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EP155: Patrick Francey - How To Transcend Your Shitty Circumstances And Still Win Bigly
103 Plays4 months ago
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
The challenges we’ve all faced in the last several years have reaffirmed the need for men to step up as strong leaders in our families, communities, and governments. People who demonstrate the capacity to stand up for what’s right, regardless of what pressures they face from circumstances or others’ expectations. But with masculinity under attack and the average young man not having access to the tools he needs to grow into a true leader, it’s critical to create an environment for men to come together to learn these things.
Patrick Francey of REIN is a distinguished thought leader and multiple business owner with a wealth of experience in navigating turbulent times. He shares his insights on facing adversity, the power of community, and the importance of maintaining personal values and sovereignty.
Link: REIN https://reincanada.com/aboutus/rein-team/
You’re invited to come to a Sovereign Circle meeting to experience it for yourself. To learn more, go to https://www.sovereignman.ca/. While you’re there, check out the Battle Ready program and check out the store for Sovereign Man t-shirts, hats, and books.
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Transcript
Morality vs. Obedience
00:00:00
Speaker
We can't step over the reality of what's gone on the past five years. I'm talking about the uncertainty in our own confidence, you know, in the confidence of somebody to take a stand for what they believe to be right. Morality is knowing what is right and doing it regardless of what others say. Obedience is doing what others say, regardless of what you know to be right. I stand for what I stand for. I am clear on my values. I know what drives me in my decision-making processes.
00:00:39
Speaker
We all want change, but we don't want to change or we all want change, but we don't want our circumstances to change. You know, it's really because we don't want to go through the pain. You know, ultimately with change comes that transitional period, that period of time where it's really uncomfortable. how do we actually create the environment for us to step up? That is bringing together a group of like-minded men to work through this shit, to have these conversations, to get outside of yourself and say, okay, I need feedback. Because if you're living in a bubble, we've got no feedback. We've got no perspective other than our own. And my favorite quote, I go to it all the time. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
00:01:26
Speaker
You're a man living in the modern world in a time when men and manhood are not what they once were. You live life on your own terms. You're self-sufficient. You think for yourself and you march to the beat of your own drum. When life knocks you down, you get back up because in your gut, you know that's what men do. You're a badass and a warrior. And on the days when you forget, we are here to remind you who you really are.
Introduction to Guest: Patrick Francie
00:01:57
Speaker
Welcome to Sovereign Man podcast where we aim to make men mask. And again, I'm your man, Nicky Baloo. We have a very special repeat guest here today, Patrick Francie of RAINN. Welcome to the show, Patrick. Nicky, good to be here. Good to have you here, my man. Patrick, we're living in interesting times. I know you agree with this, right? The last four or five years, the world has changed a little bit. And um a lot of folks are feeling
00:02:27
Speaker
Like circumstances are less than ideal in terms of creating the life that they want, the results that they want. um And I wanted to, first of all, get your take on this. Why do you think that is? Why do you think so many people are feeling like it's not as easy to win and succeed in 2024 as it was, let's say 2018?
Impact of Recent Events on Society
00:02:54
Speaker
I think we can't you know we can't step over the reality of what's gone on the past five years and you know consider the fact that yeah whatever rabbit hole you might want to go down, you know whether it was a PSYOP or just the nature of what's going on in the world, You know, we can't step over just the impact of being and going through the lockdown, the economic changes that happen, the polarity, the divisiveness, the rhetoric, all of the things that are going on. and And I mean, we've never been through anything like that before. And if you don't have the capacity, the mental, emotional EQ, if you will,
00:03:33
Speaker
um to and and And really the ability to face that kind of adversity and get through it, you know using some form of you know common sense or surrounding yourself with the right people. My point is, is that all of a sudden families found themselves fighting amongst each other couples. I can't even tell you sadly how many couples broke up over what went on. you know, we can't step over the reality of what's gone on the past five years. And I mean, not just uncertainty economically, although that is definitely the case. I'm talking about the uncertainty in our own confidence, you know, in the confidence of somebody to take a stand for what they believe to be right. And, you know, there was a really great quote that I saw, Nicky, I wanted to share it with you. And that was that morality is
00:04:24
Speaker
knowing what is right and doing it regardless of what others say, obedience is doing what others say, regardless of what you know to be right. And a lot of people, a lot of men did not stand up for what they know is right through that period of time, all to say that Lots of wounds to heal that aren't being healed. Lots of things that have happened that, you know, just nobody's dealt with before emotionally, mentally, relationally, the ability to communicate. So I think it's not any one thing, but it is certainly a lot of things. And I think there's some, to be honest with you, I think there's probably some post pandemic PTSD. That's what I really believe.
00:05:20
Speaker
Post-pandemic PTSD is a thing. I agree with you.
Leadership and Integrity in Crisis
00:05:24
Speaker
um And that was a wonderful quote, by the way. Do you know who said it first? I don't. I i don't. i It was just something I ran across and I went, wow, that is so true. you know The ability to stand up for what is right, regardless of what's going on. And we saw that in spades by many through the lockdowns. And we saw the opposite of that by many through the lockdown. I was i was disappointed with many leaders who I considered leaders and their buy into the political narrative, the all of the narrative that was going on at the time. And they didn't stand up. They actually got really quiet. And I was disappointed by that.
00:06:18
Speaker
Yeah, I was too. um I considered Doug Ford, who was the Premier of Ontario, to be a ah friend. I knew him personally before he was elected, and he always struck me as a um as a man that I could count on and respect to do the right thing and and not do the obedient thing. And he disappointed me because I think he did the obedient thing, even though he knew this was wrong. You could tell when he'd get in front of those cameras and he'd say what he said, just looking at his face is like, I don't believe I'm saying this. But he said it anyways, you you know, and that was disappointing.
00:07:01
Speaker
um And then there were your scripts they all read their scripts, but I'm not just talking about even our political leaders Nikki, although that's a great point, you know, yes a hundred percent there, but I'm also Talking about business leaders that I know, you know people that I really respect in business and I was gone Come on you guys like what's with that? But anyways In business, unfortunately, I interviewed Jennifer Say on my Thought Leader Revolution podcast. um She is the CEO of XXXY, which is a new athletic apparel brand aimed at supporting biological women. And she used to be the brand president of Levi Strauss. And she's a former admitted decidedly left of center
00:07:52
Speaker
oh person. She always voted Democrat all her life. And she had an issue with schools being shut down in San Francisco during the lockdowns and she spoke up about it publicly. And her her co-workers all the way up to the CEO of Levi Strauss said, No, no, you can't do this. You know, and they they kind of forced her out. They forced her out because she wouldn't shut up. And the first conversation I had with her, she said to me, most business leaders talk about integrity and doing the right thing and standing up for what's right. But the truth of the matter is in the corporate world, they're actually all a bunch of cowards. They won't do that. They want to protect their position first and foremost, and they will throw you to the wolves if it's expedient for them to do so. And I instantly knew that what she was saying was true.
00:08:46
Speaker
There are very few true leaders that are willing to stand up for what's right out there, very few. And um in Canada, the ah was such that there was nobody in big business that had the courage to stand up against this. All the people that did it were smaller entrepreneurs. Did you notice that as well? Yeah, a hundred percent. And a lot of that has to do with some of the bigger corps, especially in that publicly traded. I mean, they're at the effect of shareholders. There are consequences and you know those consequences are sometimes really costly and not just financially, but ah reputation, brand, all of those things. So these are big decisions and I would
00:09:40
Speaker
You know, it I don't want to live into some idealism that says, you know, you should or why didn't you? My observation is back to where we kind of started this conversation, Nikki, is that what is it meant for men and what is it meant for people in general? and What I've come to my own conclusions around all of this is that, you know, I would qualify, I guess, as a libertarian. I qualify as a capitalist. I really do want to stand for what I believe, but I'm not going to go pound a drum and try and change the world's views.
00:10:16
Speaker
So I stand for what I stand for.
Friendship Dynamics and Personal Values
00:10:20
Speaker
I am clear on my values. I know what drives me in my decision making processes. But my observation and reflection is that what it did for me and it what it did for my family, what it did for Stephanie, my wife and I, is that It kind of called the herd of friends that we had, you know, people that we were actually quite surprised by the direction they took the vilification, if you will, if that's the right word, and know you know, some of the stands that we took. Yet what it did open up was a whole new realm of
00:10:57
Speaker
connections, a whole new realm of friends, a whole new realm of community that think alike. And I went, okay, well, if that's the price I pay, I'm happy to pay that price. Do I miss some of the people that moved on because they were really great people? Yeah. But I was also really thrown off by, I mean, they, they collapsed like a cheap tent when they were tested. And in spite of knowing some of these individuals, Mickey, for 20 plus years, And having had many conversations with him about many things, I was like, holy cow, like how can you be that? like It's 180 degrees from what you actually said you stood for. As soon as they were tested, boom, done.
00:11:45
Speaker
And so I think for those ah who stood in whatever belief system they had, by the way, who were willing to take a stand, there were consequences. Some of that was a breakdown in relationships, a shift in friendships, ah business relationships. I know for me, I paid a price for it at a business level for a number of things. And because I'm a multiple business owner, I paid a price in all of them at some level. And yeah, no, it was a little painful. It hurt. It hurt financially, it hurt in terms of relationship breakdown. So, you know, it's all to say this, is that how do we face this new uncertain future? And that's really, for me, from um a men perspective, it's the willingness to take a stand and be clear on it. Not just take a stand for the sake of it, but to really know what you stand for.
00:12:37
Speaker
Amen. amen um I also think what you said about everyone on the other side collapsing like a cheap suit ah when the time came is very telling because I think we all owe a debt of gratitude to ah the truckers, the Canadian truckers of the Freedom Convoy, because they were the first ones to actually take a bold, hard stand against these guys. And many of them paid a price. They went to jail. They lost their assets. crazy It was terrible. but
00:13:13
Speaker
but The regime was rattled, and they they backed off entirely.
Global Changes and Internal Mindset
00:13:21
Speaker
They crushed these guys to a certain point, and then they backed off. Even our erstwhile prime minister, Justin Trudeau, he invoked the Emergencies Act to crush the truckers. And he thought this was it. this was the This was the big hammer he was going to use to crush out any dissent against his ah tyrannical moves. and the civil libertarians in the senate all of whom were appointed by him basically went up to him and said you're about to get voted down in the senate and this will be a non-confidence vote for your government so you're about to lose power as soon as that became clear for him it focused the mind and he backed away from everything uh you know and it just goes to show you that the way for a man to uh
00:14:12
Speaker
overcome a bully is to stand up strongly against the bully. and And I'm grateful to the truckers for doing that for us and teaching us that. Yeah, I think there's a ah fundamental around it that when you look at the power that's in play here that we think we know and we probably don't know and we don't know what we don't know and you know it's really at this point it's a lot of stuff that is just trying to dissect and figure out what's going on really but when you look at the impact of
00:14:45
Speaker
the World Economic Forum or WHO or whatever other you know governing bodies are out there that are incredibly woke and you know have this new narrative. And there's a part of it too, Nicky, is that you know there's probably a lot of good legitimate thought process to some of their initiatives, you know, in terms of what they're doing, you know, whether that be environmental or societal or whatever, there's probably some really great stuff within that and even great intention, but it's the underlying and it's the, you know, the fallout from that, you know, change is really, really difficult. And, yes you know, imagine, you know, yourself, when you look at yourself, even personally, you know, or those that you've coached and that you worked with, we realize that,
00:15:30
Speaker
We all want change, but we don't want to change or we all want change, but we don't want our circumstances to change. You know, it's really because we don't want to go through the pain. You know, ultimately with change comes that transitional period, that period of time where it's really uncomfortable. you know, yeah because you're a ah gym guy and a workout guy and you've had some really good goals. So think about that. Think about your transition is that you face the resistance called, I got to eat better. I got to work out more. I got to lift a little bit more weight. And it's in that testing is hitting that resistance and breaking through the resistance where we gain our strength. So we have this adversity. We have these, I guess we'll call it the you know, the
00:16:18
Speaker
i'm sure I've just lost a really simple word in my head, but it it really is the adversities that and the adversary that we face, right? It's those individuals, and that is the resistance. That's the test. Can we see ourselves to push through it, which will then make us stronger? What we're bumping up against is we don't know how far to push, before it collapses, it's like, okay, I've got this, you know, I'm doing this squat, I've just added 25 pounds, I'm gonna get halfway, I've got no spotter, oh my gosh, what's gonna happen if I can't bust through the resistance on the way up? It's that kind of, I don't know if that's a good metaphor, but it really, you know,
00:16:59
Speaker
That's that's how I look at it. And so right now we as men societal in general society in general is being tested and We go through this resistance through this change and I believe we come out the other side stronger for it But the transition and the discomfort and even the pain of going through the transition man. It's gonna be a big test it is and The last several years, the lockdowns and the impact of that on people's confidence on their self-concept are real. And yet those of us that are in the teaching and serving professions like you and me know that really none of that is
00:17:53
Speaker
anything that can stop you if you straighten strengthen bulletproof your mindset against circumstances and wokesters, because there's plenty of people that have prospered mightily during this time. And I don't mean just the big oligarchs. I'm talking about folks like us. And the reason they prospered is because they're not looking at the outside circumstances as the source of their success. They're looking at their own inner guidance and their own inner strength. And I think men listening to the show, especially younger men, that's a powerful point for them to realize. I'd love your your thoughts on this.
00:18:40
Speaker
Well, I think there's a couple of things that I think it's a really great point. First off, you know, we often look outside ourselves, you know, it's circumstances, it's the economy, it's the world economic forum, it's the politicians and we're always, I don't want to say always, we often look to blame, but whatever those circumstances are, we have to ask ourselves, what can we control? And all we can control is our reaction to what's going on. Now, having said that, when we look, Nikki, the reality of what you're talking about and what we've been talking about is like taking a stand, being true to yourself, honoring your values, ah being the center of your universe, facing the resistance. You know, you both you and I as coaches and ah of ah being coached all our lives,
00:19:30
Speaker
at some level by somebody. What we've come to realize is that we are mere mortals and as much as we work on our mindset, you've been doing it for years, I've been doing it for years, the real key to success is creating the environment for you to succeed.
Building Supportive Environments
00:19:46
Speaker
So I have a fundamental belief and I've not been taken off this belief. I have no reason to shift it and that is My life is a reflection of who I am. It's who I'm being. It is a reflection of the decisions I make, the decisions I don't make. It is a reflection of my mindset. So if I look at my life and I go, my life sucks.
00:20:10
Speaker
Then I have to go inside and say, OK, what do I have to do to change my life? Because then I have to look at me. Go stand in front of a mirror and go, you are responsible for your life. And I don't care if it's I'm not making enough money. I'm too fat. My relationship sucks. I've got no friends. Whatever. I hate my job. OK, great. Then it's up to you to do something about it. Now, back to my point. We are mere mortals. How do we actually create the environment for us to step up? And that is the work that you do, the work that I do, and that is bringing together a group of like-minded men to work through this shit, to have these conversations, to get outside of yourself and say, okay, I need feedback. Because if you're living in a bubble, Nick, and you know this, if we're living in a bubble, we've got no feedback. We've got no perspective other than our own.
00:21:05
Speaker
And my favorite quote, I go to it all the time. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. And we need perspective.
00:21:17
Speaker
to really, and we need perception. And we have to shift those. We have to look at the world from ah through a different lens. We have to find the lens to look through. And we can do that through some form of a structured feedback loop. And that can be certainly with other like-minded people. And that's why the Real Estate Investment Network has its community. You have your men's group. I have my men's group. We have sources in creating an environment. And that's a key to all of this.
00:21:49
Speaker
Yeah, 100% agree. Really well said. And i I think it all comes back to
Sovereignty and Independent Action
00:22:02
Speaker
sovereignty. The name of this podcast is Sovereign Man Podcast. And a man whose sovereign is a man who's able to think for himself able to decide for himself. He's physically fit and strong enough. He doesn't need the help of others. he's he He's not an emotional wreck. He doesn't need anybody. He he wants to be with people. He's financially sovereign. He's able to pay his bills. He doesn't need anybody to help him out with that. And I think a sovereign man is the only man that can be a moral man.
00:22:39
Speaker
because he's the only man who can actually do what's right regardless of what others think he should do. And a man who's not sovereign is a weak man, and he he comes from the obedience frame, which is he's going to do what he's told to do regardless of what he knows to be right or wrong. hey I think there's another side to this, too, is you know the sovereign man is not alone. The sovereign man can stand alone and is willing to. But I think there's a key here that you know in this particular world that we live in today, ah again, back to where we started this whole conversation, Nikki, is that we look at what's going on in the world today. We understand the polarity, the divisiveness. It is really clear lines drawn and driven by whatever
00:23:28
Speaker
politics are out there, whatever, you know, oligarch is out there, whatever, there's a lot of it happening. My point is this. At some point, you have to look and say, where do I see the future? Where do I see the future of the world? Where do I see my future? What is my thesis for what's going on in the world? So I look at what's going on in the world and I look at what's happening economically. I look at what's happening with business. I look at what's happening with our monetary policies, our politics. I look at where I see these initiatives going.
00:24:02
Speaker
just follow the money and to the point of many who are really paying attention, whatever the economic forum is doing, whatever wealth World Health order Organization is doing, whatever the politicians are doing, it's actually there for but public consumption if you're willing to do the work. Mainstream media isn't giving you anything. They're literally reading scripts. We know that. I read i literally watch no mainstream media. I am very, very grateful for X because there's the only place where you're not, I mean, there's lots of crap on it. I got it. But at least you're not, you know, it's not being, or we believe it's not being censored, shadow banned, et cetera. Now, having said all of that,
00:24:46
Speaker
When you create a thesis, then you have to put a plan together. Now, if you believe that the world is going to melt down that, I don't know, let's say the US will no longer be a reserve currency. If you believe that, and that's your thesis, then plan for it. Now, where are you divesting your capital? Where are you maybe investing in precious metals, a Bitcoin, real estate, ah some equity market that you see a future in? We look at the tech industry. I'm just giving examples, by the way, of saying, OK, here's my thesis. And I believe this is what's going to happen. i I believe they're really on a path of depopulization. i I really believe they're on a path of shutting down agriculture. i I believe they're on a path of limiting access to food. Whatever your story is, and there's lots of them out there, great. If that's your story, then what are you doing to plan for it? And put those things in place because a sovereign man is preparing. And whether that means that they have a store, their their capital is in a store of value, they have food on the side, they have farming on the side, whatever they're looking at, they're going, okay, you know what is and and here's how I look at that. Whatever thesis you create, here's the math.
00:26:04
Speaker
What is the downside relative to the upside? So in other words, here's how I'm planning. The upside is I survive at a reasonable level. I don't get crushed. The downside is I get crushed. So the upside far outweighs the potential downside in whatever theory I've got. So it isn't a case of going all the way and it isn't a case of going totally off the rails. Some people are going off grid, for example. yeah Look at those individuals. so you know And so they're going to be non-reliant on a lot of things. The point of all of this is that I believe that masculine part of men is that it we are driven to not just survive, but to support those around us.
Gender Roles and Societal Narratives
00:26:55
Speaker
It's our job.
00:26:57
Speaker
It's our job. And that's not to say that women don't have a job to do. They do 100%. I would not even minimize that. Having said that, as men, we need to be the leaders we are for our family, for our peers, for our businesses, whatever that may be.
00:27:19
Speaker
100%. You know, the biggest lie of the last 60 years is that men and women are exactly the same and they're interchangeable and that's insanity. um There are strengths that women have that we men ah just frankly don't have. That's a fact. And there's strengths that we men have that women don't have. That's a fact. And one of the things that the wokesters and the international left have successfully done is they've used ad hominem personal attacks against people of goodwill to shut them up because if they call you a sexist or a racist, yeah um it most most people recoil at that and they just they just don't want to be called that so they keep quiet.
00:28:03
Speaker
And that's a mistake because that's how they they win the battlefield without firing a shot. They just take over. So when someone does that, someone ever calls me a racist or a sexist, I go back at them really hard, really hard. I just look at them and say, no, I'm not. ah And i I'd say, you know, usually someone who's pointing a finger at me with an accusation has got three fingers pointing back at the real culprit. So let me ask you, how much of a racist are you really? Because obviously it lurks in your heart for you to say it so vehemently, for you to try to divert attention. They freak out at this and I don't let go. I don't let go because when someone's done that to me, i I want to make sure they know never to do it again. Not just to me, but to anybody who of goodwill that they're trying to silence. And I think it's important that we all do that. We need to like make sure that we shut those people.
00:28:55
Speaker
ah Evil tactics down so that we actually are able to speak and speak freely of the things that matter Part of what makes a man sovereign is he's able to think for himself. He goes within to look for answers He doesn't look at the the world around him and say oh my god things are going bad so I can't do anything he goes things are going good in here so I can do a lot and Point of that also means that if there's people out there that are trying to shut you up ah And they're doing it in a nefarious manner. You got to stand up against that
00:29:27
Speaker
Well, you know, there's i I've not been attacked in a really profound or in a meaningful kind of way, you know, and some would say I'm a little bit vanilla. And part of that is because some of I'm not trying to change the world in terms of, you know, you look at that kind of woke mentality as an example and they're trying to convince me that I should look at men and women differently and that I should look at, ah you know, whatever
00:30:00
Speaker
whatever description they have or how they identify. and And I'm just not interested, I don't care. Like I don't have an opinion of it. If you wanna be non-binary or ABG, LBCQ, I don't even give a shit. Like i don't I really don't care anymore. Just don't try and force it on me. Now, if somebody tries to convince me that I'm wrong, I'm not up for that debate. I go, go away. Like I have no interest in it. It's it's a waste of my energy, my time. And I just, I'm just not interested. And so that's that's how I look at it. you know For me, all I know is that whatever seven or eight billion people on this planet, they all came from the womb of a woman that was
00:30:44
Speaker
fertilized by a man. That's it. And so to me, it's that simple. And it and ah they can make it as complicated as they want. My observation is that it's politics over policy, which is always the case. And it doesn't matter whether that's in the case of ah this new pride and initiative not new this growing pride initiative, for example. I don't really have an opinion of it, but to be honest with you, I'm watching it going, holy cow, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. When you look and consider the fact that it is politics over policy,
00:31:17
Speaker
they you know that particular belief system, that cohort makes up less than you know half a percent of the population, yet they're getting all of this attention. Well, kids are struggling. Well, there's you know sex trade and sex slaves. and think ah And we look at what's happening in schools and I'm going like, it's just really profound. This is really lack of leadership politically. So I know I'm bouncing around in the whole conversation, Nicky, but you know ultimately, I stand for what I stand for. ah You know, somebody else's opinion of me is none of my business. So whatever you want to do, go ahead. I will continue to have the belief that I have when it comes to all of that. And yeah, that's it. Good for you. Good for you. um And I think what I want to say to men to kind of like land the plane and wrap this conversation up is
00:32:13
Speaker
You can still win today. You can still create the life that you've imagined.
Goal Setting and Personal Growth
00:32:18
Speaker
You got to have your goals. You got to have them be very specific and measurable and time bound and all that other good stuff. And you've got to bring your inner belief out of you to make those goals happen. And if you do that, you can have a million dollar a year business or a $10 million dollar a year business. You can take yourself from fat to fit. I mean, Patrick, you've become so much fitter in the last few years and so have I. And that's, you know, for dudes in their late fifties and early sixties like you and I, if we can do it, some 30 plus year old dude can easily do it. And that's really what I want to leave people with as we wrap this conversation up.
00:33:06
Speaker
I think there's a couple of things around that too, Nikki, and I'll just interject and give you one other food, some food for thought. Goals are great, and I'm certainly behind you in terms of thought process around goals. But you know at this point in my life, you know I'm 66 years old. i You know, mentally, I asked my mom this question. i'll I'll go off on a bit of attention. I asked my mom who's 96. I go, mom, how old are you in your mind, do you think? And my mom, by the way, is very, ah you know, cognitively, she's very strong. Like, she's sharp still. And you have to talk a little louder, but she's good. And she goes, and I said so, 96 years ago, mom, how old are you in your mind?
00:33:45
Speaker
And she goes, oh, that's a good question. I don't know. Probably 65? You know, that's how old she is in her head, right? And I look at myself at 66 years old, and I'm blessed to be surrounded by many who are ten twenty thirty years younger than me and i look at that and i go to me that is a reflection of how i show up if i can be in the same space and be appreciated and have fun with a bunch of forty year olds and thirty five year olds that's cool little bit younger than that and i lose touch because i don't know all that you know I love hanging out with young people, but you kind of lose all the stuff. But here's my point around all of this for sovereign men, is goals aside, what is the vision you have for your life and for who you are? Here's a hack that I've recently taken on, you know, within the past, let's say two or three years, it's just a slight shift. And that is, here's my hack. I look into the future and I say,
00:34:48
Speaker
Who do I want to be at 70 years old? Okay, so that's only four or five years, well, four years away now, but at the time was five years away. And I looked at people I admire. I don't know them. I know of them. i They're a public facing, and I'll give you the name. And I went, So as I started to look at people I admired, the qualities of those individuals, and I'll use Patrick Bette David as an example. yeah I went to his vault conference and was really spectacular. And I really ah have come to like Patrick Bette David, a lot of his philosophies and how he shows up, all the rest of it. You know, all of the research that I've been doing and people I stumbled across, guess who I came across and started paying attention to about three or four years ago was ah Kennedy. And I looked at RFK,
00:35:36
Speaker
And. I went, you know something? Look at this guy, 68 years old. He's crushing pull-ups, crushing push-ups. He's physically fit. He's well-spoken. He's still living a pretty grand life in terms of his inspiration to achieve. And I went, okay, there's somebody I can model myself after. And I go, okay, if I want to be that guy at 70 years old, I need to start now. So for me, the hack is this.
00:36:07
Speaker
If I take on that identity, so it's not about, you know, you've heard the phrase many times, it's not the goal, it's who you have to become to achieve the goal. yeah I shifted a little bit in saying it's not the vision, it's who you have to become to achieve the vision. So I'm choosing to be that and implement that person every day. So when I look at, and I'm being, you know, bumping up against, it I don't feel like working out. You know, I don't feel like doing something. I don't want to get uncomfortable on the stage and talk about this. I go, what would Kennedy do? That's my hack. And I go, he'd monitor, he'd stay on his diet. He'd stay on his working out. He'd take that stage presence. He'd take that interview. He would voice his view of the world.
00:36:56
Speaker
You follow so for me it is about who I am who I am being Living into my future self my future vision for my life the impact I want to have on the world I Like this hack it's a really good hack and There's a few people that I admire and two of them. I know really well and one of them. I don't one of them's my my health and fitness coach, she's named to Amr. So what would Amr do is a good question for me to ask when I'm around, uh, resistance cropping up in my head and telling me to stop. And then when it comes to business and sales, uh, Mark, my coach, Mark von Muscher, what would he do? That's a good one because he just doubled down and go after it. And then,
00:37:51
Speaker
when looking to create a bigger life with a bigger impact. the fellow I admire is Elon Musk. So I'd ask myself, what would Elon do? Because Elon leans in to doing more cool things than pretty much anybody
Embodying Admirable Qualities
00:38:07
Speaker
I know in business. I mean, look at how many companies this man is running. And he's not just running them, but he's running them well. So those are three good people for me to implement into my hack. So I thank you for that, Patrick. That's great.
00:38:23
Speaker
one kind of leveled down from that. So perfect. Now take those three individuals. And it's important that you do this, okay? Because you look at who they are and who you think they stand for and all the rest of it. Number one, it's just a story you're telling yourself. You know, you know some of your guys really, but it doesn't matter. It's your view. What are the qualities of that individual that you admire? Write them down. What are the qualities that you admire? Again, they don't eat you don't know that they're true, but it's the qualities that you see in them that you admire.
00:38:59
Speaker
and take and write down 10 or 20 of those qualities. Now, it's a little bit of a trick. I do this as a part of my coaching, by the way. I give these guys this kind of, I give my guys this kind of a an assignment, okay? It'll take you 15 or 20 minutes to do it, Nicky. And then you write that down. You'd be as articulate as you can in terms of these are the qualities that I admire. Then you go through that list and you write in front of each of those qualities, I am. Because that just became your new to-do list.
00:39:37
Speaker
and you write it as in, I am that quality. So that this isn't future state. This is, I step into this and I look at this list and I go, where am I being that quality of that person that I so admire? I do it in a way that's a little bit of a trick question. I go, okay, write that out loud. You got that? They go, yeah. I go, okay, great. That's your to-do list. Now write, I am in front of everything. No, that's good. I like it. I like it a lot. It's a fun it's a fun one to do. and and i check And I have to keep myself in check all the time, right?
00:40:14
Speaker
Patrick. progress work in progress buddy Work in progress. Absolutely. Patrick, great conversation. I think the folks that are listening to this podcast are going to learn a lot. They're going to think deeply. That's one of the things I enjoy about our conversations is you you always um talk about subjects that you've thought about deeply. and By speaking about them in a way that demonstrates you've thought about them deeply, You force me to think about them deeply ah in the moment and later on and I believe You force the listener to think about These topics deeply I hope so and why I think it's valuable to have a conversation with you Patrick fancy is because
00:41:05
Speaker
It's not a bubble gum conversation. There's a lot of people you know you and I've talked about thought leadership before. And you know that thought leadership is one of the things that I, I i teach I teach commercial thought leadership. and A lot of people who talk about thought leadership in 2024 say, well, thought leadership means you post a bunch of stuff on social media, you shoot a bunch of little videos out there, and that's it. That means you're a thought leader. And I'm like, no, it doesn't. Absolutely not. Thought leadership is not about the breadth of your ability to broadcast. Thought leadership comes from having actually thought about a subject.
00:41:46
Speaker
deeply enough that you have something interesting and valuable to say to people. And by that definition, you definitely are a thought leader. Now, the second part of it, commercializing it, is publishing it out there and and whatnot. But without both sides of the equation being there, it's not really thought leadership. It's not really something that's worth listening to for most people. And um I vote that me saying this is important to people that are listening because if they're a businessman or and and they're looking to um looking to understand how thought leadership can be valuable to them, it's important for them to bring their best, most deeply thought out ah wisdom
00:42:33
Speaker
to the table and not just some bullshit bubble gum thoughts that really don't make a difference for anybody. And I'll give you the last word. I think there's a couple things there that's really interesting. So my podcast, the Everyday Millionaire, I've been running for eight years, as you know, you've been on the show and I've had many, many amazing, like absolutely crazy, cool guys, people, women too, on the show. yeah And, you know, there's a phrase that I like to use, which is that confidence is rarely owned, it's most often borrowed.
00:43:08
Speaker
And at this point in my life at 66 years old, I can reflect and go, oh, you know, you can't help but gain some wisdom just being on this planet as long as I have. Not that I'm old. I don't consider myself old. But listen, I've been in business 40 years. You know, I've learned a lot of things. And what's interesting about the quote that I'm sharing where confidence is rarely owned. It's almost always borrowed. Where do we borrow it from? Well, we borrow it from friends. We borrow it from peers. We borrow it from family. we you know you you You may say to me, I phone Nicky. I go, Nicky, I got this thing going on. I don't know what to do. And you look at me, you go, PF, you've got this, buddy. I know you. You've got this. And you could just be pumping my tires. But mentally, I go, OK, somebody believes in me. And I go and I do it. That's the power of borrowing confidence. Now, having said that, it takes courage to do all of that.
00:43:59
Speaker
back to the podcast in literally having conversations with now hundreds of everyday millionaires. What I've learned in these conversation is that my thought process, my philosophies, the opinions that I've formed get validated by those who are very successful as well. And I don't mean just successful in terms of monetary at all. That's like the last thing on the list. Great definition of success for me was, are you this was somebody who gave me this, by the way, one of my guests. I very rarely ask, well how do you define success? But for some reason, I felt compelled to ask this guest that, and his answer was this. If I'm living into the vision for my life and I wake up and I'm going, this is the vision for my life, whatever that vision is,
00:44:52
Speaker
I'm feeling very successful. I would qualify myself as saying I'm successful, whatever your vision is. So what I've learned and what I've come to understand is that with this many years in business, with this many years on the planet, with the nature of who I am, I am validated by many. And so that's where I gained my confidence from. So I don't know if that's helpful, but you know for men listening to this, Where are you getting your confidence from? Where are you standing on the shoulders of those who've gone before you? Where are you tapping into the wisdom of others? And I think those are things that help support a vision, even define and determine your vision.
00:45:39
Speaker
Amen. Amen. Everyone needs someone to believe in them. That's one of the things that I ah talk about in the work I do with clients every day. yeah Everybody needs someone to believe in them. And that ties in very nicely to what you said, confidence is rarely owned, but it's almost always borrowed. And the reason for that is because we all have moments where our self-belief wobbles and we need someone to remind us who we really we are. And on that note, that's a wrap. Thank you for listening to The Sovereign Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life and become the man you've always wanted to be, we invite you to join the movement at sovereignman.ca.