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Going Door to Door in Edmonton
15 Plays6 months ago
Aparentlyyyyy... Beer is a food. Idk bout u, but we're feeling 22
Recommended
Transcript
Podcast Returns with Excitement
00:00:02
Speaker
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop
00:00:30
Speaker
It feels great to be back here once again, eight minutes late, starting off another epi.
Guest Introduction and Humor
00:00:38
Speaker
Welcome to headed waste epi 22. If we're talking about things that are now legal for our podcast, nothing has changed. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22.
00:00:54
Speaker
Oh, that's a good one. Nice. The pod is now older than me. Oh, wow. We're going to do something special, actually, on this episode. We're going to let the guests introduce themselves just because it feels like they're almost not a guest anymore, even though they definitely are. They're like, they're like,
00:01:23
Speaker
a staple, you know? Yeah. Would you call me an honorary member? What if I'm like a fan club guy? I'd like an intern. Okay. Yeah, I'll take intern. Unpaid. Yeah, because I don't get any share from the ad region.
Parental Feedback and Podcast Popularity
00:01:44
Speaker
Right. Yeah. This is our unpaid intern. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's in it for the love of the game.
00:01:52
Speaker
Yeah, I just like being here drinking with the fellas over a computer screen. We're going to let our unpaid intern introduce himself for this episode. Take it away. What's up? What's up, weasters? What's up, weast infections? It's love. I'm drinking for like the fourth episode, third or fourth episode. Oh, dude, fuck. We have to give him his medal. We give out medals for every fourth episode you're on.
00:02:20
Speaker
Oh, for real? It's like a leap year. Yeah. Wow. It's like, so what do I win? You know, that little factor of my dick virtually? No, no, I don't want that. I don't want that. I'm an intern, isn't that? From the movie up. Yeah. You know, he has all those things on his wilderness explorers. Yeah. Yeah, you get one of those.
00:02:46
Speaker
Sweet is it is it like is it Luke's penis? No, it's a compass and it all straight to waste Straight to waste. Oh good idea That's better than that's better than that never mind then you're frontal I mean arguably, I don't know it depends on who you're talking to and if we're talking to
00:03:15
Speaker
the least, the least infections. I think they would agree with me. I think they, I think they'd like to see a full frontal. Uh, well, we, I actually, we have a question. So, wait, uh, did your parents yet visit you? Visit me? Yeah. Like recently? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They helped me move out.
00:03:42
Speaker
Okay, so Victoria said on their drive to you, they were gonna listen to the pod. Do you know if that was the case? I, I'm not 100% sure. But I think my mom, I think I think I think mother did. I'm both terrified and excited. She said she hates the burps.
00:04:09
Speaker
We don't burp on this podcast, you fucking kidding? She's not a fan of the burps and then also hated when Jack was frying chicken or whatever he was doing that episode. When I was peeing? When you were peeing. That's pretty expected out of the mother. Yeah, but they were like, hey, they're like, good job. That sounds like a few things that maybe dad would enjoy. No, no.
00:04:50
Speaker
Yeah, I mean it could have been a lot, a lot, like a lot worse.
00:04:56
Speaker
But I wish we knew that they were going to listen before we recorded. Yeah, that's some pretty critical information that they could out from a certain somebody who's not on today's episode. She signed the contract. He signed it.
00:05:20
Speaker
It wasn't notarized. Oh, that was the non-notarized contract. It was the non-notarized one. Yeah. You guys can't trust said person to distribute information properly, I think, with anything. So I think that's a little bit on you guys. Yeah. I mean, she's definitely made my can't distribute information list. Yeah. That's actually really good. Yeah.
00:05:48
Speaker
Uh, who else is, who else is on that list per chance? Uh, I would tell you, but then I'd have to put myself on that list. Oh, that's fair. That's a good point. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Good point. Good point. I shouldn't even ask.
Playful Breakfast Draft and Ideology Celebration
00:06:10
Speaker
It was kind of rude. Honestly. Yeah. I know. I know. I know. I'm sorry. Um,
00:06:17
Speaker
We got a jam packed happy today. I'm still thrown off. I don't think, do we, do we burp on this? Do we burp a lot? I've never once burped in my life. I don't think I've ever burped on this podcast ever. Ever. I mean, maybe, maybe it was a them thing. You know, they're old. So maybe that's here. Yeah. It just doesn't make sense to me. Yeah. Quite ridiculous. Actually that that's a review that that's unfair.
00:06:45
Speaker
Hopefully they don't put that on our, hopefully they don't review it on Apple podcasts like that. All things considered though, I am actually honored that we had two full blown adults listen to our podcast.
00:07:03
Speaker
That's when you know that we're just blowing up. Honestly, like it feels I like I feel, you know, when people get on YouTube and they're like, they have this really heartfelt emotional video because they got a million subscribers. Yeah. That's all I feel right now. That's a great way to describe it because I feel warm and tingly inside as well. Yeah. Super tingly. Especially this is, you know, fellas, it's really taken off. Damn.
00:07:35
Speaker
It's a shame you don't get any money from it. I think our audio base might have doubled last podcast. Really? From that. Oh, I got some bones to pick with some of the takes in that last episode too. Holy. Hey now.
00:07:58
Speaker
I would just like to formally hand out that L to Jack for losing the breakfast draft. Thank you to all the loyal yeast infections who supported me throughout the process. I owe it to you for this win. I knew I had the best draft, but you guys just reinforced my takes. And for that, I salute you. Good luck and good night, San Diego.
00:08:28
Speaker
Yeah, I'm gonna hop in there real quick. Act like you've been there before, dickhead. I could have been a lot meaner about that, just saying. You could have also just not brought it up.
00:08:43
Speaker
Well, you guys were kind of pooping on me, so I felt like I deserved a little pooping on you, you know? A re-poop, if you will. Okay, well, I also would like to mention that that result was rigged. No. There were so many votes cast from deceased people, it's unbelievable.
00:09:11
Speaker
The amount of votes that rolled in past 12 a.m. is unbelievable. Where are all those votes coming from? Are you trying to discount your loyal listeners right now? Are you really attacking our listening base? He is. I refuse. I project the results. That's ridiculous. He's personally attacking me right now with those statements. You could have had a valid vote. It's just all the other ones that he bought.
00:09:38
Speaker
I don't know. I think Luke won that pretty handily. I forgot exactly what you guys had, but I remember listening to it and being like, yeah, Luke's kind of wiping the floor. The other guy took orange juice in like round two. Yeah, that was crazy. That was a wild choice. You're saying orange juice before mimosa. Which is nuts. He took OJ in round three. Yeah, so you could have got OJ round five. I don't even know if you draft OJ in that scenario. No, you don't.
00:10:08
Speaker
in in the hash browns in round five i mean is uh is uh dude the second you pulled that potato the potato card just completely killed everyone else yep that was like that was like i got the last infinity stone in my gauntlet you know yeah you snap boom game over yeah mr stark also um
00:10:34
Speaker
I know that I'll just kind of lead you into this one, Luke, but Luke has some very exciting news to share with
Luke's Segment and Food Rankings
00:10:40
Speaker
everyone today. Now that we are in the month of June. It is June. Exciting news to share with all of our listeners.
00:10:52
Speaker
Yeah. As you all know, this is Jack's month and we should all be really kind to him and supportive of his decisions. This month is to celebrate Jack and we need to all come together to reinforce his ideologies. Yes. Yep.
00:11:16
Speaker
I mean, reinforce. How the turntables, bitch. How the turntables. I thought you guys were dating. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
00:11:41
Speaker
It's a portake. It's a drink that I'm currently consuming. It's whatever I want it to be. All right. Currently at this point. Okay. Apparently, I've been on live television before. Apparently, I don't watch the news.
00:12:13
Speaker
Grandpa just gives me the remote and we watch the Powerball. God, this is one of my favorites. Oh, you know what that means. It's time for our first segment of the day, sponsored by Gatorade and in conjunction with the Catholic Church.
00:12:41
Speaker
Gatorade, what can you put in your kid? Luke, take it away. That was a really great ad read, Jack. Thanks. I put more emotion into that one than I usually do. You want me to get into my segment right now? Yep, yep. Because I typically go first, and you said you were ready today, so I thought I'd give you your opportunity to shine in the spotlight.
00:13:05
Speaker
yeah yeah yeah okay so i'm currently working out a little title for my segments right now but uh for now we're going to call this luke's lovely little playhouse i'm looking for a little bit more alliteration in there but uh
00:13:20
Speaker
We're going to stick with that for now. I don't like that name. That sounds so creepy. That sounds very creepy. That's kind of a point. That's like a little bit of a point. Oh, dude. Well, let's hear what the segment is first, and then we could. Oh, dude. We can really figure this out. My segment, it's like a little bit of mixed mash, a little mishmash. And we do some blind rankings, and then we do some drafts. OK, but you could call it like,
00:13:48
Speaker
Uh, like Luke's lucrative lunchtime or something. And then like, I know it's not lunch, lunchtime, lunchtime maybe, but, um, you know, call it a little play house.
00:14:03
Speaker
I'm disappointed that this was not workshopped pre-epi. I've been thinking and I just couldn't, I haven't been able to think of something. Well, then you can ask for help. Don't go on our show talking about your little playhouse, dude. I think it's kind of perfect because now the listeners can give their input. That's true. But also I think, okay, Jack, I think we're being a little nitpicky here, but also don't call it your little playhouse.
00:14:34
Speaker
Luke's loquacious lunch time. That's worse. Luke's lovely draft time.
00:14:53
Speaker
No, but we need an L word. What's an L word for? It's kind of an alliteration. Uh, uh, list. Luke loves lists. Boom. Oh, beautiful. Right there. See? All right. I got to write that down so I never forget it. Luke. And I'm going to put it in. Luke's lovely list. Luke loves lists. And I'm going to make a little jingle. It's going to be like, boop, boop, boop.
00:15:23
Speaker
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, cracker, DJ cracker. Where's cracker? Catsan. Yeah. And then Luke's lovely list. It is going to sparkle. Okay. So. Can an audio release sparkle? The first thing. It's more of a jingle or a chum. No, but I want, you know, that effect where it's like. I know what you're saying, but it's an audio. It's not like a.
00:15:52
Speaker
Yeah, but it sounds like crinkling foil but higher pitched. Well, I think it's the same sound that happens when like Tinkerbell leaves her little bottle. Or when Shakira's hips don't lie. Oh, good one. Those hips really don't. They don't lie at all. No, they tell the truth.
00:16:15
Speaker
They tell the truth. They're like Honest Abe over there, those hips. Honest Abe. Okay, can I get into my list? Yeah, go ahead. Okay, so we're going to start with the blind rankings first and then we're going to do a draft, okay? And we'll do another, we'll post the results.
00:16:38
Speaker
on our Instagram again for some listener interaction afterwards. Wonderful. Okay. So we're gonna do three blind rankings here. The first one that we're doing is backyard cookout food. Ooh. And I got five, again, I got five items and we're gonna blindly rank them.
00:17:05
Speaker
Do these food items have to be made in the backyard or can they just be brought to like a backyard barbecue?
00:17:11
Speaker
They can be brought to you're not you're not drafting here. I'm giving you five. You're blind. Oh, I know. I know. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking about what's all encompassing. Yeah, we got to like kind of brainstorm. This is like your homies backyard for for a barbecue. Got it. Got it. Got it. Locked. Locked. Locked. Got it. All right. So the first thing we're putting out here is pulled pork. Hmm.
00:17:38
Speaker
How many are there total? Sorry. Five. Five. Okay. Oh, dude. Hot take. No. Hot take. Oh, no. He's going to say something dumb. I'm not a big pulled pork guy. He did it. He said something dumb. Dude, good pulled pork is... There's nothing better. Brisket. Burning. Oh, I mean, that's great. No, you can't say that to a Jew and an honorary Jew.
00:18:07
Speaker
Do you not eat brisket? Wait, what? Jack, brisket's gonna catch on first? Who's gonna catch on first? Yeah, wait, is this the other way? Yeah, it's the other way around. It's the other way around. It's the other way around. Juice can't eat pork. Juice can't eat pork. Yeah, but that's why I'm confused. Pork is way higher in general. No, I was making a joke, okay? Cut on.
00:18:36
Speaker
I'm thinking I'm thinking pork is three or four. I'd put it I like it at three. I'm okay with that. I'll follow you. We'll go three. We'll go three. Okay. I'm this is I'm not gonna lie to you guys. This is gonna be a really hard one. And I don't know if there is a correct order. But next we're gonna go with ribs. Go lower. Really? I go for
00:19:03
Speaker
Okay, but what? Cause I'm thinking mac and cheese and potato salad have to be in here. I'm thinking mac and cheese has to be up there. And I'm also thinking like fruit slash watermelon.
00:19:16
Speaker
It's got to be up there as well. That's like a pool party. I don't know if it's a barbecue. No, that's a barbecue, dude. There's even corn on the cob would work for that, too. I think there's there's room up top and I think ribs go down low. I I think you talked me into it. I'll go for with you for ribs. Yeah, because I thought for yep. All right. All right. Next, we got beers. Oh, beers. Oh, fuck.
00:19:44
Speaker
Is that a number one? Do you say beer? Yeah. Oh, beer. Oh, shit. Because I think mac and cheese is one. It's got to be one. But we don't know if that's on the list. That's true. But do you think Luke would fuck? Luke just put beer on a food list. He probably didn't like mac and cheese. But it's such a valid pick, too. Beer is food.
00:20:14
Speaker
Have you never had beer for dinner before? Don't defend it. I said it's where it's valid. I said it's a valid pick, OK? Liquid lunch, twice a week. I think we have to go two. I think we have to go two. You have to go two. Because there's a good piece of food better. See, but here's the thing. That leaves us five and one. Which is, yeah, which is sketch. Either we go five or either we go five or two. That's where I'm at. It's not. It's definitely not five. We're throwing it at two. We're going two. Two. All right, boys.
00:20:44
Speaker
You have played wisely. Mac and cheese. Number one. Nice. That's fucking cool, dude. We're fucking killing this right now. Come on. That's one. Let's go. Give me some fucking coleslaw. Give me cornbread. The last one, burgers.
00:21:05
Speaker
Yeah, five. I'm completely okay with that, dude. I'm totally fine with that. I put burgers over ribs. But you know what? I can't be mad with your list here. That's a tough list to make. I think we nailed that. And also burgers are what you make them.
00:21:25
Speaker
That's also true. You can have a good burger, or you can have a life-changing burger. It depends. Exactly. You can make use of it. And it's so wishy-washy. Can I take your order? Nice. Nice. I think we killed it. That was fucking... Wow. Dude, are you trying to fucking blow my ears out? Let's calm down. Good shit, Jack. I had to celebrate, you know?
00:21:51
Speaker
All right. Now it's time for me to draft a better draft than you guys. No, no, no, no. We got, we got some more blind rankings. Oh, sweet. Let's go. I like these. All right.
Candy Draft and Audience Reactions
00:22:02
Speaker
We're going to blind rank B is. Oh, all right. The first one of course, light. Wow. Two. I was thinking two or three. I like two.
00:22:19
Speaker
I'll go two. It's not a bad beer at all. It's not bad, but it's also, I think, I don't know. It's not number one. I think there's definitely a better one. I don't like IPAs at all. I've been on a voodoo kick too. Voodoo's are fucking so good. I'm going to put my Coors Light at two. We'll go two. All right, ready? Coors banquet. One. Jackson. Why did we go two, dude? Why did we go two with Coors Light, dude? I would have fired, I would have put banquet at two.
00:22:50
Speaker
Yeah, the course banquet has to go one now. I would have them flipped, but they're basically I'd say they're even in my opinion. No, I'm thinking I think you go Coors Light three banquet two. No, whatever. It's too late now. You can't I guess we can put Coors banquet at three. Yeah, but that seems sacrilegious. I got it. No, but I drink more Coors Light than I do banquet.
00:23:15
Speaker
Yeah, we'll go bank with three. We'll go bank with three. First my heart, but we'll go bank with three. I feel, um, I feel that. Show me. I know. I had a seething pain in it, you know?
00:23:29
Speaker
Yeah, that choice was not easy, but I think it had to be done to secure our future. I imagine your lower calf might have felt a seething pain as well. Yeah, it lit up. It got to be like glue. Anyway, so we got light at two, bank at three. Keystone light. Five. Five. Dude, I get it, but I love it. No discussion. Shut up. No discussion. That's five. Five. Blue moon.
00:24:15
Speaker
If you didn't catch on those were all Molson Coors branded beers.
00:24:24
Speaker
So, uh, that was kind of, that was intentional because it's the best, but, uh, we're going to blind rank Luke's favorite beers real quickly. And then we'll go to the draft. Favorite beers. Go for it. Favorite beers. And I'm going to start you off just like I started you off last time. Of course, like we got to go shit. Wait, we're doing another beers. We're doing his favorite beers. Luke's favorite beers.
00:24:52
Speaker
Okay, well, this is based on, this is, we're judging this off of you. Yeah. I think we go... I'm giving you five of my favorite beids. I know we're gonna rank them. Yeah, I'd put that at three. I'd go three. Yep. Stella. I'd go two. I'm fine with that. I just, I'd rather have that in the middle at three. That's okay. Me too. Me too, I think. But we're fine. Corona light.
00:25:27
Speaker
He's gonna put an IPA in there. I'm gonna want five. Voodoo's gonna go one. Voodoo's gonna go one. One. One. One. One. One. Thank you. All right, Voodoo Fruit Force. Wow, that sucks. I love those. That is mine.
00:25:48
Speaker
Great, but I don't mind you putting them at five because I can't just chain rip some fruit forces, you know? No, because you'd die after like three. Yeah. So I like you guys. I like your list today, guys. I think we did great. I think we did great. I think we did very well. I think we killed that. All right. Now we get into the contentious portion of Luke's Luke Love list. Luke Love lamp.
00:26:23
Speaker
Do you really love vamp or are you just saying that? I love vamp. I love vamp. Are you sure? Because it seems like you're just listing things in the room and saying you love them. I love vamp. All right. I'm going to give you the option for our category here. I'm between two.
00:26:46
Speaker
And, uh, I want your guys's input here. So we're either going to draft candies or we're going to draft cereals. Candy. Uh, I'm taking candy too. All right. All right. Let me, uh, dude, cereals, like it's too limited. Honestly, there's a lot, but like it's kind of, but there's not five rounds of it. No, there's five rounds of cereal brother. There's at least 15 cereals.
00:27:16
Speaker
I think I've maybe had five cereals in my whole life. Are you serious? I'm, I'm a big cereal guy. Let's go candy. All right. More. It's more polarizing too. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Yep. That's right. No one, it's provocative. All right. Let me just write our names down.
00:27:45
Speaker
so that I can get the audience's feedback, you know? Okay. And we're going to do it this way. Okay. I am going to random number generate a number from one to three. And I'm going to ask first,
00:28:10
Speaker
I'm going to ask Wub to pick a number between one and three. I'll go three. Okay. Now depending on how far away you are from this number is going to determine your draft position. Okay. The number is two. So you're going to go second because you're one away. Yep. Now Jack, you're going to guess a number between one and two.
00:28:35
Speaker
And if you get the number right, you're first. If you get the number wrong, you're last. All right? All right. All right. What's your number? If he ain't first, you're last. I'm taking one. All right. And the number's one. So it goes Jack, Wub, Puke.
00:28:53
Speaker
Nice. That's right. And with candy, I'm assuming we're also doing chocolate, like chocolate bars and shit. Yeah, chocolate candies. All candies. Anything you might get on Halloween or in the candy aisle of the grocery store. Bet. All right. Perfect. All right. Also, Jack is first. Jack. Let me start mine off. Let me start mine off with a little
00:29:24
Speaker
me up a little of the Kit Kat bar. Oh, that's a good one. That's a solid candy. I there's nothing to say there. That's just a that's like you're picking a you're picking somebody in the first round that you know is gonna have a high floor. Yep. And they have a catchy jingle too. And yeah, it kind of just gravitated towards it. So mm hmm.
00:29:52
Speaker
For my first overall pick, I might be offending the non-peanut eaters of the world. If you're intolerant. If you're intolerant. You're penis intolerant. If people are penis intolerant, they're not going to like this pick. I am going with Reese's cups.
00:30:12
Speaker
Fuck, dude. I thought you were going to go not with Reese's. Peanut butter chocolate flavor. Peanut butter chocolate. Great wind, shepherd. Oh, yes. And they make the morning time epic. All right. Also a cereal. Also a cereal. Yep. That would have been a goat cereal. That really fucks up my first round pick because you guys picked what I would have picked.
00:30:41
Speaker
So now I think I gotta go... This is tough. This is really tough. Do I pander to the audience or do I pander to myself? Since the first overall pick, you gotta be smart with it. Oh, god. With the third selection...
00:31:03
Speaker
This is personally something that I love, but I think that they are very popular amongst the crowd and I'm going to go with the nerds gummies. Clusters, the clusters? The clusters. Wow. You could have gotten that late. Yeah, you could have gotten that late. I'm holding on to a few.
00:31:25
Speaker
that I could get late. See, I don't I just I like it. I like the pick. I do like the pick. It's just your value there may have been the timing. Agreed. Agreed. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. I get a second pick here. I get a second pick here. You do. Right. Because we're snaking it. We're snaking. We're snaking. We're snakles. There's a snake in my boot. Ooh.
00:31:51
Speaker
Nice. I think that's just a classic. I don't like what I'm doing right now, but I'm picking it. I mean, yeah. I don't love my draft. Okay. Well, it's up to you. Wait, what? Freaking out, guys. I'm freaking out, man. I'm freaking out. Wait, Luke, what did you pick? What was your second pick? Snickers. Oh, you took mine. All right. Snickers satisfies.
00:32:19
Speaker
It does. It's satisfying. You're not you when you're hungry. I think about this for a second here. You did kind of take mine. You know what? I am going to go, this might be a hot take, but I love them. They're probably my favorite candy. I'm going to go with Smarties, the little sugar. Okay. I'm happy with you taking that. I didn't, I don't want that. I don't really like him. That's a personal favorite of mine.
00:32:47
Speaker
And you can smoke them and look cool when you're a young person. For sure. No, I get it. I get it. You got two picks here. I've been thinking about it. I'm gonna stick to my chocolate trend here and I'm gonna go with left Twix. Take the left one. I was hoping that would fall to me.
00:33:18
Speaker
Yep, and then with my third pick, I'm gonna get off of my little chocolate train. And I'm gonna head over to, I believe they're called warheads.
00:33:41
Speaker
I don't think anyone eats those for fun. Those are like, hey, eat a warhead and see what happens. I'm like, fuck with you guys. Jack and I went through a phase of eating toxic waste for fun. Yeah. Wow. That's insane. I mean, warheads are... I actually, I do like them. I really do. And that was more of a personal pick, I guess.
00:34:03
Speaker
but I'm sticking to it. I like it. Okay. Back to you, club. I think this pick has gone overlooked so far, and I'm surprised I'm getting a third round, and I just remembered it. I should have got it last round, but I didn't, and I went with Smarties. This is a hard pick, but now I'm going with another Sour Treat Sour Patch Kids.
00:34:28
Speaker
Oh, that's a good pick. It's a good pick, but it wasn't what I was thinking of. Third round value. I'm happy with it. I think that covers all variants. When we drafted these, I think the variants like Sour Patch Watermelons fall under that. Yeah. Okay. I'll accept that. I've seen Sour Patch Kids, Sour Patch Watermelon. They're both amazing. Yeah, I agree. That was a great pick. That was a good pick.
00:34:56
Speaker
I'm sad. I didn't think about it, but, uh, I'm happy you didn't pick what I'm about to pick and that would be starburst. That's fine. Take it. It's stuck in your teeth. Good pick. And, uh, right after that, we're going to go with shit. I'm thinking of two things right now and I don't know if
00:35:28
Speaker
I'm going to pick peanut butter M&Ms. Wow. Great pick. Thank you. That's a great pick. Those are my favorite candy of all time. I forgot about them. Completely forgot about M&Ms. I'm assuming mini M&Ms and also regular M&Ms and all variants of M&Ms fall under your M&Ms pick.
00:35:48
Speaker
Yeah, I think we should play it that way. Yeah, if I get all sour patch you can get all yeah, okay That's why there's a story writing peanut butter at the top. Yeah, those are good ones as they should be Mmm. All right. All right. Well back to you. I'm going back back to the sour route and This might be Jax
00:36:14
Speaker
Nope. I'm hoping it is. Oh, it's not. All right. Well, I'm going to go with the Sour Punch straws. That's a pretty good pick too. Those are good. That's a staple really in most childhoods. I'm thinking movie theaters. Yeah. Movie theater pool. Yup. Big events. Yeah. I really liked that pick actually. That's a good one.
00:36:45
Speaker
All right, Jack, you got two here to finish off your squadron. And I let both of these fall intentionally. I'm pretty surprised that both of them fell this far. And it's really, I think it's going to solidify this draft for me. I don't know which one to take first. It doesn't really matter, but I think I'm going to go first with the classic crunch bar.
00:37:16
Speaker
That was my favorite as a kid to get in Halloween. Okay. I couldn't believe it. I thought of it for second round and I gambled and I just let it wait. Elite pick. Yeah, that's a good value pick. Yep. And then for my last pick, also pretty good value pick. I'm going to take a fruit roll up or fruit by the foot.
00:37:42
Speaker
Is that candy? Yes, it's candy. I think it's candy. I just don't love that pick. I'll change it. No, no, no. But it's the same category. Like you guys got Eric, you got all the M&Ms, you got all the others. What do you mean? I wasn't for roll up. It changes the same thing, but it's just like sour.
00:38:05
Speaker
which one hours fruit fruit by the airheads extremes. Yeah. That's not the same thing. Oh no, no, no. Oh my God. Whatever. I'll keep it. I love my fruit rollups. Those are so good. I would, I wasn't, I wasn't going to pick airheads extremes. So if you want to add that to your roster to bolster it up a little bit, I'm okay with that.
00:38:32
Speaker
I wasn't going to pick it. So I'll let him change it if he wants to. But, uh, like I'm not picking it. I mean, do you want a Jack? I'm going to keep it at my tattoo edition for rollups. Okay. You want me to specify tattoo just for the polls. Correct. Okay. Now I'm in a bind here. I don't know if I go with my personal favorite kitty.
00:39:03
Speaker
or if I try to pander to the least infections out there. I'd go personal, dude. It's a fifth round. I think so. It is a fifth round pick. Yeah, I think I have a pretty good line up here so far. So I'm going to go with the hot take here. I'm going to go with Almond Joy. That's a polarizing pick, but I don't hate it. I absolutely hate it. It's my favorite candy.
00:39:32
Speaker
But I respect the personal pick. I really do. I think it's gonna knock me down in the polls a little bit, but I just have to speak my truth. I think people hated them when they were kids, but their tastes have matured. Yes, I think maybe.
00:39:53
Speaker
I think maybe the older generations, like my parents, maybe it will appreciate my list a little bit more with Amunjoy. Yeah. I mean, they're a big part of our demographic now. Big part of who follows our account on Instagram. They're a man portion of our audience. I need all parents to listen to this pod. My last pick, I'm struggling hard here. Um,
00:40:27
Speaker
I think I'm gonna go with... Fuck. There's like four things I'm trying to think of right now. If you say candy corn, I'm gonna punch you through the street. Absolutely fucking not. That's disgusting. I'm scared. I know people who like it and I want to kill them every day. Oh god. See, I don't know if I just, I know I have peculiar taste.
00:40:57
Speaker
So I don't know if me picking what I like is gonna fuck me here. But I just pick one of the things that I like that I think people know. And I'm gonna pick... Shit. I'm gonna pick a hundred grand. Oof. Wow.
00:41:22
Speaker
I don't know. Congratulations to our third place team. Yeah. I don't know. Last week. Fuck face. You just put a hundred grand on your candy draft. On your candy. Insane. Yeah. What are you? Oh shit, dude. I just thought of something that I should do it. The pick is in dude. We missed two big, we missed two big categories. I know. Well, there's one that I knew we should have done.
00:41:50
Speaker
We miss Swedish fish. I was going to say a Hershey kiss. Hershey kiss. Don't write those either. What was it bad to say the wax Coke bottles? What? Those are going to throw back. When you go to the candy store, you get the little wax bottles filled with juices. Yeah, those are good. I like those.
00:42:14
Speaker
Skittles! Also got, yep skittles. We miss skittles. Sour skittles. Fuck me, dude. We miss skittles. Oh, I forgot that they came in sour form. Yeah, but you would have gotten every form. You got the tropical ones, like the new, like the different, like the blue package. God damn it. Dude, that should have been taken like second round. Yeah, I know. We completely forgot about skittles. God, that was total wheeze. That was very wheeze. Well, we're going to see who wins in the polls tonight.
Acknowledgments and Humorous Shoutouts
00:42:44
Speaker
Thank you for listening to Luke Loves Lamp. Lists. Lists. And lamp. And lamp. Luke Loves Lamp List. Shout out lamp. Shout out lamp. Okay. Do you want to do the closing ad read? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This segment has been brought to you by Liquid IV.
00:43:15
Speaker
What can you put in your adult body? Shout out Liquid IV. That's a good little product that they came up with. Yeah, those save you after a good night of booze and, you know, have one before you go to bed, have one when you wake up, you're fine by noon. Yeah, it's true. And they paid for the more important ad space too, which is a shame for the next ad space coming up.
00:43:46
Speaker
Dude, I'm like, so this draft could go either way here. It definitely could go either way between two teams for sure. I completely agree. Shut the fuck up.
00:44:00
Speaker
You just fruit by the foot, get out of here. Yeah, wait, wait, can we, can you, can you read off what everyone's listening? I know what mine is, but can you read off what all, what's your answer? Fredo got Kit Kat, left Twix, Warheads, Crunch, and Fruit by the Foot Tattoo Edition. Wow. That is a bad ending, you're a loser.
00:44:25
Speaker
Reese's Smarties Sour Patch Kids Sour Punch Straws in Almond Joy. And Luke and Val. Nerds Clusters, Snickers, Starburst, Peanut Butter M&Ms in 100 Grand. Dude, if you just had a relatively reasonable fifth round, you'd be in the hunt, but you're not. I think Luke won.
00:44:50
Speaker
I don't think so. I think I went too sour. I think he's very diverse. It's diverse, but very balanced.
00:44:56
Speaker
We don't have any 90-year-olds listening to this podcast. I know, but also he went with the basic bitch answers. He got gummy clusters. He got Snickers. Everyone knows that bullshit. We got the avant-garde off brand. Yeah, because so many basic bitches listen to this podcast. Oh, sorry. I just picked Sour Skittles as my fifth. Oh, you would have won the landslide. Oh, yeah. That absolutely would have won, but instead, you're a third on the podium.
00:45:24
Speaker
Yeah, right, dude. You're gonna eat your words. That's what you said last week, and you were last, so... Last week? Last week I said that just to piss you off. This week I said it because I mean it. Yeah, whatever. Whatever. The boy who cried wolf, my left nut.
00:45:43
Speaker
And you know what that sound means? That means it's time for the next segment brought to you by an unspecified whiskey brand. All right, here we go. Just hopping right in. This is things that Jack likes and wants to appreciate because these people don't get appreciated enough. Can I grab a beer really quick? Yeah, go for it.
00:46:11
Speaker
Okay, I'll be so fast. I'll be so fast. Maximum overdrive. It's not like we have 14 minutes left. Hey, um, oh, damn, I was going to talk to you about something, but it's literally in my list. Fuck. Can we talk about how that guy, how you guys said on the last episode that McJeez's isn't a good nickname?
00:46:37
Speaker
Talk about it. This is part of the list. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. Yeah. Here we go. Are you back? There you go. Okay. Here we go. I'll try to make slide whistle noises. Yeah. This segment is brought to you by
00:47:07
Speaker
All right, here we go. Here we go. This is the list of people that I don't think get enough recognition and deserve some recognition in life. So it's basically a shout out list, but we're going to talk about a few of them. The first person on my list is the front desk guy at the place I go bowling. I always walk out.
00:47:30
Speaker
Yeah, I'm shouting them out. I was walking in this place and I say, hey, I'm just headed to the bowling alley. He's like, all right. And then I take the elevator to the bowling alley and I get there and it's closed. And then I go right back up and on the way out, I go, see you later. And he goes, have a good day. Hilarious. That guy lives life giving no fucks. He doesn't care at all.
00:47:58
Speaker
No, that's awesome. Shut up, that man. Good pick. Great pick. You've done your best. That's fucking so funny. Number two on my list is, there's not going to be a big explanation to this. What I have written is the oiler's upper deck lady. Yep. Shout out to Sick Balcony on that lady. Fucking. Oilers.
00:48:27
Speaker
Just look at my Twitter. Hey, I'll send it to you, dude. That's fine. Congrats to the Oilers on making it to the finals. Yeah. I just sent you a tweet by Antonio Brown. Yes. And then I also just sent you the first tweet that popped up on my Twitter when I opened it. What the fuck is my Twitter? Jesus Christ. That one's gross. That second one's gross.
00:48:54
Speaker
Uh, next on my list is Chinese food and, uh, delivery people. Wow. Are there some cannons? That is, I would like to marry this woman. Yes. You and half of Alberta. Dude, if what I'm curious about is like.
00:49:19
Speaker
Why is she wearing a jersey? Who's she hiding those from? Obviously no one, but still. Oh my God. Anyway, next. Chinese food. After Chinese food, I have on my list, Buddha shots. This is specific to the place I go to get Chinese food, but they have these shots where you eat this flower, like chew it up and you put it around your mouth, and then it makes your entire mouth numb.
00:49:49
Speaker
and then you just take a shot. It's crazy. Wow, I've experienced it for the first time last night. Thought I'd throw it in there. I've had that before, but it almost made me sick. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah. Like it gets hard to breathe for a second. Yeah, and it's like you take the shot and you don't really feel it, but then it's like your mouth is like, it almost feels like you're gonna throw up.
00:50:16
Speaker
Uh, yeah, kind of, but it's fun. It's an experience. Yeah. We don't have much time. So I'm just kind of rifling through these next up. Uh, I have a soft pair of socks. Yeah.
00:50:33
Speaker
Yeah. Like a freshly washed, soft pair of socks. I agree with that. I absolutely agree. My socks are all fucking old, so they're not really soft. Yeah. You might not appreciate it quite as much unless you get a new pair of socks and they're all soft. Yeah. If I get more socks, I'll let you know. We're going to start a GoFundMe on the pod. I have no more socks. I'm just a baby. I have no money. He's just an unpaid intern. Okay, next.
00:51:03
Speaker
We have God, I hate that I put this on my list, but it like so depressing. But it's so true. And that's warm printer paper. Like fresh out of the printer. It feels like a fucking blanket. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like three more. And again, just running through these liquors, the cashier at my liquor store.
00:51:32
Speaker
stand-up guy. He recognizes me. I don't, okay. That sounded wrong. I don't go in there that much, but he's just, um, he recognized me and he says, what's up. Okay. Next. Let's go. Let's move on. We're moving on. Um, next on my list. I just wanted to shout out my own Dick. Um, and I know that might be a little bit vulgar, but sometimes it needs recognition and recently it has gotten zero recognition.
00:52:01
Speaker
So shout out. Wait, wait, ready, ready for this? Yep. My dick got the. Hmm. Something your dick got HIV. I fucked it up. You were I think you were close. I dig the first leg. Super size. Go dig like is all right.
00:52:29
Speaker
My dick played on a double feature screen. Yo, dick went straight to DVD. Wait, what's the one that my dick came from? Yo, dick. Yo, dick. Like a little kid. Oh. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Nice one. Jack's dick. Shout out, my dick. Shout out, my dick.
00:52:54
Speaker
And then finally, I have, uh, Twitter memes. That was the last one on my list. I think the Twitter community is super creative and they brighten my day pretty much every day. And I don't think a lot of people get the credit they deserve for making funny memes and I wanted to shout them out. Yeah. I agree. I was just solid list. Other than that, your tick part, I think everything else is pretty good.
00:53:18
Speaker
Well, that was just more of a personal thing. Yeah. I mean, I, I appreciated it. I appreciated it. I liked it. I mean, when I shout out mine, I'm basically shouting out Luke's. I don't know if this audience knows, but we have identical penises.
Edmonton Oilers and Connor McDavid Discussion
00:53:32
Speaker
It's like, um, identical twins, but, but instead of whole persons, it's just the penis. Yeah.
00:53:43
Speaker
It's pretty sweet. It's pretty cool. Pretty cool. How did you guys figure that out? I mean, I mean, when you're friends with somebody for 16 years. It's been more than that, dickhead. As it been said, third grade. When are you, how old are you in third grade? I think it's the eighth grade plus five. I think you're eight. Yeah. I'm okay. 17 years, 17 years. That's a lot of years.
00:54:13
Speaker
We've been friends with somebody for 17 years. Eventually you end up seeing them.
00:54:23
Speaker
And then you're like, wait a second. Did you take, did you steal my dick? Yeah. It's like, did you check yourself and you're like, Oh no, it's still there. But wait, how'd you get mine? And then it's, it's big. It's a whole ordeal. Guys, it's okay to admit that you guys like sword. You guys did like a sword fight. It's June. We're moving on. Yeah. Here we go.
00:54:48
Speaker
We have approximately three minutes. We didn't give a whole lot of time for a guest segment. I don't have one. So that's a good thing. That's that's that's wonderful. We can talk about how the Edmonton Oilers are headed to the Stanley Cup finals on the Florida Panthers starting June 8th.
00:55:11
Speaker
And they won and they advanced with only 10 shots on goal. Which was crazy. That was the, I don't think I've ever had my asshole so clinched during an Oilers game, which is shocking. That is shocking. But I mean, I knew my boy McJesus and Dry would get it done and they did. And McDavid probably had the goal of the playoffs. That was the nastiest thing. That was pretty filthy. And also,
00:55:39
Speaker
It just makes me smile knowing that Matt Duchenne got zero points in that whole series. It makes me smile knowing that Matt Duchenne has to go another year without a Stanley Cup. Yeah. He hasn't even had an appearance. Nope, never. No one's. Yep. It's also crazy. Sorry, Luke, you're not really involved in this. Just one more thing. Corey Perry has been in the Stanley Cup finals, like six out of the last, or five out of the last six years. With five different teams.
00:56:09
Speaker
Yep. He's the first to ever do it like that. He's kind of the gold digger of the NHL, if you ask me. I think you can call him that. Yeah, he's definitely a gold digger, but no, he's good. I'm happy for the fellas. How do you feel about the nickname, McJesus, for McDavid? This is good. I tried to bring this up while you were grabbing Bruce, but it fell upon deaf ears.
00:56:40
Speaker
Well, the deaf ears were more focused on an upper balcony. That's true. Good point. That was quite the front door. That's a good, that's a good front door. If that front door is in my face, I'm not hearing anything anyone has to say. I would like to open that front door. Knock, knock, knocking on.
00:57:01
Speaker
that chicks. What was your opinion on? I feel like my Jesus is not a good nickname. I love it. I think it's great because it just shows you how much better he is than everybody. He's like literally like the golden child of hockey. I think that's true. Biased opinion, obviously. But like, I love it. But also, it could be cooler. I like I don't like that nickname as his main one. I like calling him Davo. I think Davo is the best nickname he's got.
00:57:31
Speaker
Um, and then also it kind of reminds me of Connor Baddard, the new guy, you know, they call him Betsy. So Betsy and Davo and they got dry, you know, to, uh, to high class, you know, they don't have to be sick. My favorite nickname for McDavid is, uh, that one guy who scores a lot of goals for that team that has that chick who has a complete balcony.
00:58:00
Speaker
That's a good one. Yeah, it's a good one. It's new it's fresh. Yeah, maybe that's why I like that at Leah hex doll. Yes. Hey Leah next time you're out Spewing random bullshit about a hockey game. Can you call McDavid by this name?
Appreciating Twitter Memes and Episode Conclusion
00:58:20
Speaker
Exactly. I think she would, because she clearly doesn't have much of a brain, so she won't know what you're talking about. This is coming in from an inside source, apparently. Apparently. Apparently. Um. The chick has a balcony with television with pork. Can we sub out Leah with the apparently kid? Oh, gosh. I think that would increase hockey ratings over all
00:58:28
Speaker
Oh
00:58:49
Speaker
like streaming and cable platforms. Yep. Absolutely. I completely agree. Let's tweet it. That's the one minute mark everyone. Wow. This hour just flew by. It did. Apparently it did. I'm going to let you guys say your goodbyes and we'll wrap this one up here on Headed Weest. Wub, you first.
00:59:19
Speaker
I want to say thank you for having me on again as the unpaid intern and it's always a pleasure and I'm gonna drink more came in Jack's Came in Jack interesting drink of choice. Yes. I'm gonna drink some make lobes Hopefully our periods will be in sync anyway, thanks for tuning in tonight We'll catch you on the flippity-flip
00:59:47
Speaker
And this broadcast was brought to you in part by Luke's Left Testicle. Thank you guys for tuning in. This has been Jack, Luke, and Wub on another episode of Headed Whis.