Transcript
Speaker: This is a Headed Weest Podcast. And welcome in to Headed Weest. It is the billion dollar episode I said billion. Welcome to the pod.
Speaker: 2 billion, actually. Oh, is it 2 billion? Well, 1 .9, but you round up. Yeah. Do you round up, though? Because with taxes and everything, don't you only win 1 billion? Yeah, for this one, it would be a bill. The real question is, do you take lump sum, or do you take it yearly? You definitely take it yearly.
Speaker: I don't know, man. I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? You definitely would take it yearly. Here's the thing. If your state government runs out of money, you don't get paid. So just take the money now, you're guaranteed, and then you can get that yearly money back, just investing it.
Speaker: Yeah, I feel like if you won, you could just invest it and live off of even your investment profits for the rest of your life. Okay. You could also take the yearly and invest it. I think the yearly is still five or 10 million a year or something. The yearly is also a greater amount than the lump sum. Yeah. But also, I mean,
Speaker: Is five or 10 million a year investing? Like, I think that's pretty good. I don't think you can just like invest a straight billy anyways. Yeah. What's the first thing you would do? Sorry, Luke. What is the first thing you're going to do tomorrow when you win the billion dollars? Well, I'm going to quit my job. Okay. Become a gigolo. What is that? It's like a male prostitute.
Speaker: You're gonna mail process, you already do that. Yeah, but I'm gonna be selective. You know, I'm not just gonna jiggle over anybody out there anymore. Okay. And I'm gonna raise my prices. And I'm also gonna buy a year supply of Twinkies.
Speaker: Twinkies. Twinkies? A year supply of Twinkies is really like one Twinkie. You're going to buy one Twinkie with your billion dollars. I feel like you're judging me pretty hard right now for what I'm going to do with my money. It was a question and I just I wouldn't do what you're doing. My question is how many how many Twinkies?
Speaker: Jack's right, your supply is about one. Yeah, I don't think I've eaten more than one Twinkie per year. Yeah, I actually think it's been a few years since I've had one, you know, so it might average out to like 0 .2 Twinkies per year.
Speaker: Twinkies kind of suck. Can we agree? Yeah. I love Twinkies, but I just can't eat them ever or else I go into this mental state where I feel like I'm just the world's most disgusting person. I call it diabetic shock. Yeah, I think that's what it is, but without the actual diabetes. Yeah, 100%. It's like your blood sugar is out of whack.
Speaker: Gloop. Who the fuck named their kid that? This is a fat parents who had fat kid. Augustus Gloop. Just sounds like a fatso. Imagine you're fat and your last name is Gloop. You know how I'm bullying. Yes. That'd be so sad. Do you know what else would be sad? What? If you turned into a blueberry.
Speaker: just for meeting one Twinkie.
Speaker: Oh, because one of the girls did it. Yeah, it was a little bitch girl though. Yeah, it was violet. And she turned it better. Because it was a blueberry and you get it violet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get it? She sucks. Hey, blueberries are blue. Non violet. Did those kids die? I think so. I don't remember ever seeing them again. I think they just died. No, I think they got turned into candy.
Speaker: Well, one definitely got stretched. Oh, you know the guy who got sent to the taffy polar? Yeah, he definitely got turned into. Is that a euphemism? Yeah, I pulled on my taffy. I actually did this morning. I did like five minutes ago. Oh. Like literally right before this podcast. I, so in case you don't know, I have a passion for making candy.
Speaker: Oh, I had a taffy bachelor just finished so I had to pull it out. So I was pulling on it for a while. Oh, I see. How long does it take to pull your death? On average, two and a half minutes and people a lot of people think that's not a long time. But for taffy, it's a very long time. Two and a half minutes is a long time. That is I'm honestly impressed that you can pull your taffy for that long.
Speaker: Hey, think about running for two and a half minutes. It's too long, right? Yeah. I don't think I've ever run for two and a half minutes in my life. So two and a half minutes is too long. Yeah, that is too long. You know what else is too long? What?
Speaker: That was that was it. I give it a five. Yeah, five, five or six. Nothing impressive. No. You know, I wasn't aiming for anything there. So I'll take a five. Wasn't didn't someone get like eaten by like a hen in the Willy Wonka? How do you remember all these things? I literally I think you watch the movie like
Speaker: a few days ago. I actually haven't seen it and I want to say a year. Okay, I haven't seen it in a year ago. Way longer than a year. Yeah, a year is recent for me. Yeah, but it's like a classic. It's like, what's the old fucker's name? He was brilliant.
Speaker: He just died too. Fuck. William Shatner. No. Gene Wilder. He was like a all time. He was Scott play Willy Wonka. Yeah. White Wonka. Willy Wonka. The original Willy Wonka. The OG. Not Johnny Depp bullshit.
Speaker: Is Johnny Depp white? Do you know in the Johnny Depp version of Willy Wonka, the Chocolate River was actually produced by Amber Heard? The source of the river is Ben. Yes. I read that the other day and at first I was like, there's no fucking way. That makes a lot of sense. I rewatched the scene with it and everyone kind of looks a little off.
Speaker: I was like, okay, it makes sense now. Because it's got some stinks to it.
Speaker: They really didn't want to fall. Yeah, that would smell so bad. The poor Oompa Loompas. Yeah, my question is, why is it like that consistency? Her diet is very high in fiber. Yeah, like she is sick. No, fiber makes your poop solid. Oh, I meant fiber deficient. Sorry. Yeah, okay.
Speaker: I've got some experience in Chocolate Rivers, for sure. Do you? Yeah. About six years of experience. That's a lot of years. I understand it happening from time to time. No. No, like every day. I see. What? Is that not normal? That doesn't happen to me, no. Not going to say it does.
Speaker: Jack? What? Does that happen to you? Does what happen to me? Chocolate River. Depends what I have for dinner. Every day. Yeah. No, every day, no.
Speaker: Cause I don't, this might be a sensitive subject, but some people don't poop every day. Wait, excuse me. If you don't poop every day. I said this in the last episode, I, I stopped pooping on weekends. Are you like, for like action. For the Sabbath. Well, well that's Saturday for the Sabbath. Yeah. The Sunday one is out of spite. Um, no, like are you being for real? Yeah. I save it up for when I'm at work.
Speaker: That's actually a really good idea. That's kind of fair, I understand. But like how? What do you mean? How do you just? Not. Yeah, like, you know. Do you just load it up? The world does what it does. Sometimes you don't have a choice. Yeah, that's true. If you're weak, I'm built different, so. Do you close?
Speaker: Do you close it for the weekend? Yeah, I have a lock on the door actually. It's similar to a chastity belt. It's kind of like that. But anyway, it's November 7th, which means we're already hearing Christmas music and Christmas lights are going up.
Speaker: Now, I have two things to say about that. One, the Christmas music needs to be put on hold for at least another month. Disagree. Okay, go fuck yourself. And two, I was talking to Luke about this earlier. Now, I'm thinking this year since I'm Jewish, instead of hanging Christmas lights outside my house, I might just hang myself.
Speaker: then I wanted to know your thoughts on that. Is it gonna be a decoration for everybody to see? No, no, this is a private thing. It's just kind of, you know, why not? Then I'm gonna have to say no. But if you did it out, like, in the front tree, I think then that's okay. And you, um, you wrap some
Speaker: Christmas lights around the ear. Maybe I get one of those sumo suits and paint it red like an ornament. And then I get in that and then I hang myself. Okay, see, now you're kind of getting onto something. So what I'm saying is why are we settling for just okay? We're not settling.
Speaker: Well, we need to go above and beyond. Okay. I think you should get... No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. I think you should get fully painted up red or green. I should paint myself like red face. Someone can do it for you. Whatever. What if I just put a scarlet letter on my chest?
Speaker: No. Like from the book The Scarlet Letter. Yeah, no. You need to be fully engulfed in this color. I'm so upset that you just tried to make a book reference on this podcast. Yeah, that's why I just glossed over it. The only reason I know that is from that Emma Stone movie, or is it Emma Watson?
Speaker: They're all just Emma. I think it's Emma Watson and she's like a high school slut.
Speaker: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker: It melts in the winter when it gets really hot and then it melts. It melts into snow. Well, Emma Snow lives on the equator. Does it get hotter in the winter on the equator? I don't know. In the southern hemisphere. Yeah, in the southern.
Speaker: I think we should go visit Ecuador for the winter. If it gets colder somewhere, it has to be hotter somewhere else. That's Newton's fifth law of physics. Oh. Everything is created with equal or opposite heat. This is why you can't find two smarter people in the world. In the world. And Fogel, you're most certainly not included in that statistic.
Speaker: Well, listen, listen, I'll leave it to you too. Okay. Oh, by the way, guys, we have a guest on today. Uh, David Fogel, he's been on the pod before. He is from Los Angeles, California. Um, and he's about as Jewish as it gets. So Fogel, thanks for coming back. Thanks for being on the pod. Um, and,
Speaker: I got a question for Fogo. Oh, yeah. You go ahead. I had one too, but you go. Okay. We'll, we'll, we'll shoot them off. Um, Fogo, when you pee, do you take your balls out of your pants or do you leave them in your pants and just go shaft out? Like if I am. You're out of urinal in public. Yep.
Speaker: But there are good walls on both sides of you, like good dividers. That's a good question. I'm trying to think. Let's not even specify this. Just generally, you're peeing. There's a urinal. Maybe it's a trough. Maybe you got good dividers. Maybe you're in a stall. Are the balls out? I think so.
Speaker: you think so, what do you mean? Yeah, no, no, they're out. They're out. They're out. Okay, good. Here's the thing. I was just like, I think the only time it hasn't been that way is if I'm like,
Speaker: Maybe I have a belt on and I'm doing the through the zipper type thing, but that sucks. I've never gone through the zipper, but I see what you're saying with the belt. Have you ever gone through the zipper? No, I just crammed the shaft out at that point. The zipper's useless.
Speaker: The little pee hole, the trap door, it doesn't make sense. What do you mean? It's there for the reason. Are you insane? But it's kind of dangerous in the pain of smudging your package around. Oh my god. You guys scare me. Wait, what did I even say?
Speaker: Because the same side is in here. I just in the jacket that falls in here. Yeah. In that series? Yes. That's psychotic. Wait, actual? Yes. Do you know how much effort it takes to bring those potato sacks out?
Speaker: You're joking. You're in. I'm in. I've never in my life heard of someone being out. But then you got your waistband like pushing. No, no, no, no. Choking you out though. I hold my hand down there. That pulls down the waistband so it's all free moving. There's no strangulation, no nothing.
Speaker: But then your balls are out at that. Are you stupid? No, you don't understand what I'm saying. Yes, I think I do. And I think it's below the shaft above the balls. And I'm relieving pressure with my hand of the waistband. I got it. I got it. Can you talk me through this? I'm going to try. I think I see what you're saying. I think I see what you're saying. You're not lowering the the
Speaker: The waistband is not below the balls. I understand. But under the shaft. But there's separation between the two. Is this a one hand move? And therefore they're out. Yeah, it's a one hand. It's a one hand move. Therefore they're out. No, they're not. They're still. I think that's out. The waistband is still above and over the balls. OK, I got a question for you. So I'm trying to re -enact today so I can visualize it.
Speaker: So you're one -handed. Are you grabbing the shaft like chopsticks, two fingers, and then the other three fingers? No. Wait, did you say one -handed? Listen, listen, listen. So you have the waistband below the shaft, right?
Speaker: Sure. Yeah. I got the thumb directly touching the bottom of the shaft so I can aim. Okay. Then everything else is below and underneath, and I'm just using the other three fingers in the thumb to kind of keep the waistband down. Interesting. That's very low stability, I'm going to be honest with you. Yeah. I think that's the problem.
Speaker: I mean, if you're pulling your waistband down, are you also doing that with only one hand? It's all one hand. No, that see that. No, that's not okay. It has to be a two hat. You have to have one hand exclusively. You're saying when you pee, you have to use both hands. No, no, no, I use one hand to pull
Speaker: My pants all the way underneath the sack. Correct. And then the whole thing is out and then I can aim with one hand. I can do the rest with one hand, but I have one hand. Isn't the waistband just tugging up on your nut sack? No, because my hand is there as a barrier between my waistband and my nuts. Yes.
Speaker: I'm lost and I've gone on on this topic. We've gone on for too long. I thought this was just how you do it.
Speaker: dude so did I and then I asked like I pulled like 10 dudes and it's like split down the middle 5050 are you serious I'm serious okay see I just you're a man and you're listening to this which is 99 % of who listens to this shit please send something in and let us know if you're above or below the ball sack pisser okay so I have a question
Speaker: Really quick side question. Do you think that's a learned thing or a taught thing? I think it's a trial and error. Or did we just learn to do it the way we do it? It's like jerking off. It just happens naturally and you figure it out by yourself. Wait, no. There's something deeper here. OK. You kind of know what I'm saying. When you're getting potty trained. Yeah. Right. Is your mom just showing you how to whip it out?
Speaker: I'm sure your dad is. I, I was potty drained by my mother cause I had to stay at home mom. I think that's kind of a fact too. I mean, of course, like Oh man, I don't know.
Speaker: That's a great question. And honestly, kind of a disturbing question and kind of something I don't want to think about. No, this is the podcast at the forefront of knowledge, okay? We need
Speaker: Yeah, apparently I'm talking to the two smartest people in the world. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, we did not say that. We said you could not find, yes, we did not say you could find two other people collectively as smart as us. Okay, fine. I'm talking to the two people who are collectively the smartest duo in the world. Hi, Jack Friedman. How you doing?
Speaker: Oh, all right. Maybe you should retract. At the end of this podcast, I need both of you on there to ask whoever potty trained you if they taught you how to whip it out. I'm going to I'm going to 100%. Okay, good. Because now I'm thinking about it. And I don't know. I don't know either.
Speaker: We gotta, we gotta figure it out. It's kind of like, it's kind of like, have you heard about the, I'm sure you guys have heard about the like split on like how you wipe. Some people stand up. I'm a stander. I'm a stander as well. Yeah, I'm a stander as well. I think that's how you should do it. I think it's just more hygienic that way. Also, I don't want to dip my hand in the fucking toilet. Yeah, agreed.
Speaker: Yeah, your hand gets way too close to the water. The argument for the other side makes no sense. They always say, once you stand up, your cheeks clap and they close. That's just not true. Okay, first of all, it's not true. Second of all, you wipe for a reason. Exactly. Even if it is true,
Speaker: There's a reason to clean yourself. Yeah, you're getting rid of it. Even if it did touch, so what? It's going to be gone after the wipe. Yeah. So I think sitting is just completely inferior. Yeah. I think people who do that, um, should be executed. Okay. Okay. Um, okay. I'm glad we got that out of the way.
Speaker: I got a tangent question with this though. Okay. Do you wipe front to back or back to front? Excuse me? Because this is also another spool. Is it? It's front to back. It's front to back and that's the only answer. You'd be surprised.
Speaker: No. I think maybe if you're sitting, you maybe have to go back to front. And that's another reason you shouldn't be sitting. Series because then you're you're like your arm could like literally get in the yeah in the butt in you could have a hot dog arm, you know? Yeah. And then sometimes like, listen, sometimes you just gotta you just gotta, you know, like it's a weird shape.
Speaker: And it's kind of like not evenly dispensed in the water. True. And it's just a dangerous case. I tuned out for a second. And I heard those last few phrases. And I've decided I think it's time for us to move on. I agree. OK, Jack, what was your question? With that being said. Yeah, what was your question for me?
Speaker: I was waiting for that one. My question to you, Fogle. Okay. Is do you think that you could eat a full rotisserie chicken for 40 straight days? I saw that shit. No. You don't think you could do it? Is there incentive?
Speaker: Yes, you get to be the guy who did it for 41 straight days. That's it? You're probably going to put in the Guinness Book of World Records. No, I wouldn't do it. I could if there was a better incentive, sure. Okay, how about this? $1 .9 billion.
Speaker: Sure. Is it that hard to eat one rotisserie chicken a day? I think you'd be surprised. I don't think I'd be surprised. I was thinking about this. You would think that someone else would have done this before this week when we saw this stuff. I think eating a full rotisserie chicken every day for over a month has got to be very difficult. I don't think they're that big, bro.
Speaker: They are. It's not like you have to eat it. There are small rotisserie chickens. True. I'm sure these are regular sized rotisserie chickens. I don't know, bro. They're literally single, like single serving chickens. Like, like, have you never ordered like, like a restaurant like a half chicken or something? True. That's like half of a chicken. Yeah, one half a chicken.
Speaker: Two meals, full chicken. Okay. So picture, even if it's your favorite food on the planet and you have to eat it for 40 days straight, don't you think it's going to get a little bland and you're going to start to hate yourself? Yes, but that's why I'm saying there's incentive. Exactly. Exactly. $1 .9 billion, easy money. There was no incentive for this man.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. No, this guy's crazy. I would never, because - Also, if over the billion dollars was just a ruse, you don't actually get it, but you think you're going to get it the whole time. Shut up. Shut up. You fucking idiot. Okay. You have to pay chicken tax on that. You're going to get paid out 30 bucks. Listen, listen. Dude. What? Oh, wait. Sorry. Go, Fogo. The rotisserie chickens, though, are pretty gas.
Speaker: So it's true. Usually there's so many chickens are getting up Costco. You would shop at Costco.
Speaker: Should I ask Elon Musk to match the Powerball jackpot for me if I eat rotisserie chicken for 41 straight days? Yeah, you should. Isn't there that guy on TikTok who's been eating pizza backwards until Elon Musk buys him a Tesla and he's been doing it for like two years?
Speaker: But that's not a big enough mistake. Dude, he's got to go after someone more accessible, like Mr. Beast. That's fair. Oh, honestly, that could be a video. That's fair. I found this off -brand Mr. Beast on the internet, and he's this really fat guy who kind of looks like Mr. Beast, and he calls himself Mr. Feast. I was just going to ask if that was his name.
Speaker: That's, that's good. Yeah. Mr. Feast. Mr. Feast. I wouldn't be Mr. Feast if it meant I got $1 .9 billion. Sure. How many tickets would you have to buy for it to make a significant impact on your chances to win this?
Speaker: What do you define as a significant impact, like a 10 % chance of winning? No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying like half a percent. Well, aren't the odds like 1 in 15 quadrillion? Something like that. Well, let's see how many people buy a ticket.
Speaker: It's not even that though. You could, you could buy all of the tickets and you could still not win. I understand. Okay. So the awesome one in 292 million. So, so in order to get half of a percent of that, they can either calculate 3000 maybe just multiply that number by 0 .00505.
Speaker: You would need to buy 14 .6 million tickets. And then multiply that by two? Or did you already want 1 %? No, no. There's a one in 256 ,000. Multiply it by two for me. For what? Whatever, how many tickets you have to buy. Multiply it by two.
Speaker: Oh, oh, because if you go in, okay, so it's 29 .2. So that's 29 .2 million dollars you'd have to spend. That math makes no sense. Wait, how? A ticket is worth two bucks. What'd you say the chances are? One in 200 something thousand? Oh, wait, wait, I did 5%. Okay, so 292.
Speaker: times 0 .005 is 1 .46. So 2 .92 million dollars. To get half of a percent chance. If you have a billion dollars, just go buy 292 million tickets. You'll get another bill.
Speaker: Yeah. That only gives you a 50 % chance. Okay. So by 500 million, 600 million. But then you get taxed on all of it and then you get taxed on the money you get back. It's probably not worth it in the end. But for 1 .9 bill, you spend 600 mil, you make a bill. Oh, Luke, the drive happened. We can check if we won.
Speaker: Okay, this is this should I do it now or I think we should wait cuz if Like when we win, we don't want people to know Okay, so just just go check the numbers and show no emotion whatsoever and then text me Okay, bro, what? This is pertinent information that's fair This is life -changing
Speaker: Well, it says getting the results checked back in a little while. Have they done the drawing? Supposed to be 1059. I'm checking. Powerball numbers today. Oh, results pending. For today, the results are pending? Yeah. How are they still pending?
Speaker: Uh, they're probably like, I don't know. See the cash is only 929 .1 million. Yeah. If you took it right now. Yeah. I'll take my 929, you know? Yeah. It's just kind of a sham, you know? Yeah. I mean, they, they definitely get you with the numbers.
Speaker: Luke, how does it feel to have your life about to be changed forever? I think I'd give Fogle like 20 bucks. That's it. I think I'd give you 20 bucks. What do you mean that's it? 20 bucks. Yeah. Jesus. What are you expecting? At least like a nice dinner. A nice, okay. I'll take you to a nice dinner and then I'll pay five bucks. No, I don't want any money. Just take me to a nice dinner.
Speaker: What? Is the nice dinner at Noodles & Company?
Speaker: No, it's a Panda Express. That's worth it. You can probably buy him a meal for less than $20. Oh, definitely. A Panda Express? I could buy him the most elegant meal from Panda Express and I'd spend 18 bucks. Yeah, but inflation, Jack. Thanks, China Joe. Oh, you're right. Dude, China Joe's got us fucked up.
Speaker: Sleepy, oh sleepy Joe or sleepy Joe. It's both he's both. Okay Yeah, it would probably be like nineteen dollars and eighty cents, but still under 20 Is it true that his son is a transvestite? Yeah Yeah, that's exactly by the New York Times actually. Oh, I thought that was a WSA It might have been both
Speaker: you know the leading the cutting edge of the news to be honest our news outlets don't cover the important stuff like i had to find out from tick tock that this guy had eaten 40 chickens yeah i agree honestly they don't cover the important stuff no very true
Speaker: I saw a blind guy today. I tell you that. No, you didn't. That was me. You bastard. I definitely saw a blind guy today. Maybe we both saw a blind guy. Oh, he didn't? Why not? No. He wasn't looking my way. Oh, okay. Yeah. Sometimes I have these days where I wonder what it's like to be blind, right? Yeah, me too.
Speaker: happens a lot. What? I work with a lot of blind people. So sometimes I think about what it would be like to be blind. What is your job? I work at an eye doctor. So wait, okay, wait.
Speaker: If they're blind, their eyes don't work. Yeah, why are they an eye doctor? Well, because there's a difference between being blind and having zero vision. I'm talking zero vision here. Yeah. But also even if you need even if you have zero vision, sometimes you have like a problem with your eyes. So you still have to go so it doesn't
Speaker: Like what, what problems? Well, if you have like, uh, some people have like weird, uh, I don't even know what to call it. It's like a growth on their eye when their eyes stop working. So like you'll, you'll go blind and your eye will like basically stop being used. And so it like atrophies and gets all fucked up.
Speaker: And so you need to like, I thought they'd had enough problems already. No, no. Usually blind eyes are like have issues because they're blind also. Have you ever seen, isn't that an expression? I turned my blind eye. Turn a blind eye. I'll turn eight. But what if it's mine? Then it's yours. Yeah, it is. I think. Yeah.
Speaker: Do you want to know another expression I'm kind of annoyed about? What? It's this whole on a scale from one to 10, because my scale goes way higher than 10. What does it go to? I don't need to specify that, but I can tell you it's way higher than 10. Yeah, that's that's pretty ableist of people.
Speaker: Honestly, who the fuck steps on a scale and sees a 10? Okay, I'm gonna be honest. I think I think you're just bigger than the average person.
Speaker: Are you calling him fat? Wait, sorry. David, I didn't hear that. Can you say it again? I think you're just... Yeah, fuck you, idiot. Yeah, that was enough body shaming. Yeah, get the fuck out of here. I'll mute the shit out of you. He probably doesn't even know how to turn himself back on. You fucking idiot. You can turn yourself - You can turn your compliment in some regions. It can be a compliment. What? What? Hey.
Speaker: Luke yeah, I got I Got something to tell you but It's secret. Okay. Okay Fogle can't know so don't tell my okay Yeah Stupid
Speaker: good thing he can't understand our secret language he's also
Speaker: I think I just lost so many fucking brain cells. And that brings us to our ad read. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Can I do it?
Speaker: You can do one of them, yeah. Which one do you want to do? Do you want to do that first? No way! I was gonna do it! Just listen, just listen. Okay, okay. This sponsored program was
Speaker: by UPS. What can Brown do for you?
Speaker: Man, have you guys been talking for the past few minutes? I haven't been able to understand a single word. Yeah. Sorry. We'll switch back. Thanks to UPS for sponsoring this podcast and specifically this episode of Headed Weast.
Speaker: This podcast is also brought to you by Gatorade. What can you put in your kid? Gatorade, the number one sponsor of Headed Weest. And finally, this podcast is brought to you by Disney+. Watch all the old movies you want on Disney+. Wow, UPS really stepped up their marketing game recently. Yeah, they've done a great job.
Speaker: I don't know. Sometimes I think I should be in marketing. And then I see something like UPS. And I just know that there's no way I could do that kid. Yeah, only like a messed out man could think of those crazy things. Have you ever seen those tiktoks?
Speaker: This guy like runs outside and he goes, Hey, Doug, Liberty, it's an insurance company. Come on, give me something. The guy goes, you're a goddamn genius. But have you seen? Oh, no.
Speaker: What happened? How you lose to the Miami Dolphins? Oh no. Shout out James Draws right now. Holy shit, we should get him on the pod.
Speaker: Dude, that would be electric. I could only imagine him going, head of wheezed, what happened? How you only have two viewers?
Speaker: I don't think we're big enough for him, to be honest. I think he's in the big leagues. Dude, he's way too big for us now. I saw him in the locker room of a college football game on Saturday, and he was fucking screaming. I don't know who it was, but he was screaming the other team. He was like, what happened? And everyone was going crazy. Dude, that guy's a fucking legend. He's my favorite person on TikTok right now, by far.
Speaker: Was it the LSU game? No, not that big. Very popular. I can't wait till the Super Bowl happens and the NFL flies him in to go to whatever team. I would love if he was the halftime show and whoever's losing, he just gets up there and just, Tampa Bay, what happened?
Speaker: Good In other news Drake has come out as gay and is actually now dating 21 savage Okay, this is not surprising. Yeah, do you know on savages British? Yeah Kind of weird There's um
Speaker: uh some quote from some stripper that drake hooked up with oh sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry my bad i was gonna play the snippet that's fair go ahead there's some there's some quote from some stripper that he hooked up with or something saying that he likes to get his ass eaten from the front from the front
Speaker: Yeah, like his legs are up in the air. Are you sure she said he doesn't like to eat ass from the front? No, no, no, no. I am sure. He likes his ass eaten from the front. He puts his legs up in the air. He likes getting it munched. Can I play this snippet really quick? Yeah. All right. Sure. This is from Rich Flex off Drake's new album.
Speaker: 21 Can you do some for me? Can you hit a lil wrist flex for me? 21 Can you do some for me? Drop some bars til my pussy aches for me 21 Can you talk to the opps next for me? 21 Do your thing, 21 Do your thing, 21 Do your thing, 21 Do your thing, 21
Speaker: So when he says do yo thing 21, do yo thing, what do you think he means by that? He wants 21 to throw it back. I was thinking he wants 21 to eat him from the front. That could be true too.
Speaker: This would be weird because then he'd be a triple minority. He'd be a black, gay Jew. We went over this, Luke. First of all, I don't think anybody is surprised that Drake is fruity. Is anyone surprised that Drake is Jewish?
Speaker: Yes, I'm way more surprised that he's Jewish than that he's fruity. And I've known he's Jewish. Now, is he fruity because he's a Jew or is he? No, no, no, no. He's just fruity. Is he Jewish because he's fruity? Oh. By the way, this is a pro. This is a non anti Jew podcast. I think he's juicy because he's fruity. No, that's 21. Oh.
Speaker: 21 got deported from the US for a bit. When he's asking 21 to do something for him, do you think something's going down in the studio?
Speaker: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking 21's on the other side of the glass. Like busting it down? With a wife meter on. Oh. And a Borat thong on the bottom. Okay. And maybe a bandana on his head and a lollipop in his mouth. And he's just kind of like teasing Drake a little bit. And Drake's like, 21, can you do something for me?
Speaker: I think that he's in the studio with him on the same side of the glass. And they just recorded their sex tape and made it. But wouldn't you be able to hear 21 throwing it back? Well, that's why you have all those fancy microphones and sound editing. Yeah, I know. But if you want a good mic, it's going to pick up a lot of noise. But you can set a threshold so it won't.
Speaker: Plus, like it's probably a steady sound that you can consistently get rid of. Yeah. You know, just like. Yes. All you need to do is take Fogo sound wave right there and then just subtract it. If you could be any food, what would you be? 21.
Speaker: I think that's I guess he is a snack for drink. Yeah. How about you? Um, probably. Well, there's an obvious answer here. And then there's more creative answer. Which one do you want? Both. But no, which one do you want? You have to pick. I get one only. Yeah.
Speaker: Give me the obvious one, honestly. Alright, I'm gonna give you the creative one. I think I'd be cake. That's not a fruit, Jack. What? I didn't - I said food! Oh. Shit. Whoops. Cake is solid. Yeah, I'd be cake. Yeah.
Speaker: Do you have cake? Do I have cake? You got cake. I'm sorry. That was a rhetorical question. It wasn't, but it should have been. The caboose. At my university, they called me the caboose for that reason. Really? No, they called me retarded. Yeah, but now we call them the caboose. Yeah, because I'm the slowest one.
Speaker: No, you take up the back. I feel like chicken parm wouldn't be a bad choice for me, because I'm a little bit of everything. Really quickly. I'm multicultural. I feel like I could be Italian, but I'm kind of not. Oh, my God. You're one of those, I went abroad and was never the same. No, I'm not. Luke went abroad and he was never the same. Actually,
Speaker: Kind of true. Yeah. But in a bad way. Except he was abroad for a week. Now I'm just depressed. That's better. I went abroad and now I'm just depressed. Oh my god, tweet that right now. I'm twoting. I'm twoting as well. What food would I want to be? That's a good question. I think I would want to be anchovies.
Speaker: Well, wait, wait, wait. What, in what capacity am I this food? Every capacity. But do I like, am I alive? Yeah, you're alive. You're like the sausage party food. Yep. Okay. So I'm just a, I'm like basically just a person in food. Yeah. A little bit extra horny. Okay. Uh, something fucking massive then.
Speaker: Like eggplant? Like a baby corn? Yeah, that is pretty big, actually. People underestimate the size of baby corn. Baby corn is so good, by the way. It's definitely sufficient.
Speaker: I agree. I don't want a bigger baby corn. I couldn't take. I couldn't handle. I couldn't eat more than one baby corn, probably. Yeah, I couldn't handle a baby corn. I only had like a quarter of a baby corn in my mouth at one time. Yeah, that's why my favorite food is candy corn. Because you just get one of the little corns. Yeah, and then I'm full. It's perfect. I don't eat anything else. I could honestly eat one for breakfast, one for lunch, one for dinner, and I'd be totally fine.
Speaker: You know what I could eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Eggs. Rotisserie chicken. Rotisserie chicken. You fucks. I'm just saying, I'm the man for the job. I knew it. Who has a murder going on in their background? Dude, I live in Columbia. What do you expect? Yeah, that's right.
Speaker: And you know what time it is. It's our time to go over our sports betting picks for tomorrow, which is Wednesday or Tuesday, November 8th. I'm your NHL guy. Luke is your NBA guy and Fogle can suck my nuts. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm just kidding. Jesus.
Speaker: So would you want to go ahead and give your, uh, your picks for tomorrow? No, I think Luke should go and I can see if I disagree with any of his. All right. Okay. So tomorrow is Tuesday, the eighth. Uh, as far as the, I'm going to take the referees because nobody plays tomorrow. Yep.
Speaker: That is terrific. Do you want to do Wednesday then instead? That's so, why doesn't anyone play tomorrow? Cause it's the voting day. It's voting day. Oh yeah. Everyone go out to the polls. Fuck. I said, okay. I was going to vote anyways. I do Wednesday the 9th. All right. Uh, let's see, we're going to take the nuggets over the paces, the maps over the magic.
Speaker: I'm gonna say that you know what the hornets shock the blazers Then I'm gonna take the Celtics over the Pistons Raptors over the Rockets Jazz are gonna continue their hot streak and beat the Hawks The Nets are gonna fall to the Knicks The Bucks are gonna poop on the Thunder aggressively like liquid the
Speaker: Pelicans are struggling coming off of back -to -back. They're gonna lose to the Bulls The Grizzlies will beat the Spurs and The Suns versus the Timberwolves. That's a that's a tight matchup. I'm gonna say Timberwolves I'm sorry to say this but the Pelicans are not coming off of back -to -back Yeah, they played because Tuesday
Speaker: Yeah. Okay. The Pelicans are going to beat the bulls. The Grizzlies are going to beat the Spurs. Timberwolves are going to beat the Suns. Lakers are going to get their third win against the Clippers, and the Cavs are going to beat the Kings. All right, Mr. Fogle. So, it looks like nobody on the Lakers is playing, at least today.
Speaker: And if that continues, then there's no way they get their third win. Hey, load management. All right. But Kawhi also, I don't think is playing. So there is no chance in fuck that Michael Jordan's Hornets beat the Trailblazers. I'm just going to say it right now. I don't care if Dame isn't playing. There is no way. The Blazers are pretenders. The Nuggets are definitely going to get a dub.
Speaker: I'm going to give it to the Hawks. I don't think the Jazz are good. I don't think the Hawks are good either. I don't think the Hawks are good either. True. But yeah, I'll give you that. The Knicks probably take the dub. The Nets are in shambles. The Nets are in absolute shambles. Yep. Yeah, I kind of agree with it down the list, except maybe that Trailblazers one.
Speaker: We'll see. We'll see what happens come Wednesday. Well, there's your NBA picks for Wednesday the 9th. And going into the NHL with the Dallas Stars thing on the Winnipeg Jets in Winnipeg, I think that the Stars are going to win this one. It's going to be a close one. Nailbiter probably going to overtime. So I'm going to take the Jets as a safe bet plus one and a half. Sabres are going to roll all over the Arizona Coyotes who should be an AHL team.
Speaker: Their arena looks like it too. I'm gonna take the red wings at home over the Canadians I'm gonna take the senators by two or three over the Canucks I'm gonna take the Flyers at home over the back -to -back blues who suck and That's probably all I'm gonna touch tomorrow and that has been your
Speaker: sports bets picks of the day or two days, whatever it may be. Shout out to the Houston cheaters for winning their second world series in three years. Yeah. Okay. Can we, can we, can we, no, we can't. Nope. No. Um, I'll also have, you know,
Speaker: The Arizona Coyotes have sold out every game that they've had this year. 4 ,000 seats. A sellout. It's a sellout, Jack. Shut up. Just saying. You guys want to hear some jokes for the last two minutes? Maybe. Are they good? Yeah, they are good. So do you want to hear them or not? Eh.
Speaker: Sure. So today I ordered a rotisserie chicken and egg from Amazon. And I'll let you know. Oh, okay. How much does Tom Brady charge for corn? Um, not a lot.
Speaker: He gives a shit? I don't know. It could, uh, I don't know. 75 cents. It's a buccaneer, but you get a quarterback. I don't care why Marvel doesn't use the Hulk more in their advertising. He's basically one big banner. Where do boats go when they're sick?
Speaker: to the doc. I donated four liters of blood today, never doing it again though. They ask way too many questions. Whose blood is this? Where did you get it from? Why do you have it? Yeah, that last one was weak. My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop speaking in Star Wars quotes. Divorce is strong with this one. My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop speaking in Star Wars quotes.
Speaker: Divorce is strong with this one. A man walks into an alley and says,
