Transcript
Speaker: Happy National Prayer Day. Stay prayed up.
Speaker: you. What's up, motherfuckers? Don't forget to do your fucking push-up to keep the homosexuality awake.
Speaker: Do you shower in your mom's window pot? Okay, first of all, don't like my noodle. I mean, who wouldn't want to be?
Speaker: Black is like the epitome of cool.
Speaker: So guys, I'm kind of scared to walk home right now because this guy came into the store and started trying to steal and whatnot. Smell of corn.
Speaker: So this is so good smelling, one of the best smells I know from food. Chumoi. Chumoi. Chumoi.
Speaker: You a banker? I am a banker. am not a banker. Am I a banker? Am I not a banker? Why am I a banker? Why am I not a banker? Hey, what's up, my niggas? ahead and knock out a few push-ups. Show yourself that you still got it. Hey, everybody.
Speaker: Welcome to Dudes R Us. We can't be stopped and we'll do anything for you. Please subscribe and join the Patreon. Hello.
Speaker: Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello? Yep. We're here.
Speaker: oh my God. Oh, my... Oh, no. Oh, no. We're live from the L.A. riots.
Speaker: We're here. and we're at the L.A. riots with Rodney King.
Speaker: They brought him back. They brought him back for round two.
Speaker: ah Let's see. Oh. Oh.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: What's going down, dude? I have no idea.
Speaker: What a hot start we have here. Yeah, we got jam-packed impact with content and ideas.
Speaker: All right, one second. kind of Okay, right, all right. okay all right all right
Speaker: We're having a great Tuesday evening here. and We're going to give you guys a fantastic episode. Okay.
Speaker: That's right. Yep.
Speaker: So we're going to do something. We're going to do something fun for you. Yep. LA rides. That's good time. Go on. hey They figured it out.
Speaker: They sent the ah National Guard to LA.
Speaker: Thank you for calling Roost Criss Steakhouse Seattle. sorry we missed your call. ah what a piece of fucking shit. There's no way it's closed.
Speaker: Maybe no one goes there. That's possible. Seattle's crazy. Maybe I'll check. What? I got to try to remember the ones I called in Los Angeles. Not that they would remember.
Speaker: There was that one in the like on the second floor of a mall outdoor mall. Yeah. Yeah. There can't be that many of those.
Speaker: What's New Mexico? That's a time zone, right? That's a West Coast time zone, right? Yeah. I mean, it's crazy to imagine that a place would not be open on the West Coast right now. It's, what, 7 o'clock right now for them?
Speaker: yes Perfect. Perfect.
Speaker: Hello, this is Ruth Kristen Albuquerque. My name's Chloe. How can I assist you today? ah Yeah, I was just looking if I could ah make a reservation for Thursday. Yeah, absolutely. Give you just one moment. Let me put you on a brief hold, and I'll go ahead and grab your information, okay? Yeah, take your time. Thank you.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: how Oh, you dumb bitch. we We welcome you to dine with us. No time to hold? Visit us at RuthChris.com to reserve your table. Excellent podcasting here, folks. Stay tuned. Albuquerque's getting it right now. This is what the people want.
Speaker: Place your takeout order at order. RuthChris.com or stay on the line and a team member would be glad to assist you.
Speaker: Thank you for calling Ruth Chris. We are open and we welcome you to dine with us. No time to hold? Visit us at RuthChris.com to reserve your table. Did you know... They're busy tonight.
Speaker: Understaffed.
Speaker: hundred staffed Yeah, i mean, this isn't really professional. Alrighty, so sorry about that. Wait, you were wanting to make a reservation for Thursday? Yeah, that would be, ah yeah, no problem. And that be yet Thursday if around like 7.30 to 8 if there's anything.
Speaker: Yeah, I can go ahead and do 7.30 for you for how many? Perfect. Yeah, it would just be three of us.
Speaker: And what's a good phone number for the reservation? Yeah, would be 505-855-955.
Speaker: eight five five 0788. And good first and last name? Yeah, it would be Jonathan. ah Last name's Aubrey.
Speaker: Any special occasions for the visit, Jonathan? No, just no just going out for dinner.
Speaker: Lovely. All right, well, I'll go ahead and put that in right now for three people, 730 Thursday, okay? Wonderful. Have a great night. Thank you. You too. Bye-bye. Oh my god.
Speaker: God, Albuquerque. I'm little fucking idiot. Albuquerque, you just got fucking tricked. yeah You just got fucking crushed. Oh, Albuquerque, you did it to yourself.
Speaker: fuck even try to try to they tried to They knew it was me and put me on a hold for thirty five guys yeah this guy's not goingnna Come back. she She was hoping.
Speaker: Praying. Nope. Guess what? You're fucking done. It's like, I'm putting him on hold. He's going to hang up in two minutes. one wants Ruth's Chris bad enough to wait on hold. He'll ah hill he'll call Flemings.
Speaker: Oh, you dumb fucking bitch. Oh, my God.
Speaker: no No idea what just fucking hit them, taking down the business. God, they're going to be so worried. They're going to call the police probably. You think so? You think they're going to call? 745, they're going to call and be like, missing persons, missing persons, Jonathan Aubrey.
Speaker: Yeah. Jonathan Aubrey's back. He strikes again just when you didn't think so. FBI's got a whole file.
Speaker: Ruth Chris CEO is getting fucking pissed. Monday morning after thirty the end of this week, they're going to be fucking going off.
Speaker: quarter Quarterly call with the investors. Thank you for calling me, Chris Portland. This is Haley. Hey, I was just seeing if I could make a reservation for Thursday.
Speaker: yeah for how many It'll be ah just three of us. Three and what time were you thinking? I'm thinking 730 to 8 if there's anything available.
Speaker: Yeah, we're pretty available during that time. So I could do 730, 745, 8 o'clock. Yeah, 730 would be great. Perfect. And the phone number? Yeah, it'll be 503-855-0788.
Speaker: five zero three eight five five zero seven a this is as close as we can get to the base of the world trade center you can see the firemen assembled here the police officers at the eye agents and you can see the two towers a huge exposure now raining debris on all of us we better get out of who What happened there?
Speaker: Three top. Three top. Bruce, k Chris, you're going down. Thursday, Albuquerque, Portland. Boom. You're done. You're finished. Yeah.
Speaker: You never serve fucking some kind of expensive surf and turf probably. Chop parsley ever again. Shrimp tower. You never serve shrimp towers again.
Speaker: Coming for you. Yeah, so I got my ah two my legs blown off and one out of two of my arms blown off in Kandahar.
Speaker: Wow. Amazing.
Speaker: Yes, ah President, I was serving and we were on a, ah had to take a detour and Got my my my right arm blasted off and half of my head blasted off. and
Speaker: I came home, married my my fat wife. And now lucky to be sitting sitting in the Oval Office across from you at 47. Wow.
Speaker: That's gay. Wow. Wow.
Speaker: My wife's hotter than yours. Wow. Amazing. Can't believe you got blasted. Blasted half. Did you see the clip? ah It was like last week when he was ah when he was talking to the new, whatever they call it, the new president of Germany.
Speaker: And he's like sitting there and he's like, he's like, oh yeah, like D-Day, that must have been like the darkest day in your country's history. my God.
Speaker: So many deaths, so tragic. And the guy's like, wait, what? And it's through a translator. And he's like, he's like, he's like, sir, just to be clear, like, that was the day our country was liberated from, you know, like...
Speaker: That was the beginning of the end of the Nazis who occupied our country for you know for years. like that's That's considered a good thing here in Germany. And he was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Wow, pretty gay. Wow.
Speaker: Not how I would have done it.
Speaker: Not how I would have done it. Hitler they had a weak stock market, actually.
Speaker: Oh my god, that's so awesome. He liked the beans. He didn't like meat. We don't like that.
Speaker: Do you ever want to just, you know, you work at a new place, you just want to steal stuff, you just start plotting on how to steal things? Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Not saying I did, but everybody. and don't have a job where I could, but I was thinking about that today of every job previously i'm like how could i steal some stuff out of here yeah everybody uh listening that does have a normal job to steal some stuff or stop start plotting on how to steal stuff no one's gonna notice anything i like i don't think i ever stole a lot but because like when i worked for urban they obviously knew people wanted to steal of course so you had you would have had to be like
Speaker: I mean, there it was it would have been easy, but I just didn't. But like the stuff that I did blatantly steal would be like shoelaces. like if I was just like, I want new shoelaces. And you just like take them off some shoes or something.
Speaker: yeah Office supplies, obviously. um but yeah, they they like searched you every time you left. So you'd have to do like clever stuff. like ah
Speaker: um search You didn't search each other?
Speaker: Uh, you did search each other, but like when I was like an associate, you'd call, you'd have to call to be like a manager to be searched. So like you'd have to know you were getting, like if you were gonna, you'd have to know you were getting like a chill, the chill manager who like would be like, nope, nothing in there.
Speaker: Um, the way I would have done it if I had done it is, we had to obviously you take trash and cardboard out every day and that goes out the back door and that doesn't get searched. You, you usually a manager would just be like, all right, like you, you're on like trash duty today. You have to go take the trash out and you'd get like 15 or 20 minutes to go do all that.
Speaker: Like pull all the trash from all the trash barrels and then take it out the back. Fucking bag up a bunch of clothes in a trash bag, take it out to the dumpster, quote unquote.
Speaker: And you could probably just leave it somewhere and then come back for it after your shift.
Speaker: But I worked for Marriott. I would steal stuff doing that exact way. Just put it in the big recycles and just take it out and just throw it in the recycles dumpster and just go in and grab it after on my break.
Speaker: Yep. Simple. Recycles is clean. There's just boxes in there. You're good to go. Yeah. Throw a bunch of liquor in there, whatever else. No one's going to looking. No.
Speaker: bunch of trays, a bunch of room service trays. Like, ooh, I could... Hell yeah. A bunch drugs on this tray when I get home. and it be a nice... Nice. Nice tray you can hold.
Speaker: Yes. Yes. Yes. Check. Check. Check. And then the other place we worked...
Speaker: wouldn't say I ever stole anything.
Speaker: but
Speaker: I don't know. You know what I mean. Yeah. You know, get by, figure some stuff out, put some watermelons down the front of your pants.
Speaker: I mean, I had a different kind of job, but I'd be like, so like in R and D and stuff, people would be like, Oh, you need to try this. And be like, This is probably not okay, but um but we I will take this home.
Speaker: Exactly. That's different. That's part of the job. Nitro glove full of stuff handed to You got to take it. What are you going do? Not. Put up your nose.
Speaker: Jared, are you a big fan of LSD? A big fan? um like pro I'm like pro LSD for sure. It's been a while. but ah But I think it's like a good one.
Speaker: so It's up there. It's among the good ones. Hell yeah. Probably my favorite. was thinking of that driving today. was like, just started ranking in my head. and I was like, probably LSD, probably my favorite.
Speaker: But i've never taken I've never taken a small amount of, yeah, of course, clean. I've never taken a small amount of LSD, so. I thought of that today. i was like, maybe I should take a small amount.
Speaker: I didn't know you could take smaller amounts. Yeah, you can just you can do whatever you want. that was It's funny, but that was a revelation to me basically when I moved back from Vegas.
Speaker: And and like for whatever reason during COVID, just there was like infinite shrooms circulating my friend group.
Speaker: And the concept of being like, oh, we're not going to like take four grams of mushrooms and have like a religious experience. We're just going to take like maybe a gram, have fun for a few hours, maybe take some more and like keep a, keep a like low grade, like wiggle, wiggly silliness going, but not, you know, tripping face. That was, that was only something I discovered in like 2020.
Speaker: twenty twenty Okay. ah so So i'm I'm laughing at you, but I also 100% agree that like for most of my life it was like, oh, we're getting specifically hallucinogens. like We're getting 2CB or we're getting shrooms or whatever. The goal there would be to be like, I'm going to be unavailable for like 6 12 hours.
Speaker: yes
Speaker: Patrick C. is laughing at us right now, but hey. Patrick C. thinks we're such pussies. Such fucking fags. yeah Patrick C. definitely steals from work.
Speaker: from the from the special From the knitting factory? Yeah, from the yarn store.
Speaker: Hopping on the bus with two pockets full of yarn on on six hits at 2CB. Amyl nitrate. Yes. All of it. all of it
Speaker: Shout out to our boy Doak1, too. Shout out to anybody you like Doak that just figured out the podcast on Spotify recommended or random other ways of naturally getting into the podcast. That's huge.
Speaker: Yep. Especially because I just get emails randomly from Spotify. It's like, we removed your episode from Spotify. Hell yeah. Fuck you Fuck that shit. Why?
Speaker: Can't do... You can't do Indian black guy voice the whole time for 20 minutes on a podcast? It has to be robots detecting.
Speaker: i think probably 60 plus of our episodes have an entire start to finish Vangaboy song at the end.
Speaker: We don't want to be on Spotify anyways.
Speaker: Copyright what? No one no one cares.
Speaker: Vangaboys aren't asking for that money.
Speaker: Who says I didn't have it already? our You know, what what's the agreement? Who says that they didn't say I could use it?
Speaker: That's true. They don't go on that side of the argument ever.
Speaker: So, yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Speaker: but lot Last weekend we talked about Mr. Nasty. Can't go back into that. That's not too bad. i just counted the ah yeah episodes on Spotify.
Speaker: How many guy removed? I think I count. I mean, so I said, I think last week that it was the 80th episode and I have no idea if that's true. um I thought we did more than that.
Speaker: ah ka I counted. ah So I guess i this means nothing, but I just counted. I think I counted 79, which would mean we've only had one removed.
Speaker: Hold on. We have 80 episodes. Yeah, you're right. Just says it on the bottom of Apple. Apple's so much better.
Speaker: Yeah, so you know, we're basically the new lemon party. Yeah. We're way better than them. Well, yeah. So, and that's fine.
Speaker: We don't come with notes. Call your friends. Topics. Call your family. We just, you know, we're we're just getting quantity out there.
Speaker: We're just putting out there quantity, quantity, quantity.
Speaker: Uh, what the fuck were you sending earlier? oh just people. Oh, yeah. Bro. Just people on Kensington Ave just dead. and you did Just films on Metaglasses walking around Kensington Ave and he's obviously familiar.
Speaker: definitely lives in Philly and, uh,
Speaker: He's just walking up to people. He's like, yo, you got to get off the sidewalk. They find me last week. then is's Then he's like, there's some lady that's just her eyes are rolled in the back of her head laying on the sidewalk.
Speaker: And he's like, she good? And they're like, ah yeah. that He looks over at the camera, obviously, of glasses, so it goes right into her face. And she is totally deceased.
Speaker: ah Oh my God. She's out of her shoes on her back and her eyes are just straight up in the back. Yeah. No pupils whatsoever. No iris, just white eyes.
Speaker: Then he's like, you sure? Is she good? They're like, yeah. Yeah, she's good. He's like, all right. And he just keeps moving. And everybody in the comments are like, yo, she is 100% deceased.
Speaker: And it sounds fucked up laughing at it, but it's like he just does goes on videos the whole time. And there's some of where he clipped together montages of him just...
Speaker: People that look 100% dead, they wake up most of the time. So maybe that's why he did it. But this montage is people laying on the ground in Kensington. There's a guy that's it's just hilarious poses. There's like a guy riding a bike who just paused while riding a bike and just did a like a little fent nap.
Speaker: Everybody, got you got to go see it. I'm not sure you do. You could probably not see it Channel 5 News did a big, big Kessian av stuff a while ago. That was one ah when the crocodile was out there. and people oh my God. you That was fucking awful. wall i I remember that shit.
Speaker: Is that gone now? to Did people stop doing that? He did. He did post a video of some girl's neck. He was like, why are you shooting in your neck? I told you. Stop that shit. And then you see her neck. It's just like falling apart.
Speaker: And there's no way of coming back because they feel like your whole shin is just like peeling like a crocodile. You can't just like... can't just grow skin back quickly. And then their skin falls off or it turns like really black and blue and then it turns like yellow and then it starts like chipping Yeah, basically it's getting gangrene.
Speaker: Fucked up. And then they just shoot more fent into the... The... Fucking wounds. Wounds and neck. Just open fucking...
Speaker: well Jared, hate the game, can't hate the player. i don't hate them. That's not what I said. You said that they should all be exterminated.
Speaker: ah so yeah, it's like guys q guys can't fentanyl up on a bike and just stop. That's pretty skilled. A guy that does that, he has a lighter in his hand he's just cooked, bent over.
Speaker: what he The ones where they're like in ah they're like frozen mannequins. Oh, yeah. Mannequin challenge straight up. Crazy. Anybody ah interested, to go to YouTube. Go to live stream Kensington Ave.
Speaker: Face down, sleeping on a like like laying downward on a staircase. Crazy. Give it two years. All that's going to be like like ah nice apartment apartment buildings, bagel shops, cold brew stores.
Speaker: Where are they going to all They'll just migrate somewhere else, dude. sincea Since like last year even, there's like in those Fed videos, there's not as many as there was last year.
Speaker: I think they're just all going to El Salvador.
Speaker: That's actually... That could be happening. I can see that. Instead of ice, it would be the quickest ice raids if they just went after the people.
Speaker: All right, this tough. The people. I'm not. Are tapping out? No, no, no, no, no. I'm having a thought, and it's not a good one. It's a dark thought. Are you thinking about what I'm thinking about right now? of of the If ice did the jump out boys on the fen people, how quickly it would no one would move?
Speaker: Yeah, it'd be fine. pickching them up in pudding So I guess what I'm saying is if I don't, I don't, I'm not necessarily down with any extra do judicial deportations to Salvadoran torture prisons.
Speaker: Yeah. But if you're going to do it anyway, it seems to me that like, Jose who just wants to build decks outside of home Depot, or he's going to do drywall work for like, you know, pennies on the dollar.
Speaker: Uh, and his only quote unquote crime is that he like overstayed his visa or didn't file paperwork on time. Uh, he should probably be allowed to stay.
Speaker: and maybe the other ones, maybe the other ones go there. then You can just stay. They can detox. Yeah. the Or be cheaper fentanyl.
Speaker: Or... Yeah. Maybe they'll balance their lives out because they won't have to pour so much. Like if they're in Mexico and they don't they it's like half the price, then maybe they could still be addicted to fent maybe work like 20 hours a week. You never know.
Speaker: You never know. And also
Speaker: then like, I can't imagine the occasion I would need to be walking down Kensington and Philly, but there are places like that in Boston.
Speaker: I also don't go there, but I've driven by there. ah then you can, have you know, peacefully walk down a sidewalk and shouldn't that be, isn't that our right?
Speaker: Yes. What happened when you walked down? What happened when you walked down Boston's Kensington? ah didn't do that. Hey, yo, gay Spider-Man, get over here.
Speaker: Toby McGuire, gay ass, get over here.
Speaker: Fucking deport, you fucking ven guys.
Speaker: Go to the city hall meeting. There's a problem. Melania Cass is full of ne'er-do-wells. Sir, Toby McGuire, please sit down.
Speaker: don' freakin jump
Speaker: So they should do ice raids on all the fentanyl guys. Like I said, it would be 48 hours they would have the entire United States deported of fentanyl guys. ah just that's That's slow motion.
Speaker: and then there's And then there's no customers. So then the like the markets all collapse, right? That's true. Look at what I'm thinking of here. It's like when you spray a fly with water, it just slows it down completely. They can't move.
Speaker: They get stuck. Yeah, you just capture all of them. just as is because even the ones that maybe are in like a fen trip they're still going to be slow they're still not at their peak performance no definitely not so they're gonna they're gonna get caught no matter what then they'll be shipped off to el salvador then they'll rebuild then instead of all of All of the Mexicans can stay.
Speaker: And then when the Fed people are... you know They get like a... like a com like an NFL combine test to get back into the United States eventually.
Speaker: And if you pass, you can come here. If not, we're just going to... It's like one in, one out, basically. Then you'll be fine. Yeah.
Speaker: This doesn't seem that horrible. It's pretty fair. Like compared to what's going on now, where I think we like sent a 12 year old.
Speaker: Cause they were like, well, he's a citizen, but his mom isn't. And like, doesn't he want to be with his mom? Uh, this doesn't seem as bad as that.
Speaker: No, this is like, if you want to if you want to keep America elite, then ship out the non-elite and keep the Mexicans that are here because they're automatically elite.
Speaker: They're working hard. They're building houses. Keep those guys here. All the Fent people, you're out. You're going you're going to fucking Sicario land or whatever, wherever part that is.
Speaker: Which they would survive somehow. They'd be fine. They'd be like PubMed or ah whatever that place is. It'd be like a spa camp.
Speaker: And then we would start scaring the cartels and other Mexicans because they're like, holy shit, all they're seeing is the worst of the worst. you know They're not seeing what they think of Americans with the cargo shorts anymore and the business shirts.
Speaker: They're seeing our... are gutter people and they're terrified because they can't stop them. They're going to get what they need no matter what.
Speaker: And then you go to Mexico, guess what? All their stuff's in glass cases, in boxes, on the convenience stores. Take that.
Speaker: Yeah, they turn into Portland, Oregon. Oh my gosh. They wouldn't know what to do You can't. Yeah. Then you... can't both can't buy deodorant at CVS and also without ringing a bell. And also you ring the bell and no one ever comes.
Speaker: Think about that. Mexico huge. This isn't wrong to say it's a fact. huge uh watch what watch it watch yourself huge tortilla consumers right okay yeah yeah that's fair okay how many boxes do you you know glass cases one port one one glass case per tortilla that's at least like 600 glass cases you have to have at a restaurant In the back.
Speaker: Yeah, that's true. Just stacks and stacks. One tortilla per glass case. That's the rule. you can't You can't keep up with that. So figure it out. Send them back when they're right.
Speaker: yeah prices Prices go way up. You have to do that. Then we'll have the NFL combine for the fentanyl people. And if they could, you know, you come in, you run a 4.3740, you're in. You're back in.
Speaker: You're cleaned up. Your ex cleaned up. And guess what? You're scared. and so You're scared straight. You want to go back there? Some of them probably just stay there. That's fine.
Speaker: Think about that. They're like, holy shit. Fentanyl. I don't need fentanyl. I could just walk into the pharmacy and buy Oxycontin.
Speaker: Think about that. And it's not expensive. tank we're At the same time, like you said, we're tanking the cartel business down. Yeah. yeah And then, yeah. Then there's no one buying it here.
Speaker: Yep. So China stops sending it over. That's true. Cartels go down. China goes down. Everybody loses.
Speaker: Jails get cleaned up.
Speaker: Kensington Ave is now apartment buildings, bagel shops, cold brew shops. It can stay gross. It can stay otherwise gross. Like, I think there still needs to be parts of cities that are like, like there's some trash around and it's like, you know, like a massage place and a bodega and like,
Speaker: ah Places with signs in a language you can't read. I'm fine with that. It's just that like. I'm just people all over the sidewalk.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, crazy. They own that sidewalk. What are you supposed to do? You got to see what the Google Maps of Kensington Ave shots are like.
Speaker: Just probably great. It's crazy that there's like businesses there that just aren't ever open. like i How could I be open? There's eight people sleeping in my doorway.
Speaker: Yeah, and then I imagine it's like some of those neighborhoods here where like if they were even to call the police... they they'd be like they just don't come anymore no exactly you want me to like shoo the same people that were there yesterday again today like bro they're gonna come back they live there this is their thing but you put them in El Salvador they ain't coming back put them in El Salvador everybody give 50 bucks you're out come back come back when you're in good shape
Speaker: I don't care. No constitution. that's That's where we waive it at that point.
Speaker: Or you could, do I mean, you could even do, you could probably figure it out with the guy who owns El Salvador or the president of El Salvador, like they do with Guantanamo and be like, it's part of America.
Speaker: So the reason they had to send all them to el Salvador not Guantanamo is because Guantanamo is like, considered american soil so the constitution applies there technically well we just tell them we tell them this you say we're we'll fucking take take bitcoin down if you want el salvador and then you're fucking out of money
Speaker: so you take them or not um ah I think they'd be fine with anything. No offense to El Salvador, but like, what is, what are the, what have they been up to? Like, when is El Salvador run in the news until they decided to take our allegedly illegal immigrants?
Speaker: Yes. Well, they probably, they probably have a soccer team. That's probably a big deal for them. Cool. Great. Have fun with that.
Speaker: Good morning. i I need a moment to pull over. Just give me a second.
Speaker: Are you sure that's what they said? They're from the city. What needs to be done? What kind of construction? Basically, they said it's excavation.
Speaker: You're pulling stuff out in the basement. Yeah, a little bit. Can we down and take a look? Sure. Okay. So they did give me a stop work order and are requiring an immediate evaluation by a professional engineer.
Speaker: Fortunately, contrary to few rumors here, it is constructed entirely below the slab of my house and it shouldn't be too hard to get the permits and approval. So we'll be working on that.
Speaker: ah But this is news? This is like... I think this a reenactment of what happened last time, maybe. Oh, okay.
Speaker: Good morning. How you doing? morning. I don't know if you me. I'm Jack Smith. Yes. Jack Smith. Jimmy Jones with the zoning department. Jimmy Jones. What can I do for you? We have some complaints. Basically, it's...
Speaker: we were just here basic be done
Speaker: That dumb bitch. Yeah, everybody complaining about you.
Speaker: Jesus. I'm sorry to the comments here.
Speaker: It's all built beneath the slab of my house. That's terrifying.
Speaker: It's all built but underneath what holds my house up.
Speaker: What is wrong with that? That's even crazier because like that's not a very big footprint.
Speaker: Goddamn, dude.
Speaker: That is so fucking awesome. Yeah, what the hell is going on here, you dumb bitch? Oh, God. Jesus, Brian, come take a look at this.
Speaker: They probably think they're just going to get killed down there. I mean, would actually be perfect if she were like a serial killer of some kind.
Speaker: Perfect way to track serial killer that exclusively preys on city inspectors. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I love that she's like, ah what is it?
Speaker: I don't want to come off rude or whatever, but she's... We just talked about deporting fentanyl addicts to El Salvador. We're probably past. She's, ah what is she, like does all that. She dresses like an Indian woman.
Speaker: What's that she's into? She's like, I really like the Indian whatever. and She puts on all the weird dresses and the bedazzles. Yeah. yeah It's like, bitch, they spit on people, on women. She does that? he She dresses like that, yes.
Speaker: That's crazy. She quote code switches into like a 50-year-old fucking woman. I mean, Indian woman. Indian auntie? It's like, bitch, they s spit and like kick women
Speaker: there. Stop code switching. You think she identifies with them because she's dirty all the time? wow. Okay.
Speaker: So, that's it. Salvador, I think that's not a crazy idea. People hop onto the Reddit and tell me how much you agree with me on that. mean, listen. Because it's good points. Nobody who listens to us, but but theoretical people would listen to this and be like, wow, that's really insensitive and like fucked up. And like...
Speaker: How could you even think that? But those are the same people who just are like, yeah, they are just there on the street. And that's not my problem. Like, i don't want to deal with that. They are just there. So that's fine. as long as As long as I don't really have to see it.
Speaker: And like, that's pretty messed up too. you So who's who's really the bad person?
Speaker: Oh my gosh. oh my gosh yeah Our waves were going. You just were going to say something and just dropped out. No, you so I was talking and you dropped out.
Speaker: No. Well, three patches going together. This is going to be rough. This isn't going to come out until next week. going to be fun.
Speaker: buts So, let's go. Let's go. We got this. We got finish strong here. Strong finish. So, what were you you were saying but when I cut? What were you going ah but were you talking you were but you talking about? Funding?
Speaker: funding You wanted more funding to ICE? Yeah, yeah, yeah. These guys are over overworked. That's one thing they're not talking about. These guys some liquid IV.
Speaker: I assume they have, like, military-grade... Like, Adderall, basically. Ah, hell yeah. They definitely give them that, right? Think they have access to that? That'd be great.
Speaker: They for sure do.
Speaker: Ice? Military-grade fucking... Addies? Yeah, they just get to... Dude, they get to run around in masks and shit. They definitely... Shysties.
Speaker: Yeah. Like tech tactical shysties. Yes.
Speaker: Plate carriers.
Speaker: They're ready for it. That's what the shysties actually for. They're fucking busting into like quinceañeras and like graduation parties, you know, ready for war
Speaker: You catch any fish lately? No. No fish this week? None this week. No, i've haven't I haven't gone fishing in a minute. um and You got to carry out your duties and start eating some weird shit out in Discord that people are posting.
Speaker: I don't know if there's been really very good suggestions, if I'm being honest, if I'm being um being frank. Okay. Okay.
Speaker: What was one? yeah Pizza Hut from a Target? Yes, the Chicken Alfredo Pizza Hut. Target. I didn't actually believe that those existed. I think I was in Target. ah One of the times I was in Target in the recent past, I was like, oh shit, there's like a tiny Pizza Hut here. I sent you a picture of it. Why the hell does that exist? No, what I believe that like maybe you're like weird...
Speaker: like Connecticut targets have them, but I was like, but my up so upper class target you gay massachusetts one wouldn't have that.
Speaker: And then they was there. Dude. Crazy. So gay.
Speaker: Crazy. And then I don't remember what the other suggestions were, but here's the thing. I spent like $40 on that burrito.
Speaker: What burrito? This was like the first one I ever did. Oh, yeah. Well, you had to do that. You promised. I said I would. So that was fine.
Speaker: But like, i don't want to spend a whole bunch of money on something that's going to suck to eat. That's the whole point of it. Yeah. Maybe like it.
Speaker: I don't know. That's the whole point of it. I don't know. Why don't you eat something weird? you That's the whole point. This is your thing. You eat one shrimp.
Speaker: That's not my thing. This is your thing. I didn't create even create that channel. Yes, you did. I did not.
Speaker: Don't be a fraud. I'm picking Alfredo from the Target. It has to be from the Target. i don't I don't even know why that's that crazy.
Speaker: People eat there all the time. People who eat chicken Alfredo in general is trash. Trash. will yeah It's trash, people, or i if you're black, you get a pass. Because for some reason, every every NFL athlete or whatever, they're like, what's your favorite food? And they're like, chicken Alfredo.
Speaker: That's a pass. Why do you think that is? i have no idea.
Speaker: Why do you think? I don't know. Is that really their favorite food? Yes. 100% true. Okay. Chicken Alfredo. Chicken Alfredo every time. Snaps.
Speaker: That shit. Man. Too much. What was the last time that you had that? Chicken Alfredo? Yeah. I can't.
Speaker: Maybe it was like in a... maybe at like a i don't even want to like, not a buffet, but like
Speaker: when people get like a big fucking tray of catering or something for like a, an event. Yeah. Okay. can't remember. And I can't imagine I ever ordered it like at a restaurant, yeah but I could imagine I like scooped some chicken Alfredo onto a plate at like a wedding, like ah a wedding wedding that, oh that,
Speaker: that had catering or like uh no not or wedding that had a buffet or like uh or like some such thing or like a party what black wedding are you going to see that's i can't even remember the specific one so i my but that's the only occasion i um i can think of where i would have had chicken alfredo recently would be like out of a out of a big old aluminum foil dish.
Speaker: you know At a black person's wedding. That's the only wedding. You're only a allowed there like this like I said earlier. we Black Tobey Maguire here. Tobey Maguire is at the wedding.
Speaker: That's the only reason they would invite you.
Speaker: This is the man right here. help me he caught me two Paul Pierce jerseys at his Urban store and let me go. Now look at him.
Speaker: yeah He caught me stealing two Tabasco Red Hot t-shirts at Urban Outfitters and he let me go. or it was Sriracha. yes sir The Sriracha t-shirt we sold for like five, maybe not even five, maybe like eight years.
Speaker: People love that shirt. What else?
Speaker: Diamond Supply shirts? i don't know that we ever sold Diamond Supply.
Speaker: Did you ever get your search by an African-American manager and you went, isn't this ironic when you're checking? Uh...
Speaker: I don't know that we had those.
Speaker: Off you were saying that like ah that your loss prevention officer was an African-American. It's kind of like one when a guy goes deep undercover in the mafia to get a bust.
Speaker: and no one is a He Italian, which is Yeah. which is a kind of africanamerican yeah that is a That is a type of black, that's for sure. A lot dumber, though, than ah that a regular African-American person.
Speaker: An Italian.
Speaker: ah Fuck. they don't They don't have ah you know... but Normal black people are way better. Italians are below. No one's even disputing that.
Speaker: Below, like, Armenian level.
Speaker: ah yeah I guess Italians are good at sports.
Speaker: Are they? Yeah. oh base ah ah Baseball. Oh, like Italian Americans. Sure. Yeah, like ah Red Sox number one prospect got called up two days ago, Roman and Anthony.
Speaker: Here's a good fact. His dad's name is Anthony Anthony, and his brother's name is Anthony Anthony, and his grandfather's name is Anthony Anthony. How fucking crazy is that?
Speaker: feel like that's... ah That's proven my point right there about the what I was just saying about Italians.
Speaker: Your name is Anthony Anthony. Your name's Tony Tony. Yeah, that's a problem. lazy People definitely are going to think one, like jar Jared, Jared. But then also there's a crazy looking guy on LinkedIn named Anthony Anthony.
Speaker: No way. Did you just look him up on LinkedIn? I Googled the name and it's the first person that comes up. It's not. Well, could be, I guess.
Speaker: Could be a relative. Anyway, ah you definitely spend your life having people think that there was an error in your form. Whenever you have to submit a form, to like they're like, oh, you wrote your name twice.
Speaker: You're supposed to put your last name and you had to be like, no, my last name is Anthony. but And they're like, well, what's your first name? And you're like, Anthony. And then they're like, wait, you're Anthony Anthony. And you're like, yeah, I know. It's like a family name. I'm actually Anthony Anthony the fifth.
Speaker: Well, which one is the family name? Yeah, that's true. Well, like Italians, we don't do like the fourth, the fifth. We just do. we just We just keep going.
Speaker: Anthony Anthony.
Speaker: Anthony Anthony. It's like ah Anthony and then the what is it the quotation marks where you say like where you note like duplicate. Anthony quotation marks instead of Anthony Anthony.
Speaker: Like the quotation, whatever. It just means like repeat or whatever.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ditto. I don't know what that's called either. Yeah, I don't know either. Is what I always called it in my head. Looks cool. Looks cool when someone drops that down.
Speaker: Yeah, double apostrophes. Beautiful. Yeah, yeah. I agree with that.
Speaker: So, yeah, pretty much.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: Pretty much, that's it, yeah. Yeah, okay. well
Speaker: I think this is it. I think this is the worst episode ever. This is not, this one wasn't good. We're definitely at an hour when I stitched together these three clips. Yes. But when I take out the probably 12 minutes of silence.
Speaker: Yes. So that's fine. It'll be both the worst episode and the shortest episode.
