Transcript
Chef Mike: Hell yeah.
Chef Mike: The sound of a loud keyboard means you know Paul's on this one.
Gay Jared C: Hell yeah. mean means we're we're all here this time.
Chef Mike: goal Full squad.
Gay Jared C: That's right.
whitekanyewest: nasty time.
Gay Jared C: nasty.
Chef Mike: It's nasty time.
Gay Jared C: super nasty Hell yeah.
Gay Jared C: What else is going down?
Chef Mike: oh I think Iran's still bombing Israel right now.
Gay Jared C: Okay.
Chef Mike: I thought that would have we would have had a like a resolution by now because I think they started doing that. We're recording on a Wednesday. think they it's been like a week now.
Gay Jared C: It's all over, right?
Chef Mike: probably
Chef Mike: As close as we've ever been to some, actually, that's a lie. Closest we ever been to World War III? Probably not, because, like, there's no way.
Gay Jared C: No one's helping.
Chef Mike: There's no way anyone in America is down with a war for, respectfully, for just for Israel.
Gay Jared C: Yeah.
Chef Mike: they are They can figure their own shit out, I think.
whitekanyewest: Shut up, you fucking goy.
Gay Jared C: yeah
Gay Jared C: Oh, shit.
Chef Mike: They can each defend, you know, iran can defend itself. Israel can defend itself. um If and until Iran, you know, attacks us.
Chef Mike: And it's got to be a good attack. It can't be like the they fucking hit a they hit our Air Force base in Pakistan. You'd be like, Pakistan was pretty fucked up anyway. You kind of...
Chef Mike: kind of knew what you were signing up for being in Pakistan. Uh, you know, it's not something here. I don't think anyone's going to be all that excited about, about that.
Gay Jared C: Yeah, so whatever. Fuck Iran, right, guys?
whitekanyewest: Fuck them all, dude.
Chef Mike: Welcome both. Dude, fuck the Middle East.
Gay Jared C: Yeah, fuck the Middle East.
Chef Mike: God. Imagine never having to hear about that place again.
Gay Jared C: Yeah. Guys, we have a huge episode today with Karen Reed not being found guilty. We have Shane Gillis is on this episode. He's...
Gay Jared C: He's in the background. He'll probably pop on throughout the episode. So just make sure you listen to the whole thing.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Gay Jared C: But he is featured. He is he is a he joined the fourth mic. He'll be guest appearing throughout. the He's got a busy tour schedule, but he'll be guest appearing.
Chef Mike: He's just getting a, yeah, he's getting a Coors Light right now. He'll be on in a sec.
whitekanyewest: Whoa, whoa, Bud Light, dude. He's sponsored by Bud Light.
Gay Jared C: He'll be on throughout the app here.
Gay Jared C: throughout the year
Chef Mike: So yeah, ah ah the state state spent ah believe probably easily $5 million, dollars potentially more, ah convicting Karen Reed of an OUI.
Gay Jared C: Can't read. Not guilty.
Chef Mike: Correct.
Gay Jared C: She was found guilty of OUI, not guilty of being Jewish in the act of a crime.
Chef Mike: Correct.
Gay Jared C: You are not Jewish, ma'am. we find We find the defendant not guilty of being Jewish. OUI.
Chef Mike: Oi, vei!
Gay Jared C: o oh OUI, am I right?
Chef Mike: Oi... Oi...
Gay Jared C: OUI.
Chef Mike: Oi...
Gay Jared C: That's what the OUI is, actually. It's OUI.
Chef Mike: o
Gay Jared C: OUI.
Gay Jared C: But yeah, no, she yeah she got away with killing her fat gay husband or boyfriend or whatever with her explorer.
Chef Mike: With Lexus.
Gay Jared C: Her Lexus, yes, exactly.
Chef Mike: Or white Lexus. So that's, yeah, that's pretty good. um The courthouse is by my gym, so I went down there around 2 o'clock today.
Gay Jared C: yeah
Chef Mike: had a system, which is that
Gay Jared C: Yuck.
Chef Mike: ah which is that the Massachusetts State Police had like 10 troopers. in a Panera parking lot by my but outside my gym every day this week since Monday, and they just chilled there all day, sitting on their motorcycles and eating Panera.
Gay Jared C: yeah
Chef Mike: And they didn't ever leave, except or they got there. you know i don't know when they got there. I never got there that early, but they'd leave around the time that court um was, whatever they call it, adjourned.
Chef Mike: But today, ah saw them all leave all at the same time around like 2 15. And and i was like, Oh, and that news wasn't saying anything yet. The news was like, the jury's still deliberating. bur
Gay Jared C: Yeah.
Chef Mike: um but they left. So I was like, Ooh, they know there's, they know there's a verdict. They got, they got called in to maintain security for when the verdict is called.
Chef Mike: So I left the gym, walked to the courthouse, While I was walking there, they announced the verdict. And then when I got there, ah defense hadn't come out yet.
Chef Mike: Walked down the stairs. Everyone fucking went nuts. And that was that. Historic day.
Gay Jared C: Okay.
Chef Mike: Historic day for Massachusetts. Never felt more out of place in a crowd. It was, I would say, 90%. 90%
Chef Mike: ninety percent like 45 year old plus blonde South shore housewives.
Chef Mike: Um, but yeah, that was that very interesting crowd. I, you can't really pick your supporters. I have to imagine Karen Reed is a little bit like fuck.
whitekanyewest: Hmm. Hmm.
whitekanyewest: Hmm.
Chef Mike: This is like you could take you could have taken the entire crowd outside of her outside of her trial every day.
Gay Jared C: Correct.
Chef Mike: People who have gathered High Street and Dedham every day for the last three months. You could ah you could put them all in a Margaritaville.
Gay Jared C: Correct.
Gay Jared C: correct
Chef Mike: And it would like there would be no distinguishing between the two.
Gay Jared C: Does does her her crowd looks exactly like what they would do? They would all do the same crime that she did, basically.
Chef Mike: Oh, that's... Dude, first of all, the fun... I mean, it's not... I mean, there was people, like, who brought flasks and, like, bottles of champagne and shit who were...
Gay Jared C: Nice.
Chef Mike: who... When they announced the verdict, like, started drinking, which...
Gay Jared C: Oh, God.
Chef Mike: Which for... You know... Frankly, she shouldn't have been charged with an OUI because she put up with enough shit. But I get that they needed, like, a little bit of meat. So, fine.
Gay Jared C: Hey, she needed a little bit of me, am I right?
Chef Mike: But the funny... That's right.
Gay Jared C: Oh!
Chef Mike: ah
Gay Jared C: Not guilty of being Jewish.
Chef Mike: Hold on.
Gay Jared C: Flat out.
whitekanyewest: Zynga. zga
Gay Jared C: Flat butt.
Chef Mike: um But I think the funniest thing to do at an OUI sentencing is to ah pop bob champagne.
Chef Mike: So that was pretty great.
Gay Jared C: Hmm.
Gay Jared C: Yeah, it's like a um like ah heroin sentencing if everybody just like just started lighting up like the filter end of a cigarette.
Chef Mike: Karen, we love you
Gay Jared C: Fucking love you, Garrett.
Chef Mike: Karen.
Gay Jared C: We're so happy you're not fucking Jewish and shit. Hell yeah. Happy happy for you. We're fucking super happy.
Chef Mike: Like, like, you know, she gets to, she gets to, oh, she's for sure already blackout drunk.
Gay Jared C: isn She's going to get wasted tonight out of all
Chef Mike: Paul, before we started recording, Paul and i were joking. She's going to drive.
Gay Jared C: this.
Chef Mike: She's going fucking
Gay Jared C: She's going to run over someone else.
whitekanyewest: Get into drunk driving accident.
Chef Mike: Yeah, she's gonna back into her lawyer.
Gay Jared C: Oh my God.
Chef Mike: um Yeah, for she's so she gets to be a normal person again, technically.
Gay Jared C: Not really.
Chef Mike: like she can and i mean, never again, but she can go to like the grocery store, theoretically, but forever. And like civilized people will just leer across an aisle at her and be like, is a fuck?
Chef Mike: Karen Reed. Holy shit. And like text their friends and be like, think i I think think Karen Reed is at the same market basket as me right now. Uh, but people, the people who are outside the courthouse are going to be the ones who like run up to her and bother her while she's deciding which flavor of Triscuits to buy.
whitekanyewest: Yeah, she better not let me catch her at a big Y.
Chef Mike: going to be Karen, Karen.
Gay Jared C: Yeah, she's
whitekanyewest: going ask her to sign stuff.
Chef Mike: I was outside the courthouse every day for you. I Yes. Like, uh...
whitekanyewest: I'm going to show up with the with a broken tail light and ask her to sign it.
Gay Jared C: Oh my god. ah Yeah.
whitekanyewest: stick with
Chef Mike: yeah yes
Gay Jared C: ah I'm going to show up with a kippah and ask her to sign it.
Gay Jared C: Ha ha ha.
Chef Mike: like ah
Gay Jared C: Karen, I fucking love you. I'm so happy you didn't get convicted of being a ah jewish ah Jewish person. That's so fucked. She's like, what?
Gay Jared C: Okay.
Chef Mike: ah Oh, the other funny thing is like the amount of like throwaway minor celebrities exist in a in a thing like that. Like people like the random guy who's been doing the court TV coverage and people were like, oh, my God, it's.
Chef Mike: Jack Blair, he's like, like taking pictures with him and like they're like some woman had him like sign her hoodie.
Gay Jared C: yes
Chef Mike: was like, what are you go to do with that? You're going to show people that you, the signature of them be like, Oh yeah, that's the guy who did court TV during Karen Reed's trial. You don't know who that is.
Chef Mike: And then, and then so many people who are just live streaming the whole thing outside. Like you just see people walking by and be like, yeah. So like, all right, I'm just like walking through the crowd again.
Chef Mike: yeah They're like still deliberating. So like, This is nuts. There's like probably 1,000 people here. But just like that the whole day. And presumably, I've been doing that for months.
Chef Mike: And that's like... I don't know. What are you like? You and your 103 followers?
Gay Jared C: Yeah, I'm in like the capital, like the gay guy town.
Chef Mike: like
Gay Jared C: i don't know where the fuck, what town this is, but there's ton of gay guys that live here and reside here only. And Karen Reed. Hopefully she's not guilty.
Chef Mike: Basically.
whitekanyewest: You see Turtle Boy?
Chef Mike: I did see turtle boy.
whitekanyewest: Say what's up to him. Tell him you better not catch him and dead him again.
Chef Mike: ah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, that, I mean, obviously to some extent he makes the most sense for being a minor celebrity because he like got charged with a crime and stuff, but yeah, he definitely, there was definitely like a sense of,
Chef Mike: like he would show up and people would be like, Oh my God, that's turtle boy. That's Aiden canny.
Gay Jared C: Yeah, they don't have Shane Gillis, though, on their podcast.
Chef Mike: Oh yeah. Shane. ah
Gay Jared C: Shane, you want to say something? ah he's but He's busy.
Chef Mike: No shit.
Gay Jared C: He just walked out of the room.
Chef Mike: Yeah. So I think he's going to the bathroom.
Gay Jared C: He is on the podcast, though. You have to to put that in the podcast title featuring Shane Gillis.
Chef Mike: Yeah. All
Chef Mike: all right. Yeah. I'll do that. don't think that's illegal or anything.
Gay Jared C: No, it's not. It's fine, dude. We need we need to we need to draw a crowd.
Gay Jared C: So, yeah.
whitekanyewest: from the taco truck.
Gay Jared C: I don't think ah the problem with Karen Reed is she at the end of the day, her boyfriend is dead and she does not give a fuck.
Chef Mike: Oh, the, oh.
Gay Jared C: There's no remorse out of her about killing her boyfriend.
Chef Mike: Um.
Chef Mike: I definitely, like, changes your, I feel like how changes your perspective on that kind of thing. Yeah, just for how long. So, everyone's going nuts outside the courthouse.
Chef Mike: Uh, she walks out to, like, you know, the, like, podium of microphones, which whoever set that up, fuck them, because they set it up right in front of us the steps.
Chef Mike: So she had to like lean down to talk into the microphone. So if you watch a video of it, it's actually kind of funny because she's like not a tall person, but she's like three up three steps from where the microphones are.
whitekanyewest: Thank you.
Gay Jared C: Amen.
Chef Mike: So she's still like leaning. But anyway, she's everyone's going nuts. She is also like they're not going to let her stand there for 20 minutes talking. Like the police are like trying to move things along because they've closed the streets down and everything.
Chef Mike: She's got 15 seconds to make a statement. She says, ah just want to say i couldn't have done this without everyone here who's supporting me. And also no one did more for to, to find justice for John O'Keefe than I did.
Gay Jared C: Oh We're trying to figure out, we're trying to find the guy who did this.
Chef Mike: No one did more than no one did more than me
whitekanyewest: She's like Trump.
Chef Mike: And then he goes, thank you. But no.
whitekanyewest: No one's more Jewish than me. I'm the most Jewish.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Like, whatever. I get that it's hard to how in that moment, what do you say? And i don't, you know, who knows if she thought about it beforehand, but I was like, that was weird.
Chef Mike: That was a weird way to.
Gay Jared C: I did have the thought of when she did come out of the doors, if she hit the the Trump YMCA song coming out would be fucking hot fire.
Chef Mike: Oh yeah
whitekanyewest: She starts doing the dance.
Gay Jared C: um for
Chef Mike: ah Honestly, they would have gone nuts. The other thing, which, which again, yeah absolutely fits with my prior statement of you could take that entire crowd, put them in Hawaiian shirts and put them in a Margaritaville and it would fit perfectly is the number of MAGA hats and people with Trump tattoos and t-shirts and stuff.
Gay Jared C: No.
Gay Jared C: No way. They're on the same side?
Chef Mike: at least 50% of the crowd was overtly, overtly pro-Trump.
Gay Jared C: They're on the same side?
Chef Mike: Like, wore wore the hats or something.
Gay Jared C: No way.
Chef Mike: And then, so you have to figure some of the other half of the crowd who aren't are, just aren't wearing the hats or aren't wearing, yes, it was a, I was shocked to see how many,
Chef Mike: like want wore the MAGA hat or wore the Trump t-shirt people were in that crowd yeah it was nuts so she absolutely could she could have walked out to the YMCA team and I think that crowd still would have gone nuts
Gay Jared C: No way. That's nuts.
whitekanyewest: Gotta let them know, dude.
Gay Jared C: That would have been fucking awesome if she hit that, dude. Young man.
Chef Mike: and then the other thing is lot of these fucking idiots like the guy from ah like the guy from what is that fucking Netflix documentary with the
whitekanyewest: and
Chef Mike: tigers joe like joe exotic who like decided to become trump people because they wanted a pardon if she had gotten convicted i totally could have seen her what you know you get you get convicted you realize half your supporters are are trump people anyway so then you're like i'm calling on president trump to pardon me
Gay Jared C: Joe Exotic?
Gay Jared C: Yes.
Gay Jared C: Totally. Just...
Gay Jared C: it
Gay Jared C: Surprisingly, it just worked for my favorite reality TV family. that Todd and Julie Grizzly got pardoned like two weeks ago after sentenced to 12 and seven years for stealing like $23 million.
Chef Mike: Yeah, that was.
Gay Jared C: dollars And
Chef Mike: Yeah. Absolutely crazy, because it it literally.
Gay Jared C: faking bank statements and getting loan after loan.
Chef Mike: Yes, there's like no disputing that they did that. It's just and.
Chef Mike: You know. and i know there's a big old stack of people who have requested pardons from the president. many of whom are way more deserving, but just way less famous.
Chef Mike: Like every time they, you know, prior to Trump anyway, every time a president would do like a, like a round of pardons and it would be, you know, it would be like
Chef Mike: Darius Tarnell was imprisoned in 1945 rape of every girl in his town
Gay Jared C: Yes.
Chef Mike: ah he was he was He was convicted when a six-year-old girl pointed to him and said him and found unanimously guilty for seven consecutive life sentences.
Gay Jared C: Yes.
Gay Jared C: yeah
Chef Mike: And then and like DNA evidence exonerated him 40 years ago, but no one cared. So he's been in prison since. And the president's like, I have pardoned him.
Gay Jared C: yeah
Chef Mike: Everyone's like, that's so brave. And they're like, how did it how did this not get fixed sooner? i know there's a stack of those on his desk.
Gay Jared C: Oh, yeah. Hundreds and thousands of.
Chef Mike: That he's like, that are just so boring to him, but it's like the Grizzlies when they're like, Trump, we need you.
Gay Jared C: Trump, please, we send our last dollars to you on the campaign trail. And then he hit the Grizzlies and then he's going be like, um yeah, Darnell, Darnell milkshake, LeBron James, we're not going to do you this time. But Derek Chauvin, you're pardoned.
Chef Mike: Yes.
Gay Jared C: We're going to give Derek Chauvin another chance.
Chef Mike: Like, sir, there's...
Gay Jared C: He's actually head of director of police for the entire government now. Yeah.
Chef Mike: Yeah. There's actually no not a limit on how many people you can pardon, sir. You could pardon all of them. like, no.
Gay Jared C: Sir, you could pardon Darnell Milkshake LeBron James if you really could. I mean, there's DNA evidence proving that he didn't do it.
Chef Mike: out my pen's out of ink. Oh, I would sign it, but my pen...
Gay Jared C: dead That's gay.
Chef Mike: The pen's out of ink. What can you do?
Gay Jared C: That's too gay.
Chef Mike: and don't make They don't make these pens like they used to The pens, they you you can only sign five pardons and then the pen's out of ink. Nothing I can do.
Gay Jared C: Derek Chauvin, I love them. Love them. Great guy. Maroon 5. Very good guy.
whitekanyewest: How do you, uh, how do you think that that cop who called her a whack job con said he wished she would kill herself is feeling right now?
Chef Mike: he's ah He did an interview on, what it, 2020? He did an interview. I didn't watch it. didn't have time to watch it before this. But, yeah, they interviewed him tonight. So I'm
Gay Jared C: Oh, my God. That's awesome.
Chef Mike: very curious.
whitekanyewest: She's a babe. Weird fall accent and fall river accent though.
Chef Mike: He didn't. Yeah.
whitekanyewest: this is
Gay Jared C: Yeah, she's still Nancy Reagan, whatever your name is.
whitekanyewest: No ass. Okay.
Gay Jared C: She's still a stupid bitch. She's definitely guilty.
Chef Mike: Yes. Super weird that they got that like the news got him in for an interview when he wasn't called in as a witness. Like, be like, so ah what do you think? What do you have to say for yourself now? And he's like, yeah, that was a that was a joke.
Chef Mike: I'm not a bad guy.
whitekanyewest: Oh, he's wicked fat now.
Chef Mike: yeah oh yeah, he's been he's been eating well.
Gay Jared C: No way. Is that the guy that was ah got fired?
whitekanyewest: Yeah.
Chef Mike: Yes, Michael Proctor.
whitekanyewest: yeah
Gay Jared C: What's his... No way.
Chef Mike: Yeah, he's so fat now.
Gay Jared C: I gotta see how fat he is.
Chef Mike: He's been eating his feelings for sure.
whitekanyewest: Compared to what he looked like when he was reading the text.
Gay Jared C: oh holy shit. he He's... Yeah, he's... Damn, he's cooked.
whitekanyewest: He's wicked red in this 2020 season.
Gay Jared C: Yeah, he's been drinking every single day.
whitekanyewest: interview. what was going to say. It looks like he's been drinking nonstop.
Gay Jared C: Every day he's been crushing fucking booze. Good God.
whitekanyewest: Fuck. If I could just, if I could just hit Karen, fuck.
Gay Jared C: Now fucking kick her ass.
whitekanyewest: Just a fucking whack job, cunt. Fuck.
Gay Jared C: She wasn't from Fall River.
whitekanyewest: No ass.
Gay Jared C: I'd fucking beat the shit out of her.
Gay Jared C: Damn. She's home. Glad she's home, even though she's been home this whole time. It's funny to say stuff. Glad my girl's free, finally. Fuck the system.
Chef Mike: Yep.
Gay Jared C: right and Right in time for Juneteenth, too.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Gay Jared C: She's definitely going to be celebrating.
Chef Mike: I think that had something to do with it because court would have been out tomorrow.
Gay Jared C: True. True.
Chef Mike: They were like, do we and ah and they wouldn't have made, they wouldn't have had a holiday and then come back on a Friday.
Gay Jared C: Great point.
Chef Mike: it would have been like, Hey guys, make up your fucking mind now, or you can't get back to your life till Monday. they were like, fine, not guilty. We figured it out.
Chef Mike: because they were having problems all week.
Gay Jared C: True.
Gay Jared C: Jesus Christmas.
Gay Jared C: but baba and bu ba bit I can't, I can't imagine what she's up to tonight. Should've got, I should've got involved in that party somehow.
Chef Mike: Hmm.
Gay Jared C: So I'm like, what's going on? What's ah go's going on here?
Gay Jared C: Whoa. She's definitely driving drunk in the next two to three months.
Chef Mike: Oh, yeah.
Gay Jared C: She's got to call an Uber.
Chef Mike: Uber. Although if you have any takeaway from this case,
Chef Mike: um every cop drives drunk.
Gay Jared C: Yes.
Chef Mike: all the All the time.
whitekanyewest: Of course, dude.
Gay Jared C: is pretty crazy.
whitekanyewest: Of course.
Chef Mike: And not even like, I'm not saying you should ever drive drunk, but not even in a like, I'm just leaving the bar and going straight home.
Gay Jared C: Yeah.
Chef Mike: and i'm gonna and I'm going to take the back roads, i'm going to take the highway, because, like, whatever. I'm good at driving that way. ah They drive drunk, like, from one bar to another, and then and then from that bar to someone's house, and then from that person's house to the police station, and then to the from the police station back to that person's house, and then from that person's house home.
Gay Jared C: yeah
Chef Mike: They drive drunk, like, six times in one night all the time. So, uh, don't really have
Gay Jared C: So who killed fat John Keefe? That's the question.
Gay Jared C: Jerry.
Chef Mike: any. Uh, yeah, I think, um, I have theories. Theory number one.
Gay Jared C: What's the one that everybody thinks?
Chef Mike: I would say the people at the courthouse think that he went inside the
whitekanyewest: Oh, I get it.
Chef Mike: Yeah, they think that he went inside the house. They think that he went inside the side door of the house that leads into the garage. Inside the garage was the Albert's dog, who's like a former police dog, German shepherd.
Chef Mike: That isn't good with people that like and has been known to bite people. So he goes into the house through the side door into the garage where they're keeping the unfriendly dog, the unfriendly dog.
Chef Mike: like lunges at him and bites his arm. Cause he had dog bites on his arm and he falls backwards and like smacks the back of his head on the concrete stairs in the garage.
Gay Jared C: Oh my God.
Chef Mike: And then at some point they found him probably like right away. Cause I heard the dog going nuts. They find him. He's extremely dead. And they're like, shit, this looks bad. And they toss him in the yard.
Gay Jared C: Oh my God.
Gay Jared C: Oh my God.
Chef Mike: That's what, That's what they think happened this year. Last year, they thought he went into the basement of the house and then Colin Albert, albert who is the homeowner's young son, like punched him or something.
Gay Jared C: What the fuck?
Chef Mike: And then million-dollar babied him, basically. like Punched him and he fell over and hit his head and died. More or less the same. They just replaced Colin Albert with it. Because the judge said they weren't allowed to mention his name this trial.
Gay Jared C: Okay.
Chef Mike: So they just replaced him with a dog. Um, I don't know why nobody has put forth the theory. What if he was just like walking to the side yard to take a piss and slipped and And hit his fucking head on a rock or something. And just died. like No one went to like.
Gay Jared C: True.
Chef Mike: This was a freak accident. that
Gay Jared C: True.
Chef Mike: Like a snowy night. He was drunk as shit. The ground was frozen. Just be like. Yeah maybe he fucking slipped and hit his head. That shit happens every time it snows.
Gay Jared C: True.
Chef Mike: um So that's a theory. Also she probably hit him.
Gay Jared C: You think so?
Chef Mike: She probably hit him you probably hit him a little bit.
Gay Jared C: That's the original theory. He came outside to go into the car or something and she just backed into him.
whitekanyewest: She dropped them off and backed into them.
Chef Mike: ah
Gay Jared C: That's the kind of rules too.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Yeah, I think you like she like let him out. or So here's the thing. He was...
Chef Mike: Uh, he was, so the, the story that they had is that he was going to, they went to the house and then she decided she didn't want to go to the party anymore. And he was going to go inside, like say hi to everyone and then tell them like, Hey, Karen doesn't want to come.
Chef Mike: I'm going to leave. So he was supposed to like pop in, pop out, only be in there for like max 10 minutes. And then they were going to leave together and go back to his house.
Chef Mike: So yeah, potentially like she pulls over at the house, he gets out and then like drunk time, drunk time warp.
Chef Mike: Three minutes could be an hour. An hour could be 15 seconds. He's just like tying his shoe on the back bumper or something. And she thinks like, Oh, he's been in there for like 30 minutes. He's not coming out and like backs up and he's like standing there or something to that effect.
Chef Mike: I don't know though. You'd know if you fucking hit a person.
Chef Mike: You're drunken. if you're If you're capable of driving enough that you like didn't, you're not just like swerving all over the road and running into parked cars and shit. yourre You have enough wherewithal to know like, oh shit, I think I just ran over a guy.
Chef Mike: ah believe that.
whitekanyewest: Good morning.
Chef Mike: Young man.
whitekanyewest: Good morning.
Chef Mike: Young man.
Gay Jared C: True. dog playing the shit out of him
Chef Mike: yeah ah
Chef Mike: I mean, that's the thing. It's like, ah she did he did have dog bites on his arm now. So like...
Gay Jared C: true
Chef Mike: Can't just be that she hit him. It's such a, it's so fucked up. Cause like, you know, like there's never anything, you know, like in a trial or whatever, like there's not new things. It's like, we've done this before. Like,
Gay Jared C: And they got rid of the dog, you said, right?
Chef Mike: yeah, they rehomed the dog. And then even the person they gave the dog away to gave the dog away again.
Gay Jared C: Oh, my God. This dog just fucked up.
Chef Mike: So, yeah, you know that dog immediately started biting people. um But like, so like they have all these experts come in and during the trial who are like, oh, ah you know, like a dog did this or like a car did this or whatever. And then, you know, they get cross examined and the lawyers are like, how many other trials have you dealt with like this? they're like a thousand.
Chef Mike: They're like, well, how sure are you? And they're like, I'm absolutely sure. Uh, but then they're like, how many, how many trials or how many times have you dealt with a dog bite where you didn't already know that it was a dog bite? Or like, how many times have you dealt with ah like a a case involving ah somebody being hit by a car where we don't actually know if they were hit by a car? Like there's no video, there's no eyewitness. And they're like zero, like genuinely a situation where,
Chef Mike: No one, no one who saw no one, either nobody saw anything or nobody who saw anything was willing to speak. And they're just like, and you're literally just like making shit up.
Gay Jared C: Yes.
Chef Mike: Like these, these like medical experts who have literally have been like, I've done 4,000 autopsies. And like, how many times have you autopsied a person where you don't know how, like where they're alleged to be hit by a car, but there's no, you know, like video. And they're like zero times.
Chef Mike: Like there's doesn't happen.
Chef Mike: very weird case.
Gay Jared C: Never happens.
Chef Mike: Never happens.
Gay Jared C: What did she do when she found out she was not killed? Did she jump up and down?
whitekanyewest: Thank you.
Chef Mike: um She like cried and then hugged everyone, hugged her defense team.
Gay Jared C: Okay.
Chef Mike: Like, like at the moment the verdict was read, she like,
Gay Jared C: That's fair.
Chef Mike: cried and then hugged everyone like the people standing next to her, which was like her lawyers and then her parents. and And she was like in there for like over a half hour. So I'm assuming you probably have to sign. You have probably more paperwork than you realize to be like found not guilty.
Gay Jared C: What's the inside of the hand gesture that she did when she came out? Is that a, yeah some people are saying it's some type of right-wing Nazi gang that was involved in?
Chef Mike: Yeah, it means, ah yeah, it means, ah yeah, you got it right. It means it means death to Israel.
Chef Mike: ah Yeah.
Gay Jared C: What do you think of the, ah what if she did do it and she knew she did it and then all of these people celebrating that she's not guilty?
Chef Mike: I think that's possible.
Gay Jared C: Like Jesus Christ.
Chef Mike: Like if she's just like a really like she's like if she's like a really good actor and or a sociopath. Like, yeah, i think in I think if that's the case. Yeah,
Chef Mike: yeah you kind of have to like believe your own lie, right? Like you just convince yourself, you know, I don't know.
Gay Jared C: Yes.
Chef Mike: That shit happens, I guess.
Gay Jared C: Okay.
Chef Mike: two i had two managers when i was when i worked at Urban Outfitters who faked serious injuries just to get to go on vacation.
Gay Jared C: Okay.
Chef Mike: so Some people are just... i mean i'm not equivoc I'm not saying they're the same as murdering someone, but I could never pretend to have cancer just to like get out of work. and I know two people who have done that.
Gay Jared C: yeah
whitekanyewest: and
Gay Jared C: Yes.
Gay Jared C: Perfect.
whitekanyewest: yo Tony Michael Jones worker's gonna work baby
Gay Jared C: yeah
Gay Jared C: Holy shit.
whitekanyewest: worker's gonna work I'm down here with my sign and holding the sign worker's gonna work baby got my big swiggy worker's gonna work that's gonna be Karen Reed's new motto worker's gonna work
Chef Mike: I do wonder what her next thing is.
Gay Jared C: She better.
whitekanyewest: make a Netflix documentary and get rich over the death of her boyfriend.
Chef Mike: She'll definitely do that. She'll definitely do some like book deal documentary shit. Cause I mean, if for no other reason that she's like at least $3 million dollars in debt right now.
Chef Mike: So doing any of those things helps to pay. And then she's gonna, she's still getting ah sued civilly, which, Who the fuck knows? She could be found guilty in civil court because the standard of evidence is lower. And end up owing the fucking O'Keeffe family $10 million dollars or something. Like, who the fuck knows?
Chef Mike: um
Gay Jared C: How is she going to pay her lawyers? Because they I'm sure they owe like $40,000 billion right now. billion dollars right now
Chef Mike: So they did it.
whitekanyewest: I did that shit pro bono.
Chef Mike: Yeah, they so you still have to obviously pay the experts and shit. Like she hired, like ARCA charged them like 20 grand. um I'm sure the other experts charged something. So she was probably in the whole a few hundred thousand dollars for like experts and hotels and shit. But the actual law firm, which would have been the most expensive thing, like just Alan Jackson, which is one of her three main lawyers, normally charges $2,500 an hour. And he was doing it for free.
Gay Jared C: Wow. He lucky he got her off.
Chef Mike: Yes, in more ways than one.
whitekanyewest: Hmm.
Gay Jared C: as of as a fellow As a fellow Jew, as a fellow jew i
whitekanyewest: Hmm.
Chef Mike: It's a deep cut for everyone who knows ah the rumor that they're hooking up.
Gay Jared C: your honor, my client, I can tell you, is not Jewish. Okay. We'll take that into into consideration.
Chef Mike: Okay.
Gay Jared C: Thank you very much.
Chef Mike: I mean, honestly, look at that legal. Yanetti, Alessi, and Jackson.
Gay Jared C: Jackson's non-Jew.
Chef Mike: None of them are. They're Italians.
Gay Jared C: I need all of you. I would have fired all of them and go, I need more Bergs and Mans. and
Chef Mike: Yes.
Gay Jared C: That's it. All you guys are fired.
whitekanyewest: I don't know, dude, Italian lawyers out here hold some weight.
Chef Mike: i mean, let's be real Italian. What's the difference between Italians and Jews actually?
Gay Jared C: That's true.
whitekanyewest: A lot of grease.
Gay Jared C: Yeah.
whitekanyewest: and
Gay Jared C: Stomach issues and heart issues.
whitekanyewest: Pizza. if
Gay Jared C: um Yeah, I don't know. I guess I'd be torn. I guess that makes sense. I would put one Italian and then the rest, I guess, would be Jewish guys.
whitekanyewest: It's not a money thing though, you know?
Gay Jared C: That's the problem, I guess.
Chef Mike: Yeah,
Gay Jared C: Maybe she was going to go all Jewish council and they're like, there's ah we can't do a pro bono, honey. Sorry.
Chef Mike: yeah exactly.
Gay Jared C: There's no way that we're doing pro bono. We don't even know what the fuck that means.
whitekanyewest: Pro-what-o?
Gay Jared C: Excuse me?
Chef Mike: Maybe if you join the tribe, we could we could do something for you, but for the goy, you're out of luck.
Gay Jared C: Yeah.
whitekanyewest: She needed Larry David. Gotta come in and make a play for her.
Gay Jared C: Adam Sandler. she Adam Sandler come in, be all Jewish and stuff, dress in Uncut Gems outfit and represent her.
Chef Mike: Sing the Hanukkah song.
Gay Jared C: Yeah, exactly.
Gay Jared C: Exactly.
Chef Mike: Vote not guilty.
Gay Jared C: Karen.
Gay Jared C: Oh, my God.
whitekanyewest: and point yeah yeah
Gay Jared C: oh my god She hit John with a car. Hit John with a car.
Gay Jared C: yeah
Chef Mike: I can go deeper with that bit if I have time to think of lyrics.
Gay Jared C: Or, yeah, I mean, classic Adam Sandler being a lawyer is pretty funny.
Chef Mike: is closing argument.
Gay Jared C: yeah what She did not hit him with the car.
Chef Mike: Pulls out the acoustic guitar.
Gay Jared C: <unk>
whitekanyewest: Hehehehe.
Gay Jared C: You're not.
Gay Jared C: Oh, man. and be so He's just uncut gems from like the waist up and then regular Adam Sandler waist down, just basketball shorts, huge crazy socks and like Timberlands on.
Gay Jared C: Oh, man.
Gay Jared C: Karen Reed, more like Karen. Karen drive because she drove over that fucking idiot. Am I right? yeah
Gay Jared C: Karen Reed more like Karen Redd because of all the blood that came out of that guy's head and when she ran she ran him over.
Chef Mike: Oh man.
Gay Jared C: You do one.
Chef Mike: Karen Reed more like Karen.
Chef Mike: ah
Chef Mike: Karen greed because she killed her boyfriend so she could make a bunch of money on HBO documentaries.
Gay Jared C: yeah
Gay Jared C: Yes.
Gay Jared C: Officer Proctor, more like Officer Faggot Fat Bitch.
Gay Jared C: God is ass.
Chef Mike: Oh my God. How that dude had any interest in reminding people that he existed is crazy to me.
Gay Jared C: Oh, my God.
Chef Mike: Why would you go on TV to be like, Oh, I'm not an asshole. Please, please forgive me.
Gay Jared C: George Floyd more like George Noid. I right, guys? That was a close one.
Chef Mike: Remember that? Remember the Noid? Remember the Noid from Domino's?
Gay Jared C: Karen Reed's bitch ass. She's at Eataly right now in Boston, probably. That's somewhere hilarious.
Gay Jared C: She's at Mike's Pastries right now, I bet.
Chef Mike: Imagine if she fucks up her probation.
Gay Jared C: Oh, my God. What's her probation? She can't run over anybody or she's...
Chef Mike: Yeah, she can't. She's not allowed to drive drunk for a year.
Gay Jared C: Stay away from the dogs. Do not go near any. Oh, man. What if in two years she is back in a courtroom and everybody's like, Jesus Christ.
Chef Mike: She's going to do an OJ if I did it.
Gay Jared C: Yeah, she might she might have the luck of the guy who pushed his wife down the staircase in that documentary.
Gay Jared C: Who clearly pushed his wife down the staircase.
Chef Mike: no for sure. Yes.
Gay Jared C: And then some who crazy shit happened.
Gay Jared C: Oh my God.
Chef Mike: I've I've certain I have like any man, I've certainly thought about pushing her down the staircase, but I but I didn't.
Gay Jared C: So there's a comically like blood impersonation on the wall of your wife's head hitting the wall after she got pushed down at 56 miles an hour down the staircase.
Gay Jared C: I don't know how that happened. I have no idea how that happened.
Gay Jared C: i I didn't how that happened. said Adam I'm sorry.
Chef Mike: Oh, yeah, that I was, it's crazy.
Gay Jared C: ah
Chef Mike: I like to hunt with my friends, and i i was I was dragging a deer up the stairs so we could field dress it in in the upstairs bedroom, and I dropped it halfway, and it just, blood everywhere.
Gay Jared C: In the third floor, yeah, the third floor, it happened at the same exact time.
Gay Jared C: she should have brought the black black israelites out with her
Gay Jared C: Karen Reed, she is not guilty. These are all reparations.
Chef Mike: We are the original Jews.
Gay Jared C: ah We came over here on the ships from Israel. One love.
Chef Mike: these Today's Jews are descendants of gypsies. They are not God's chosen people. We are.
Gay Jared C: I love how all and the black Israelites are always wearing like the the most de most deaf hats, the short-brimmed army hats that those hip-minded black guys wear.
Chef Mike: Yes. Yes. Indie rap dudes.
Gay Jared C: Yes, exactly. Yeah.
Chef Mike: that Fidel Castro hats and over the ear headphones.
Gay Jared C: Yes, exactly. I've always, somehow I've worked with one of those guys somewhere and it's always, always the same stuff. Always this, they're all into the worst types of rap. It's insane.
Gay Jared C: Sometimes they like tech nine, you know, that's a big, that's a big selling point.
Gay Jared C: Don't ever talk to me again.
Gay Jared C: Word, yo, one love. Word.
Gay Jared C: What is it? Word is bond. Like, shut up.
Chef Mike: Or does bond or does bond.
Gay Jared C: Shut up. Have you heard ah the ah the local, you know, he's a big, he's big. i You've definitely heard of him. ah Staircase Masterfy.
Gay Jared C: He really spits the truth, brother. Let me let me give you some of his stuff. It's just always the same shit. Either a black or white guy that reps the same exact way.
Gay Jared C: It's like, in the sky, you think that's pigeons. It's not pigeons. It's on the sky. Motorized. It's the same shit every time you're like, I'm going fucking kill myself with some of this shit.
Gay Jared C: Like, yo, know you got to listen to the lyrics, though. You got listen to the lyrics on this. This hot. This different. This going to get your mind different.
Gay Jared C: Those same guys are are going home and drinking Mad Dog and smoking like two black milds back-to-back chain smoking two blacks and they're out of their mind. They're reciting the Bible.
Gay Jared C: They're all a little bit schizophrenic.
Gay Jared C: um see Oh, man.
Chef Mike: Need to
Chef Mike: All right.
Chef Mike: right Did anyone actually watch any of, uh, any of his parade last week?
Gay Jared C: no No, not at all. I've been trying to finish the Ocean Gate thing.
Chef Mike: I put uh, true, uh, bad, I guess.
Gay Jared C: How did it go?
Chef Mike: I put a side by side on the, on the Reddit. Cause that was the only place I, I couldn't, up I couldn't put it on discord of, uh, I think the parade was the 70th. So the one that I put it next to I think was the 70th anniversary of North Korea.
Chef Mike: So like, arguably you could be like the 70th anniversary of a country is a bigger deal to them than the 250th anniversary of the army.
Gay Jared C: Yes.
Chef Mike: Maybe you could argue that, but also like, I think like,
Chef Mike: uh, one, the U S army has way bigger, like victories to celebrate than ah North Korea as a country has any like thing to actually celebrate.
Gay Jared C: Yep.
Chef Mike: And also, I think probably like 20 million people live in North Korea. So like, you know, like less than the amount of people that live in LA.
Chef Mike: ah
Gay Jared C: yep
Chef Mike: So that's a lie. Maybe LA County. um Two LA counties, maybe. Anyway. ah ah In any event, my my two cents, if you can't do a parade that beats, if you can't do a military parade that beats Kim Jong-un's 70th anniversary of Korea parade, just don't do it.
Gay Jared C: It's tough. It's tough to do.
Chef Mike: We didn't, we don't do, like, America, if if if America had, like, a long tradition of doing parades, ah that would be one thing. where we everyone was like, we want a parade.
Chef Mike: ah We didn't do like a 200th anniversary of the army parade 50 years ago, because we don't do parades. We're not like a big... At least we the government doesn't do parades.
Chef Mike: um In America, parades are inherently gay.
Gay Jared C: No.
Chef Mike: The gay zone parades.
Gay Jared C: Yes, that's what was going to say.
Chef Mike: Even even like even like the St. Patrick's Day parade or like your 4th of July parade, they're very gay.
Gay Jared C: Yes, who does 4th of July parades?
Chef Mike: That's just...
Chef Mike: does Is that on a thing?
Gay Jared C: Okay.
Chef Mike: My hometown did 4th July parades.
Gay Jared C: okay
Chef Mike: Anyway, parades are for the gays. All parades. Irish heritage, gay. Veterans, gay. 4th of July, gay. We don't do it.
Gay Jared C: Not the holiday, not the holiday 4th of July rules.
Chef Mike: Yeah, no, no. Not the holiday rules. The parade, gay.
Gay Jared C: Yes.
Chef Mike: you know In my hometown, and this would probably dox me, but it's funny anyway. there's a guy who owned a car dealership. It's closed now, but there was a car dealership in my hometown and the guy who owned it, like hometown hero, a celebrity kind of guy.
Chef Mike: Cause he's just like the guy who runs the business that a bunch of people in the town work for would paint himself red light and, and wear a native American headdress.
Gay Jared C: Yep. No way.
Chef Mike: And he was a very white man and he would ah ride on a horseback through the town parade on the 4th of July every year until he died.
Gay Jared C: Okay. Holy shit.
Chef Mike: Well, well past the point where it was okay. But everyone was just like, that's the guy and he's old and crazy and no one, and no one's going to tell him no.
Gay Jared C: Yes.
Gay Jared C: Correct.
Chef Mike: Like, but like 2003, white, white business owner riding dressed as a native American, like, and I mean like headdress and a loincloth and the rest of his body is painted
Gay Jared C: Yep.
Chef Mike: red
Gay Jared C: Okay.
Gay Jared C: Yes.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Anyway, back on track. We don't do parades. No one was asking for it. So he did it anyway, and it was very, very bad.
Chef Mike: my My thought about it is he wanted he wanted a dope parade because ah like two days later is the G7 summit, and he basically wanted to like basically wanted to like show his dick in front of the world leaders and be like, look at America.
Gay Jared C: Okay.
Chef Mike: Look how fucking dope we are. Look at our military.
Gay Jared C: Yeah.
Chef Mike: And then it flopped.
Gay Jared C: Okay.
Chef Mike: I think they had expected a quarter of a million people to show up and like less than a hundred thousand showed up.
Chef Mike: And it was just like dudes in uniforms walking down the street. You watch these like North Korean parades and they are fucking lockstep like two to like the millimeter.
Chef Mike: They are like in uniform.
Gay Jared C: Yes.
Chef Mike: They are in formation and we just have like dudes trotting down the street.
Gay Jared C: No tanks, nothing, nothing crazy.
Chef Mike: Tanks. Yes, but like old ass tanks. Like we don't have tanks at the ready to be, ah put on the street and our streets aren't made like North Korea.
Chef Mike: They pave a specific road for military parades. Uh, fucking random street in Washington, DC cannot have a tank on it because the tanks are too heavy and they fuck up the road.
Gay Jared C: Correct.
Chef Mike: So they had to use light tanks, like old tanks that we don't actually use in war anymore.
Gay Jared C: Correct.
Chef Mike: Uh, and then put, and then put rubber treads on their, uh, whatever you call them, like big rubber pads on their treads so that they were gentler on the road. Uh, and it just, and then it looks lame.
Gay Jared C: correct
Chef Mike: Then it looks like you're like, uh, if you've ever played like, like civilization where you like, don't get a, where you like, you know, you're, you like fuck up on the technology tree and you don't get an advancement.
Chef Mike: You're supposed to like looked like world war two technology where you're like, this doesn't look cool at all.
Chef Mike: Uh, yeah. Takeaway.
Gay Jared C: 5,000 people.
Chef Mike: Yeah, like 5,000 people. Really shitty. No one was there. America looked ass. Our whole military looked ass. ah Uh... Don't do parades anymore.
Chef Mike: That's the last parade. The furries?
Gay Jared C: Furry people that are in like the Navy and stuff.
Chef Mike: Oh, yeah. that Honestly, that would have been way scarier. If you're trying to intimidate people, you're like... Yeah, we have guns and we have these fucking crazy people.
Gay Jared C: Exactly. We got these fucking lunatics. These shooters are on our side this time. They're on our side. They're keeping them away from school. They drive all the fucking drones around and bomb people, though.
Chef Mike: You want us to start?
Gay Jared C: It's just bunch of furry
Chef Mike: You want us to start exporting this?
Gay Jared C: just yeah
Chef Mike: Keep talking. Keep talking.
Gay Jared C: Russia and North Korea have that like spray on kill gas. We have this. This so just will just be right in your face and it'll slowly take over your country. You
Chef Mike: Oh my God, that would work so good.
Gay Jared C: can't do anything about it. Your country just slowly gets gayer and gayer and softer and softer and then boom.
Chef Mike: Boom.
Gay Jared C: They're taking over Marriott's. Next thing you know Marriott's and Hilton's blocking floors off, blocking ballrooms off. just fucking everywhere can't do anything about it
Chef Mike: Nope.
Gay Jared C: oh so i got like 26 minutes left of the ocean gate documentary on netflix really good huge so i'm gonna
Chef Mike: All right, so what's what's going on with that?
Gay Jared C: Is that the part right now of like the live videos of them taking the Titan down and going like 3000 meters? And it's just like, sounds like someone's hitting it with a baseball bat outside.
whitekanyewest: Like, nah, that's good.
Gay Jared C: ah Yeah, basically you see the guy stocked in Russian side. He's like Oh shit. Oh shit. Then he gets up up because he it's like in his test dives where it's just him.
Gay Jared C: But then he gets up. There's like a whole crew obviously on the,
Chef Mike: ah Hold on. I think Shane wants to say something.
Gay Jared C: Oh, Shane?
Chef Mike: No, never mind.
Gay Jared C: Shane Gill's Tire Season 2? he's on the phone, actually, right now. But he is on the podcast, guys. We can't put that in and the episode title. It's going in.
Chef Mike: yeah Yeah, we did the tires plug. Do you want to? No, Ari's still on the phone. All right. Keep going. Sorry.
Gay Jared C: yeah yeah tires too uh it's on netflix and you go check it out um but yeah uh the stockton rush then he comes up and uh he's such an arrogant narcissist that uh he acts like nothing happened when he gets up to everybody they're like clapping like yeah he's like how about that that was awesome and uh it's not like he can just hear because they have like
Chef Mike: Sorry. Sorry.
whitekanyewest: have a good time. We have good. have my big old sweet over here.
Gay Jared C: sonic microphones throughout to hear any cracking and like get patterns of it.
Chef Mike: yep
Gay Jared C: Then it shows it and it's just like, one it's that it's at like 300 meters and it's popping like crazy already. Then gets down to like 3,000 and they're just going through the fucking roof.
Gay Jared C: That's where I'm at right now. about to Everybody's he's fired a bunch of people so far.
Chef Mike: ye
Gay Jared C: that I'm getting to the juicy side of things. I'll finish it tomorrow night, but very good.
Chef Mike: I mean, that is crazy how much like a confident rich person could just make you could just make you override your like.
Gay Jared C: Oh, yeah.
Chef Mike: ah That's clearly a bad sound.
Gay Jared C: thats That doesn't sound too good. Shit.
Chef Mike: Nope, that's that's just the that's just a fiberglass settling.
Gay Jared C: That's what he said. It was seasoning. He said the carbon fiber seasoning.
Chef Mike: Seasoning.
Gay Jared C: No, brother. So what'd you think of the ah Osama ah bin Laden documentary though?
Chef Mike: I thought it was great. um Not how I remembered it, but...
Gay Jared C: That dude that killed him was super into telling the story.
Chef Mike: Oh, dude, that dude... ah Probably the ginger.
whitekanyewest: the Is it the guy that came to the Fenway and talked to me?
Gay Jared C: Probably. Probably.
whitekanyewest: Yeah. I fucking shot him with the head.
Chef Mike: Yeah, that dude could not have been more psyched about that.
Gay Jared C: I mean, hell yeah.
Chef Mike: I forgot that we...
Gay Jared C: I'd be psyched.
Chef Mike: but Yeah, yeah. yeah
whitekanyewest: i think he's a liar, dude.
Chef Mike: a
Gay Jared C: I don't think so.
Chef Mike: I do.
Gay Jared C: I've listened to a story on Mad. It's the same exact story, word for word.
Chef Mike: yeah he definitely. I mean, I'm sure he remember if they were like, here's your fake story. You practiced it like a million times. um I thought it was cool that they like built a bunch of like fake houses that they had to raid.
Gay Jared C: Yeah.
Chef Mike: They did drills like 100 drills. That's pretty crazy. ah thought it was. I mean, I'm not. I'm not judging because, yeah, you got to do what you got to do. ah do think it was fucking crazy that he was like, yeah, first thing we we busted through the door, his 14-year-old son was there, shot him in the face up the stairs.
Gay Jared C: Boom. Yes.
Chef Mike: was like, holy shit.
Gay Jared C: I love that.
Chef Mike: like i was like, I get that you couldn't. I get that, one, a 14-year-old kid could definitely fight back.
Gay Jared C: Oh, yeah.
Chef Mike: And also, if he alerted the family that you were there, you were fucked.
whitekanyewest: going to sit down here.
Chef Mike: So, like, yes, you had to do it.
Gay Jared C: Boom.
Chef Mike: I get that.
Gay Jared C: Boom.
Chef Mike: Uh, you don't have to celebrate You don't have be psyched about it. Cause that kid did not choose that. But anyway, yeah, he couldn't have been more happy about the opportunity to shoot a 14 year old kid in the face.
Chef Mike: Uh, gets Osama, which is great. I had, had completely forgot that we just tossed his body over the side of a boat.
Gay Jared C: Yeah, what was the stipulation of that?
Chef Mike: Um, um,
Gay Jared C: It was just like going to be rotten by the time or something.
Chef Mike: uh think they didn't want it to be
Gay Jared C: Oh, yeah, they didn't want people to go to it.
Chef Mike: like if yeah if there was like a place then people would go there or even just like that his body was in america people would try to it's like yeah i don't really fucking i honestly don't actually get that but whatever uh yeah sick oh yeah terabytes of
Gay Jared C: He put a fake door in and stuff he had on his compound.
Chef Mike: or um a bunch of VHS porn and then like a bunch. Yeah, that's. That's a.
Gay Jared C: They did give him the benefit the doubt, though. They were like, you know, these computers are recycled, so it doesn't have to. It couldn't it could have been somebody else's that had it before him. They gave him a good out.
Chef Mike: Yeah, you can be respectful. You don't want to disrespect the guy, the guy who did 9-11.
Gay Jared C: yeah
whitekanyewest: Mm-hmm.
Gay Jared C: They were still giving him respect.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Gay Jared C: Yeah, respect, respect.
Chef Mike: Like, uh, of the porn that we were able to see, none of it was apparently gay. We didn't watch all of it, but it appeared that he was mostly or entirely into straight porn.
Gay Jared C: All super straightforward.
Chef Mike: Uh, most, mostly Latina butts.
Gay Jared C: Tons of basketball. Tons of NFL content. Yeah.
Chef Mike: Often some, some white milfs, I would say 80 to 90% of it was white milfs and Latina butts.
Gay Jared C: All valid. All really valid. Good stuff. a Yeah, a ton of straight stuff on here.
Chef Mike: Mostly gonzo style, so you didn't see any of the man in it.
Chef Mike: Some people think that's okay, but isn't it kind of gay when you're watching a dude fuck a woman?............
Gay Jared C: Guy loved the Colorado Rockies, big into baseball, very straight guy, just letting you guys know that. Very, very talented at what he did besides of the whole Al-Qaeda stuff.
Gay Jared C: Very talented artist.
Gay Jared C: I love that they like were like, yeah, here's our interview from 1996 with him.
Chef Mike: ah
Gay Jared C: he's just like, yeah what the fuck?
Chef Mike: yeah oh
Gay Jared C: Just in a cave and he has like AK-47. What the fuck are you doing?
Chef Mike: Actually, yeah, so more is coming back to me because I did watch it a while ago. We didn't talk about it last week. But the fucking... The craziest part of that that I don't think I knew was that there was like they, you know, they're like interviewing the people at the CIA.
Chef Mike: And and then she's like, so, yeah, when I was 20, the FBI, the CIA came to my school and they said, oh, you were the president of a sorority.
Chef Mike: And I was like, yes.
Gay Jared C: Oh, yeah.
Chef Mike: they're like, you want to be in charge of the CIA terrorism task force? And she was like, oh, And so like me and my five girlies, we were investigating Osama bin Laden.
whitekanyewest: Thank you.
Chef Mike: i was like, damn, I didn't know this. And like, you know what?
Gay Jared C: oh yeah
Chef Mike: I guess they caught him. So good on them. But, uh, but they definitely made a point in that documentary to be like, yeah, uh, we've known about Osama bin Laden since like, since like the early nineties.
Chef Mike: But, uh, it was like five ex sorority girls who were in charge of keeping track of him. And I guess we just kind of dropped the ball somewhere.
Gay Jared C: Yeah, we didn't really, you know, didn't really have too much info besides that. So they they kept all the info for themselves.
Chef Mike: They were girl bossing. no one thought it would come to this.
Gay Jared C: I love how he was just in the middle of like a Pakistan, like right next to the, uh, the West point of Pakistan and back.
Chef Mike: Yes.
Gay Jared C: It's like, we had no idea. He's just, said to me he takes up like half of the town. Like,
Chef Mike: Oh, yeah. And then the the how they found him was like somebody being like, yeah, I was i was in Abbottabad, and yeah there's just like a really conspicuous house there with 20-foot-high concrete walls and false doors that like no one ever sees the people come in and out of. So we're pretty sure that like probably Osama bin Laden's there, and they were like, oh, shit.
Chef Mike: And then like pulled up Google Earth and looked at the compound and they were like, oh yeah, that does seem a really, like a really weird house for this neighborhood.
Gay Jared C: yeah this is giant bra giant cement fucking walls around it huh we never really looked we never really thought too much about it
Chef Mike: Damn, you you you live here your whole life and you just never notice the 20 foot high razor wire ah compound that no one comes in or out of except for one bike messenger.
Gay Jared C: yeah I just wish that everybody could have witnessed the moment where the everybody in the house was like, they're like, what the fuck? Because it shows people tweeting.
Gay Jared C: i like People in that little Pakistan town, they were like, what the fuck's up with the helicopters? And then them probably in the house being like, oh, the Pakistani military is flying the helicopters. And then they hear like a commotion with one crash into their yard.
Gay Jared C: And then they hear the gate open and they're like, oh shit, it's American people. They're like, oh fuck.
Chef Mike: Oh, fuck.
Gay Jared C: but
Chef Mike: Fuck.
Gay Jared C: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Gay Jared C: Worst possible scenario right now, guys. We got to get up to the third floor.
Gay Jared C: Oh my God.
Gay Jared C: Holy shit.
Gay Jared C: It says that the older son was like, oh the Americans are coming, and he ran upstairs.
Chef Mike: Yep.
Gay Jared C: He's like, oh, brother, it's too late. How about how about that, my dude?
Chef Mike: yeah Yeah, you ain't.
Gay Jared C: They're coming in with fucking night vision and red dots and shit on their fucking guns.
Chef Mike: Yep.
Gay Jared C: No match, dude. Just got smacked.
Chef Mike: Oh, man, if they lost him there, imagine that.
Gay Jared C: Woo.
whitekanyewest: Probably did. He's probably down with Hitler and Argentina.
Chef Mike: Could be.
Chef Mike: Every now and then a conspiracy theory pops up where they're like, is this a a shit is this a shaved Osama bin Laden in in Houston, Texas right now?
whitekanyewest: Is this Osama bin Laden or is this just a Pakistani person?
Chef Mike: I mean, how would you know?
whitekanyewest: this Osama bin Laden or is this just a sheik?
Gay Jared C: Then they hear, fuck yeah, just a blast shake the front door. They're like, oh, fuck. It is really the Americans.
whitekanyewest: Oh, you know what? You know how we were talking about how Zins aren't addicting? still stand by that, by the way.
Chef Mike: However, what's your follow up?
whitekanyewest: However, the other day ah work, I was throwing one in and I got validation from like a 21-year-old bro who was playing.
whitekanyewest: Came up to me. He's like, bro, what are you ripping right now? I told him I was Cinnamon Zins and I asked him if he wanted one and he told me no, but he said it was a great call.
Gay Jared C: Okay.
whitekanyewest: So Zin's cool. Very cool. Not addicting. Just very cool.
Gay Jared C: Just extremely cool.
Chef Mike: I believe so sick.
whitekanyewest: Think everybody should buy them. Get Jerry's stock up so he can continue to not have a job.
Gay Jared C: You can get addicted to the ends of Jerry.
whitekanyewest: Very cool.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Chef Mike: What?
Gay Jared C: You could get addicted to Zins while you're unemployed.
Chef Mike: I guess like, I mean, I did spend 20 years trying to quit cigarettes.
whitekanyewest: Yeah, you should try them.
Chef Mike: So that sounds like a dope idea.
whitekanyewest: Just try them, dude. They're not addicting.
Chef Mike: them
whitekanyewest: i'm telling I'm telling you right now, you could try like 10 of them. You could do an entire can and then not buy them again. I guarantee it.
Chef Mike: I believe you, but why would I do that? Other than that they're delicious and everyone should buy them.
Gay Jared C: Thank you.
whitekanyewest: Just for the sweet nicotine rush, dude.
whitekanyewest: know what it's like after a hard day of work, throw in a nice nicotine rush and just melt?
Chef Mike: haven't worked hard. haven't worked hard since like 2011. thousand eleven
whitekanyewest: Ah, you're standing out of the Karen Reed trial. That was hard work.
Chef Mike: It was hot. I definitely got fucking hella sunburn on my neck that day.
Gay Jared C: Well, that's it, guys. Have a great um a great Thursday.
Chef Mike: We did it.
Gay Jared C: Enjoy it.
Chef Mike: Yep.
Gay Jared C: Stay classy.
Chef Mike: Goodbye.
