Transcript
Chef Mike: That's it.
123: That's it. We're here.
Chef Mike: We're back.
123: This time for real.
Chef Mike: Two out of three of us are back. Paul is, I assume, sleeping in a child's bed right now.
123: He's getting swatted right now.
Chef Mike: Getting swatted.
123: yeah We're back to Jared Aiden on here. Like, you know, black, black, yeah, black faggot guy. here on the podcast.
123: I'm a black faggot guy here. Black fag Randy. Black guy.
Chef Mike: BFG.
123: here We're here. We're back.
Chef Mike: It's been three months, I think.
123: Three months, yeah. had to get some you know Had to get some creative ideas flowing, you know?
Chef Mike: Yeah, we weren't just playing PUBG the whole time.
123: yeah I forgot that ah has not stopped since then. Just ki addictively been playing PUBG still, but we're not recording and playing PUBG, so...
123: Don't worry, Patrick see this is a ah listenable track.
Chef Mike: Oh, yeah. We'll have to let him know. um Not that there'll be any there'll be any fewer, just like long pauses where we're not talking. Because that had nothing to do with video games and everything to do with the yeah autism.
123: ah That's just the show. That's how it goes.
123: Wherever you're listening to at this, if it's in your car or at work or just at home by yourself cooking or something, I hope you enjoy this episode full of absolutely nothing.
Chef Mike: Yeah, it's gonna it's going to rock.
123: This episode is going to fucking suck and you're going to like it.
Chef Mike: Fucking suck.
123: yeah it's gonna fucking suck so badly gotta fucking enjoy it every moment of it yeah we're back though I did have a name a name change idea for the show today though and when I was driving though
Chef Mike: Hell yeah. yeah
Chef Mike: Tell me about it. What does that mean? Like a change of the podcast name?
123: Yes, let me know what you let me know what you think.
Chef Mike: Okay.
123: It'd called the Mexican, the black faggot, and the fat guy.
Chef Mike: Which one's which?
123: obviously I'm the black faggot.
Chef Mike: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
123: you're You're the Mexican. Paul is the fat guy.
Chef Mike: Yeah, that could work. Do you think you'll be able to say black faggot on Spotify? That might get us little bit placed lower on Spotify and Apple.
123: yeah
123: yeah Yeah, that's true. I was just some brainstorming.
Chef Mike: We could try, though.
123: Just from that indian the Indian doctor bit that we were doing and it made me think about that for them assuming Colin Paul is a very big man.
Chef Mike: Very big.
123: Yeah, I'll try to kick that around and see if Apple proves it.
Chef Mike: Yeah, we'll workshop that. That could be, i mean, that could be what was holding us back.
123: Yeah. It's big.
Chef Mike: I know, see, part of the thing is, and is we were pretty sure when we started this podcast at a year in, we were going to be able to quit our jobs. And what actually happened? Well, you quit your job.
Chef Mike: I just got fired.
123: yeah ah Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Two out of three are not employed. what you know One was an accident. That was on your end. was I'll say not fired. Maybe you got maybe you left on accident.
Chef Mike: Yeah, I mean, don't know. Yeah.
Chef Mike: I don't know how much I held back when we were still recording.
123: Hey, it ain't bad.
Chef Mike: I think we we obviously ah our last or one or two second until last or whatever was when it happened. But prior to that, I don't know how much I held back on the pod, but I absolutely stopped working in November.
123: Absolutely. No work being done at all.
Chef Mike: Like I like first week of November, i just ah started putting fake meetings on my calendar and ah declining meetings like group meeting, like a meeting that you don't need to be there for because someone else will be there.
123: Class. Yes, exactly.
Chef Mike: And if it's important, they'll tell you what's what's happening.
123: yes exactly
Chef Mike: And ah my boss didn't have projects for me and I didn't ask for projects to do and genuinely from basically the election until they fired me in January, I didn't do anything.
123: That's not that bad over a run.
Chef Mike: was actually more work covering my trail because I had to like, remember to put like fake shit up.
123: Oh, yeah.
Chef Mike: And but some of my friends who kind of knew kept telling me like, Hey, your teams thing says your, has been idle for the last three hours. Like people can see that.
Chef Mike: So then I had all these things figured out for how to keep teams saying you're active. Like ah if you, uh, if you open teams on your phone and you have,
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: a YouTube video overlay, not like YouTube app open, but some sometimes you can get the video to appear like as its own window on top of your screen.
123: okay
Chef Mike: yeah If you have teams open with the YouTube video overlay on top of teams, then teams will never go idle because like something about the YouTube video thing makes it think you're active.
Chef Mike: And so just and then I would do that and just put on like ah eight hours of like rain noises YouTube video. And then mute my phone and just put my phone somewhere so that the YouTube video kept my phone active or kept my teams active.
Chef Mike: And then I could just go to the gym or whatever.
123: I thought if you just like click like I did, like I used to do, I thought if you're on teams and you do like a PowerPoint wall, like, or whatever in your teams, it stays active forever.
Chef Mike: I didn't maybe that that's probably true too. There's probably way better ways to do what I was trying to do, but that was the way I figured out like the stat. I thought for a while statuses, like you can set your status as whatever available and then set it to never expire, but it's, but it expires.
123: Immediately, as soon as you stop being active.
Chef Mike: No, but it, it, it, it like refreshes after two hours or something. And that was just like, wasn't working for me.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: um so I don't know what the deal was there. And then I also know for sure because they send you those emails that are like, you get, you spent 10 hours this week, double booked.
Chef Mike: You spent four hours this week late for meeting. Like you, uh, Microsoft sends you that like weekly summary. And it's like, here are some suggestions for how to be more efficient. So it's like all that information is somewhere.
Chef Mike: And it's hard for to me to imagine that if Microsoft, like Vista or whatever it is, is sending me an email that's like, hey you you know had 30 hours of meetings this week and you spent 10 hours doing this, that it also isn't sending a usage report to like an IT t person who's like, hey these people haven't opened their email 15 days, which
123: yeah
Chef Mike: fifteen days which was me
123: Only a few months of it, though. that's not That's not incredible grifting.
Chef Mike: No, solid, like solidly not doing work was only November, December. But obviously prior to that had been like some pretty intense.
123: That's the life.
Chef Mike: Like scaling back of the amount of work I was doing.
123: Yep. When I was, ah I was grifting hard, but I guess it was agreed to grift when I told them I was quitting that job. We worked at the same company.
123: And I told them I was going to leave in a certain amount of time. And they were gracious enough to say, when do you want to leave? And I said, it was April. And I was like, September, I'll officially leave.
123: And from April to September, I did absolutely nothing. And it was allowed on. And it was incredible. But you do do feel bad.
Chef Mike: Yeah, I feel like that's understood.
123: Feel grifting. You're like, ah, whatever. But then after a while, just you just set it to pace and you just don't do anything. You don't go to meetings. Cancel everything.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Yeah. That's normal.
123: Sometimes you hear the teams thing go off and you're like, what the fuck?
Chef Mike: Oh my God. Getting a team's call.
123: What the fuck?
Chef Mike: I'm like, I haven't gotten out of bed yet today.
123: Just get mad at them, dude. Don't fucking reach out to me.
123: But now here we are. Now Jerry's unemployed. he's He's looking for work desperately. He's doing airport shuttle runs, trying to figure it out right now.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Chef Mike: I'm stealing chairs from places. Like, a a lot of places you can get into the lobby without a key or, like, having any business there. and a lot of those lobbies have chairs in them.
Chef Mike: Sometimes you can steal them.
123: Yeah, that's true.
Chef Mike: So I've been stealing chairs a lot. Um... ah uh i tried day trading i'm not good at it so
123: but did you lose Did you lose money?
Chef Mike: i tried a little bit like i started with a little bit of money just to be i think it's also a bad time to try to do that but uh you know a little bit of money and i was like i need to i i admire the people who have the like
123: Okay, hell yeah.
123: Yeah, it's fucked.
Chef Mike: attention span and probably like also they're smart to like read a bunch of stuff and like evaluate stuff and make decisions based on their own like intuition and intellect instead of just because obviously by the time somebody is recommending it to you like no matter how niche you think the like so subreddit or discord you found is that's giving tips by the time somebody's giving you a tip you're late
123: Oh yeah.
123: Oh yeah.
Chef Mike: Like you're getting fucked somehow. So, and I don't have the attention span to like read a bunch of news to be like, Ooh, like concrete.
123: Got a short big concrete right now.
Chef Mike: Yeah. I can't do that. So that, that I was sure I could make, like, I can't be that hard to make like eight grand a month doing that. It's impossible. i don't know how anyone does it.
123: You see the guys. It surprises me always on Reddit on the trading forms. I mean, it surprises me on Reddit. Anybody that has um million dollars on the bank is on Reddit.
123: But it seems like that's a majority of the people on Reddit.
Chef Mike: Yes.
123: If I had millions of dollars in the bank, I don't think I'd be on Reddit.
Chef Mike: No.
123: Those are the guys that are putting like shorter call calls on their Reddit on whatever trading form. And you look at it, they're like, oh, they have 630 contracts bought of this certain stock option.
123: It's like, ah it's insane people just lose 80 grand at a time or they'll be up and insane amounts.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
123: But most of time it's a big loss.
Chef Mike: I mean, for what but like what little i have, you know relatively speaking, in just regular like index funds and shit, as just like you know like actual stocks, the swing sometimes when I look at it, you know and you're like on a bad day or on a good day, like everything jumped like
123: Oh, yeah.
Chef Mike: Earlier this week or last week for some reason. i don't know why, but like when I looked at it and it was like, you're up $800 today. And i was like, what the fuck? That still feels very, uh, I don't know.
Chef Mike: It still feels like a lot, but yeah, dude going on. I mean, wall street bets or any of those ones where people are like, Oh, I fucked up today. And like you said, they're like down 80 grand or people who are like, who like, Oh, doing pretty good this year.
123: Oh, my God. Yeah.
Chef Mike: And they're like up 12 on like $5 million. dollars And you're like,
123: yeah
Chef Mike: What are you doing?
123: Why are you on Reddit?
Chef Mike: are you here Why are you here?
123: Don't come on here. Reddit should be, you should have to pass like an income test on there.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
123: Go on to your own form.
Chef Mike: And I also think, like in my head, somebody who's just got $5 million dollars of like what they treat like fun money and the stock market
123: Oh, yeah.
Chef Mike: is some like hedge fund douche bag piece of shit. And I bet those are like, like 16 year old, like anime nerds who just like have their autism is calls and puts.
123: Yep.
123: yeah
Chef Mike: And they just, they they've cracked the code somehow. And it's, it doesn't even like it's more points than it is money to them. They're like, Ooh, big number.
123: calls and puts baby to be honest not not financial advice besides like a retirement account the other account today or yesterday ah just went all cash i fucking sold everything it was like i'm fucking sitting on this i'm not fucking playing around with the uh ups and downs anymore this market
Chef Mike: Which I respect.
123: Once I went back up last, whatever, last week.
Chef Mike: I've considered it.
123: Sorry, of this is boring talk for everybody. But once it went up this week and I like got back up, I was like, time to cash it out. Time to just sit on it. I didn't move it or anything. I just still have it if I wanted to go back in on something. But I was like, fuck this.
123: You're living, not living and dying by the week, but ups and downs every week is fucking.
Chef Mike: It's a lot. Well, the way they get you to not, I mean, now you have to pay your taxes on your realized gains.
123: That's a lot.
123: Yeah, that's true. That's true, but that's for next year's problem.
Chef Mike: Yeah, I've really, and we didn't talk about,
123: Could be dead. Could be dead by next year.
Chef Mike: uh, this was the year that I did pay my taxes, but the closest I've ever been to
123: Not paying him.
Chef Mike: not going to get caught. I actually think I owed money and they haven't taken it out yet, which is crazy. I'm sure they, cause it's the government. I'm sure they have like seven years to do that. So I just have to live right now knowing that there's like actually two grand less in an account than there should be.
123: Trump, dude, he's going to get it. He's just going to one day they're waiting for him to just say there's no more taxes that they're just going to not. They're not going to process that transaction. That's why.
Chef Mike: That's kind of what I thought. I was like, Oh, he's been talking about like,
123: there's There's no one there for you to pi to to put that transaction through right now.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Well, I sort of thought that because he was talking about like eliminating income tax because of the tariffs and stuff. And I thought because it had after they had said like your federal tax return has been accepted. And then like after like three or four weeks went by and the money was still in there or it was. Yeah. The money that I owed was still in the account. I was like, is he like planning some shit?
123: Something, that yeah.
Chef Mike: It'd be a very him thing to do to like make a big announcement of it and be like, I'm sure you've noticed.
Chef Mike: You're welcome.
123: That's also, though, if you if you're getting a refund, he doesn't give those out. He's like, it's a why your hands are washed.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
123: Everybody who owes doesn't pay, and whoever got a refund doesn't get one.
Chef Mike: He blamed that on fucking...
123: I'm sorry.
Chef Mike: You blame that on Biden somehow. he'd be ah The money was supposed to be there. Biden took it. It's with the laptop.
123: think Joe Biden got a prostate cancer from being gay secretly?
Chef Mike: Yeah, definitely. Dude, three months, you'd think I would have had a better Trump impression, but I didn't work on it at at all.
123: Oh, man.
Chef Mike: ah Yeah, I think that's probably...
123: Sorry, you're gay, dude. And that Osama bin Laden documentary, you see they flash like the rooms. I know was like, what, 12 years ago or something.
Chef Mike: That's okay.
123: But they show the room and Joe Biden's in it with like Obama and stuff. And he looks like an actual person. I'm like, holy shit.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
123: He was a real person.
Chef Mike: He was still old then too.
123: Yeah. But he's like alive. You know what I mean?
Chef Mike: Yeah. It's funny because during, he was obviously like a more, what would you call it? He like did more as a vice president for Obama than like vice presidents usually do.
Chef Mike: Like he was an unusually,
123: Yes.
Chef Mike: ah relevant, I guess, but he was like old by whatever year that was 20 2008 standards. And,
123: But he's still alive. He's still with it in videos.
Chef Mike: and yeah, but then the other thing is like, maybe this is what got some people. He was like, Like there's a there's like an onion video ah back when the onion did YouTube videos, like making fun of him for like all of his gaffes.
123: Yeah,
Chef Mike: Like he like calling world leaders by the wrong name and like falling asleep in meetings and stuff.
123: yeah okay.
Chef Mike: And that was happening. That was happening 15 years ago. So I think some people probably saw him like, you know, a year ago, two years ago, not doing the same things, but being clearly fucking his brain just rotting away and being like, Oh, it's like how he used to call Narendra Modi fucking the president of Egypt from 20 years ago.
123: Hell yeah.
Chef Mike: Um, but yeah, assuming
123: That guy Biden was... He had the eight-hour rain track over his job in the way up. Over the team's butt for 10 years.
Chef Mike: yes he did ah
123: yeah Yeah, the 12-hour Sebastian Maniscalco YouTube stand-up series over his team's butt, dude.
Chef Mike: yes yes dude and that's the crazy thing is like what when you're the president
123: Make it.
Chef Mike: If he's just like, nah, I don't to do that. Like, clearly he did for some stuff like like press conferences and stuff where they were like, hey, like, everyone's freaking out about, ah like, Israel just, like, blew up 800 children and everyone's freaking out about it. Can you please, like, go talk to the press? And he's like, no.
123: yeah
Chef Mike: no, No. no
123: yeah No chance. no chance No chance, dude.
Chef Mike: Yeah, and then they just they just send what's-her-face out, the black woman who wore the bright suits.
123: oh yeah. Jackie Brown.
Chef Mike: Yeah. And she'd just be like, none of your business.
123: The president is the president. Then you just walk out. Everybody just scratching their heads. Them's the rules.
Chef Mike: Would you ask a man that question? No, she never did that. Oh, God.
123: Black lady pantsuit. She got up she'd got up there
Chef Mike: It's got a super... but That's just its own superpower.
123: Me a curry and a red beans.
Chef Mike: Honestly, should have done that.
123: Shaky warrior. Okay, Kamala.
Chef Mike: God.
123: Okay.
123: Oh, man.
123: Oh, God. Jesus Christ. I was at work today. i guess i my work, I have grown weed this whole time. I grow weed now in a small place.
123: Basically, two people, me and another dude. And today, there's no one there. Usually, it's just me at the grow at the facility. And the other dude comes in at like midnight. He like works for like midnight till like fucking four in the morning or something for some reason.
123: It's real come as you go place, which is great. And I hear him open the door behind me today. And he's like... very Boston dude. He's like, yo, what's up, dude? I'm like, hey, what's up, bro? And there's a guy, there's a dude I've never seen before in my life of extremely Ecuadorian man behind him with a ponytail.
Chef Mike: Hell yeah.
123: He's in his mid thirties. And I before I even, like, I just, ah like, he just immediately like goes, and he doesn't speak really barely any English. He goes, I'm with him.
123: I'm with him. You keep saying that over and over.
123: I'm like, okay, hell yeah. Long story short, they're pull they're trying to get in a giant freezer. One of the ones that you see in like a liquor store back in the day.
123: It says ice on it with the frosted ice letters in red.
Chef Mike: Oh, yeah.
Chef Mike: Love that.
123: Going to parking lot. that's them in a rented Penske truck in this fucking ginormous freezer in the back of the Penske truck, which is like four feet off the ground.
123: They're higher than a U-Haul. And they have no hand truck. They have no dolly.
Chef Mike: Wait, they don't have a lift gate or anything?
123: Nothing. Nothing.
Chef Mike: ha ha ha ha.
123: Nothing. And all this guy could say, the Ecuadorian guy, is is at first he said, I'm with him. And then he kept saying, excuse me at the wrong time.
123: so To, like, say something. Like, we're we're trying to get this freezer around the corner. And he just keeps saying, like, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
123: And then no one.
Chef Mike: That's awesome.
123: Not saying anything else after him.
Chef Mike: I was like two lessons into his English Duolingo.
123: see He's literally on like lesson number one, dude. And then he he pointed pointed at the water later on, this giant water tank that you use to water the facility. And he goes, water. I go, yep, right on, brother.
Chef Mike: Ah.
123: And that's really, that's, there's a giant a flat screen with like thousands of camera angles on the wall. I didn't know really what to say to him, so to kill time, like I just stood there, and we just stood in front of the cameras and looked at him like he knew. what He was probably perplexed.
123: My boy, that the other guy, was like, yeah, bro, this is like my dad's girlfriend's nephew or some shit. I don't really know, but he said he could work, so i came along he gave along with me.
123: And I guess I don't know how, I don't know where the fuck is going on, but he was like, he's yeah, bro, we were fucking driving here. He like pointed at the lake and was like, you drink? He asked me if basically if you could drink out of lakes.
123: He's like, I don't know if this fucking guy's been drinking out of lakes this whole time, but I finally told him not to.
Chef Mike: ah but
Chef Mike: Oh my God.
123: That's it. Yeah. basically a recap of of what was going on today which was by far one of the funniest days uh i've ever had at any work
Chef Mike: He's just in the... You catch him in the parking lot, he's like trapping pigeons.
123: dude oh my god dude it was insane insane dude excuse me my god
Chef Mike: He's just got a seagull like, dinner!
Chef Mike: yeah
Chef Mike: that... Lake water?
123: guy's been drinking out of fucking lakes this entire time.
Chef Mike: That's awesome.
123: I guess, hey, whatever. Maybe it looks clean, but I'm like, I don't know. It's not like you can see through the lake.
Chef Mike: Maybe, i mean, ah my my two thoughts are maybe in like Ecuador, you can't drink lake water because people probably shit in it or whatever.
123: So he was just like double checking.
Chef Mike: Yeah, that drinkable water. Like, bro, you have a, you have a faucet.
123: No drink lakes, right? Dude...
Chef Mike: I assume, I guess.
123: like you live outside of boston it's not like you live in like the woods
Chef Mike: And that's ah like, oh, maybe that will know because if you live in Ecuador, you can drink the tap water. It's just if you visit. Yeah, that's wild.
123: so yeah
Chef Mike: That's awesome. Excuse me.
123: excuse i'm with him i'm with him i'm with him okay dude i'm not pressing you
123: ah so
Chef Mike: like his buddy or your buddy prepped him before he's like, hey, you're yeah not supposed to really be here. So just like.
123: Yeah, that's definitely it too.
Chef Mike: Just like, don't be weird. And like, and like, if he asks you why you're here, just say like, you're with me.
123: Yeah, you're with me. You're good. like You're standing like four inches behind him. Of course, I know you're with him.
123: Oh, man. Pretty classic. Pretty classic day. Yeah.
Chef Mike: Love that.
123: It's a long ride too, so just sitting in the Penske truck not saying anything besides the late comment must have been fucking hilarious.
Chef Mike: i'm I'm a little bit over learning Chinese right now, but I'm i still doing it. I thought, again, ah my expectations of how long things take are never correct.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: So in my mind, i was like, it can't be that hard.
123: It's impossible.
Chef Mike: ah
Chef Mike: Yeah, like I get it. I've only been doing it for like three months. so But I'm like... if I ever did try to have a conversation, I can be like, I own two pairs of pants.
Chef Mike: Like I have exactly as much Mandarin to have a conversation with a human being the way that dude was talking to you.
123: Oh my God.
Chef Mike: Like if you wanted to have a genuine connection with somebody, I would, I could like point it up. I don't know. I could point to
Chef Mike: a plant and be like, that that's a tree. they'd be like, yep, that is a tree.
123: Very true.
Chef Mike: I'd be like, I like running. i enjoy running and English books. And I'd be like, cool.
123: We got to take you into the mean streets of Boston to practice this Chinese.
Chef Mike: Yeah, that's true.
123: Or the casino.
Chef Mike: Oh, the casino would be dope because they have to be nice to you.
123: No, I'm talking about other patrons. You have to go right into the ah teeth of it.
Chef Mike: Oh, just straight up.
123: It's just congregating among the Chinese.
Chef Mike: Just at the Pi Gao table saying...
123: Yes.
Chef Mike: Yeah, they'd probably
123: Yes. yeah
123: it's That's how you do it, dude. All the Chinese are racist. Fucking get right into there.
Chef Mike: like it. I can't...
Chef Mike: yeah they'd fuck they'd probably like it ah can you
123: Oh, they would go nuts over it.
Chef Mike: Yeah, they'd be like this white boy said thank you in Chinese.
123: Holy shit.
123: That's why boy said he has two pairs of pants.
Chef Mike: Do you really?
Chef Mike: Oh, what's what's do you? That's... ah gender ma andma That's thing.
123: Oh my God.
123: Dude, you got place an order in Chinese.
Chef Mike: one What I'm most afraid of in Because I can say, like, thank you, be like, sure, sure. Thank you. Is that then they're like, oh, and then they you they say a whole sentence at you.
Chef Mike: And I can't do that.
123: You think all the, uh, You think all the listeners thought we're dead? This episode's gonna randomly just pop up tomorrow and everybody's gonna like, what the fuck?
Chef Mike: I was looking at this analytics and we had like 300 downloads in the last three months, which is of old episodes.
123: What?
Chef Mike: So that's kind of crazy. ah
123: That's fucking cool.
Chef Mike: well, that person who joined the discord, I'm sorry, I don't remember your, your handle was like solid pod.
123: Doke One. cho Shout out Doke One.
Chef Mike: so kwan So that's like somebody who found us from, uh, don't even know.
123: Spread the word.
Chef Mike: We don't have ads anymore.
123: They found us on faggot.com.
Chef Mike: it
Chef Mike: they were re-listening to that one episode of Lemon Party yeah
123: Faggots.com. Yeah, three three real fags that thought their podcast was something. that found It's all right. It's pretty decent decent pod. Check it out.
123: I love the feedback. Solid pod.
Chef Mike: solid pod sick
123: Solid. and Okay. Oh, yeah. If you said good, I would have been a lot happier than solid. It's like when and somebody reaches, like, i'm like, hey, do you want this?
Chef Mike: solids uh
123: And they go, sure. go, well, you know what? You can go fucking kill yourself.
Chef Mike: oh my god that's uh that's my handicap is i don't know what to ever say so i'll say something like sure and people be like are you mad at me
123: Sure. You know what?
123: Yeah, you deserve to get run over by a fucking bus.
123: Sure.
123: Solid pot.
Chef Mike: sure
123: Yeah, everybody download, resubscribe, whatever. Tell your family. Tell your friends.
Chef Mike: I think they probably maybe I yeah could have died or like got ah deported sent back to HIV and then got sent back to Zacatecas.
123: Got HIV.
123: Fucking battling two things. Battling these fucking allergies is crazy up here. And
Chef Mike: Oh yeah, you've been away from the pollen for a while.
123: yeah, I fucking barely can breathe every day.
Chef Mike: Tree pollen. Tree pollen will really do you in.
123: even what Even taking allergy medicine just doesn't do it. My head is just like a fucking yoga ball.
Chef Mike: Yeah, we're in like, maybe not peak pollen, but I don't think all the pine has has come yet, but like it is a thing where I'll just like walk out to my car every morning and it's just has a layer of pollen on it.
123: don't know.
123: Fucking horrific.
Chef Mike: Yeah, it's bad.
123: Battling this. I'm battling the the, yes, always that my black gay thoughts is thinking of black gay thoughts stuff.
Chef Mike: Your gay thoughts.
123: You know what I mean? Like ah black gay thoughts would be vine, thinking of vines.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
123: That's a black gay thought.
Chef Mike: Definitely. And like big, big glasses, big red sunglasses.
123: Yeah, big red sunglasses. What else is a black gate thought? Just like, probably just like, probably just like, just like yeah that in the
Chef Mike: Fun to try.
123: That's definitely that. And then I'm battling my new war EasyPass. Do you know the scam of EasyPass?
Chef Mike: Okay. I have easy pass. Elaborate why it's a scam.
123: Well, I had SunPass.
Chef Mike: Yeah, I'm familiar with sun pass.
123: There's certain bridges over in my area that have to go over.
Chef Mike: Yeah, and they're fucking horse shit. Yeah, but I used to have to.
123: Yeah, so I didn't pay by plate.
Chef Mike: Okay, now go.
123: I paid by plate the other ones, and then this other one, they got me on. It's like $70. I didn't realize it because I was going, yeah, going to my old address.
Chef Mike: Oh,
123: Then I finally got the notice in.
123: And it's... It was like 19 times for over a year.
Chef Mike: oh i was going to say, you probably had charges from when you used to live here that you've never paid.
123: It was...
123: No. No, not even. And then they fucking... $78 became $694. $694.
123: seventy eight dollars became six hundred and ninety four dollars And the they do listen to this.
Chef Mike: No.
123: If you don't pay by a certain date, they then add $40 per time you violated or per toll, whatever. Then if you don't pay, then if you don't pay 15 after 15 more days, they do an additional $35 per transaction.
Chef Mike: You go in person to Auburn.
123: now it's up to $1,053. Okay.
123: one thousand fifty three dollars
Chef Mike: I don't understand how any of this accumulated.
123: No,
Chef Mike: i understand in the past before pay by plate you.
123: this pay by plate.
Chef Mike: okay. So they were sending you invoices and you haven't paid them yet.
123: Because I was at a, because my plates are out of state. So it goes to my old address until it finally bounced back to my new address.
Chef Mike: Oh, you didn't know about the charges.
123: But they didn't,
Chef Mike: You can just go to Auburn, the like actual EasyPass headquarters in the Auburn Mall, and if you go in person to settle, i don't know why, it's just they just, I think, enjoy torturing you.
123: Yeah, that's what it seems like.
Chef Mike: But if you go, specifically if you go in person to the EasyPass headquarters in the Auburn Mall, they will waive all the late fees. You just have to pay the base.
123: Yeah, that's what I want to tell them.
Chef Mike: Yeah, but you have to do that in person. you have to like... I used to...
123: you think I could call them?
Chef Mike: This was before...
123: you think I should call them first or just go in person?
Chef Mike: can call them. I mean, yeah, call them because i this was in the... This was when I was in college. So who knows how much the world's changed in 20 years. But before pay-by-plate, I used to...
Chef Mike: When you actually had to like stop at a toll booth and give them money...
123: Yeah. you have toll tokens?
Chef Mike: We didn't have toll tokens here. You just stopped and you gave them $1.25. ah ah That feels crazy.
123: Yeah, how crazy. is that
Chef Mike: that wasn't long That wasn't long ago.
123: That's predatory. It's predatory, dude.
Chef Mike: i think some places still do that. That wasn't like here. That wasn't that long ago. Anyway, that feels like and makes me sound so old. I'm like, you used to have to stop and give them a dollar. Yeah.
123: Yeah, I know.
Chef Mike: but But sometimes I wouldn't have the money, so I would just go through the easy pass lane and they'd send you a violation. and i was in college, so similar to you, I often just, I mean, I didn't have a mail, like my mailing address was my school and I didn't check my mailbox because who fucking mails a student anything?
123: Correct.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: So I had a bunch that, yeah, I'd like rack up $400 in easy pass charges, but then ah or no, like toll violations.
Chef Mike: But then I'd just drive to the Auburn Mall and pay like, literally it would be like a $700, not $700. I think the worst ever did was like $400. It'd be like a $400 bill that I'd pay, and I'd pay literally like $750 or like $12 because they just charged the base amount if you go there.
123: yes
123: Correct.
Chef Mike: Look into it.
123: I'm going to. I'm going to fight this.
Chef Mike: There's no way they can be like you fucker. You owe us. That's also like at some point that's got a it's a government. So like, what can you do? But that's you. You would never let a company do that. Just be like, yeah, we're just going to charge you. ah We're just going to add $40 to your bill for every day. You don't pay us.
123: Insane, dude. How crazy is that?
Chef Mike: like forever. There's no cap. We'll just, it's a forever charge. Like, like fucking, I also wonder how many, cause like you've out of state plates.
Chef Mike: How, how much outstanding random toll debt do you think the state has issued that, you know, hasn't been paid back?
123: That's true. i'm Very true.
Chef Mike: Probably 10, probably definitely over a million.
123: Yes. Has to be.
Chef Mike: I'd be an interesting number to find out just be like, yeah, this is like, we don't even know if this person's still alive. It's like, I'm not going to go tell the fucking RMV.
123: yeah
Chef Mike: Like, don't know.
123: No, exactly.
Chef Mike: Like, oh, it's like somebody, yeah, it's like my, somebody died.
123: You're exactly right.
Chef Mike: I'm not going to be like, oh, we better make sure that they are not charging him tolls.
123: Exactly, dude.
Chef Mike: I hate that for you, dude.
123: Yeah, no, I'm going to fucking fight it, dude.
Chef Mike: there's no There's no reality where you're not just dealing with some bullshit.
123: That's predatory, dude. That's what I was saying. 35, that's like a mob fucking juice.
123: You just double the fees every single time. You don't pay.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Oh, my God.
123: Gotta love it. Don't you love it?
Chef Mike: It's predatory because like.
Chef Mike: I bet old people like scared old people will pay it.
123: Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Chef Mike: Scared old people have so much money.
123: Yeah, that's what sucks.
Chef Mike: My sister-in-law's mom got, got, got by like a, you know, like an Indian fucking week.
123: No. No.
Chef Mike: Your daughters in jail scam.
123: Jesus Christ. now
Chef Mike: Like recently, like two months ago for 16 grand.
123: jesus thrice
Chef Mike: And like sucks, but it's not like they're destitute either. Like that was like, I don't think inconsequential money to them, but not like didn't ruin their, you know, didn't ruin their lives.
Chef Mike: It's like, Oh fuck.
123: oh yeah that's it
Chef Mike: Oh fuck. I gave, i gave this gamer $16,000. Whoopsie. Yeah, dude.
123: yeah
Chef Mike: whoopsie
123: that sucks dude makes you makes you start thinking about the killdozer you know puts that puts that into perspective
Chef Mike: yeah dude
Chef Mike: Oh, big time.
123: makes ah Makes a lot of sense.
123: Yeah. Anything of... Where does the EasyPass money go is my question.
Chef Mike: Uh...
123: Now there's like... I get the ones like if it's a bridge, but the new ones like you don't even notice on the highway that people have to fucking deal with. Where does that money go?
Chef Mike: Probably gets like embezzled.
123: Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.
Chef Mike: Definitely doesn't go to fixing roads and shit. Cause our bridges around here are like all falling apart.
123: Yes, exactly.
123: You know, you get it.
Chef Mike: Fucking the, the interchange, the, the night 95 mass Pike interchange is is i think it was this past weekend. And then like for three weekends is just closed.
123: Yes, correct.
Chef Mike: They're like, yeah, this is going to fuck up everything, but we need to widen a lane. so you know, widen a lane on a bridge so that it doesn't kill anyone. So.
123: correct
123: You get it.
123: You get it.
Chef Mike: And then last year, they just like shut down the tunnel to the airport for the entire summer. Remember that?
123: now Now look at us.
Chef Mike: Oh, look at us.
123: and Now we're back.
123: now're Now we're fucking here.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Yeah.
123: excellent
Chef Mike: You hear that? Auburn Mall.
123: And you gotta deal with it.
Chef Mike: Easy pass office.
123: You're going to get it. You're in trouble. You're in fucking trouble.
123: Hey, they'll get it. They'll understand.
Chef Mike: They get it. They know.
123: They will get it. Not a bad way. I'm just saying they're going to understand.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
123: Right?
Chef Mike: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's still there.
Chef Mike: EasyPass Customer Service Center, 27 Mid-State Drive, Auburn, Massachusetts.
123: everybody show up.
Chef Mike: Yeah, you got to show up. You got let them know.
123: Everybody show up.
Chef Mike: ah we We want to throw back to an old bit we've done we did once upon a time.
123: and I'd love to.
Chef Mike: EasyPass Customer Service Center in Auburn, Massachusetts has a 2.1 star rating on Google reviews.
123: yes.
Chef Mike: Let's see. Let's read a review or two. I'm not going to pre-screen these, so I'm sorry if they're bad.
123: don Go, go, go off King.
Chef Mike: Steven Evangelist says, i went to... He posted this two weeks... Oh, he's a five-star review. All right. Steven Evangel says, i was at the office today.
Chef Mike: Victoria waited on me and was excellent. Very helpful. Good attitude. And definitely on her A-game. Very pleasant experience. I left with all my issues resolved in a timely manner.
123: Is
Chef Mike: All right, Steven, fuck you.
123: that the right way to say it is she waited on me?
Chef Mike: I thought that was weird too.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: Ooh, this one might be good. ADA from ah week ago. One star review. She says, have been trying to update... online on the phone and no luck.
Chef Mike: And now I'm getting bills with insane late fees. All right, this is you.
123: Okay. Yeah. Okay.
Chef Mike: The bill, the bill just arrived.
123: Now we're talking.
Chef Mike: What is this? How can you do this? I was told by the toll worker, if no one was collecting money, not to worry because they send the bill. I asked, will I get late fees? And she responded, not if you pay right away.
Chef Mike: Well, I just got a $21,
Chef Mike: easy pass toll bill, which is outrageous. Yet I came in with a $50 bill late fee when I'm not late.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: I just got it. This is stealing plain and simple. They can't do this, right? God, are you watching this with a whole bunch of em emojis? She's mad.
123: Holy shit. Yeah, she's pissed.
Chef Mike: Uh, Lankin McAvoy, Gina P. in customer service was so rude, unhelpful, and kept trying to rush me out. Good luck ever getting your refund if you close your account.
Chef Mike: She told me, follow up in six months. If a check hasn't been received, ah they will not give you an estimated time frame anymore.
123: Holy shit. Okay.
Chef Mike: They also took the liberty of removing the cost of the transponder. I didn't return. that no one asked me to return. And I'm really curious how they intend to get me a check without even knowing my new address.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: Hmm.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: Ryan says, I closed my account in September of 2024.
Chef Mike: and followed up every couple of months trying to get an update on my account balance refund. Nobody can provide an update other than that my refund was processed, but MassDOT is several months behind on issuing checks.
Chef Mike: Sounds like you're in for a trip.
123: Yes. Yeah.
Chef Mike: this isn't This isn't a vote of confidence in my mind that going to the EasyPass Service Center is going to resolve your issue right away.
123: No.
123: No, I'm going to have to reach out to a ah state legislator.
Chef Mike: ah went ah went yesterday. This old lady with white hair at window five is is the rude one. Everyone else is nice and very helpful. And I read that how they wrote it, helpful.
Chef Mike: Even if you explain to her that your car needs an external transmitter, she will fight you back like is coming out of her bank account.
123: No.
Chef Mike: No clue why this lady is such a jerk.
123: Oh, God. this isn't this isn't This isn't good.
123: Okay. what what What do we have next?
Chef Mike: Uh, John told a rune. Awesome. Last name.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: Uh, absolutely. The worst public system there is no matter what you can't get anyone to talk to you who doesn't have a computer generated voice.
Chef Mike: The state continues to get worse with regards to customer service. I do still need, do I still need an appointment at the easy pass center? If so, I would think they would make it easy to find and book.
Chef Mike: If not, you would think they would tell you you no longer need it. Who wants to drive to a service center and then be sent home because they don't have an appointment?
123: Alright, what's my strategy going in there?
Chef Mike: I guess you got a call ahead.
123: got
Chef Mike: Now that I'm learning and that appointments are a thing, I should have known that, but I didn't consider it.
123: I thought you could just walk right in. You'd have no problem.
Chef Mike: I would have 100% in your situation. I would have walked right in. with a big old stack of papers and I would have been, you know, like very surly about it.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: I would have been like, you need to, you need to fix this.
123: Oh
Chef Mike: And then this white haired customer service woman at window five would have been like, sir, go home.
123: oh yeah.
Chef Mike: You need an appointment. I'd be like, there's no fucking line here, bitch. And she would have been like, no appointment, no service.
123: That's true. Ton of cash in my hand.
Chef Mike: So Yeah. big
123: yeah
Chef Mike: Maybe honestly, that you you had the fact that you would have cash would really would grease the wheels.
123: Like all I have is this. All I have is this cash.
Chef Mike: Do you accept monopoly money?
123: i need I need this. Or gold. Come in with gold and cash. I'll be fucking good.
Chef Mike: That would actually be such a.
Chef Mike: would I do?
Chef Mike: Somebody tried to pay in like little bits of gold. I'd probably say yes.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: Wouldn't you?
123: Yeah.
123: Hey, you're not wrong, dude.
Chef Mike: ah That'd be baller. Someday. Someday we'll just be able to have a little bag of gold settle our debts.
123: A
123: little bag of gold and silver. some That's not bad. So a bunch of papers, maybe some cash, and then we'll be all good.
Chef Mike: Yeah, and then and then you want to just be a little bit, you know, inconsolable. Not inconsolable, that's the wrong word. You want to be... i i don't think you want to be the most polite. Like, I think a lot of people go into... There's a middle ground. A lot of people go into those situations being like, oh, if they're mad at me...
Chef Mike: they'll make this worse for me. But if you're like very much a pushover, then they'll push you over. Right. Cause they're, they don't want to deal with shit.
123: yes
Chef Mike: So if you're like, I'm happy to stand here unacknowledged for an hour, then they'll fucking let that happen. So don't be that. But then also you can't go in like with the fucking Komatsu full force. Cause obviously then they're like, this dude sucks.
123: yes
Chef Mike: Uh, Sir, um you're going to have to... oh you Sorry, you need to go back and fill out the form D1046. And then they make you go fill out forms or something to be an asshole.
123: I'm going to have to get an appointment.
Chef Mike: yeah
123: If the call doesn't go well. Ah, brother.
Chef Mike: You just have to find a... You've got a beard still. To find a black lady to... to Like a... ah particularly like a thick black lady to flirt with.
123: Where does the beer come in? all Where does the beard come in?
Chef Mike: They just like, ah you're not, you know, they just like guys with beards. it's In my experience, you, well, not that kind of what, not that kind of beard.
123: Ooh.
123: Could be Muslim man.
Chef Mike: Just gotta to be, you know, just,
123: You know you're screwed if you walk in there and it's a black lady.
Chef Mike: No, they're the best.
123: True. I could get along with them.
Chef Mike: I know. I know the stereotype of like a difficult black woman who's got like long nails and she's like slow at typing and shit. And it's funny, but I've never personally experienced it.
Chef Mike: Like I said, I, I, gen I generally seek them out if there's options and you just kind of got rhythm up a little and then it's, so and and they know all the secrets.
123: Yeah. ever
Chef Mike: They know how to make things go faster.
123: Be a little funny.
Chef Mike: Yeah. oh They love it.
123: i could be I could be funny.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
123: Show him the podcast.
Chef Mike: ah Not this. Yeah. Yeah.
123: Show him the pod.
Chef Mike: you know who I am?
123: Yeah. I'm one of the three members of Fat Guy Black.
Chef Mike: I'm the gay black one.
123: Yeah, I'm black faggot.
Chef Mike: I'm the black faggot. Yeah.
123: Please help me Please God help me I need this so fucking bad
Chef Mike: That's a strategy. hadn't considered. If you just go in there and you're like, if
Chef Mike: I have to pay this, if I have to pay these late fees, I'm going to kill myself.
123: This is gonna fucking ruin me Okay I could live with that Jerry
Chef Mike: Yeah, there's no universe where you're paying all of that money.
123: No, I'll cry. I'll just... die That's what I'll do. I'll start fucking losing my shit in front of everybody.
Chef Mike: Yeah, at that point if if you go in correct, like you're not being a dickhead and you have an appointment and you find the black lady and she's like, honey, I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do for you.
123: No!
Chef Mike: You got to pay the you got to pay the late fees. I know. And I it's not me. It's the state. And ah if I could do something about it, I would. But there's nothing I could do. If that happens, then yes, you have to be you.
123: you want me Do something, please.
Chef Mike: You have to cry and you have to grab the pen and put it it at your neck like you're going to kill yourself.
123: Do something.
123: Do something.
Chef Mike: Piss yourself, maybe.
123: Just start mumbling under my breath. Steven. Steven Pettico is right. Steven. Steven Pettico He knew what he's doing. It was this.
123: This is the problem. This is why he did it.
Chef Mike: awesome I'll show them. I'll show them all.
123: Fuck, dude. Yeah, I'm going to do that. I'm going to lose my mind. I'm the black faggot. You know me.
123: You know me, bitch.
123: lee What am I supposed to do about that? you know I'm going to fight. I'm going to do my best. Everybody can calm down. They know I'm going to try hard.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
123: I don't give up for the city.
Chef Mike: No, not for this. There's like so many, I guess
Chef Mike: and because it's an out of state plate, but I'm like, if you were in state before you just arbitrarily.
123: That gives me more reason. I'd be like, I didn't even fucking get
Chef Mike: Yeah, there's like your situation cannot be unique to you. Like, oh, you are mailing this to an out of state mailing address. You don't know. Like who the fuck knows?
123: That's true.
Chef Mike: um They have to have a way of dealing with this.
123: The person that was paying it died. I can say that.
Chef Mike: You could say that the transponder got stolen.
123: Oh, what if I hit him with the, uh, what if I do the, I paid this one, then I paid my other ones immediately. And then I got this text that I had to pay the easy pass and I paid it through text. And now I got this now I'm confused.
Chef Mike: Yeah. They'd be like, oh, that's a scam.
123: I'll say that they go.
Chef Mike: You got scammed, sugar.
123: This guy fucking fell for the skin. We got to help him out.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Yeah. They got to have, again, yeah, they, like, that shit happens. They got to have a way to deal with it. ah my My best friend was moving to, ah back in urban times, was moving to Maine, and his girlfriend at the time got a got us all Patriots tickets.
123: Yeah. Okay.
Chef Mike: as like a going away thing.
123: Oh,
Chef Mike: And, uh, and we get there and she has like, but a will call and she has like a piece of paper. She printed out.
Chef Mike: No one, you'd never assume you need to ask somebody like, Hey, can we see the tickets beforehand though?
123: man. Oh, no.
Chef Mike: But she has like a piece of paper printed out. That's like, just got a code on it. And the guy will calls like, this isn't a ticket.
123: ah
Chef Mike: And she's like, what? she's like, this is a scam. And ah yeah, she got scammed. They were like, we set aside ah couple of rows.
Chef Mike: Like, you know, that we keep even if the game sells out, we set these rows aside for people like you who get scammed so you can pay, you can buy the seats.
Chef Mike: So it's still like $200 a seat, but we were able to go to the game.
123: Perfect.
Chef Mike: But then we asked her like, what did you do? And she was like, Oh, well it was a guy in San Diego and he said he had season tickets, but he was away so he couldn't use them.
Chef Mike: um and, and he was, he was in a,
123: Classic.
Chef Mike: He was in the middle of getting divorced from his wife, so he couldn't so he couldn't have money going in and out of his bank account, so he needed he needed me to pay him in Visa gift cards.
123: Oh, yes. Yes.
123: yeah
123: Yes.
Chef Mike: And I was like, i was like yeah how the fuck did none of that set off a red flag?
123: God, you stupid fucking bitch.
Chef Mike: yeah i mean, basically.
123: Oh my God.
Chef Mike: But anyway, the point of that story was to say that the the Gillette Stadium sets aside ah certain amount of seats just so that people who got scammed can still see the game.
123: Yeah.
Chef Mike: Not for free, but can still see it. So you got to figure if you pull that card, the DMV is like, yeah, shit, we know people get scammed. and So like, yeah, we'll work with you on that.
123: and last That was my last monies from my podcast.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
123: I spent it on the fucking text.
Chef Mike: yeah i would be I mean, hu if you were just unwilling to accept ration or reason when you when you were like, i paid I paid on this text message.
123: Yes.
Chef Mike: I clicked the link and I paid. It was like crazy.
123: Yeah.
Chef Mike: <unk> Like, oh, that's a scam, sir. you yeah Those are scams. That's not us. And you were like, what you mean? It's not you. It says RMV.
123: It says it right there, you dumb bitch.
Chef Mike: They're like, yeah, that's like a that's like a scam people just send. We don't ever collect payment via text. And you're like, well, who collected the money? You collected that.
123: ah
Chef Mike: You have the money. You have it. It's not i felt so my fault that you lost the money that I paid you, but I paid it.
123: I paid you.
123: I paid you $85,000.
Chef Mike: And they were like, no, you
123: That's all my fucking money.
Chef Mike: you you paid a scammer. You didn't pay us. Who's the scammer? You're the scammer? You're scamming me, telling me you didn't take my money, and you did.
123: they would have to fucking They would have to fucking let me...
Chef Mike: Yeah, if you just like didn't give them an inch of understanding and were like, I'm going to call my lawyer. You're stealing from me right now.
Chef Mike: They'd have to.
123: got yeah
Chef Mike: If nothing else, they'll just get you out of there.
123: ah They're going to help me. They're going to do it. If not, I'm going to lose my fucking shit.
Chef Mike: Which is also, i mean, either way, it's ah it's a fucking, it'll be awesome.
123: You pay now. No, you pay.
Chef Mike: You pay me.
123: I pay I pay you. You I pay you. tax ah pay you
Chef Mike: Bring your buddy's Ecuadorian friend with you.
123: ah Oh, yes.
Chef Mike: have him Have him lead.
123: Yes. He'll be behind me the whole time. I'm with him.
123: ah pay you.
123: go i'll just do that. Just white guy, but has Chinese voice for so it has a crazy Chinese voice. No, I pay you. you kidding? I pay you.
123: and not pay you.
123: pointing at my phone the whole time.
Chef Mike: Show them you just pull up your, pull up Bank of America app and just show them random things.
123: Yes.
Chef Mike: Look.
123: just Just me paying a text that just says EasyPass is just one one line text.
Chef Mike: ah So this says you spent $156 at Big Y.
Chef Mike: ah pay you
123: Yeah, I pay. i pay you.
123: You pay me.
123: ah Ecuadorian dude. That dude fucking rocks. He's going to be on the podcast.
Chef Mike: Hell yeah.
123: Let's get him on the fucking pod.
Chef Mike: um Tell us about lake water.
123: Yeah. About drinking lake water.
Chef Mike: All the good. Yeah. Where's the good water at? He knows.
123: I pay you. You pay me. Yep. It's going to happen. Get ready, folks.
123: Oh, man. Watch Jackie Brown. You see that movie?
Chef Mike: i don't think so.
123: No. A Tarantino movie.
Chef Mike: Wait, is it Tarantino movies?
123: Yeah, a lot of people are saying it's, top you know, top five of their Tarantino. It was a good movie overall. lot of, obviously, random people getting shot. Robert De Niro was surprisingly in it.
Chef Mike: Okay.
123: He had a... I guess he had a lot of screen time, but his role was like...
123: insignificant till the end I wish it was more more involved Samuel Jackson led it so very good seems like Tarantino just has like his favorite act like his favorite like he loves Samuel Jackson and
Chef Mike: Hmm.
Chef Mike: Naturally. Somehow I missed that one among the...
Chef Mike: oh yeah.
123: so it was good I liked it a lot very good
Chef Mike: All right. I don't know how I missed that among movie Tarantino movies just didn't never hit my radar.
123: Oh, here's Colt.
123: Colt42502 on Instagram. He eats crazy stuff. He lives in the middle of nowhere. where We've talked about him before. He has his bare legs shown under a tray table with a microwavable chicken pot pie and a pink lemonade giant brisk.
Chef Mike: cool
123: I didn't think they still made those. The other day, he just had his toes out under his plate.
Chef Mike: Just
123: Just so weird.
Chef Mike: he's He's testing the waters, he knows He sees the foot comments that people make in his foot posts And he's like, alright, let's see
123: Oh my god.
123: He's making one of those frozen chicken Alfredo out of a bag last night on a nonstick pen just using a metal spatula just scraping the nonstick right into it.
123: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Chef Mike: so much it's like the ah food i'm not trying to be classist or anything okay like food that you like microwave in a plastic bag or you put a plastic bag in boiling water and that's how the food is made don't eat that that can't be good
123: you can't
123: no not good let's see here there
123: um
123: Those are the Walmart in a plastic container from like the Walmart bakery. Green sugar cookies with pink frosting as in watermelon. I can't.
123: This guy's stomach is nuts. This is the one with his toes out. I just sort of cooked delicious dinner. These are called cabbage pockets.
123: They're really good.
123: and have andberg
Chef Mike: Hangarber helper.
123: It's my sister. She cooked a hamburger. and publish It's cool. Really awesome. So good. So good. I use the bathroom with my sister.
Chef Mike: My nephew watches, but never goes.
123: This is the crazy thing. Wow. A tropical Skittles drink. Ooh, yummy. It's a blue...
Chef Mike: I saw that. Like what the.
123: Completely blue fucking drink, dude.
Chef Mike: in
123: Yes.
Chef Mike: It's like the weirdest looking. Like when they made when they when they made like the crystal light beverage, like not a powder, but they made it in an actual beverage form and the bottle looked it just like had the aura of like something you find in your mom's fridge.
123: Yes.
123: Oh my God.
Chef Mike: That Skittles flavored drink. i was like, who made this? This was like wasn't even made by Skittles.
123: It's definitely not, and it's definitely just some knockoff, but it looks like it's in like a bottle of like bubbles for kids.
Chef Mike: Yes.
123: and Not even in a soda or drink bottle.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Chef Mike: I
123: Ooh, here's some Skittles. Yummy. yummy Yeah, that guy touches kids. Sorry, guys. He was sleeping. He's like definitely in his, I don't know. Is he in his 30s or in his mid 20s?
Chef Mike: i think mentally he's 12 or 13.
123: Oh, yeah. man
Chef Mike: Yeah.
123: Yeah. But up until like last month, he was sharing a bedroom with like his adult nephew.
Chef Mike: yeah
123: And now he's finally not. You can't tell me nothing is not going on in there.
123: Something we so yummy.
Chef Mike: ah Yummy.
123: So yummy. So good. Oh, here are my toes. God, Jesus, that man.
123: Chicken Alfredo out of a bag was nuts.
123: Scratching up the pan. what Anybody hop in the Discord if you use nonstick pan still. We need ah testimony.
123: Maybe we'll all go back to nonstick. And if if you prove, if you give a good enough reasoning of why, then we will.
Chef Mike: There's...
Chef Mike: it's It's just... i'm not I'm not disagreeing that they're good in the sense that they like work as expected.
Chef Mike: Like, right? Like they're a fresh nonstick pan.
123: Hey, I make scrambled eggs like it's not on steel right now.
Chef Mike: Yeah, really great for making an egg. But even if you're making other stuff, they work. But after everything you know about them, like it's one of those things that's just like ways that our society has failed.
Chef Mike: Where it's like these are these are proven to fuck you up.
123: Yes, correct. You get cancer. Allegedly.
Chef Mike: Proven. And they're like and it's like, oh, Well, as long as you don't scrape up the nonstick, it's fine. And it's like, everyone does that though.
123: You have to.
Chef Mike: Uh, and they're like, Oh, well shit. Um, they should be illegal, but it's like, obviously
123: and
123: So yummy.
Chef Mike: ah big enough. And that's the other thing is like, what, what is the nonstick pan industry? Like between, all the people who make pans and if you couldn't sell nonstick pans anymore, someone or collectively a bunch of companies would lose like what a billion dollars or something.
123: Yes, absolutely.
Chef Mike: And that's like, and that's worth being like everyone who you, you know, and that's worth being like a bunch of people are going to get cancer. Not everyone. But like, that's crazy to me that we, and that's like a calculation that we make as a country all the time.
123: Not going to flex, but like I said, eggs, stainless steel for me, no problem. It's like a nonstick.
Chef Mike: Yep. Once you get, once you get the good, like, I don't even know what it's called, like oxide layer on the, on the stainless steel.
123: Everything.
123: Yes.
Chef Mike: And it takes a little practice to like, you know, not fuck it up. But once you do, it's just as good.
123: I just, I guess it's different, but I just, I got the classic stove top where just numbers and, uh, and like a glass top and I just know what number to put it on.
Chef Mike: Mm-hmm.
123: And then I don't even know what, how long I just put my hand over. I go, that seems hot enough. And then it works every time.
Chef Mike: hu
123: That's all. That's literally it.
123: And they fucking rock, but if someone can convince us enough, way wo ah we only we're we're loyal to listeners, so we will we'll go out on the shield and just go get go big in the nonstick now. I'll go get the Walmart mean, it's just from Walmart. Yes. Yes.
123: brandon is just from waltmart
Chef Mike: There's no company to complain to when it gives you...
123: yeah
Chef Mike: like, oh, the yeah, that's not...
123: That's who the biggest distributors are, though. Honestly, it's just Walmart brands and Target brands and shit like that. That's who sells them.
123: People buy them. Not going to say who buys them.
123: It was a black doctor.
Chef Mike: Who's a black doctor?
123: I'd say the blacks are number one in buying them. Ecuadorians and Hispanics number two. Number three, I don't know about the Chinese. I assume they also do because they don't care about anything.
123: Then ah in fourth place is whites. And then everybody else just kind of goes throughout after.
Chef Mike: there's a fun experiment you can do at home if you don't believe that your nonstick pan is unhealthy which is you have to get a bird you have to get a bird and then you just no you have to get a live bird like a canary or a parakeet and then you just put your nonstick pan on the burner without any food in it on high
123: A bird?
123: Okay.
123: okay
123: Yes.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: And then ah eventually the bird will die.
123: Jesus Christ.
Chef Mike: because heating Because heating the pan without anything in it.
123: Where did you see this?
Chef Mike: Off gases so much. Like causes it to release so much. Fucking fluorine gas that it kills. Like it'll like ah but something as small as a bird in your house. It'll kill it.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: So you're inhaling that too. You're just bigger. So it doesn't kill you.
123: Correct.
Chef Mike: But yeah, some of them have warnings on them, actually, that are like, do not use this pan if you have birds in your house.
123: Okay. That's insane.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
123: And black people are just fucking cooking pancakes and that thing.
Chef Mike: Well, they don't have birds in their house.
123: Yeah, that's true. Okay.
Chef Mike: Nonstead cookware containing polytetrafluoroethylene, P-A-T-F-E, like Teflon, is deadly to birds if overheated.
123: What about the ones that say like that doesn't contain the PFAs?
Chef Mike: The ceramic ones? Yeah, I don't know why those ones are bad. like the like Like, I have to figure...
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: Well, don't actually, because it probably is fucked up. or like, Hexaclad or whatever, where they show they show the people in the commercials, like, fucking scraping a metal spatula against it, and it's, like, not an issue.
123: Yes. Are those bad?
123: Correct.
Chef Mike: Maybe that's something different, and it's not... like Somebody's got a so he's gotta to do a thing on that too. Because if those are safe, then I'm down.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: But if it's just like a different chemical that no one's proven is is harmful yet, but it but definitely is,
123: Yes.
Chef Mike: then fuck that.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: Yeah, we'll look into that for next week.
123: Okay.
Chef Mike: We'll look into whether Hexacloud is good for you. is good for you
123: Okay. I don't think it's going to be.
Chef Mike: No, something tells me like there's some things that are too good to be true. Right.
123: Yes.
Chef Mike: And, uh, a material that nothing sticks to that also, ah it isn't harmful to you at all. Feels like one of those things where you're like, yeah, you're it's, it's probably God's way of like being like, don't be an asshole or like you're choosing,
Chef Mike: ah
123: Hexaclad seems sketchy. that's why i why That's why I didn't buy those in the first place.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
123: I just wanted to write to stainless steel.
Chef Mike: You're choosing ah known health, like harm to your health and like the limited time you have on earth because it's too annoying to clean a pan after you cook an egg.
123: Correct.
Chef Mike: That's probably like one of those life tests.
123: Or just learn learn how metal works.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Yeah.
123: Alright, let's play some PUBG and hop off here. Alright, well, see you later, everybody.
Chef Mike: All right. Hell yeah.
Chef Mike: Goodbye.
