Transcript
Chef Mike: What up?
Black Faggot: ah Paul got in his his last big video real quick.
Chef Mike: Yeah, I got to pause recording so Paul can finish TikTok video.
Black Faggot: Gotta get one more.
whitekanyewest: Everybody can hear me breathing.
Black Faggot: You gotta get one more video in.
Chef Mike: ah ah and I think your game's fine now.
Black Faggot: Yeah, you're good. Hell yeah, we're back. I don't know.
Chef Mike: We're back, everyone. All three of us.
Black Faggot: off of a hot streak of PUBG last night, a four-game win.
whitekanyewest: Thank you.
Chef Mike: Big wins for probably four out of like what seven.
Black Faggot: Big. We're not...
Black Faggot: Yeah, we're not playing right now, but last night I had to highlight that, that we won four times.
Chef Mike: Yeah, we had a great all time night.
Black Faggot: Fucking huge. Shout-out to Skinny Flex.
Chef Mike: Skinny flex.
Black Faggot: What's that ah what's that ah Dave Blunt's Kanye song called that they just dropped?
Chef Mike: ah Paul would know.
whitekanyewest: nope the only one i'm hip to right now is the uh last couple songs we put out
Black Faggot: is that?
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Black Faggot: What is that?
Chef Mike: Do you, were could you like sing a couple, maybe like the chorus for us so we would be able to tell what you're talking about?
Black Faggot: It was the hot chorus.
whitekanyewest: yeah probably not cuck is the upcoming studio album by kainé west
Black Faggot: Damn.
Black Faggot: Is he?
Chef Mike: Uh, okay. Well, that's cool.
whitekanyewest: Is Dave Bluntz the really fat guy can't get out of the chair? Yeah, 600 pounds. Yeah.
Chef Mike: Yeah, that guy.
Black Faggot: Yeah, Hitler would have burned him alive.
whitekanyewest: yeah
Black Faggot: Hitler would have thrown him right in the XL oven.
Chef Mike: i don't know. Probably takes a lot of fuel to burn 600 pounds.
Black Faggot: Oh, we're...
Black Faggot: So, I did settle the easy pass debate. I did get off scot-free.
Chef Mike: Oh yeah. Uh, uh, what?
Black Faggot: Well, i did have to pay, but i did it was a reasonable amount.
Chef Mike: How much of the fine did you have to pay any of the fine or, or was it all? Did they get rid of all of it?
Black Faggot: I paid like $180. that's just it Yeah, I paid $184 of $1,053.
whitekanyewest: You're just a touch quiet there, brother.
Chef Mike: Total?
Black Faggot: So I'll
Black Faggot: take that as big win. That's
Chef Mike: Yeah, it's fine. I'll fix it in post.
Black Faggot: win in my book. Fuck.
Black Faggot: so i'll take that as a big win
Chef Mike: Yeah, that's a win. That's, that's a come up for sure.
Black Faggot: that's a win in my book
Chef Mike: What did you do? Did you, yeah did you have to sweet talk any black ladies or was it just.
Black Faggot: I was a definitely just a regular dude, unfortunately. Didn't have to go in person, just made the call and they and they made it happen after me waiting for fucking like 40 minutes on the phone.
Black Faggot: But it's a win everybody hold your horses, don't go down there and and try to try to do anything that I wouldn't do, you know?
Chef Mike: All right.
Chef Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep the Komatsu in the garage. Uh... Alright, that's cool you don't have to go down there anymore.
Black Faggot: Yeah, Patrick, she doesn't have to go down there. We're good.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Black Faggot: So it's a win-win in my book.
Chef Mike: Yep.
Chef Mike: Well, since we're doing follow-ups, I was joking about investigating whether ceramic pans will also kill your bird.
Black Faggot: Yeah.
Chef Mike: But I did look it up, and they don't.
whitekanyewest: Hmm.
Black Faggot: So they're safe.
Chef Mike: Uh... Ceramic pans don't have whatever the fluorine compounds in it that are in like nonstick pans, like a Teflon pan, that if you heat too high, which is like, they say like overheat, but it's like 500 degrees, which like people cook at that temperature for sure.
Black Faggot: Totally, by accident.
Chef Mike: ah ah Would kill your bird if you had a bird in your house. But ceramic pans, then they're like, are ceramic pans safe then? And it's like, well...
Black Faggot: Yeah, that's not
Chef Mike: they don't have They don't have Teflon in them, but all the ceramics are proprietary. So like, meh. And I have owned ceramic pans before, and they're dope for like a month, and then they suck.
Black Faggot: good. Yep, sounds about right.
Chef Mike: Which just means whatever whatever the nonstick on them is comes off in your food for after a while. Like, yeah, that's the question.
Black Faggot: Well, with my ceramic that I had, i
Chef Mike: Can you eat it?
Black Faggot: it's ah and left it on there too long one time. Then i was like, I'm never using these again. Because then it was like black.
Chef Mike: Oh yeah.
Black Faggot: hows I was like, God, that ain't good.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Why did this white ceramic turn turn like piss yellow?
Black Faggot: you can
Black Faggot: Yeah, exactly.
Chef Mike: That's probably good. All right. Hell yeah. Pan talk.
Black Faggot: yeah this is Yeah, this is Michael James Ceramic Unique. Ceramic Unique, they're completely fine. They use, they're safe.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Black Faggot: Keep using them. I put but my Yankees fitted 7 1 4th on my ceramic pan. is really It's really safe.
Black Faggot: It heats it up nice.
Black Faggot: Yeah.
whitekanyewest: I don't even believe that. I don't believe it does anything.
Chef Mike: What? You don't believe it's bad for you or you don't believe?
whitekanyewest: I don't believe in Teflon.
Chef Mike: Oh yeah. I mean, it works, but it's bad.
Black Faggot: test one definitely
Chef Mike: It's definitely bad for you.
whitekanyewest: Been eating off Teflon pans for 33 years and look at me, I'm fine.
Black Faggot: goes right to your balls yeah
whitekanyewest: The more scratched up, the better. i usually pre-scratch them.
Black Faggot: yeah
Chef Mike: Sure. Yeah.
Black Faggot: What you want to do is you heat it up 500 degrees, and then you put your fitted on it. Then your fitted gets hot. You put that back on your head.
Black Faggot: Then you get it scratched up again. What are you putting on there to scratch it?
whitekanyewest: Metal utensils.
Black Faggot: Yeah.
Chef Mike: Yeah, you just get the spatula in there, go go to town.
Black Faggot: Totally. Totally.
Black Faggot: oddudly
whitekanyewest: but I throw it through the
whitekanyewest: the dishwasher.
Black Faggot: You put it the dishwasher after.
whitekanyewest: Pots and pans setting.
Chef Mike: Wait, are you not supposed to put those in the dishwasher?
Black Faggot: Dude, you know what? You know what goes on at dishwash at like Indian people's houses. The dishwasher is just storage.
Chef Mike: Sure.
Black Faggot: And you know what? At the other folks' house, they just use paper plates, so there's not even dish there's no need for the dishwasher.
Chef Mike: I mean, i want to hate, but white people just put their plates on the floor and let the dog clean it.
Black Faggot: Yeah,
Chef Mike: So, uh, we're none of us, none of us have clean hands, I guess is what I'm saying.
Black Faggot: might people is White people just eat over the sink so they don't even need them at all. They just need cups.
Black Faggot: And then black people just have like like the XL size like sun kissed on the counter that they don't they don't need cups too much.
Chef Mike: Yes.
Black Faggot: what's the the What's the super sugary iced tea?
whitekanyewest: you
Black Faggot: Not the Arizona, but the other one that would come in like that.
Chef Mike: Brisk? Brisk.
Black Faggot: Yeah.
Chef Mike: Yeah, they got the giant, like the the three liter bottle of brisk.
Black Faggot: Yeah, they keep brisket business, dude. They keep brisket big business. They have like the pink brisk. pink risk
Chef Mike: Oh yeah, the like the strawberry watermelon flavor one.
Black Faggot: Strawberry wine.
Chef Mike: It's good one.
Black Faggot: Yeah, exactly. Put that on a ceramic pan. That probably will burn the pan in half.
Chef Mike: Just eats through it.
Black Faggot: So, yeah, about to start vaping. I'm about to get one of those fucking vapes with the screen on it. Just end everything.
whitekanyewest: Yeah, get a geek bar, bro.
Chef Mike: yeah
Black Faggot: Yeah.
Black Faggot: You guys think I should get into that?
whitekanyewest: Couple geek bars.
Chef Mike: ah like there's that Those can't be bad for you.
Black Faggot: That might go right to my balls too.
whitekanyewest: you're done having kids, who cares?
Black Faggot: True. What if I get the geek bar and then I just start smoking the, the, the weed that comes in like a Scooby-Doo head.
Black Faggot: Get that, get that half ounce and a Scooby-Doo a head.
Black Faggot: They come in fucking cereal boxes and action figures come with weed now. It's a new craze. Everybody's spraying weed. Be safe out there. Don't get the sprayed weed.
Chef Mike: What do they spray it with?
Black Faggot: think just artificial terpenes. And like, you know, the mass public doesn't know anything about it.
Chef Mike: Oh, dude. Yeah, I guess probably not sprayed. I think it's probably a thing with... like It wasn't distillate, though. But I was at a fucking... I was at a barbecue on Sunday.
Black Faggot: Hell yeah.
Chef Mike: and somebody was passing around a joint that was like... Fucking... Graper than like a fucking
Black Faggot: Oh, man.
Chef Mike: blunt rap, you know, like something like something. were like oh yeah, this is that new, this is that new, like, i don't remember what they called it, like Jeter's or something.
Black Faggot: Oh, yeah, of course. Yep.
Chef Mike: That clearly was just like pumped full of some artificial
Black Faggot: It's just sprayed.
Chef Mike: ah flavor.
Black Faggot: People want the sprayed weed. That's what it is right there, dude. Jeter would be, Jeter's would be people that are doing it. It's
whitekanyewest: The fuck is Jeter's?
Black Faggot: just a weed, big weed brand.
whitekanyewest: Huh.
Black Faggot: That's that sprayed herb, bro.
Black Faggot: You were at the barbecue and they were passing around a grapefruit. You were making this up. This is a rigged story.
whitekanyewest: Did you hit it?
Chef Mike: No, I don't. No. One, no. Two, if they're like, yeah, it's got, it's like, it's like extra watermelon flavored. It doesn't taste like weed anymore. I'd be like, what the fuck? Like what?
Black Faggot: Yo, who invited bro? Yo, who invited bro? He's not hitting this.
whitekanyewest: Yeah, you should have hit it, dude, just for research purposes.
Black Faggot: That's you.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Black Faggot: Hey, yo, whose man is this in the tangerine collared shirt? He's got mad tangerines on it. He's not hitting this. but My man's got the tangerine on his shirt. He's walking around.
whitekanyewest: What is quad infused pre-roll with THC diamonds, liquid diamonds?
Black Faggot: That sounds retarded.
whitekanyewest: THCA, rosin, terpenes, and Keef.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Chef Mike: I don't think it was F or maybe it was.
whitekanyewest: Yeah. They got grapefruit, Romulan, apples and bananas, fire OG, tropicali, Mai Tai, milkman, peaches, Maui Waui, mimosa, pink lemon, gelato, Bubba G.
Chef Mike: all right. But what's the point of what,
Black Faggot: good.
whitekanyewest: Granddaddy perp.
Chef Mike: What even strain it is if you're just going to pump it with like with like apple pie flavored like fake flavors.
Black Faggot: brother. That's how it goes. They're taking after brisks fucking steps. They know what to do. Pump that shit full of flavor.
whitekanyewest: They
Chef Mike: Yeah, it's not. I mean, they're definitely taken after just like. Eat bars and shit and like that, that, that concept of just like having something that tastes like mango strawberry.
Black Faggot: yeah just get Can you just get a menthol geek bar? Do those exist?
whitekanyewest: they do
Chef Mike: probably
Black Faggot: I would crush that.
Chef Mike: mint yeah those are pretty tight
Black Faggot: Nah, they need to bring back the blue e-cig where it's like shaped like a cigarette. Those are tight.
whitekanyewest: Yep. I used to destroy them because I had open bottles with them.
Black Faggot: Those rocks. I would usually probably use it within the hour that I got it. big What the fuck?
whitekanyewest: Yeah.
Black Faggot: That just be sucking plastic.
whitekanyewest: I'd use it at one in one night probably and I would open a bunch of beer bottles with it.
Black Faggot: Oh, yeah.
whitekanyewest: By the morning I'd wake up, fucking filter a thing on it would just be destroyed.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Chef Mike: That, uh, security manager that we worked with at our old job, he used to just, he he came to visit in Vegas once and was like ripping through two of those a day.
Black Faggot: Hell yeah, just smoke a cigarette.
whitekanyewest: Yeah, really.
Black Faggot: Get the tobacco one or with the menthol one if they didn't have the menthol. Shits are bomb. Let's bring those back.
Chef Mike: Yeah, dude.
Black Faggot: Those are original geek bar.
Chef Mike: You can just hit those wherever. Hit those in the Uber.
Black Faggot: yeah
Chef Mike: Hit those during class.
Black Faggot: They just give it you away. Blue light just pops up in the background as you inhale it.
Chef Mike: ah seeing people I've seen people get away with it on planes, and I've seen people get not away with it on planes. I've seen people think they got away with it on planes, and then...
Chef Mike: When the plane lands, they don't let anybody off. And then the state police come on and drag the person off for fucking vaping on a plane.
Black Faggot: Vapes on a plane, baby.
Black Faggot: I'm here, bro.
Black Faggot: You know what is craziest take I heard on the radio? Is that the most of these guys on the show, they use a top rack to cut the hot dogs on the grill.
Chef Mike: Oh, because they don't want like char marks on it or whatever.
Black Faggot: I don't know. What are you doing? Just put that put that shit on top of fire and then fucking take off.
Chef Mike: Yeah, I would. I definitely prefer it on. Yeah, because then you're getting some like color and like a little bit of char on it. I think there's probably.
Black Faggot: Put the fucking hot dog on the fire, forget about it, and then go get him.
Chef Mike: Yeah, if you're putting on the top rack, you also might as well just fucking microwave them.
Black Faggot: It's just microwave.
Chef Mike: Yeah, at that point.
Black Faggot: Just eat baloney dogs, bro.
Chef Mike: Bob, did you top bra top rack the hot dogs?
Black Faggot: Sorry. Had to blow my nose.
whitekanyewest: No, I don't have a top rack, bro. I've got a charcoal grill.
Black Faggot: Light that shit on fire. Throw the lighter fluid on the hot dogs.
Chef Mike: Yeah, get a little bit on the hot dogs. It burns off.
whitekanyewest: no water, no, no lighter fluid involved.
Chef Mike: It burns off.
Black Faggot: Burned off.
Black Faggot: All on it. but Put bug spray and lighter fluid to get the flame going.
whitekanyewest: Never used lighter fluid a day in my life.
Black Faggot: Use axe. Use axe and a lighter.
whitekanyewest: Just use a little chimney.
Black Faggot: Put the dogs on the fire. Get the fire going. Fuck off.
Chef Mike: The fries in the bag.
whitekanyewest: Why, who's a top-breaker?
Black Faggot: a
Chef Mike: So many people.
Black Faggot: local sports, mean they don't get in any shout outs. Local sports radio, they got to give us a shout out before give it. We're a bigger show.
Chef Mike: ah
Black Faggot: Make $400,000 Yeah. Yeah.
Black Faggot: a year
Chef Mike: Only been to seven countries.
Black Faggot: yeah know
Black Faggot: Not an alcoholic. I just drink all day. This is my guy who was buying a geek bar, six things of Zin, and red Red Man today.
Chef Mike: Oh.
Black Faggot: How fucking awesome is that?
Chef Mike: the
whitekanyewest: Wow.
Black Faggot: Hell yeah, powerful.
Chef Mike: That's like not, that's not like a weak supply either. That's like going through that quick.
Black Faggot: Just get the patch, bro.
Black Faggot: Just get the nicotine patch on your arm.
Chef Mike: No, keep using Zins. Keep, don't know what you call it. Keep, keep Zinning.
whitekanyewest: Keeps it in. I just don't even think any of this shit's actually addictive.
Chef Mike: Keep on Zenit.
Chef Mike: Wait, you don't think any of it's actually addictive?
whitekanyewest: No.
Black Faggot: Has to be.
whitekanyewest: No.
Chef Mike: I mean, the parking lot of the gym I go to is littered with Zen. There's no way it's not addictive.
whitekanyewest: Just go on and off at all, like whenever you want.
Black Faggot: That's you. Other people are hooked, dude.
Chef Mike: I mean, yeah, I spent like 12 years quitting cigarettes.
Black Faggot: Nicotine. Toppest thing to get off of.
whitekanyewest: smoke cigarettes through like two weeks of cigarettes and then just stop, not do it for, don't know, 10 years. and then I'll just light one up, chief down real quick.
Chef Mike: a
Black Faggot: Hell yeah. yeah
Black Faggot: That game is up dude.
Chef Mike: ah
Black Faggot: All right, that's the show. Good night, guys.
Black Faggot: Hell yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think you could ever be addicted to cigarettes. It chemically is. Oh, yeah.
whitekanyewest: i don't think I just don't think that nicotine is the addicting thing.
Chef Mike: Oh, yeah.
Black Faggot: it ah chemically is
whitekanyewest: i don't think so, dude.
Black Faggot: oh yeah
whitekanyewest: I think it's whatever else they add to it to make it addictive because um telling I'm telling you right now, dude, nicotine pouches are not addicting.
Chef Mike: That's the nicotine.
Black Faggot: ah
Black Faggot: Nicotine. Dude, it has to be. People like sleep with them in.
whitekanyewest: It's because they're weak.
Black Faggot: Are vapes ah not addictive?
Chef Mike: That's like, oh, I could stop using these anytime. I just don't want to. I like them, and i'm not I'm not addicted, so I don't need to stop.
Black Faggot: You have a problem. i don't know have ah You have a problem. You have a problem with me.
Black Faggot: That's so fucking funny.
Black Faggot: Yeah, we should have never had never invaded Iraq. No. Oh,
Chef Mike: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. ah
whitekanyewest: Did you guys ever watch that TV show Review?
Black Faggot: my God.
whitekanyewest: Review of the Week, maybe it was called, or just Review?
Chef Mike: I don't think so.
whitekanyewest: was the guy who was going to review cocaine.
Black Faggot: oh mike yeah
Chef Mike: Oh, I do. I know what you're talking about. I don't, I don't think i ever watched it though.
whitekanyewest: TV your show is funny as fuck, but he's like, I do not like this cocaine, and then later on in the show, he's just little ripping it
whitekanyewest: That's going to be me. I'm going to review nicotine pouches.
Black Faggot: It'll
Chef Mike: yeah
Black Faggot: be eight empty Zin cartridges under your your driver's seat. Yeah, hated them. they These aren't good.
whitekanyewest: These things stink.
Chef Mike: I know what you're thinking. I'm not addicted.
Black Faggot: Yeah, where I could get it.
Chef Mike: I like them. I like them and they help me like focus in the morning and they help me like not feel so stressed, but I'm not addicted.
Black Faggot: Oh, my God.
Chef Mike: I'm not addicted to them and I could stop anytime, but I don't want to because I'm not drinking coffee anymore and these are helping. So like, I don't need to, but I'm not addicted.
whitekanyewest: ah That's addicting. It's all coffee is addicting.
Black Faggot: Yeah, man, I found this article, man, and it was, nicotine actually is like the most powerful thing you could put in your body, man, and it's good for you. ah I found one guy on Reddit 12 years ago, he posted, he's like, hey, OP, actually, nicotine is the best chemical you could possibly have in your body.
Black Faggot: And yeah, man. Yeah.
whitekanyewest: I'm the Zen guy. and I think I can do a hundred Zen pouches today. i'm the Zen guy's manager.
Black Faggot: Yeah, I'm the Zin guy's manager. He's going big today.
Chef Mike: I am the cashier. I think he do 1000 Zin.
Black Faggot: ah We do our 44 body chicken today.
Black Faggot: That fucking cook is just staring into the pot. There's 44 body chicken today.
whitekanyewest: I'm the, I'm the Zen guys manager.
Black Faggot: I am Marise and we're doing a 66 butter chicken today.
Chef Mike: I am Zingai. I am not addicted to Zing.
Black Faggot: oh my God.
whitekanyewest: True respect.
Chef Mike: Zingai was in fact addicted.
whitekanyewest: True damn respect.
Black Faggot: I am the black faggot. I am not addicted to anything.
Chef Mike: ha ha ha oh
Black Faggot: Oh, man. That is so good. ha
whitekanyewest: man, HR's gonna hate that one
Black Faggot: Who even has HR? I'm HR. My job.
whitekanyewest: that one.
Black Faggot: I think I'm approved.
whitekanyewest: The butter chicken guy.
Black Faggot: oh my God. That's so fucking funny. Jesus Christ. What else? What else is there? well Let me, let me think about that.
Black Faggot: Reading over notes on what to say next.
whitekanyewest: Hi, I'm Dman Israel and I think we can save 800 participants today.
Black Faggot: Yeah.
whitekanyewest: empty many even the energy
whitekanyewest: but chicken but you
Black Faggot: yeah
Black Faggot: a
whitekanyewest: ah
Black Faggot: you just covered up the cough and no fart no fart
whitekanyewest: Oh.
whitekanyewest: I did. I to hit the mute button on the cough, dude. Oh.
Black Faggot: I am the black faggot. I am allergic to double light battery. yeah
Black Faggot: Beep. Fire alarm goes off. Smoke detector goes off in the background.
Black Faggot: I am the black faggot.
whitekanyewest: well
Black Faggot: I am 22 frontal leaf. Yeah, frontal leaf and a bacon egg and cheese. ah Very good.
Black Faggot: Have you seen that one where they go up to the deli and they're like, yo, a let me get the bacon, egg and cheese in the front. Oh, yeah. yeah so yeah You know what?
whitekanyewest: but do it again with Oh, goddammit.
Black Faggot: You want the front leaf in the bacon, egg and cheese? Yeah. ah His mind is bad. We can't do that.
Black Faggot: Oh, my God. The chirp was perfect.
whitekanyewest: god.
whitekanyewest: Meep.
Black Faggot: chaired jared go out did Jared go off air?
Chef Mike: ah
Black Faggot: There we go.
Chef Mike: I'm here.
Black Faggot: the
whitekanyewest: Jared's like, he took it too far with the beep, dude.
Black Faggot: Jared, are you burning something in there?
Chef Mike: a
Black Faggot: Get the fuck out of the house, dude. Stop doing this.
whitekanyewest: Jared's roommate heard the beep through his headphones.
Black Faggot: So what the fuck?
Chef Mike: but oh my gosh.
whitekanyewest: Oh my God, dude, the house is going to burn down if we don't change the battery right now.
Black Faggot: Grabbed his gun.
Chef Mike: No, we also took the smoke detectors out, so maybe that's why.
Black Faggot: grab his gun. Must be close. Must be somewhere around there.
whitekanyewest: Dammit, the smoke detectors out, huh?
Black Faggot: It must be getting close.
Black Faggot: Because you're burning stuff all the time.
Chef Mike: dude, no, you've lived in like a small apartment before.
Black Faggot: He
Chef Mike: If you like try to cook, you try to like fry a steak.
whitekanyewest: I just let them set off all the time.
Black Faggot: he just delivered it.
Chef Mike: Yeah, they just go off all the time.
whitekanyewest: Doesn't set the building off. That's a myth.
Black Faggot: ah Yeah.
whitekanyewest: I fucking sent so many smoke detectors off. Especially at that spot in my old spot, the old apartment complex.
whitekanyewest: Be making butter chicken. Just let it boil over.
Black Faggot: ah
whitekanyewest: Yep. Yep.
Chef Mike: fall asleep in a chill child's bed, forget that the butter chickens on the stove.
whitekanyewest: have
Black Faggot: mo Smoke doesn't make the smoke detector go off, actually. it's It's different particles that make that go off right now.
whitekanyewest: you know
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Black Faggot: I know there's ton of smoke in here, but it's not what's making it go off.
Chef Mike: It's so that the other thing that they, it's not the smoke, it's what they put in the smoke.
Black Faggot: Yeah.
Black Faggot: It's
whitekanyewest: That's right, dude.
Chef Mike: It's the other things they put in the smoke to make it go off.
Black Faggot: the additives next to the smoke that's making it a blow our ears out right now.
Black Faggot: That's making the building evacuate. I know everybody's outside right now, but like it's not that smoky in here. It's fine.
Chef Mike: Sheep. That's what the sheep think, that it's it's the smoke that does it, but it's not.
Black Faggot: Yeah. Wolves stay in the burning house from the butter chicken. Sheep, go outside.
Black Faggot: Sheep, stay outside.
whitekanyewest: Yeah, you were you were merely lived in the smoke. I was born in baby.
Black Faggot: but That's so fucking funny. Oh, my God.
whitekanyewest: me and Chris Kyle, we know what's up about smoking buildings.
Black Faggot: Oh, man. you guys are still... Neither of you have seen the Osama documentary yet?
Chef Mike: Oh, fuck. I keep forgetting. ah
Black Faggot: God damn it.
Chef Mike: Yeah, I'll watch it this week. I really will.
whitekanyewest: I've been still watching the one about Vietnam.
Chef Mike: What's new about Vietnam?
Black Faggot: Shout out, Doak, dude. Doak lives in Mississippi. Jesus Christ.
whitekanyewest: What's new about Vietnam?
Chef Mike: ah They discovered new things about it. Oh, is that the...
whitekanyewest: Turning points, Vietnam. Nah, it's just about Vietnam, you
Chef Mike: That's cool.
Chef Mike: I like that one because we lost.
whitekanyewest: Actually, I don't know if I told you guys, maybe I said it yesterday. I'm reading a book about the troubles, the IRA and and their fight against you know England.
Chef Mike: you want about Europe, but they have the best names for things where people where people like blew up shit.
Black Faggot: Thank
whitekanyewest: Yeah, they just refer to it as the troubles.
Chef Mike: Not even just you know Ireland and and England and stuff, but like yeah, you'll you'll find it'll be like it was the It was the Sunday problem. And you'd be like, oh, what was And you'd be like, yeah, a thousand babies were set on fire.
whitekanyewest: Yep.
Chef Mike: And then everyone in the town was drowned for it. And you're like, oh, that's fucked up. Anyway, continue.
whitekanyewest: So I've been reading this book and I really didn't know anything about it other than, you know, what you think. And you're like, Oh yeah, that's cool. They were like fighting for their independence and shit.
Chef Mike: Yep.
whitekanyewest: So in college I had a professor who was from Ireland And he was from Northern Island and I asked him if he like knew anybody in the IRA and if he had any like, uh, whatever feelings about it or whatever. And he got kind of weird about it and was just like, let's not talk about that. Now that I'm reading the book, I'm like, damn, should have never asked him that.
Chef Mike: Interesting. I wonder if we had the same professor.
whitekanyewest: Cause it's,
whitekanyewest: cause it's just like, uh,
whitekanyewest: They're like, yeah, in Belafast, they would just shoot guns at each other all night and all day. And then they would take like a 20 minute break so people could go buy groceries and then they just start shooting each other.
Chef Mike: Good God.
whitekanyewest: I was like, damn, I kind of wish I didn't ask him about that.
Black Faggot: That's you are, brother. You ask those questions.
whitekanyewest: Like he was, he was probably too young.
Chef Mike: What was it like to die?
whitekanyewest: probably,
whitekanyewest: I love of asking people fucked up shit for sure.
Black Faggot: Yeah, so you were you like were're in like the Taliban and shit, probably. was like, what the hell?
Black Faggot: I go to Emerson College.
Black Faggot: Oh, yeah, you were in like the Taliban and shit. What was that like? Your parents died?
whitekanyewest: Shouts out P. Deegan.
Chef Mike: oh no, shit. You're from ah Northern Ireland. Did you commit any war crimes?
whitekanyewest: Was your family part of this?
Black Faggot: Yeah, it was your family doing car bombs and shit?
Black Faggot: That rocks.
whitekanyewest: I just had to know, dude. I was curious, you know? Yeah.
Black Faggot: Tell me about that, Ray.
Chef Mike: No, I support asking people those questions.
Black Faggot: You're wearing one of those Irish hats? Yes.
whitekanyewest: yeah
Chef Mike: You showed him your harp tattoo, right? And he was like, all right, he we're good.
Black Faggot: yes
whitekanyewest: Yeah, pretty much. He's like, that's fucking gay. Why'd you get that? Because your last name's not Irish. And I was like, my grandmother's is. And he was like, pussy.
Chef Mike: You're like, ah hey, Prof, and Aaron Gobra, by the way, but like, ah do you did you, ah were you, were you in the IRA?
whitekanyewest: Did you kill anybody?
Chef Mike: Did you blow up any Protestant churches?
Black Faggot: Goddamn.
whitekanyewest: I did that to my cousin's ex-husband too. He fought in Iraq right in the big very beginning of the war and he was in the 10th Mountain Division. So he was like in the thick of it.
Chef Mike: don't think of it.
whitekanyewest: And when he came back, I was like, so kill anybody?
Chef Mike: So, ah
whitekanyewest: as like He's like, yeah, I shot mortars into cities like all day. goes, I killed a lot of people.
Chef Mike: so my, my cousin, uh, when the army and he was in, um don't know, after Iraq or Afghanistan or whatever, when like, you know, shit was actually going down and we used to get together like extended family for a vacation every summer. remember the,
Chef Mike: you you know, he hadn't been able to make a bunch of them, but then the first one where he was able to make it when he was like, I don't know, between tours or however that shit works, my uncle like prepped everyone before he got there and was like, no one asked him if he killed anyone.
whitekanyewest: I hope you asked him immediately.
Chef Mike: Like, no, I didn't. But I'm like, that answers. Like I was curious and I might've asked, but yeah, like that's an answer to the question without, without answering it.
whitekanyewest: and will say my cousin's ex-husband told me some story that I think was just complete bullshit because I was a little kid.
Chef Mike: Oh, about being at war.
whitekanyewest: said, yeah. Yeah. He just told one of those like kind of generic, like, yeah, we were clearing houses in Iraq or Afghanistan. i think he was in Afghanistan because it was early in the war.
whitekanyewest: I went through this building and my my commanding officer shot over my head and killed somebody and saved my life.
Chef Mike: Hmm.
whitekanyewest: Now that I think about it as an adult, I'm like, that's probably something I would tell somebody.
Chef Mike: Yeah, that one's like, i imagine there's probably like four kinds of things. Like if you're going to tell a story, you're either very honest about it, which I have a couple of friends who are like, yeah, I like shoveled dirt.
whitekanyewest: Mm-hmm. That's what all the dudes at Netta told me.
Chef Mike: I like was on a base the entire time. And I like, and I like Doug latrines. Then there's people who I bet their stories who are like, who I bet they know someone who had a good story.
Chef Mike: And then that just becomes everyone's story. Like not one you could get like found out for where you're like our helicopter was shot down over Fallujah. But you're like, oh yeah, we like did this. Like probably like your, your cousin's story where you're like, yeah, this thing that happened to my friend actually happened to me.
Chef Mike: And then,
Chef Mike: yeah
Black Faggot: Thank you.
Chef Mike: i don't know.
Chef Mike: Probably tough.
whitekanyewest: that's why he came back told me every home in iraq sounded exactly like that
Chef Mike: Well, in in other countries, the beat is how you know it's working.
Chef Mike: That's not true.
Black Faggot: 22 butter chicken. ah
Chef Mike: ah
Chef Mike: I'm the manager. I think we can sell 1000 butter chicken.
Black Faggot: e e e e e
whitekanyewest: ah
Black Faggot: e e
whitekanyewest: Darius. Darius.
Chef Mike: Darius, why are you eating the cheese?
whitekanyewest: Put the Cheez- Put the Cheez- It's back in the bag, Darius.
Chef Mike: It's off the bed, Darius.
Black Faggot: How funny is it?
Chef Mike: Darius, you got to use a plate. Now your bed's all dirty, Darius.
Black Faggot: Dude. Yo. Dude.
whitekanyewest: He just goes to rip like the entire packet wants to, dude.
Chef Mike: Darius.
Black Faggot: dude
whitekanyewest: He was like, ain't taking this from me.
Black Faggot: yeah
whitekanyewest: but
Black Faggot: e oh
Chef Mike: Darius, now I gotta clean this up.
Black Faggot: Just talk, brother. Get it out. Get that shit.
whitekanyewest: a
Black Faggot: Say no.
whitekanyewest: He's the man.
Black Faggot: Isn't it crazy when she looks at the camera, she says, you can't see your ears. know.
Black Faggot: but
Chef Mike: She looks like a Pokemon.
Black Faggot: e a e
Black Faggot: ah
Chef Mike: It's like, i don't want to deal with this stim.
Black Faggot: i now
whitekanyewest: Oh man, and one of the funniest comments on that video goes, He was trying to blow her up with his mind at the end of that video, but he got distracted by the Cheez-Its. He
Chef Mike: ah
Black Faggot: Oh my god.
whitekanyewest: does that shit where he throws his finger up on his forehead. Yeah.
Black Faggot: oh yeah, he's aim pointing her, dude.
whitekanyewest: yeah
Black Faggot: He's fucking calling the strike on her.
Black Faggot: Yo, that's foul that they have him in a potato. It just says potato on
Chef Mike: Bye.
Black Faggot: Oh my god.
Black Faggot: You think her and her husband like
Black Faggot: The first time that Darius started liking hummus, they had to go buy it from the grocery store and they had to like announce to the grocery store that they're like not gay.
whitekanyewest: that
Black Faggot: We don't like this gay shit, by the way.
whitekanyewest: Yeah, we're just getting this for our son.
Black Faggot: We're getting this for our potato son. He likes this shit. ah
Chef Mike: We're not the Muslim kind of black.
Black Faggot: We ain't into this gay shit. What the hell is this?
Chef Mike: We're good Christian kinds of black people.
Black Faggot: Ahem.
Black Faggot: hum Hamas, we heard about this shit. Shit ain't good for you.
Chef Mike: Mm-hmm.
whitekanyewest: Where the hell is he in a potato shirt?
Black Faggot: It's it like down a few scrolls. He's just on the stairs.
whitekanyewest: Oh yeah, I see that, I see that. but take that one.
Black Faggot: She's like in that video where it's like, no, Darius did not get arrested for gooning. Stop asking me if he's gooning.
whitekanyewest: but
Chef Mike: I can't believe you would all ask me, but I am making a video about it.
Black Faggot: ha ha. ah
Black Faggot: Oh my god. It's
Chef Mike: Darius did not get arrested for gooning.
Black Faggot: like, god damn, dude. He's pile driving that fucking hog in this room, dude.
Black Faggot: You see all the weird shit he has in there? All the weird textures and stuff?
Chef Mike: oh yeah.
Black Faggot: All he's doing.
Black Faggot: God damn.
Chef Mike: ah
Black Faggot: He did eat a whole bag of cheeses. What'd she say? She's like, that's why we only get these once a year.
whitekanyewest: Yep.
Black Faggot: That's crazy.
Black Faggot: What do you think you would do to like the blue bag of Doritos? You'd probably fucking go nuts.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Black Faggot: Go absolutely AWOL.
whitekanyewest: mean, it's cool though. I fuck with different cheeseheads too.
Chef Mike: I mean, I've not not eaten an entire bag of
Black Faggot: Of course.
Chef Mike: CRDs in one sitting. Not a regular occurrence, but it's for sure happened.
Black Faggot: Oh, yeah.
whitekanyewest: Get the real Keefy one at the bottom of the bag.
Chef Mike: Yes, that's a reward.
whitekanyewest: Yeah, that's what's up.
Chef Mike: Mm-mm.
Chef Mike: You guys, ah and anyone follow Sailing with Phoenix? Anyone even know what I'm talking about?
whitekanyewest: I've only ever seen what you sent me.
Chef Mike: It's, ah well, it's less interesting if you if you didn't start following him like three weeks ago. But it's this random dude in Oregon who like, I don't know, sold his...
Chef Mike: or quit his job, cashed out his 401k, sold his shit and like bought a sailboat and then sailed the Hawaii, or was going to sail to Hawaii, but he was like live or not live live, but like everyday posting videos from the ocean.
Chef Mike: He was like, yeah, prior to the prior to this, I had only ever sailed 78 miles and now I'm sailing 2000. two thousand And he's got crazy eyes.
Chef Mike: And, uh, yeah. You hadn't followed him before.
Chef Mike: I guess you know now that he made it to Hawaii. But at the time, it was pretty fucked up. He'd just be in, like, crazy storms and be like, yeah, I might die right now. So, uh, this is cool.
Chef Mike: he didn't die.
whitekanyewest: Beep.
Black Faggot: Why not leave the cat behind?
Chef Mike: i don't I don't know why. Well, I think don't know the answer to that. I think it just was he just liked his cat.
Black Faggot: okay Cat doesn't want to be on a boat.
Chef Mike: Honestly, the cat. Dude, the cat was like mad chill the whole time. He would always like have a video every day with Phoenix, those which was the cat. and he just And the cat was just like chilling on a fucking mat somewhere. Just like Super content.
Chef Mike: Does seem like a small amount of space for a cat for three weeks, but.
Black Faggot: Is he flying back?
Chef Mike: i have no idea. I think I think he would. Well, he's got a boat, so.
Black Faggot: Yeah, he's going to sail back.
Chef Mike: I think you have to. It's the he only the his only possession is a boat now.
Black Faggot: Oh, okay. He's committed.
Chef Mike: That's like where he. It's like his house, too, so I think, yeah, he's got to sail back at some point.
Chef Mike: But yeah, he's like also, ah don't know, pretty socially awkward, I would say. and then he like lands in Waikiki. This was like couple days ago, actually. And they had like people had obviously like he went viral or whatever you'd call it.
Chef Mike: People had found out about it and there was like hundreds of people at this marina and Waikiki waiting for him. And you're also like, you haven't seen people for three weeks and you haven't like properly taken a shower in three weeks and shit.
Black Faggot: yeah
Chef Mike: And then you have all these people who want to party with you and they're and they like, like the mayor showed up and like made him make a speech.
Black Faggot: Oh my god.
Chef Mike: And you're like, I would like what I actually want to do right now.
Black Faggot: Oh.
whitekanyewest: speech.
Black Faggot: oh Okay.
Chef Mike: It's like sleep in a bed. that was pretty sick.
Black Faggot: Facts.
Chef Mike: Yep, that's kind of it.
Black Faggot: Then everybody's got to go on to the lady building a tunnel under her house. Mentioned it a hundred times, but it's what we got to do.
Black Faggot: Carla. Let me get her name here.
Chef Mike: Engineering Kayla?
Black Faggot: Engineering Kala.
Chef Mike: Kala?
Chef Mike: Yeah, she's fucking nuts. So...
Black Faggot: Engineer Kala.
Black Faggot: Engineer Engineer Kala.
Chef Mike: think it's... Yeah, I don't know if it's Kala or Kayla, but yeah. So I think we talked about it last week, I think, and I was saying how had followed her like, or I thought I had, I had like found out about her like years ago and then just like fell out, uh, like stopped showing up in my feed and, and then, you know, you dropped it back in and I was like Oh shit, this bitch is like still around fucking digging.
Black Faggot: Jesus.
Chef Mike: And so then I did more investigating after last week. Cause I was like, what the fuck happened in that two years since I remember seeing her shit to now, apparently she started digging that tunnel or those tunnels and fucking like 2021 and got like a lot of tunnel.
Black Faggot: jesus
Black Faggot: Yes.
Chef Mike: and And in the, in the Jesse Morales becoming too famous, becoming too famous on Instagram or Tik TOK kind of way. ah her fans basically like ratted her out to like Virginia's... i don't know. They were basically like, this tunnel can't possibly be safe.
Chef Mike: And so the state came in and shut down her tunnel for a year, maybe two years.
Black Faggot: yes
Chef Mike: And then... they had inspectors come in. She like, wasn't even allowed to be in her house for a while because Doug, yeah like, like I said, like dug into the foundation and like dug into the fucking like underneath it.
Black Faggot: Yes.
Chef Mike: So it's like not potentially not standing correctly.
Black Faggot: Yep.
Chef Mike: But yeah, they sent inspectors and shit in. And then at the end of it, they were like, uh, yeah, you gotta like do three things, but I guess it's safe. Like,
Black Faggot: Oh, my God.
Chef Mike: yeah She got a fucking Air Bud pass where they're like there's no rule that says a dog can't play basketball.
Black Faggot: yeah
Chef Mike: They're like, you know what? No one's ever done this before. And there's no law that says you can't just excavate all the fucking dirt under your house. So yeah, I guess you can keep doing it.
Black Faggot: It's what she's done, dude.
Chef Mike: So yeah, dude, she's, she's, that's why she's back. She was shit.
Black Faggot: I can tell she's just tunneling for fun because just makes up different reasons every video.
Chef Mike: Oh yeah. Yeah.
Black Faggot: Oh, it's for my castle. Oh, it's for a storm shelter. Oh, it's for a tunnel.
Chef Mike: Like a fucking castle. Yeah.
Black Faggot: You lying fucking bitch.
Chef Mike: Which again, and like a, based on those, when, when I first started watching them and I was like, Oh, she probably like, she's obviously crazy, but she's like crazy. She's like one of those crazy, like daughter of a rich, like a trust fund, crazy person in my mind that she like lived on some big property.
Chef Mike: Like I, like my dad dated this rich girl. Who's, who's related to the cabot family. And when her dog died, she built an eternal flame on the cliff of a, over the ocean for dog.
Black Faggot: Yes. Yes.
Chef Mike: Like, you know, like that kind of crew where you're just like, you have enough money to do whatever you want. So figured that was her. And she was just like building a castle. And then when I dock, well, I didn't knock it at doxer when i deep dived and found out where she lives.
Chef Mike: Like bitch lives in like a residential neighborhood
Black Faggot: Yes.
Chef Mike: in fucking virginia on a quarter acre lot with a with an easement to the road she doesn't even have her own driveway uh
Black Faggot: Embarrassing.
Chef Mike: surrounded on all sides by neighbors my how to the fuck did you one there you could never build a castle or a tower on that land you don't even have enough of of a yard and how are all these fucking people not
Black Faggot: Oh, yeah.
Black Faggot: Exactly. It's a lie.
Chef Mike: pissed off. Like, you can hear... you can hear somebody fucking jackhammering rocks underground. They could hear the fucking...
Black Faggot: Oh, yeah.
Chef Mike: Hasidic Jews in the tunnel.
Black Faggot: And she's...
Chef Mike: you They could definitely hear her all hours a day fucking breaking rocks underground.
whitekanyewest: Hmm. Hmm.
Black Faggot: Oh, yeah.
Chef Mike: It's...
Black Faggot: And they hear dump she dumps out like all of the rocks out of some compartment apartment and shoots out of her basement into a dumpster.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Yes. I mean, she built some fucking... ah Yeah, some like conveyor belt elevator shit.
Black Faggot: Yeah.
Chef Mike: Just dump rubble into the yard.
Black Faggot: All out of a normal suburban house.
Chef Mike: Yeah, dude.
Black Faggot: She's in a ranch.
Chef Mike: i ah ah What the fuck?
Black Faggot: Just
Chef Mike: What is her name? Tunnel Girl?
Black Faggot: Engineer Kayla.
Chef Mike: No, I know, I know. ah
Black Faggot: Tunnel girl.
Chef Mike: she has a She has a Wikipedia page that
Black Faggot: No.
Chef Mike: That she clearly wrote.
Black Faggot: Oh, no.
Chef Mike: Like. i'm I've never been more more sure of anything. That the Kayla. TikToker. Wikipedia article. Was written by her.
Chef Mike: I'm not going to read the whole thing.
Black Faggot: Jesus Christ.
Chef Mike: But who who but her. Could possibly know this information. Here's the subsection of her article. Called tunnel construction. In August of 2022, Kayla began construction on a storm shelter in her basement.
Black Faggot: Yeah, right.
Chef Mike: yeah She studied FEMA's shelter guidelines and a civil engineering book entitled Rock Mass Classification, a Practical Approach in Civil Engineering. She began posting to TikTok about her tunnel construction in October of 2022, telling viewers she was undertaking the project to challenge herself.
Chef Mike: Kayla's followers initially consisted primarily of electricians mining and mining and civil engineers. In the course of excavating under her home, Kayla also found valuable building stones, which she began to mine and save for later projects.
Chef Mike: Like she wrote this.
Black Faggot: It's all a big cover up.
Chef Mike: In March of 2025, Kayla told Fox News that her tunnel got approved from Herndon, Virginia, including her floor and structural plans, along with construction specifications for her quote-unquote storm shelter.
Chef Mike: as of As of her approval, the to the tunnel system is 22 feet below ground and with a 30-foot entrance.
whitekanyewest: What, you guys don't have hobbies?
Chef Mike: a Yeah, it's crazy.
whitekanyewest: make
Black Faggot: Everybody listening has like an automatic mine cart on on this fucking tunnel. Like it's an actual tunnel.
Chef Mike: You got to check it out because it it is genuinely insane.
Chef Mike: ah
Black Faggot: She is rigging the system. Some poor guy that like works for the town had to like go over her plans that she blueprinted out and had Had no other option besides improving them because she's all technically smart.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Yes. That's the other thing. It's like, yeah, she, she, ah gotta watch a video to, to get in that mindset.
Chef Mike: But her she's like, today was a fortuitous day because as I was digging my tunnel, I discovered valuable.
whitekanyewest: Sandstone, baby.
Chef Mike: Yeah. Yeah. Valuable, a valuable feldspar deposit. These rocks will be perfect for building my tower. I just, I just hope that I can mine enough before she's, yeah, she's got that.
whitekanyewest: She's like...
Chef Mike: Like, i don't even know.
whitekanyewest: Today was fortuitous because I found that I will sell a thousand butter chickens.
Black Faggot: ha
Chef Mike: ah
whitekanyewest: Welcome to my underground butter chicken bunker
Black Faggot: Yeah, she's a lying bitch.
Chef Mike: So you for sure know that, yeah, when she whenever she had to go to some, like, board of approvals meeting, she went with, like, documents.
Black Faggot: Oh, yeah, she's an engineer, so she bored him to death, basically.
Chef Mike: No, she's not.
Black Faggot: Really? Really?
Chef Mike: that's ah That is part of her fucking lie.
Black Faggot: No.
Chef Mike: So this is on her TikTok by biography. Kayla studied business and finance in college.
Black Faggot: God damn it.
Chef Mike: After graduating, she entered IT as a software engineer.
Black Faggot: Fuck.
Chef Mike: She has no building experience, no engineering experience, no mining experience. This all.
Black Faggot: She's doing all of the electrical to her house too.
Chef Mike: Yes, she's self-taught.
Black Faggot: Jesus Christ.
Chef Mike: From reading books.
Black Faggot: Oh my God. This is way worse than I thought.
Chef Mike: Yeah, dude, it's insane. The one I watched, or I think you sent it today where she was like, she was like, fucking jackhammering away concrete that she had poured.
Black Faggot: Oh, yeah.
Chef Mike: She was like, I think if I, I'm, I'm nervous about this because if I do it wrong, the tunnel could collapse on me.
Black Faggot: Oh, yeah.
Chef Mike: And she's like, but I think I, I think I've figured out a solution. I'm going to install a pipe and then, and then pressure concrete into the pipe to, to build my arch.
Black Faggot: Oh, yes.
Chef Mike: Like there's, there's, I don't fucking know. I don't want to be like you're not allowed to You're ah you're a allowed... This is America. It's a free country.
Chef Mike: You're allowed to entomb yourself in concrete underneath your house if you want.
Black Faggot: Well, she tricked me.
Chef Mike: But...
Black Faggot: I thought she was an engineer this whole time.
Chef Mike: But at the same time... I'm also a proponent of like someone has figured that out already. Like there is a... like Like discovering things for yourself is great, but like, how do you build a well-supported roof in a tunnel is a problem humans discovered already. So just like do that.
Chef Mike: Don't be like, I think I'm going to just ram a pe PVC pipe up here and fill it with concrete and that should work.
Black Faggot: Okay.
whitekanyewest: think I'm just going to probably dump bunch butter chicken down in the hole.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Black Faggot: She re...
Chef Mike: As I was digging, I discovered a vein of valuable butter chicken.
Black Faggot: She re-poured her fucking foundation to do all this, which is insane.
Chef Mike: ah She's got to have, i mean, she's, she's spent tens of thousands of dollars on this.
Black Faggot: Oh, yeah.
Chef Mike: So she does have either.
Black Faggot: It's her autism hobby, dude.
Chef Mike: Yeah. That's the other thing is you think like, she's got to be rich. And then you find out like, no, she just, she eats like ketchup packets that she steals from a local McDonald's because she spends every penny she has on mining under her house.
Black Faggot: yeah
Black Faggot: She is a Pizza Hut girl, Paul.
whitekanyewest: Mmm.
Black Faggot: So I saw that today. I was like, oh this this is ah this is a good plus four.
Chef Mike: Mm-hmm.
Black Faggot: Yeah, she is fucking stupid.
whitekanyewest: Order that pizza.
whitekanyewest: What's up, Shock Squad? This is JShock9.
whitekanyewest: Today I got the Pizza Hut pizza with the with the fucking breadsticks. Let's get to mucking.
Black Faggot: Let's get to mucking. Me and my dad, we're going to, at the end of this hour and 30 video, we're going to eat two pieces of pizza because our mouths are all weird and stuff. So it's going to take us a while. Let's get to mucking.
whitekanyewest: When you go out to eat because you're alone, let's get to sucking.
Chef Mike: Oh my god.
Black Faggot: Me and my dad, we can't really chew the pizza, so that's we just sniff it. Let's get to sniffing.
whitekanyewest: Let's get to sniffing.
Black Faggot: That's a good... That pizza smells really good.
Black Faggot: Wow, that pizza smells good.
Chef Mike: Just based on his dad's face and then his face, if he had a kid, that kid's face would just look like a fucking
Black Faggot: Oh, my God. It just goes out of control.
whitekanyewest: Mm-hmm.
Chef Mike: just look like like a fucking belly button.
Black Faggot: His dad's face, he just has like the warhead face. Like you just ate like two warheads at the same time.
Chef Mike: Yeah, it's just a little it's a little twisted.
Black Faggot: It's a little goofy.
whitekanyewest: man.
Chef Mike: then his Then his son's... then ah
Black Faggot: J-Shock.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
whitekanyewest: J-Shock, baby.
Chef Mike: iach He's pretty bad. And I think if he had a kid, it would look like his face was actively being sucked into a black hole.
whitekanyewest: up, Shark Squad? I'm here to get 100 butter chickens. Let's get to slurping.
whitekanyewest: Damn, the Knicks.
Black Faggot: yes
whitekanyewest: The Knicks will just choke ours, huh?
Chef Mike: What happened?
whitekanyewest: They just lost tonight, 121-130. Mm-hmm. Once again. Ugh.
Chef Mike: Was that it? That's... No, there's...
Black Faggot: One more. One more loss.
Chef Mike: One more. One more loss.
Black Faggot: One more butter chicken.
Chef Mike: One more butt-up stick-in!
Black Faggot: This is for you, Jayla Bronson.
whitekanyewest: once again
Black Faggot: You're in 32 butter chicken.
Black Faggot: What's up, guys? It's Jay Shack. I'm in the tunnel right now with Kayla, and we're going to get to sniffing.
whitekanyewest: we
whitekanyewest: It's good to sucking.
Black Faggot: We're going to get to sniffing until we pass out.
Chef Mike: oh Oh, the fucking other thought I had while I was watching those videos is... So she does seem pretty... ah like she's doing things as well as one could do as like ah as a person.
Black Faggot: Oh, yeah.
Chef Mike: Like she's solved some problems of like ventilation and like structural integrity and stuff. The funniest fucking thing is every time she's down there, she's like just in...
Chef Mike: She's in like elementary school librarian clothes.
Black Faggot: I know.
Chef Mike: The one where she was just like jackhammering the ceiling and there's just dust.
Black Faggot: Agreed.
Chef Mike: There's like red dust raining down on her. Cause she's just fucking drilling right above her head. And she's in like a teal cardigan and like a fucking floral dress.
Black Faggot: yeah
Chef Mike: I'm like, what bitch wear a fucking union suit. Like, what are you doing?
Black Faggot: Yes, I am in my librarian because I can wear what I want. It does not obstruct my jackhammering skills. That's how she talks the whole time.
Chef Mike: yeah
Black Faggot: One would think that you cannot do all the electricity ah electricity in your house. Well, I read the code book and I can do it. That's literally one of our videos. It's crazy.
whitekanyewest: looking
Black Faggot: You're just at that level of autism where you could just, you know, read a book and I guess you could do stuff.
whitekanyewest: for track on clock.
Black Faggot: I bet you they just passed her, her like permit application just so that it collapses on her they don't have to deal with it. Yeah. Yeah.
Chef Mike: they like went around to the neighbors they're like what do what do you like I know this is a pain in the ass like she kind of has this over a barrel on the regs but like what do you want and they're like they're like honestly like we've been hoping for a while that she was just gonna die it like
Black Faggot: yeah
Black Faggot: Yeah.
Chef Mike: like like what did you think when you went down there and he's like yeah that shit's gonna collapse any day now like just let it keep going then
Black Faggot: Yeah. yeah Either oxygen or that thing's coming down shortly. We got about 120 days and this list lady ain't going to be here.
Chef Mike: she's she's this close to a municipal water main so like she goes she goes six inches in that direction and she's done
Black Faggot: This thing's going to blow. Imagine a lady who bought she like bought the house from is like my fucking poor house. This bitch is drilling through it.
Chef Mike: Yep.
Black Faggot: I mean, she can't go that far, right? Because you can't go under somebody's property.
Chef Mike: Yeah, you only have the, I mean, I guess in that area you have your mineral rights, not everywhere you do. So she, she'd only have mineral rights under her exact property.
Black Faggot: Jesus Christ, mineral rights is insane to talk about.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
whitekanyewest: She's gonna hit a well. She's gonna hit a fucking well of oil.
Black Faggot: Oh my God.
whitekanyewest: She's gonna be like the Beverly Hillbillies all of a sudden. She's rich as hell. Mm-hmm.
Black Faggot: i am now very wealthy. I'm going to keep digging tunnels. but prefer
whitekanyewest: Mm-hmm.
whitekanyewest: She's gonna be like that scene in, uh,
Chef Mike: Uh-huh.
whitekanyewest: the end of there will be blood.
Chef Mike: Uh-huh.
whitekanyewest: She's going go over to her neighbors and be like, I drank your milkshake.
whitekanyewest: I built very long straw and stuck it into your oil well.
Black Faggot: I am su I just acquired wealth for the first time in my life I am going to keep going tunnels
whitekanyewest: Damn. Imagine being one of those fucking poor African guys who are digging lithium for for Tesla batteries and then you get an iPhone and you find that there's just some woman doing it for fun.
Chef Mike: Yeah.
Black Faggot: yeah Yeah.
Black Faggot: I am going to now use my wealth and buy 4,200 butter chicken.
whitekanyewest: Hmm. Hmm.
Black Faggot: Wow, we saw so many butter chicken today. saw 4,200 butter chicken. forty-two hundred butter chicken
Black Faggot: Indian people in the restaurant, they're ground shaking because she's tunneling underneath it.
Chef Mike: yeah
Black Faggot: Fucking...
whitekanyewest: I was trying to get into the butter butter chicken mind.
Black Faggot: is yes
Black Faggot: fucking she
whitekanyewest: Digs up through the floor.
Chef Mike: I am sick of having to drive to the India buffet.
Black Faggot: yeah
Chef Mike: So I have tunneled underneath them and I will be getting all of their butter chicken.
Black Faggot: Here I am under the Indian buffet. Weird enough, I've run into Teflon. i am now mining Teflon.
whitekanyewest: so
Black Faggot: There is so many Teflon down here. Wow.
Black Faggot: This bitch in a fucking sweater under there just mining Teflon.
Chef Mike: Uh, uh, uh, uh,
Chef Mike: ah
Black Faggot: This dumb bitch.
Chef Mike: ah
Black Faggot: Oh my god. This just Indian restaurant's just shaking.
Black Faggot: Oh, she's hit the Teflon.
Chef Mike: yeah
Black Faggot: It's just an earthquake. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Is anybody giving like a black person a butter chicken? That might fucking change our that might rock their world.
Black Faggot: It's so rich. It might be right up their alley.
Black Faggot: Because pretty white guy owned. It's like a lot of white people love butter chicken. Let's kick it around the block.
Chef Mike: Oh yeah.
Black Faggot: Let's see who likes it the most.
Chef Mike: I mean, currently white people definitely like it the most.
Black Faggot: Autistic white people, definitely. Big time.
Black Faggot: Paul, you like butter chicken, right? yeah
whitekanyewest: I like tikka masala better.
Chef Mike: You're not going to send a butter chicken out away.
whitekanyewest: Nah.
Chef Mike: yeah
whitekanyewest: I like the chickpea one. one that's just chickpeas and masala.
Chef Mike: Fuck that. Should either trash.
whitekanyewest: What?
Black Faggot: So, so, uh, could i order like two butter chicken and, uh, so you guys like bomb Pakistan too?
whitekanyewest: What?
whitekanyewest: Oh man, when I used to
Black Faggot: Pakistan, like cut your mom's hands off and stuff. Yeah.
whitekanyewest: Just would go to this fucking pizza place in Boston where the guys were Turkish, maybe? like, so what do you guys think about the Armenian genocide?
whitekanyewest: That's
Black Faggot: Oh, my God.
whitekanyewest: fucking crazy, right? Kosovo, what do you guys think about Kosovo in like 1995?
Black Faggot: White BMW.
Black Faggot: White BMW X5.
whitekanyewest: I still can't. I think I've told the story before, but I went there the one time and I used to take shits in their basement bathroom. So
Chef Mike: crazy already.
Black Faggot: i mean but
whitekanyewest: so I went there one night and I had this, I had this shit. I was like drunk after the bar and I'm like, yo, Ollie, let me use the bathroom. and he's like, all right, this is the first time I ever did. I'm like, how do I get down to it And he like flips up the service ah table and he's like, you got to climb through this little like trap door and go down the stairs.
whitekanyewest: You get downstairs into the basement. It's just this fucking single light bulb hanging from the ceiling.
Black Faggot: Hell yeah. yeah
whitekanyewest: He's like, the bathroom's in the back corner. I'm like, okay. I come back up and he's like, Hey, I got, I got weed.
Chef Mike: Jesus
Black Faggot: Hell
Chef Mike: but she scratch
whitekanyewest: ah I'm like, what? And he's like, yeah. straight from afghanistan and he reaches into the front of his pants and he pulls out a gallon size ziploc bag just filled with little dime bags
Black Faggot: Hell yeah.
whitekanyewest: and i go so are you giving it to me and he goes no you gotta buy it and i was like well i don't want that so thanks for letting me take a shit in your weird dungeon bathroom
Black Faggot: Oh my god.
whitekanyewest: He's like, he's very good. Straight from Afghanistan, my friend. I'm like, yeah, I'm good.
Black Faggot: my god. Oh my god.
Chef Mike: That's fucking crazy.
Black Faggot: Oh, big Irishman live big butter chicken in basement.
whitekanyewest: funny thing, too, is that we used to throw parties at our apartment and my fucking roommate would go down there and take a shit mid-party. Yeah.
Black Faggot: Hell yeah. To the basement.
whitekanyewest: We would just go use their fucking dungeon bathroom all the time. Shouts out College Pizza, Jersey Street in Boston.
Black Faggot: Hell yeah. Shout out. Shout out college pizza. Shout out Mississippi.
whitekanyewest: Yep. My bad for for blowing up your spot about selling weed, but it's all good.
Black Faggot: good.
Chef Mike: Every pizza place.
whitekanyewest: It's legal now anyways.
Chef Mike: if you It's legal now anyways, and if you didn't know this, if you live in a state where drugs aren't legal, every pizza place will sell you weed and cocaine.
Black Faggot: Yep.
whitekanyewest: Hey buddy, straight from Afghanistan, let me just fucking pull this out from underneath my balls.
Chef Mike: Ha, ha, ha.
Black Faggot: The least you can do is buy this weed from me. Okay.
whitekanyewest: I just can't believe that they let me go down into their weird fucking murder basement. And that it was just like actually a dungeon with a single light bulb just hanging from a string.
Chef Mike: I mean, legally, they have to let you use the bathroom.
whitekanyewest: You think that that place is following legal laws?
Black Faggot: Yeah.
Chef Mike: No, no. But if you serve food, you have to let customers use the bathroom.
whitekanyewest: They were just my homies.
whitekanyewest: man. Fuck that place, though.
Black Faggot: Oh, man.
Chef Mike: But anyway, those guys were faggots.
whitekanyewest: ate their mad times. They never gave me anything for free, so fuck them.
Black Faggot: Yeah.
Chef Mike: Didn't even give me free weed after I shit in their basement.
whitekanyewest: They gave my other shitty roommate that we all hated free pizza one time, but they never gave me free pizza. What's up with that?
Chef Mike: Wow.
whitekanyewest: He was probably too scared to take shits in their bathroom.
Black Faggot: yeah he did Yeah, he never asked.
Chef Mike: Didn't even ask. Never even asked.
Black Faggot: He never went down there and just paid for his food. He was just a normal customer.
whitekanyewest: yeah the The craziest part about it it was our our apartment was... less than a block away, half a block. So like probably a two minute walk.
whitekanyewest: That's a, that's a desperation moment. Yeah.
Black Faggot: Yeah.
Chef Mike: Yeah, that's...
Black Faggot: This guy comes in here and tries to ask for like chicken cordon bleu and takes shits in our basement. it was We don't have weo have either those. That's all it does. Ask for stuff we don't have and takes shits in the basement.
Black Faggot: Well, that's it. We're not going to get any higher than that, butter chicken.
Chef Mike: Hmm. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Black Faggot: That's a great that's a great ah episode right there, guys.
whitekanyewest: Thank you.
Chef Mike: Yeah, we did it.
Black Faggot: Welcome back, Paul.
Chef Mike: ah Welcome back. Goodbye.
Black Faggot: Bye.
