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Is Luke Wilson real and can a whale explode in Ethiopia? Asking for a friend...
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Transcript
Recording Bloopers and Social Media Mishaps
00:00:01
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, dude. Are you gonna play the thing? Yeah, I'm gonna fucking play the thing, okay? Guys, we can't be making noise during the intro. I just... Jack, just play the thing.
00:00:46
Speaker
It's take two because Luke fucked up the first 15 minutes of the last recording. So welcome to take two. If you're wondering why this week's episode is not an hour, now you know. It's my fault. I take blame. I'm mostly upset though that now they're not going to get to hear me almost pooping the bed. Yeah, that was a good start. There are only so many things, yeah.
00:00:50
Speaker
I heard that.
00:01:15
Speaker
That's true. That audio is saved somewhere. Maybe we'll put it on our Instagram or something. Oh, that's a good idea, actually. A little bonus snippet. Yeah, a little teaser. OK. Yeah, a little. OK, so go follow us on Instagram. Luke, do you know the handle? Because I haven't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stall them for 30 seconds. Yeah, of course. What's a Karen's pronouns?
00:01:45
Speaker
What? Sue them. Nice. Nice. I bought a high-priced calculator to do multiplication, but I only used it once. That was one expensive product. Okay, I got it. Ready? Multiplication. Yeah, you got it. The handle is headed waste. Dude.
00:02:14
Speaker
It's first off, that's just wrong, because there needs to be an app symbol there. And then second off, is there like an underscore in there at all? Or is it just- Nope, it's just 10. I was just headed. We just got an Instagram notification. Oh, Will Laws started following you. Oh, that's you.
Introducing Guest Will Laws aka WUB
00:02:37
Speaker
Oh shit.
00:02:39
Speaker
Oh, yes. Speaking of which, yeah. Yeah. Um, do you want to tell our, uh, dedicated, I have to say dedicated because they are, they truly are dedicated listeners who our guest is, uh, this week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This is going to be an even better introduction. This man is bigger than Nyan cat that like video from a long time ago.
00:03:09
Speaker
In Ellen DeGeneres combined I Heard she as she switched sides of the plate. Actually, she's back on the straight side We Yeah, she's ambidextrous. I think is the right word. Oh, it goes both ways damn Wow, so I Think that's it. Yeah, I think you hit right on the head. Yeah now I
00:03:38
Speaker
But this is Will laws. Yeah, welcome. Welcome to headed wheezed Will, aka WUB. It's a pleasure to have you. It's a pleasure to be here. I know I've already said this once before, but it's just so exciting to
00:03:59
Speaker
have another guest on the pod that's not our typical two. So here we are. Here we are.
Breakfast Anecdotes and Ethiopia Humor
00:04:10
Speaker
I'm excited for this three-way action that we're about to get down to for the next 40 minutes. Yeah, that's not how I'd phrase it, but sure. I got a question for you. That's exactly how I'd phrase it. If you had to pick a single, just so everyone can get to know you, if you had to pick a single
00:04:29
Speaker
place to go to breakfast. Where would you go? And then what's the most obscure thing on their menu that you remember? Wow. That's a great question. First of all. And I think this might be a little, this might be a basic answer here, but I'm going to go with IHOP. I love that. The International House of Pancakes. It does no wrong.
00:05:00
Speaker
and their eggs Benedict. Go hard. That's all. Are you a Benny man? I'm a Benny man. Hey, do you remember when they were IHAB? Yeah, for like a week or whatever. Yeah, International House of Benedict. Didn't see that one coming. No, I really didn't. That was good. That was good thinking.
00:05:26
Speaker
Yeah, I know. It's a good place. It's a good spot. They got a lot of hard-working people at that IHOP there. Can I give you my answer? I would love to hear your answer. I would go to Ethiopia.
00:05:45
Speaker
And the most obscure thing on the menu that I would order would probably be water. What a curveball that was. That's so out of pocket. What did Ethiopia ever do to you? Holy. I just really got that one South Park episode stuck in my head with either Nobian
00:06:16
Speaker
Starvin Marvin I was thinking like Somalia like that episode when they go to Somalia and then they become pirates Wait, I don't know if I've seen that one No, no, that's pretty old Cartman was like he's like fat parents man, and then they went to Somalia and they did like the I am the captain now thing Okay, that's pretty cool
00:06:46
Speaker
It was a good epi. A good
Humorous Ad Read and Production Jokes
00:06:48
Speaker
epi, you know? They have a few good ones. Just a couple. Just one or something. Are you still down to do a power of 45 minutes minus six minutes and 59 seconds? I've been drinking since I got home. I'm kind of on pace for a power hour, to be honest. I've already finished two and we've been going for 20 minutes. I think I got to catch up. Oh, I was going to say,
00:07:14
Speaker
And I completely forgot to mention this before. But Oh, no. What's happening here? Are you calling my mom? I don't know what the fuck he's doing. I don't know. If they don't pick up, it's gonna be hilarious.
00:07:38
Speaker
Oh, it was our sponsor. Oh, yeah. I wanted him to come in. Oh, I wanted him to come in for the ad read, but he didn't want to. Oh, wait. No, he just, he just called me back. I think, you know, how do I call his phone? I don't want to FaceTime him. I want to just call him. You hit the phone one. That's not working. Cause then you, you just, you literally just hit the phone. Shut up. Hello.
00:08:09
Speaker
Hey, man, I was just wondering if you wanted to say something about this is sandwich This is the ad read that we talked about
00:08:38
Speaker
the fifth
00:08:59
Speaker
I appreciate the call and look out for this week's episode of Hell of a Wiest. Brought to you by It's A Sandwich on Instagram. There it is. There it is! There you go! Beautiful. Thank you! Okay, this was for fun, but I have to go record the rest of the episode now. Okay, have a wonderful time.
00:09:29
Speaker
Okay, thanks. Bye, Bameron. I'm going to have to have a conversation with him. That man doesn't know an ad read. He wouldn't know an ad read if it hit him in the face. Is he doing a power hour currently? I don't know. It sounds like he's in a wind tunnel full of a bunch of... Wind? Seattle people. Oh, Seattle. That's not what's in a wind tunnel.
00:09:57
Speaker
Oh, I'm not supposed to say where he lives, am I? Oh, rough. We'll get Jeff to cut it. Jeff. Jeff. Jeff. Please. Thanks, man. You know, if Jeff was actually good at his job, we'd probably could have salvaged the first 15 minutes of this recording. I have the MP4. I still do. I think we can do it still.
00:10:22
Speaker
Did we just two intros? The two intros. We're going to have an intro in 15 minutes, baby. That'd be so good. That's going to be so great. I actually, that would go so hard. I'm going to try, after this, I'll download all the files. I'm just telling you. All right. Yeah, you do that. You do that, Luke. I'm a computer person.
00:10:50
Speaker
I work on a computer. I have a computer. You tell me. And I am talking to a computer so I can do that. Wow. Whoops. Fuck you. Hey, it's almost time for our next segment. Oh, God. What is our next segment?
Audio Guessing Games and Trivia Fun
00:11:16
Speaker
I'm a little bit scared for this one.
00:11:19
Speaker
Is it time for visual audio? It is time for visual audio. Oh, man. What best to participate this time? What does this mean? Well, no. We need him to guess what we're watching. Oh. Oh, OK. Am I the one guessing? Oh, shit. Yeah, he's going to have to go on to it after. No, no, no. Visual audio has been canceled this week. Oh, no.
00:11:50
Speaker
Did the page get shut down? Yep. What? Oh, wait, nevermind. I have a, I have a good idea. Oh, here we go. Or Wub is just in the dark, man. All right. All right. So this segment, this segment Wub is called visual audio. And what's going to happen is Luke and I will be watching a video.
00:12:20
Speaker
of something not particularly appealing and you're going to try and guess what it is that we are watching. Just based off of the sounds and our reaction and everything that's
00:12:39
Speaker
And it's going on. If you don't get it in three guesses, then you have to watch the video. Ooh, I like that. It's just, are you going to play like some hardcore Pern? And then I'm going to be like, oh. No, no. No, no. We're losing words. Is this a classy podcast? Okay. Yeah, we have to check the box that says- We have to watch people get mutilated. Okay. We have to check the box that says not explicit when we post all this shit, so.
00:13:07
Speaker
Because I'm wholesome. What? Oh, this is a good one, actually. This isn't that bad, but it's a good one for this segment. Okay, are you going to do the volume? How accurate do I have to be on these guesses?
00:13:27
Speaker
Just within the ballpark. Yeah. And we're going to give you some hints and we're going to give you a hot and cold meter. Okay. I love it. Oh, whoops. Whoops. One day. I need to. I started it. I need to do the little segment read really quick. One moment. Okay. Wow. That is so good. This visual audio is brought to you by Sony.
00:13:58
Speaker
let us rape your ears. Whoa, whoa, Jeff, bleep that, bleep that in post. Consensually destroy your ears. There we go. Yeah, we're in on that first word podcast. Full consent podcast. All right, Luke, are you ready to react to this nine second video? Yeah, are you going to do the audio? Yeah, I got the volume. I got the volume.
00:14:27
Speaker
You just never gonna guess this one. This is a tough one. Okay, three, two, one. Oh, dude, that is... Ew. That is coming out. Did it cream? No, that's not cream. Bro, that is... Well, there you go. Do you see how stiff it is? That was the video? That was the whole video.
00:14:52
Speaker
How the fuck am I supposed to guess that? This video was like three minutes long. It was like 30 seconds. So it was three times as long as that. Also, there's a lot more going on in the other video. But this is- Yeah, let's do it one more time to give him a little more- Thanks. A little more to go off of. Hold on, hold on. After we started. All right, tell me one. Go for it. Three, two, one, go. Do you see how inflated it is?
00:15:21
Speaker
Yeah, it's like one of those whales. Yeah, that's what I was thinking of for marine bio. Yep, that's the one. All right. What's your first guess? Well, just off, I mean, dude, off audio cues. Are we in a fucking rainforest? What the hell is going on? But like, you're not like super far off. I'm not far off from rainforest. I'm going to give you a good hint for this.
00:15:50
Speaker
It's a much drier rainforest. You might find this in Ethiopia. Okay.
00:15:59
Speaker
Sub Saharan or even Saharan? No Sub Saharan. I think so. Oh man. I think both. I think it's both. I think it is. You can find it in Africa. Find it in Africa. The entirety of the whole continent. You can find it in the Africa. In the Africa. Okay. Is someone getting eaten by a lion? No, but
00:16:27
Speaker
You're on the right track. Wait, is that not a lion? What is it? No, that's not a... That's my bad, I thought I... Let me just... Yeah, that is not a lion. I thought I nailed it for a second.
00:16:45
Speaker
You were so close. Really? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But you need, you need to be a little more specific to be in the ballpark. And there's a big detail you're leaving out as well. Yeah. You're warm. You're just not hot. So is someone being eaten? Yeah. Okay. Eating is happening. Maybe not someone, but eating is happening. Eating is happening. That means a lot of things.
00:17:13
Speaker
Play it again. Play it again. Play it again. I just watched a worse one. Ew. What website are you on? I'm going to play it for you again. This is Twitter? A lot of wind in the background. This isn't Twitter. This is X. X. Sorry.
00:17:45
Speaker
Um, Holy. Oh my God, dude. That is, that is a hundred times worse. Yeah. It's like way worse. That is 400 times worse. Jesus. Okay. Yeah, dude. Fuck.
00:18:08
Speaker
I'll send him that one now, but now I want to see this video. Okay. You have to do both. You have to get it. Something's being eaten in Africa, which is very rare. All true. Yeah. Very rare. Very rare. Never happens. Doesn't happen that often. So it's gotta be some sort of animal eating something.
00:18:36
Speaker
I'm gonna say like an alligator is doing the death roll. That's not a bad guess. I've seen a lot of those. Can I ask you something? Yeah. Jack thought there was a lion and lions don't look like alligators. I should have used those audio keys. To be fair, I didn't
00:19:07
Speaker
I wasn't looking at the video when I replied that. Jack, you don't need to be looking at the video. Okay, let's give him another hint.
00:19:21
Speaker
Okay, you get one more hint, one more guess. Okay, here's the hint. Will, have you ever seen those videos of whales on the beach that just fucking explode? I have. I have seen those videos. That's your hint. That's your hint. Yeah. I feel like I have a feeling
00:19:46
Speaker
Before you say anything, I just want to make sure you know that whales are not in Africa. Well, on the coast. It's not where we are right now. Right, of course. Okay, good.
00:20:03
Speaker
So is something just fucking exploded? Oh, man. There's a lot of ways all together. OK, so 20 seconds. This is the second. Something's being it's always be eaten and a whale explodes. No way. All right. We're just going to know. We're just sending him. We're just sending him the videos. It's too late. Just send me the just send me the video.
00:20:31
Speaker
I want to see what the video is. My last guess would be a cheetah was eating a whale and it exploded. Oh my god, you're halfway there. Dude. Is it cheetah? You got so much of it. I sent him the worst one first. Don't look at that one. I clicked on it. No, don't stop. Oh my god.
00:21:07
Speaker
listeners if you can DM Instagram DM us a perfectly accurate description of what will just watched we will give you a $100 gift card to Apple sponsored by Apple brought to you by Apple and
00:21:27
Speaker
at the grocery store. We get sued for that. But what do you mean? Let's take perchance in the event that Apple, our contract with Apple didn't, you know, hit yet. It didn't start today. Did we get sued? No, not, no, cause maybe, I don't know, but let's not bring that up. I think we're gonna become business, so, you know.
00:21:57
Speaker
I'm playing negligent. Is that, can you do that? I think you can. Can I get the other video that you guys were watching? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, send him the one. Honestly, I'm happy with myself with how close I got. But you haven't seen it.
00:22:14
Speaker
No, no, no. The one you sent me. The one that the listeners can get on. You got even closer to the real one. Yeah. You are really close to the real one. Oh, really? You just, you said whale and there's no whales. There's no whales. I blame Jack for that then. Cause that, that's. No. The hint, I know, wait, but he has to see it first to understand. Yeah. Once I see it, I'll be okay. Okay. And if, uh, this is the one with audio.
00:22:42
Speaker
Yeah. Should I play the audio? Oh my God. What's in that thing? This segment of visual audio was brought to you by laws whiskey. Now you're getting sued. What can you drink in your drink?
00:23:08
Speaker
Should we do visual audio now? You're still a little quiet. I will tell you. Fuck dude. I need to figure out my audio visual. Yeah. Oh, you haven't done that yet. You didn't prepare that. No, I was just, um, I was making a little.
00:23:32
Speaker
It, my thing didn't hit. I don't worry. I have the, okay. Should we do, should we do our guests guest segment or should we do yours? Yeah, we got, let's do, let's do the guest segment. Then we can do Luke's character segment and then we can do audio visual.
00:23:49
Speaker
All right. Perfect. Um, great. Well, I'm just going to kind of let you take it away. This guest segment, unfortunately is unsponsored, uh, just because we had an issue with, uh, icy. I don't know if you've had that before. I do love me a good icy. Yeah. They don't bring it up. Don't it's touchy subject. Um, but yeah, take it away. Thanks. Okay. Uh, this guest segment is going to be.
00:24:18
Speaker
The Dozen Daily Trivia from Barstool Sports. Not sponsored, just saying that. Thought I'd put that out there. I heard Barstool. I heard Barstool Podcasts is like done right now. I heard that too. Yeah, because they're like, the shit sucks. I think that's what they said. We just raised up like three spots in the national rankings for podcasts. You know who's got great podcasts, not a sponsor?
00:24:46
Speaker
Friday beer. Oh, your Friday beer. Yeah. Shout out Rusty at Friday beers. Can I, can I give a podcast shout out that's also not sponsored? Yeah. Yeah. Just make sure they know it's not sponsored. Shout out Mad and Shane's secret podcast, not sponsored. Oh, I added that to my queue. I think because of you. That shit is hilarious. Shout out the dollar. Yeah. And then let's, while we're at it, let's just not,
00:25:16
Speaker
sponsored shout out wet jeans. I follow them on Twitter, no shout out. No shout out. No sponsors. But yeah, his, I don't know if you guys follow this, but Heat Daddy's uncle, who may or may not have a learning disability, has accurately called the last, not learning mental,
00:25:45
Speaker
Uh, his, as accurately called like the last six Superbowl coin tosses. And then last year, the inner, like he tweeted that and then the internet gave this guy a shit ton of pressure. The uncle ended up like crying and picking the thing wrong. And then it's just been a nightmare. So he's not making the pick this year. Oh, that sucks. Fuck the internet dude. Shout out, shout out to Keith Daddy's uncles, but also no sponsor.
00:26:15
Speaker
Um, so the daily doesn't trivia. It's, it's nine trivia questions all tailored to sports, uh, geography, celebrity mashup, snacks and candy, television, movies, music. You get the gist. So we're going to start out with NFL trivia. I don't know how I know nothing about the ball league. I know some, I know some football. Here's a football. Can I, before you start, can I ask why there's nine of them and it's called the daily doesn't.
00:26:41
Speaker
I don't know. I would take that up with Portnoy himself. I have another interesting question. Do you think that people with foot fetishes are better at football trivia? No, because you throw with your hands. Yeah, I think those people would initially get hyped up to watch football and then realize that it's not what they were expecting. Just be like super disappointed. That's a really good point. Yeah.
00:27:09
Speaker
Okay, the first trivia question. Randy Moss played in a Super Bowl with two different franchises, the Patriots and what NFC team? Minnesota. The Vikings? Yes. I was going to say the Bears. No, that's A-N-C. Let's go. Okay, that's wrong. That was a wrong answer. It's not the Vikings? No. Once we get through our nine guesses, we can see the answers.
00:27:38
Speaker
but that was okay wait Jack let's think here okay so I don't know we guessed we already guessed we can't guess that one again no okay okay we live eight years are you entering these in right now I entered the Vikings and it was wrong oh my god fuck okay okay we move on then we move on I think we take a drink for that take a sip take a sip every wrong every wrong every wrong oh my god oh god that was disgusting holy
00:28:07
Speaker
Okay, Zach Levine won his second NBA dunk contest in 2016 after defeating this Orlando Magic forward in an epic double overtime tiebreaker after they racked up six perfect 50 dunks. Aaron Gordon, baby. Yeah, that's right. That was saying the same thing. Aaron Gordon is correct. It's correct. Bang. No, this one's gonna be tough. This is a MLB question.
00:28:35
Speaker
This might be a tough one. Before joining the Yankees, Gary Sheffield spent two seasons with this National League team from 2002 to 2003 and finished third in 2003 MVP voting after hitting 39 home runs and 132 RBIs. Wait, did you say 132 RBIs? 132 RBIs. Oh, I changed my answer to the Texas Rangers.
00:29:05
Speaker
It's a, we need a person. Wait, do we? No, no, it's a team. It's a team. It's a team. Rangers. Give me the Rangers. Texas Rangers is wrong.
00:29:19
Speaker
Take a drink. Does it tell you what's right? I will after we get to the end, dude. What are you not following about this? After I get to the nine. Excuse me, Mr. Texas Rangers. You couldn't name five MLB teams if you wanted to. If I do right now, do it right now. Do it right now. Yeah, I'll finish my drink. Okay. Rockies, Rangers, Marlins. Marlin. Just because I said that. Okay. Three. Mariners. Where are the Marlins from?
00:29:48
Speaker
Seattle. Wow. Did that right? No, not the Marley any. Yes, but okay. Counting three right now. Marlin's mariners. Okay, where are the mariners from? The Rays. Seattle. Okay, Seattle. Okay, you have one more that's not the Rays. And the Red Sox. Wow. Um,
00:30:16
Speaker
Boston does that mean we're pro-choice We're pro-cigarettes I haven't had a cigarette in
00:30:41
Speaker
at least a week. I had one like two days ago. It was pretty rough. I got high. I got high last weekend, Luke. No way. How'd that go? Yeah. I'm in that high. Because I don't smoke a lot. But I did smoke for the first time in a year and a half, two years. Oh, nice. It was fun. It was good. You had a good time?
00:31:11
Speaker
That's good. What made you do that? Fogel was in town. Oh, nope. That checks out. That'll do it. That'll do it. Okay, let's continue. I have to finish this, Frank. Okay, this is a geography question.
00:31:34
Speaker
Known as the world's tallest structure, the Burj Khalifa is a skyscraper located in which Middle Eastern country? Dubai. Oh, UAE. UAE is the country. What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? Abu Dhabi, I think, is in Qatar. What's the difference between Qatar and UAE? I think they're different countries.
00:32:02
Speaker
That's a correct answer, fellows. That's all I know. What, UAE or Dubai? United Arab Emirates is the- Nice. Fuck you, Jack. Well done. Okay, fellas, I'm going to send you a photo to this group chat of this celebrity mashup. And we got to figure out who- Hopefully it's Anna Kendrick and her titties. I hope it's not. It's not Anna Kendrick's boobs.
00:32:30
Speaker
And to be honest with you, I have no fucking idea Jason Statham. Okay. What is this photo? We're going to post this, guys. We're going to post this on the Headed Wiest Instagram. What the fuck is this photo? I think it's Jason Statham. Dude, that jawline is too sharp. I'm calling in help.
00:33:00
Speaker
Who's the lady? Yeah, the lady Who's that lady from that place? Mrs. Marvel or something? Oh Brie Larson
00:33:14
Speaker
Could that be? Could that be Brie? Wait, no. Who's that chick? Who's that chick who was in the Fantastic Four, the Bond one? Jennifer Lawrence? No, she's in the Old Fantastic Four. Oh, do you think I know the actors in the Old Fantastic Four? I think the woman's Reese Witherspoon. I'm gonna be honest.
00:33:41
Speaker
Okay, I'm going to put in a message. That's a good, good Jack. That's, that's the only part I'm going to be able to guess. I think the dude, I thought it was Jason Statham, but I don't think it's Jason Statham anymore. It could be Jason Statham. Who's Jason Statham? Every, every action movie. I think you're thinking of Ed Helms. That's definitely not Ed Helms. It could be Ed Helms.
00:34:07
Speaker
But no, because of the facial hair on the right side of the face. Yeah, it's just not enough. Yeah. What are we going with? Wait, did you say that Jason Statham is X-Men? He's in every action movie ever. Look at this nose. Does the nose give us anything? It's pretty crooked. Could it be like an Owen Wilson? Is his Owen Wilson a goatee? He just doesn't have that facial hair. But maybe his brother, Luke Wilson,
00:34:36
Speaker
Luke, he has a brother named Luke Wilson. Luke Wilson went to our high school, dude. That is the wrong person. Doesn't he have a brother named Luke Wilson? Luke Wilson is an option to click. I'm pretty sure that's Owen Wilson's brother. Let's do Luke Wilson and Reese Witherspoon.
00:34:55
Speaker
That's wrong. We're posting, we're posting this picture to our, I'm gonna post it right now. I can't wait to see who that is. We're gonna post this to our Instagram. With no caption whatsoever. I'm just posting. Yeah, dude, Luke Wilson is the brother. Okay, guys, now we're on to snacks and candy. Oh, I'm good at that. We'll get this one for sure.
00:35:25
Speaker
This thin rectangular caramel lollipop comes in a yellow wrapper with red print and has chewable bytes variation with a similar name. I need you to restart that whole thing I was posting. This thin rectangular caramel lollipop comes in a yellow wrapper with red print and has a chewable bytes variation with a similar name.
00:36:05
Speaker
dumbest trivia questions I've ever heard that's a terrible way guys think think think I can only think of what's the one with the owl the Hooters owl and he's like one two three but they don't they don't have yellow do they well they're different colors there's so many different colors they're not they can't they're not caramel chocolate is that is it chocolate in the middle dude um
00:36:14
Speaker
thin rectangular caramel lollipop
00:36:33
Speaker
It's an old timey one. It's an old timey for sure. It's like, um, fuck. What are those? Like, there's like Charleston shoes. It's like that sort of thing. But that's not it. It's like, is it not? No. Cause Charleston shoes are marshmallow and chocolate. I think this is a, I think this, I got it. I fucking got it. What is it? It's a fucking sugar daddy.
00:37:03
Speaker
If, Luke, if you're right, I will fly to South Carolina. It's fucking right. Oh, God. What a guess, dude. What an absolute heater of a guess. Thank you, thank you. I'm a former fat boy. Luke, just booked my flight. I'll be there March 26th. Jack, if you're lying to me right now, we're going to have a problem. No, I'm going to be there. It's my brother's wedding.
00:37:34
Speaker
Am I going to get a fucking invite? I'm working on it, all right? I've already, I've asked. I'm not going to get an invite. I asked to bring you, okay? I bet you're a plus one. But my dad was worried that our extended family would think that I'm gay if I brought you. True. So we have to work on that. Not that there's anything wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that.
00:38:01
Speaker
Good save. Good save. Yeah, thanks. Okay, fellas. Jack, just visually optical. I looked too hard with these tats to be gay. No one's going to be able to see them. How hard are you? I'm fucking rock solid at 24-7. He's too hard. He's just automatically too hard.
00:38:27
Speaker
Okay. Ready for the television. The television. We got to keep this rolling. We've got to keep this rolling. We have seven minutes left. Okay. Now a major franchise with movies and merchandise. This Nickelodeon's children's animated series debuted in 2013 following a boy named Ryder as he leads a crew of rescue dogs. Paw Patrol. Paw Patrol. I was talking Paw Patrol too. Bang. Paw Patrol. Bang. Easy. Money. What a dub.
00:38:55
Speaker
Do you think there's a Japanese version of PAW Patrol that's just like a little bit more sexual? I feel like the Japanese make every... No, they just like redo the animation and they puff out the dog's tits a little bit more. I feel like they do that. I feel like they do that. Okay. Movies.
00:39:22
Speaker
I Drink Your Milkshake is a quote said by Daniel Day-Lewis's character from this 2007 epic period drama film and best picture nominee directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. Who is Daniel Day-Lewis? I have no idea. Who's Paul Thomas Anderson? Can you tell me the movie that they directed together? I Drink Your Milkshake is the quote.
00:39:50
Speaker
I drink your milkshake or I would. I drink your milkshake. So they're just saying that I drink. I drink. It's a current action that they're doing. I drink. I drink it. Yes, exactly. I drink your milkshake.
00:40:20
Speaker
What what? Well, no Name a movie anyone name a movie. I don't agree. I don't think any of us know this I'll name one perfect two. Yeah number two bitch Perfect the second one that is unfortunate matter a single fate. It's a simple favor. Okay, we're down to five minutes. Let's go Alright last question music
00:40:47
Speaker
I walk a lonely road. The only one that I've ever done are the opening lyrics to what 2014 song? It's a boulevard of broken dreams. That's right. Select done. The NFL answer was the San Francisco 49ers. Randy Moss played for that Superbowl with two different franchises. The MLB dancer was the Atlanta Braves. The celebrity matchup.
00:41:15
Speaker
is Reese Witherspoon and it is Jason Statham. Oh my god. We almost had it. Dang. And the movie was There Will Be Blood, not Pitch Perfect 2. We were so close on that one. That was a close one. We almost had it in the bag. Yeah, yeah. We were right there. Dang. Oh god.
00:41:44
Speaker
Okay, should we save Luke's character for next week and maybe just do visual audio? Your character? Yeah, it's my new segment, bro. What's your segment? Wait, time out. I got a pod question for you all. Yeah. Why aren't we doing the full hour? Well, because Jack's a poo face and probably has to go do social things.
00:42:12
Speaker
God. It's trivia Tuesday, but I'm figuring out if we're doing that right now, so. Well, okay. May. Oh, he has his headphones in. All right, fine. Texted. Let's keep it rolling. Here's the issue. Yeah. Fuck, okay. I wanna go get more beer, right?
00:42:40
Speaker
If I go down, I'm afraid my AirPods will disconnect, hence ending the recording session. Leave your pods up here. We'll distract the audience. Yeah, but if I take them out, I'm also worried that it'll disconnect. Prop them up so that they're standing upright. Yeah.
00:43:02
Speaker
Um, okay. I have one out. That's how you have to do it. Right now it's propped. Okay. We have 15 minutes. Oh, it's not propped up. I'm still recording. This is really scary. This is the moment of truth. If, if this goes to shit, we're just putting this out. So thanks for tuning in. Uh, XYZ. Thank you for having me. Okay. But also we're probably going to be going for another 12 minutes. Okay. Uh, bye. 12. Does he know he doesn't know how to do math.
00:43:31
Speaker
That's 17. It is still working. Yep. It's still going. It's still going. Amazing. We're still here. Okay. Oh, thank God. Luke, what's going on, dude? Oh, you know, Wub. Wub, I got a new tattoo. You got another one? Oh, yeah. Wub. I'll show you a pic. This one's massive. And it's thick lines. And I almost cried. Where is it? Tattoo shop.
00:43:59
Speaker
What location of your body? What's on my arm? This is to fill out my arm more. It goes from my wrist all the way up to where my my core's banquet tattoo is. Oh, that's a fucking big one. It's a big boy. It's really big boy. And it has a loop around my elbow directly on my elbow bone. Oh, wow. And
00:44:25
Speaker
I can't tell you I've experienced a worse pain than getting a tattoo on my elbow bone.
Personal Stories and Symbolic Tattoos
00:44:32
Speaker
What is the tattoo? It's a big dragon. So when people ask me why I got a dragon, I can say, imagine dragon design across your face.
00:44:46
Speaker
That's the best reason to get a permanent tattoo for the bit. Exactly. It also, you know, it looks cool and I want to sleeve and I want to fill it out, you know, so. Of course. That's great. I'm happy. Thank you. Thank you. I was about to cry on the table.
00:45:07
Speaker
I had to after he did all the line work i told him that we're gonna have to reschedule the shading and coloring for another week because i was seriously like. Like i can't even describe it dude i was ashamed of how much my arm was just shaking on the table horrible you ever seen that video of the dude get like the full chest piece.
00:45:36
Speaker
And he is trembling the whole time. And he's just shaking. Bro, his chest was red. It was like a black guy and his chest was visibly red. It feels when it's like that, it feels like you just started laying there letting somebody cut your body open.
00:45:57
Speaker
It's horrible. That's terrible. But also it's for the for the chicks though. You know, you got that. Yeah. Let me tell you. Is it working so far? The three days I've had this. I've had one chick asked me about it. Hell yeah, dude. That's one more than normal. That's progress right there. Yeah. Hell yeah. I'm so happy. I've read at work today.
00:46:27
Speaker
Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Oh my god, Jack's back. Jack's back. I've been back. I've been listening for like two minutes. Oh shit. It's time for Luke's segment. Character? Is that what we're doing? Do it. Whatever segment you had prepared, I don't know. Well, I have two. I have the character and I have visual audio.
00:46:53
Speaker
Let's do character. Let's switch it up. That's your new segment. I want to be the first guest with the new segment. Well, well, Victoria was here for my character last week.
Improv Skit Chaos and Reflections
00:47:05
Speaker
Doesn't count. She's a lady. She's a lady. Yeah, that's fucking true. All right, guys. I am my name. My name is Dodo Von Cockapo.
00:47:23
Speaker
And I am a pilot and you two are my flight attendants. And the oxygen masks in the plane just dropped.
00:47:35
Speaker
like so that people can use them. Okay. Right. Yep. Okay. I'm following. All right. I'm here. Ready? Three, two, oh wait, wait, before we go. You got, this is so ready to go. Holy fuck. I had no idea what the fuck was going on.
00:47:55
Speaker
We're just about to act out here. I'm gonna lead the scene and you guys are gonna contribute, you know? Okay, I was ready. I was ready to fucking go. Oh my god, I'm gonna get the character a little bit. Three, two, one. Captain. Captain. Captain. Why captain? This is your captain speaking. I am Dodo Van Cocapo.
00:48:21
Speaker
Please disregard that subtle turbulence and the oxygen maps coming from the feeling. Oh my god. This is just a little bit of routine turbulence on our flight route. If I can't afford the flight attendants to come to the cabin, the cockpit please.
00:48:41
Speaker
Get a fucking grip, man! You're supposed to be trained for this shit! I'm trying to get about gingerails and sprays. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here. Leather Hunters, please report to the cockpit. I need to have a word with you. Captain, I'm gonna be honest with you, there's a real situation going on in aisle 3. Holy shit. What's going on out there, guys? It's just this routine. Are there any doctors on board?
00:49:07
Speaker
There's a woman in aisle three breastfeeding her child without a tarp. The whole boobs out, man. And I don't know what to do. Everyone's staring. It's pretty fucking sweet. It's pretty sweet. It's so scary. Our other flight attendants sitting there jerking off to it. It's really clapping up, man. I am the captain now. No, you are. OK. I am the captain now. Wait a second.
00:49:37
Speaker
Well, I need WUB to stop hyperventilating. Sorry, I'm so scared. I'm so scared. So much breathing. I'm so scared. I'm trying to watch this woman feed her child. Excuse me. Johnson. Johnson, what the fuck are you talking about? There's a woman breastfeeding. WUB is hyperventilating. What's happening? I'm so scared.
00:50:07
Speaker
Can you guys please? Okay, I'm not gonna lie. This is your co-captain speaking.
00:50:17
Speaker
We're having some turbulence issues. And I may be far ahead. Zine has completely been compromised. There's no such thing, dude. The whole key to improv is you can't say no. I know. My whole shtick was me being scared and I feel like it kind of got cut off by the cat in there.
00:50:43
Speaker
This is your captain speaking. Could you imagine being in that situation? So listen, here's what here's everything that was going on.
00:50:53
Speaker
I'm actually sweaty and hot from hyperventilating that much. I'm sweaty and hot just from seeing a photo of Luke. After you explain this, can I tell you what was supposed to happen? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to say what was going on, and then you explain what was going to happen. Yes. That's the beauty of improv, baby. Okay. Shut the fuck up. Let me go.
00:51:20
Speaker
The captain announces over the PA system, we have some turbulence and the oxygen mass have dropped. Yes. One flight attendant has completely lost their shit. They think 9-11 is going down. Fucking crazy shit's happening. The other co-captain can't stop staring at the woman in the aisle on row three that's breastfeeding her baby in public.
00:51:47
Speaker
Just tip out for everyone to see. One hyperventilating, the other one can't stop staring. What an issue that has turned out to be. The co-pilot just ripped a fat one in the cockpit and it smells really bad. Now, if I were on this plane, shit's going down. There's no chance that shit stays afloat.
00:52:18
Speaker
pilot what was supposed to happen please tell us so here's the thing that can be that can be something for your character you know that can be the scene for your character don't yeah but here's here's what's here's what's supposed to happen dodo von kokapo kokapo i forgot your name dodo von kokapo if you didn't know
00:52:47
Speaker
dodo and cockapoo or flightless birds So this is a really creative name because the pilot didn't know how to fly the plane Good one good one exactly That's like turbulence was gonna be because I was fucking hungover because the co-pilot and I were out partying late last night and I didn't know how to fly the plane anymore and he was throwing up and I was gonna have to have the flight attendants come in and
00:53:31
Speaker
the the the
00:53:39
Speaker
and clean up the vomit and figure out how to fly the plane
00:53:55
Speaker
You guys did great. You guys did great. Dude, I don't need you criticizing me on your fucking segment. I feel like I'm being blamed. No, you're not being blamed. I feel like me and Jack are being blamed for really interpreting our character the way that we interpret it. I feel uncomfortable right now and I'd like it if you stopped.
00:54:18
Speaker
Jack, Jack, do you remember Chumbles? Chumbles Crumb? I remember him and his toilet issue. It's supposed to go like that, where Chumbles is leading the scene and then the characters improvving with Chumbles. You can never.
00:54:37
Speaker
ever expect a scene to go a certain way and improv. You have a start, you do not have a middle, you do not have an end. All you have is a fucking start and that's it. You're being stupid by expecting something to come after the start because truly, if you're a good improv, no one leads the scene. Everyone. No, but here's the scene, Jack. Fuck you.
00:55:03
Speaker
I make this announcement over the PA and then you guys are supposed to come to me in the cockpit and then I am directing the scene and we're all improving from there. But the thing is, I didn't think that we got to the point of where you could direct the scene because I was freaking out and Jack was staring at Yada's.
00:55:26
Speaker
I was staring at a single yada, the other one was covered up. So it went to a point where that scene that in your mind that you wanted died and it became how do we handle this hyperventilating flight attendant? And also how do we also pop a look at the yada?
00:55:46
Speaker
at the same time. You just had unrealistic expectations. Yeah. And honestly, I could have reeled it back a little bit. You know, it's a learning experience for everyone involved. But here's the important thing.
00:56:13
Speaker
The important thing is we painted a picture in the listener's mind. They were there on the plane with us and that's all you could ever ask for. Exactly. So I'm not upset with it at all.
00:56:25
Speaker
I thought it was beautiful, the way it wrapped up there. Especially how us as an improv group could talk about these things. I thought that was great. Now when you say improv, are you calling us poor? Did you mean to say improv? I meant to say improv because I think we were all in poverty in that scene.
00:56:53
Speaker
Okay, yeah, see that's just that that's an improper Thank you. I will like I do need to say we have three minutes left. So we have to do our exits our outros Yes, well what you know audio visible It's too late. You need to save it for a minute. It's okay. I think it's okay I think we need to just hurry up and go go. Okay
00:57:19
Speaker
Oh my god, I'm just gonna have to click on a random Wang Daiji video.
Bizarre Video Descriptions and Reactions
00:57:27
Speaker
Okay, guys, here's how audio visual works. I'm gonna play this and I'm gonna describe to you what's happening. No, no, no, I'm gonna play it and you have to guess what's happening. And if you get it wrong, then I'll describe after. Okay. Yep.
00:58:03
Speaker
It's just copyrighted? No. It's a good question.
00:58:15
Speaker
this goes hard as fuck yeah go play this fucking hard especially with the video you don't even know wow that's a big holy shit still going if you if you didn't know okay
00:58:42
Speaker
What happened? I think that those women just made panko breaded chicken with soy sauce. That's crazy because that's exactly where my mind was going. You know, you were so close, but can I tell you what they really made? Yeah.
00:59:12
Speaker
Um, many fried goose, pizza, noodle soup, and dumpering. Did you say many fried goose? Many fried goose. He's in character still, I think.
00:59:34
Speaker
couldn't count. There were too many. So they just, they just fried up some goose and they were spitting bars by the way. Was it like a chef video where they're like telling you the ingredients, but like spitting bars? I know they're just fucking having a good time rapping in and making a video while they cook. So let me, all right, guys, we got three minutes left happening. Let me just, let me just, uh, I'll give you a play by play. Okay. Please.
01:00:04
Speaker
Durian they just spun it around she acts like they were her boobs now that it's in a pan and she's hitting it with a bat and Then it's a pancake now and she put cheese on it. Oh, and now there's pig hooves And she has a blowtorch in that looks like a penis, but I don't think it is
01:00:24
Speaker
and they made it into noodles and then they steamed them and now there's like a broth and she put a big wok over her head like a red spot and there's still a lot of pig hooves in there oh she took a bite out of one and they're slurping noodles and um here's the goose and they're frying it oh and she's she's drinking the broth out of a straw
01:00:55
Speaker
And somebody tried to steal her pig hoof, but she she swatted it with chopsticks.
01:01:02
Speaker
I'm going to need it. I'm going to need the video. I'm not going to lie. Oh, if you wanted, you can find the video on X, which is also Twitter. No X. You can find it on our X at headed underscore
01:01:22
Speaker
Please go follow and look for that video so you can get a real accurate representation of what's going on because what Luke just did, I haven't seen it, but I just don't think it does it justice. That shocked me. Everything that happened. There was a good play by play. Yeah. Did you send the link? Because I need to tweet that.
01:01:44
Speaker
Yep. Yep. Here we go. What do you call an X now that it's not Twitter anymore? Like if I post this X, what do I call it? No, I call it Twitter. Share this with you because this is my segment. It's like, it's like you call the Pepsi, you still call ballerina Pepsi center. You know what I mean? Just cause it changed. It's still the Pepsi center. It's a good point actually. I actually, I still, I, I now call it the sack because it used to be the can.
01:02:09
Speaker
because of Pepsi, but now it's just the sack. Oh, okay. I like that. Yeah. Anyway, we have... Fuck, dude. We're going way over. We have two and a half minutes left. I'm going to let the guest take over a minute of it just to say your outro and goodbye.
01:02:30
Speaker
Okay. Uh, thank you guys for having me on. This was a great experience and I will come on whenever you want me to. Um, I quit vaping recently and I started doing zins and they are amazing. No sponsorship. Uh, and also shout out Instagram page humping dollar stores. Cause I think that's a funny Instagram page. They just hump dollar stores and the employees look at them.
01:03:01
Speaker
And it's funny to just share that. Oh my God. It's a hashtag. No sponsorships. Stupid. Loose being stupid. And what I sent you the fucking page. Thank you for having me. This was a great experience. First podcast experience. I would never take it back. All right. Luke, you, Luke, go ahead. Take, take your minute. Why are you trying to pick your minute, dude? Go.
01:03:33
Speaker
Jack is so mean, guys. You don't even know. Anyways, it was great to have Wub here tonight on this lovely evening. And we just appreciate you loyal listeners. If you made it this far in the episode,
01:03:53
Speaker
Don't forget to DM the Headed Wiest Instagram account. Pickles for a $5 coupon to the Krusty Krab, where they won't forget your pickles. Take it away, Jack.
01:04:10
Speaker
All right, thanks for that. The actual code that we're giving out this week is Apple, A-P-P-L-E. Send that code to the Headed Leaves Instagram and we will give you a $100 Apple gift card. Didn't say what currency that's being paid in.
01:04:31
Speaker
But send it on over. This podcast is brought to you by It's a Sandwich. This podcast is brought to you by Laws Whisky. And this podcast is also brought to you by Febreze, specifically this episode only. Oh, fuck, that was the first 15 minutes. I take that back. We'll splice that though. We'll splice it. Anyway, thank you very much for tuning in to Headed Weest. Stick around, and maybe we'll hear next week's segment as well.
01:05:02
Speaker
Nice. I'm gonna pee so bad. Me too. Is there any respect for the outro? Ever. Are you guys fucking kidding me? Are you fucking joking dude? Oh my god. This is the most- I'm so fucking done with this. You made me wait and then- Oh my god. Fuck you guys. This is so stupid.