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2 Gay 2 See

Dudes "R" Us
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59 Plays17 days ago

I am blind from being gay

JOIN THE DISCORD & Reddit  https://discord.gg/QjhB7M46jx  https://www.reddit.com/r/dudesrus/

Transcript

Media Criticism and Odd Fantasies

00:00:16
Speaker
No, not you. Not you. Your organization's terrible. Your organization's terrible. Let's go. Go ahead. Quiet. Quiet. Go ahead. She's she's asking a question. Don't be rude. Don't be rude. Don't be rude. No, I'm not going to give you a question. I'm not going to give you a question. You are fake news.
00:00:45
Speaker
and I'm starting to think about having to eat my neighbors. You think I like sizing up my neighbor, how I'm gonna haul him up by a chain and chop his ass up? I'll do it." It's dudes or us nigga. It's cold out in the D-Big blood. Shout out Hank Chill, shout out Patrick C., shout out Fanny Dantong. Let's fucking get it blood.
00:01:12
Speaker
Just out of curiosity, has anybody done their job yet? And went to 768 6th day highway 96 in Carthage, Missouri and looked at that field jet. See if I'm full of shit. Shrimps and edibles. Your man's shrimping balls. My mouth is so dry. I said what what in the butt. I said what what in the butt. I said what what in the butt. I said what what in the butt.

Storms, Humor, and Community Check-ins

00:01:45
Speaker
Go nigga, stay getting cake. My wife's birthday, you know? Happy birthday, Thanksgiving. Yeah, yeah, you know how it goes, guys. I got three birthdays in November, OMG. I'm out here chilling. You know what I'm saying?
00:02:04
Speaker
Yeah, I was at Club Aqua. Club Aqua? You get in there? Oh, yeah. What the fuck are you getting at, Aqua? I built the back deck at Club Aqua.
00:02:16
Speaker
frankie mcon my own team stay alive continue nova scotia massive stormade towards twenty fake man on tuesday november nineteen two thousand twenty four so the way I don't like racism, I myself am Polish and I was with black girls, with if what you know with Asian girls. I always wanted to be as cool as Peter.
00:02:42
Speaker
This is Frankie McDonald, my old TV station live in Sydney, Nova Scotia. Major school service head towards Saskatoon, Saskatchewan on Saturday, November 23rd, 2024. It's gonna bring a lot of stoners.
00:02:54
Speaker
could see i could see Hey, what's up everybody? I'm chilling, relaxing eating dinner and watching wrestling.
00:03:08
Speaker
Hey everybody, it's Mike Bell. Things are great so far. I'm down on Townsend Street and Sydney Nova Scotia right now. Things are going to really break off. rather Things are going to really break off and far here. I'm down on Townsend Street and Sydney is pretty cool out where I'm at right now. I'm down on Townsend Street and Sydney right now. That's Steve. How are you doing? I'm doing great so far these days.
00:03:31
Speaker
Works. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, oh,

Discord, Music Legends, and Family Claims

00:03:38
Speaker
we're here. Whoa. Whoa. Microphone in front of us and we're recording. Oh, my God. What? the Oh, I don't know how this happened. If you're listening to this, you're gay as hell. That's right. You're a faggot. Hang it up. Hang yourself in the work bathroom.
00:04:02
Speaker
Hanging yourself in the handicap stall and in at your workplace. Just do it anyway. Yeah, either way. Yeah, whatever you are, do it. Hanging yourself at the arts and crafts supply store. Now.
00:04:20
Speaker
Yes, sir. Shout out Patrick C, arts and crafts package ship. Don't hang yourself. none of the None of the holy grail guys hanging yourselves. Everybody else, go fucking.
00:04:33
Speaker
shoestring themselves off of a hotel doorknob. Ooh. If you haven't joined a Discord, you can you can ah you can kill yourself. Yeah, literally. If you're listening and you haven't joined a Discord, what is... Yeah, that's what I'm saying. What is your excuse at this point? Hundreds of downloads every fucking episode and there's goddamn two of us in the Discord every day. We know like 30 of them are bots.
00:04:58
Speaker
Yeah, right. there's There's still more. There's so many more than that now. So get it get on the Discord. I know 98 of them are Ben Avery on different devices throughout his house.
00:05:13
Speaker
Just telling Alexa to play Dudes RS. Alexa, download Dudes RS.
00:05:27
Speaker
Downloading dudes are us.
00:05:32
Speaker
Yeah. are Catching up on some of the, catching up on some of the news here. Oh my God. Oh, and John says he's lost his eyesight. I mean, oh that's fine. I think that makes you a better musician. That's God coming down on him. I mean, like, yeah, right. You ain't getting away with being gay for nothing, dude.
00:05:56
Speaker
I mean, he got away with it for a long time. Now he lost his eyesight. He's just using just feel. I think it's punishment for the, you know, for hanging out with Jeffy Epps. Yeah. Damn dog. That's crazy. Oh, and John playing the keyboard. Just all feel now. Yeah. That's what I mean. Does he still go out there in Vegas? Like ah how they have Frankie Valley fucking doing dirty.
00:06:26
Speaker
I don't know. Probably not. He's got to be done doing shows, right? You've seen Frankie Valley out there, right? Just like he literally is asleep on stage and they're making them do fucking shows still. Yeah. Yeah. It's sad. Just mouthing the, not even mouthing the world or it is just, he literally fell asleep on one of the videos. I saw was pretty just fucking play a track play recording and he's just there.
00:06:55
Speaker
not Oh man.
00:07:02
Speaker
Let's see. Oh, another news article. Each shot three killed in Chicago lawn shooting. I wonder who that was. We don't know anyone from Chicago. No, no, no. No one in that vicinity. No one who's, no one who's strapped up in shy rack. Then there's some people claiming DB Cooper was their dad.
00:07:27
Speaker
Okay. Now we're talking. I feel like that's a weird one. That's just inviting. Like if it's true, that's still like unsolved and and it's not like there's like a statue. Well, maybe there is. I don't think there's a statute of limitations on him robbing everyone on a plane and then jumping out of it. So that's kind of just saying like, Hey FBI, investigate our family.

Weight Loss Drugs and Pharma Critique

00:07:56
Speaker
When are we going to start seeing the rebound of all this Ozepic shit? I know there was a, you know, side effects ah initially, but has to. I feel like the time scale for that kind of thing is always like 10 years. Do you think any weight loss drug is safe?
00:08:21
Speaker
I mean, no,
00:08:25
Speaker
they never, I think it's always an issue of whether the side effects are like, if you're okay, if you're cool with the side effects, uh, given, you know, what you get out of it, I guess. What kind of side effects, do what kind of side effects are just not even a zimpic, but just a weight loss, a weight loss drug pill.
00:08:49
Speaker
I mean, I feel like a lot of them used to be just basically meth, different kinds of meth. So obviously meth, great appetite suppressant. But then you end up addicted to meth. Just angry all the time, too. And yeah. And obviously there's all the things that go along with that of being like, yeah, yeah. Being like that super paranoid. I don't know. Like that's like half the plot of, uh,
00:09:19
Speaker
Damn, what is that movie now? Requiem for a Dream. Just bugging out at a Taco Bell? Yeah, and then you end up with two-sided dildo. Well, then you have like a truck full of stolen Tewalt tools too, so and you're skinny as hell. Yeah, yeah.
00:09:40
Speaker
And Ozempic, the thing, the immediate thing is like, it's like not, you know, like exercising and dieting. Your body loses weight in like a logical way. Ozempic doesn't have, it's not like selective. So it's like, you're supposed to have some like fat in your face that makes your face look like a face instead of skin stretched over a skull.
00:10:10
Speaker
And these people who are these like celebrities who are taking Ozempic, it like gets rid of the fat behind your like cheeks and stuff. And they all look like, they all look like fucking liches.
00:10:23
Speaker
But does ah is just an appetite suppressant or does it shred fat off you somehow? I think it does both. o I think it makes you not hungry and it also like stimulates your body too.
00:10:41
Speaker
You just heart rate or like it doesn't, your body doesn't store fat or it metabolizes stored fat or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. There's people out there that just all knows Epic just to keep eating to fucking 12 pieces from Wingstop every day. Yes. 100%. And it's like a car. It's like expensive. Like, I don't know my, uh,
00:11:07
Speaker
Got family members who are like diabetic who are on it because I mean, obviously, like the better thing to do is be like, hey, control your diet. Obviously, a lot of people have trouble doing that to the point where they just end up, you know, dying from that stuff. So it's like, OK, if there's if you, you know, can't do like a low glycemic diet,
00:11:33
Speaker
This is an alternative. So I'm like, okay. Like that's, that's a case where I'm like, this is ah probably a good drug. And even if it has some side effects, they're probably better than dying. Yeah. But there's definitely some, like, definitely just some people who are like, Oh, I don't have to exercise or diet and I'll lose weight. Sign me up. Rock kind of rocks. I kind of love that.
00:11:55
Speaker
Uh, yeah. Yeah. But I'm sure there's, I mean, it's the eternal story of, of the pharmaceutical industry is like bad side effects. And then, yeah. And they don't, you know, and there might even be stuff you don't know yet. Right. Like people always want to be like, there's some like malice behind it. And there definitely is sometimes where it's like, they're, you know, like, I think It's like opiates. They knew it was, they knew that they were way more addictive and there was problems there, but it was like making so much money. But I also think there's times where it's like, oh yeah, these like the long-term effects of this, we did a study for, you know, however long you have to do studies a few years or something. And like none of these side effects showed or it was like a small group of people. And now you have like millions of people taking those MBIC or like things like it. So.
00:12:50
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think we know exactly how bad it's going to be.
00:12:57
Speaker
I think is it that and then there's the original side effects that people were saying of that you just gain like everything back once you get off of it. but yeah Any drug where that well, that's because like you didn't develop any discipline. I was like, yeah, if you're eating like 4000 calories a day and it's all fucking Oreos and shit and you're eating a thing that just prevents your body from Metabolizing fat or like storing fat yeah Then you stop taking it and you haven't developed any Habits like you haven't you're not like a self-control. So it's like yeah, of course you're gonna gain it right back.

Unusual Lawsuits and Infowars Drama

00:13:45
Speaker
You gotta develop good fucking habits. That's the name of the game. God, I was a in a hole of Reddit, Jersey Mike's two nights ago. I got off Xbox with you and I just was laying a bit, just scrolling through Jersey Mike's Reddit. It's complicated. It's just managers just, you know, open closing, what what with their favorite sandwich is. I'm like, damn, I wish I wish i could,
00:14:20
Speaker
destroy a Jersey Mike sub. But I'm not on Ozempic, so that's the problem. But they do. I'm like, okay, they make it they still make a legit sub. And all these guys just worrying about what they're opening, closing shifts and what's real, what's allowed on the grill after hours. like Ooh. You wouldn't really get it. You're not on the r slash Jersey mics. No, I'm not. I am curious. <unk> like Are they allowed to make a sandwich for themselves after clothes oh yeah stealing? Yes, they just it's just certain things can't go on the grill. Because I would like dirty to grill. Yeah, I guess so. Interesting.
00:15:04
Speaker
The New Mexico man awarded $412 million dollars after payout for botched penile injections. That's all going to meth. That's, yeah, that's just the Ozembic of feeling like you have a tiny dick. And then the, physician that did not, had did not have their license revoked after that 400 mil.
00:15:32
Speaker
That rocks. Wait, he injected 400 milliliters of $400 million. dollar alien at so No license revoked on the. That's a crazy number. 412 mil. God damn.
00:15:53
Speaker
I guess you can. I mean, if you got a good lawyer and like the doctor truly did something wrong, but I don't know. The point at which you're like, I just want you to inject my dick full of silicone, presumably. I don't know. ah science Has science gone far enough to do that without botching it? No, it's going to be a botch every single time.
00:16:27
Speaker
you're just going to have a weird chode and I don't think they can make the head bigger. So you just have like a sort of a crazy shaft and then like a weird tiny head. When you do that, I think just speculating. No way info wars is getting sold to the young in that's kind of rocks. Yeah. There's like something ah going on with that. They obviously announced it.
00:16:53
Speaker
uh, like last month when the auction happened and there was like a big announcement and everyone was like psyched about it. Obviously, except I guess Alex Jones, I guess there was, yeah, he was pretty pissed. Um, and it was like for a minute, like for a day, like a done fucking deal because info wars.com shut down and all that shit.
00:17:19
Speaker
And then there was like an injunction. Some judge was like, this auction was sketchy. Um, we need to review this auction and put an injunction on the sale. So Infowars is like back up and Alex Jones is like still recording right now, but hell he yeah presumably they'll sort it all out. Basically what happened is like, there was a, there was two bids, two qualified bids for Alex Jones or for Infowars. And one of them was the onion.
00:17:48
Speaker
And one of them was basically Alex Jones, his friends who are just going to give it back to him. How much is the bid? Uh, I want to say not a lot. I want to say it was like 2 million considering what, considering like what, like you're getting everything, you're getting the website, all like the studio, all the equipment in it, obviously access to all of his customers. Although,
00:18:19
Speaker
What good is that? And all of the like supplement you know inventory and everything. So like the bids were like, were you like, Oh, you're getting all that for a million dollars, um, or $2 million. dollars But what they thought might be sketchy about it is the friends of Alex Jones technically had a higher bid. They had like a million and a half dollar bid and the onion had only bid a million dollars.
00:18:44
Speaker
But then they struck some deal with the plaintiffs of the like the case against Alex Jones. There's like Connecticut plaintiffs and I think Texas plaintiffs. And the Connecticut plaintiffs get 85 percent of these of whatever or like the way that, you know, the thing was written. The Connecticut plaintiffs get 85 percent of whatever info were sold for. And the Texas plaintiffs get the rest 15 percent.
00:19:13
Speaker
And which is kind of bullshit when you, when they're supposed to get like, like their original settlement was for like a billion dollars and they knew they were never going to get a billion. But if it's, ah you know, selling an auction for like a million dollars, they're not even really getting their court costs back at that point. If you're getting 15%, you're like, oh, we're getting $150,000 and we're selling and we're splitting it between, you know,
00:19:41
Speaker
seven of us were, were we got nothing. Uh, so the Connecticut plaintiffs gave, I think an extra like 20 or 30% of their, of their percentage to the Texas plaintiffs, which like made the value of the bid for all, like not, not from a monetary perspective, but the people Eligible to receive money. We're getting more money and so like the person who isn't you know, they're like probe I don't know what they're called the fucking lawyer who's in charge of the auction basically said the onion bid was better even though it was technically for less money and So that's what the judge is like This looks sketchy. We got to figure this out. But I've I don't know who knows I've seen people say that was legit and that's like the way the you know, whatever
00:20:33
Speaker
Bylaws were written for how the auction could be organized was basically like yeah, this guy gets to the side He has like unilateral authority to do whatever the fuck he wants But uh, yeah, that's where we're at It'll be fucking funny as hell if that happens and i'd be just like morbidly curious to see what the onion does with info wars because like Just gives it back to him. I mean that would be That would be its own kind of funny. They like hire alex jones and just do like What does the onion even do besides is they still just do those zippity fake articles, those like April Fool's articles every time? ah Pretty much. Well, so they I'm not going to get this right, but they were obviously like a newspaper and then they did some web stuff and they got bought like three times by different like venture capital, basically like they were part of ah I don't even fucking know, like. Like. Not click hole, but like that kind of like Internet.
00:21:33
Speaker
media company kind of thing. They were like bought by like somebody who just owned a whole bunch of ah internet website stuff. And then they sold them to somebody else and then somebody else and then some like random dude, not random, he probably is like some millionaire, bought them like literally in this year, like I think in April.
00:21:56
Speaker
And was like, just cause he liked the onion and like, liked the onion that was like the onion 10, 10 years ago. And was like, I'm going to bring it back. I want it to be like a print publication again. I wanted to do video content again. Like I just wanted to like during back the onion. And so that happened in April and this guy's been running it since then. And they've been doing more like traditional stuff. So, but yeah, they do, they still do a print newspaper.
00:22:24
Speaker
They do and then they do like funny articles and funny videos and stuff. So they I think they plan on just buying it because it's funny and then doing a parody of Info Wars. Basically, probably just like keeping it going, but as a parody, hire somebody who's, you know, like Alex Jones energy to just like basically like a Colbert. When Colbert had that show on Comedy Central, like that type of thing, but like Alex Jones energy.
00:22:54
Speaker
Do you get the young interrupt at your, uh, outside your apartment every day? No, I thought about it. Uh, when they redid it, cause it'd be kind of funny, but I don't read. So it'd just be symbolic. Like I'd pick it up and be like, Oh, and then I wouldn't have the fucking like interest in actually reading an article. You know, who doesn't read Elton John?
00:23:20
Speaker
Not anymore. ah I'm fucking back. I'm here. That's the kind that we're not, you know, not a comedy podcast, but those are those comedy moments that keep the listeners coming back. That's what they keep doing, dude. They, they endure me explaining something for sometimes seven minutes and being like, where the fuck is he going? Just for those moments of comedy.
00:23:49
Speaker
i'm basically I'm basically a doorman at the Comedy Store. Yeah, black. Black, white, trans, you know me. ah Yeah, okay. I was gonna say, and and it's probably something, maybe it's because it's a media, but its i don't I don't get how you get sued
00:24:17
Speaker
for so speaking on whatever you want

Free Speech and Legal Consequences

00:24:21
Speaker
to say. how does How does that even happen in the first place with Alex Jones? Guy should be able to say whatever he fucking wants to, everybody you know what I mean? They just went around the yeah freedom of whatever you could want to say in this country. yeah I don't, I'm not enough of a person who, I'm not, I'm obviously not a lawyer. I'm not enough of a person who like knows the law.
00:24:44
Speaker
But I think it's like, because he was saying, like, I think you can't lie in a way that like actually harms people. I think that's illegal. Okay. Like if I, where was the harm? Well, he, he was saying that the Sandy Hook shooting was like fake and they were like crisis actors and, uh, I guess so.
00:25:15
Speaker
Okay. And I think people like, you know, I think, I think if he were just saying that, like just saying that he probably would have got away with it if he was just like, Hey, this isn't, this was a false flag. The government sent people in, but it's because he was basically, you know, it's Alex Jones. So he was then saying that they're like demons and the families are in on it. And then like that is like,
00:25:40
Speaker
fan base was like actually like showing up at these people's houses and threatening them and like, oh, I don't know if any of them actually, I don't think any of them ever actually got like harmed physically by those people. But even after that stuff was happening, he continued to like stoke it and actually still does. ah So if you're kind of like. I don't know, you know, you're making shit up, you're just like riling people up and then you see that like They're taking it too seriously. Like, I don't know. I think if he had backed off and been like, hey, guys, like it's not that serious, which obviously he can't because like then he's giving up the game. Yes. But I think that's what he got. ah He was got on, was basically like, actually, do you know what it is? Now that I remember, I did follow this case. He probably would have won for the reason you're saying. ah Which is like free speech grounds and like
00:26:40
Speaker
I thought it would've been a big thing. Yeah. Sure. He said stuff that wasn't true. And like, but he didn't, he didn't do anything. So like, can you really say like, Hey, you said this stuff that wasn't true. Like if he could prove he actually believed it, which it seems like he does, you can't, you're not, you're not like a libel or whatever it would be, libeling someone if you believe what you're saying.
00:27:08
Speaker
and ah And you can't be held responsible for what people do. Like if you. You didn't tell people to go out and attack this family, they but people chose to on their own like that can't be his fault. What ended up happening is in both of the trials, he was being such a fucking dickhead in court.
00:27:29
Speaker
This is actually true. he was being such a He was being Alex Jones on TV in court. yes And if you're like super poorly behaved in court, the judge can just say, like hey, you're being such an asshole that we're just going to find in favor of the prosecution. yeah like the The plaintiffs win the case because you're such an asshole that I don't want to deal with you.
00:27:56
Speaker
And that's literally what happened in both cases. He was such an asshole. The judge was just like verdict in favor of the plaintiffs because you suck. So they didn't actually even try either of those cases, didn't actually go to trial, like truly go to trial because like where you present evidence and stuff because ah they just ended it up.
00:28:20
Speaker
ruling against him like halfway through. because fucking Yeah. I love it. Fully committed to the bid is a boss move. Yeah. I mean, if you piss off a judge so much that he's like, I don't actually care about what the law says you lose. And then like, just makes up a number where you're like to bill them infinity billion dollars, a bajillion dollars.
00:28:49
Speaker
He definitely cried after that. The bid was not worth it. He cried publicly. He didn't even go home and cry. He wouldn't do like the videos he did. All I wanted to do was protect you all from the demons and now yeah the demons are winning. And then people would send him money. That's part of the bid too. He cries and people are like, he's ah he's a warrior of God. He's still cooler than Joe Rogan.
00:29:19
Speaker
Oh yeah. that I mean, and I'm like a skit. Yeah. Objectively. Yes. Like Joe Rogan's. What even is Joe Rogan? He's ah not, not half of the man is a Jones. Joe Rogan peaked when he was eating cockroaches. Dude. That's true. Still had hair. Still had hair. Has had a sense of purpose.

Thanksgiving Mishaps and Fashion Tales

00:29:49
Speaker
Um, now he's like, Oh, I'm not gonna, I don't even know. I don't actually listen to that show. So I can't really do an impression. What else is, uh, what else is going on in life? What else is happening?
00:30:05
Speaker
in life or in the, in the world. yeah what ah You have any, any good notes? I forgot to write anything down for this week. yeah I didn't write anything down either. It's definitely not showing people listening. are like This is an airtight podcast. They, they have it. It's crazy. They have it. Uh, perfect. I'm ah engaged.
00:30:31
Speaker
Yeah. Locked in. Same. Oh, there's another another new episode until we brought that up. What? Then we told we just brought that. We didn't have another something. I couldn't ever guess. Couldn't, couldn't even tell the difference. No, exactly. We shouldn't have even said anything. Well, we were off for a week because of Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, I guess.
00:30:57
Speaker
i fight a turkey I hope somebody in ah that listens, I hope maybe one of our, that has to be the ratio. One of our listeners was at a Thanksgiving dinner and they they did that thing where they accidentally got piss all over their jeans and walked out of the bathroom. They had no option besides to walk out of the bathroom and hide it for the next two hours until it dried up probably.
00:31:25
Speaker
You just claim you, it was was a sink splashed on you. No, okay no one's going to say, no one's going to say anything. Like you're not going to walk out of the bathroom and announce like soaked in piss. The sea. Oh my gosh. Your sink splashed all this water right on my pants. get jesus big Geez. Geez. I'm Christmas. Like you don't announce it, but if it ever, I don't know if you're like cousin was like giving you shit. You just like to sink splashed on me. I pissed myself.
00:31:55
Speaker
You can just take a big, yeah, so what? I don't know. So what? I pissed all over my fucking khakis. I can't fucking, can't fucking degrade me for that. You can't get me down for that. Then just piss yourself right there. How was the frying of the turkey? Everybody was happy about it, right? everyone sykes yeah everyone Everyone's Everyone enjoyed it.
00:32:20
Speaker
My sister-in-law said it was the best turkey ever. My sister who has been vegan for living memory, uh, just became not vegan anymore this year. So this is the first Turkey she's had in at least at least 15 years, I think. Holy shit. And she was like, this is the right Turkey to be my first Turkey. Nice. So that was great.
00:32:51
Speaker
uh yeah and uh no problems it did overflow a little bit i definitely uh had my brother thinking i was going to set fire to the tent in the backyard that we put up but it was fine no no fire nothing i don't understand so the first time i did it last year like the way they say to do it it's like you You fill the, you put the Turkey in the pot and then you fill it with water to see how high the oil should go. So then you like take the Turkey out. You mark. Oh, is that what I fucking did wrong? Hey, here you go. Um, anyway, then you like mark the line, uh, on the thing. And then that's how you know how much oil to put in.
00:33:39
Speaker
I know exactly what I did wrong now. That's fucking hilarious. ah And I did it this time and it was way too much oil. And so like we had to as I was like submerging, I was like, this is going to overflow. And we had to pivot, not pivot, but I like my brother ran and got like a pot and like dumped it in and just pulled some fucking boiling oil out, which was a G. But now ah now that I think about it, what we must have done that was stupid was I must have
00:34:09
Speaker
Uh, forgot and entirely Archimedes principle. I think when I marked the pot, I had the Turkey in there. So I would have filled it with oil without a Turkey in there to the line where it would be with a Turkey in it. So I filled it with a Turkey's volume amount too much oil.
00:34:32
Speaker
That's gotta to be what I did wrong. I was thinking about it. I was like, what the fuck went wrong that time? Um, now I know I saw some, some people took that fried their turkeys, post them and, and I was like, Ooh, mine looked the best. Yeah. That did. Honestly. I was like, damn, some people left it in a little too long and you can't really go back. It's not like you just have another Turkey, you know? No. And it's like the best part. Maybe the oil was hot too hot. It may be on the other people's as well. I feel like some people, yeah, I think, I don't.
00:35:08
Speaker
I guess I don't know. I've used the same rig that I have all the times I've done it, but, uh, three 50 peanut oil. First of all, yeah I think a lot of people go vegetable oil, which I wouldn't, or even like I saw somebody on fucking Instagram or people kept sending me Instagram videos of people's turkeys catching fire. The yeah. Cause I posted the story. People kept,
00:35:37
Speaker
Like I honestly got like eight people sent me shit. Uh, one was like somebody used olive oil. I was like, no, I cannot eat olive oils, but peanut oil, ideally, or like a high smoke point oil, uh, 350 degrees, not a little bit higher. Cause what is olive oil just smokes everywhere, right? Yeah. I can't go that high. It's like not even really meant for cooking. Um,
00:36:03
Speaker
What do you mean? It's not meant for cooking. ah could it all Yeah, so do I, but you're, it's not actually that good to cook with. Why? how it so today people Because cause you're probably like frying with it and it's not really meant to be heated that much. Well, it fucking does the job. I'm not, I'm not, I use it too. I'm just saying if Bob's were here, he would be telling us about beef tallow.
00:36:32
Speaker
Only use beef tallow. Avocado oil. I use avocado oil. I have that. Uh, anyway, uh, peanut oil, 350, uh, Brian, your Turkey.
00:36:54
Speaker
And, uh, fry it until it's one 65. All this is, doesn't matter. Cause it's after Thanksgiving. Yeah, that's true. Well, I'm a, I'm going to fry another one on Saturday. So, Oh yeah. Friends giving friends giving. That's right. Let's put on the podcast at a hundred percent volume. the Turkey frying. I'll take audio of it.
00:37:20
Speaker
No, just this. Listen to the, get a Bluetooth speaker and just put on dudes are us. No, I can do that. Drown everybody else out at the party. I don't want to hear them anyway. I mean it for the food. Uh, yeah. So that was sick. Yeah. Damn. I feel stupid now. That should have been like an obvious fucking Fucking idiot. My name is oh been been ben jarvis Ben Jarvis Greenbean. Ben Jarvis of ah and NYPD. and yp n New York City Police. New York City Police. We need
00:38:02
Speaker
we need a We need black guys talking about Kool-Aid again and getting into that type of old like 2008 black guy where they're just joking about that type of stuff. yeah I think we're going to be back there pretty soon. Sugar ratio, sugar water ratio in this bitch. Wear basketball shorts under your jeans.
00:38:22
Speaker
Dude, what is that? I used to do that, dude. It's just just the all time black guy move. What is the purpose? Okay. Well, first comfort, a lot of comfort going on there. Yeah, yeah it's a lot of block. it yeah I wouldn't, I would say the comforts like, I don't know. It's comfortable. I guess sometimes in the winter, I could, I could see it being comfortable. Okay. It's a lot.
00:38:49
Speaker
luckco really You just don't know. Maybe you got to swim. Maybe you got to hoop up and and maybe you got to get more comfortable. you got get Then you got shorts right there. Yeah, I could see. So that's the other thing is I had friends ah growing up who did that, but it was because They were like, no you did they were into like the hardcore music scene and that, and they would wear gym shorts under their jeans for moshing. So you could show up at the show in short in a jeans. And then when the moshing started, you literally took your pants off. They would do that.
00:39:27
Speaker
so ah But I also noticed that black people did it. And I didn't think those two things were related. It's like everything we stole. We stole it all from the black guys. Yeah. Black. We got to get back to that. That's all I'm saying. Moshen or, or just throwing up hoops.
00:39:45
Speaker
h
00:39:48
Speaker
I guess I get that. Yeah. Hey, what it is what it is. It is what it is. Play boy.
00:40:01
Speaker
What else? What else were they doing? That was cool. In 2008, not tying their shoes. 2008, I was a new sneakers. Get some blue sneakers going again. Make that don't crease your shoes. Let's get that shit going. Oh, man. Creasing your shoes can't be creasing your shoes. It's whack as hell. Match everything. Let's just match everything. Oh, dude, I was so i I have a very distinct memory.
00:40:31
Speaker
Uh, when I was in 2008, I, I worked at Urban Outfitters in Boston and I remember a black guy coming in and it's not, it's not, it's a but not a black store, but it's definitely not.
00:40:50
Speaker
the most popular store with black people, at least at the time. It was definitely more ah guy like black guy skull candy, headphone type black guy or no, and no, no, no, no. They actually, yeah. Cause we had like anime t-shirts. They would have been, they were, they were fine. No, he was like, uh, but we sold like, you know, we sold like Nike's and we sold, I don't fucking know. Occasionally you'd like hit it. You'd have like, like we had like Fela for a while. Fela like really brought in,
00:41:21
Speaker
a different element. Uh, anyway, this guy walked in and people, you know, people come in and they think because you work there that you are like, you know anything about not, not, that you know, um but they'd ask you like, Hey, like what should I wear with this? You know, like I like this jacket, but like, how do you make an outfit out of it? I don't actually know what you'd like help people. Anyway, this black guy comes in, he's in,
00:41:49
Speaker
Uh, I'm just, I don't remember the exact outfit, but let's say he's just in like a red t-shirt and jeans and he comes in and he wants red sneakers. Of course. Uh, and so I'm like, Oh, I don't know. We've got like vans. We've got these Nike's and he's like asking me like, is this red the same as the red on the t-shirt? And I was like, Hey man, like,
00:42:10
Speaker
And know this is very much also at the time, but I was like, I was like, I was like, dude, you don't really like match. You shouldn't really match like that. And he was like, what do you mean? And I was like, you kind of like.
00:42:21
Speaker
like nobody wear Like nobody dresses like you shouldn't like just try to wear all the same kind of red. That's like not how you make an outfit. and you And I was also wearing like... What are you doing? You're telling them Santa Claus isn't real right now. I was wearing like gray shoes and a gray t-shirt or something. And he was like, well, you're wearing your shoes and your shirt match. And I was like, it's different, dude. I was like, you can't just wear like...
00:42:44
Speaker
ah red shirt, red pants and a red and red shoes. Like that's not, you're going to look like a cartoon character. And he got so mad at me and left without buying anything points at you. He says, well, you're wearing basketball shorts under your jeans too. yeah Well, it's different per it's a lot different purposes. After my job here, I mosh and you know,
00:43:06
Speaker
You do other things. That's basically it. I mean, he called me out. He was like, you match. I was like, but not like you're talking about. It's different. I have a job. I drive a car.
00:43:20
Speaker
ah But yes, I learned something that day. I was like, oh, not everyone wants to dress like a hipster. That guy just wanted me to tell him he looked good head to toe in the same color and his friends probably would have liked that outfit.
00:43:34
Speaker
he he'd bere if If I, if I, if he had let me pick an outfit for him, he would have showed up and they would be like, are you gay now? They would have beat him up. he He came in a week later and pretty woman dress, but black guy style.
00:43:51
Speaker
um
00:43:54
Speaker
He had the, he had the clap, the, the 2011 Bluetooth headphones in and came in sunglasses on. It's a guy, yeah, I own this store now. This is a, this is a Eblinz now, motherfucker. We're selling, this is Eblinz. You work for me. Oh my gosh. Oh man.
00:44:16
Speaker
That's how you started your knife collection. Yeah. As soon as, as soon as he walked out, do like close one, I got a stock up. That's when it started close one, dodged a bullet. Tango down. Never get caught lacking again. Yeah. Now you have a hundred knives for that guy. Damn. You're telling me this red ain't the exact red. I need, I need to know this pimp.
00:44:44
Speaker
Yeah, I was like, you're going to look like the fucking M&Ms guy. So mad. Yeah, exactly, bro. He went over to the point. He dropped a bag at Marshalls after that. There was a TJ Maxx across the street. That was the ultimate insult. And I didn't say it to him, but the ultimate insult, if somebody came in and asked for something that we didn't have, or that was like beneath us, you know, like, cause people also just didn't know they'd come in and be like,
00:45:14
Speaker
Like do you have like, I don't fucking know. I'm trying to think of like something that was super basic that people would ask for. You got like the LeBron Jersey on like his old team, not the one he's on right now. I don't even mean like that. And I'm not necessarily black people. Uh, people would come in and ask for that. Basically like people would come in and ask for things that like weren't trendy at that time.
00:45:37
Speaker
You'd be like, can you like back then, like obviously like the skinnier, the jeans, the better. And people would come in and be like, do you have like straight, straight leg or like loose fit jeans? And you'd be like, no, there's a TJ Maxx across the street though. They probably have them. And that would be like telling them to fuck off.

Retail Adventures and Traffic Stops

00:45:55
Speaker
That'd be like your dirt, your dirt, go shop in the Pavo store.
00:46:00
Speaker
Do you have ah any any jeans with a ah carpenter pocket on the side that are loose and they got like the Denver Nuggets envelope on the back and leg?
00:46:15
Speaker
I got to try. I checked T.J. Maxx. You got like 18 pairs of of like white and blue nautica socks over here that I can grab. They wouldn't ask. They just steal those T.J. Maxx or T.J. Maxx.
00:46:33
Speaker
You have like a pair of like brand new Hyperdunk Nikes, and but they're like red and yellow, so they're like $27.00. No, that's all right. It's an eight and a half. Yeah. That's a TJ Maxx purchaser. Sorry. They have 42 pairs on the wall lined up for you.
00:46:57
Speaker
DJ Max just holds mad luggage, tons of random other coffees that you won't find anywhere else. Yeah, it's crazy. Sort of snacks like insane shit and then they say like never random things. Never buy salt from the grocery store.
00:47:16
Speaker
Like if you, I know like the, you can probably count in your entire life on one hand, the number of times you had to go and buy salt, but when you do go to TJ max, they have like, they have a jar. Uh, that's like one gallon of salt for four 99.
00:47:37
Speaker
And, um, what else? They got jackets there that are like, Anything but warm there anything but functional is every single TJ Maxx jacket Well, they always get like the worst leftover of like whatever trend was happening. Yeah. Like last year or two years ago. So like, there's a lot of like shitty tech wear. Oh yeah. They have there right now. The heating pads with Bluetooth speakers in them. Yeah. And like zipper, like all kinds of zippers. I didn't need, like, I didn't need this. Like what is going on here?
00:48:17
Speaker
They still have all their backpacks still have the iPod cord for your headphones. pocket Dude, that thing was actually like, that was sick. You got to get a backpack with a little hole in it that the headphones could go through instead of having to thread them through the zipper. And that was you. That was like you were definitely you're like a rich kid.
00:48:41
Speaker
Like a day kind backpack with a hole in it. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. Can I, can I speak to Jim Michael, green, grand berry? Can speak to Jim Michael, grand berry? He's in all purple. Oh, grimace.
00:49:06
Speaker
hey
00:49:09
Speaker
His mom is the manager at the, the Wendy's off of 95.
00:49:16
Speaker
that one never went until so What else have we got going on?
00:49:22
Speaker
ah o I think I wanted Pops to talk about this too. Today, they today like all the conspiracy theorists were predicting that ah there was going to be an alien invasion.
00:49:38
Speaker
It was like some, some guy that the discord is going to fire off after they listened to this on this, ah on this subject right here. Yeah. Some guy who, uh, allegedly predicted the tsunami, like the Indonesian tsunami in like whatever year that was 2012 or whenever.
00:50:00
Speaker
Uh, also at the same time had predicted that on December 3rd, 2024, there'd be an alien invasion. So everyone was like, well, he was right about the tsunamis. Uh, so yeah, you go to like our slash UFO or our slash conspiracy. A lot of people.
00:50:18
Speaker
really disappointed that they didn't get ripped by aliens, frankly. Oh man, they're so bummed out. They spent so much money on today, probably too. They probably have all their money in cash. Yeah. Spent a lot of money or just like didn't try. They were like, well, why would I, you know, apply, babe, why am I going to apply for jobs? Aliens are coming in in six months. And then this happens.
00:50:46
Speaker
Why are we going to get married after 12 years if we're going to just die by aliens before? Yeah. They're down so they're down heavily bad right now. I was like, fuck, I've got to like renew my vehicle registration.
00:51:00
Speaker
Gotta pay my taxes. Oh, man. Boy, yeah i got I got speaking of that. I got pulled over driving. ah No way. Driving last week. Didn't ah I got caught in a speed trap classic?
00:51:17
Speaker
Yuck. Just coming down a hill. I'm not used to the, uh, the slower, the slower speeds on the the roads here. If it's two lanes and there's a median in the middle, I'm going 60 on it, but I guess it was a 45. I'm right there with you. Like those, road like those roads go into your place. Uh, not going to say where, but like, you know, two lane roads, yeah median.
00:51:43
Speaker
long straight road through like not the country, but where you're like, there's not people here going like 60, 70 on that. Come on. Yeah. This was a state road. Fucking a SUV cop got me. I was like, God damn it. I saw his brake lights hit immediately when I drove past him. I was like, great. Fuck. There's no like,
00:52:05
Speaker
non-SUV cops up here anymore. there There aren't any like in a like Crown Vic or whatever. They're all in fucking Dodge Chargers. Anyway, continue. Oh yeah, nothing crazy. He just came up and my wife laughed so hard after she kept saying it and I was i didn't really think of anything. He was like, oh, I gave him like my stuff and he was like, yeah, you're going like 19 over or something. Like, why were you, uh, why are you speeding so fast?
00:52:34
Speaker
And I was like, uh, yeah, my foot was just on the gas. So I don't know. Such a fucking smart-ass answer. I did not think anything of it. That was word for word what I told him. I was like, yeah, my foot was just on the gas. So, uh, that's where I was. And, uh, here I am now. Yeah. Do you know, do you know how cars work? You fucking retard.
00:53:00
Speaker
And he ended up just giving me a warning. So I guess it worked out on my, uh, my, uh, my end. Cause my wife was like, well, I mean, I guess like he, he was probably like, you know what, this guy's being straight up with me.
00:53:16
Speaker
mean if you ah It's such a funny question. yeah Exactly. You want to tell me about, uh, I mean, how do you like,
00:53:28
Speaker
They're the only valid answer is like some version of like, I wasn't paying attention, which is like the worst thing you could say. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I just didn't know how fast I was going. Sorry. You'd be like, that's kind of fucked up. So at least you were like, which I didt know though i was like, yeah, my foot was on the gas and, uh, vroom, vroom.
00:53:51
Speaker
Now here we are right now. That's us. I had no idea what I was just, that was, just came right. I didn't even think about what I was, what, if he was going to ask that, I was just off the dome. I was like, you know what? And I'm, I'm not, uh, I've, I've been arrested multiple times, so I'm never going to bullshit a cop. I'm just, you know, giving him an honest answer. I don't think he is expecting that dead deep of an honest answer where I was just breaking down the mechanics of driving in a car back to him.
00:54:22
Speaker
It might've been his first, his first time here in that, that reasoning. Maybe but people usually give an excuse or something that he was expecting. Yeah. I feel like people are usually going to be like, Oh, I didn't notice the the speed limit. I was coming down the hill. Ooh. I'm late for work. Just, uh, Ooh. You were like, yeah, buddy. My foot was on the fucking gas. So now you got me. Let's see. Let's, let's hurry this whole thing up here.
00:54:54
Speaker
He was cool. He was cool. He gave me, gave me the warning. It took all about like six minutes. Yep. and I was like, God damn, all my shit's registered in different states. So he was probably like, what the hell? I don't want to fuck it. I don't want any smoke with this guy right now. They definitely do. Well, I felt, so I, my car had mass plates the whole time. I lived in Nevada for two years and never really got bothered by the police. Like didn't, I mean,
00:55:24
Speaker
had an expired registration, had expired inspection. Obviously I spent all the time just cause I don't know how to, I just, that's just normal. Never had any issues. I think they're just like, that's fucking, I don't want to deal with that.
00:55:43
Speaker
yeah Yeah. I mean, maybe he just knew he was like, damn, this guy ain't fucking around now. This guy's real. This guy's wearing fucking and ah basketball shorts under his jeans. Yeah, exactly. As soon as you see that, you're like, Oh shit. Oh no. He's got that. He's got that pipe pipe on him and it's tucked in the fucking jeans. They pull out on me. Me. No, we don't want no problem.
00:56:13
Speaker
so so you a galaxy gas in the vehicle yeah yeah only white grape games in the vehicle that i should know about sir that' a roll for a fucking tea
00:56:26
Speaker
Yep.

Aquatic Pets and Closing Remarks

00:56:27
Speaker
Then, uh, also went and got the, uh, cuter first fish. And that was cool. The pecco guy was ah absolute. The fish pecco guy was on his fucking shit, dude. The guy was just a fish. He was legit fish guy, which was awesome. You don't really feel like if you're, I was like, damn, if you are, well, I guess I don't know.
00:56:49
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like you probably have one of two experiences in the fish department at Petco, which is yours. There's a guy who's like, holy shit, you should be like teaching. I like if if there was a degree in fish, you should be the professor teaching those classes.
00:57:06
Speaker
Or it's like somebody who they're just like, Hey, you got to go watch fish. Like your, it's your turn to be the fish question. person He was, he owned, he probably owned a fish store before I would assume. Yeah. All I could assume.
00:57:23
Speaker
That's dope. What'd you get? ah Tetra? Oh, no. Two molly fish. Two catfish.
00:57:35
Speaker
ah Both of the molly and the catfish are Dalmatian. So they're black and white Dalmatians. That's cool. I'm looking at a picture now. It looks cool. Looks like somebody sprinkled pepper on it. Two um I forget what the names are, but they're dope. They're orange, but they're not goldfish. Obviously there's some other type of fish and they call Mickey mouse cause they have literally the perfect Mickey mouse imprint on the tails of both of them. Oh yeah. They're all in a ah nice 10 gallon tank, colorful pebbles and cool hideouts and stuff. And
00:58:13
Speaker
You know, the whole nine yards, doing the thing and water tank heater and all that stuff. Fish flakes, fish flakes. Yeah. Fucking good time, man. Also, this guy fucking rocks on fish. The ones I wanted to get all were like, yeah, you can't get those. Yeah. You can't get those either. I was like, whatever. Why?
00:58:39
Speaker
Either it's crazy that fish are like pack fish. They're like, yeah, once you get this one, or like whatever ones you go with, uh, like aren't going to, uh, like they won't allow other fish into the tank besides the ones they start with. Oh, weird. Yes. We'll just attack them.
00:59:04
Speaker
Huh? They'll just like attack new fish if they are introduced. Yes. They'll eat the shit out of them. That's crazy. Yeah. So I, uh, I don't really get it. Little fish stuff, fish behavior. Yeah, exactly. Um, and then obviously I think people just like the beta fish aren't even with the other fish. There's in those little deli cups, cups, like on the aisle side of the fish area. Yeah. That seems terrible. Cause they just live in those, they live in those little fucking court half courts. I didn't know they did that until I walked by one. I was like, Jesus Christ. But I also think it's well one, they,
00:59:46
Speaker
ah They only could be with a very slim amount of fish. Yeah, they don't really play a nice. So I think it's probably like you could only ever have one to a tank anyway, so it's like impractical to. Yeah, theres a whole bunch. And then also like in the wild, they live in fucking like mud puddles like rice paddy mud. So it's like they're probably.
01:00:12
Speaker
People are like that super cruel and it kind of is because it's such a small container, but also like I think they buy a lot or like evolutionarily, they're like pretty used to being like, fuck, I live in a puddle. I don't have a lot to go on here. You know what I want to be is ah I want to be a jellyfish guy instead of a fish guy. Oh, OK. Let's get a tank and just have massive jellyfishers floating around in them. Oh, like at a ah like Kelly's roast beef. They have that there.
01:00:43
Speaker
I don't know if they have it at all of them. The Kelly's roast beef in Framingham, Massachusetts has ah has a big fucking like cylindrical tank in the middle of the restaurant that just has like moon jellyfish in it. Nice. Like hundreds of them. I love that. Yeah, it's rad. They like shine lights on them and stuff. No brain, no heart, nothing. They're just alive. How cool is that? How fucking cool is that? They just do stuff. They just know they like some like i must be all the shitty ground meat that is like pre-ground or whatever, but like has jellyfish in it.
01:01:23
Speaker
Um, like, uh, is cut with jellyfish. So ah dirty jobs. No way. Yep. Just to add protein to it. Like to add mass without adding beef.
01:01:40
Speaker
Yes. That's crazy. There's no taste in whatever else. Yeah, it was dirty jobs. Mike Rowe, look it up. Look it up, you fact checker, fucking losers. Yeah, I believe you. Fact check me. Fact check me, I fucking dare you. Look it up. fire Look it up the episode, watch the whole episode, then get back to me.
01:02:05
Speaker
Pink slime. All right. ah That's the episode. I hope you fucking listen to the first part and fucking maybe they all knock themselves out by the end of the episode. I think they probably took the advice from the beginning. Once I, once I started talking about, uh, how the, how fucking court cases work or whatever, then they probably hung themselves.
01:02:35
Speaker
All right. Well, free, free Karen Reed, free Karen Reed. Go to hell. Go to hell. You're not on her side anymore. No, no, no, no, no. I'm still on her side. All right. Cool. Hell yeah.
01:02:50
Speaker
All right. Later. Shout out to, uh, shout out Fanny. Did them shout out Patrick C shadow. Hank chill. Shout out all the big, the big trio. That's three of them, right? Yeah. One, two, three. One, two, three. Yep. Right. That's three. You did name three people. Yeah. Yeah. Come on.