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Understanding Sexual Desire & Finding True Freedom with Matt Cline
194 Plays1 year ago
Is your sexual desire something to suppress or something to understand? Could the cravings you battle with actually point toward something deeply holy?
In today's powerful episode, host Ken Freire is joined by Matt Cline, founder of Restored Ministries, a global ministry that has helped over 4,000 men find freedom from sexual addiction through profound, heart-level transformation and intimacy with Christ.
Matt challenges common views on sexual sin and shares personal revelations from his journey of healing and restoration. He reveals how true freedom isn't found in behavior modification or willpower alone, but in deeply knowing Christ and understanding the God-given purpose behind our desires.
Key Takeaways:
- Desire is Designed by God: Your sexual desires, though distorted by sin, were originally created to point you to intimacy with Christ.
- Heart-Level Healing: Overcoming sexual sin isn't about just changing behaviors but about transforming your heart through intimacy with Jesus.
- Identifying Triggers: Recognize that triggers are signals pointing to unmet desires and opportunities for deeper connection with God.
- Embracing Identity: Freedom comes from knowing your true identity in Christ, which transforms how you respond to temptation.
- Breaking Free from Shame: Confession and transparency are crucial steps toward healing and experiencing God's unconditional love.
Episode Highlights:
- Matt's personal encounter with Jesus, leading to freedom from pornography and healing from past trauma (02:00).
- How sexual desire can actually guide you into a deeper intimacy with Christ (08:47).
- The difference between behavior modification and Spirit-led transformation (13:24).
- How to practically respond to triggers by turning to Christ and His truth (17:39).
- The importance of confession and community in overcoming shame (23:13).
- How identity in Christ is foundational to lasting freedom and healing (29:13).
Memorable Quotes:
- "It's not about doing, but just about being with Jesus and being united." – Matt Cline
- "Sexual intimacy is a picture of a deeper intimacy with Christ." – Matt Cline
- "Freedom isn’t just possible; it’s available and deeply fulfilling." – Matt Cline
Connect with Matt Cline:
- Website: Restored Ministries
- Community: Pure Freedom Community
- Coaching, courses, and additional resources available on the website.
Recommended Next Steps:
- Visit Restored Ministries and explore free resources.
- Join a supportive community to maintain accountability and encouragement.
- Seek intimacy with God through scripture and prayer to experience lasting freedom.
Remember to kill shame, stand strong, and be on mission. If today's conversation resonated with you, take action—connect with a supportive community, embrace transparency, and pursue intimacy with Jesus, the one who truly satisfies.
God bless, and enjoy the journey of true freedom!
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Transcript
Intro
Challenging Perceptions of Desire
00:00:30
Ken Freire
What if your sexual desire wasn't something to suppress, but something to understand? what if lust was never just about the flesh, but also about something bigger within your heart?
00:00:43
Ken Freire
And could the craving you're ashamed of actually be pointing you to something holy? Today's episode will challenge what you think you know about desire, temptation, and
Introduction to Matt Klein
00:00:53
Ken Freire
healing.
00:00:53
Ken Freire
And my guest is someone who doesn't just talk about behavior change. He talks about heart level transformation. If you've ever felt stuck in a cycle of sexual sin or shame, what Matt shares today could unlock something powerful for you.
00:01:08
Ken Freire
So today i want to welcome Matt Klein. Matt, welcome to the show, my friend. How are you doing?
00:01:12
Matt Cline
Thanks, Ken. Doing well. How are
00:01:14
Ken Freire
I'm i'm doing amazing. I'm here in Nashville, Tennessee, where it's nice and warm, and you're in Canada where it's not warm. So...
00:01:23
Matt Cline
you? We're just waiting for summer and it just keeps snowing. I'm like, oh man, when is the snow going to go away?
00:01:28
Ken Freire
I know it's second, it's second winter for you guys. It's kicking in right now.
00:01:32
Matt Cline
Exactly.
00:01:33
Matt Cline
We'll have 30 days of summer is is eventually.
00:01:35
Ken Freire
Yeah, that's awesome.
Intimacy with Christ for Healing
00:01:37
Ken Freire
Well, for people who don't know you, Matt, just to make sure I'm clear, right? You're the founder of restored ministries. It's a global ministry where you've helped over 4,000 men find freedom sex, uh, from sexual addiction.
00:01:47
Ken Freire
And a lot of what you do is not like behavior modification. You're trying to get into the deep level of their soul and helping them focus in intimacy with Christ. Is that correct?
00:01:57
Matt Cline
Yeah, man, exactly what Jesus looks at. He looks at the inner part of us and that's where we want to focus. So yeah, you got it.
00:02:02
Ken Freire
Awesome, man. Well, take us back to your story. And what was the moment where God began shifting your perspective on your sexual struggles?
00:02:12
Matt Cline
Yeah, that's a good question. So my story, I never went through addiction recovery. I never went through programs. What it was for me was Jesus drew me out. And so when I learned...
00:02:20
Ken Freire
Hmm.
00:02:22
Matt Cline
what intimacy looked like with Christ, that really was the foundation that I needed to sustain freedom in my life. And so that looked like getting more in the word, that looked like learning thankfulness in all circumstances, looked like just changing my prayer life having an intimacy with Christ. It wasn't so much about doing, but just about being with him and being united.
00:02:46
Matt Cline
But what happened was was pretty interesting because We look at, like, what does this look like to be unified with Christ, number one? And then secondly, what is that going to bring into your life? Because it's not going to do something for you as flawed human beings, we're probably not going to keep pursuing this.
00:03:02
Matt Cline
And so when I was about nine months out of pornography, God started revealing things, traumas in my life, and bringing back memories.
God's Role in Healing and Guidance
00:03:13
Matt Cline
And that process of healing my heart, i i remember one morning, It was about 4.15 in the morning and God woke me up. And there were these three memories on my mind about being sexually abused as a teenager.
00:03:25
Matt Cline
And I didn't even know that I had been abused. And i remember my body started shaking and and was kind of this state of shock. And it was through intimacy with Christ that he started to reveal the things on my heart.
00:03:38
Matt Cline
were connected to my sin. But really, even more than that, he just wanted to heal my heart in general. And so that's my story of Jesus drawing me out both of sin and also of healing the heart things in my life that were holding me back really from receiving the love of God in my life.
00:03:58
Ken Freire
Yeah. When he started drawing you out, were there times where you were kind of like pushing back and you're like, no, no, no, no. I don't want to go there. Let's go over here.
00:04:06
Matt Cline
You know, I remember one time i i I masturbated and the next morning I felt like the Lord said, hey, call this one guy. And I was like, no, I'm not going to do it. And I didn't.
00:04:18
Matt Cline
And that was not good because it led to more more more destruction, which ultimately led to people being hurt. And it just wasn't good. And so, yeah, certainly there were times where chose pleasure over praise. I chose fearing people, fearing confession over fearing God.
00:04:36
Matt Cline
But I remember... It was so clear one time reading the Bible where it said, crucify the desires of your flesh. And I was reading this and I'm like, oh, interesting.
00:04:43
Ken Freire
you
00:04:44
Matt Cline
Like it doesn't say when you're emotionally healthy. It says crucify the desires of your flesh. And so like, if it is not dependent on our emotional health and on healing all of our traumas and our wounds and the rejection issues and father wounds and all of this, like if if God is saying all the time to crucify the desires of our flesh,
00:05:03
Matt Cline
then how cool is that, that through being unified with the Holy Spirit, that I can overcome and have the power to crucify even when I have emotional wounds and things in my life, insecurities and stuff like
Identity and Unity with the Holy Spirit
00:05:17
Matt Cline
that. So to me, it was a really big revelation of my identity in Christ that even when I have various things that I'm going through, he goes, no, you're still more than a conqueror. Be unified with me and you can put these things to death.
00:05:31
Matt Cline
And that really is what happened. So yeah, there was certainly resistance, but all the resistance is when I either felt inadequate Or I wanted the pleasure, but the submission came when I focused more on him and his power in my life rather than the things that I was focused on myself.
00:05:47
Ken Freire
Yeah, it's fascinating how there is this correlation between our behavior modifications, right? Or even just the willpower that we try to do things and try to get freedom on our own.
00:05:59
Ken Freire
When God is like, there's actually a a way better and easier path. And that's to lay down our lives and be submitted to him and letting the Holy Spirit's power work through us. Right?
00:06:09
Matt Cline
Yeah.
00:06:09
Ken Freire
That's what I'm hearing you say. It's like, this is what I ultimately did was to lay down my life and lay down my desires. But I have noticed that many men have a hard time doing that.
00:06:18
Ken Freire
Why do you think that is?
00:06:21
Matt Cline
I'll give a very flat answer. I think it's because we don't know how come alive and our relationship with Jesus. And maybe some people listening are like, oh, I've been in church my whole life and I've been a Christian and I've heard this stuff and that doesn't work for me.
00:06:33
Matt Cline
And I would just suggest to you that there's a level of intimacy with Christ that is so profound that a lot of people, like probably 90 plus percent of people in the church don't understand. And it's foreign to them.
00:06:45
Matt Cline
even for me, like there's more that I don't understand and that I haven't experienced. But to continue pursuing Jesus is so powerful. So in Colossians 3, it says that you are dead. You are dead. Like spiritually speaking, it says we are dead because we were died with Christ or we were died or were put to death.
00:07:03
Matt Cline
with the death of Jesus. it says, Christ is our life. So we are alive in Christ. So first we're dead, then we're alive in Christ. And then it says, put to death therefore the things of the flesh and sexual immorality is listed there.
00:07:17
Matt Cline
So what do we try to do? We try to hold on to our pleasure and we try to hold on to our comfort and hold on to control while knowing in our head that we should put things to death, that we should quit certain behaviors, quit certain sins.
00:07:32
Matt Cline
There's addictions we want to get out of our life. We try to quit these things without first going, what does it actually look like? to be dead to myself and to be alive in Christ.
True Intimacy Beyond Behavior
00:07:42
Matt Cline
Because if we're not fully close with him, intimate with him and doing it in in Jesus-centered way, all it is is behavior modification and we're going to lose the battle every single time.
00:07:53
Matt Cline
And that's why people go for years and decades trying to heal wounds and trying to quit behaviors and trying to change what they're doing and quit addictions.
00:08:04
Matt Cline
But never focusing on the intimacy with Christ and then ultimately feeling like, oh, I'm not good enough. I've tried this. Maybe it works for other people. And then we take on even more shame and feel more defeated.
00:08:15
Matt Cline
And this cycle is so damaging. So I think it's so important for us to understand the difference between simply changing behavior and then doing it in a Jesus-centered way.
00:08:25
Ken Freire
Yeah, so walk us through that Jesus-centered way because when you talk about intimacy, the reality is most guys, when they think about intimacy, they just think sex, right? That's the PC word in Christian world when you're like preaching from a pulpit of how you want to use the word sex is intimacy.
00:08:34
Matt Cline
Yeah.
00:08:41
Matt Cline
ye
00:08:42
Ken Freire
But you're using it a different way where it's like intimacy with Christ looks so much more profound, so much deeper than just sex.
00:08:50
Matt Cline
Well, and sex points to it. Sex points in such a profound way.
00:08:52
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:08:54
Matt Cline
So in Genesis 4, verse 1, it's the very first thing that happens in a broken world. So and Eve get kicked out of the garden. It says, Adam knew his wife Eve. They make love. And so the very first thing that happened was they had sex and God's not a prude, right?
00:09:06
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:09:07
Matt Cline
Like he names it and just says,
00:09:10
Matt Cline
What they did, and I love it. But that word new is yada in the Hebrew. It's Y-A-D-A, yada. So Adam, yada, his wife, Eve. And so sexual intercourse is a picture of this deep knowing. And fact, it's the pinnacle of of human intimacy.
00:09:28
Matt Cline
And so then when we look at what scripture says about our intimacy with Jesus, it's the same thing. Like Jesus says, this is eternal life that you know the Father. It's that word yada.
00:09:39
Matt Cline
It's this picture that sex can give us about what a greater covenant looks like. Jesus says in in scripture where people like, hey, I've done all of these things. Now I should go into heaven thinking workspace. And he's going, yeah, but get away from me. I never knew you.
00:09:53
Matt Cline
It's this, I never knew you had this intimate knowing between you and me that sex can point to. And so this intimacy is so important. And so if you think about like that statement is profound, this is eternal life that you would know the father.
00:10:09
Matt Cline
That's an intimacy that is so important in our life. Now, what is the enemy's plan for our life? Our spiritual enemy says, I want nothing more than to separate you from the father. And so what is the pinnacle on this earth what intimacy looks like? It's sexual intercourse between a man and a woman in marriage.
00:10:27
Matt Cline
sexual intercourse represents physical, emotional, and spiritual unity. And so sex has so much power. What we have or what we do with our bodies has so much power in relation to our spiritual oneness with Christ.
00:10:42
Matt Cline
No wonder then there's so much perversion and counterfeit sexuality in this world because the enemy wants us to know nothing about what true intimacy looks like. And so intimacy is not simply sex.
00:10:55
Matt Cline
Sexual intimacy should be the pinnacle of what true intimacy looks like when there's spiritual, emotional, or or relational intimacy in marriage. And then that consummates it.
00:11:06
Matt Cline
But intimacy with the Lord is not a sexual thing. In fact, sex just points to a greater covenant and a greater intimacy that we can have where we simply just walk as one. We walk knowing that we are the righteousness of Christ, as it says. And we know how to abide in him and delight ourselves in him. And he is in us.
00:11:24
Matt Cline
And that word in is just everywhere in scripture, just like a husband enters into the bride.
00:11:31
Ken Freire
You know, what's fascinating that I found for most men is that struggle with it. They love sex. They love the the endorphins, right?
00:11:38
Matt Cline
Yeah.
00:11:38
Ken Freire
The ecstasy that comes from it. And always tell them, do you guys realize that that is a shadow of what the Lord wants to give you? Like he's the substance, right? So like no matter how good things are in this world, it's just a shadow of what's to come.
00:11:53
Matt Cline
Yeah.
00:11:54
Ken Freire
And that's where like the beautiful intimacy, like truly being known by God that he knows you and you know him. I think it's in Galatians where where he says, not that you know me, it's that knows you, right?
00:12:07
Matt Cline
Yeah.
00:12:07
Ken Freire
Or the way Paul says it. And I'm just always fascinated by that. Like, oh man, God knows me. And because he knows me, I can now just freely go to him and just share like, here's everything that's going on in my life.
00:12:18
Ken Freire
And it's like, not that superficial knowing, right? Where it's just like, oh yeah, I know this is where he works. It's like, no, no, I know every facet about you. I know every hair in your head. right? Like I know the day you're going to die. Like he knows all those things.
00:12:32
Ken Freire
And it gives me freedom to pursue God. But one thing, Matt, that you you kind of implied is that sex, right? It points us to Christ. and And sex is one of our desires.
00:12:44
Ken Freire
But something that you and I were talking about a while back was that like desire, ah that sexual desire has a purpose. And it's to point us to God. Can you unpack a little bit more on how guys end up taking that sexual desire and distorting it to not go to God, but go to other things.
00:13:03
Matt Cline
Yeah, like we we we think in life and we read scripture through the lens of works, basically. And so you're talking about behavior change earlier.
00:13:09
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:13:12
Matt Cline
Like see these instructions in scripture and we think, oh, I need to do this thing. And it's all about behavior. What Christ says is he's like, it's actually about your heart and about being unified with me.
00:13:23
Matt Cline
And so one example would be flee sexual immorality. This is 1 Corinthians 6. And so flee sexual immorality. So what do a lot of us do? A lot of us, we hear this command and we're like, okay, if I'm tempted in my bedroom, I got to leave my phone.
00:13:35
Matt Cline
I got to go for a run. I got to do pushups. I got to call accountability. Just do whatever I can physically in terms of my works to flee sexual immorality.
00:13:41
Ken Freire
Thank you.
00:13:44
Matt Cline
But if you see that instruction or that verse through the lens of a spiritual covenant in Christ, then you know that he doesn't just look at the works or the outside of a person. He looks at the inner man.
00:13:56
Matt Cline
And so 2 Timothy 2.22 says, This is like pursue the reality that you are the righteousness of God. Pursue righteous living.
00:14:05
Matt Cline
Pursue ah ah growing in faith. Growing in love. Pursue receiving his peace in that moment. That's an internal. It's speaking to an internal condition in our hearts that God can come and fulfill and satisfy.
00:14:15
Ken Freire
Thank you.
00:14:18
Matt Cline
And so our sexual desire... flee sexual immorality actually can lead us right to the arms of Jesus where we can experience righteousness, faith, love, peace. So when we look at it through a workspace perspective, I look at scripture and life through that way.
00:14:33
Matt Cline
It's so destructive and actually exhausting. But when guys learn this new way of inviting Jesus into center of their sexuality, man, the way that we fight is just different.
00:14:43
Matt Cline
Like we can have this, this delightful relationship with Jesus that grows in the context of our sexuality. So the way that to to simplify it in a maybe different way and is is in terms of what does this look like for us to have sexuality point to Jesus?
00:15:01
Matt Cline
I used to think like my body is physical or I would believe the lie that we have sexual needs. And so like, man, I got this like physical desire, these sexual needs in my body and God's not physical.
00:15:13
Matt Cline
So how the heck can he come and satisfy that? That doesn't make any sense to me. But when I read, when I then read 1 Corinthians 6, it says that just as by the power of God, Jesus was raised from the dead.
00:15:27
Matt Cline
and our bodies are members of Christ himself. I'm like, oh, so by the power of God, a physical body was raised from the dead. Surely he can then get me through a moment of temptation, even though he's not physical.
00:15:38
Ken Freire
yeah
00:15:40
Matt Cline
So we need to look beneath the surface and go, okay, this is not just a physical desire that I have. It's actually on a heart level, revealing something in me that God wants to come and and heal and satisfy. So here's a story. Is,
00:15:54
Matt Cline
One time I was in the midst of temptation and considering going to porn. And I just sensed pretty clearly, God say to me, you want to be sexually desired right now.
00:16:05
Matt Cline
And I was like, oh, wow. Like I thought my desire was to see naked people having sex. Like I thought that's what my desire was. And if you ask most people hooked on porn, that's what they'll tell you.
00:16:15
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:16:15
Matt Cline
But really on a heart level, my desire was to be sexually desired. And so I could then take that. and start praising God and saying, God, thank you so much that you desire me and you desire me so much that you sent your son to die for me on the cross and pay the highest price. And i i start praising him for his ability and his desire to satisfy my heart's desire.
00:16:39
Matt Cline
So Psalm 37, four says, delight yourself in the Lord. That's that word in, you're in him. Delight yourself in the Lord. He will give you the desires of your heart. So every time that we have a sexual desire or an urge, it can point to the Lord actually satisfying us on a heart level, which then brings peace to the body and we don't need to go to sin anymore.
00:16:59
Ken Freire
Matt, what are those maybe desire manifestations, right? Or triggers that you might say like, oh, these are actually things that are trying to tell you, hey, come to God.
00:17:09
Ken Freire
Or like you were saying, I felt like I wanted to be wanted, right?
Triggers and Deeper Desires
00:17:13
Ken Freire
That was one of the triggers. Are there any other triggers that you have noticed men have or patterns that men have that you're like, oh, if you see this, this is a direct correlation to go to God.
00:17:25
Matt Cline
Yeah, man, any trigger, any trigger that it is, it could be a visual trigger.
00:17:28
Ken Freire
Ha ha ha.
00:17:29
Matt Cline
It could be a visual trigger. Man, it's so important that guys know scripture. Like this is the whole thing that I kind of battle against with our... with a lot of the people that we work with is guys are like, I've been in recovery for six years or 20 years or 30 years. I've been in recovery. I just can't shake it because we're relying on emotional healing being the thing to quit sin. And once I've healed all of my trauma, then I'll be able to quit.
00:17:55
Matt Cline
But scripture doesn't say slowly back away from sin as you heal things. It's like, no, crucify it. So, that it has to be a mindset shift to go to, oh, what does this look like for Christ actually to be central and to be satisfactory in my life?
00:18:10
Matt Cline
And so with the triggers, what it can look like is, you know, scripture, you know, in Romans one, in various places, it talks about, ah we worship the created being rather than the creator.
00:18:23
Matt Cline
Okay, so what's then the clue here? It says in that Romans one, you exchange the truth of God for a lie, And then he turns us over to dishonorable behavior with our bodies.
00:18:35
Matt Cline
And so if we know that we exchange the truth of God for a lie and we worship the creative being rather than the creator, then what's the truth? Every time there's a visual trigger, I can go just like you just said.
00:18:46
Matt Cline
was like, oh, that's just a glimmer of the beauty that you are, Father. Man, you are much more beautiful. Open my eyes to seeing your beauty. in a new way and then we can pray for that person remember flee and flee and pursue love so pray for that person thank you so much god that you put them on my path and i get to pray for them right now and so whatever the trigger is can point you to christ and then on an emotional level think about whatever you're trying numb out so guys will try to numb out the feeling of insignificance of disrespect of rejection of feeling alone
00:19:23
Matt Cline
So what's the inverse of that? If you're alone, maybe you really want connection. If you're rejected, maybe you really want intimacy. If you're feeling insignificant like I did, maybe you just want to know that you're significant.
00:19:37
Matt Cline
And so that points to the longing on your heart. Too often the language about quitting porn is, hey, know your triggers and know how to kind of get them out of your life.
00:19:48
Matt Cline
Know how to manage your triggers. But what would happen if you actually looked at the trigger highlighting the desire that your heart has? Then all of a sudden, okay, I feel rejected right now.
00:19:59
Matt Cline
That means I'm desiring maybe respect or connection, whatever it is. thank you so much, Lord, that you respect me so much and that you value my words and that you pursue me no matter what. And you are closer than a brother.
00:20:11
Matt Cline
And you literally just praised him and you thank him for the truth that he can bring into your life. All of a sudden, triggers are like not even a big deal anymore. And in fact, it's something that's really good because it leads to greater satisfaction and peace that the Lord can give you.
00:20:26
Ken Freire
Yeah, man, Matt, I remember a time when I was going through my recovery and I've been free from it now for over 16, 17 years now. Like it's been quite a, it's been quite some time now that I don't even remember the exact date. Right. But I remember when I was struggling, I had that feeling when I realized that most of my triggers were either stress or loneliness.
00:20:48
Ken Freire
Like when I felt lonely, I didn't know what to do. And I'm an extrovert, right? So I was like, let's go hang out with people. Let's go find someone to talk Let's, you know, it was behavior modification because even though i was hanging out with believers, right?
00:21:01
Ken Freire
When I was alone, all of a sudden the temptation came back.
00:21:05
Ken Freire
Right. And it wasn't into, I got to that place where I was like, wait a minute, there's deeper longing here for connection that that humans can't satisfy. God designed us to be with humans, but there was something much more deeper where Christ was saying, hey, come into the deeper waters with me, right? Come enjoy the Holy Spirit in in a way that you've never encountered me before.
00:21:27
Matt Cline
Love
00:21:28
Ken Freire
And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is scary and it's hard, right? Because I'm someone who likes boundaries. I kind of like to know where I'm going.
00:21:34
Matt Cline
Yeah.
00:21:36
Ken Freire
And he's like, no, no, no. We're going to go through seasons of life that you're just going to have to hold on tight, buckle up, but it's going be the most beautiful and dependent spirit-led life that you're going to enjoy.
00:21:43
Matt Cline
Yeah.
00:21:50
Matt Cline
I love
00:21:51
Ken Freire
But man, when I started doing that, it's kind of like, oh, when I felt that loneliness, it was like, this is me. My heart actually telling me haven't been intimate with God.
00:22:02
Matt Cline
love it.
00:22:02
Ken Freire
I've been trying to do it with other things. So now I'm like, okay, let's grab my Bible. Let's pray for a few minutes. Let's just reconnect and like, okay, Lord, am reminded that I am in you. You are in me. Like we are completely united in Christ. This is a beautiful truth. I love that you keep going back to that because it's, it's the foundation, right?
00:22:19
Ken Freire
Like without that, we missed the whole thing and we ended up being in workspace, you know, Christianity versus a grace-based mentality.
00:22:19
Matt Cline
Yeah.
00:22:25
Matt Cline
Exactly.
00:22:26
Ken Freire
So I love where you're going with that, man. And so, Matt, as men are listening to us just talk about this, and I think you and I could talk about this for hours, right? You keep pointing them back to scripture.
00:22:36
Ken Freire
But I know that there are men who are listening to this and they just feel stuck in shame or secrecy right now.
Confession, Healing, and Vulnerability
00:22:44
Ken Freire
As we wrap up, what would you want him to hear before we end?
00:22:50
Matt Cline
Well, every, literally every event we go to where we do assessments, over 50% of the men have sexual shame over their sexual past and have secrets, sexual secrets that they've never told anybody.
00:23:05
Matt Cline
And ah ah every event that we've ever done it, done these assessments, it's over half the people. I think those two things go hand in hand together. You were talking about this beautiful relationship with the Father where you can just be open with Him about everything.
00:23:22
Matt Cline
Like Hebrews 4 says, everything is laid bare before Him. Everything is already exposed. He already knows. If you're struggling with same-sex attraction or you're struggling with tendencies to bestiality or you have different things that are just so perverted, maybe fantasies that you have are violent.
00:23:39
Matt Cline
Maybe it's just normal, but you think you're going to feel judged. Whatever it is that you just feel like I can never tell anybody this. I just want you to know, like God only sees that as a hindrance to you receiving his love.
00:23:52
Matt Cline
And he is desperate for you get that out. so that you can receive his love. And used to say when I came out of sin, like, yeah, God had to deal with me. And I felt like one day the Lord just said to me, I wasn't dealing with you, Matt.
00:24:04
Matt Cline
I was loving you. I was rescuing you. And remember this man was meeting with me and he said to me, hey, what do you want to talk about today? And I said, I don't know. I don't really know. It was kind of an accountability relationship. and And so he said, well, why don't you ask the Lord what he wants to say to you?
00:24:21
Matt Cline
And so I just took a moment. I literally just closed my eyes and said, God, do you want to say anything to me? And I listened. And I saw this bull in my mind's eye. saw this picture of a bull and I saw this hand scoop out this bull, except there was nothing in it.
00:24:34
Matt Cline
I had gotten rid of all of my secrets. I let out all of my shame, not just like, hey, I watched porn and hit it I masturbated and hit it. But it was like this was my fantasy life. This was what I struggle with. These were the longings that that I had in terms of, you know, my young adult years. And I thought that I missed out on sexual experiences and all of these thoughts and these fantasies that I had. I got it all out.
00:24:57
Matt Cline
And so I see this hand and God's essentially showing me, hey, your soul is clean. Like you have repented, you've confessed, it's great. And I said to the Lord, that's great, but I don't feel clean.
00:25:10
Matt Cline
And I remember clearly he said, I know you don't, but the more you confess and the more you share your story, the more you're going to get healed. And so scripture says like through repentance, we're made right, but it's through confessing to one another that we end praying for each other that we get healing.
00:25:27
Matt Cline
And so I want to to encourage you that there is such a safety in the presence of God that you can you bring anything to him. And then secondly, he will also bring people into your life that are not gonna judge you, not gonna shame you, but they're gonna love you, they're gonna show empathy, they're gonna sympathize with you.
00:25:45
Matt Cline
And you will notice when you start, if you're feeling hopeless right now, when you start even sharing just a little bit of your story, People are going to start opening up to you because they trust you.
00:25:56
Matt Cline
And vulnerability is is leadership. And you're going to see so much purpose that God is going to be bringing into your life in this area of sexual brokenness. Because he doesn't just see you as someone who's broken and too far gone.
00:26:08
Matt Cline
But he's like, no, I can use this. And I can use this person to impact other people. So if you're hopeless, I get it. I just want to encourage you to first seek the Father because there's such a safety there.
00:26:19
Matt Cline
Get in the scriptures and ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate things to you. And then really pray and believe that he's going to send people to you that are safe. and and And there's hope and you can get free.
00:26:31
Matt Cline
Ken, you've been free a long time. I haven't been free as long as you have, but I'm free of it. Like there's no temptations, like not even a thing in my life. But there were years where I couldn't even fathom that being the case. And so really a freedom that's available.
00:26:41
Ken Freire
Oh, yeah.
00:26:44
Ken Freire
You know, Matt, it's crazy to think, though, like, I know when I say like, oh, it's been 15, 16 years, but there are times when I'm like, man, I felt like it was just yesterday. You know, you think about it because when you've been in such deep darkness, in shame, it kind of gripped you for so long.
00:26:59
Matt Cline
Yeah.
00:27:00
Ken Freire
And I remember, like, I'll feel ashamed about some other stuff that I do, right?
00:27:00
Matt Cline
Yeah.
00:27:02
Ken Freire
Like, say if I fail at work at something, I tell people all the time, I'm a recovering perfectionist, right? Right. If I fail, I feel like if I fail, that's something I feel like I'm a failure.
00:27:11
Ken Freire
It's something I'm working through. Right. But that same shame can sometimes trigger my other shame. Like, oh, do you remember how you had all this sexual sin? And I'm like, well, that's the enemy coming in.
00:27:22
Ken Freire
I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. Right. Like, take that aside. like, no, I'm clean. But man. For those men who are hearing this, I want you to like, if you need to pause this, rewind not like a cassette tape, because most of them don't know what that is. Right.
00:27:37
Ken Freire
But like, listen to those beautiful truths that Matt just said, because it's, it's so inspiring to know that like confession with one another is going to be huge. Being made right with God, huge. Knowing your identity.
00:27:48
Ken Freire
So pivotal because it's just going to give you this heart of like, I can do this. Right.
00:27:53
Matt Cline
Yeah.
00:27:54
Ken Freire
And, uh, Matt, I don't know if you have a community. do You have a community, right? Remind me.
00:27:59
Matt Cline
It's called Pure Freedom Community. So it's purefc.ca is the website. It's for men over 18. Totally free to join.
00:28:06
Ken Freire
Great. So if you guys want, you can check out Matt's community. i have a community as well. i Join both communities, right? There's going to be great people. Like what you want to do is be around men. who are not just struggling, but also godly men who can help you through this, right? So like, if Matt, you have a community, I want all these people to go over there, check it out, right?
00:28:24
Ken Freire
It's free. It's to be beautiful to just be around men who are constantly feeding you the word and reminding you of your identity. And from a grace-based perspective and not workspace, because that's what you're going to need.
00:28:37
Ken Freire
Matt, as we wrap up here, man, do you have any final words or or or encouragement for people?
Living in Freedom Through Identity
00:28:43
Matt Cline
Yeah, man, you just talked about identity, which is one of my favorite things. And I just want to encourage people with that, that know your identity. You could ask, you could, you literally just go to God in prayer, say, what do you say about me?
00:28:55
Matt Cline
You could go to the scriptures and say, what does the Bible say about me? This is, this is a deal. We think that we struggle with temptations with, with sexual temptations. We don't struggle with that nearly as much as we struggle with knowing our identity.
00:29:09
Matt Cline
So Adam and Eve are made in the image and the likeness of God. What is the first thing Satan does? He goes, hey, if you eat this thing, then you will be like God, totally forgetting their identity.
00:29:19
Matt Cline
What does a father say to Jesus? This is my son with whom I'm well pleased. What's the very first words of the first temptation to Jesus? If you are the son of God, And so we think the temptation was turning stones to bread because he's fasting and hungry.
00:29:32
Matt Cline
We think the temptation is a sexual sin. Actually, the temptation is, hey, I want to tempt tempt this person to forget who God says they are. Man, when you know who God says you are, is amazing.
00:29:45
Matt Cline
It's an amazing truth to live in. And we struggle with it because it's not common sense and it's not logical. actually doesn't even make any sense. Like Colossians 1.22 says, Because of the cross of Christ, he considers us pure and blameless and above reproach and holy.
00:30:00
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:30:02
Matt Cline
Like what? But that's what he says about us. So I want to encourage you listeners, if you're feeling discouraged, what does God say about you? That is a rock solid truth. And even when we're in sin,
00:30:15
Matt Cline
He never comes and calls us an addict. He comes and he says, hey, this is who you are. You are my beloved child. And so get rooted in the word and get rooted in your identity and pursue intimacy with Jesus. It's going to transform your whole life.
00:30:29
Ken Freire
Matt, that was like a massive truth bomb. Like, I just want people to hear that. Like, even just thinking about Jesus, right? When he felt like, that's huge, right? Like, uh, when you were talking about God, when he first spoke to him, like he's my son when I'm all pleased when he goes into the wilderness, it's like, oh my gosh, you're right.
00:30:45
Ken Freire
Like, it's always a temptation to forget your identity. I think, uh, Paul Tripp says it best where he was like, it's identity amnesia that we struggle with.
00:30:54
Ken Freire
Right. Matt, for those of people who are like, I love how how you're spitting truth and they want to get to know you more, whether it's within your community or just talk to you or free resources, what's the best place they can reach out to you?
Resources for Freedom and Healing
00:31:08
Matt Cline
everything's at the website. Restoredministries.ca is the website. So there's events, there's courses. Just starting a YouTube channel. i a podcast for four years. We had a big global audience and the Lord led me out of that. But And I miss it, miss my buddy that I would co-host with. But now we're doing YouTube. So that's on the website. And then there's courses, if if courses and group coaching, one-on-one coaching. So if you want to get any personal coaching, even marriage coaching, feel free to book a call on the website and we'll help you out.
00:31:38
Matt Cline
Yeah, lot of resources there. So restoredministries.ca.
00:31:42
Ken Freire
I love it. Matt, thank you so much for being a part of the Shameless Podcast. Thank you so much for helping so many men be free. And and love it that you're just focused on intimacy, crucifying the flesh, and making sure people walk in their identity.
00:31:57
Ken Freire
So for those of you who are listening, I implore you go to check out Matt Klein's website, restoredministries.ca. It's all going on the show notes. And as we wrap up here, I just want to remind you, like, hey, your desire was first created by God and distorted by the fall.
00:32:09
Matt Cline
Thank you.
00:32:10
Ken Freire
But the beautiful part of the gospel is that it renewed your desires. And these God-given desires are meant to lead you to the one who could actually satisfy your soul. So don't settle for the shadow, right? Go to the substance, Jesus.
00:32:25
Ken Freire
Pursue intimacy. And if this conversation is stirring something in you, take the next steps towards healing and wholeness today. Find someone you can connect with. Get the healing you need.
00:32:36
Ken Freire
And remember to kill shame, stand strong, and be on mission. Hope you guys have a great day and God bless.