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00:00:01
38 triple K
14 Plays7 months ago
Forrest Hump
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Transcript
Audio Issues and Jokes
00:00:20
Speaker
That's where you do the part.
00:00:43
Speaker
B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-
00:00:58
Speaker
Something really cool about this week's episode is that my audio is being really weird, so who knows if it's going to sound good at all at the end of this hour. Might just be another hour of our lives wasted, ain't that right, Lucas? I mean, isn't that how most of our podcasts go?
00:01:24
Speaker
Yeah, and also most of my days in general. Yeah, yep, yep. Just counting them, just numbers passing by in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind. Yeah, yeah. Your audio changed just so you know. Oh, did it do that? Like how bad? What happened? It wasn't too bad. It just got a little bit louder and like a little bit more like clear almost.
00:01:53
Speaker
Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, it sounds like it sounds like you're in a sterile room right now. Yeah, it's called Stack Pharma. Shout out stock. It got better. Okay, we don't need to mention it every time it gets better. Okay. Stop pointing that.
Funny Stories and Jokes
00:02:15
Speaker
Oh, I went to the bank today. Just to deposit some cash that I have.
00:02:23
Speaker
Oh, yeah. He's like, who carries around cash anymore, right? Yeah, because you're carrying around a lot of cash, apparently. Yeah, the wallet was getting heavy. And also was tired of carrying around $1 bills. I'm not really going to strip club anytime soon. So I was depositing cash. And an old lady, she must have been lost or something. She came up to me and she asked me to check her balance.
00:02:53
Speaker
And so I pushed her and she fell over. So you didn't go to the bank today? What do you mean? That was, that was clearly just the setup for a joke. A poor joke. So, um, I went to, uh,
00:03:19
Speaker
It's like almost springtime and I want our flowers to start blooming. So I went to a beekeeper yesterday and- Stop it, stop it, stop it. I just wanted to get some bees for the backyard so they could start pollinating the flowers and we'd have a nice healthy garden. And, you know, the guy was having like, he was having like a special, like they call it a, this is like a beekeeper's dozen or whatever. So I asked him for 12, I asked him for the beekeeper's dozen.
00:03:49
Speaker
He gives me 13 bees. And I go, dude, you gave me an extra bee. And he goes, ah, don't worry, that's a free bee. Two things. First, I want to know if you can actually buy bees in real life. Like, can you just go out and buy
00:04:19
Speaker
Yes. You can go buy bees. Who is selling bees? How do you get in that line at work? Do you not listen to that whole story? Dude, beekeepers don't sell bees. They sell honey. Well, they also sell bees. Okay, second question. I'm sure some exterminators sell bees, too. Second question. What's the big idea? Sorry.
00:04:49
Speaker
That was kind of good. I'll give you that one. Thanks, dude. Just to start this episode, I'm kind of buzzing. There it is. Oh, my God. Okay. Thank you. Can you name for me five flowers? Yes. A petunia, a tulip,
00:05:18
Speaker
A sunflower, a... Ooh. Wait, I'm almost there. A rose, there's four. And then a... An iris. I'm gonna have to fact check iris.
00:05:46
Speaker
I think that's your eye. I think there's a flower. You're right. Holy shit. You thought of Iris before like Daisy. Yeah, I did. Cause I played this game at work called, um, where taken USA. Do you know what that is? No. They, they send you or they give you a picture and you have to guess what state it's in.
00:06:11
Speaker
And then after you guess what state it's in, it'll ask you questions about the state, like what's the state's flower. And this week, one of the state flowers was like a green iris or some shit like that. What the fuck? So it's like geoguesser, but for the US and a little bit more specific. That's right. That's a very good representation of it.
00:06:40
Speaker
I'm going to try that out tomorrow. Does it switch like Wordle? It's every day. Yeah. Neat. I'm going to try it now. Okay. Um, so yeah, fuck yourself. I listed five flowers. You did. I really actually didn't think you were going to be able to. So, um, I'll give you props there. All right. And then send me a dollar on Venmo. Whoa, that was never part of the deal.
00:07:12
Speaker
Besides, I don't even have Venmo. I only use Cash App. Oh, well, Zell me a dollar. I don't have Zell. Oh, you don't? Nope. I'm unbanked. I have everything except for Cash App. Oh, what a, what a shame. Just mail me a dollar bill. Put it in the mail. Ah, Jack, that's too dangerous. People still use the mail? Yeah, I get mail from my parents.
00:07:44
Speaker
that. So it's just shocking to you. Yeah. What the fuck are they saying? Like, um, hi, Lou. Hello. Just hanging out and butt fuck Ohio. Sometimes people from Ohio send mail. That's right. That's fair. You know what? I'm not even surprised anymore. That makes sense.
00:08:10
Speaker
No, it's because sometimes my banking stuff gets sent there and they just forward it to me. I don't know why, but when they moved, my whole government profile said that I moved with them and all of my information got changed to that, even though I said, no, I live in South Carolina. I think I was the one who pointed that out to you, didn't I?
00:08:38
Speaker
What? I was doing, at work I have special permissions to look up people. Oh yeah, because it says I live in Ohio. Yeah, it says you live in Ohio. Yeah, that's part of it.
00:08:55
Speaker
Yeah, interesting. I don't know why. Because I've legally I am a legal South Carolina resident now. And it's still like things still just default driver's license is the stupid South Carolina license. Do you know what's wack it's people say that my Colorado ID looked fake in that South Carolina ID looks like I made it when I was 12 in high school. I know.
00:09:23
Speaker
Crazy. Colorado IDs kind of slap. Anyway. Anyway. Should we, should we get into our, our segments for this week? Um, yeah. I mean, if you want to, what did you do your preparation?
00:09:52
Speaker
Yeah, I just have the, I have the, the names that I give you, right? And you have the way this is on the, it's three each and we have to come up with it on the spot. Yeah. And while someone, while you're thinking, I'll give you like, I don't know, 30 seconds or something to think of it while that's going on. Like I'll tell some jokes or, you know, keep them busy and vice versa. Okay. Okay. You like that? Yeah.
00:10:23
Speaker
Okay. Um, when you give me the company, are you going to give me their current slogan as well? Yeah, I'll give it to you. Okay. Who wants to go first? Um, I'll give you, I'll go first. You want to go first and come up? Okay. So wait, hold on. Just really quick for all three of you listening. Uh, we're about to start a segment called
00:10:57
Speaker
Catch phrase. We're about to start a segment called Catch. Catch a new phrase. Catch a new phrase.
Catch a New Phrase - Sponsored Segment
00:11:08
Speaker
Catch a new phrase brought to you by It's a Sandwich. On Instagram and TikTok, It's a Sandwich provides in-depth sandwich reviews. It's a great account. You should go check it out. Toss it a follow. Toss it a like.
00:11:23
Speaker
That's ISSA underscore sandwich, ISSA underscore sandwich on Instagram. Proud sponsor of Headed Weest and of this new segment, catch a new phrase.
00:11:37
Speaker
All right. Okay. So should I, should I give you the first one? I didn't even describe what we're doing. So what's going to happen is Luke is going to, I got off track there. Luke is going to give me, um, the name of the company and their current tagline. And I'm going to give them a new one. Uh, that's probably better and more clever. Uh, just kind of showing off our marketing skills, if you will. Um, and this is brought to you by this sandwich.
00:12:07
Speaker
All right. The first one I'm going to give you because their current slogan is already great is hot pockets. And their current slogan is everybody is a different temperature. Okay. How much time do I have? 30 seconds. That's it? No. Okay. Wait, how much time should you get?
00:12:33
Speaker
Yeah. 30 seconds is good, but you need to tell me when it starts. So I have an idea of. Okay. It starts when the clock hits 45. Okay. And it's hot pockets. And I'll entertain the audience for 25 more seconds. While Jack sits there and thinks, audience, I would like to tell a quick story.
00:13:02
Speaker
about how I accidentally farted really loud in the gym. And it was traumatizing, but that's the preface for it. And I'll give you the rest of the story later. Hot pockets. So hot burning holes in your pockets. That was so bad.
00:13:30
Speaker
Yeah, I wasn't, I couldn't think of anything and I just fucking, I caved. Okay. Yeah, that's fair. This is going to be hard. Yeah, it is. Give me, give me that one. Oh, so you don't want to alternate here? You have a story to tell. It's better if we just keep this momentum flowing. Okay. Okay. My next one is Taco Bell. And I think everybody knows what this one is. It's either Liv Moss or
00:14:01
Speaker
think outside the bun. Yeah, you're definitely right. Yeah. When the clock hits 20, your time will start. All right. And go. Anyway, so I was at the gym, and I was doing a pull up. And I was
00:14:26
Speaker
And you know, if you don't know, pull ups are pretty hard. Okay. And I was trying to get one last one and it was, you know, I was really pushing it here, really, really using all my muscles. And I guess I wasn't focused on controlling my butt muscles and it just kind of came out, but it was like, it was like earth shatteringly loud, you know? Um, anyway, Jack.
00:14:54
Speaker
Forget about hitting the shelves for Miralax. Go to Taco Bell. You know what? Not bad. Not bad. I kind of like that. But they would never use another brand in their own slogan, you know? Oh, true. Maybe like the Taxless laxative? Mm-hmm. Something like that. But it's good.
00:15:24
Speaker
It's good. Taco Bell. Let's relax. Ooh. Yeah. I like that. Okay. Okay. Okay. One more. Hit me with it. Oh, and the last one I'm going to give you is Geico. And Geico has two. It's either 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance or
00:15:53
Speaker
So easy, a caveman can do it. Uh-huh. And your time starts when the clock hits five seconds. And go. Anyway, after it kind of just came out of me, I kind of just tensed up. What? Nothing. I just tensed up, and I like
00:16:23
Speaker
I couldn't turn around to face the gym. There wasn't many people in there, thank God. But I couldn't face the people that were in there with my own two eyes. That would be terrifying. So I left. Anyway, Jack, back to you. Geico. Let go. Let's go and get Gecko. Let go. Let's go and get Gecko.
00:16:52
Speaker
What is, what is the let go and let go? It's like let go of that annoying bitch flow. Like let her, let her go. You don't need to deal with her anymore. And let's go and get get go. Come on. Fire me up. Let's go. It's catchy. It's catchy. I'll give you that. That's right. Did you finish your story? Yeah, I did. I did. Okay.
00:17:19
Speaker
All right, the first one I'm gonna give you is M&M. And the slogan is melts in your mouth, not in your hands. That's the actual slogan? Yeah, that's what it is. Okay, I actually have a slogan. Okay, well your time starts in five seconds. Can I just give it? I guess if you want, yeah. Or do you wanna tell a story? No, go for it, go for it. Okay, okay, ready?
00:17:50
Speaker
Even though you might think we are, we're not Marshall Mathers. Or Skittles. Yeah, but it's more for the play on M&M. No, I got it. I got it. I get it. I got it. I got it. OK? All right. That was M&M. The next one is going to be, oh, I could do two.
00:18:17
Speaker
Wait, I should have done dude. I should have taken the time I should have you should have used because I could have been you can't eat mother's It's too late. It's too late unless You know a little pause Okay Next all state hearing good hands. Do you have in five is your time starts in three seconds? Okay. Oh, this is a tough one. Oh
00:18:46
Speaker
All right, I'm gonna tell some jokes. I hope you like them. What did mother broom say to the baby broom? Time to go to sweep. What did the computer, why did the computer go to the doctor? Because he had a virus. Okay, Luke, you're up. All state.
00:19:16
Speaker
It's impossible to be in good hands with an insurance company. Okay, and third one I'm gonna give you. That was so hard, dude. Yeah, the last one I'm gonna give you is Dunkin Donuts. And the current one is
00:19:42
Speaker
America runs on Duncan. Ready? Can I like use part of their phrase for my phrase? You can like use Duncan. Like I can't expand upon their current catchphrase. No, and you're trying to give yourself extra time right now. It's time to start it out. Okay. Why do only some couples go to the gym? Well, that's because some relationships don't work out.
00:20:12
Speaker
Why is sausage bad for you? Well, because it brings out the worst in people. Have you seen those traffic circles or driven around them? Well, I think they, oh, that was a stupid one. I'm not even gonna finish that, that was so bad. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no idea? Okay, Luke here. No idea. Okay, ready? Yeah. Duncan, we give you two types of runs.
00:20:41
Speaker
Oh, nice. Thank you. Nice. What about this? Duncan, relax. It could, yeah, you could, yeah. But you don't want to relax when you have coffee. No. No, it'll get you buzzing.
00:21:11
Speaker
Has anyone checked the score of this fucking Vegas Golden Knights game yet? Nope. Didn't even know that was a thing. It was two to two. What is it now? It's still two to two. I'm concerned. It doesn't matter because the abs are already the champions. That's right. Um, and we just reached the point in our podcast where we get to make note and tell everyone that this is currently still an anti-laws podcast. Uh,
00:21:39
Speaker
Do not purchase laws whiskey yet until we say so because they still haven't given us anything. You know, for legal reasons and for potential future podcast guests. I feel like we shouldn't do that. Look, we're not saying don't drink it. We're saying don't drink it yet.
00:22:06
Speaker
Like wait, and then get a lot of it when this hits. Because when it hits, it's going to be huge. It's going to be the next big thing. What do they call that? They had like a Nickelodeon segment on next big thing, didn't they? With the NBT. Or was that big time BTR? That was a big time rush.
00:22:28
Speaker
put a year on to something. Do you remember the Disney thing? Maybe it was a Disney thing. Well, this
Unusual Collections on Disney Channel
00:22:35
Speaker
is different. There was one with Disney where they would just go find a random kid with a collection of things and then showcase that kid's collection on Disney Channel during a commercial break. I've never heard of that. Dude, you don't remember that?
00:22:56
Speaker
Uh, no. It was kind of creepy. Also, I'm looking up the next big thing, Nickelodeon, and it just was not a thing. Did you try Disney instead? No, I'm onto something else for our next segment. Oh, okay. What's our next segment? I'm gonna...
00:23:25
Speaker
give you a list of things that people have or have not been addicted to. And you tell me if I'm telling the truth, or if there actually isn't someone who's addicted to that. Okay, I think I can actually ace this. Okay.
00:23:54
Speaker
Okay, these are, by the way, all these true ones are ones that were on the TLC show, My Strange Addiction.
Exploring Strange Addictions
00:24:04
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Okay. I'm ready. Okay, here is the... Oh, hold on, hold on. I have to pull up chat GPT. Can you hear me chewing?
00:24:23
Speaker
Okay, sounds like you're typing, honestly. Like right now. Yeah, it sounds like you're typing. But I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure at the end of the episode. Okay, hold on. Give me addictions that would be on the show.
00:24:50
Speaker
My strange addiction. My strange addiction. Okay, this segment's brought to you by Gatorade. What can you put in your kit? Nice. All right, I have both lists up here. And we are ready to go. Okay, number one. This person was addicted to snorting
00:25:20
Speaker
Baby powder. Snorting baby powder. What do you think of what that could do for you? Like, like that's not gonna make you high, right? There's nothing in there. I have no idea. I'm gonna say no. Okay, well it was. And this lady snorted five ounces of it a day.
00:25:52
Speaker
Five ounces of baby powder up your nose a day? Did you give an explanation? Like, there can't be a good reason for that. Dude, the website just has a gif of her snorting baby powder. And the caption on the gif is, I'm addicted to snorting baby powder. That's all the information that you get? Yeah, they didn't give me anything else. That's fucking horrible. Holy shit.
00:26:21
Speaker
All right. Number two. This woman was addicted to sniffing and chewing dirty diapers. God, this one sounds real to me, but would you give me two real ones in a row? That's the thing. Is this a psychological game that we're playing right now? And something tells me that you are playing a psychological game.
00:26:49
Speaker
So I'm gonna go with yes. This is real. Yeah, it's real. Let's go. This is her just sniffing dirty diapers and she has like stashed away in a fucking drawer. Oh, you said sniffing? Sniffing and chewing. Okay, okay. Yeah, I thought you said chewing. Like, dude, that's fucked. Yeah, that's, that's like almost like pedophilic. And like,
00:27:19
Speaker
And like, how is that? That's not sanitary. Can you get like, just a horrific disease? Yeah. What the fuck is wrong with people? Okay, next. This person is addicted to wearing and snapping rubber bands on themselves all day long, finding the sensation soothing.
00:27:51
Speaker
That's totally Chad GPT. That's false. It's false. Let's go. This person is addicted to the smell of gasoline. 100% true. I could, dude, I could get addicted to fucking huff and gas.
00:28:19
Speaker
Dude, huff and puff and some gasoline. It's like when you were in like kindergarten and that person would come up to you with the Sharpie and then the teacher would ask you why you have Sharpie marks on the bottom of your nose. You have to explain that it wasn't your fault. Some kid did it and it wasn't you just fucking sniff, sniff, sniffing. And that kid who brought it to you is definitely like in jail now.
00:28:46
Speaker
Yeah, probably in jail at one point in his life. I was gonna say at one point in his life, he's definitely held and shot a gun that he does not own. And a person. I don't know if that's true. Okay, next. This person consumed large amounts of toothpaste a day.
00:29:20
Speaker
False. That's not specific enough. Wait, was the last one true, first of all? Yeah, the last one was true. Okay, this one's false. This one is also true. Go fuck yourself. No way. Large amounts? That's not specific. I'm not giving you specific things on purpose because you're trying to figure out if it's chat GPT or not.
00:29:46
Speaker
I was too... You're ruining the game by my phrasing. You're just supposed to... I'm not ruining the game. I'm just smart, you know? I'm fucking slick with it. You're so smart.
00:29:56
Speaker
I'm so smart. Okay, next. This guy ate glass for four years straight. I've seen this one. That's true. Oh, yeah, it is true. How does he do that for four years? I've always wondered that dude. I don't know he would eat light bulbs. I know and I tried one time and my tongue gets cut like it's so fucked up.
00:30:23
Speaker
Like I got it. I got to know what he had to have a technique. He had to.
00:30:28
Speaker
Also, what if you didn't chew the glass enough, you get a little shard coming out in your poop? Did you ever watch that show of like a thousand ways to die? Yeah, dude, we would watch it together. There were some crazy episodes in there. Like that guy who got like a bottle of shampoo stuck up his anus and then it like shattered. Yup. Yup.
00:30:53
Speaker
Oh my God, dude. Some of those, the woman who had the breast implants recently and when they inflated and popped. Yeah. Yeah. The water slide one always gives me nightmares. Do you remember that? Which one's the water slide one? They were like at a house that was like, they were finishing up construction. They made a water slide on like the
00:31:17
Speaker
wood panels and there was a nail in one of them. The first guy to go on a water slide like the nail just ripped down his whole stomach. Oh, dude, no. That's terrifying. I don't want to go on a water slide now. I know, right? Okay, ready? Here's we'll do two more. This woman said she was addicted to eating her house.
00:31:49
Speaker
eating her house. You think about this, okay? If you were addicted to eating your house, what would you eat? Would you eat the drywall? Would you eat? That's gotta be the only thing you could eat. Maybe the insulation, but that seems like it's unsafe. And drywall isn't?
00:32:15
Speaker
Drywall would at least be safe for them. Dude, there's like fiberglass. No, I know there's fiberglass in insulation, but you're saying that there are parts of your house that are safe to eat. I mean, if you're picking and choosing drywalls, gotta be the safest thing that you could eat in the house, right? What's safe for them? I guess, I guess, I guess.
00:32:36
Speaker
I'm going to say also, if you're eating your house at some point, you're going to run out of house. And then what you buy another house. That's expensive. I'm going to say false, but I think it might be true, but I'm going with false. It's true. She was eating her own house. And the picture that you see here is her going, I love the smell of drywall, the texture. I knew it. What did I say? I love everything about drywall.
00:33:09
Speaker
So, so what was she, was she tearing the drywall off her house or was she buying drywall individually? She was eating her house. She was tearing it off of the house. But you're going to run out of house. I don't know. What do you do then? I don't know. Stop asking me questions. What like these people. I, I want to watch that one. That's intriguing to me.
00:33:39
Speaker
Okay. Last one. This person said that their addiction was becoming a mermaid. Becoming a mermaid. So basically just like cross dressing. Yeah, kind of, but like in mermaid form and probably spending a lot of time in the water.
00:34:06
Speaker
So this seems like it could be so easily true, but is that enough to have an episode of my strange addictions? And I don't know if it is. I don't think that warrants an episode. Back in the day, that would have been really strange. Nowadays, there's so many people that would do that.
00:34:34
Speaker
Oh God, dude. This is so tough. I'm going to say false. It was true. And it was a man too. Um, but the worst one is the last one that I didn't even get to. And this is also true. The lady who was addicted to drinking her pee.
00:34:57
Speaker
And she would fill her neti pot with it and put it up her nose as well. Oh, dude. Why? God made so interesting creatures on this planet. Did you ever watch the one where the lady is addicted to getting boob implants? No, I never saw that.
00:35:20
Speaker
Dude, look up the lady right now. She wanted to go to triple K's and they were like, you're gonna die. Her boobs were half her body. That is disgusting. Yeah, repulsive. I gotta look at her now.
00:35:50
Speaker
Okay, I'm looking at comments on this feed.
00:35:54
Speaker
The top comment is I binge watched this show with a friend. Who else was annoyed because a lot of these people are dating or married while we're just sitting there normal and single. That's pretty good. Oh, this one, this lady agreed with you. I wonder why the lady that eats her house doesn't just go buy a drywall panel. Instead, she just destroys her house. Dude, that's what I'm saying. Crazy.
00:36:26
Speaker
Dude, yeah, this lady spent $250,000 on 22 breast enlargement surgeries to achieve 38 triple K size. Oh my god. And she is, she is more than half boob. She's more than half boob? She is more than half boob.
00:36:50
Speaker
Dude send me a picture. We'll post this on our we'll post it on our Instagram Okay, okay, dude. This is crazy. This is the side profile All right sending Now freeze
00:37:19
Speaker
Did you get it? No. Oh, it's still something. That's why. Oh. Derivered. Derivered these nuts. Dude, what the fuck? Oh my God. Yeah, right. What the hell is that? Like, like, doesn't make sense. What the hell is even that?
00:37:49
Speaker
Those are two like, like, what do you even, those are bigger than basketballs. I would say that's like, if you were to, if, Ruth, Ruth, Ruth, Ruth, Ruth shopping, Ruth, dude, that's like,
00:38:20
Speaker
I don't even know what, like there's nothing to compare to this, that size. Cause like it's bigger than a basketball. It's smaller than like a yoga ball. But I was thinking yoga ball, but like actually in the middle of those two. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good, that's a good way to describe it. Yeah. Um, I'm gonna, I'm posting this on our Instagram right now. Great idea. No caption.
00:38:49
Speaker
Dude, that's gotta give you back problems, right? What's our Instagram? Oh, there it is. You can't support those. Yeah, I just posted it. Yeah, so go check out the story. Oh, no, I posted it as a post. Oh, go check out the gram. Yeah, go check out the new gram. Let's see.
00:39:19
Speaker
Do we have any followers or no? Yeah, we have a few. Jack, I mean, come on, give us some credit. Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right. We're very interesting people. We are, we are an interesting group. Yeah, go check out the new post. Yeah, those are just fucking, those are just fucking big, dude.
00:39:50
Speaker
This woman is addicted to big boobs. Yeah, you gotta love it. You gotta love it. We're just here for big boobs. We're here for a good dying brother, you know. I'm here for a good time. Not a long time, you know.
00:40:19
Speaker
Well, that time, so that segment. Yeah. Um, and now we're going to move into our guest segment and here today brought to you our special guest of the week. Drum roll, please. Yeah.
00:41:12
Speaker
All right, there it is. What is the video? Okay, sorry. All right, this week, in this next segment, brought to you by... Brought to you by the... Brought to you by the roof...
00:41:34
Speaker
Rofe? Shopping cart. Rofe? Rofe shopping cart, guys. Special guest of the week is... All right, and now moving on to our next segment. We have something really special in store for you guys. Do we? What do you mean, do we? What is it?
00:42:03
Speaker
Dude, don't tell me you forgot. I forgot, Jack. Well, in honor of Star Wars Day coming up, may the fourth be with you, Luke and I are going to extend on to a previous segment from last week where we discuss the hottest animated characters in pop culture history.
00:42:35
Speaker
And yeah, I think that's about it, right? Wait, dude, I just, I'm so sorry. I just disassociated from reality. Can you repeat everything you just said from the beginning? Holy shit.
00:43:12
Speaker
It's like you said my name and I just I snapped back it like it was like Like I was hypnotized for like a minute there
00:43:22
Speaker
You got me so hypnotized the way your body rollin' round and round.
Lost in a Song
00:43:29
Speaker
That booty keep bumpin', tiddies just bouncin' up in the... So hypnotized the way your body rollin' round and round. That booty keep bouncin', tiddies just bouncin' like that girl on My Strange Addiction. Now do it some more, just do it some more.
00:43:48
Speaker
All right. Um, I'm going to start this segment off and I'm just going to see if you can catch on. Um, and we're going to start with Tinkerbell. Okay. Thoughts. What type of thoughts? All right. Well, let's try another one. Ariel. Is this like what I do?
00:44:20
Speaker
No, Luke, it's not, would you do them? It's disgusting. What is it? How misogynistic can one be? That's a gross, it's a gross topic to even phrase it like that. And I think that, you know, you need to really think again. Okay, so what are the thoughts? We're rating them on a scale from one to 10.
00:44:51
Speaker
Okay, Tinkerbell's at 11. Dude, that's so creepy. She's like three years old. No, she's not. She's like a million years old. She's a magical fairy. So you're saying you do a grandma? No, no. I'm saying that Tinkerbell.
00:45:19
Speaker
Tinkerbell is a heater and she's really small.
00:45:31
Speaker
You just got yourself put on the FBI ped list. It's the watch list. Dude, she's like a million years old. No, no, no. It's the watch list. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong yet, but they're just keeping an eye out on you. Okay, what's your answer? You got an answer. Dude, she's like two years old. No. I go, Jesus Christ. All right, moving on to... No, no, no, no. Tinkerbell age. It doesn't matter, dude. She's small.
00:46:03
Speaker
Tinkerbell is a fairy, not a human. So readers can infer that she may be very ancient. Ancient? Did you just say ancient? Yeah. Um, this Reddit post says that she could be anywhere from six months to 6,000 years old. So we could both be right. Yeah. Watch list. Okay. Ariel.
00:46:34
Speaker
Ariel is too young. What? She's like 15. Yeah, dude, that's too young. I'm kidding, dude. Now you're on the FBI watch list. Dude, she's like 15. She's not that young. So how old is Ariel? How old is Ariel? I'll look it up. She's 35.
00:47:01
Speaker
She's 16. Someone said 35. No, it says... Dude, it's called The Little Mermaid. There's no way she... No, this is Ariel's 18 year old, 18 years old in The Little Mermaid. No, you're making that up. I see it on a website. This is The Little Mermaid 2023 version. In Disney's animated movie, she's 16. It's because they sexualize everything now.
00:47:32
Speaker
Sure, okay, moving on. There we go. From Daphne Blake. I'll give her like a solid eight. I was gonna say like seven, three, seven, four. Yeah, yeah, somewhere around there. Okay, okay, great. Moving on, Lola Bunny.
00:48:02
Speaker
Oh. How do I navigate this correctly? 12 out of 10. 12 out of 10? Lola Bunny couldn't get it, dude. She could, but she's a bunny. She's a human bunny.
00:48:25
Speaker
You're right. She is a human bunny. Okay. All right. I'd say like, uh, maybe an eight one eight two. All right. One eight two, dude. That's low ball on it. There's no such thing as a perfect 10. Sorry. Live my life by that. Fair. All right. Cora from avatar. Seven one.
00:48:56
Speaker
I'd go like six, eight. It depends on her hair too. If it's the short hair, like, no, that's a good point. Yeah, that's, that's a, that's a good point. Okay. What about. Mulan. Yeah. Never had the hots for Mulan. Um, is Mulan even a female character?
00:49:22
Speaker
Yeah, she is. She is like a 5.6. I don't think I've ever seen the one. Okay. And finally, we have Dory. Dory is Ellen. No, Dory's not Ellen. No. Dory is Dory. Dory gets a one dude. Why? Even if she's not Ellen, because, because Dory's like,
00:49:52
Speaker
She's not even a hot fish and she's stupid. Really? Is there a hotter fish in that movie? Are you going to say the little baby octopus because you're selling to little kids? It's fucking disgusting, dude. It's sickening. You're such a ass. That octopus is like elementary school. It's gross. You said the octopus.
00:50:25
Speaker
Uh, yeah. Octo, have you ever seen Octo, pussy? No, I actually haven't. I haven't either. But it's referenced in one of my favorite movies ever. What, what movie? I'll give you a hint. Okay. And this is good. In this movie, the, one of the main characters is talking to his wife.
00:50:51
Speaker
And they're reminiscing about, you know, when they met. And the husband says that the first time they met, they went to a diner at two in the morning and Octopussy was on the TV. This is an Adam Sandler movie? Nope. It is a comedy. Is this a Will Ferrell movie?
00:51:25
Speaker
No, he's not in this one. Damn. But he has a movie with this actor. Is this like a Seth Rogen movie? No, it's a different Seth movie. Different Seth movie? Mm-hmm. Who's another Seth? Seth McFarlane?
00:51:55
Speaker
Yes. Ted. Bang. Bingo. Nice. Thank you. Thank you. Nice. Fucking nailed that. That's one of your favorite movies. One of them, but nothing beats Shrek 2 and then Shrek. And Forrest Gump is on there. I'm not gonna lie. Tobey Maguire Spider-Man is on there. I don't get the hype behind Shrek.
00:52:26
Speaker
What about Forrest Gump? It's okay. I see why people like it. Have you seen it since you turned 16? Yeah, didn't Miss Nijame put it on in medals class for us? That's high school. I'm talking about like recent, like in the last five years. No. I would recommend you watch it again, because it wasn't up there for me until I watched it again. And
00:52:55
Speaker
Now that I'm older, I understand so much more, uh, definitely worth a rewatch. But like, what is there to, what are you rediscovering with it? Well, the whole story with Jenny, you know, you finally kind of understand what was going on with her. You understand just, there's so many different little things. You just got to watch it again. People,
00:53:25
Speaker
Yeah. You know, I watched it again. Just do it. All right. All right. I will. I will. Probably not for a while, but. Probably not until I make you, which could be like three years. Is it on? What is it? Is it on anything? Yeah. I mean, there's so many things I need to watch right now. Like things.
00:53:56
Speaker
Paramount, YouTube, Hulu. Oh, Paramount. Okay, so that's on PrimeVid. Yeah. Okay, but what's... That can't be your favorite movie of all time. Pitch Perfect is up there. Pitch Perfect's great. Pitch Perfect's great. We love Pitch Perfect.
00:54:25
Speaker
If you go see Dune in Dune 2, Dune 2 might make your list. Yeah, Jordan is a huge Dune guy just raving about Dune. It's so good. It's so good. Yeah. And you get to say, what are you doing in my swamp? What are you doing in my swamp?
00:55:03
Speaker
God, what a great, that was a great meme. That was a great meme. That was a great meme. Dunes given us great memes. Great material. Shout out Akayla. Shout out Italy. Shout out... Do you think she listens to the pod? Yeah, I know she tunes in weekly.
00:55:24
Speaker
Actually, no, there's not a fucking shot. Shout out. Shout out LA. I'm going to LA this weekend. You can't just shout out LA. Well, shout out all the people in the scene in LA.
00:55:47
Speaker
I'm not really shouting out LA. I just like the people that I'm going to see. Hmm. Fair. Okay. It was one of them. Uh, cause we don't want to shout out like LeBron. Uh, shout out Jared. Shout out. Shout out Tiz. Yeah. But a specific non shout out of Fobel. Um,
00:56:14
Speaker
I'll shout out, it's a sandwich again, and our boy Bambren Bone. Shout out, hmm. Do you have any shout outs? Yeah, shout out the city of Denver. Ooh, shout out Denver. Shout out, no, shout out Avs. Shout out myself, because I could use a shout out every once in a while, you know? I like that a lot. Shout out us.
00:56:43
Speaker
Yeah, shout out us because we're some cool cats, you know? Right. No, I agree. I also want to shout out Codd and... Oh, well, so we have a winner from two episodes ago. Oh, we do. We need to shout them out. Yeah, shout out Wub. You won the $5 coupon.
00:57:11
Speaker
to TGI Fridays. So please do need to claim in person in South Carolina. So hopefully you can make it out here. It does expire by May 2nd at 10 a.m. Oh, yeah.
00:57:36
Speaker
So hopefully I'll see you before then. That's good fun Well to be fair like TGI Fridays gave us that coop like what? Two years ago when we started this shit. Yeah. Yeah true That's true because they were they were a founding sponsor, but we did sit on it for what TG also shadow Fridays. Oh
00:58:04
Speaker
The restaurant or the day? Shout out Fridays. Okay. That's all I'm saying. I can get behind that. Yeah. Shout out internet porn. That was such a wild shout out.
00:58:29
Speaker
Holy shit. Yeah, I guess, I guess you're not wrong, but, um, we should cut that out. Yeah. Yeah. No, maybe not though. Cause why not? No one, everyone watches porn, dude. Nice. I, for one,
00:58:57
Speaker
would never subject myself to such classless videography. Classless, what do you call it when it's like, it's anti, it's sacrilegious. Sacrilegious. Bad hates women, misogynistic.
00:59:20
Speaker
See, but I think something about it is empowering to women. It gives them a platform to really show them the true selves. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. And all I want to do is support them in the best way that I can. Yeah, so you have to tune in because otherwise, who else would?
00:59:43
Speaker
Right, because most people see it as a classless, misogynistic, sacrilegious buffoonry. Yeah, yeah, right, right. Okay, you've turned to my mind. Shout it out, shout out. Yeah, shout out, shout out porn.