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How Gut Health Can Strengthen Your Resolve Against Temptation w/ Frank Rich
93 Plays1 year ago
In this powerful episode of the Shame(less) Podcast, Ken Freire is joined by Frank Rich, founder of Rebuilt Recovery and host of The Rebuilt Man podcast. Frank shares his transformative journey from addiction and shame to freedom and purpose. He introduces his holistic approach to recovery, which uniquely integrates faith, fitness, and gut health to empower men to reclaim their God-given purpose.
Frank discusses how aligning the body, mind, and spirit strengthens resolve against temptation, why gut health is critical for mental clarity and self-discipline, and how small, intentional actions can lead to lasting freedom. Whether you're struggling with addiction or seeking to live with greater purpose, this episode offers actionable insights to help you take the next step.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How Frank’s early exposure to pornography shaped his journey of addiction and recovery.
- The pivotal role faith played in Frank’s transformation and his decision to surrender to Christ in 2018.
- Why gut health is foundational for mental clarity, emotional resilience, and resisting temptation.
- Frank’s unique framework for recovery, combining faith, behavioral science, and holistic health.
- Practical steps to improve gut health and build discipline, including fasting and eliminating processed foods.
- The importance of integrating faith from the start of your recovery journey.
- How small, consistent wins can rebuild confidence and self-perception.
Key Quotes:
- “Life is hard. Choose your hard. Being stuck in addiction is hard. Building discipline is hard. But one of these paths leads to freedom.” – Coach Frank
- “Faith isn’t a fallback for when we fail; it’s the foundation for everything we do.” – Ken Freire
- “Restore your gut health, and you’ll restore your ability to think clearly, act decisively, and fight temptation.” – Coach Frank
Practical Steps to Start Today:
- Begin with a Fast: Try a 48-72 hour fast to gain mental clarity and understand your triggers.
- Eliminate Processed Foods: Remove sugars and processed carbs from your diet and replace them with whole foods, such as lean meats, fruits, and vegetables.
- Stack Small Wins: Commit to one small habit change, like cutting out soda or going for a daily walk, and build from there.
- Integrate Faith Daily: Start your day by asking God for guidance and strength, making Him the foundation of your transformation.
Resources Mentioned:
- Rebuilt Recovery (Free community for resources and training)
- Frank Rich on Instagram
- Surfing for God by Michael John Cusick (A must-read for those battling addiction)
Connect with Frank Rich:
- Instagram: @coachfrankrich
- YouTube: Coach Frank Rich
- Free Community: The Rebuilt Man
Connect with Ken Freire:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kenfreire
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kenneth.freire
Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kenfreire
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Transcript
Intro
Introduction & Themes
00:00:30
Ken Freire
All right, everybody. Welcome back to another Shameless Podcast episode where we explore real conversations around shame, addiction, and the journey to reclaim your God-given purposes.
Frank Rich's Unique Approach
00:00:45
Ken Freire
Today, we're joined by Frank Rich, the founder of Rebuilt Recovery and the podcast, The Rebuilt Man, who is pioneering a unique approach to overcoming porn addiction by combining faith with fitness. Frank's methods integrates the often overlooking points of gut health as a foundation of mental clarity, self-discipline, and spiritual enlightenment. In this episode, we're going to do a deep dive into how just aligning your body, mind, and spirit can help strengthen your resolve against temptation and lead to lasting freedom.
Vision for a Gym & Pet Rescue
00:01:18
Ken Freire
Frank, welcome to the show, man. Super excited to have you.
00:01:21
Coach Frank
Ken, thanks for having me here, brother. Grateful to be here today, man.
00:01:25
Ken Freire
Yeah, man. And ah before we jump into our conversation, can you just tell audience something fun about you that most people wouldn't know unless they're really good friends with you?
00:01:34
Coach Frank
Yeah, well, that's probably gonna be everybody listening to this, right? May know a few of the people that are checking this one out, but
00:01:41
Coach Frank
You know, it's funny because people will see me, right? And it's like, I'm this big, know, six foot three, 245 pound, you know, former bodybuilder, like I carry a presence and like there's an aura to me, especially if you kind of get me in my elements, maybe there's an aggressive nature to some of the things I'm very passionate about a handful of things in this world. So I think one thing that people maybe wouldn't know is the love that I have for animals. And in fact, this is my first time sharing this in like a public platform. But I have this dream. I believe it's going to happen probably within the next five years to open up a gym that seconds as a nonprofit.
00:02:21
Coach Frank
pet rescue rescue ah called lift heavy
Frank's Personal Journey with Addiction
00:02:25
Coach Frank
pet dogs. So we would sell gym memberships. It'd be an open forum where people could bring their dogs to the gym if they wanted to, but we would also have rescues that would be there as a part of the facility. If somebody fell in love with one of the pups while training, they would have the option to adopt the pet and and take them home. So everything I do to help men is leading me towards hopefully one day that being my future.
00:02:50
Ken Freire
Dude, that's awesome, man. I was not expecting that at all. But it's such a cool thing to be like, you know what? I want to take care of God's creations and animals. So I love it.
00:02:59
Coach Frank
And people's bodies. I mean, it's combining so many of the things that I've dedicated my life to with health, with fitness, with service, with giving back.
00:03:01
Ken Freire
And people's bodies, yeah.
00:03:09
Coach Frank
And yeah, I think i i all animals are are amazing. I think what's the meme? You see the puppy that's sitting the shopping cart. It's like, I'll send them without wings so nobody will know that they're angels. I've had many moments looking into a dog's eyes where you feel a divine connection there. So yeah, there's something special there.
00:03:28
Ken Freire
That's cool, man. Well, I know that you have a unique perspective to our conversation today about helping men break through from freedom and porn, but I want to hear your story first, man. How did you start struggling? What what of ended up happening? Just share your story for those of people who might not have heard it before.
00:03:47
Coach Frank
Yeah, I appreciate that, Canon. I think as the people listening will maybe learn today, not only do I have a unique perspective on maybe recovery and freedom, I think I have a unique perspective on the world. But to answer the question, my struggle with with pornography i started as a young, very, very young boy. I first saw it at six years old.
00:04:08
Coach Frank
fortunate and grateful that I didn't grow up in in in today's technology and kind of the smartphone world. Because what I saw at six was a magazine, I didn't have real access to the internet and real high streaming stuff until I was already in my 20s. But that early exposure definitely planted seeds of curiosity. It also kind of taught the behavior of like hiding things and keeping things secret, at a young age is can be part nature, but when you kind of learn that it's okay and you kind of begin to really pair that with the guilt and shame, which I love the name of your podcast here. So six years old, early introduction, signs of addictive behavior. I can, you know, see retroactively looking back through my teenage years just with how it was going about finding things. But the struggle got real in, in my twenties. And that was at the rise of obviously technology, the internet, social media, So, struggled deeply with it in my 20s and 30s, the classic hiding it from girlfriends, struggling with erectile dysfunction, suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety, leaving social events, hiding things, other things that were, you know, a byproduct of this addiction.
00:05:23
Coach Frank
Not addressing a lot of this for a long time. I think buying the lie that pornography is normal, it's a rite of passage, it's something that every guy does, but also at the same time knowing that there was something unique about my behavior, because I would i find ways to leave public settings or literally skip out on social events just to stay home and watch porn. So around my mid-30s, early to mid-30s,
00:05:49
Coach Frank
Life got a little dark. I went through kind of a business high and then a pretty big failure. that I could probably point back to a lot of it due to my behavior. Once again, not addressing it for for a real long time. And then a series of events kind of brought me to my faith in 2018. And I think that was the beginning of this journey that I've been on for the last
The Birth of 'The Superman Life' Podcast
00:06:11
Coach Frank
six years. So, mean, it literally was six years ago in a week as the recording of this podcast, October 22nd, 2018.
00:06:19
Coach Frank
in Orlando, Florida is when I gave my life to Christ. And that was the first step in me beginning to pull back a lot of the layers and how I was showing up, who I was presenting myself to be to the world. Because there was this image of Frank, who he was, and then there was a truth about Frank. So starting to live in integrity, starting to really be truthful about who I was, God started to really tug at me. And in in next year, I made a lot of life changes, starting with alcohol, starting with abstinence, cleaning up some some some relationships and pornography was really this last
00:06:57
Coach Frank
thorn that I needed to remove. And and that day came February 14th, 2019. So in a short window of time from giving my life to Christ to experiencing real freedom, like a change of the heart, a change of the desire to even want to go look at this. And then as I started to walk in freedom, my world started to change. So this is where like my I think understanding of recovery really started was through my experience I didn't set out to like become a different person because I quit porn but it was like as my brain started to heal and rewire and my heart started to change I'm like I started to see the world through a completely different lens and that led me to
00:07:39
Coach Frank
really wanting to share my story and that and launched a podcast in 2019 called the Superman life. You know, back then this conversation wasn't really regular there there, there weren't a lot of episodes and podcasts like yours that were out there. So I think the fact that it was open vulnerable, but I also think some of my presence in energy and even some of the things I've done before like got me to allowed allowed me to speak about these things in certain rooms and in with certain people that maybe wouldn't have happened if it wasn't if it wasn't me and I i don't say that like
00:08:14
Coach Frank
righteously by any nature but I do look back as kind of being like a pioneer in those early days for this conversation. So the podcast got picked up and then it just kind of really started to take off and guys started reaching out for help.
Holistic Recovery Framework
00:08:27
Coach Frank
I was hesitant about coaching. I was running a marketing agency and things were really happening very quickly January 2020 right before the world shut down, which is so unique to think that like this problem I started really helping guys with right before it became an even bigger problem with the lockdowns and everything. But that was the story, man. I know I kind of went all over the place there. The struggle with pornography was 20 plus years. Freedom was something that I never expected in in life. and that led me to, like I said, launching the podcast and then doing the coaching thereafter.
00:09:04
Ken Freire
Yeah. Man, I know there's so much we could dig into in your story, but there's one thing I want to hone in before we get into kind of your framework of how you started to get recovery. You said in 2018, you got saved. You surrendered your life to Christ. What was kind of the catalyst to all of a sudden say, you know what?
00:09:24
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:09:26
Ken Freire
I need God. Because from the outside perspective, it sounded like things were going great. You were a bodybuilder, right? You were in shape. Everything was looking good for your life, if I heard that correctly, right?
00:09:35
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:09:37
Ken Freire
got a marketing agency. like got all this stuff going on, but still, you were done hiding. I'm just curious, what happened that made you surrender and just say, Lord, I need you?
00:09:41
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:09:45
Coach Frank
Yeah, man, there's this credible book called Surfing for God, Michael John Cusick. And it's a book that we recommend. We should require every single one of our students and and clients to read it because the book changed my life back in 2018. And Michael quotes G.K. Chesterton.
00:10:01
Coach Frank
in the book. .K. Chesterton, Christian theologian, philosopher, I think he was a spy too, really unique background. But he had this quote, it's like the late 1800s, when a man knocks on a brothel door, he's knocking for God. And Michael kind of takes that quote and brings it fast forward to today's society and world that every time we go to the internet, every time we go to one of these hub type sites that a man is trying to fill an empty hole in his heart through connection, through false intimacy with pornography, with lust or with brothels back in the day. You know, I think for me, can filling that hole in my life led me to bodybuilding, led me to business, led me to marketing.
00:10:42
Coach Frank
led me to personal development in in my 20s. I was curious as a young boy about the world. I was curious about things that most people in my life and family were not discussing. I witnessed a lot of addiction. I witnessed a lot of pain. I witnessed a lot of emotional abuse growing up. And I think it shaped my perception of the world in a very unique way.
00:11:08
Coach Frank
So when I reached the top of the world in bodybuilding and still had an empty hole in my life, I ran to something else. When I reached the top of the world in material possessions and still had an empty hole in my heart, I ran to something else. When I don't want to say reach the top of the world with alcohol and drugs, that I really reached the bottom of hell, but still had an empty hole in my heart with all of those things. I saw that there was only one other thing that I hadn't pursued.
00:11:35
Coach Frank
And it was filling that hole with the only thing that can't fill it, ah which was God. So I've been on this journey for 20 years trying to look at the world and material things to fill ultimately what only he can do. Now that led me into business masterminds. And because I was open and because I believe God was directing a lot of these steps, looking back, Ken, God's hand was on my life many times through my 20s and 30s as a non-believer.
00:12:01
Coach Frank
therere I only got out of situations because I believe he had a bigger purpose for my life. And there's so many people that know me personally that could vouch for these things. But that's how I see my life in the world as he was always leading me to do the work that I do today. Now, there was incredible influence by a handful of men between 2017 and 2018 that ultimately led me to that. But I believe it was divinely orchestrated.
00:12:29
Coach Frank
But a handful of guys, Vince Del Monte, his father Papa Looch, my best friend in the world and mentor Josh Cascadore. Those guys played a significant role in it. But I was always trying to chase something that I found out in 2018 only he can fill.
00:12:48
Ken Freire
Bro, that's so amazing. Like, I love hearing that testimony because you knew it. Like, you're like, i i I've done all the performance things, right? I've looked physically great. I've pursued business entrepreneurship.
00:13:00
Ken Freire
You did everything and you're like, it still doesn't satisfy.
00:13:03
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:13:03
Ken Freire
And you had these amazing people to help you to kind of see like, well, Christ is the only one who satisfies. Now, fast forward, once you get saved, you started to kind of, you know, break through all of these habitual sins that you had, like alcohol, drugs. The last one was pornography. And when you started to do that, you actually started to find a unique way
Gut Health & Mental Clarity
00:13:25
Ken Freire
that for you worked really well, and then you started to help men walk through those struggles. Kind of walk us through a little bit of that unique framework that of yours that you started to see healing in your own life.
00:13:37
Coach Frank
Yeah, man, you know, I say with rebuilt recovery, we've created, you know, the world's only fully integrated holistic approach to porn addiction recovery. And it's, it's, truthfully, I believe a collection in a byproduct of my life's work and journey. So I started the podcast 2019. I kind of felt this calling. I'd always wanted to be a podcast star since about 2015, 2016. I was deep into the space. I had attended a couple of events. I had a few friends that were running shows.
00:14:10
Coach Frank
The drive and want to have this platform of communication for me was always there. Now there was this story that could start as the framework in the platform for me hosting regular conversations. But as I got about 30, 40 episodes in and I was fortunate to get connected and begin to interview a lot of experts in different domains, in psychology, in behavioral science, in neuroscience, in the world of faith, paired with a background in business entrepreneurship understanding leadership development understanding a background in training behavioral science myself as well. So as I'm doing this, I'm looking at my life. I'm looking at the things that had helped me previously in all the different domains that I had succeeded in right because
00:14:53
Coach Frank
There's, there's something to these, what I call success principles. Like if you can leverage certain behavioral, because we're human beings, we behave. And and we're going to succeed in a way, you have to understand the role that humans behavior play in producing certain outcomes. Now that's one part.
00:15:10
Coach Frank
puzzle you have to understand what drives a person want to behave in a certain way You got to understand the the faith component like are you acting in alignment with what God would want you to do there? how do you show up optimally from a nutrition and kind of Health output standpoint, so I started to see all these unique principles then I look back at okay Well, how did I actually get free like yes? There was there was the surrender to my life to Christ, but I still had to show up daily. So what were the things that I was doing? So I looked back at my documented journey. I i began to look at the unique similarities in the people that we were
00:15:55
Coach Frank
interviewing and then when I started coaching so guys reached out and asked me for help like I didn't go try to create this program guys said they wanted it and I said sure I'll be the guy that will test it with you and that's really what I did I looked at what worked for me I looked at what was working in all these different domains And I came up with kind of a holistic framework that understands a role that our gut health plays in how our brain fires, that understands behavioral science, that understands the role of self-perception and identity, that understands how all these things kind of synergistically work together to produce one human being that's got to live here and operate in the world. So that was kind of the foundation for it. But like like I said, I think what makes it unique is
00:16:43
Coach Frank
when I've looked at people that are successful or people that are helping people out there, nobody's pulling on all like someone have a few of these components. I believe we're the only one that's truly figured out a way to kind of integrate it all together.
00:16:57
Ken Freire
Yeah. I think that one of those unique aspects is the gut health, right?
00:17:01
Coach Frank
Mm hmm.
00:17:01
Ken Freire
Because you talk a lot about health and nutrition. And I mean, I've been in this space for years and I've never really heard someone talk about that aspect, which is true. Like I was like, oh, health is important, right?
00:17:12
Ken Freire
Like if you're mentally sharp, you're emotionally there, you're more resilient. It's easier to fight against temptation.
00:17:17
Ken Freire
But that's why when you and I first talked, I was like, oh man, we got to talk about this topic, right? So walk us through how does strengthening gut health change how men feel about themselves and their confidence?
00:17:23
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:17:30
Ken Freire
And maybe first before that actually is like, why is gut health so important? Let's talk about that actually first.
00:17:34
Coach Frank
Yeah, no, I mean.
00:17:34
Ken Freire
Why is gut health so important?
00:17:36
Coach Frank
Yeah, that's a great question, man. And the more and more I spend time around this topic, the more I believe it may be the most important part of it. Hippocrates said it 2,500 years ago. All disease begins in the gut. Now, he had no modern science technology to tell him that. How did these Greek philosophers know such truth and wisdom? They got it from somewhere, right?
00:18:04
Coach Frank
Like in the fact that that quote has stood the test of time for over 2,500 years tells me that there's probably some universal truth in that foundational statement. All disease begins within the gut. I don't believe addiction is a disease. Anybody that holds onto that I believe is holding on to a limiting identity, but For a long time, the brain, I'm sorry, the gut was understood to be the second brain. And science is now more and more and more pointing to it to be the first brain. So everything that we put into our body goes into our gut first. You ever have a hangover and like you wake up in like your head, maybe you haven't, but those that have had a hangover, like knows that one thing that comes with a hangover is a massive pounding
00:18:48
Coach Frank
headache, like your brain feels like it's getting pounded on. Now, why is that? Because you didn't drink alcohol into your brain. It went into your gut. Well, everything that your brain produces and fires from a neurotransmitter level starts within your gut. What is a neurotransmitter? A neurotransmitter are the chemicals that fire within our brain, which produce certain emotions, oxytocin,
00:19:11
Coach Frank
feel good, dopamine, motivation, drive, pursuit, reward, oxytocin, serotonin, feel good, oxytocin, connection, all of that starts in your gut. The healthier your gut is, the healthier brain's ability to produce those healthy neurotransmitters. Now, what does that mean? If you have poor gut health, your brain produces poor neurotransmitters.
00:19:35
Coach Frank
like you eat bad food you maybe don't feel as good both physically but even mentally the next day you're a little bit slower alcohol little bit slower okay so if we understand that produces unhealthy outcomes what we could restore repair renew the inner lining of our gut aka our gut microbiome then both anecdotally and I think what the science is pointing to, your brain now begins to fire on a more operative, cognitively, healthier level. So by restoring the gut health, you're actually restoring the connection between the gut brain access, but also your brain's ability to operate more focused, more clearly, you think, yeah you feel better across the board, man. I mean, I can answer any followup there, but I think that is like a good, you know,
00:20:26
Coach Frank
30,000 foot framework for it.
00:20:29
Ken Freire
Yeah. Well, you know, Frank, when you were talking about it, I think about like, I believe it's Ephesians 6. I'm trying to remember the exact verse, but it says, stand strong in the Lord. Right? And it's talking about spiritual warfare. And when I hear this, is that like, if you're not taking care of your gut, it's really hard to actually stand strong in the Lord. Like, you can't actually stand because mentally and emotionally, you're not sharp. You're not ready for that. You're fatigued and so easy for you to fall into temptation.
00:20:55
Ken Freire
Right? Like even when I was laughing when you were talking about being hungover, I i have cut out all sugar. Right? Like extra sweets and stuff like that since May. So now it's October.
00:21:05
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:21:05
Ken Freire
Right? And if I ever have anything that has extra sugar in it by accident, dude, I have such a pounding headache and my body immediately is like shutting down. And I'm like, I don't want to talk to anyone. All of a sudden I'm irritable. I'm more frustrated. I'm more critical. And it was like, I just had a mango strip. It's not like I had like, you know, I had something crazy, but like that little thing changed, right? How I interact with my spiritual life and and the spiritual world and also just people. So I asked that because like, how does when you have that poor gut health, how does that start to affect people falling easier into temptation?
00:21:45
Coach Frank
Yeah, man, that's great. Well, you kind of said it, man. You Am I there now?
00:21:48
Ken Freire
Hey Frank, I think you just got muted.
00:21:52
Ken Freire
Yep. You could just start back from the part where you said that's a great question.
00:21:52
Coach Frank
Yeah, sorry about that. I don't...
00:21:57
Coach Frank
Yeah, I mean, he you said it right there, Ken. you When you don't eat good, you don't feel as good. You become more anxious. You become... less energetic, your cognitive processing ability slows down. So how's that going to lead to somebody falling into temptation? Here's the fact that every single person that's struggling with pornography has to accept every time you AKA slip or relapse, you made a choice.
00:22:25
Coach Frank
Like you made a choice to go look at pornography. So I think i this idea only works if you understand that, that you're choosing to look at pornography. Okay, so if it's a choice that I made, why did I make the poor choices? What role did my gut? Did I have slow cognitive processing that literally I couldn't even correct myself?
00:22:46
Coach Frank
to a certain degree, maybe that maybe that happened. But that's the first thing is like we have to understand that there's choices that we make. Now, what role can actually restore your gut health also play in that where there's going to be a discipline component to do what you did and not eat sugar for six months, there's an element of willpower and discipline that had to be displayed. Now, what happens I think when you learn to actually have some self control around your food is you grow the skill set of discipline, self-control, and willpower. Like those are skills. When something tempts me, do I have the ability to say no?
00:23:24
Coach Frank
Some people do. Other people haven't developed the skill. Maybe when they were being raised by their parents, not blaming their parents for raising poor adults, maybe they were given everything. Maybe they were never actually shown what delayed gratification is. Great test. There's a book on it, the marshmallow test, the ability to delay gratification, the number one indicator of success in anything you want to do in this world. So there's elements of self-control that we have to be able to display in the moment of temptation. Like we just we have to build that learning things things to control it with your food not only restores the gut health but actually helps you build the skill set of delaying gratification.
Faith and Discipline in Recovery
00:24:07
Coach Frank
Now the inner lining, the gut microbiome, how does that produce healthier neurotransmitters? I don't understand all the science. People can go down that rabbit hole. I've witnessed it and I experienced it in my life anecdotally. I did a great podcast with Dr. Steven Gundry, who is a gut health expert where we discussed this. So here's a nutritionist, gut health experts, 70 years old, best selling author, we spent 20 minutes talking about addiction, because in his world, so many people come to him. Because once again, you restore the gut health, you restore the brain health, which brain health is going to lead to your ability to not give into temptation.
00:24:45
Ken Freire
Yeah. Frank, you know, as you talk about gut health and people might be listening to this and be wondering like, dude, my gut health is trash. You know, they're pounding the sodas, they're pounding the junk food and doing all that stuff. How do they start? Like, what's a good way for them to start getting the mental clarity that you're talking about so that they can fight temptation better?
00:25:10
Coach Frank
Yeah, I mean, everybody, like you said, is going to be at kind of a different stage in their journey. So be very hard to give, like, Stop drinking soda or you stop pounding sugar. I recommend most people do all of that. I think the first step that everybody can take after hearing this is go on a 48 to 72 hour fast. Literally, deny yourself from food for the next two to three days. Have your water. If you need some energy, have some black coffee, throw some MCT oil, throw some butter in the coffee, that's not going to break your fast.
00:25:41
Coach Frank
sit with some pen and paper and when you feel tempted and triggered to eat, write down actually what it is you're feeling and what it is you're thinking because probably one of the first thing that's going to reveal itself to you is most of the times when you think about food, you're not hungry, you're trying to avoid a feeling or emotion that's present in its life. Now, what does it have to do with pornography? The same thing. When you're thinking about going to look at pornography, you're not sexually driven. Because you're a man with high sex drive, you're probably trying to avoid an emotion or feeling that is present
00:26:17
Coach Frank
in your life. But I think everybody will a have a lot more mental clarity, a lot more focus and you will learn a lot about yourself and how food controls you and your life. If you go into 48 to 72 hour fast, starting right now.
00:26:34
Ken Freire
Dude, I love it. And I think that you're right. The more you can be self-aware of what's triggering you from food, that same thing applies to
00:26:43
Ken Freire
What's triggering you? Are you feeling lonely right now? Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you frustrated? Are you bored? There's all these feelings that we as men try to simplify.
00:26:54
Ken Freire
And we don't even acknowledge half the time.
00:26:54
Coach Frank
Yeah. Yeah, literally share a real time story with you. I was having a conversation with one of our clients on Friday. He is at the point in our program where he is in his 48 hour fast. He's like, Frank, I was 36 hours into it. I was crushing it. I was feeling good. Got into a TIFF, I'll use the word TIFF, mini argument with his wife. He's like, I didn't even realize it. In order to get myself out of that emotional state that I was in, I caught myself standing in front of the pantry eating potato chips.
00:27:24
Coach Frank
It happened so unconsciously, like he was crushing it. He was having so much success. He never looked at porn. So it was a massive win. But he's like, because of that, the the like the energy within the argument, I needed something to bring my nervous system down. And he found himself with his hand bag in the potato chips. It was and just like, he just caught him and he's like, what just happened? And I said, that's exactly why we're doing this. Because he was running from the feeling, he was running from the argument to suppress himself with the potato chips.
00:27:56
Ken Freire
Yeah. So, so when those moments kind of happen, how do you then integrate faith? Right? Cause we're talking a lot about, gut health, all that stuff, taking care of that. How do you integrate the faith aspect of, for example, maybe not feeling condemnation, like, okay, you screwed up, but get back up again. Like I'm just curious, what do you do?
00:28:14
Coach Frank
Yeah, I think if you're waiting till that point to integrate the faith, you probably missed the boat. I think the faith needs to be integrated from the beginning, right? Like, Lord, I'm doing this to bring myself closer to you. I mean, you would know this a lot better than me, but how many times are we called in the Bible to pray and seek the presence of the Lord? I mean, Jesus went into the desert for 40 days without food and it brought him closer to the Lord. So I think that faith component is not something that we wait until we're there. So in our approach, it's like we use health, nutrition, neuroscience, behavioral science, ah ah psychology, CBT, but all of that is sitting on top of a faith foundation, right? So it's like everything starts with, Lord, we're doing this to become closer to you by becoming the man that you've
00:29:03
Coach Frank
called us to be so that's the intent there from from the beginning so I don't know if it I wasn't trying to dodge the question but I'm trying to kind of but answer it in a way where it's like that's more how I would see it being effective as opposed to saying well now I'm already eating potato chips like Lord please forgive me it's like no I'm probably gonna mess up from the beginning so knowing that you've already got your grace and forgiveness like let's go like because my goal was to become closer to you
00:29:27
Ken Freire
Yeah. No, I love that, man. and I love how you said it. Like if you started to ask for God or help and guidance from God when you fail, you've already messed up, right? You got to start at the beginning. It's the foundation of everything of just like, okay, Lord, I'm doing this.
00:29:37
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:29:40
Ken Freire
I want to draw closer to you. I know I need your help. This is one means of grace or mechanism is I got to get healthy. I got to learn self-control. I got to learn self-discipline.
00:29:52
Ken Freire
I got to learn these things, but I'm going to do it with the help of God, not just on my own effort.
00:29:53
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:29:57
Coach Frank
Yeah, you tee it up from the beginning and then in the moments right when you are feeling like I really want some ice cream, you know and some some diet soda right now it's like then you can pause in the moment and because you've already like preemptively said Lord I'm trying to come closer to you then when you seek him in prayer like he's almost there waiting for you, but if you wait until the moment and this is why In this space, I think the worst advice with guys struggling with pornography is to pray and read your Bible. It's the worst advice. like yeah yeah You're already doing that. We need these other things, I think are tools that God's given us to bring us closer to them. We still want to do all that stuff, but that's got to be the foundation. And then we use these other, let's call them tools to actually help us live in this world.
00:30:44
Coach Frank
So just just I think it's a different lens that we need to look at a lot of this stuff through.
00:30:44
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:30:49
Ken Freire
Yeah. Well, and I think, Frank, what we're talking about is that what you're trying to do is have someone be holistic, right? Where I think sometimes what people say, they pray and read the Bible, right? I'm a huge advocate for those things, but it's almost like an overemphasis on just that, but they're not taking care of their health.
00:31:00
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:31:05
Coach Frank
Mm hmm.
00:31:06
Ken Freire
How many pastors do we see that are overweight? And it's just like, well, no, we're supposed to love our... says, love the Lord your God with are your heart, body, mind, body and mind, your soul and strength.
00:31:16
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:31:17
Ken Freire
So if you're not loving the Lord with your body, that's a problem. right And one of those ways I think you're talking about is just gut health. like Let's take care of our bodies so we can show God that we're trying to love Him.
00:31:28
Coach Frank
Yeah. How many guys have you had tell you, right? You know, I try to pray. I tried to read the Bible, but I can't focus or my mind is all over the place. Well, okay. Well, what role is your gut health playing in that?
00:31:39
Coach Frank
Because we know an unhealthy gut produces an unhealthy mind, which has the inability to just sit in quiet and focus.
Diet and Mental Clarity
00:31:47
Coach Frank
So let's restore the gut health. Then when you sit down to pray, like you can actually be there in presence in the moment.
00:31:54
Ken Freire
Dude, that's such a great point. I've actually never thought about that, just the clarity of not feeling anxious, right? Because I mean, there are a times, dude, when I have been eating junk food and and road trips are kind of like the worst at it, right?
00:32:00
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:32:06
Ken Freire
Because you're trying to drive and trying to stay awake, but now I feel gross and I need to keep eating this gross stuff to try to stay awake. But in those moments, I don't have the clarity to be praying because I feel like I'm in a mental fog.
00:32:15
Coach Frank
No. Yeah.
00:32:20
Ken Freire
It's just so difficult. And then my wife's like, do you want to talk? I'm like, no, I don't want to talk. I just want to get to the place I'm getting to. Right. Now, now the last six months, it's like, I'm not even worried about that because I've just been like this journey of of health to try to say, no, no, no, I don't need sugar to keep me alert.
00:32:38
Ken Freire
And dude, I've been so much more alert, so much more clarity. Even like you were saying in prayer life, I was like, wow, I feel like I hear from God more now because it's just like, I'm not brain fogged.
00:32:49
Ken Freire
all day long.
00:32:51
Coach Frank
I love that, man. Dude, did the carnivore diet. We still have it as like a protocol. Some guys follow it. I'm not as much of a... I was never a carnivore zealot, where it's like, you got to eat only meat, or you're going to like destroy the world, or you're not going to be able to live optimally.
00:33:03
Coach Frank
But i like in 2019, it was a big part of my journey. It was a big part of my life for about eight months. And I met a lot of people in the carnivore space that had been believers for a very long time.
00:33:12
Coach Frank
And it was like, we used to have these amazing conversations about how like this meat only diet was like giving us peace and presence of mind to just connect deeper with God than we had ever before. I was new in my faith. So it was all happening kind of like synergistic at the same time. But as I'm meeting, I was meeting a lot of lifetime believers that were also in this carnivore wave. And they said because they were healed, because they were present, because they were calm, they weren't irritable and anxious around food, that it brought their relationship to God to like heights they never imagined before.
00:33:45
Ken Freire
Dude, I love that man. Frank, you know, I'm sure you and I could keep talking about this topic and go more in depth, but for those listening, you gave one practical step, right, of like if they want to get started, start with a fast, right? 48-72 hour fast. Start taking notes down of what they're feeling whenever they think about food or pornography Before we wrap this conversation up, is there any other practical step that they can start doing to start working on their gut health and start overcoming pornography that you know has been really helpful at the beginning stages so of of a man's journey?
00:34:17
Coach Frank
Yeah, I think you of the biggest things that people do for their gut health is something that did. you I mentioned the carnivore diet. I think anybody that goes on a 30 to 60 day meat dominant diet, does it need to be meat only?
00:34:30
Coach Frank
don't eat meat and stickers because that's not going to be healthy, but some meat and fruit, some meat and veggies, eliminating processed sugar, and unnecessary carbohydrates. Most people probably listening to this don't need a lot of carbohydrates to fuel their body. If you're 15 to 20 pounds over a week, you could actually operate with almost zero carbs and your body would begin to rapidly change its composition. But I think eliminating the processed stuff out of your diet as you've experienced for six months, like how much better is your skin? How much more live do you feel? How much more lighter on your feet are you? you like you're sharper like even said it your processing is quicker like you're able to kind of respond and think more quicker on your feet all of that is a byproduct of you cutting out that thing that I don't believe was like our body needs like we know it doesn't need it I don't think it's good for it so eliminate the sugar in as much processed stuff out of your food you want to take it to the next step go on a 30 to 60 day carnivore or or meat and fruit diet and
00:35:30
Coach Frank
99.9% certain your life will radically change if you commit to that now, don't go 27 days and on day 2029 30 eat like an asshole and then call me like Frank it didn't work but it's like if you could truly commit now it's gonna be tough like you probably had for the first three weeks like you probably had to get like you probably fought a lot of temptation but once you get on the other side of it man like
00:35:52
Ken Freire
Oh, 100%.
00:35:54
Coach Frank
Literally once you get past that week three, your brain changes like neurochemically what your brain desires changes and the things that you used to desire, you no longer desire by learning to control for a short window of time. So the sugar and the junk food go in the meat only or try the meat fruit.
00:36:14
Ken Freire
Yeah, that's great, man. And for those of you who think, is this hard? Yes, it's hard. But is it worth it? 100% because of what you get in the bag.
00:36:22
Coach Frank
Being fat and overweight is hard. Being addicted to pornography and trying to live a purposeful, fulfilling, meaningful, connected life to others is hard, too. Choose your heart.
00:36:33
Coach Frank
Life is hard. It's not supposed to be easy. And as a believer, I think that's maybe the thing that we sometimes forget. Like, oh, Jesus' life was hard, so I was going to be easy. No, he actually said you will face trials in your
00:36:46
Ken Freire
trials, yeah.
00:36:47
Coach Frank
Look forward to them because those are actually what's going to shape you to be the person that God has called you to be. You want to build your body? It's hard. You got to put it under stress. You got to break things down. You got to restore it. You want to grow emotionally? It's going to be hard. You got to put yourself under emotional stress, break things down, grow. You want to grow mentally? you get It's going to be hard. You got to break things down mentally and grow. Life is hard, dude. Accept it. Which hard do you want, though?
00:37:13
Ken Freire
Yeah. And at the end of the day, when you pick a certain hard, there's going to be fruit. So what fruit do you want, right?
00:37:20
Coach Frank
Yes.
00:37:21
Ken Freire
Like, if you want the good fruit, like, man, I was at a party just the other day, right, this past weekend. were celebrating someone who became a US citizen. And they had all this food, like I couldn't eat 80% of it.
00:37:35
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:37:35
Ken Freire
And they had like all these snacks and they're like, do you want it? I'm like, there's a part of me that wants it because I miss apple pie.
00:37:40
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:37:40
Ken Freire
It's my favorite. But like, if I take a bite of that, I'm going to be killed over the corner and I'll regret it.
00:37:48
Ken Freire
And I was like, no, no, I'd rather be sharp. I'd rather be alert. I'd rather be light so that I could pick up my kids. I'd rather have the energy so that I could go do Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Like, I'd rather just be where I'm at now than like feeling sluggish and physically unable to do those things.
00:38:00
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:38:04
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:38:05
Ken Freire
I need my mind sharp so that when temptation does come, I can fight it.
00:38:10
Coach Frank
I'm laughing, man. What an amazing story, but it's funny. As you're sharing that, I was like, There's a perfect example of like what it means to be an American, right? Congratulations on your US citizenship.
00:38:21
Coach Frank
Now eat all this food that is unhealthy for you, right?
00:38:23
Coach Frank
Like there is America in 2024 and why this conversation is so needed, right?
00:38:30
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:38:30
Coach Frank
Because of that is the reality for most people. Like the world that we live in is just ultra processed. I call it the microwave society. We're soft, we're weak. I don't think it's good for us, but it's just a funny example of like, congratulations on being American.
Overcoming Shame & Building Confidence
00:38:44
Coach Frank
Here's all this junk that's really not that good for you, but eat up.
00:38:48
Ken Freire
Well, and you know what's even funnier is that my wife was actually talking to the person who became a US citizen. And she was like, you know, normally where I come from, we make everything homemade and it's clean, it's processed.
00:39:01
Ken Freire
But she was like, what's the American culture? She's like, just buy a bunch of snacks, junk food, and like burgers and hot dogs.
00:39:06
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:39:08
Ken Freire
And it was funny. like was like, oh yeah, everything I looked here felt like a normal American dish and or you celebration be a US citizen. And I thought to myself, I can't have most of this stuff right now.
00:39:21
Coach Frank
Well, when you travel outside the country, you experienced that. Now we're way off topic, so I don't know if you're going to cut all this.
00:39:24
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:39:25
Coach Frank
But when you travel out of the country, you experienced that. I was in Colombia in the beginning of August. Five days on there, dude. We ate like a king. But the minute like got it from the table, we we you walk
00:39:35
Coach Frank
We'd eat three appetizers, the biggest entrees, maybe have a drink or two for for dinner. you get up and you're light and actually came back from that trip leaner than when I left.
00:39:45
Coach Frank
My girlfriend's family just went to Italy over the summer as well. Same thing they pass every single day, but they were lighter and leaner because it's all naturally based organic foods.
00:39:55
Coach Frank
Yeah, God made.
00:39:57
Ken Freire
I think that's all super important for people to listen
00:39:59
Ken Freire
Maybe this is the last question what we'll leave off with. I think some people know that they need to eat cleaner and that they need to have a good gut health, and we're talking about choosing their heart.
00:40:06
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:40:10
Ken Freire
But there's also some shame that comes to feeling like, gosh, I've screwed up my diet for so long. Can I actually recover? Can I actually eat healthy?
00:40:22
Ken Freire
And can you speak into those guys who might feel a little bit shamed right now that they know their health is not in order and they should be doing it, but they're feeling all the stressors in life. How do you speak into them where they feel empowered and not ah ah in shame or ashamed of where they're at?
00:40:38
Coach Frank
Yeah, before I answer that, just to kind of tie this whole conversation together with the food, the processed junk, there was this quote shared online a couple years ago, and it was if you ever wonder what pornography is doing to your brain, just look at somebody that or just look at what fast food has done to the American society.
00:40:56
Coach Frank
And I think that's a good, you know, kind of wrapping all this conversation.
00:40:57
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:41:00
Coach Frank
Not that anybody listening to this is, is still questioning whether or not pornography is bad, but we know it to be a hundred percent true. It's just, it's ultra process, fake, highly produced, non intimacy.
00:41:10
Ken Freire
Well, have you, not to cut you off, but have you seen those images where they looked at people who are addicted to sugar and like addicted to cocaine and how the brain, the brain scans are very similar and then people who are addicted to pornography and addicted to sugar, how similar, dude, it's crazy.
00:41:17
Coach Frank
Oh yeah. Yeah. And the brain scans and everything. Yep.
00:41:23
Coach Frank
yep yep similar how similar how similar it is yeah uh your question though i i think is more wrapped up maybe not in shame but i think it's it's i think it's around people's lack of belief and confidence within themselves you know shame is it's a very destructive state to operate out of but i think the people that struggle most the same are those ones that struggle with self-confidence or belief within themselves i know that this can be very daunting for a guy that's trying to get pornography or trying to overcome
00:41:55
Coach Frank
the challenge with food because they have a history of failure with themselves, which is what you said. They've been trying to stop eating processed food. They've been trying to overcome pornography for years or decades, but their reality shows them that they're not successful.
00:42:10
Coach Frank
That's a self-perception problem there. They don't believe in their ability to actually produce it until you change that inner belief, your reality will never be any different. But how do you begin to build belief, small incremental wins stacked up over time? If you're struggling with pornography,
00:42:28
Coach Frank
your weight financially, relationship wise, you're not going to solve all those problems together. I would say find the lowest one, the simplest one and begin to stack wins in that area. The power of small incremental progress stacked up over time for a short period of time. I'm literally talking 30 to 60, 90 days.
00:42:47
Coach Frank
Have one to two things that you're going to commit to doing every single day. You begin to see yourself through a different perception, through a different lens. Every day you become the person that can do one thing for yourself. So start small. If it's not eating after 7pm, commit to that. If it's going on a 30 minute walk, commit to that. James Clear in Atomic Habits talked about a client that he worked with. He had hundreds of pounds.
00:43:12
Coach Frank
to lose for six months. All he wanted him to do was drive to the gym, walk in and walk out. I don't want you to touch away. What he did is he proved to himself that he can go to the gym. That shaped his identity that now that I'm here, start with, they talk about the one pushup. If you can get down to do one every single day, but I think beginning to stack small incremental wins It's gotta start small though. That's the problem. Most people, they try to change everything. They go on low carb, keto, training six days a week, two times a day, fasting, sauna, cold plunge. You've never done any of those consistently over time. How do you start doing 17 of them?
00:43:52
Coach Frank
Start with one. Myself, I've been training for 25 years. Going to the gym, it's like breathing. I also get in the sun, I also get in the cold plunge, I also track somewhat of my food, I also walk daily. But it's been 25 years of me stacking a lot of these wins. It's a part of my identity now. Start with the one though, the lowest, simplest thing. If it's not hitting snooze, for most people, that will change your life. If you start your day every single day with honoring the first commitment, now when you see yourself in the mirror, the person looking back is somebody that actually cares for your success. Understand the power of this relationship that you have with yourself and how much you are in control of it by doing the little things that you say you're going to do.
00:44:34
Ken Freire
Dude, that's a great way to end this conversation, man. Super powerful. And for someone who, for those of you who might know this, I work at a goal achievement company called Full Focus from Michael Hyatt. That's a lot of what we talk about. Just focus on the one thing.
00:44:49
Ken Freire
Right? What's the domino effect? And I love it.
00:44:52
Ken Freire
I love, I love, I love how you were just saying like, just focus on the one little thing. Get those consistent wins because those consistent wins are going to build the confidence that you need to keep fighting the other things.
00:45:03
Ken Freire
And that is not to deter anything about your faith. Right? Because like you said earlier, faith has to be integrated from the beginning, from the foundation of everything where you're like, God, I need you to help me.
00:45:11
Coach Frank
Yeah.
00:45:13
Ken Freire
I need you to help me to get up at five o'clock in the morning. I need you to help me to get this one pushup in. I need you to help me to slowly but surely gain the confidence that it's like, I can do this because you, God, have given me the power to do this.
00:45:27
Coach Frank
What is the first book in the Bible tell us? Without God, we are broken. We are going to slip and we live in a fallen world. So just because we have God doesn't mean that we're going to live a perfect life.
00:45:39
Coach Frank
So we have to accept that presupposition from the beginning. And that's why I said I think the faith has to be that foundation for everything else.
00:45:43
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:45:47
Coach Frank
But then we still need to be tactical, intentional about the things that we follow that, right? And that's where it's like, God saved me, right?
00:45:52
Ken Freire
Yeah.
00:45:55
Coach Frank
Now I'm perfect. And then when I'm not perfect, well, what can I do
Connecting with Frank Rich
00:45:59
Coach Frank
about it? Well, you got to do different things if you want a different outcome. So yes, it's been awesome.
00:46:03
Ken Freire
Yeah, I love it. Frank, man, for those of people who are listening to this and they're like, I need to learn more from Frank and want to hear more about his program and his podcast. What's the best way to reach you?
00:46:15
Coach Frank
Yeah, well, Coach Frank Rich, anywhere, Instagram, YouTube, you can just just search us there. do have a free school community for anybody that's interested in and maybe get plugged in with a community of guys, great resources, regular trainings inside of there as well. You can find that at school .com forward slash the rebuilt man.
00:46:33
Ken Freire
Awesome. And that's school S-K-O-O-L.
00:46:35
Coach Frank
Oh, yes, sir.
00:46:36
Ken Freire
Yep. I'll put that in the show notes those of you guys who are looking at this. Again, Frank, thank you so much, man. This has been a very encouraging, very empowering, and also challenging, man.
00:46:46
Ken Freire
Like, I want to make sure we're always Being healthy and and working on our gut health, I appreciate your unique perspective in the topic for men to kill shame. So for those of you who are still wondering, what should I do next? This may be the next best step. And ah ah until next time, what I want you all men to keep doing is kill shame, stand strong, and be on mission. Hope you guys have a great day and God bless.