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Cleve Died on a 737
44 Plays9 months ago
RIP Cleve
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Transcript
Introduction and National Prayer Day
00:00:02
Speaker
Happy National Prayer Day. Stay prayed up. God bless you.
Modern Hair Norms and Humorous Stereotypes
00:00:07
Speaker
Some people have asked me what I would do if a woman asked me to cut my hair. And first, I do not believe that it is very likely that any woman would ask me to do that because it is now 2024, not 1924.
00:00:32
Speaker
Taste that honey sauce. Taste the goodness of a biscuit with that honey sauce. Things as if I don't vape or I don't zen, I'll get withdrawals. Okay. I'll get a nicotine withdrawal. It's not fun.
00:00:58
Speaker
They also studied the way gay and straight people talk. Hi, nice to meet you. I ride a skateboard. Sounds straight to me. And is straight. Hey there, I ride a scooter. Gay. I'm looking for a cute boyfriend I could buy a car for and a PS5 for. I just got my income tax, so hit me up.
Chef Mike's Announcements and Social Media Frustrations
00:01:19
Speaker
Looking for a boyfriend. Chef Mike here. And tonight, it's a full review video.
00:01:31
Speaker
Yo guys, so I'm at Target, and my mom just said that chocolate tacos still exist. I looked at the ice cream section, and there wasn't any. Go, go, go. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,
00:01:52
Speaker
Listen, you son of a bitch. What the fuck's your problem? You wanna sit here and say that I'm a goddamn fucking Russian? You get in my face with that, I'll beat your goddamn ass, you son of a bitch.
00:02:07
Speaker
I don't think I'll be on the Instagram anymore or come on here anymore because I can no longer tolerate or handle not being allowed to post comments I want to on Facebook or Instagram.
00:02:30
Speaker
lots of asian noises welcome to dudes r us fuck you if you don't like it we can't be stopped fuck cleave fuck ron by zinga zinga fuck everyone we don't care we love you enjoy the episode and subscribe yababa baby my least favorite how is he your least how is he your favorite how is he your least favorite dude's thing sucks dude this is the same song over and over again dude he's way better than any of the other guys
00:03:02
Speaker
Yeah, that guy sucks. You like him less than Tony P? Probably. What? Why? Just because he uses the same song as his cooking intro? Yeah. He's just got a he's like staying on brand, consistently on brand. Yeah, that's his fucking that's his tagline, basically. Yeah, he owns it.
00:03:34
Speaker
I'd love to see you cook a frozen pizza better than him. Shots fired. You ever cooked a frozen pizza poms? Yep. He makes he makes coffee better than fucking Starbucks too. So just the title of the video, watch me make coffee better than Starbucks. Did you comment let's go on a video?
00:04:03
Speaker
No. Come on, dude. How do you hate a person like that? He's like helpless. Maybe that's why I hate him. At least hate him when we get him to blow up and then he gets too full of himself and starts a men's rights thing or something.
00:04:30
Speaker
Nope. The only one I like is, uh, Davis Clark's friend. The Indian guy. Yeah. Davis Clark makes weird noises whenever he's unlikely. Unlikeful now. That was always was. Oh yeah. What do you think is, uh, what do you think is difficult decision is?
00:04:59
Speaker
Did he fail his fucking test I was wondering that But I don't think you'd have the results yet. Didn't you say it was like two months? Why don't you guys like cleaning a gun or something in the background? What do you mean? Aiden's using a grinder boy. That's not me. That's Jared Jared's like pulling out his mushroom capsules from his weird jar. I
00:05:32
Speaker
What are you doing, dude? I'm just fidgeting. Sorry. It is a gun. Cleaning my Glock. I'm just putting it by my temple and pulling it away and cleaning it. Dude, that's a perfect set. Is it too early to talk about John Barnett? What is that? I got to get on. You guys fill me in on this.
00:06:02
Speaker
Did you do any, uh, learn, did you do any looking into John Burnett pods? Nope. I have no idea what you're even talking about. So he's the guy who worked for Boeing for like 30 years, who was the whistleblower reporting on all the like safety issues for why we don't know. We talked a few weeks or a few pods ago where like Boeing had their like door fly off and shit like that. And he was basically the one saying that are telling, you know, whistle blowing that they've been
00:06:32
Speaker
cutting corners and changing the way they make planes and they're not safe and all this shit. So he was supposed to testify against Boeing in court on Saturday. He didn't show up. And so the judge sent police to his hotel to go get him. Couldn't find him in his hotel. Go find his truck in the parking lot. He is
Boeing Whistleblower Conspiracy and Safety Issues
00:06:57
Speaker
dead in his truck from a self-inflicted from a quote unquote self-inflicted gunshot wound in his truck in the hotel parking lot. Uh, the day before he was supposed to, or I mean, probably happened the night before, but you know, right before he was supposed to testify against Boeing and they think he, and they say he killed himself, which is, you know,
00:07:23
Speaker
Seems unlikely. Seems unlikely that that guy who's been, uh, you know, actively advocating against them for years is, was, had like a weird conscience moment. And also if you're going to do it in the, in the car, in the hotel parking lot, come on. No one's doing it there. So, um,
00:07:52
Speaker
Well, I guess they'll measure that in the forensic side of things. Measure like what? Like how where the splatter is and if someone was holding the gun to his head. Yeah. The judge for the case has already said that they would continue because he was like the plaintiff, I guess. The judge was already like, we're going to continue the case, even though he's dead. So.
00:08:17
Speaker
One wonders if Boeing did it because they were hoping the case would just get. Damn it. The other. Fuck. We have to kill the judge now. Now we have to kill ourselves. But then also Boeing had like some shit go down this week, right? With what? Playing suddenly dropped in the sky. Yeah. What? That was like two or three days ago. Yeah. Like literally couldn't have been a worse week for them.
00:08:47
Speaker
Other than that, they have at least at the moment apparently gotten away with murdering an ex-employee What happened with the plane dropping out of the sky? Don't know I just saw the headline and like the money dropped mid-flight Just dropped like, you know a few hundred feet Yeah, definitely like thing like stuff is not supposed to happen to planes. So I
00:09:11
Speaker
Um, okay. So January, the door blew off the Alaska airlines plane that was made by Boeing. And so they grounded all the 737s. Um, and then when they inspected that plane, what was there? Like they failed, like over 40% of the safety tests on the plane. So that sucks. Oh, this week was it 50 people were injured.
00:09:37
Speaker
When the. Yeah, when that plane or it was like a plane engine caught fire, one of their plane engines caught fire and then it had an emergency land. Yeah. So, yeah, fucking Boeing. That's fucking sketchy. So, yeah, when you're, you know, and they're what they're down.
00:10:07
Speaker
I actually think they're down that much. I mean, they've just been dropping. Oh, they're down 20, 21 points on the month. Not the date. That kind of sucks. Um, well, no, it's good because, uh, they seem like bad people. Oh yeah. Big time. Oh, I should see if my, my flight on, uh, Monday is what kind of plane it is. Didn't think to look into that.
00:10:39
Speaker
I don't even want to look into that, dude. Isn't it just certain airlines that use that? Well, I think Boeing airplanes are like the most manufactured. No, the 737s. Oh, good. It's a Boeing 737.
00:10:58
Speaker
No way. It literally is. What airline is it? Delta. I just want to say this. Shadow, our old boss, who definitely called that post pandemic, there was going to be some fucked up airline shit going on. He was like, think about it. He's shutting everything down. They're not going to be able to like do the repairs they need to do. They're going to get backed up.
00:11:22
Speaker
remember we were flying on one of those new planes and all of a sudden the next time we went the next like three times it was all those real old ones like the 80s model yeah that's the only ones i get now for some reason probably because all the new ones are falling out of the sky oh fuck well whatever that sucks dude i was really hoping to look and it would be like yeah of course it's not a bowing
00:11:59
Speaker
But we'll see it. It's okay. I got to check. I got to check which one I'm taking now. It's probably the same point. Wait, where are you going? I'm going. I told you guys I was going to be up there. Oh, next on Monday. Yeah. Oh, it is a 737. It's nice knowing you guys. That's crazy.
00:12:28
Speaker
That's funny. I'm flying to Florida on Monday. It's probably the same. Yeah. 737 900. That's interesting. You guys are gonna fly past each other. They're all 737s. Yeah. That's like every plane that in the sky. Yeah, of course. I think JetBlue flies any Boeing planes.
00:13:00
Speaker
but fact check that right now. This guy kind of looks like a crazy person. Oh, um, John Barrett Barnett. Yeah. Yeah. Jupyll only flies Airbus and Breyer. Stop flying Delta.
00:13:33
Speaker
Just, uh, this was the one that got me where I needed to be when I needed to be there. Yeah. No, don't general. Oh, isn't it the seven 37 max? Yeah. But like, come on. Yeah. It's a seven 37 maxes. Yeah. Just because the seven 37s were built long enough ago that they still apparently had standards. But then you're like, I wonder if they've been like,
00:14:02
Speaker
I don't know. I don't fucking care. Actually, it's not like they're crashing every day. No, it's the ones that, uh, yeah, the max is the one that documentary is on. Is that the one that Alaska was? Yeah, it was. It was about the airplane that just went missing the Malaysia flight. Was that, was that a, uh, whatever these things are.
00:14:37
Speaker
Yeah, it was Boeing 737 goes deeper dude, Alaska Airlines passenger tries to open the Boeing 737 three times. That's crazy. Nine hours ago.
00:14:54
Speaker
I remember how Russia just shot a commercial airliner out of the sky and knowing and like everyone was just like, yeah, all right. Russia was. They were like, ooh, whoops, we didn't mean to do that. And everyone was like, I mean, if we make a big deal out of it, you've got nukes. So I guess it's OK. You did that. Yeah, it's all good.
00:15:24
Speaker
We good. Goodie. We goodie Putin. Why when did that happen? Didn't that like happen, like during COVID? And they blame, they tried to blame it on Ukraine, but it was like, then it was like, no, it's clearly Russian missiles. It's like a Russian surface tear missile. And they're like, look what Ukraine did.
00:15:53
Speaker
Yeah, it was another Malaysia airline. Uh, all 238 passengers and 15 crew were killed. Uh, Boeing 777 was lost about 15 kilometers from Ukraine, Russia border. Um, when was this July? Oh, this wasn't July 17th, 2014. I feel like this happened recently.
00:16:24
Speaker
That would have been during Crimea. Yeah, I guess, damn, I'm old. I'm old to just be like, didn't that happen last year? Nope. That happened during the fucking Obama administration. Crimea River.
00:16:50
Speaker
Pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. All right, Jared, we're good. We're not on the maxes unless you are. No, I'm not. It's a 737-800. Oh, this one's a 900.
00:17:09
Speaker
Not sure either way. 800, one they said was bad. That's fine. Oh, I just read that 800 is worse than flying up. Oh, they only fly gay people in the 800. That's a... Yeah, that's what it says. Sorry, dude. That's why they only give out gay juice for drinks. Hey, would you like cranberry ginger ale?
00:17:42
Speaker
We only have Sprite remixes, the topical one. Oh my God. American Dad's playing on all the TVs. You only watch American Dad. Fucking American Dad came on earlier on my TV and I was like, what is this shit? It's weird that they still make all those shows.
00:18:10
Speaker
That one and, um, Bob's burgers. Bob's burgers. Decent. First few, first few seasons was good. Never watched an episode of that. It's a good, it's a good calming show. Yeah. I heard good things. I just, I don't know. It was out of Fox cartoon comedy by then. Your Bob's on Bob's burgers.
00:18:46
Speaker
Yeah. I don't like it. That shows bad. It's like young Sheldon shows. I don't understand people who are like, yeah, I can't wait to watch the big bang theory. I never really watched an episode of that either. You don't even need to. You can watch the first two seconds of any episode that comes on on your TV and you can immediately tell it's bad.
00:19:09
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, that's probably why I never watched any of it because I was like, oh, this isn't going to be a good show. Well, somehow it's the most popular TV show basically all time. I mean, what does that even what does that count for? Other than that, I guess as weirdos are probably rich now.
00:19:38
Speaker
The whole time. What's the GOAT sitcom? Seinfeld. What's the most watched? It's The Office, actually. Yeah, hell yeah. Really? That's surprising. Pretty good. Office. That's a good show. Pretty good. Well, this one's saying it's Friends. But that could just be an opinion piece, actually. Pretty good.
00:20:08
Speaker
I hope it's neither of those. Actually, I don't really have an opinion, because obviously, like whatever the whatever the like most popular TV show of all time is, it's going to be something like nine,
Sitcoms, Streaming, and Nostalgic Platforms
00:20:18
Speaker
nine, bad nine, The Simpsons, eight, Rick and Morty. No, fuck no. Seven, Ugly Betty. I don't even know. I never watched that show. Seinfeld. I mean, I have modern family.
00:20:32
Speaker
That's the only one where I'd be like, that might make sense. The Big Bang Theory. Going too fast right now. Three Futurama. No. Two Friends. And one is The Office. That's got to be like an opinion piece. I mean, The Office is good. I didn't think it'd be over like Seinfeld.
00:20:55
Speaker
I never watched it in order. So like, I think there was like a plot that you're supposed to like care about. That's hilarious. Office became the most streamed show of the year in 2020. It's pretty good. Pretty good. Futurama man. I can't believe that that's that high. That's number three.
00:21:26
Speaker
But that's what I mean. Like what are they basing this on? Like you could make that argument for Futurama only because it got like canceled twice and then there was like fan campaigns. You could be like people like it or you could be like it, you know, has this many people who have ever watched it, but that's because they've been making episodes for like 20 years.
00:21:49
Speaker
Futurama is the highest ranking animated sitcom on this list. It's been on and off the air multiple times over the past couple decades. Due to its popularity, it was revived in 2023. 11th season. That's crazy. I'm surprised they revived it again. I watched it. I used to be on the cartoon blog. It'd be like that since then. I didn't dislike it. It's just weird that there's like
00:22:17
Speaker
You know, they're still making like they still make New South Parks. I was watching that show in elementary school. It's just weird that like there's no one's ever just like, all right, this has been on for like 10 years. We're good. Hey, South Park's gone a long way, dude. First few episodes are just about getting probed. It's better than. I don't think I believe you.
00:22:46
Speaker
I think that the new episodes are pretty good. It's been on for a long ass time though. Yeah. Never got into South Park. I think I've seen probably every episode except for the ones that are on like Pegasus or Paramount or whatever the fuck the name of that streaming thing is. Oh my God. I want to see if TikTok worked. It still works guys. Is it banned?
00:23:16
Speaker
Uh, I think the house of representatives voted to ban it today. I don't think the Senate voted on it yet. So it's not official yet, but take another four years. Yeah. I don't know how that works. Well, they're voting on is whether or not they're going to try to force the company to divest. They want the Chinese company to sell off there, to sell it off. Oh, so you like to talk to Berg.
00:23:45
Speaker
but China won't own the app. Correct. Gotcha. That makes sense. That doesn't make any sense. We're a fucking another country and we're going to tell business in China that they can't own their wildly popular app. Uh, in America, just their America. I mean, if, if you have to figure if China, we're doing shady, you know, like espionage through Tik TOK,
00:24:09
Speaker
whether or not they directly. Yeah, exactly. Whether or not they directly own the app. Like if they have to quote unquote, divest and then an American shell corporation that's run by Chinese Americans takes over that part. China's like good enough at computers to still do whatever they were going to do. Um, but yeah, no, I mean, it's like the same thing with, what was it? It was like Arizona.
00:24:39
Speaker
a couple of weeks ago, like revoke these leases for Saudi Arabian farms that were like using too much water or something. Are we talking? No, we talked about this on pod that how many like you were talking about that conspiracy theory that all these like Chinese people were taking over American farmland. That's my theory. It's a real thing. It's like that. We'd be like, you know what? I mean, you'd got to figure if,
00:25:09
Speaker
If there were truth to it, eventually the government would just come in and be like, you know what? We just got to do one of those sketchy government things we do every few every few decades. And like Chinese people don't get to own farms anymore. Bill Gates doesn't get to own fucking anything. That dude's dead. Yeah. He's got a body double. Yeah.
00:25:38
Speaker
Fake Bill Gates puppet. So you think Zuck's going to get TikTok? Mmm. There's no way they can do that. If, if JetBlue and Spirit Airlines can't merge, they would never let Facebook buy TikTok. I mean, they bought everything else. They bought Instagram. Yeah. Once you, yeah, that's what I mean is like, that would be, that would be, I mean, not surprising.
00:26:05
Speaker
Shouldn't say that would be very surprising to me if they allowed that, but that would be pretty fucked up if they allowed that. OK. Just in terms of like if our antitrust laws mean anything. Got to figure that's something they wouldn't wouldn't be cool with.
00:26:30
Speaker
Cause then who's, who's bigger than like, who could possibly compete with Facebook? Like who, or meta, I should say, who's got the, who's got the reach. When they bought vine, that was the worst mistake ever. Didn't Twitter buy vine. Uh, I thought it was Instagram. Maybe it was Twitter. Yeah. But either way, yeah. Vine was cool until it got bought. And then they were like, we're going to make it a thing. They ended it. They just killed it. Yeah. They just killed it. They were like,
00:27:01
Speaker
we kind of already offer this. So we just want you to use the service that always existed. And everyone was like, no, we didn't use that for a reason. You use vine pops. I did use mine. Yep. Mine was the best. There was some good ones on there. What I really miss is original YouTube. I think that was the best.
00:27:29
Speaker
pre-monetization youtube when people just did it for the love of it well pre everything pre ads yeah i can remember when youtube first became a thing and i was like why the fuck would anybody ever watch this shit and now i probably spend the majority of my watching time on my phone watching youtube videos oh yeah just hilarious because now it's like you can watch anything on it but it used to just be like dude singing and fucking
00:27:59
Speaker
Charlie bit my finger stuff. Yeah. Chocolate rain. Chocolate. Unforgivable videos. Numa Numa. Numa Numa guy was ruled.
00:28:26
Speaker
It's funny, we weren't really there for the beginning of the internet. Well, I mean, I guess we were, we were probably all live. I mean, I for sure was. Well, the beginning of the internet, no, but like. But we were there for the beginning of like the modern. Yeah, I had the first. All the good stuff. Version of America online. Yeah. You used to get the fucking shit in the mail, the ads in the mail. Literally, they would just send you so many CDs.
00:28:55
Speaker
I mean, it was probably like in retrospect, pretty brilliant. They just every you got. I mean, yeah, they just mailed floppy disks with America online on it. Everyone had it. Amazing. We had so many of those just like CDs hanging around that we used to throw them at each other like ninja stars. You felt wrong to throw it away.
00:29:24
Speaker
You're like, oh, this is this is technology. Can't throw this away. Remember that aid? A CD book. You remember dialogue, dial up modems. But the book, the book, the book fucking dad would be like, you're not allowed to. And.
00:29:51
Speaker
Can't use the Internet until after five o'clock when I won't get any more business calls. Oh, my God, that was the worst. That's hilarious. You'd be online like in a chat room, like not, you know, using swear words because you'd get in trouble for that with AOL. But then your mom would like pick up the phone because your aunt was calling and it would just disconnect you. Fucking Internet. On the phone. On the phone. Stop.
00:30:23
Speaker
You just be like, ASL? ASL? And we're just asked each other the same question. You'd be like, Oh, I'm a 80 year old male in USA. Misfitsguy103. Yep. 130. It would be 138. If you knew anything about the Misfits.
00:30:55
Speaker
Danzig's disciple. Oh, man, that's so true. That's so Jared. Mighty, mighty boss stones. I was not a sky guy. Not what I heard. Tall Dan fucking texted me before the show some some notes on you. Tall Dan doesn't know me.
00:31:24
Speaker
Everybody was a Scott guy when that first Tony Tony Hawk pro skater game came in. That's you're not wrong. That is kind of true. That was really big fish though, wasn't it? I have no idea. I just know that that song is like the ultimate fucking Yeah, I think it was really fish. That way you thought you're but you're not wrong.
00:31:56
Speaker
There you go. Go ahead, dude. That's it. Remember in the fucking first time you got Napster and it took like 45 minutes to download a song. You just have to pick, you have to download once, you know, download your song at like eight 30 at night so that it would be ready in the morning.
00:32:19
Speaker
And you just be at school the whole day thinking about like, I can't wait to go home and listen to that one Jay Z song. Can't wait to go listen to crazy train six times. Yeah. So good. Metallic is pretty fucking lame for taking that away from the world, dude. A lot of good that did. Now they just have streaming Spotify and they get like two cents per
00:32:48
Speaker
A thousand listens or something. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Lars Ulrich. That's right. I hope Neil Young's back on Spotify. Oh, did you need money or something? Kind of what it sounded like. Guy's a douche.
00:33:16
Speaker
Rogan's podcast is now back on like everything. A Spotify podcast and huge letters on it. Oh, he was boycott. He took his music off Spotify to boycott Joe Rogan. Yeah. And then because he wasn't going to be able to not make any money, this is what he said. He's like, well, if he's on everything, I can't boycott everything. So I got to make money. So now he's back on.
00:33:47
Speaker
What does he, I mean, I get why I like, what does he not like about Joe Rogan so much? It was during the pandemic when they were, um, uh, talking about the pandemic, I guess. Yeah. Ever heard of it. Had said some anti-vax shit probably. Oh yeah. I'm sure you fucking said all sorts of shit. Eddie ever heard of it. Pandemic. He was the king boomer killed 800 people.
00:34:15
Speaker
4,000 people pandemic in the history of human civilization. I heard you're old. That's true. Really young. Yeah. Really thought, really thought that Jared's people, wait, old people. Yeah, that's true.
00:34:41
Speaker
That is true. Getting meals on wheels served up to you. About to be, about to get my AARP card. Pauly Shores age. Oof. No, he's got to be older than me. You better hope so.
00:35:05
Speaker
There it is. There's a classic keyboard. 34. Yep, you're old. Holy shit. 56. That's crazy. Oh, man. He's not twice your age, so just saying. I don't know. Just bio-dome feels like it was just like 10 years ago. You know? Not for me. I was four when that came out.
00:35:35
Speaker
This is crazy. Yeah, dude. Chef Mike. Chicken burger. Chicken burger.
00:36:04
Speaker
chicken burger chicken burger do pretty good chicken burger chicken burger he was saying it all evil on the last i know it was like all dark too like the video of it yeah menacing chicken burger
00:36:35
Speaker
All right, I love you too. Chicken burger. Dollar General employees that was kind of story make a statement saying we walk walking out we quit. We quit. Fuck that whole chicken burger.
00:37:03
Speaker
Jared were the dollar generals when you're going up to headset stores. They called it five and, called it five and dimes. So, so the, so the thing that I will say that, that does age me is the dollar generals when I was
00:37:25
Speaker
younger, I was alive for the time when the dollar store genuinely didn't sell anything for more than a dollar. Like you could not every their gimmick was that you never paid more than 99 cents for a thing in the store. Yeah. It's like a five below. Yeah. But that's $5 and below. I mean, they started this whole thing. Don't tell me they haven't been around 100 years. I don't know.
00:37:54
Speaker
But yeah, dude, you used to be able to go to a dollar general, get anything, get 10 things for under $10. Get a pair of shoes under parachute parachute, parachute for the Boeing 737 max you're going on. Yeah, exactly. You need those. They don't give you parachutes on the plane. Only the pilot gets that chicken burger.
00:38:26
Speaker
Ooh, yuck. Chippies. Chippies. Chips. Chips. Chippies. Brilliant. Nailed it. Nailed it. Chicken burger. Well. Get more chickens. That's all you are?
00:38:56
Speaker
How many more? Six more? Probably eight. I'm just going to run over one on the side of the road today. I thought of you. A total of eight or get yourself up to 10. Get us up to 10. Nice. Are you putting in another coop or are you just going to? Yup. Yes, we are. We're not going to put that. That one thing is way too small. Any of them fly in the coop? Nope. Just the one that got eaten. Damn, dude. Are you going to get any of the laid green eggs? Yeah, we'll probably try it.
00:39:27
Speaker
Excuse me, we'll probably try to get ones that lay a plethora. A plethora of colored eggs. You think you'll eat one of the eggs and go, I feel like since I've gotten chickens, I've eaten less eggs than I used to. Damn, yo, this shit's crack. Dude, I'll still take eggs off your hands anytime you are all, you got the, you got the ick.
00:39:55
Speaker
Well, if we ended up with 10 chickens, you can have fucking eggs every week if you want. Because that's going to be a lot of eggs. I'll take them. I eat four eggs every morning. Yeah, right, dude. He's making it up. He's just going to take them and throw them out. You're going to throw them with trains. You're going to throw them with the commuter rail. You're going to put them inside your computer.
00:40:25
Speaker
mail them to people, put a stamp on it. You should do that as an Amazon return. Just bring in a loose egg. Yeah, I don't know. I ordered a JVC wireless speaker and I got this egg. Here's the QR code for it. Go ahead.
00:40:57
Speaker
I just want like, I'll take a return. I don't, I don't need the speaker if you only have eggs, but like, I don't want, I paid a lot and it's just an egg. Egg bit. What else has been going on, Paul? Not much.
00:41:26
Speaker
Are you going to give all the, uh, new chickens, like old lady names? I don't know. Maybe this batch will have to be something else just so we don't overdo it, you know? Yeah. This batch can all be, uh, let's see. We're dictators. If we get eight chickens, how many people were in TLC? Three.
00:41:54
Speaker
How many people were in Beyonce's thing? Destiny's Child? Yup. Three? Probably a hundred. Six. The entire city of Detroit. There's six people in Destiny's Child? I think there's six people total. Oh, I think you should name them. How many people were in Sly and the Family Stone? That's a good question. I think that's probably eight.
00:42:27
Speaker
Well, I can't spell right now. Chicken burger. Slay in the family stone. How many people? Chicken burger. Chicken burger. All right. Look at this. Look at this list. You have to choose from Sly Stone, Freddie Stone, Cynthia Robinson, Robinson. Jerry Martini.
00:42:57
Speaker
Larry Graham, Greg Arrico, L. John, vet Stewart, Mary McKeir, and I can't pronounce Irish names. Elvin Mooten. That's there you go. There's your eight. I guess you probably want to give them girl names. Zama Zama done done. I don't know. Something you got to name one Muhammad at least one.
00:43:26
Speaker
And then one of them Muhammad, the prophet Muhammad, the chicken. Come on, bro. Come on, dude. You gonna get goats this year? Come on, dude. Come on, bro. Probably not. It seems like a lot of work. Name one after yourself, dude. Go big boss mode.
00:43:55
Speaker
That's true. Paul Jr. The Chicken. Paul J. Pins. PJ. I don't like that name anymore. Pins would be a good chicken name. Yeah, it would. Chicken. Chicken burger. Dude, chicken burger. Yes. Chicken burger is a great one. Yeah, dude. What about that? Sure.
00:44:25
Speaker
You have to take it up with Shan. She knows the video, right? Probably not. Probably not. Are you sent it to her every morning? Probably. Probably never sent it to her. Hmm. Interesting. You haven't said chicken burger around the house at all? No.
00:44:52
Speaker
Chicken burger. What about when she asks you what do you want for dinner? You don't go chicken burger. I've never wanted a chicken burger. Well, no, that's not. Dude, what about a McChicken? It's not a chicken burger. Yeah, it is. That's what a chicken burger, if you've ever seen a meat chicken burger, it's just like a McChicken. Yeah. Literally, that's what it is. Do your research, dude.
00:45:20
Speaker
It's not like a it's not like a ground chicken patty that I don't even think that's a real thing. Those don't exist. Chicken burger. You guys have heard about that? Not familiar. Not familiar. Well, we're going to buy a coop. What are you going to name the coop?
00:45:54
Speaker
Cuticle. Coop. Firing the spelled K A M R Y N. Probably just the coop. Okay. The chicken pit. 74 inches long by 60 inches wide.
00:46:24
Speaker
That's what she said. Fuck we're even going to put this thing. You've got so much yard. You've got that whole leech field. Can't put weight on that. You can put a little chicken coop weight on it. I don't know dude. This thing was built by Amish trained. Amish trained. Let's say that's an important line right there. Craftsman.
00:46:52
Speaker
Okay. What are the chicken coop? Send a link. What are they just fucking building it? And I'm doing like that. Two fingers to the eye to the people around them. Like watch me. I'm just guys making them learn how to build a coop. Oh, that's a nice coop. Is that thing in the front where like the eggs roll down so you don't even have to like,
00:47:22
Speaker
Worked that hard to get the eggs. Yep, that big thing. Yeah, this coop sucks. I hate this coop. That's tight. How many chickens does that hold? 11? 15. Whoa. It's fucking scoops bad, dude. I wouldn't get this. It's bad coop. When I lived in New York, we used to have
00:47:46
Speaker
A lot of Amish people that lived in our town and they would, they would go to the bank that my friend's dad owned and they would all speak Pennsylvania Dutch there. Oh dude, look at this though. Instead of getting the coop, you could get like, uh, some Skittles. All right. Well, apparently it shows the same link as that.
00:48:10
Speaker
Oh, you just get a whole bunch of her rebo gold bears. You can't get this dude. It's not good. It's bad. Have a shitload of chickens. Does it have to be white? It's a good question. Maybe I could paint it. Paint it tie dye. I like that idea.
00:48:37
Speaker
All right, the first, the top review, heavy duty. First of all, this thing is heavy. The shipper said it was 750 pounds on a pallet. You absolutely need at least two people to set it up. Three people would be even better. We had to hand carry each piece about 200 feet to set to the setup site. And you need to pay close attention to the pictures and the instructions because I'm chronically challenged at putting things together.
00:49:01
Speaker
We put the nesting boxes where the back wall was supposed to be and vice versa. Once we figured out that we went wrong, we were able to dismantle and rebuild it quickly. And we're practically pros at that point. However, the pieces were very heavy, so it wasn't a fun mistake to have made. It looks great and feels like it will last a long time. At one point, two adults and two very large dogs were inside of it and
00:49:27
Speaker
uh while we put the finishing touches on with screws it was exceptionally sturdy and held up held us without any concerns that the floor would collapse i was impressed that wasn't we're gonna build a rainwater collection system off the back of it i like that i support that um use that to water the chickens with this one says
00:49:56
Speaker
This is a very well-built chicken coop. It did take guys to put it together, and it was very heavy for them. I love that the manufacturer puts locks on the doors, including where to pick up the eggs. The assembly was easy because you can see they tested the pieces before shipment to make sure everything fits perfectly with an exclamation point. I would definitely recommend this coop to those looking for something durable and dependable.
00:50:24
Speaker
So this is kind of a direct contradiction to the other guy's report, which was that it was, you had to pay close attention to the instructions. This one was that it was very easy, very sturdy coop. We set it up. We set it on site because of the weight. It isn't a hard setup, but the pieces are very heavy. I would recommend three to four people. We added a heavy gauge wire to the windows to prevent predators from getting in. We were going to add the over easy run in the near future.
00:50:54
Speaker
Okay. Should we just write it out and read the last review? Yeah, you got it. There's some one stars on there. There's a one star review and I can't find it. I won't show them to you because they probably didn't write anything. Yeah, they didn't write anything. I told you dude. Yeah, be careful. That coop sucks, dude.
00:51:19
Speaker
I suggest this coop. If anyone doesn't have time or resources to build a coop from scratch, fuck you. Quality, uh, work and reasonable price. And it was delivered right to my driveway, my chickens. And I love it. I said, go for it, dude. Yeah. I mean, that's what we're going to get. It's got a warranty. Just fucking pass. Go after the thing sucks. You can just return it. Yeah. Chef Mike told me that thing sucks, dude.
00:51:51
Speaker
Yeah, be careful. You know what you should get? Chef Mike needs to get better songs. He did. You should get two boxes. Just tape them together and you're good to go. That's true. I mean, think about it. Chicken survived for... They're in egg cartons, bro. They're good. Years and years before coops existed. Probably at least like 10 years. Just put them in your basement, dude.
00:52:20
Speaker
Mmm, we'll get wet Good it's a good call That'd be hilarious. He's like, yeah, I got magic in my face. It's destroyed He just opened the door and just ruined those seeds down there Hold on I gotta feed my chickens so much shit down there. Oh
00:52:48
Speaker
It's fucking running all over and shitting all over the place. Yeah, fuck all that. Chickens are pretty gross. Are you gonna ever kill one and eat it? Good question. If I get any more roosters, I'm just gonna put them up on Facebook again.
00:53:12
Speaker
I mean, you said that guy came in like six minutes. Bro, he, I, my phone hadn't even acknowledged that the post was made yet and he already commented on it. Yo, I've been looking for these for mad long. It's like, I like eating them so you can do whatever he wants, right? I go fuck. You could have as many as he wants. Rooster suck.
00:53:42
Speaker
Those ones are the ones that wake you up, right? Mm-hmm. Did they actually do it? Did the roosters wake me up? Yeah. Yep. Really? Damn. So when you go to Tractor Supply Co., you can't be like, hey, are these, like, it's like buying seeds. You're just like, it's a crapshoot, whether you get hens or roosters, kind of, because they say that they're sex, just like seeds. And then you might end up with some males.
00:54:11
Speaker
You ended up with like six males. I don't know. You might. You can buy a straight run or sext and tractor supply is just kind of like knowing that you're going to get. I don't know. We sell these things at $3. Bro, this is a hardware store and we just have a big old bucket of chicks here. Are you serious right now? Pretty much.
00:54:40
Speaker
The one kid told me that they can, he's like, dude, they can eat anything. Like they could eat cigarette butts. Isn't that awesome? Is it good, dude? I just eat all my like used up Zen. Yeah. It's fucking awesome, dude. That was hilarious. He's just like, yeah, I'd feed him basically anything. You'd feed him cigarette butts. I was like, Oh dude, you're good.
00:55:09
Speaker
I definitely agree they might eat them, but I don't think that's food. Yeah. I don't think I'm going to do that, but I guess I get it. Whatever. Just feed them my broken glass and basically goats. You feed them anything. Mardi Gras wigs. They really like Mardi Gras wigs. Yeah. I think that's like super annoying about them is they try to peck you. Yeah.
00:55:39
Speaker
Like you'll like turn your back on them and all of a sudden they run at you. I'm surprised in the entire year now that there hasn't been an oops where Marlo got out and just murdered them. Murdered him. Oh, actually, one time he did get out. I opened the garage and he just like ran out. Oh, no.
00:56:04
Speaker
Uh, and when I went out, he was just standing there and the chickens were standing there and they'll just staring at each other. And I whistled to him. He came back to me. I think he was like, what the fuck are these things? Interesting. Yeah, he's not, uh, he's me. He's lunged at him before, obviously, but yeah, Paul, you should order one of these too.
00:56:33
Speaker
Gold or silver? Just get the iced out Star David, dude. Been like that football player. Oh yeah, Jerry Judy. Yeah. Dude, I could, I could literally type in anything and Costco's going to have it, huh? Yeah, most likely. I'm typing. Wait, what is it? The K 47. I could get a dragon pendant. Oh, sick.
00:57:01
Speaker
dragonpendy That's expensive. No, they don't really k-47s on here dude. What a fucking sham They have Tampa Bay raised tickets on here what the fuck how crazy is that Jim Harbaugh autographed a championship helmet what the fuck Yeah ever had caviar
00:57:31
Speaker
Yeah. So it's like, yeah, it's like weird, slimy, salty fish, fish tastes like fish, slimy, texture, salty, kind of gritty. It was gross. There's no reason. There's no reason rich people should like it other than that. It's expensive.
00:57:52
Speaker
Is it about the top of sushi a lot? Or is that just? It's a, I mean, it's a row. Yeah. It's like a kind of, it's fish eggs. So yeah, if you've ever had those, it's kind of similar, but like, like beluga caviar, caviar from a sturgeon.
Culinary Discussions: Caviar and Nonstick Pans
00:58:06
Speaker
It's like a little bit bigger, but it's just fucking nasty. What about like the weird orange ones? Yeah. That's a, well, the small ones are flying fish and the bigger ones are salmon, but those are gross too.
00:58:21
Speaker
Yeah. So all those celebrity people that are just throwing that on everything and you're just losers. Yeah. Yeah. Gross. You ever have a sea urchin? Yup. Is it good? No, I don't know. I had it. I had it like, um, I had it like an Italian restaurant once. I just thought it was again, I just thought it was going to grow like,
00:58:46
Speaker
texture is like Play-Doh, but it's really like, you know, like salty and I don't know, not for me. Yeah, right. Fogwa. Fogwa is really good. You got to feel bad about eating it. It is real good. Tried it at that place. Barcelona. My friend used to be a bartender there until he, um,
00:59:14
Speaker
lost his job because people from the bar across the street, there's like a Mexican bar across the street, came in when he was working one time and he served them and then they didn't tip. And he went out and he was like, you guys are pieces of shit. You work in the industry and you don't tip. Then he got fired. Yeah. Well, he was also like the dude I bought weed from. So he was fine.
00:59:45
Speaker
We got along. Went over to his house. He was like, dude, can you believe that shit? I mean, kind of. You like yelled at a customer. I don't know. I probably would have fired you. Oh, yeah, dude. People like that are always like shocked that. They're. Can you believe that shit, dude? Behavior was like that there was consequences for their actions.
01:00:16
Speaker
Paul, could you do a get ready with me tomorrow morning for us? No. Just do a little one. Gotta be quiet in the morning, dude. Babies asleep, wife's asleep. All right, I'm getting up right now. Pretty tired from the podcast. What time do you get up when you have to be at work at 5.30?
01:00:44
Speaker
3 a.m. work at 5.30 I get up at 4.30. 4.30. It takes me like five minutes to get to work. Do you have to be up tomorrow at 5.30? Or do you have to be there at 5.30? Be up. Okay, that's not that's not as bad. Yeah, I don't have to be until 6.45 or so. It's a late day for you.
01:01:12
Speaker
Why do you still have to be there that early in the winter? Why can't you do like fucking eight o'clock? Well, because now we really started, we brought guys back and shit. Oh, okay. Uh, it's going to be 62 degrees tomorrow. I don't know if you know this, but it's spring. I'll only be out. So I'll be out there for a few hours and I got to come home. Shannon's got a doctor's appointment. Everyone's, everyone's champion at the bit to get back on the links up here. You guys are going to get a random ass snow storm in the next two to three weeks.
01:01:41
Speaker
Oh, for sure. That's what I keep saying. Not safe until Mother's Day. Yeah, and that's not even a real holiday. It's true. That's going to be out, dude. The Mother's Day has gone away. Every day is Mother's Day, if you think about it. Yes. What's on the breakfast menu tomorrow, Paul?
01:02:12
Speaker
four eggs four eggs four eggs that's a good question i don't know four hard-boiled eggs no salt no pepper yes dude no water just munching them trying to get munching on eggs peeling them in front of people just throwing egg shells on the ground yeah once caught on your finger just waving it around trying to flip it off
01:02:41
Speaker
open mouth chilling. The fresh fresh just go out there grab two eggs throw them in the pot. Yep. They probably make a thing like a thing battery powered like hard boiling egg machine that you could put in your car. You can just grab them on your way, you know, out the door and then they'd be ready by the time you got to work. I've been sketch on the air fryer.
01:03:10
Speaker
sketch on it. Why tell me more? Cause I'm using my all the time. I haven't, I haven't trusted them when I read all the, uh, like warnings they have to come with.
01:03:20
Speaker
What does that mean? Elaborate. I think it's the same thing that's in the bad pans or in the air. Oh, fuck. It's the fucking PCBs or whatever. It has to be, right? Because it's fucking black in there. And nothing sticks to it. No matter how much cheese you allow to melt on it, it just slips right off. Yeah, I agree with you.
01:03:44
Speaker
Because it has all those mornings on it from when I was trying to buy one from Walmart and I was like, oh I'm not gonna buy this It was on all of them. I was like, fuck this dude The one you and your wife got for me I use all the time and it's great But so I have it's fine. It has crossed my mind. Is this making me retarded? It might be
01:04:10
Speaker
I mean, if you think about like how my brain has been the last like 18 months. It's not a bad theory. OK. This is making me retarded. I can't stop, though. That's fucking hilarious. Feel good, though.
01:04:39
Speaker
Probably feel good if you're retarded. Air fryer safety. I mean, I don't use anything that would scratch the nonstick, but does the nonstick leach into your food when it's just being blasted at like 600 degrees? It has to, dude, right? Experts have identified cancer-related chemicals
01:05:07
Speaker
Man, I didn't even look into it this far related to high levels of certain chemicals found in some air fryers Several models of air fryer. I mean, this is a thing. What if I have the Boeing? 37 757 max of air fryers. You might have it dude. No, you got you got me a good one. It's like a Yeah, I Think it's fine. I Had one before dude. I sketched myself out. I
01:05:37
Speaker
You threw it away. Yeah, I threw, I threw my air fires away. You know how one day I'm like, you know, fuck this shit. Yeah, I know exactly.
01:05:48
Speaker
I threw away my saucepan the other day because it was the coating on it was scratched. So I was like, fuck this. I'm not using this no more. I threw it away. Yeah. Yeah. I tried to pretty much never use nonstick pans anymore. Yeah. I just use cast iron and one of those weird, uh, marble ones that are non-toxic. Oh, the ceramic ones. Yeah. Like, yeah, this will probably just exploded because it's ceramic eventually, but I'll rather take this.
01:06:18
Speaker
You think it blows my mind that there's so everybody, like there's probably 80% of the nation uses just those nonstick ones still. Dude, my 20s, I mean, before, I guess in theory you knew, but everyone was like, ah, you so many scratched up. Yeah.
01:06:37
Speaker
nonstick pans because you just didn't think about it and I even remember like I distinctly remember one time like cooking pasta and there being like little black flecks in it. That's probably the nonstick coming off but just not like you have this intuition or you have this like assumption which is stupid obviously now that you know that Boeing would literally murder somebody to avoid getting in trouble.
01:06:58
Speaker
where you're like, they wouldn't let me cook food on something that could poison me. Like they wouldn't let me do that. But it's like, yeah, of course they would. So now I think about that shit all the time. Yeah. Allegedly, allegedly. Um, yeah. And all the shit they get away with when they're like, this is safe. No one would ever lick the lid of a yogurt container.
01:07:27
Speaker
Everyone does that. Everyone licks the lid. Clutch City, baby. We did it.
01:07:48
Speaker
Alright, we'll end this so pops can get some sleep tonight. Shout out. Shout out everybody out there. Shout out all the single mothers. Shout out, uh, shout out peeps. Shout out Chef Mike. Get a new song, bro. Dude, shout out Chef Mike. Let's go. Everyone follow Chef Mike on Instagram. Chef Mike eating with Mike at eating with Mike. At eating with Mike. Don't listen to what Paul says. He's just a hater.
01:08:18
Speaker
Yeah. Remember Paul hates Robin Williams. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Bye.