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00:00:01
EP164: Roman Bodnarchuck - Why Men Crave Masculine Only Spaces
76 Plays14 days ago
Are you feeling like something is missing in your life? Do you crave a deeper sense of connection and purpose, especially as a man navigating today’s world? You’re not alone—many men are struggling with these same feelings, searching for answers in the wrong places. Meaningful connections with other successful men can elevate your life, pushing you to constantly strive for more—not just for yourself, but for your family and loved ones.
Men today face significant struggles, especially in the business world, where many feel something is missing. This isn’t about a quick fix, but a call to rediscover the timeless truths of brotherhood, accountability, and personal growth. Meaningful relationships with other men are essential for men to thrive and find true fulfillment, away from the distractions of social media and modern consumerism.
Roman Bodnarchuk has experienced the transformative power of being surrounded by the right group of men. From attending life-changing seminars at a young age to building a multi-million-dollar business, he understands the importance of surrounding yourself with successful men, holding each other accountable, and continually striving for self-improvement.
Sociable Living: https://sociableliving.com/about/
The Property Show: https://www.thepropertyshow.ca/roman-bodnarchuk
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/romanbodnarchuk/?originalSubdomain=ca
You’re invited to come to a Sovereign Circle meeting to experience it for yourself. To learn more, go to https://www.sovereignman.ca/. While you’re there, check out the Battle Ready program and check out the store for Sovereign Man t-shirts, hats, and books.
Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
And what I can tell you is sometimes the answers are out there, but we need to go find them. And there are some incredible men that have the information that we need. Men are seekers. The answers that they seek are found through relationship, connecting with other men. The world is changing faster than we've ever seen and and there's going to be winners and losers. There'll be a lot of losers. So if there's ever been a time that men need to to find successful men and band together and work together, this is it.
00:00:33
Speaker
You're a man living in the modern world in a time when men and manhood are not what they once were. You live life on your own terms. You're self-sufficient. You think for yourself and you march to the beat of your own drum. When life knocks you down, you get back up because in your gut, you know that's what men do. You're a badass and a warrior. And on the days when you forget, we are here to remind you who you really are.
00:01:04
Speaker
Welcome to Sovereign Man podcast, where we aim to make men masculine again. I'm your man, Nicky Baloo, and we have a very special guest here for you today, Roman Bodnerchuk. Welcome, Roman. Thank you so much, Nicky. It's an honor to be on your show. It's just a privilege. and And hey, I love the new haircut. You're looking yeahre always looking sharp. God bless you, brother. Thank you so much. So Roman, you and I,
00:01:31
Speaker
We've been friends a long time and we we have been talking about an issue that is near and dear to both our hearts because we we both believe that for men that are in business today, things are more challenging than they've ever been certainly in our lifetime. And men need crave, want to be a part of something. And I'm wondering if you could get the ball rolling on why you believe that is and what we propose to do about that from it.
00:02:17
Speaker
Well, I'd like to take you back, you know, and some life changing things that happened for me. You know, one of your good friends and one of my mentors, Raymond Aaron, did a seminar. um I was 14 years old, I saw his big Toronto Star um ad for it. And I remember telling my parents, hey, I'm going to pay a few hundred dollars to go this seminar. And they said, you know you're 14. I don't think it's for you. And I said, well, I don't know. like Let me try. And I learned i learned some some lessons in that in that course that I literally use today. ah This is 40 years later.
00:02:51
Speaker
And what I can tell you is sometimes the answers are out there, but we need to go find them. And there are some incredible men, like like Raymond Aaron, as an example, that um have have the information that we need. And I think that men need to go and search ah for that information. And I don't think it's necessarily on TikTok or Instagram or just scrolling. um It's in a book. It's in a seminar. And it takes more than two minutes to digest. Again, this is not a TikTok video.
00:03:19
Speaker
But the the answers are there. You know, if you go back to think and grow rich and we talked about the mastermind, I mean, this is these are lessons that we've learned over over 10,000 years of human history that was recorded. So I believe that men need to search for the answer. And it's usually groups of other men that have already achieved what they want to achieve. You know, Roman. I think you said a number of things that are worth unpacking. You said, first of all, that Men are seekers. Men go through life wanting to find their place in the world. They want to answer the question to their own satisfaction, am I enough? Am I good enough? Do I have what it takes to be a ah person of importance and significance in the world? do i do i Do I make enough money? Do I help enough people? These are questions that consciously or unconsciously all men are asking of themselves.
00:04:15
Speaker
and they are seeking answers and those answers are there and those answers cannot be boiled down to a 30-second to two-minute soundbite in a TikTok video or in a YouTube short or in a Facebook or Instagram reel. Those things are can be can be interesting and fun, but they do not hold the keys to the answers to the questions of life that most men want answers to. The answers that they seek are found through relationship.
00:04:54
Speaker
are found through connecting with other men. And you know, up until the 60s, men throughout history had been a part of groups of other men. There were rites of passage that we would engage in, you know, and be part of these groups of other men. But after the the feminist revolution in the 60s,
00:05:16
Speaker
men slowly but surely stop being a part of these groups the way that they had been for all this time. And what this has done is it's made a lot of men feel a little bit lost. Even those that on the surface look very successful and make a lot of money, they almost crave in their heart, in their soul, being in a masculine only space with other men. Why do you believe that's important to us men without many of us even being able to articulate that part first?
00:05:48
Speaker
It's super important. niki It took me a long time to figure this out. It wasn't until after I got divorced till I really understood it. So if you if you ah scan a human brain, if you scan a woman's brain and a man's brain, they are so radically different. I mean, a woman's brain looks like like some fireworks went off and and a man's brain is is quite simplistic. We are very, very different. And men like us, you know we're we're we're you know alpha males. you know we are We're hunters and killers. like That's what we're really good at.
00:06:16
Speaker
Women can do a lot of amazing things, but we're very different. So I'm going to give you an example. When women need help, they are very good at speaking to other women and they like to talk about their issues. They just like to talk about it and make them feel better. They have to go to therapy therapists.
00:06:31
Speaker
Men don't really find that super effective. ah Men want to air the problem, cure the solution, and go execute. They don't want to just go every week and just talk about the same problem over and over again. So it's very different. And not that one is right, one is wrong, but we are hardwired very differently.
00:06:49
Speaker
And so, for example, if I'm trying to get help and I join a group that has women in it, it's going to be it's going to be very difficult for me to get the value that I would if it's a men of a group just full of men, because we're on we're on the same frequency. That's that's real that's what I believe is the difference. so I think that's very true. The other thing is that, you know, because over the last 50, 60 years, men have not been part of these groups, but women have.
00:07:18
Speaker
and women naturally innately are better at relationship than we are. They're relationship ninjas, we're relationship kindergartners. That's the truth, right? that's the That's the literal truth of it. Men don't understand the value of this, but they innately, almost inarticulately, are searching for that value. And when they do find a masculine-only space,
00:07:47
Speaker
they feel like they've arrived, they've come home and and they they tend to gravitate to at that to that very strongly because it's a place where they can really let their hair down and it's a place where they can speak in a way that, let's face it, speaking that way in mixed company just wouldn't fly. you know There's certain things you can say to your men that if you said that to your to your wife or to your girlfriend or to your mother, it just wouldn't fly.
00:08:13
Speaker
You know, and it's very important to have those spaces. I hate this word safe spaces. I don't like using it, but you need to have masculine spaces where these types of confidential conversations can take place.
00:08:28
Speaker
Let me give you an example of where I learned this. And I think in a seminar that you went to also, I went maybe 10 years ago, the Sterling seminar as a men's seminar. And I was trying to analyze, how did I create this massive failure in my life? I've been so successful in all these areas, but how did I screw up my marriage? How did I blow the most important one?
00:08:50
Speaker
um But I learned a lot. So one of the things I learned is is when men share bad news, things that are not, you know, really not good ah with their spouse or partner, their spouse, you know, a again, this is all about DNA. So this is back to like, we are we are still hardwired for our DNA from the cavemen. So if I tell my wife all kinds of like negative, scary things are going on in our business, she's hardwired to start going, hmm, this man maybe can't be the provider anymore.
00:09:19
Speaker
yeah mean she This is subconscious. She doesn't even know this is happening. But then she's going to start looking at other men as a potential provider. And she doesn't even know this is happening. So you know these are all kinds of things that that I didn't know. No one taught me this, Nikki, like at school. like no Nobody teaches you this stuff. So unfortunately a lot of men and and you know, the stats are incredibly high Well over 50% and when you get into that to the one percenters the high income ones, it's much much higher um You know, they're getting divorced It's because no one taught them this stuff and I'd wish somebody had told me to go to the men's Weekend before I got divorced because I promised you Nikki. I it would not have happened.
00:10:00
Speaker
It would not have happened. If I had done the if i had done the seminars, if I had done ah the learning ah while I was married, I'm telling you life would be different. So I think it's really important. So if you think you're in a happi in ah in a great relationship and you're a great place, you still need to to do the learning. Because again, I go through this all the time where friends reach out to me and they said, you're not going to believe it, but my wife is leaving me.
00:10:24
Speaker
And I mean, this happens every day. and And I think that men can prevent a lot of this pain because what it does to the kids is is horrific. um So I think these things are all preventable, just like health. I mean, you know, speaking to a ah really successful friend of mine yesterday, he's i mean talk about hitting all his goals. Unbelievable.
00:10:44
Speaker
But I'm i'm you know just finding out what its challenges are, and it's challenges sleep. And I'm like, you know I'm not going to mention his name, but I'm like, this is the the big one. like If we don't figure out the sleep thing, this is like like this is a serious one. So again, a lot of times when you go to your doctor, for example, they don't say, hey, you know how ah how much are you really sleeping? They don't talk about some of the really important things when it comes to health or relationships. So I think this is what happens naturally in a men's group.
00:11:10
Speaker
But you've got to find the right men, ah successful men, men that live by their word, that are that are working hard, that are thinking big. And that's a big one because I find, especially once men hit 40, 40 plus,
00:11:25
Speaker
A lot of them give up on their dreams, Nicky. You've seen this. They they give up on on on a lot of things and and they just become content. And then what happens? is They get fat and theyre they're replacing food and alcohol and drugs ah for for for the for the happiness they could have had. So it's really important we pick the right men to hang out with. You know, that's a very good point. And I want to unpack a bit of what you were saying.
00:11:51
Speaker
Yes, it's important to do a program at Disturling Men's Weekend and you and I are sending some men to the next one coming up because it's a very powerful program and it's going to give men the tools that they need. But if they do the program and they don't stay in relationship with men,
00:12:07
Speaker
After the program, that's a problem because not being in relationship means that all the things that you learned you're going to forget. That stuff stays alive when you're with other men that are also practicing and living according to those precepts and you hold one another accountable because you're not going to hold yourself accountable. Let's be honest.
00:12:28
Speaker
At our core, as men, we're lazy. That's our core. Left to our own devices, we're not gonna step out of our comfort zone. We're gonna do the things that are comfortable, that are fun, that are easy, but aren't necessarily good for us. But when you're in a group of men,
00:12:43
Speaker
and you try to pull that crap, they're gonna call your ass out. They're gonna go, yo, Roman, what's up with that? You say you wanna get fit, but you're drinking like four drinks a day, that's not gonna fly. Are you full of crap about wanting to get fit? Or are you just you know unwilling to do the work? Are you lazy and you don't wanna put in the disciplines necessary? That's the sort of thing they're gonna say. They go, Nikki, yo, you say you wanna get rich, but you know, every night you're on TikTok, what's up with that, dude?
00:13:12
Speaker
You should be out there making your own content and putting that on TikTok, not watching other people's stuff. And, you know, are you serious about it or are you going to sit down here and just while your time away? This is the sort of thing that other men will tell you when you're in a trusted circle with other men. And this is the sort of thing that you won't be able to get away with. And that's the beauty of being in a men's group, because you will not get away with anything, anything.
00:13:43
Speaker
You're 100% right. And I think it's actually worse now than ever because we're so distracted. If you take a look at the screen time of any of our phones and our kids' phones, we're talking about four hours, five hours, six hours of just needless, regrettable time scrolling nonsense.
00:14:03
Speaker
So when people think, oh, I don't have time for that, are you kidding me? Let's look at your screen time. Number two, you know, this generation, um unfortunately, our new God is is the God of comfort. You know, we've replaced, you know, church and synagogue, and we've replaced, you know, any kind of formal religion with this God of of comfort and consumerism and just buying more crap.
00:14:27
Speaker
And this is a serious problem. So we live in an age where we're massively distracted, like massively distracted, where people can't even read an article, never mind a book.
00:14:38
Speaker
where they can't even watch a 30-minute video. I mean, if it's less than if it's you know less more than two minutes, they just they can't handle it. Like, it's just incredible. Nikki, people can't even watch a movie anymore without having another screen, like they did this two two-s-screen phenomenon where they they can't really watch something anymore. They've got to have another screen. Like, this is the ultimate this what they call popcorn brain. um So we're living in a time that it's very, very difficult, but it's going to get worse, Nikki. In the next two years,
00:15:08
Speaker
if you If you don't think we've changed enough, just get ready. But you're going to have robots literally replacing most humans. I mean, the Tesla robot, which will which will be smarter than any human within two years, that's coming out. Nikki, this thing is is going to be around $30,000. This is a robot that can work 24-7, around the clock, no unions, no you know fighting for minimum wage, no benefits you've got to give the robot. And this thing will be smarter than any human. This is what we're up against, OK?
00:15:38
Speaker
we're We're in the race for our lives right now. AI already is smarter than the smartest high school kid with the next three months in version five of chat GPT. It'll be smarter than any PhD. And now they've got these these AI agents where literally it's like having entire staff like this agent does this. this like We're living in a time that's just, will be unrecognizable in two years. So if men don't get their shit together and get in the best health of their life, get a core group of men, they're going to push them. And what's really sad for me, I know a lot of really smart, successful men, and I talk about, hey, are you using chat GBT?
00:16:17
Speaker
No, I don't think I need it. And I'm like, oh my gosh, that's like going, that's like, you know, like electricity's invented. Yeah, I'm i'm just gonna stick to candles. That's like guys going, yeah, I don't wanna use the internet. You're like, I'm not gonna use a smartphone. Like, are you kidding me? So the world is changing faster than we've ever seen. And and there's gonna be winners and losers. There'll be a lot of losers. So if there's ever been a time that men need to to find successful men and band together and work together, this is it. percent hundred percent of What you're saying about AI is honestly terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. It's terrifying because the world that we know
00:17:02
Speaker
is going to disappear and there's going to be a whole new world coming in. But that's also exhilarating because the world that we know is disappearing and there's going to be a whole new world coming in, that which means we can recreate ourselves and recreate what we want out of this world and amazing things can happen. But that mentality is only going to be reinforced. If you're around a group of men, they're going to help you reinforce it. And I got to say this.
00:17:28
Speaker
you know You know, I run a men's ah organization and it's not necessarily primarily a business organization, but I believe very strongly that there is a missing in the marketplace and that missing is a peer group for entrepreneurs that's only for men.
00:17:50
Speaker
only for men. And the reason you and I are having this conversation today is because we see that missing and we want to do something about it. So Roman, without letting the cat fully out of the bag, why don't you tell the folks you know what we have in mind and why they might want to seriously consider this?
00:18:12
Speaker
Nick, I told you when I was 14 years old, I took tony ro i took sorry i started with with Raymond Aaron's courses. By the age of 18, I had ah got to Tony Robbins. He had a course I started taking. and Around 21, 22, I invested. Are you ready for this? so If you could think back, like this is this is over 35 years ago. ah It was $14,000 US. so I don't know what that would be in today's dollars, $30,000. On a 14-day program in Hawaii,
00:18:42
Speaker
And that program, that 14 days of very intense work with Tony Robbins, it was super hard, and I was obviously very young, um made me so powerful because you know your income can only go as high as your personal development. So it probably you know sped me up a few decades. um I was able to become a millionaire before 30 and got to a million dollars a year at 35. All of that happened because I got the right i got into the right groups.
00:19:12
Speaker
And then when I built my company, N5R, the global company, you know, we're one of the fastest growing companies in the world, and we started we started we started expanding. But I didn't stop. I didn't stop with Tony Robbins or I kept joining groups. So I was a member of a group called Tech. In the US, s they called Vistage. We met with very successful entrepreneurs, you know, every month. For years, I did that in when I lived in Canada and the States. Then I joined for years, ah called Strategic Coach, an amazing program in Toronto, ran by dan Dan Sullivan. And all of these things help kept building and building. And all that information and the people I met, the friends I've made, the friends I still have today are because of that. The challenges after COVID I found is those um larger groups like YPO, a lot of my friends aren't on YPO. I mean, there's some great organizations. But what happened, what I noticed and my friends told me during COVID is they became very woke. And I think anytime you have men and women in the same group,
00:20:10
Speaker
There are certain things you can't say, you can't say that you can't post this, and it's very it's very diluting. Nikki, if I'm training for the Olympics, if we're training for the Olympics, we're going all in. We're not diluting the message. You're not like, oh, it's okay, Roman. You you can have snacks every other day, or or it's okay, Roman. you you can have a cheat you know You can have a cheat meal. like No, no. If we're training for the Olympics,
00:20:35
Speaker
there's There's only one way to win. And what I find with these groups that, again, I was a proud member of for many, many years and a lot of my friends still are, they're so diluted now with all this woke nonsense that it's very hard to to get the value out of them and to become super successful.
00:20:52
Speaker
So the reason you know I reached out to you, and and we've been talking about this for a while, is what if we could create a mastermind that was really, this is for the elite of the elite. This is not for everybody. It's obviously it's for like the guys that have already made it. They're already successful.
00:21:07
Speaker
But maybe they've hit midlife, you know, I don't know if it's 40s or 50s or wherever it was in midlife, and they've kind of lost their energy, or maybe it's their health, or maybe it's something where, because I'll tell you, it does happen, and Nicky, maybe you faced it too, you're not as ambitious, as driven at 45 or 55 as you were maybe 25, especially if you're like living in your, if you're already living your dreams, it's hard to keep that motivation.
00:21:32
Speaker
So sometimes you need to meet with guys that are have actually achieved more than you. Men that have have broken through things that you'd love to break through. So you need to to be inspired. And the problem with our friends, Nicky, and I've got friends who go back from grade two, is when I'm hanging out with my friends, it's like I can finish their sentences. It's like me talking to myself. I already know what they're going to say.
00:21:52
Speaker
I need to meet new men that are very successful in different industries. So yeah, so we're we're we're creating something really, really special. It's for really the high achievers. It's for the elite of the elite. um And the reason I want to do this, Nikki, is I did something for fun for 15 of my friends this year. We call it the 75-day challenge. And and I decided I want to get in the best shape of my life. And I thought if I'm going to go through this pain and suffering, I want to bring 15 of my friends through it as well.
00:22:18
Speaker
So I created a program every day for 35 days, a little video that to watch. And we had we're on a WhatsApp group and we called each other and we held each other accountable. But Nikki, it was life changing, like the stories like I'm not talking just health, like health. Like, well, you know, our friend Mark Oregon, which does my what does our podcast? I mean, the guys got abs. like could You know, hard is to get abs. Like it's eight times easier to become a millionaire than to get abs. You know, and you're one of you're one of those guys.
00:22:45
Speaker
So we're talking about life changing things that happen in people's relationships and their business all because of a 75 day challenge. So when I talked to you about this, I said, Nikki, can you imagine if we got the right group of men and they could commit to a year for it with us? Oh my gosh, it would be unstoppable. And because i i've been ah I've had the privilege of working now with five startups and we've reached either a billion in revenue or a billion dollars in valuation, I know it's possible. I know the craziest dreams can come true.
00:23:12
Speaker
but it takes an intense focus and a group of ah group of men working together and and pushing each other and and not lying to each other and really being honest and taken off the mask. And that's what it takes. So yeah, I'm really excited about what we're creating.
00:23:28
Speaker
Yeah, I think what you said needs some unpacking before we wrap this up. Intense focus, that's very important. You need to be pushing each other, right? So there's a word that a friend of mine ah who was a tech chair used called care frontation.
00:23:49
Speaker
and I love that word. right Care, frontation. so you You care about the man, but you're going to get in his face about the stuff that he's doing. and um you're going to You're going to be with men that want to keep growing. Roman, I live by a philosophy in my life. I believe God put me here, obviously to live, but He also put me here to love. He put me here to love people and to share my heart and my love with people. He put me here to to learn. He put me here to learn. He put me here to grow. He put me here to contribute.
00:24:30
Speaker
you know And if you think about this, you live, you love, you you learn, you grow, you contribute. Any man that agrees with me that this is a good way to live is going to benefit from being in a group with other men. And you and I are doing some mastermind dinners. And I know that's a phrase that Jason Gaynard originally coined back in the day. And he's got ah he's got a ah ah book, I think, called Mastermind Dinners or Mastermind Talks. And to me, these mastermind dinners are an opportunity for you to meet a bunch of other men, non-woke,
00:25:13
Speaker
who are motivated to to grow and to succeed and they're already successful. And when you come to these dinners, you're going to have an opportunity to see if this is a challenge you want to take on at this stage in your life. And if you're listening to this and it's sparking an interest in you to do something like this, then Reach out to me, reach out to Roman. I'm gonna put his contact info in the show notes. My contact info is in the show notes. You can book a call with me using the eCircleAcademy.com forward slash appointment link. We can have a chat. And if you live in Toronto, we can meet in person. If you don't live in Toronto, we can at least have a Zoom chat and help you see what all men are craving, all men.
00:26:03
Speaker
which is a powerful, masculine-only space where you can truly be yourself and you can dream and think as big as you want. And not only is nobody gonna ah make fun of you for that, but they're gonna encourage you and tell you to dream even bigger. And I'll give you the last word, Roman.
00:26:22
Speaker
Nikki, I think it's it's important for men to do this, not just for themselves, but for their families, the people they love. I can just tell you, in my 75-day challenge, which I just thought I was doing for myself and my my buddies, here's what happened, Nikki. My parents, which are in their 70s, started watching what was happening. And my mom had been overweight her entire life. like I don't remember a time where my mom wasn't wasn't overweight.
00:26:46
Speaker
All of a sudden, in her 70s, decides, makes a decision to lose weight. My mom has never looked better. I've got pictures back 25 years ago. like She's never looked better. My father, which has never lifted a weight in his life, is I've got my my parents going to the gym three days a week. I have two sons that were not athletic, never never went to a gym.
00:27:09
Speaker
Each one now, I mean, one every morning at five in the morning, cars like dad, cu can we go at five in the morning and go play basketball for two hours. The other one, he just joined another, I mean, the this has been life changing. So I think as men, as fathers, as as as sons, um this is our duty to to help not just ourselves, but inspire the people around us. Because believe me, Nikki, they're watching us. They're watching us.
00:27:33
Speaker
and they're and and and When we make a change and when they can see we can make a profound change, we inspire so many people. And I think that's our duty. So anyways, I really appreciate this opportunity speaking to you, Nikki. And I hope some people can join us that are the right people because obviously we want the right people to join us on one of the upcoming dinners.
00:27:55
Speaker
Yeah, listen, if you're interested in joining the dinner, here's here's what you need to be in order for you to qualify. So you need to be a multimillionaire businessman. non-woke. You need to be motivated to grow. And you need to be open to learning and to growing, i.e.
00:28:15
Speaker
your your desire to learn ah is stronger than your ego's desire to be right. So if that's you, then you can come join us at a mastermind dinner. And the dinners are fabulous sumptuous affairs that Roman and I are funding. It's not like you even have to pay to come for dinner. You're going to come, you're going to have a fantastic meal, you're going to be around a bunch of phenomenal men, and and it's going to cost you nothing. so If that's something that's of interest to you, reach out to either Roman or myself. ah We'll have a chat with you. And if we feel you qualify, we're going to issue an invitation to you. But even if right now this concept is something you think is interesting, but you're not ready to pull the trigger, I want you to remember that you are a man. And inside of you is a warrior and a badass.
00:29:09
Speaker
And you do crave masculine only spaces. So go find one. You need a masculine only space. Every man needs it. And that's a wrap. Awesome. Thank you Nick.
00:29:28
Speaker
Thank you for listening to The Sovereign Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life and become the man you've always wanted to be, we invite you to join the movement at sovereignman.ca.