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EP160: Billou & Arpa - Are YOU An Asset Or A Liability?
97 Plays3 months ago
Are you truly contributing positively to your relationships and goals, or are you unintentionally dragging them down? understanding your role as either an asset or a liability can impact all areas of your life—from personal relationships to professional success.
Whether in relationships, work, or personal goals, it's crucial to understand where we stand and how we impact those around us. We all want to grow, succeed, and be valued, but how do we ensure we're not dragging ourselves or others down?
Some men find themselves puzzled when relationships or significant aspects of their lives don’t work out. Often, the root of these issues can be traced back to whether a man is an asset or a liability in those relationships. By evaluating ourselves honestly, we gain the clarity needed to make improvements and enhance our value in every aspect of life.
You’re invited to come to a Sovereign Circle meeting to experience it for yourself. To learn more, go to https://www.sovereignman.ca/. While you’re there, check out the Battle Ready program and check out the store for Sovereign Man t-shirts, hats, and books.
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Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
That's important.
Evaluating Self-Worth: Asset or Liability?
00:00:01
Speaker
Are you an asset or a liability to yourself? And it's that's fully sovereign, gold driven. him being financially self-sufficient or looking more to build a legacy. You need to be able to, as a man, honestly evaluate yourself. Identify where you're falling short so you can take action to improve yourself. The best place for a man to know whether he's being an asset or not as and is in a group of men who will tell you the straight goods.
00:00:33
Speaker
You're a man living in the modern world in a time when men and manhood are not what they once were. You live life on your own terms. You're self-sufficient. You think for yourself and you march to the beat of your own drum. When life knocks you down, you get back up because in your gut, you know that's what men do. You're a badass and a warrior. And on the days when you forget, we are here to remind you who you really are.
Introduction to 'The Sovereign Man' Podcast
00:01:05
Speaker
Welcome to the sovereign man podcast where we aim to make men masculine Again god bless donald trump for coming up with or reviving make america great as we borrowed From him our catchphrase, which is to make masculine again, and i'm here with my man Rob our welcome mark Thanks brother. How's it going? fantastic fantastic so
00:01:36
Speaker
Today's topic is an important one. You and I talked about it offline.
Understanding Roles in Relationships
00:01:41
Speaker
And today's topic is all about helping you as a man understand whether you are an asset or a liability. Are you an asset or are you a liability?
00:01:58
Speaker
So Arpa, why do you and I believe this question is an important one for men to pay attention to? ah Right on. um So I think it's it's an important question for men to dwell into and look into in their own lives. ah Because you know in our in our circles of men, we talk to a lot of men that relationships come to an end, and they're always puzzled. They don't understand you know what what happened. why Why did it dissolve?
00:02:29
Speaker
And you know from us on the outside looking in, we can always make the distinction, but some men don't do that. So we're hoping that with this kind of a discussion that men will be able to look at themselves and make some changes and hopefully save save a relationship. that that's why That's why it's a good conversation to have. Absolutely, right? you You need to be able to, as a man, honestly evaluate yourself.
00:02:56
Speaker
and that allows you the opportunity to identify where you're falling short so you can take action to get better, to improve yourself because Improvement doesn't happen just by osmosis.
Context of Being an Asset or Liability
00:03:15
Speaker
So you hang it out going, okay, I guess I'm gonna get better. No, improvement happens through deliberate action, through taking stock of who you are in the various areas of your life and seeing where you're falling short and taking deliberate action to get better. And this is an important thing for men to understand.
00:03:36
Speaker
this question is a self-evaluation question. And Art, you mentioned offline to me that this is a context-specific question. What do you mean by that? Well, context, I mean, like, in yeah you know, if we're talking about where you are and in terms of a relationship with your significant other, you can have the same kind of, ah you know, introspection around, you know, how your you're performing at work, you know, how how are you doing with relationships with, you know, friends? A lot of this can be, you know, re-derived, but the ah pain factor hits the hardest generally with ah with a significant other.
00:04:19
Speaker
um you know Because men men can tend to bounce back from you know losing a job or changing their path of success. But but you know when it comes to the mother of your children leaving, that that hits hits pretty darn hard. And I think that's that's why you know we speak about that the most. But again, the introspection can happen in various different scenarios. So in your relationship with your woman,
00:04:47
Speaker
ask yourself, are you an asset or are you a liability? And if you're a liability, you're a burden to your woman. And a man should never be a burden to his woman. So Arpa delved into that more deeply for us. Yeah, so i think I think what we should should do is you know make it clear because that one one of the issues that I know I have is I tend to assume that most men or most people fully understand what we're talking about. And and when we say asset, an asset is something that adds value. um you know So if we're looking at like an investment,
00:05:30
Speaker
it grows by adding more more cash by the value increasing. And a liability is something that takes value. So something like ah like a like car loan, interest attached to it is taking value away. So that's that's what we want to say. So now when we ask the question, are you an asset or a liability, do you add more value than you take? And and that's a pretty deep ah discussion to have.
00:05:55
Speaker
Um, so many need to look at, you know, am I adding value to this relationship or not? So give us some examples of a man adding value versus a man who's a liability and who's a burden to the relationship and to this, to his woman. Well, I think, uh, you know, what a man needs to do is, is to look at, um, you know, are are you, are you, uh, uh, are you being needy in any way? Do you, do you require.
00:06:25
Speaker
your significant other for your your survival. When we're in our circles, we always talk about self-sufficiency in these five defined areas, ranging from you know the the easiest one, believe it or not, is the financial part, all the way up to you know emotional or or physical self-suffness sovereignty and self-sufficiency.
Achieving Self-Sufficiency in Life
00:06:49
Speaker
So there's those five various areas. And you know a man really needs to look at himself and say,
00:06:55
Speaker
Can I survive this next week or a month without her if she's incapable of doing whatever? And it could be as simple as, you know, doing the laundry, cooking meals. Like these are the some of the simple things, but when you compound them like interesting as it compounds, it gets, it gets a lot, a lot of heavier. lot Well,
00:07:24
Speaker
If you as a man need her to pay your bills, that's a fucking problem, right? If you as a man are clinging to her emotionally and you can't bear to go through a day and evening without her being around, that's a fucking problem.
00:07:41
Speaker
um So ask yourself, do you need her financially? Because if you do, Step up, smarten up and make sure that you don't anymore. You do you cling to her emotionally? Do you need her to give you pussy or sex for you to feel good?
00:08:03
Speaker
Because they are stop moving around so much because it's coming across on the mic. ah So. um Do you need her to. Give you.
00:08:15
Speaker
um her attention for you to feel good. Cause if all of that's the case, you're screwed. You're screwed, blued and tattooed. Yeah. 100%. And you know, sometimes being screwed isn't right away, but down the line, like this, this can come back and resurface 10, 10 years down the line, 15 years. Um, you know, like how many,
00:08:47
Speaker
20 years, you know, kids in their mid to late teens and all of a sudden now the marriage is dissolving. It's a story that's in a lot of rinse repeated, you know. So, you know, just because you think you've gone in 10 years doesn't mean that, you know, things can't change and things won't change. So, you know, as as men, we should always be on the lookout for, you know, whether or not we're dropping our guard it comes to to being that sovereign man that, you know, our relationships need us to be. 100%. 100%. Now let's move to a different context than relationships. Let's move to a context of the achievement of your most important goals, right? Success, because to a lot of men that's important. Are you an asset or a liability to yourself in the pursuit and achievement of your most important goals?
00:09:47
Speaker
And one of the key questions we need to ask men, and I want you to stack on this, is are you moving toward or away from your goals on a day-to-day basis? Yeah. And I think that that's another very important part because a man that's that fully sovereign will be goal-driven, you know, a man is going to be working towards whether that is, you know, him being financially self-sufficient or if a man's moved beyond that and is looking more to build a legacy, you know, for what he's going to leave behind his permanent mark on the world, you know.
Being Goal-Driven and Productive
00:10:28
Speaker
So, yeah, it's a good question to always ask, you know, a man that's living, you know, paycheck to paycheck,
00:10:37
Speaker
isn't, you know, doing so bad if part of that paycheck is going to the accumulation of assets because a man's got a goal. But if it's just because a man's got some addictions like, you know, alcohol, and he's just pissing his money away in booze, oh hey man, now there's an issue here. Massive issue. Yeah, and that dependency could could affect a lot of parts of his life. I know alcoholics that you know Me personally, I had to terminate the position at our at our place of business because they stopped showing up for for work. They stopped showing up reliably.
00:11:16
Speaker
We can't have that. No, you can't. doesn't yeah that's and That's a massive issue. Huge. The other thing is,
00:11:26
Speaker
One way you know whether you're an asset or a liability in in your life when it comes to being ah a man that's confidently moving toward his goals or not is do other men come and ask you for advice? So you know, Art, that since February of 2023, I've significantly ah enhanced my physical condition and shape, right? I i lost i lost a bunch of unwanted fat.
00:11:53
Speaker
and I ah got really trim and tight and It's incredible, but since that's happened, so many men, especially men, women too, but especially men, have come to me and asked me for advice. They asked me, how the fuck did you do that? yeah What do you eat? How do you work out? What's going on? So men are seeking me out because they see me as an asset to their own vague and hazy vision of getting in shape. They go, if this dude did it, I better cling to him because maybe he can help me do it.
00:12:28
Speaker
That's one way you know you're an asset, right? Is when men in particular come to you and ask you for advice, ask you for help. Yeah, 100%. I get, you know, in similar fashion. I get men asking me questions about their businesses. A lot of people asking us for help in our industry. um And and that's that's, you know, a gauge of, you know, a man being in his success and being an asset.
00:12:59
Speaker
We all know like men, you know, men, women, whomever, everyone wants to hold on
Impact of Being an Asset or Liability
00:13:04
Speaker
to assets. Everyone's looking to lose liabilities. So yeah, so that's always always a good gauge, especially when it comes to success. if If others are asking you about what, you know, some of the things that you're doing, there's a clear sign that you are you are in your success.
00:13:25
Speaker
Yeah. And another way you know if you are an asset is when people come and seek you out and ask for your input yeah on getting in shape, growing their business, being better with their relationship, they consider you an asset. Everyone wants to hold on to assets and everyone wants to dump their liabilities. And that's really well set.
00:13:53
Speaker
Yeah, 100%. I don't know anyone other than you know potentially government that would you know likes to collect and accumulate liabilities. you know nobody Nobody else really wants to do that. um you know We tend to, as as human beings, with with short attention spans, accumulate assets that have liabilities tied to them.
00:14:20
Speaker
but But normally, like, yeah, nobody wants to maintain a liability. It's just, there's it's a no-win game there, right? no young game As you like to say, Arpa, it's no bueno. No bueno. Liabilities are no bueno. No, no. I don't know anyone that would ever say that they are good. That liabilities do not make good investments. Nobody wants those.
00:14:45
Speaker
So yeah, you know, part of the key to life is to make sure that you're that asset that you're bringing value to the people around you. you know That way they'll keep you around for for quite a bit longer. And and that's really that's really what we want. you know Even you know men, as as they become elders, and you know you look at an elder as a traditional sense, what are we doing really good at elders for? Wisdom, right? So they they they are an asset because they they have that wisdom that they can they can share. Now whether or not you execute on that is a different story, but they have a value. Otherwise, what do you do with them?
00:15:23
Speaker
my In my opinion, every man should ask himself this question. And he should ask this question of himself regularly, am I an asset or liability in this relationship? Am I an asset or liability when it comes to inspiring ah the people around me to be their best? Am I an asset or liability at work? Am I an asset or liability in my friendships? Am I an asset or liability as a son, as ah as a as as a friend, as a husband, as a father?
00:15:55
Speaker
All of these questions will force a man to be introspective and force him to look for where he is falling short and being that fucking liability. Because if you just meander through night through life, I almost said meander through knife, that would have been an interesting phrase, that's for sure. If you just meander through life as a wandering generality,
00:16:22
Speaker
you're just bobbing up and down and you are not living a life that you are going to be proud of. And you're not living a life where other people are going to be excited about joining forces with you, whether for a short or long period of time, because people only want to join forces with people that are going to help them move forward. Yeah. That that is the truth. Yeah. that You know, it's unfortunate, but everyone to,
00:16:50
Speaker
to some degree is very selfish. So they're going to, you know, look at a relationship and, you know, does this person bring value? And if if your reliability you're you're gone and you should be gone. Dude, how hard is it for you to think of a man who may have started the relationship out as an asset, but then turned into a liability where they just this constant need energy and time suck. And where are they now?
00:17:20
Speaker
you know out of my life, that's for sure. Cause I don't want to go to you pretty quick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right.
Strategies to Become an Asset
00:17:29
Speaker
So, you know, men, men need to look at that. And you know, if you're a man, if you, if you even think for any minute that you might be a liability, maybe ask yourself, how do I become an asset or how can I become a greater asset? What can I do more?
00:17:48
Speaker
or better Well, inside of a marriage, be a better provider. Inside of a marriage, be a better listener. Inside of a marriage, um be somebody who ah has a shit together. ah It's really important, your woman's gonna wanna see that you have your shit together, right? Inside of a friendship, be a giver more than a taker. Inside of a friendship, ah go out of your way to stay connected and make time.
00:18:17
Speaker
ah for the people in your world and in your life. And when it comes to pursuing your fucking goals, actually pursue them, have a plan for going after them, get the help that you need and make it happen. Because if you're not doing those things, then chances are you're not an asset, you're a liability.
00:18:35
Speaker
and yeah it's very important for you to very quickly determine whether you are being an asset or a liability in all the major areas and in your life. And wherever you're not being an asset or not a strong enough of an asset, make sure that you have a plan for determining how to become a better asset or just become an asset and stop becoming a liability period. And in a relationship,
00:19:07
Speaker
If your wife is is not wanting to spend time with you and you're acting just like roommates, chances are you're probably a liability. If your wife has stopped giving you sex or is only giving you sex reluctantly, chances are she sees you more as a liability. Because trust me, a woman that sees you as an asset is very happy to open her legs for you and give you her pearl of great price.
00:19:35
Speaker
And a woman that does not see you as an asset is very reluctant to open her legs for you and give you her pearl of great price. Because let's face it, when it comes to sex, women hold all the power. We don't. We want it. They have the ability to give it to us or deny it to us. And they'll only give it to us if we are an asset to them in their lives. Then they are thrilled to give it to us because It's almost like they're giving you a gift because you're such an asset in their life. Yep. You know, on the flip side of that too, you can always see if the woman's very combative. Like don't get me wrong, someone when they have a need for some drama and they'll call shit just to get that fix on drama. But sure if if it's constant, you know, if if you're not, if you feel unwelcome in your own home, you know, chances are you're you're showing up as a liability.
00:20:33
Speaker
She may not want you around for that much longer. So if they
Community and Guidance for Men
00:20:37
Speaker
you know if you feel like your relationship is strained, it's probably a good idea to get in front of some of your men and have them take a look at what's your what's going on in your life and find a way way to make things better. Amen. Amen. Amen.
00:20:58
Speaker
So men, to recap, step one, ask yourself this question, am I an asset or a liability in my relationship? Am I an asset or a liability in this friendship, in the other friendship, et cetera? Am I an asset or a liability in my relationship as a father to my children? Am I an asset or a liability at work? Am I an asset or a liability when it comes to achieving the most important goals for me, be they,
00:21:26
Speaker
fitness and health goals, be they wealth achievement goals, be they writing a book for the first time in your life ah goals, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that you constantly check in with yourself on this question, and you answer the question honestly, and you look for clues, because there are clues. There are clues all around this.
00:21:53
Speaker
Is your woman wanting you around? Is she giving you sex or ah at all or reluctantly or is she giving you sex with a lot of enthusiasm? Do you feel clingy or needy to her or are you fine if she's not around? When it comes to your goals, are you moving towards your goals on a daily basis? You're moving away from your goals. ah Do other men ask you for advice when it comes to them wanting to achieve goals that you've already achieved? Do other men ask you for help? Do other men ask you for your input?
00:22:20
Speaker
These are the things that you can do to do a very quick but accurate self-evaluation as to whether or not you're an asset or liability. And if you land more on the asset side, great. The next question you want to ask is, how do I become an even more valuable asset, a better asset? And if you are landing on the side of the liability, the question is simple. How do I become an asset? How do I stop being a liability? and How do I become an asset? And then, bottom line,
00:22:52
Speaker
Take action. Take action. Take action. Take action. The more action you take, the more likely it is that you're going to become a better asset or stop being a liability and become an asset. Maybe this will be the first time in your life you've ever been an asset and that's okay.
00:23:10
Speaker
That's okay. There's nothing wrong with being wherever the heck you're at. If you're in a shitty place, you're in a shitty place. You don't need to stay in that shitty place. That's the point. And ARPA, I'll give you the last word.
00:23:28
Speaker
So for for all you men listening, when you go through all that, I highly suggest you seek some men, whether you've got them in your life already or if you don't, come find us the best place for a man to know ah or to figure out whether he's being an asset or not, as in a group of men who will ah tell you the straight goods because We all do it. I do it. I believe my own shit. i I buy my own song and dance, so to speak. And the only way to get the truth is when two or three other men turn you and say, hey, man, ARPS, you're full of shit. You know what? Probably right. and i'm Probably buying it. So for those men that are listening, come find us. We're more than happy to help you become the assets you you deserve to be in your life.
00:24:24
Speaker
Amen. And the way you find us is you go to our website, sovereignman.ca. There's a contact form, and there is all kinds of great resources, plus the programs that we offer are laid out and available to you. Take a look at them. And that website also includes every episode we've ever done. We're approaching 160 episodes so far. Yeah, 200 pretty soon.
00:24:49
Speaker
Yeah, there's a strong library of episodes ah with great content, great information, really valuable stuff that's available to you. Take advantage of it. Honestly, take advantage of it. ah It's very powerful and will help you improve yourself in every area of your life. you know In the old days, getting and acquiring knowledge was difficult. right You had to attend the university or sign up for a course.
00:25:16
Speaker
today it's not so difficult it's available for you almost for free you can go learn about anything on youtube for free or on a podcast for free and how to be an effective successful man who's a good provider you can learn that by listening to the sovereign man podcast how to be an effective and successful man who's good and strong in his relationships with his woman, with his children. That's available for you out of listening to some of the episodes in Sovereign Man. How to be a man who's gonna get healthy and fit. You know, I could do more about that. I'm actually gonna bring more men to talk about that, because we haven't done a whole lot around that. But even that, there's a little bit available in Sovereign Man. And it's all free, so take advantage of it. That's all we have to do. Yeah, 100%. Awesome. Art, good to have you here. 100% resource. Say it, brother. Yeah, man, it was a good time. It was. And that's a wrap.
00:26:11
Speaker
Thank you for listening to The Sovereign Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life and become the man you've always wanted to be, we invite you to join the movement at sovereignman.ca.