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What Happens When God Doesn’t Intervene with Davey Blackburn
176 Plays8 months ago
What do you do when your worst nightmare becomes reality—and God doesn’t step in the way you hoped?
In this episode of the Shameless Podcast, Ken Freire sits down with Davey Blackburn, founder of Nothing Is Wasted Ministries, to talk about grief, suffering, and how to find purpose when life feels shattered. Davey shares the heart-wrenching story of losing his pregnant wife, Amanda, to a random act of violence, and how God met him in the valley of grief, shame, and unanswered questions.
This conversation goes deep—fast. Together, Ken and Davey wrestle with hard questions men often face in silence:
- Why does God allow tragedy when we’re following His will?
- How do you process the endless what ifs that fuel guilt and shame?
- Where is God when the suffering feels unbearable?
- What does it look like to move from pain to purpose?
- How do we respond with faith when tragedy strikes the people we look up to—like the recent assassination of Charlie Kirk?
Davey’s story is not just about loss—it’s about the resilience God builds through suffering, the healing found in community, and the call to step back into mission even when it hurts.
If you’ve ever felt abandoned by God or struggled to believe He’s still good in the face of suffering, this episode will give you hope and perspective.
Memorable Quotes
“God’s answer to suffering isn’t an explanation—it’s incarnation.” – Davey Blackburn“We don’t just need answers; we need a Person. And that Person is Jesus.” – Ken Freire
Resources Mentioned
- Nothing Is Wasted Ministries
- Nothing Is Wasted Podcast
- Pain to Purpose Course
Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction to Davey Blackburn
01:20 – The tragic day that changed everything
06:40 – Wrestling with guilt, shame, and the “what ifs”
13:30 – Learning to see God’s providence in the details
19:00 – Asking the better question: “Where were You, God?”
25:00 – Moving from pain to purpose
31:00 – Launching Nothing Is Wasted
37:00 – Responding to cultural tragedy with compassion and truth
44:00 – Choosing restoration over revenge
49:00 – Practical encouragement for men walking through suffering
51:30 – How to connect with Davey and Nothing Is Wasted
Connect with Davey
👉 Website: nothingiswasted.com
👉 Podcast: Nothing Is Wasted Podcast
👉 Coaching & Courses: Pain to Purpose
Recommended
Transcript
Intro
00:00:30
Ken Freire
Welcome to another episode of the Shameless Podcast. Today, i am super excited for our guest. This is Davey Blackburn. He's the founder of Nothing Is Wasted. He's a husband and father and someone who has walked through tragedy and still lives on mission. Today's topic of what we're going talk about is what happens when God doesn't intervene.
00:00:54
Ken Freire
And for some of you, you may have faced your worst fear. And this is what we're going talk about. Davey faced one of his worst fears. And not only did it leave him with grief and shame and doubt, but sometimes you may feel silent in what happened. So Davey, thank you, man, so much for coming on this podcast, man. Appreciate it.
00:01:11
Davey
Yeah, Ken, thanks so much. This is such an honor to to meet you and to be a part of this and really encourage your community.
00:01:18
Ken Freire
Yeah, absolutely, man. And Davey, you know, we were talking beforehand. So there's going to lot of ah depth in this conversation. We're going to deep really fast. So I'm just preparing those who are listening to this
00:01:26
Davey
Yeah. Yeah.
00:01:28
Ken Freire
Like we're going to deep, but hopefully it's going to be fruit fruitful. As we jump in, I'm just going to give a little context to what we're talking about. And I want you to elaborate a little bit more.
00:01:39
Davey
Yeah.
00:01:39
Ken Freire
ah Davey, your your story for a lot of men, this is worst case scenario, right? You had a wife and I believe she was pregnant, right?
00:01:45
Davey
Right.
00:01:47
Ken Freire
At the time, um pregnant with her second and um she she gets murdered.
00:01:47
Davey
Right. She was pregnant or second. ye Yeah.
00:01:55
Ken Freire
And this is worst case scenario for a lot of people. Walk us through that day, what happened, what's going on, and and we'll start unpacking it from there.
00:02:00
Davey
Yeah. Yeah. At the time we were pastors, church planters and in Indianapolis, Indiana. And we had 15 month old and we were 13 weeks along with our second pastor.
00:02:13
Davey
And we had just kind of come into the fall season of church where it was probably the first fall that our church was experiencing some momentum. You know, when you church plant, you kind of wonder every single day, is this thing actually going to take or is it going to fizzle out?
00:02:24
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:02:24
Davey
And so we had put a whole lot of just, you know, sweat and tears and equity into this church. And finally, i remember Amanda looking at me actually a couple of days before she passed away and saying, Davey, our dreams are coming true. Like we're finally seeing this. the work of our hands come to fruition.
00:02:44
Davey
And that was like on a Sunday that she said that to me on that Tuesday, November 10th, I left to go to the gym early in the morning. It was a normal routine for me on Tuesday mornings to leave early to go to the gym and then go to the coffee shop and write.
00:02:58
Davey
This time I forgot to pack my bag to go to the coffee shop to shower at the gym. And so I went back home and walked into what you described it. My greatest in what everybody would probably describe as their worst nightmare.
00:03:10
Davey
um While I was away at the gym, there were three men who were on a random crime spree through Indianapolis. They made their way from the east part of town to the west part of town where we lived. They broke into the home three doors down from us and they were in the garage. They pulled a stolen car in the garage of that home they broken into and they were loading up stolen goods when they saw me leave for the gym.
00:03:30
Davey
so they decided to take that opportunity to break into our home too. And Amanda got caught up in that and she was shot three times. And when I came home, i i found her on our living room floor. She was still breathing, but unconscious and unresponsive.
00:03:45
Davey
And, you know, it was a very traumatic moment, Ken, in the sense of obviously, it you know, that sounds like an understatement, but I say that to set up the fact that I had no idea that she had been shot in that moment.
00:03:57
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:03:57
Davey
I thought something had gone horrifically wrong with the pregnancy. She had been getting dizzy spells up to that point I thought, you know, she had passed out, that she had hit this ladder that was like that was against the wall and it fell down on top of her. And that was maybe the exav explanation for the blood. And so just thought, man, if we get her to the hospital, everything's gonna be okay.
00:04:14
Davey
But part of that too was because I i held on to this belief that as long as I'm following after God and as long as we're in the center of God's will, nothing bad's going to happen. And I don't think I would have ever preached that as a pastor at that time, but that was my functional theology, if you will.
00:04:24
Ken Freire
a
00:04:30
Davey
that the safest place to be is in the center of God's will. And that there was like this a gentleman's agreement between me and God, like, hey, we're gonna sacrifice and do a whole bunch of stuff for the kingdom, but you're gonna protect our family always.
00:04:42
Davey
And so my mind couldn't even compute what was going on in this kind of like naivety. We get her to the hospital, And I fully expect them to say, Hey, everything's fine. She's, we got her vitals are good. And maybe at the very worst, you know unfortunately you guys lost the baby, but she's going to be okay.
00:04:58
Davey
And then doctors and investigators came in and started asking me questions when they realized that I had no idea what was going on. They told me that she had three bullet wounds in her. the last one was in the back of her head. There was a bullet lodged behind her eye. They said, we're going to try to operate at the swelling and her brain goes down, but it doesn't look
00:05:16
Ken Freire
Mm-hmm.
00:05:16
Davey
And, you know, even in that moment, can I believe that God was going to heal her? I just, it was like this moment of denial or maybe faith or I don't know, something that just gripped me that said, no, God's going heal her. And I prayed with the doctors, God, you're going heal her.
00:05:31
Davey
And for the next 24 hours, we sat and waited to see what would happen. Family came in, we sat by her bedside and 24 hours later, November 11th, 2015, she was pronounced officially deceased, which happened to be, Ken, that we had packed a moving van up from South Carolina from this comfortable job of this fast-growing church that we were a part of to go and pursue this call to plant the church.
00:05:53
Davey
Four years to the day.
00:05:55
Ken Freire
Hmm.
00:05:55
Davey
So it left me wrestling with a whole lot. Of course, wrestling with a lot of grief and anguish and sorrow and loneliness for having just lost my best friend, my soulmate, my ministry partner.
00:06:08
Davey
confusion of what to how to sort through all of this with my son who' fifteen months old how do i be a single dad to my son now. um And then trying to help my congregation figure out how do how do we sort through all of this. And then it was a national news story. So trying to navigate this like media firestorm, the eyes of a lot of people looking into judging how I was walking through this, how I was grieving.
00:06:33
Davey
And so just feeling conflicted and all of that, but also feeling this sense of almost cause and effect is what it felt like. And that was like, well, we here, here I am. Prior to all of this, ah I've always been a a pretty ambitious person. I've been a high achiever.
00:06:50
Davey
If you're familiar with Enneagram, I'm an Enneagram three and I'm the threest of the threes.
00:06:52
Ken Freire
Yeah. yeah
00:06:54
Davey
Like I'm always taking the hill and I'm charging hard.
00:06:55
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:06:57
Davey
And so wrestling with this idea of like, if we had not pursued this thing that we thought God was calling us to, that we knew God was calling us to, right?
00:07:11
Davey
If we had not done that, would this have
00:07:15
Ken Freire
yeah
00:07:15
Davey
And so here I am left with this, like kind of facing myself in this feeling of guilt and shame over what had just transpired and and what might my part had been in all that.
00:07:28
Ken Freire
Yeah. And and as as you were processing that guilt and shame, I'm sure there's a lot of what ifs. Like, what if I didn't go to the gym that day?
00:07:34
Davey
Oh.
00:07:36
Ken Freire
What if I would have left later or earlier?
00:07:39
Davey
Yeah.
00:07:39
Ken Freire
Right. Because if they didn't see you leave, maybe nothing would have happened.
00:07:41
Davey
Yeah.
00:07:44
Ken Freire
um You know, what if you didn't plant the church? How did you start to process all those what ifs and the shame that just came with all that?
00:07:47
Davey
Right.
00:07:52
Davey
Well, it was yeah I mean, initially it was nearly impossible because those, you know, the enemy does a really good job. He's very crafty of planting those thoughts in your head, too.
00:07:59
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:08:00
Davey
The enemy knows your story, right? He's not omniscient, but he knows your story. He studied you enough. And so he's like, hey, I i know that if I can plant these things in his head and he is's going to send him spiral gonna make him very very conflicted to where he's goingnna be neutralized from being able to actually partner with god in this to not just recover and heal but also leverage it to help other
00:08:19
Davey
And so I, um, there were a couple of things you brought up. Yes. What if I had left earlier or later for gone to the gym at all? What if I had, right. But also I left without locking my doors and there were some, there were reasons for that and really weird reasons to like two weeks before this, I was we were getting our house ready to sell and i was going to go and change all the locks.
00:08:45
Davey
It is a very ironic thing that like a few weeks before this, I'm going to the hardware store to to buy new locks for our house so that we could get everything.
00:08:47
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:08:55
Davey
We're kind of overhauling, making sure everything's ready for this house to sell. And I call Amanda and say, here are these locks. Here's couple options. Here's the price. Right. And she goes, David, don't worry about that.
00:09:05
Davey
That's unnecessary. The new owners, whoever buys our house, they're going to change the locks anyways. Like, just don't worry about it We had one key And so the key was on her key ring.
00:09:15
Davey
She was stay-at-home mom. So I would leave all the time, and you know, and she's staying at home.
00:09:19
Ken Freire
yeah
00:09:19
Davey
And so I wanted to make sure she had the key to lock the house when she left. So there were all these reasons that compounded itself. We had just put a Christmas tree up that the day before because we were November Christmas tree people, right?
00:09:31
Davey
We're those kinds of crazy.
00:09:32
Ken Freire
I love it. You were doing it the right way.
00:09:33
Davey
So we had just, yeah, exactly, right?
00:09:34
Ken Freire
You were doing it the right way.
00:09:35
Davey
We're listening to Christmas music November 1.
00:09:35
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:09:38
Davey
But we had put up a Christmas tree right in front of where our alarm keypad was. So I just, that morning just happened to not like want to get behind the Christmas tree and set the alarm. and i was like, Oh, it made mental note. Like I need to go and I need to find the key, the key fob for the alarm, that kind of thing. Right.
00:09:55
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:09:55
Davey
All of that coincidentally happening that leads up to this. So of course I wreck wrestling with these things. These like, what if I had done this? What if I had done this?
00:10:07
Davey
Why wasn't it me that, was there why wast why weren't i the one to protect her why was it and i write about this in in my book but I had a conversation with her dad and it was a very sobering conversation there's a lot that kind of goes into just like having a conversation with her dad the person who you know held her when she was born and and and and grew her up and instilled so many values and and characteristics into her and the one who ultimately had the charge
00:10:38
Davey
from the lord to protect her when she was when she was young and then handed that charge off to me.
00:10:44
Ken Freire
yeah
00:10:45
Davey
And so I remember sitting across this breakfast table with her dad, just feeling so overcome with guilt and with shame and with just this feeling that I had failed him and that I had failed her. And he he lovingly began to point out to me all of the things that looked like coincidence
00:11:08
Davey
And all of the things that, including things like this, he said, Davey, you um
00:11:16
Davey
one of the one of the people that came to the hospital was a funeral director that was a part of a church that he had previously pastored and just came to like show up there. And they had received a mistaken shipment of a casket.
00:11:33
Davey
like They didn't order it. And the casket happened to be made out of completely made out of reclaimed barn wood. So Amanda used to refinish furniture. She would have me go pick up a dresser off of the side of the road, you know like American Pickers.
00:11:48
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:11:48
Davey
And someone had thrown it out, literally thrown it out, saying, know I don't want this anymore. She'd have me go pick it up and bring it home. She would restore this, and she'd go take it to antique shows, and she would sell it for this like... ginormous profit. It was crazy. She could take something that literally we got off for free and she would sell it for 400, 500, $600.
00:12:05
Davey
four hundred five hundred six hundred dollars And I'm like, man, you just, she was able to instill value in these things that everybody saw that was, was wasted. And reclaimed barn wood was her favorite thing to work with.
00:12:18
Davey
So if there's any, like, if you're thinking about any kind of a casket that you want to lay your wife in, it was going to be, for me, it was going to reclaimed barn wood. so two weeks before she passed away this funeral director who was going to end up being the director of the funeral the celebration of life service for me andda receives this mistaken shipment of reclaimed barn wood casket and he drove home from the hospital after we got the news that she wasn't going to make it and he called his wife and said i know why we received that shipment can i could share with you story after story after story after story just like that where you can see unmistakably the hand of god and his kindness
00:12:54
Ken Freire
wow
00:13:03
Davey
walking our family through all of this And her dad that morning lovingly reminded me of that and said, Dave, you can either believe that this whole thing is some random string of events, but that is a hopeless philosophy of life.
00:13:22
Davey
You can believe that you have the ability to control everything in your life, but that is recipe for absolute anxiety. Or you can trust that God is sovereign and that he is good and that he is seeing our family through all of this.
00:13:41
Davey
You know, the the Hebrew language, ah Rabbi Daniel Lappin says this, I love He says that the Hebrew language is God's language. And so if the word doesn't exist in the Hebrew language, the concept doesn't exist.
00:13:54
Davey
That's just a made up concept. It's funny. He notes that retirement is one of those.
00:13:56
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:13:58
Davey
He's like, retirement's a made up Western concept, right? what What was Moses's retirement? Well, he went up on Mount Sinai and looked at the promised land and and then he went home to be with God, right?
00:14:03
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:14:06
Davey
So there's no idea. But so he kind of like untangles on this, but he says, and he makes his point. He goes, one of the most profound words that there is no word for in the Hebrew language is the word coincidence.
00:14:19
Davey
And that's because in God's economy, everything is providence. And I think there's something about not just knowing that God is sovereign, but trusting in his goodness and his kindness, even when we don't understand it.
00:14:19
Ken Freire
Hmm.
00:14:35
Davey
There's something about that that brings peace.
00:14:38
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:14:38
Davey
Now, that doesn't come without a whole lot of wrestling. That doesn't come without, it's not like one conversation did it for me, Ken, but that was a very pivotal moment that began to fuel some wrestling with the Lord where I had to go, God, would you just...
00:14:49
Davey
begin to show me who you are, I'm going dismantle and deconstruct who I thought you were, but I need you to show me who you really are. And when we do that, it's amazing. He shows, that he, he showed me he's, he's more of a protector than I thought he was.
00:15:02
Davey
He's more of a healer than I thought he was. He's a better father than I thought he was. Like when I began to wrestle with him ah through these things, I began to realize, I began to see who my, who I am for like who I am, you know, in light of who he is, both in the things that he says about me where he says you are chosen you're a son you are favored you i love you I might my my my purposes are on you and in the things that like he said to Job where he's like hey where were you when I hung Orion in the sky like who who are you to like tell me how this universe should operate did you write the laws of the universe David like so you begin to be you feel both humbled by it and you feel like like this beautiful like like
00:15:49
Davey
I don't say bigness in the sense of like ego, but bigness in the sense of like, man, God loves me all the same time.
00:15:54
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:15:56
Davey
And that right there is what began to start unraveling for me the what ifs and some of the shame that I was experiencing.
00:16:05
Ken Freire
So, so David, you know, there, there's so, there's so much to unpack there and thank you one for sharing your story, right? Like I'm, I'm sure some people listening to this, like, how can he be so chill? Uh, I'm serious. Sharing the story.
00:16:17
Davey
Okay.
00:16:17
Ken Freire
Well, you've gotten 10 years of just healing, right.
00:16:20
Davey
It's been 10 years. Yeah. And sharing it all the time.
00:16:22
Ken Freire
Of healing. Yeah.
00:16:25
Davey
Right? Like I was forced to share this can early on. And what I realized is like God laid out a path of cognitive behavioral therapy for me that I didn't know. Because here I am, I'm preaching, I'm sharing it, I'm sharing it, I'm sharing it.
00:16:37
Davey
And yeah I'm sure you encourage your, your audience this way, right? it's like
00:16:40
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:16:40
Davey
hey if you get out in the open if you expose to light the things in the dark it won it doesn't have power over you it's way more powerful when it's hidden. But when you get down to light, man, it becomes, it's like, what this doesn't have power over me anymore.
00:16:51
Ken Freire
Oh, 100%.
00:16:55
Davey
So you, so it actually becomes easier and easier to share it. Now it's still hurts, still heavy, but I'm stronger. It's not that it's like less heavy. It's just, no, I've become stronger to be able to carry it and to carry it with a purpose now.
00:17:10
Ken Freire
Yeah. and And how did you start to move towards that? And and and I want to talk about moving from pain to purpose here in a second. But there are people who are listening to this and they might not have lost a wife. Some may have lost a wife.
00:17:25
Ken Freire
Right. And a child. um But for those who are listening to this, we've all gone through some pain. We've all gone through some suffering and we're wrestling through the question, God, how could you have allowed this to happen to me?
00:17:31
Davey
right
00:17:39
Davey
Yeah.
00:17:40
Ken Freire
I mean, i like I was sharing this with you, Davey. I've shared this on the podcast numerous times. i was sexually abused. And I remember when I was a young kid, I was like, God, I was just a child. Why would you let this happen to me?
00:17:49
Davey
Yeah. Yeah.
00:17:52
Ken Freire
And so so cognitively, right? We know God is sovereign. We know God is loving. We know God is good. But still, it's hard to comprehend it on the practical side of things.
00:18:03
Davey
Right, right.
00:18:04
Ken Freire
when it's like, wait, we got hurt. How would you help a guy who's listening to us be like, yeah, that's me right now.
00:18:11
Davey
Yeah.
00:18:11
Ken Freire
I'm struggling to trust that God is kind and good. Like you're talking about.
00:18:16
Davey
Yeah.
00:18:18
Davey
Well, I think the question of God, how could you allow this to happen to me, is a very difficult question to wrap our heads around.
00:18:26
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:18:26
Davey
And so what I encourage people to do instead is to first ask the question, God, where were you when this happened? And what is your heart over what has happened to me?
00:18:41
Davey
Because I think we begin to start to see a little bit more about who God is and um how his heart breaks for the pain and the suffering and the sin of this world more than our heart could ever break for it.
00:18:58
Davey
it know It breaks so much that he sent his son, Jesus, to go through the most excruciating suffering that any of us can imagine. Talk about your worst nightmare. My pain that I've gone through, pales in comparison to what Jesus went through for us.
00:19:12
Davey
The injustice that I experience, although it's extremely and unjust, pales in comparison to the perfect God-man dying a criminal's death.
00:19:20
Ken Freire
yeah
00:19:21
Davey
So when I begin to see that God's answer to us is not some kind of explanation, God's answer to us as incarnation is saying, hey, I'm going walk with you in this suffering and I'm going to endure suffering to the extent that you can never imagine on your behalf so that you can walk in freedom, no matter what the suffering is that befalls your life.
00:19:42
Davey
That's when it begins to peel back some of those questions. Because then the question shifts, it doesn't become like, how could you allow this to happen? It's like, oh, where are you? And that's why Psalm 23, 4 says, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.
00:19:50
Ken Freire
yeah
00:19:56
Davey
For why? For you are with me.
00:20:00
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:20:00
Davey
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. And so, you know I can like break down theologically some things. There's still a lot of things that are left in mystery, which is cheap as it should be, because our finite minds cannot comprehend the ways of God. His ways are much higher than our ways.
00:20:20
Davey
No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no one can fathom what he has in store for us. But I can kind of like parse out and break down theologically like okay did god cause this to happen did he allow this to happen What's the interplay between the two?
00:20:35
Davey
i can say some kind of pithy phrases that are true, but maybe not really helpful. Like, hey, God doesn't always intervene to prevent things from happening, but he always intervenes to produce something good out of it.
00:20:51
Davey
but But the way you get to those true phrases is by way of wrestling and asking those questions that say where are you god
00:21:01
Ken Freire
yeah
00:21:01
Davey
And, and what is your heart for this right here? Can I'll never forget. i was coaching these when we first started the ministry, I i started out just coaching people. I had no idea what it would look like. God told us step away from the church, keep doing the podcast. We've been doing the podcast. Nothing's wasted podcast since 2017. And in 2019, he said, step away from the church, keep doing the podcast and figure out what it looks like to make nothing as wasted ministries and do full-fledged ministry.
00:21:25
Davey
And I'm like, What the heck? that I don't have no idea. This is like, I don't know. I can't support my family on a podcast. Like, you know, this, you don't, you don't monetize a podcast.
00:21:33
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:21:34
Davey
You pour everything you can into it.
00:21:34
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:21:35
Davey
Cost you money. Right.
00:21:36
Ken Freire
yeah
00:21:37
Davey
So I'm like, okay. So I started coaching people. I had this one couple that I started coaching. They lost their son to suicide. Uh, I think it was 19 year old son, 17 year old, something around there, right around that 18 year old age.
00:21:51
Davey
And they didn't have a real robust relationship with God, but they were seeking and searching. And they just were like so confused. And I remember feeling just completely inept. I'm like, I don't know how to help them.
00:22:05
Davey
What am I doing right now? Right? Like, but I'm not the expert in this. And so I literally, I threw up a Hail Mary. I go, here's what I want you to do. Between this session and next session, I want you to go and ask God, God, where were you when my son took his life?
00:22:21
Davey
And then I'm like, dear Lord, please show up. Show them. Like, would you, like, I don't know what to do right here, you know?
00:22:25
Ken Freire
like, i got a week to figure this out now.
00:22:29
Davey
And so they come back the next session and she's got tears in her eyes. She said, David, you didn't know this, but between last session and this session was our son's birthday. And I woke up that night from a dream.
00:22:41
Davey
She said, now this is going to blow so many people's theology out of the water, but this is how God is. He blows it up sometimes, right? She goes, in my dream, my son was sitting in the driver's seat of a car and Jesus was in the backseat.
00:23:00
Davey
They had found their son when he committed so you can commit suicide in a car. She said, but the crazy thing was it wasn't his car. i don't know it was a white sedan she says she woke up told her husband about the dream and her husband goes i i've never shared this with you but the car that he was founding was not his car was or rental car that's a white
00:23:19
Davey
She said, Davey, I know that Jesus was there. And I can't theologically break that down for her. I can't give her an explanation. But what she experienced is that Jesus cares for her, was there for her, and is speaking to her so personal personally, personally.
00:23:41
Davey
that she has a no shadow of it out but she but She's like, i believe firmly that God is going to do something in me that's going to heal me and carry us through this.
00:23:54
Davey
And sometimes that's all we need to know.
00:23:56
Ken Freire
Yeah. You know, um Davey, we were talking about my story a little bit before here. and And one of things that I have wrestled with a lot of men who struggled with abuse is that a big issue is that they struggle with isolation.
00:24:08
Davey
yeah
00:24:11
Ken Freire
They feel like they're all alone in their suffering. And that's one of the big side effects of of suffering, right? We just feel like no one understands us. No one knows what's going on. Like who can possibly know?
00:24:23
Ken Freire
And I remember when I thought about committing suicide and I was getting ready to end my life, I asked those questions like, God, where were you? were Like, why weren't you here? Like, I feel so alone.
00:24:30
Davey
wow
00:24:32
Ken Freire
And when God miraculously intervened, so when you share those stories, I'm like, dude, I have so many stories of my own and like so stories of clients that like, it just happens.
00:24:38
Davey
You're like, wow.
00:24:41
Ken Freire
I just remember God miraculously, dude, I cannot tell you even theologically how to still explain this. And I have degrees on it right? um But he came into my room and he's like, Ken,
00:24:53
Davey
remember
00:24:53
Ken Freire
Like it was Joshua 1, 9, right? Do not be discouraged. Do not be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. And it was the first time I felt like God was with me. And when God's presence is with you, it allows you to go through that suffering and be able to to deal with it.
00:25:10
Ken Freire
And very similar what you were saying, we could have all the theological answers, the apologetical arguments for it. But at the end of the day, we don't need an answer. We need a person.
00:25:21
Davey
That's it.
00:25:22
Ken Freire
And, and that person is Jesus and man, like, that's how I started finding healing.
00:25:23
Davey
That's it. It's
00:25:26
Ken Freire
It sounds like that's how you started to find healing and and people start finding healing with the nothing is wasted coaching program.
00:25:26
Davey
true. Yeah. Yeah. Right.
00:25:32
Ken Freire
And that's what I want people to hear is that like, you need to experience the person of Jesus in the midst of your suffering.
00:25:37
Davey
Right. Right.
00:25:40
Ken Freire
And that can be sometimes the hardest thing.
00:25:42
Davey
Yeah.
00:25:42
Ken Freire
Um, for for you.
00:25:43
Davey
So good. And theology is, so helpful it's good right it gives us some that gives us some like framework for how we understand this world, how we understand God and how we understand ourselves.
00:25:44
Ken Freire
Yes. yes
00:25:53
Davey
We talk about in the pain to purpose course that we have, our introductory session is like, if a loving God exists, how can pain and suffering exist? And what do i do about mine? Right.
00:26:02
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:26:02
Davey
And we talk about what I call the four perpetrators of pain. And then we talk about God's plan for pain. And we talk about like, here's the, and we try to bring those tough cookies to the bottom shelf so that everyone can understand it and grasp it. But you nailed it. Like that really the answer, God's answer to pain is Jesus.
00:26:18
Ken Freire
Yeah. and And, you know, what's crazy is that sometimes it can feel like that's just a Sunday school answer, but it's in the in those moments that that Sunday school answer, it has to be the most profound thing.
00:26:24
Davey
yeah
00:26:29
Ken Freire
And not like a abstract, like, hey, go just read a book about Jesus. Like you actually need to experience Jesus.
00:26:33
Davey
Right, right, right.
00:26:37
Ken Freire
and And those are two very different things.
00:26:40
Davey
Yeah.
00:26:40
Ken Freire
um and And for you, Davey, i'm I'm curious, as you started to walk through this, you experienced the person of Jesus. He started to walk you through. um How did you shift the gears from your pain to purpose?
00:26:57
Davey
It started pretty early for me on my journey, partially because I was a pastor of a church.
00:27:02
Ken Freire
Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:02
Davey
So, you know, three months later, i was back preaching to my congregation. And I'm not i'm not saying that's prescriptive. I'm just saying that's descriptive. I'm not necessarily suggesting that that's what I would do if I were someone.
00:27:15
Davey
I didn't have a manual for this.
00:27:15
Ken Freire
Mmm.
00:27:16
Davey
I just was trying to walk this out. And I actually i actually remember very where I felt like I was the first week that this happened was I felt like I was the disciples in John 6 where Jesus lays this hard teaching down and everybody walks away.
00:27:29
Davey
And he looks at the disciples and goes, are you not going to walk away too? And they go, where are we going to go? You have the words of life. And that's what I felt. Like I said, I was like, Lord, i am hanging on to you. I have no idea what you're doing in this. And I don't know if I trust you right now. Like you have, but I, but I'm choosing to, because I've seen you show up in my life faithfully all the way up to this point for the first thirty years of my life and i' and and this has been so jarring and so dislodging but but i don't know where else to go so i'm going to say yes to whatever you put in front of me and so you just open up whatever door so god laid out this like healing path for me that i can't take credit
00:28:03
Davey
not like i strategically went and said okay hey chat GPT, what's the best way to, you know, it's like, it's like, God, you do that with whatever it is. And so I remember feeling this stirring three months into it where I was like, there's so much that I felt like the enemy had robbed from me like taken territory from me and i felt like the only way that i can reengage that with a like masculine warrior spirit because i mean i felt all the feelings of rage and wanting revenge and all of that stuff.
00:28:32
Davey
But the Lord reminded me that that battle is not in the natural or the carnal. It's in the spiritual. And the best way for me to get revenge in this situation, to actually undo the work of the enemy is to begin fighting the battle in the spiritual by disrupting the real enemy's work and the only way to disrupt the real enemy's work is to bring life and you know call people into life not to death
00:28:56
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:28:57
Davey
not to perpetuate this thing that has happened to me but to like do the opposite. So I just started, I was like, got to get up and preach. And I don't know if I have answers. I'm not putting everything in, like tying everything up with a bow end of my messages. I'm actually like leaving a lot more questions than there were answers.
00:29:14
Davey
But as I began to do that, I began to feel a lot of purpose because I began to see other people come forward and go, Hey, I also am hurting. And it's unrelated to you, Davey. It's my own story.
00:29:25
Davey
and god be gonna grow my empathy for other people because i could so i could understand how they were feeling And it got me out of my pain and started looking at like the pain of this world and going, man, God, would you do something about this?
00:29:38
Davey
And God's like, yeah, i'm I'm calling you to help me do something about this. Right. And so that began to fuel this purpose that, and you know, many of your listeners are familiar with Victor, Victor Frankl.
00:29:50
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:29:50
Davey
he's a contemporary of um Sigmund Freud, who Simeon Freud said that man's chief aim is to avoid pain and pursue pleasure. And Viktor Frankl said, no, there's something beyond that, transcendent of that, that like carries man through the darkest of moments, and that's purpose.
00:30:08
Davey
And I experienced that, that the more I began to help other people out of my pain, even if I wasn't fully healed, the more that I began to actually heal, because purpose was was fueling a lot of healing And so it started early. I was started just kind of sharing what God was doing in my life, watching other people be healed by that, watching other people be encouraged by that.
00:30:30
Davey
And then about a year into that, um as I was meeting these incredible people along the way along the journey, I was blogging at the time and there were, it was, you know, God was gracious. He was, there's about tens of thousands of people reading that blog, but I realized, man, I can talk faster than I can write.
00:30:47
Davey
i don't feel like can't, doing in my writing.
00:30:51
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:30:52
Davey
And I've met all these incredible people along the journey that I want, I want you guys to hear from them because that's who I'm borrowing faith from. So we started nothing is wasted podcast and that just continued to fuel purpose for me because I would, people would write in and they would, you know, since they started listening, they're like, these stories encouraged me so much. I'm like, this is amazing.
00:31:11
Davey
Like we really do overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony is revelation 12 says, but So that just kind of began to, there was these aha moments through that. It was like, there is something about moving into a place of purpose that doesn't take the pain away, but it does help to begin to be a salve for that pain. And it creates a resilience and strength, like a divine resilience and strength in you that helps you carry that pain and carry it differently.
00:31:41
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:31:42
Davey
So, yeah.
00:31:43
Ken Freire
And I love that. I love that davidve because I talked to a lot of the guys about this, too, where it's like, hey, sometimes we think about healing from like abuse or if they're struggling with pornography, they're like, I just got to get rid of this.
00:31:54
Ken Freire
And the answer is not always like, hey, i'm gonna stop this and do nothing. It's like, no, I need to stop it and move towards something.
00:31:57
Davey
right right yep
00:32:00
Ken Freire
Like take all that energy and in go into being on mission for God and being on purpose. And if you're not doing that, you just easily fall back into either your your sinful addictions or you allow that pain to me to overcome you.
00:32:17
Davey
right
00:32:17
Ken Freire
and And that's why you need that. And as you're you know as you're thinking about this in the time of the recording, you and I were talking about this earlier. Today marks um the day before Charlie Kirk was assassinated.
00:32:33
Ken Freire
And there are a lot of people who are hearing this. And when we're talking about death, you know ah many many times we think about death as an abstract, right?
00:32:39
Davey
Yeah.
00:32:42
Ken Freire
We see the statistics, it's a number.
00:32:44
Davey
Right. Right.
00:32:45
Ken Freire
And we're like, okay, yeah, that person died.
00:32:45
Davey
Yeah.
00:32:47
Ken Freire
But I think this feels way more personal because a lot of people saw ah Charlie Kirk's you know platform.
00:32:53
Davey
Right.
00:32:54
Ken Freire
They probably watched his stuff.
00:32:55
Davey
Right.
00:32:55
Ken Freire
They were encouraged by it. And then some of us, unfortunately, saw the actual video. And now that's etched in our minds.
00:33:01
Davey
Yeah.
00:33:02
Ken Freire
And for you, you're like, yeah, I have etched in my mind the death of my late wife. And now Charlie's
00:33:11
Davey
yeah
00:33:12
Ken Freire
How do you speak to people who right now there's all that rage? You know, you were talking about initially you had this rage, this anger.
00:33:16
Davey
Yeah.
00:33:18
Ken Freire
You're like, I want to fight and you don't know where to take it.
00:33:22
Davey
Yeah.
00:33:22
Ken Freire
There's a lot of people on social media. I mean, saying some nasty stuff and and you're just like, God, how do i respond to this?
00:33:31
Davey
Yeah.
00:33:31
Ken Freire
So how do you help people heal in this moment that there's so much emotionally charged um anger and some of it righteous anger? Because we just saw
00:33:41
Davey
Right.
00:33:42
Ken Freire
someone un murdered and who is trying to do the work of God.
00:33:43
Davey
Right.
00:33:46
Davey
Yeah. Well, there's a few things. um I think you, you definitely spoke to it right there, Ken, that we've become so desensitized to these things.
00:33:56
Ken Freire
yeah
00:33:57
Davey
You know, we watch movies and I mean, I'm just as guilty as everybody, right? I'm, you know, watching different movies that I told my wife this morning, she asked me, I told you this before, she said, how are you feeling about this i haven't ah to this point i haven't maybe kind of public statement or written anything on my socials or anything i'm watching everybody else coming through my feed, seeing everybody else post different things and watching both the encouraging things that people are saying, as well as the vitriol that people are are throwing and heaping on to this whole thing. And it breaks my heart. And so Christy asked me, she how are you feeling about this right now? Especially given like with what you've experienced, is it bringing anything up? said, it's bringing a whole lot up right now.
00:34:36
Davey
You know, I told you this, Ken, so you guys who are listening to this, I'm kind of proud
00:34:42
Davey
an actual statement but i'd rather process kind of stuff out loud and honestly, I think it's really healthy too. um We've become desensitized to this so much that we forget people are human.
00:34:57
Davey
We forget people have very real experiences, real lives, real hurts, real real dreams, real hopes. And so all of a sudden, this kind of a thing becomes a lever or a pawn for our presuppositions, our agendas, or our political beliefs.
00:35:16
Davey
And you know can after Amanda passed away, i had a congressperson reach out to me and ask me to be their special guest at the State of the Union need to Address that year.
00:35:28
Davey
And I was like, wow, that sound that's like what an honor. you know like I mean, that's kind of a bucket list item in general, right? It's just to be there at the State of the Union Address. It doesn't matter who was in the presidency at the time. like I wouldn't care just be in that room not the State of the Union Address.
00:35:43
Davey
That'd be amazing. And the initial the initial reach out to me at first I thought was like a very empathetic, we just want to wrap our arms around you.
00:35:54
Davey
We're so sorry for what you've gone through. And then I find out later that there was actually a political agenda and involved that they wanted to bring anybody in who had just experienced that were victims of gun violence.
00:36:09
Davey
And I don't need to like talk about my stance on gun violence and this. That's not what this is all about.
00:36:14
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:36:15
Davey
but i But I ended up declining that invitation respectfully. And I told them, I said, hey, my story, and most importantly, Amanda's story, is not going to be used as a pawn for some kind of a political agenda.
00:36:29
Davey
It doesn't matter what side of the argument there is. Because Amanda was an unbelievably special woman. And I think that as human beings, as Americans, we've forgotten just the dignity of humans.
00:36:46
Davey
That God has created all of us. I'm going through this with my kids in homeschool right now. It's amazing. We're talking about inalienable rights. We're talking about natural rights. We're literally, I'm leading them up to the American revolution right now in homeschool.
00:36:58
Davey
And I'm being reminded of just the Imago Dei that he's created each one of us with. That we are they're we' are sacred beings And when we forget, we forget that about other people.
00:37:14
Davey
That's what causes us to descend into this hatred and this vitriol and not be able to actually sit down and have civil discourse, but to resort to violence.
00:37:26
Davey
It just is so, oh it's so uncivilized just from a pure like civilizations is so uncivilized. And then to watch the comments and see different things like, regardless of what you think about Charlie Kirk, regardless of whether you agreed with him or not, regardless of to what extent you agreed with him or not. Like, you're never going to fully agree with anybody.
00:37:49
Davey
doesn't matter to what extent you agree with him. But the fact that anybody would post things like, he deserved it, what?
00:37:57
Davey
That kind of stuff just makes me so angry. On one hand, because I've experienced, can I've experienced my wife now being on the tail end of people commenting things to her about coming out of their conspiracies that I was involved in my wife's murder and saying i and literally saying to her, I hope that you're next.
00:38:18
Ken Freire
Wow.
00:38:23
Ken Freire
Dude.
00:38:24
Davey
They don't know her. they don't And I'm like, how could anybody be so unhuman and so full of hatred and hurt that they would, for one, think that, but then to actually like post that or comment that.
00:38:42
Davey
And so I think that across the board, it's just like, the I look at these things I'm like, is there is there any hope for us to be able to get back to a place of like civility when this kind of stuff is going on? And it makes me go, wow, we really need a Savior.
00:39:00
Ken Freire
yeah
00:39:01
Davey
wow, we really need Jesus to step in and make all of this right. Like, it's not, we're not, it's policy's not going to do It doesn't matter who's sitting in the White House. Like, honestly, it does not matter. Like, do I have political opinions? Do I, you know, am i engaged in that? Absolutely. I'm very engaged in that stuff.
00:39:20
Davey
But like, the problem is, is most people are like what's your political opinion? What do you want to like, and they go for that. and you're like, nevermind, like, nevermind those things. Let's talk about being human. Let's talk about just like holding up upholding the dignity of all human lives, the sanctity of life.
00:39:37
Davey
And I'm like, this just, it just absolutely blows my mind that this has happened and that people would heap onto this and resort to the lowest common denominator with any kind of comments other than, man, we're praying for Charlie's family, his wife, his kids.
00:39:57
Davey
We hold them up in our thoughts and our prayers. and just remember that they are hurting hurting people right now
00:40:04
Ken Freire
Yeah, 100%. yeah and
00:40:06
Davey
So those are kind of my own process thoughts on it. I'm sure I'll have a lot more thoughts, but I do know this, that the light shines the brightest in the darkness. And the only way for us to actually begin to push back against darkness is not going to be fighting fire with fire because hurt people hurt people.
00:40:27
Davey
It just perpetuates, right?
00:40:27
Ken Freire
yeah one hundred percent
00:40:29
Davey
It's not going to be that hurt. People can also heal people. And that's what you're doing on this platform is you're trying to help people who have who have acted out of their hurt, right? who have like Who have like, they're they're they're experiencing a lot of hurt. And so they're we're resorting to out of our own shame, out of our own, we're resorting to maladaptive coping mechanisms that go, no, we can actually be healed and we can heal others out of this.
00:40:52
Davey
We can become whole again. We can really like, despite what's been done to us and what we've done, we can actually be a people that brings life and brings hope into this world.
00:41:04
Davey
But the only way it is fighting with different kinds of weapons.
00:41:08
Ken Freire
Yeah. and And that, that, Davey, is so important because I think, you know, you said earlier, like we're in a spiritual battle. And i was like with you, i was texting some friends of mine earlier this morning. I was like, I am so mad right now for what's happening and then how the people are reacting.
00:41:27
Ken Freire
And i think I saw it in other social media posts before and other when other people die. Right. It's like the the vitriol.
00:41:32
Davey
Right.
00:41:33
Ken Freire
And I'm just like, well, everybody calm down. You know, like grieve. Someone just died.
00:41:39
Davey
Right.
00:41:39
Ken Freire
and And this one hits a little bit harder for us because he's a believer. He was doing something that for a lot of us, we we we thought he was standing for truth.
00:41:45
Davey
Right.
00:41:49
Davey
It
00:41:50
Ken Freire
And ah friend of mine was like, Ken, remember, we are in a spiritual battle.
00:41:55
Davey
is.
00:41:56
Ken Freire
And if anything, I think this is waking us up.
00:41:59
Davey
is
00:41:59
Ken Freire
And to say, hey, remember, there are demonic forces trying to steal, kill, and destroy you. There were demonic forces trying to steal, kill, and destroy you when you were a church planter. And you thought that like you guys are finally making momentum.
00:42:10
Davey
Right. Yeah. Right.
00:42:15
Davey
yeah
00:42:15
Ken Freire
And Amanda loses her life. And now God, like, but God has used that, you know, God, like that's the crazy part is that God has used her death of. and And the death of your your unborn son or child to say, hey, you know what I'm going to double down on nothing is wasted.
00:42:33
Ken Freire
And millions and millions of people have been listening to the podcast, finding healing, finding hope, finding encouragement.
00:42:38
Davey
right
00:42:40
Ken Freire
Man, this is this is what we're called to do. We can't, like you said earlier, we can't fight fire with fire.
00:42:43
Davey
Yeah. Right. Right.
00:42:45
Ken Freire
And I have to remind myself in this season right now, it's like, what would God want us to do? We have to love our enemies. We have to forgive. We have to pray. Like I wrote a post that I said, I want to pray for God's judgment.
00:42:59
Ken Freire
And this is like so hard for me to say um right now. But it's like pray for God's judgment for for all these murderers that either they feel the wrath of God or that they feel the mercies of God and that they come to salvation.
00:43:08
Davey
right
00:43:14
Ken Freire
I think a lot of believers right now are like wrath all day long.
00:43:17
Davey
Wrath, wrath, wrath, yeah.
00:43:17
Ken Freire
Let's go. Wrath, wrath, wrath. But are we praying for their to their souls to to truly come to know Jesus and say, you know what?
00:43:22
Davey
Yeah.
00:43:27
Ken Freire
Everyone can come to saving faith in Christ.
00:43:30
Davey
That's right.
00:43:30
Ken Freire
And if if we're not there in our hearts too as believers, like, man, there's something that we got to keep in check and and places that we have to be healed.
00:43:37
Davey
That's so true. We have to think about Paul. I mean, Paul co-signed on the martyrdom of Stephen when he was Saul.
00:43:44
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:43:46
Davey
So I do, I agree. Like, you know, I've shared with this before, several times I speak, I'm like, Hey, I prayed that the men who killed Amanda would come to know Christ.
00:43:57
Ken Freire
yeah
00:43:58
Davey
And people like, how could you do that? Right. I'm like, okay, well, hold on. Let's just step back and let's just think about what Jesus said. He said, love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you. He said, when they're thirsty, give them something to drink. When they're hungry, to give them something to eat. There's like this is the upsidedown kingdom that he came to bring to remind us of the humanity of all things.
00:44:16
Davey
He also said that, hey, the same hatred that's in your heart is the same hatred that fueled the murder of my wife, right? Like it's the same sin. It's not, you know, and so the,
00:44:24
Ken Freire
yeah
00:44:28
Davey
so for us to forget that it's like but for the grace of god ego i is just lumping us back in that category of just being judgmental and self-righteous, which is just as bad.
00:44:39
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:44:42
Davey
So, so what we have to pray for is exactly what you said. Like God is the ultimate judge and arbiter of all cases. He sees the heart of all men and women. And like, so he's going to fully and finally restore in his justice and is restorative justice.
00:45:01
Davey
It's not retributive justice. It's not tit for tat, it's not eye for eye, it's restorative. He restores all things. Sometimes that means that he brings somebody back because he's patient first peter says he he wishes that nobody would pers He's not slowly keeping his promises.
00:45:15
Davey
So sometimes that means brings somebody into a place of mercy and grace where they lose themselves and realize that that they need they need to walk in salvation. And sometimes they don't.
00:45:29
Davey
Sometimes they're turned over to an irreparable mind. We don't get the opportunity to be the judges in that case. We're not the arbiter in that case. He is. And so I think that's what what we are agents of reconciliation. is what scripture tells us as believers were ambassadors and so we carry the ministry of reconciliation.
00:45:46
Davey
We don't care the ministry of judgment. Now we've been given this, and by the Imago Dei, we've been given this justice gene inside of us that causes us to rise up and say, that's not right, and come to the protection of other people. Yes, but what we do with that determines whether it's going to be righteous justice or whether it's going to be unrighteous justice.
00:46:06
Davey
And the way that we operate, we have to operate an upside down kingdom. We have to operate with what as paul wrote to the So so we we as believers have to remember that the kingdom that we're a part of is one that restores even the furthest away from God.
00:46:22
Davey
And if he can do that for Saul, who was killing Christians, and then on the roadpe road to Damascus got completely turned around, and he became the biggest proponent of Christianity, spreading the gospel, then he can do that for any of us.
00:46:39
Davey
And this is the story of God. He has always used what the enemy means for evil and turned it for good. That's why Timothy Keller says, God gives evil enough space that it ultimately terminates itself.
00:46:52
Davey
Like the very act of evil the enemy tries to inflict, God uses that very thing to undo the work of the enemy. happens It's happened all throughout history. It's happened all throughout scripture. And it will continue to happen in the narrative that we play out.
00:47:06
Davey
And we get to be a part of that if we partner with God to take back this story.
00:47:11
Ken Freire
Amen. Davey, I think you and I could talk for a long time on this topic, but um I appreciate your insights.
00:47:14
Davey
Yeah.
00:47:18
Ken Freire
I think hopefully this is helpful for people, both if you're grieving, right?
00:47:22
Davey
Yeah.
00:47:22
Ken Freire
A personal loss, if you're suffering. And then also if you're like right now, just just dealing with the the the pain and grief of seeing Charlie die.
00:47:35
Ken Freire
um As we wrap up, you know, we think about death. Death is so unnatural for so many people and and for the world. that is Death is part of the fall.
00:47:46
Ken Freire
How would you just encourage people if they are struggling right now with pain and suffering? What's a good next step? Any final words that you want to just share with them as we wrap up our time here?
00:47:55
Davey
Yeah, I know that it can be extremely excruciating to lean into that pain. But I think one of the biggest things that as men we tend to do is we tend to either stuff that pain or suppress it or we form something, some kind of, as you would call maladaptive coping mechanism, some kind of an idol in our life, a dependency on something that we think like takes away that pain it's very easy for us to look that whether they' are good things bad things or just inherently neutral things it doesn't matter my encouragement would be to lean into that pain to address it, to confront it, to not try to numb from it because you can't selectively numb.
00:48:34
Davey
That if you numb the pain that you're going through, you're gonna numb the the same receptors, pain and joy, right? You're gonna numb the joy that you wanna experience eventually.
00:48:43
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:48:43
Davey
And you won't always be in this place and in this season. A lie from the enemy says it will always feel like this. It won't always feel like that. And a lie from the enemy says, this is you, this is what you always do. And that's not true.
00:48:57
Davey
Because Jesus has put, if you are a believer, the same spirit that raised him from the dead inside which means that he empowers you to walk through all of this, to confront every single one of those demons that are facing you right now. And I mean demons in the sense of the things you have to confront of your past.
00:49:13
Davey
And you can confront those and you can face those and they will not hold power over you as you confront them. And as you do that, you will you will realize the strength that he has emboldened you with the grace that he has empowered you with and you will be a completely different person and you will be ah person that you are proud of in the truest and best sense of the term because you're going man look what god has brought me through you won't be the hollow empty shell of yourself that you used to be but you got to lean into it because out of death dying of the old self comes a new self and that new self is waiting for
00:49:50
Ken Freire
Amen. Amen. Davey, thank you so much for that. ah What's the best way for people to reach you if they're like, I need your help or I just need to hear more of your wisdom.
00:49:56
Davey
Yeah.
00:49:58
Ken Freire
What's the best way?
00:50:00
Davey
Yeah. We have the nothing is wasted podcast. We share stories. We were about like almost 400 now, um, share stories of people who've gone through hard things and God shows up for them and they just get testimony of that. And then nothing is wasted is nothing is wasted.com.
00:50:14
Davey
is our ministry nothing things. And, uh, what, one of the biggest things we have is a course called pain to purpose. It's a 12 week curriculum. We launched it in churches all over the country, college campuses, we're in some correctional facilities, but that's what I spend most of my time doing now is helping these organizations launch this course.
00:50:31
Davey
to provide a space where people can experience healing wholeness no matter what they've gone through whether it's lost a loved one or whether it's childhood trauma or addiction or whatever it is, we take the common denominators of pain and a healing journey and couple that with scripture.
00:50:46
Davey
And we bring that forward to help people on that pathway. So nothingiswaste.com. There's all kinds of things. and There's coaches there. We've got about three dozen coaches that can coach with you, coach you one-on-one. I don't coach people anymore because we've got people who do it way better than I do.
00:50:58
Davey
Cause you heard earlier, I'm just like, god you're gonna have to give him a dream or something but we have people who are trauma certified. They're trained to be able to coach people one-on-one. And what's, just what's distinct about it, Ken, is that we help people and we match them story for story. So if someone has like lost a child, we connected with our child loss coach.
00:51:18
Davey
They've been there. They've gone through it. They understand what you're going through. You said this earlier. You said many of us believe we're the only ones going through what we're going through. It's isolated. But scripture tells us first Peter five, let us not forget that there are saints all over the world suffering in the same way that we are.
00:51:35
Davey
And so we have the power of technology. And so we've just decided to leverage the truth of God's word and the power of technology to connect people with other people who are going through the same thing they're going through. And so we'd love to help you get connected if that's the case.
00:51:48
Ken Freire
I love it. I love it. Nothingiswasted.com. I'll put all that stuff in the show notes. Davey, thank you so much again for for being on the podcast, sharing your story. And I hope this finds healing to many of you men who are listening to that.
00:52:01
Ken Freire
And as always, I remember to tell you, make sure you kill shame, stand strong, and be on mission. Hope you guys have great day and God bless.