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La poco de hontas
46 Plays1 year ago
Moms in Poland... Jack, can you look after the kids?
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Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
Okay, I'm gonna walk in. I need a beer. We're not gonna. Should we wait for him to start? Ladies and gentlemen, boys and
Introduction and Opening Chaos
00:00:09
Speaker
girls, this is no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is I think we have to wait for Luke. Okay.
00:00:27
Speaker
Did you do anything? Did you do anything fun today? I sold a pool table. You're, you're like really good at that. You sell a lot of pool tables. Is this like the third one you've sold? It's Forte. Did we start? Is this, are we recording? Oh shit. Yeah. Oh, I was supposed to do the thing.
International Audience Shoutout
00:01:23
Speaker
Beautiful. It's great to be back. I want to
00:01:31
Speaker
pardon my French. I want to shout someone out, a dedicated listener who is listening all the way in Poland. Wow. We have an international audience. I took the walk. Dedicated listener and a dedicated fan. No, yeah, he did. He did. He did take his walk. I took the headed wheeze. No, he he
00:02:02
Speaker
You know, that's kind of East took the walk. If, if you go West enough, it's West. I think if you go East with a walk, you go East. That's a great point. He ever think about that. He wheezed. He wheezed. He literally wheezed. Yeah, that's pretty cool. He didn't even know it. I bet either. No, there's no way he knew it.
Editing Woes with Jeff
00:02:29
Speaker
Is this Mr. Cone? Yeah, we don't want to give away any identities here. Jeff, edit that out in post. I do. I don't want to bring this up, but he hasn't been editing anything out that we asked him to. Are you serious? Except for that one time you said that one word you shouldn't have said.
00:02:57
Speaker
But other than that, are we going to get canceled? I don't think so. Is it possible to get canceled via podcasts or is that more of an Instagram thing?
Snoop Dogg vs. Martha Stewart Legal Histories
00:03:07
Speaker
I think you can. Didn't Martha Stewart get canceled on a podcast? Martha Stewart got canceled. Wait, who's the one who's the lady who cooks with like seven sticks of butter? Well, I don't know, but I know Martha Stewart does cook.
00:03:24
Speaker
She got up. Maybe it was her then she went to jail. I thought didn't she go to jail? Who hasn't gone? I'm thinking of somebody else. Oh, that's a great here. Let me let me ask Jeff. Let me ask Jeff. Hey, Mason, do Martha Stewart go to jail? Yep, she went to jail. What? What was it for like tax for? Yeah. Tax evasion. The whole the whole joke is that she's a technically a felon and Snoop Dogg isn't.
00:03:53
Speaker
I feel like Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg is a felon. No, he's not. Snoop Dogg has been to jail like twice. That doesn't make him a felon. Yeah, you can go to jail for smaller things. But he like went for Snoop Dogg a felon. Over, under.
00:04:16
Speaker
How many people is Snoop Dogg killed in his life? And I'm gonna go with six. Six and a half is the line. 43. So you're taking the over Ted? I'm gonna say under. He was acquitted of murder charges in 1996.
00:04:35
Speaker
Oh, similar to our good friend, Orange Juice Simpson. Orange Justice. Orange Julius. He was convicted of cocaine possession, charged with gun possession, and pleaded guilty. So he didn't lie. Three years probation. And then he was acquitted of a murder charge in 96.
Humorous Phone Call Interruption
00:05:01
Speaker
Oh, innocent until proven guilty. It's a beautiful thing about our country. I forget that his name is Cordazar. Calvin brought us. It's not. It's Snoop Dogg. I feel like if you're like a troop, I feel like you're just innocent always. Like if you tell somebody. Oh, hold on. I'm getting a call.
00:05:31
Speaker
Hello. Hi, honey. Oh, hey, Mitch. What's up? Do you have the exact size of the restaurant source? Uh, no, I don't. Gosh, she's so hot. Uh, I can get a copy of it and send it tomorrow. Uh, that would be great. Okay. Anything else? I'm in the middle of a podcast.
00:06:02
Speaker
And Teddy. Awesome. We'll enjoy your podcast and we'll talk later. Oh, okay. Thanks. Are you going to listen to it? Yeah. You'll have to tell me what it's on. Yeah, I'll send you it. You're going to be in this episode. I am? Yeah. Oh, should I be afraid? Or we could have Jeff edited it. Oh, no, I think you're. Yeah. Any words for our dedicated listeners in Poland?
00:06:33
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Bye. What? She absolutely thinks I'm special. She's she's always told me I'm a special boy. You're so special, Jack.
00:06:57
Speaker
I've, I've grappled for years. Um, if that's like a good thing or if she thinks I'm retarded.
Easter Bunny Revelation
00:07:05
Speaker
Um, I've learned that whatever your mom tells you is usually a lie unless she says you're special.
00:07:19
Speaker
So you think Mitch is lying to me and I'm not special? No, you are special. Speaking of lying, my nephew turned 12 the other day and he, I guess, threw a hissy fit because he found out that the Easter Bunny wasn't real. Okay. When you say found out, I feel like it was his 12th birthday and you just went over to him and said, okay, it's time. And then you just, you just told him.
00:07:46
Speaker
Well, to be fair, Teddy was probably doing a service to him at that point. No, I think it is a service. I think the kids in this country grow up way too soft. If you're also timeout, if you're an older sibling, you find out about all of this shit like way sooner because like, yeah, you know, it's hard for the parent to keep up the facade for like the older kids and the younger kids. It's just easier to be like, oh yeah, magic.
00:08:17
Speaker
You want to know something funny? I think, I think I believed in Santa as a Jew until I was like at least 11, at least. Wait, actually. Yeah. I believed in Santa as a honorific Jew until fifth grade. So whatever age that would be, probably like 10 or 11. I think your grade, it's like, it's your grade plus like seven is your age.
00:08:49
Speaker
So yes, because 18 in senior year high school. Yeah, it's like six or seven. It's, it's in that range. Yeah. Yeah. So I was 11 or 12 then we believed in Santa for the same amount of time, Jack. That's kind of key. How long did you believe in Santa? Until I was like three years old. Oh, you were you one of those kids who was too smart.
00:09:21
Speaker
Yeah. Do you believe in life after love? That was fantastic. A fantastic rendition. So some big things have happened in the world recently. Yeah.
00:09:51
Speaker
Well, do you not follow the news? Um, I read some of some news occasionally.
Fast Food Price Variations
00:10:00
Speaker
I spend about 10 days in the news. 10 minutes a day in the news. I was going to say 10 days. That's a lot of time to be in the news. 10 days per day in the news is a lot of time. Yeah, that is. That's true. Um,
00:10:19
Speaker
So are you aware with what's going on right now? Maybe. Why don't you speak a little? Oh, well, I know what's going on. So I'm just curious if you know what's going on. Hey, McDonald's. Ash Brown is three American dollars and nine American cents. Teddy's actually kind of on the right track. Isn't it actually $3?
00:10:47
Speaker
Wait, yeah, what? We go to the McDonald's app. I thought hash browns were like fucking 69 cents. They used to be literally like 20 cents. Yeah. Well, I guess with inflation that makes sense. Order now. Have you guys had Chick-fil-A hash browns? No, but I had Chick-fil-A for lunch like two days ago. It was really yummy.
00:11:13
Speaker
I, unpopular opinion, don't think Chick-fil-A is as good as everybody says it is. I love their soup. Um, but the breakfast is what I'm really after at Chick-fil-A. Yeah. Chick-fil-A breakfast slaps. It's so good. I don't think there's a better breakfast out there, like from a fast food place. Yeah. So according to the website, it says a dollar 89.
00:11:41
Speaker
That's very different from $3. Average price, but like, okay, it varies though, but there is a $2.99 price in ME. Where is that? Is that Maine? Probably like Nebraska. Is ME Maine? I think so. Or is that because of state? Maybe it's Mediterranean. Oh, that could be it. In Colorado, they're $2.66.
00:12:11
Speaker
Why are we getting fucked? Which is fucked. Maybe that average is skewed in Colorado because of the mountains. Wait, can you check? South Carolina. Just confirmed that's the real price of PK. Does it say South Carolina has round price? Dollar 49.
00:12:38
Speaker
Wow. I, I've got it good here in the Cagalaki. Yeah. You'd take some wins and they also take some losses. So yeah. Yeah. Take a, a just inordinate amount of losses, but that's one for the wind column. True. Mark it down. Put it in there. Yeah, I will. We'll see who they ask how many. It, um,
00:13:07
Speaker
too many. What? Nothing. You sounded like you were gonna say something. What was in the news?
AI and Fashion: Harry Potter Balenciaga
00:13:23
Speaker
Oh, yeah, we never got there. Because we you're busy pretending that you know what's in the news. No, I know what's in the news.
00:13:31
Speaker
Yeah, what's in the news, Luke? What's going on? It's the headline of the week. Tell me, please. Okay. Today, I read about a guy who made Harry Potter Balenciaga, and then I watched the video. It was pretty funny. You should watch it. I was in the news today. What is Harry Potter Balenciaga?
00:14:02
Speaker
It's somebody gave AI the prompt to make Harry Potter Balenciaga and this is the video that the AI generated. And it's all just Harry Potter characters that are like really hot people wearing ridiculous outfits.
00:14:21
Speaker
Have you seen the AI real generations of Harry Potter characters, if they were cartoons? Yeah. That's basically this. Is it kind of like that? Okay. Yeah, but it's like a video, and all the lines are changed to like Balenciaga is- Whopper, whopper, whopper, whopper. And then it's like, it's Balenciaga, not Balenciaga.
00:14:50
Speaker
You know? Oh, that's pretty good. Teddy is even closer on track. Oh, whopper fast food, fast food, some fast food. Okay. Big Mac. No. Cadillac. Dave's triple. No. Um, little Caesar's $5 hot and ready.
00:15:15
Speaker
No. You got to think like this is something I'm specifically very excited about. Chicken. Okay. Closer. What kind? Keynes. Nope. Chick-fil-A. No. It's the return of a chicken product that has not seen the market in I'd want to say like 10 years. The chicken wrap? The chicken selects. No.
00:15:46
Speaker
I do miss those though. Uh, no, close. That would never left of a market. Yeah, that's, that's been on the market since, uh, since, since before the merger. Since Vietnam. Yeah, since now. Um, okay. Chicken. Uh, and it hasn't been here. The Chipotle chicken wrap from McDonald's. Nope. Nope. Would I be excited about that? Luke? I don't know. People like it.
00:16:16
Speaker
No. Chicken. Chicken. Uh, Taco Bell chicken? No. Spicy chicken nuggets. Oh, you're so close. Fuck me. Oh, Jack, just say it. We've gone on this. No, we've gone on for so long. Luke needs to get this. So bad. Can you give me the restaurant? No, because that'll give it away.
00:16:41
Speaker
Jack, just tell us something, dude. Gotta do it. I did. When Teddy was all, Whopper, Whopper, Whopper, I was like, you're very close now. Oh, it's a chicken sandwich. No, it's not. It's the chicken fries at Burger King?
Burger King's Chicken Fries Return
00:16:54
Speaker
Yes. Nice, Teddy. Dude, those are, they come around like once a year. Yeah, Jack. Not the spicy chicken fries. They have spicy chicken fries? Yes. This is news.
00:17:09
Speaker
Okay, because we could have had a lot more viewers if we said Burger King announces chicken fries. No, that's too simple though. This podcast is brought to you by Burger King. Have it your way with brand new spicy chicken fries for only $27.99 at BK. Have it your way.
00:17:38
Speaker
I can't believe you just missed out on two, two options for that ad read that would have been so much better. Okay. Tell me them then. Because I just know what I was given. Oh, you're right. You're right. That was a good point. Whopper, whopper or burger cheese.
00:18:00
Speaker
Yeah, but I read the ad that was emphasizing the little bit we put in there. Burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese, burger cheese.
00:18:16
Speaker
a beef burger? No, a B's sugar. Bing dong burger. No, but I would try a B's sugar. I'd try a B's sugar. It's just like... Did you just throw up? I think Teddy did. Teddy, can you confirm? Are you in the bathroom?
00:18:45
Speaker
Yeah. Holy shit, Ted, you okay? Hello? Hello? Hi, this is Ted from Wet Jeans. I'm calling today to let you know that your jeans are wet. Your car's extended warranty has expired. I subscribed to them, Luke. I need a piece of shirt.
00:19:14
Speaker
They've been my Burger King foot lamps. I actually sold them the pool table. The last thing you want on your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus. Hello. But it turns out that might be what you get. What a ridiculous fucking ridiculous YouTube video that was. Dude, I found his channel. That that's just how he talks.
00:19:46
Speaker
Sad. I think he gets bullied for it. Yeah, but when kids get bullied, they make the best comics. The best comics? Yeah, like they're funny people. What does that mean?
00:20:07
Speaker
Like if you get bullied, you know how like they say like Robin Williams was such a great comedian because he was like depressed and like. Oh, true. You know, it's the same thing.
Humor from Depression?
00:20:18
Speaker
Like if you get bullied, you're going to be like pretty depressed and then you're just going to be a funny guy and fun to hang around. That's actually, that's so true. That's why you have severe, um, trauma are the most fun people to be around.
00:20:34
Speaker
Yeah, that's why I think, uh, I think Teddy flatlined. Um, but also, oh no, he's back. Hi, but also I think that, uh, I think that it, I forgot what I was going to say. I was focused on Teddy. I forgot what we were talking about. Like literally depressed people being funny. Oh yeah. Trauma bonding. Yeah. Trauma.
00:21:04
Speaker
So do you think like, do you think like those little kids in Nashville are going to be like really funny? Oh, probably. Jeff. Jeff, take this one out. Jeff, take it out. You got to take this one out, Jeff. If you have one job, it's that.
00:21:30
Speaker
But honestly, it is a good question, but we can move past it. Um, do you think a toilet seat has one hole or two holes? A toilet seat? Yeah. It has one hole. I agree. Is there, have you met people who think that there are two holes in a toilet seat? No, it's just a, it's just a thought that came up in my head right then. Oh, okay. Yeah. I think that that would be, I think he's gone again.
00:22:10
Speaker
This broadcast is brought to you by Apple. FaceTime, when you get disconnected from the podcast. You're quiet. You're having a good day. You're quiet. Oh, okay. Hey, there we
Technical Difficulties and Teddy's Connectivity
00:22:24
Speaker
go. Better now? Yeah. We're talking. Yeah. Are you talking? It's not showing up on my screen.
00:22:35
Speaker
What do you mean? I think he probably disconnected and now he can't hear us. Tell him to leave the room and come back. It's always him. Why does he always disconnect? Just exit your tab and then go click the link.
00:23:02
Speaker
All right. Anyway, as I was saying, wait, I can still hear him. Yeah, no, we can hear him, but he can't hear us. Can he hear us now? Can you hear us? Hi. Well, what's wrong? Oh, my God.
00:23:27
Speaker
I don't know. Check your audio. This podcast is experiencing technical difficulties. You just said you couldn't see the squiggles. You can't see the squiggles. You can't see our squiggles. I have an idea. One sec.
00:23:52
Speaker
Hello and welcome back to a Headed Whis podcast brought to you by Gatorade. What can you put in your kid? Sorry for the technical difficulties. Teddy is stupid. Jeff, just run a smooth transition there. Go from what Jack said in just transition right now. No, not now, you idiot. Jeff, stop.
00:24:23
Speaker
I'm gonna throw something at him right now. This guy gives me headaches. This is our worst one yet. I'm not gonna lie. I think we should... Jeff, close your ears. I think we should start taking applications for a new tech guy. I agree. But we need the edit for this one. It's gotta come after this episode. Yeah.
00:24:58
Speaker
And that's beatboxing by Teddy. Oh, yeah, that's right. The MLB season has returned. Do they play them? They remake them? Yeah, they have to. What do you expect?
00:25:26
Speaker
I feel like if that happened in the NBA, they just wouldn't replay the game. If it had impact on postseason, then yeah. That's fair. But yeah, MLB season is back. Time to get back to the ballpark and just drink a lot of beers and have a corn dog. Oh, God, that's fucking heaven. Corn dogs, hot take, corn dogs better than hot dogs.
00:25:55
Speaker
Ted, you want to know something? What? Corona is gluten free. It's always make a lobe. If Corona was gluten free, then why did I gain like 30 pounds during that shit? Well, that's a different one.
00:26:20
Speaker
Wait, okay. What? Because, oh boy, one second. Is that, is it actually not gluten free? I feel like we're a little all over the place right now. Yeah, we are. Corona gluten free. If I could, can, could we maybe just reel it back in here for a sec? Hey, Grace, welcome to the head of these podcasts.
Joke Exchange
00:27:01
Speaker
Beautiful. Oh shit. Oh fuck. What? Ask her for a joke of the day.
00:27:46
Speaker
A chicken. The apartment. The apartment. She's on a podcast. Yeah, what did she expect?
00:28:06
Speaker
Okay, we need to know the answer to this joke. Yeah, what's the answer? Boo. Wait, can you tell the first part of the joke? No, it's way too late. That was fucking terrible. Guys, I got a good joke.
00:28:35
Speaker
I got a good joke. Oh, I have a good one too. Okay. Really? What's, what's blue and in goes puff puff. Um, can we mute Teddy? Yeah, I'd like to. Uh, what is it? It's a blue puff puff.
00:29:10
Speaker
Yeah, I'd like to. Holy shit, yeah. Are you fucking joking, Luke? You just asked to mute Teddy, and then you told that garbage can of a joke. Are you joking? I'm laughing. Well, yeah, you're laughing because you know how fucking terrible that was. Teddy, you already did that. I got a better one. What's brown and sticky? A stick. A stick?
00:29:41
Speaker
Okay. All right. I got one. I got one. Okay. I have a good one. Yeah. MLB sucks, but I want to hear Jack's joke. All right. Ready? Yeah. What's the last thing you want on your Burger King burger?
00:30:09
Speaker
Um, what's the, what's the bomb they dropped on Hiroshima? What is the square root of 2,746? I'm going to say little boy or big boy. Fat fat man. No, I think it was like, I think it was little boy. I think that I think Teddy was right the first time. That's my answer.
00:30:49
Speaker
Yeah. Do you remember when we read that shit about the who twos and the, and the Tootsie Rolls? Probably. They're probably already TikToks about it, but they're just not as public on private accounts. Do they have TikTok and like Rwanda?
00:31:17
Speaker
Uh, no, I think that play, I think Rwanda is like part of North Korea and they don't have wifi. No, that's where the, that's where the, the who twos were. Yeah, I know. The Rwandan genocide. Oh, you're on your shit. You know.
00:31:39
Speaker
Did you know in North Korea, they had to save their poop and give it to the regime as fertilizer? I think I did hear about that. It was pretty nuts. They don't eat much. They literally have to get as much poop as they can. Do you think they scooped it up with their hands? Is it a poop-y scoop?
00:32:03
Speaker
I feel like they're like pooping into like a like a basically like a trash can with a bag around it and Then they'd save up all their poop and they give it to the regime That would smell so bad. Do you think that those? North Koreans are like happy like they think like oh, we're so lucky to have such a wonderful leader. I don't know anything about the normal life
00:32:29
Speaker
I think they're so closed off from other countries and
North Korea's Fertilizer Practices
00:32:33
Speaker
stuff. They don't they don't understand. Could you imagine living such a life where you're just happy to collect your poop? Do they probably think like we're out here collecting our poop, too? Well, I mean, yeah, I got some plants on the balcony, but. That's like once I want to want to wait. Wait, you should actually try that.
00:32:58
Speaker
I wonder how that would go. Cause don't they use like horse manure for fertilizer or something? Yeah, it's poop. Do you think my poop would work? I don't see why not. I'll have to look into it and I'll keep you updated on next week's episode. It's like the sneak peek, you know, that you get at the end of a TV show. Yeah. Next week on Edit Wiest.
00:33:27
Speaker
Hey guys, it's Jack here. Little update on the poop story. You will hear an update on the poop story. It's like, yeah, it's like the next episode of like Zoey 101. Oh, you got some skid marks.
00:33:53
Speaker
Oh, so it was visible on your pants. That is more than a skid mark. Yeah, that's like a whole poop. Yeah. God, I was going to say something. I've reached out to my job over the summer in my pants. Oh, really? Oh, you told me this. Didn't you have to give a presentation or something? I was giving the presentation. Oh. That is terrible.
00:34:22
Speaker
Yeah, it was, thankfully it was on Teams. So it was like a virtual pooping, but that's pretty different, but yeah. Okay. But why don't you be presenting and poop your pants and see how you handle it. And I had to finish the presentation with poop in my pants. How far along into this presentation were you percentage wise?
00:34:50
Speaker
Like 33%. So you had to do 66% of this presentation with shit in your pants? Yeah, it was about another 30 to 40 minutes with poop in my pants. Oh my god. And then I just went into the stall and then just stripped down and wrapped up my underwear and some toilet paper.
00:35:15
Speaker
Did you throw it away? Threw it away. Yep. Yep. RIP to Luke's P-A-N-T-S. Cause I ripped my pants. It was like more like I ripped my butthole into my pants. Is it possible to like rip your butthole? A hundred percent. A hundred percent. If you stretch it too far. For a male, not a female.
00:35:43
Speaker
Yeah. You, if your butt gets stretched too far. Couldn't tell you the last time I had one of those. Do you? And do you need hospital? Yeah. You should hospital daddy.
00:36:15
Speaker
Teddy, you can't just dismiss these important questions. Oh God. Um, keep an eye on that for me. You know, make sure it doesn't get bloody. Okay. Jordan, no, it really grinds my gears.
00:36:39
Speaker
Yeah. There are people in this country who should not be able to drive cars. Dude, we should put a limit on the age. We have a minimum age. We need a maximum age.
00:37:00
Speaker
I think two things. I think we need this test. I think we need to have a regulatory IQ test. And that should determine whether you have the right to drive a vehicle and vote.
IQ Test for Driving and Voting?
00:37:18
Speaker
Agreed. Now, I don't know what this God, there's so many dumb people. It's insane.
00:37:29
Speaker
You ever talk to somebody and you're just like, it's like painful to listen to them because they're that stupid. Every day. Teddy, this, I challenge you to find a group with a higher collective than us. See, we're on the same page here too. Yeah. We are top.
00:37:57
Speaker
0.1% of intelligence. We are flippin' Nancy. Flippin' Nancy. Do you understand that reference? I don't know what that means. No one, no one here understands that reference? Of course they don't, but it's provocative. It gets the people going. Okay, shut up. What? Why are you so hostile?
00:38:28
Speaker
That's a good question. It's been a long two days. Didn't get much sleep last night. Me neither. I drove home and I was behind like six different idiot cars and I just wanted to put my car in neutral on a hill and jump in front of it. But I didn't because we persevere. You can't let the intrusive thoughts win. Right, right.
00:38:57
Speaker
But you do you ever scream in your car when you're in rush hour, like like verbally scream? No, because I put on I put on like soft music to keep the piece. If I were if I were playing nothing or if I were playing any sort of music to rile me up, I probably would have just started screaming. I scream a lot. I've actually started using my horn more.
00:39:28
Speaker
Really? Yeah. Like aggressive warning? Yes. Like not like when I need to use it, but when like someone like cuts in front of me or doesn't let me in. Like when they do just like stupid things that could screw up, that could potentially like get me in my car in trouble. I'll throw a little horn at them and a little attitude.
00:39:58
Speaker
And if I'm behind them, I'll shake my head like I'm just very disappointed in them. Have you done that recently? What's the confirmed kill count?
00:40:27
Speaker
Oh, that's a pretty good KD. Yeah. That's a good ratio to eight, eight per. Yeah. That's also true. Yeah. Wow. That's three games of S and D and you're just going eight now. No. I'm thinking.
00:40:58
Speaker
Is this money coming out of my budget or the government? Will I get saved? Will I get saved? I'm not going on this journey. If I know I'll live, I'll go with you. You'll live, but you might like lose 20 pounds in the process. For free?
00:41:26
Speaker
But it's like an unhealthy 20 pounds, you know, like part of that muscle mass. Yeah, nevermind. I think I would do it. Because I would, you know, if we go into the middle of Antarctica,
00:41:42
Speaker
like that would be expensive to get us out because they don't even like nobody's even over there in the first place. Yeah, but that's a cold and desolate place. I'd rather go somewhere cool that has like a really good view but like it's almost impossible to get there. So like somewhere in the Amazon.
00:42:03
Speaker
No, I'm thinking like, like there's a big mountain in a remote area. That's like, it's a beautiful mountain range. And we decided to climb into a cave that we can't climb up anymore. And so they have to fly a helicopter out and design like a really cool, really long rope to come and like pull us out. So you basically fell down a crevasse on Everest.
00:42:32
Speaker
No, I purposely grappled down into a cave of a crevasse and then couldn't climb out of said crevasse. What happened to your grapple? The grapple's fine, but it's at a negative... To get in, it's at a negative angle. So if I were to climb up, I'd be like climbing back and up.
00:43:02
Speaker
He ran out of his fireworks. I don't have any fireworks. I'm trying to get lost, Teddy. This was your plan. That's true. Why are you asking me these questions? Of course I'm not going to be prepared for the situation I'm in. I have minimal resources. I feel like you fell down the crevasse. Okay. Well, you can go fuck yourself.
00:43:30
Speaker
I'm you asked me a question and I try to explain it to you and then you tell me how it's done. That's true. It's very rude. Yeah, both of you. What's going on? That's the question. I'm I'm asking you how it's done. Hello. No, I'm done with you, Luke. What did I do?
00:44:00
Speaker
I just wanted you to explain your Kergos. Oh, that's. La Boca de Hantas.
00:44:22
Speaker
Oh dude, that makes me want chips and salsa so bad. I want fucking Laffa Gotta in my mouth right now. Dad, you want to go to Laffa Gotta tomorrow? Either that or- Oh, okay, well that- What's his name? Krentist? The Krentist?
00:44:54
Speaker
Is that what you're thinking of? Yeah. Crentis to the dentist. Wait, what is that from? The office. Yeah, that's right. What was his name? Crentis. Crentis is actually more of an orthodontist, but you know,
00:45:22
Speaker
Yeah, but he does teeth sometimes. Yeah. Damn it, dude. Now I want a margarita. I just have a white cloth surge and it tastes fucking horrible. You've seen horrible bosses, right? Yeah. Would you, would you go to that dentistry? I, I would, um,
00:45:50
Speaker
I'm trying to think of a way to say that I really would go there. I would pay out of pocket for that dentistry. I would give my life earnings for that dentistry. Yeah, me too. Really good work there. I hear that a lot of the patients get knocked out too and I would still be fine with that.
00:46:17
Speaker
Yeah, 100%. That actually kind of makes it better.
Wisdom Teeth Surgery Tale
00:46:20
Speaker
You know, I think I think it might in a weird way because it's I've never, you know, experienced getting knocked out before. Yeah. Aside from a surgery, but I think it would make it better. I don't know if I've been knocked out either. I think I did once, but I woke up for my wisdom teeth. I woke up in the middle of it. And they were you woke up in the middle of your of your wisdom teeth.
00:46:47
Speaker
Yeah, I was out like a fucking light for that. Thank God. I wish. Yeah, dude, that's gotta be. Did we lose Teddy again? Teddy. Oh, hey Ted. Yeah. Uh, that sound, that's like a, that's like a nightmare right there for me.
00:47:15
Speaker
Waking did you should try it one time did could you feel pain? No, I couldn't feel anything, but I could see blood Yeah, and I didn't like hear any did you hear any like crunch yeah The crunches I'm cringing right my whole body just like seized that was that that sounds terrible I
00:47:42
Speaker
It wasn't, it wasn't super cool, but like it also wasn't the worst thing in the world. You know, and then like they gave me some more drugs and I just, I think I just passed back out after a few minutes. If you were a dental assistant, do you think you'd get like hooked on laughing gas? Have you had the gas? Uh, yeah.
00:48:05
Speaker
I've never had that book in my life. I want to. It wasn't for a dental procedure. It was for a cosmetic procedure. Uh, did it make everything funny? No, no, but it made my, my head feel real good. Would you recommend if you could get your hands on a tank of that? Yeah. Yeah. I'd recommend it. How do you think?
00:48:34
Speaker
Do you think you can just like buy it? No, but you could probably buy everything you need to make it. And then we could just use the that one place we worked, we could just use their lab and make it ourselves.
00:48:52
Speaker
Dude, it's just nitrous oxide and it is legal to own and not subject to the EA purview. We can just buy it. It's you just, you literally inhaled knots. Don't tell me these things. I didn't want to know that. All right. Thanks. Okay. Yeah.
00:49:22
Speaker
Dude, you just need to be 18. Stop telling me these things. What? So like, I'm gonna go buy a can then maybe, you know? Yeah, no. Just try it. I wouldn't. Is that like Whippets? Whippets I think is like helium based.
00:49:52
Speaker
whippets. I've never seen a whippet before. I saw a fair amount of whippets when I was in Amsterdam. This guy we were with from Colorado Springs, he was doing whippets and like he was also really high and I'm pretty sure he took some other drugs but he was pretty convinced he was talking to God that night and
00:50:14
Speaker
That was an interesting experience. He like picked up his phone and he was like, hello? And I was like, bro, what the fuck are you doing? And he like, I look at his phone and it's like black and I pulled it off his ear. It was still black. Like he was not talking to anyone. And he was like, he would grab my hands, like stop fucking touching the phone. I'm like, whoa. And he told me afterwards that he was having, he was on a phone call with God.
00:50:43
Speaker
Did he seem like a stupid person? Uh, he seemed like someone who had dabbled in drugs. Well, he was having whippets, so I would assume so. Yeah, that's true. I didn't do any whippets when I was in Amsterdam. Dude, whippets are nitrous oxide. Whippets are laughing, yes. When I was there, I only, I smoked some pot and then
00:51:16
Speaker
I had some late nights at the district, but that was about it.
Amsterdam Cleanliness
00:51:22
Speaker
How was the dam? Was the dam cool? Oh, I was, I was kidding about the district. When we were there, they were like having like another surge of COVID or some shit. So they closed everything down at midnight.
00:51:35
Speaker
Oh, that's so sad. The first night we were there, we could be out. And then the second night we were there, we got this emergency alert and it was like, everybody needs to be back in their accommodations at midnight. So that sucked. But the dam was pretty cool.
00:52:00
Speaker
It is one of the, it is, I think it may be the cleanest city I've ever been in. Even though they got the Disney. Yeah, it's no even like every single part of that place is just clean. It's like you're walking through Disney World. Okay, Disneyland then. Dude, my sister peed in a Disneyland ride.
00:52:31
Speaker
I was more talking about the streets. Wasn't really talking about the rides, but you know. Well, no, I know. I just, I thought I would share that with you because I think it's funny. She peed on a Disneyland ride. She was like 10 and she got scared on one of the drops and just decided I'm going to fucking pee.
00:52:54
Speaker
I don't know if she could control it. I think it just came out. And then there was pee sloshing all in the car. Is it like a genetic thing that women have worse bladders than men? I think so. I think it must be right. If you also noticed that girl pee smells worse than guy pee.
00:53:22
Speaker
No. It does, dude. And I'm trying to think of like a situation where I could even compare the two, but I don't think I can. It'll come naturally, don't worry. Well, I know, but like... Just be aware the next time that you're around girl P. No, I've been around girl P.
00:53:48
Speaker
But I've never been like, wow, that's way smellier than my pee. Really? Yeah. It's overwhelmingly bad for me. Well, I know you grew up with what, three women? Three women. Yeah, I'm sorry. But still, I've never noticed that. Thank you.
00:54:11
Speaker
Do you think that's had any effect on your life growing up with three women? Yeah, I think it gave me autism.
Autism and Living with Women?
00:54:21
Speaker
Yeah, I was just about to say that. You fuck. And I'm not even joking. Oh, speaking of autism, I need to call someone really quick before this. We have five minutes left. Yeah. Give me a sec.
00:54:39
Speaker
Who are you calling? No, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it too much, too much. Dude, why do they do this? What, never pick up?
00:55:09
Speaker
Hey, what's up? Hey, what's up? On a scale from one to 10, how much autism do you think you have? Me. Yeah. Scale of one to 10. Yep.
00:55:26
Speaker
Okay. And then he said, yeah, three, two, and then if you were to grow up in a house with three women, how much autism do you think you'd be at right now? I mean, I did a good two. So three instead, like four, not that much more, four and a half.
00:55:51
Speaker
All right, thanks. There, there it is, folks. David Fogel is a misogynist at heart. Thanks, David, for your call. Have a wonderful rest of your night. Why do I have nine autism out of 10 then? That must be a genetic thing. Oh, this broadcast brought to you by autism.
00:56:17
Speaker
What can autism do for you? Oh, yeah. Is it true that like autism is like, um, it's, it's like, uh, it's just random. Like it just happens. Like what's the correlation with autism? I don't know. I think you can just like randomly get it. If you had an autistic kid, be honest, would you keep it
00:56:45
Speaker
Yeah. Cause like I'm autistic. So like, you know, I'd probably vibe with him. Yeah, you guys. Yeah. I'd probably be homies with my autistics on. Be on the same wavelength, you know? Yeah. But like, is he like nonverbal autism?
00:57:06
Speaker
No, he's verbal, but he's, he's not, he's not quite completely verbal. You know, he's like, he's like halfway. Yeah, it's tough. But if he's with you, like he'll verb, he'll verb out. Okay. Yeah. I'd vibe with him. Yeah, for sure. Would you let him shoot your gun? Um, with proper training. Yes.
00:57:35
Speaker
Dude, I want to get my own gun. I do too. I want to get a shotgun and go to the clay range. The clay pigeons? I want a shotgun and I want like a Glock. Yeah, I want something for personal protection. Yeah, just stay strapped around the house.
00:58:02
Speaker
Have you seen the Tosh.0 episode where the guy just shoots his penis on a table? No. It's, it's graphic, let me tell you. And, um, then the dude screams after he shoots his own penis. Did it like fall off or did he just? No, I think there was just like a gaping hole.
00:58:30
Speaker
interesting like one minute and 30 second warning warning warning back before the episode ends I think he's I don't even think he's listening anymore but he might be back I think he just left he's probably getting a McDonald's hash brown oh my god that sounds so good oh wait but they don't serve him at 9 p.m.
00:59:00
Speaker
One minute warning, warning, warning. Dude, that's kind of an obnoxious, um, like, yeah, I put it in, I put it in just because, I don't know. This podcast is brought to you by Quicken Lounge. How much Quicken can you chicken?
00:59:41
Speaker
Well, if you end up in the neighborhood, let me know. Well, thank you for listening to Headed Wiest. This is me, and I'm probably out. Five seconds go. Goodbye, everybody.