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EP147:Ken Stapleton - Why Elders Matter
87 Plays4 months ago
“Hey, we need to lend a hand here. We need to get these younger men into a place where they actually need to know how to change a tire... change a set of spark plugs. Younger men are lost.”
Are we losing touch with the wisdom of our elders? Do young men today understand the true essence of masculinity? In today's fast-paced world, many men feel lost, disconnected from their roots, and unsure of their role in society. The values and skills that once defined masculinity are being overshadowed by modern distractions and confusion. But what if reclaiming these lost traditions could help us find our way back?
In a world that often feels increasingly disconnected from traditional values, many of us feel a deep yearning for guidance, wisdom, and strength. We all seek a sense of purpose and direction, especially in challenging times. Elders role is providing wisdom and guidance to younger generations. Their life experiences and insights can help young men navigate the complexities of life with greater clarity and confidence. Elders act as role models, demonstrating values such as integrity, resilience, and responsibility.
Over recent decades, rapid societal changes have created confusion about what it means to be a man. Movements towards gender equality, changing family dynamics, and the digital revolution have all contributed to this uncertainty. The decline of traditional industries and the rise of knowledge-based economies have shifted the roles men play in both work and home environments. This confusion is compounded by the lack of positive male role models in media and public life, leading to a crisis of identity for many men.
Ken Stapleton is a man with over two decades of experience in men's work. He is someone who understands the importance of nurturing younger men into true masculinity. He's here to share his insights on how we can integrate traditional masculine values into modern societal norms and why this integration is more crucial now than ever.
If you’re feeling disconnected or unsure about your place in the world, it’s time to take action. Start by taking an active role in the lives of the young men around you. Teach them the skills they need to become self-reliant and sovereign.
You’re invited to come to a Sovereign Circle meeting to experience it for yourself. To learn more, go to https://www.sovereignman.ca/. While you’re there, check out the Battle Ready program and check out the store for Sovereign Man t-shirts, hats, and books.
Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
avoided there.
Significance of Men's Work Today
00:00:02
Speaker
I mean, you know, the men's work, the longer I stuck with it, the more I realized how important, especially for us older men, to take this and nurture men into
00:00:16
Speaker
The state of masculinity, which seems to be terribly at risk in today's society, in, you know, North American society especially, use that to make your lives better so you don't have to make the same mistakes that we've made. It seems stupid to keep repeating history. It's not getting us any traction.
00:00:34
Speaker
You're a man living in the modern world in a time when men and manhood are not what they once were. You live life on your own terms. You're self-sufficient. You think for yourself and you march to the beat of your own drum. When life knocks you down, you get back up because in your gut, you know that's what men do. You're a badass and a warrior. And on the days when you forget, we are here to remind you who you really are.
00:01:06
Speaker
Welcome to Sovereign Man Podcast, where we aim to make men masculine.
Introduction of Ken Stapleton
00:01:10
Speaker
Again, I'm your man, Nicky Baloo. We have a special guest for you today. Today's guest is Ken Stapleton, a man who's been involved in the work of men for over two decades and a man that I greatly respect and a joker. Stapleton, welcome. Howdy.
00:01:31
Speaker
How are you doing? I'm doing good. Good to have you here.
Ken's Journey into Men's Work
00:01:36
Speaker
So Stapleton, we wanted to talk today about elders, about what's this whole concept of elders? Why is it that our society needs elders and why is it that the young men of today need to start learning from and frankly respecting their elders? So,
00:02:01
Speaker
Before we get into that whole deep topic, why don't you give us a bit of a background on you and what got you involved in the men's work, what it's done for you, why it's been important. Let's start there. Right, me. I'm a tech nerd. I dabble in electronics and mechanical stuff and chemicals and you name it, have been since I was a kid.
00:02:30
Speaker
wanted to be a rocket scientist when I was like eight years old. Um, that's about it there. I mean, you know, the men's work, it wasn't important at first when, you know, when I first got into it, is that, well, let's just look into
Loss of Traditional Male Values
00:02:49
Speaker
this. Let's, uh, let's see what this thing's all about. Um, but the, the more I stuck with it, the longer I stuck with it,
00:02:59
Speaker
Uh, the more I realized how important it really is for, uh, especially for us older men to take this and, and, and nurture men into, uh, a state of masculinity, which seems to be, uh, terribly at risk today's society in, in, you know, North American aside society, especially, um,
00:03:30
Speaker
losing those traditional male values that we have and, you know, integrating, finding a way to integrate those values into current societal norms is very important. But I can see that it's a very confusing
00:03:50
Speaker
uh, road for a lot of the younger men because they, they just, they just don't know. And, uh, you know, even, even men my age are a little intimidated by it. Um, maybe it's seems like too much for them to bite off. Uh, I just don't, I just don't know what it is, uh, that prevents the older men in our society now from, from really taking a look behind them and saying, you know, Hey,
00:04:18
Speaker
We need to lend a hand here. We need to get these younger men into a place where they actually know how to change a tire, how they know how to change a set of spark plugs.
00:04:35
Speaker
The Iron Man are lost man. It's all about money. It's all about, you know, and, and, and they equate money with success. And that's just not what it is. It's just not what it's about, in my opinion. I don't know. How's that for starters? Why do you think they're lost? I think it has a lot to do with, um, you know, when I was growing up in my,
00:05:02
Speaker
early teens to my 20s, that whole generation there in the 70s and even the 80s for that matter, divorce rates were pretty prevalent.
Impact of Gender Role Shifts
00:05:16
Speaker
The women were just starting to find their power, discover their power and step into non-traditional roles. There was a big ball of confusion there.
00:05:33
Speaker
I don't think we've recovered from that, to be honest. I think a lot of corporations, a lot of politicians, a lot of just plain people took advantage of that confusion and maybe perhaps not consciously.
00:05:59
Speaker
You know, it was leveraged. That confusion was leveraged against society in a way that I don't think anyone was even aware of at the time. So I think that's I think that's where where we all got
00:06:19
Speaker
thrown sideways and you know, it's an ever evolving world and things just happening a faster and faster pace all the time. It's pretty tough to keep up and you know, we need to put the brakes on a little bit. There you go. So I think you're spot on that the tumultuous societal shifts in the sixties.
00:06:50
Speaker
and 70s definitely started to confuse both men and women. But I also think that today there seems to be a cause for some optimism because there's a lot of men that are stepping forward and saying, hey, that crap don't listen to it.
00:07:17
Speaker
There's a better way. And the better way is learn about traditional masculinity, learn about traditional manhood, understand what was valuable about it, what is good about it, and embrace it. And one of the reasons I got involved in the men's work was because I was going through some hell. I was going through a tough situation in my marriage, and my marriage did not survive, unfortunately. But being with the men,
00:07:45
Speaker
opened my eyes to what it meant to be a man. And it also opened my eyes to the fact that I need elders. I need people who've been there, done that, who can guide me because on my own, I'm not going to be able to figure it out. And I'm wondering what your thoughts are on that. Yeah, well, you know, as a man who's walked down the
00:08:12
Speaker
figurative sidewalk of life and stepped in enough dog shit, why wouldn't you take some advice from a man who stepped in the dog shit that can point it out for you so you don't have to step in, you know? And as human beings, we waste an awful lot of time not paying attention
00:08:36
Speaker
to history and doing the same crazy crap over and over and over again, just relearning, relearning, relearning just what, you know, what's in front of us. And it's ridiculous. Um, why is that? You know, why, why is that? I've got more questions than I do answers on that. Let me tell you. Yeah. Um,
00:09:04
Speaker
Yeah, why not take the gifts that we who have been through some of this crap in life, take those gifts, the knowledge that we've gained from the experiences that we've had, take that in and use that to make your
Repeating Historical Mistakes
00:09:30
Speaker
lives better.
00:09:32
Speaker
So you don't have to make the same mistakes that we've made. It just seems stupid to keep repeating history. It's not getting us any traction, you know? Yeah, I wholeheartedly agree with that. I read a book by a fellow named Stefan Arneo called Hard Times Create Strong Men, and he said history just keeps repeating itself, repeating the same lessons with different players in different costumes. That's what he says.
00:10:05
Speaker
I think there's a lot of truth to that. I just read a book about ancient Rome. 536 page book, you know, and it went into not just the celebrated figures from Roman history, like Julius Caesar and Sulla and Augustus Caesar and folks like that, but also into the culture of Rome, how people lived back then. And I look at
00:10:33
Speaker
what we're doing today in the West, man, we're like the late Roman Republic. We're shooting ourselves in the foot as a society. And what happened to the late Roman Republic is the dictators took over like Caesar and then it became an empire for the rest of its existence. The Republic was gone. And I'm going, shit, is that what's about to happen here? Yeah, take a look at the right side. At least we got plastic plumbing, right?
00:11:05
Speaker
versus digging your own latrines? There you go, yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah. No, and you're right. You know, my lineage is, there's some German in my lineage and almost brought up in Nazi Germany.
00:11:31
Speaker
And she can see parallels. I mean, my mom, God bless her, she's still still alive and kicking and she got more on the ball than most politicians. You know, she can see it. She can see it, you know, like January 6th, for example, I mean, that was the the German equivalent or the American equivalent rather of of Kristallnacht.
00:12:01
Speaker
No, it wasn't. Come on. That's a lot of. January 6th was an inside job by the FBI meant to make Trump and his supporters look bad. That's all it was. OK. OK, I can see we're not going to get anywhere with this. So let's drop this. We'll agree to disagree on this. OK. Wholeheartedly. But but the you know, the bottom line is, yeah, there there is. Well, everybody is running around in circles.
00:12:31
Speaker
flying their different flags and ramming into ridiculous notions that there are some things in life that are more important than life itself here. Yeah, you're right. The bad guys are sneaking in.
00:12:52
Speaker
taking advantage of it. You're absolutely right. And this is exactly what happened, you know, what's happened in any regime that's been where the people have been enslaved. They're too busy watching this hand while this hand's doing something else. Yeah, that's what happened in ancient Rome. And I think
Weakening Masculinity's Consequences
00:13:20
Speaker
One of the reasons why the powers that be have confused men, have weakened men, is because a society with weak men is a society that can easily be enslaved. A society with strong men is a society that cannot so easily be enslaved. You'll stand up and you'll fight for your rights. What do you think young people
00:13:51
Speaker
can gain from taking more time to listen to their elders that they are not getting now because they're not listening to their elders. Uh, knowledge of where they came from. Well, uh, from, uh,
00:14:19
Speaker
from a scientific viewpoint, what are you genetically predisposed to? Disease wise. If there's things that somebody can watch out for, hey, I'm genetically predisposed to colon cancer, why not keep a closer eye on that? And we see cancer rates among younger people are increasing steadily.
00:14:47
Speaker
So there's something to watch for there. I don't know what it is, but there's something to watch for there. They can. There's a lot of men that don't know how to drive a nail when they don't know which end of a hammer to hold. You know, those those. Yeah, yeah, it is. It's nuts. And I mean, I get it. You know, you live in the city and everything. You can buy everything and it's convenient to just hire a guy and
00:15:17
Speaker
He's going to pass that little hole in your wall for, you know, 200 bucks an hour. And, you know, it's just when I see that the lack of resourcefulness in younger people, it's astounding. It is astounding.
00:15:36
Speaker
And I don't know where it comes from. I suppose just parking your kid in front of a video game, you know, when they're five years old and you don't really get to see who they are until they're like 20 years old is not really a good way to parent, you know. I know, Nicky, that you and your boys, I mean, you're very involved in their upbringing, their activities,
00:16:06
Speaker
You know, kudos to you. Uh, in, you know, in my way of thinking you're, you're doing the right thing. Um, your boys know you, you know, your boys, you know, um, you're not their best friend. You're their father. You know, uh, you take an act of role in making sure that those young men roll up to be resourceful,
00:16:37
Speaker
men capable of taking care of themselves in every way, shape, and form. And you know, the mistakes that you've made that you pass along to your boys. It may be not, uh, Hey kids, here's what I did. The dumb things that I did, but rather they're, you know, guiding them in, in, in such a way that they're less likely to step in the dog shit on life's sidewalk.
00:17:08
Speaker
Is that fair? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. No. I think more adults taking interest in the welfare of our society as opposed to what their needs are, what they feel, you know,
00:17:31
Speaker
they need to look society to look like, but rather take, uh, take some responsibility, uh, to make sure that we're bringing up, uh, uh, kids here that develop their own sense of social responsibility.
Loss of Practical Skills Education
00:17:49
Speaker
And, uh, uh, also curious. I mean, when I was in my teens,
00:17:58
Speaker
The school I went to, we had auto shop, electrical shop, electronics, drafting, machine shop, sheet metal. Did I say auto shop? One of my favorite. You know, we had all these shops. And yeah, I mean, every once in a while, a kid got a finger lopped off. And every once in a while, you know, somebody catch a piece of metal in the forehead.
00:18:27
Speaker
That's Darwin at work, right? I mean, it's going to weed out the dummies. And I say that kind of tongue in cheek. However. The programs that we had were. Well, we had two General Motors shops here in town, two General Motors manufacturing plants. So the high school I went to
00:18:54
Speaker
spot out kids in grade 12, grade 13 with some really fantastic capabilities that could move into friendship programs for machinists, millwrights, you name it. A lot of talent came out of the high school that I went to. You'd be pretty hard pressed to find
00:19:17
Speaker
high schools anymore without shops, with some decent hands-on mechanical shops that kids can learn shit from. They're just not around anymore. And who put that to death? I think insurance companies put that to death.
00:19:43
Speaker
too much liability to carry. You know, what if a little Bobby catches a screwdriver in the forehead? Well, you know what? Fuck little Bobby. He was doomed to fail anyways. All right. Uh, we need more of that kind of, uh, uh, education out there. I mean, girls used to take home Mac. Uh, there were some other subjects that I don't know. I even never paid too much attention to what the girls were doing. Um,
00:20:15
Speaker
And I say that in a good way. Okay. But heck yeah. Yeah, we had construction. We had all kinds of shops. It just doesn't happen anymore. Hence, you know, you've got now
00:20:40
Speaker
these special technicians that you take your car to and you ain't walking away from that shop without dropping a G note for the simplest, simplest of shit, you know, done to your car. So it's, it's just gone. It's just gone. Absolutely nuts, dude. And, uh,
00:21:01
Speaker
I don't know, somebody fell asleep at the switch a long time ago here and I got to take some ownership in this myself. Granted, I've always managed to hang drywall, do construction, design electronics.
00:21:23
Speaker
get a manufacturing operation going. There's a bunch of stuff that I know that I know and I'm only too happy to pass that on. And of course I have passed some of that on along the way.
00:21:37
Speaker
but just not enough of it, you know, not enough of it to really make a big difference the way we need differences to be made.
Reliance on Foreign Labor
00:21:47
Speaker
I mean, right now we're pulling in skilled labor from other countries and there's no good reason for that. We don't make the investments into our own backyards here.
00:22:02
Speaker
but rather depend on somebody else. I mean, you know, the US and Canada now are starting to finally wake up. You know, during those, the Clint years, there was a lot of manufacturing that left the United States and moved to China. And along with that, the actual physical technology, the finances, everything moved to China.
00:22:27
Speaker
And now we're paying the price for it because a few industrialists figure they were gonna put more money in their pockets. No concern about the people that they were employing or anything. People wanted to go to Walmart and get cheaper Bucknives, dammit. Well, there's a price to pay for that, right? There's a price to pay. And we're paying the price right now. We're scrambling, trying to figure out if we need to buy computers off the Chinese so that we can bomb them
00:22:58
Speaker
If need be. Doesn't make any sense. We're going to buy back technology from the people that would just as you think about this, if you look at ancient Rome, right? Ancient Rome stopped requiring its young men to go into the military at a certain point, and all of their soldiers were mercenaries.
00:23:27
Speaker
Their soldiers were non-Romans. Now, they gave some of those people citizenship after a while, but there came a time where the average Roman-born child, or born in the Roman Empire, didn't want to fight for his country anymore. And after 100, 150, 200 years of that, Rome was sacked by the Goths, the Germans essentially,
00:23:54
Speaker
and the Roman Empire disappeared, disappeared, right? And you look at us right now, we're ancient Rome. China is like the Visigoths. That's what's happening.
Reclaiming Traditional Masculinity
00:24:13
Speaker
So to me,
00:24:15
Speaker
The only way this can be turned around is if at the grassroots, people like me, like you talk about this and help young men step up, and I'm optimistic because there's a lot of people that are doing that in a way that certainly wasn't happening. In the 90s, there was Justin Sterling and the Sterling Men's Weekend, and that was it, okay? Today, there's hundreds of programs
00:24:42
Speaker
Maybe even thousands for young men and men to get into. Now, some of them are dogshit and aren't worthy of the name, but some of them are really, really good. And there's a lot of men that are seeking this. That's why I'm grateful because men are seeking knowledge. Men are seeking to know themselves as men, and they're seeking to learn from someone who's ahead of them.
00:25:12
Speaker
I want a lot of these men to seek elders because some of these men that are coming out and teaching this work, they're young and they're dumb. Let's just be straight. They're young and they're fucking dumb. They think they're not. And they think because they've made some money. So there's this dude, Andrew Tate, right? He's got a big name. He's all over it. And he goes out and he talks like he actually knows what he's fucking talking about. And when I hear him speak, I go, okay, there's some things you know,
00:25:40
Speaker
And you can talk about them with authority, but there's a lot of things you don't know. You're a 36, 37 year old son of a single mother. Shut the fuck up and stop telling men how to build families. You ain't got a clue. Shut the fuck up.
00:25:58
Speaker
You're a four-time world kickboxing champion. Okay, you can teach men how to get fit and how to look after themselves and not get beaten up in a fight. I'll give you that. You've made some money. You can teach men about making money, but there's a lot of shit you don't know. So you should just shut the fuck up. And there's all kinds of other men that are going out there telling men, hey,
00:26:17
Speaker
You don't need women. You could just go sleep with some women, but you'd be part of this MGTOW movement. Men going their own way. No families, no kids. I'm like, what kind of stupid ass message is that? Enough men do that. Our society is going to implode. We won't have a civilization left anymore. You know, men have got to form families with women and have kids. There's no two ways about it. And that's what I think.
00:26:48
Speaker
We need to wake young men the fuck up to. Yeah, pretty much. Kid comes home and he's been bullied by the school bully. Show him how to throw a punch. Don't throw him how to don't show him how to.
00:27:10
Speaker
complain and whine to somebody because they're going to get sued. Now throw, show your kid how to throw a punch. Like it's cheap. It's effective. And it works. You know, we've taken that away from kids. We've taken away. See, these are all natural things that I look at. When you watch animals, right?
00:27:39
Speaker
A mother bear raising her cubs, she will swat a cub that's doing something dumb, right? Something that potentially could be harmful to its well-being. She will swat that little bugger. What the hell?
00:28:02
Speaker
I think this is stuff that nature gave us, the tools that nature gave us. And we don't use it. We don't use it. Right? We practice that ancient Japanese martial art, Aisu. Aisu. Fuck, dude. Crazy. That's funny. That's funny as shit. So all I can say is that's funny as shit.
00:28:34
Speaker
It's funny as shit. Aisu. Aisu. That works only until civil society breaks down and somebody you're suing comes over to you with a gun or a fucking samurai sword and ends you. And then good might you. And
00:29:01
Speaker
a little poke in the nose every now and then it goes a long way. So I was brought up. The great Mike Tyson said everybody's got a plan until they get punched in the face.
Defining Success for Men
00:29:13
Speaker
There's a lot of truth to that. There's a lot of truth to that. Absolutely. A lot of truth to that. No, I
00:29:24
Speaker
I like what you're saying here, Stapleton, and I appreciate you taking the time to come on the show and explain to men what they need to know in order to live life as good, successful, masculine men. And I really want to reiterate, it's not just about making money. It's not just about how many broads you can sleep with.
00:29:55
Speaker
You know, it's not just about how many followers you got on social fucking media. It's about who you are as a man and how you comport yourself and how other men see you.
00:30:16
Speaker
And they want to see you be successful. They don't want to see you as a derelict who can't pay his own bills. So you ought to be able to be financially independent, as it were. They want to see you be good in relationship. And if you are a father, as a father, they want to see you raise good kids. And they want to see you as somebody who gives a shit about other people, enough of a shit to talk to them to attempt to uplift them.
00:30:44
Speaker
They don't want to see you being some preening, prancing macho village idiot. Fortunately, they're the ones that get the attention. The village idiots, the village idiots. So, you know, I mean, you know, for any man out there listening, if you've never really had a hands on with
00:31:12
Speaker
with much around you, you know, get your ass down to Home Depot this weekend and grab yourself a picnic table kit. A couple of hunks of wood and a hammer and some nails and just try some nails in just for the hell of it. You might like the way that feels even. You might just get off on that feeling. Nothing better than building stuff from scratch, man. Standing back at the end of the day, looking at it and saying, you know what, I did that. Hold your head up and
00:31:43
Speaker
Be proud. Learning man skills is important. Very, very important. Yes, sir. And not having man skills is an embarrassment. It's a fucking embarrassment. It's an embarrassment. No question about it. It is, yeah.
Joining Brotherhoods for Masculinity
00:32:06
Speaker
And if you're a man and you are not part of a brotherhood of men,
00:32:14
Speaker
Go to our website, sovereignman.ca. Check out what we're all about. And if you want to be a part of a brotherhood of men, reach out to us. Let us know you're interested. We'll invite you out to a meeting so you can check it out and see what it's all about.
00:32:35
Speaker
Men innately crave masculine-only spaces. This is what we provide, a masculine-only space where your masculine power can flourish and you can be the best version of yourself. So do yourself a favor. Do what Stapleton said, go buy some wood and some nails and a hammer and drive them in. Drive the nails into the wood with the hammer and check out sovereignman.ca.
00:33:01
Speaker
and come check out what a masculine-only space is all about. Stapleton, thanks for coming on. Hey, thanks for the invitation. You bet. I'll say you are. You're looking good, buddy. You're looking good. Thank you. And your age well. Wish I could say the same for you. Yeah, I know.
00:33:27
Speaker
I'm still on the side of the grass, so y'all are in trouble. That's all that matters. Thank you for listening to The Sovereign Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life and become the man you've always wanted to be, we invite you to join the movement at sovereignman.ca.