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Second Cumming
18 Plays6 months ago
Breakfast meat in your mouth. Also, I'm totally risen.
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Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
00:00:27
Speaker
I refuse to play the song. Headedweest Productions presents this production of Headedweest Podcast.
Podcast Introduction and Episode Celebration
00:01:01
Speaker
And welcome to Headed Weeeeese. You forgot the DJ Cracker Beats, you know? Dude, that's your job. I don't do that. DJ Cracker Beats. It's where the Where's Cracker Cats at? Where's Cracker Cats? Oh, it was close.
00:01:21
Speaker
You were close. Wonderful. Well, it's a new dollar or it's a new day. It's a new dollar. Is that what they say? No, it's if I had a nickel for every time Jack said
00:01:40
Speaker
I'd be rich. You'd have 21 nickels because this is episode 21 and our podcast is now old enough to go to Vegas to visit a brothel and also to drink alcohol.
Guest Introduction and Expectations
00:01:58
Speaker
Purchase nicotine.
00:02:00
Speaker
Oh, yep, and purchased nicotine. Happy 21st Epi to this pod. And for the 21st Epi, we got a special guesty. A genuine 21-year-old. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, obviously he acts like it. This is Mr. Fogy. What's up, Fogel?
00:02:26
Speaker
How's it going? Uh, thanks for having me back. It's been a while. I'm proud to be here. Uh, hopefully this is the best one yet. Um, 21 isn't even old enough to rent a car. Yeah. So you can go to Vegas. You just can't drive around there unless you've got stupid to Vegas with your car. That is stupid. That's a fun fact though. What's the age?
Amusing Prediction Story from Thailand
00:02:53
Speaker
25.
00:02:55
Speaker
Oh my God, I can legally rent a car. I still can't. Oh, Luke. Yeah. I was, I was illegal. I was illegal. God. Happy belated to our co-host. We need a little happy birthday. Happy birthday.
00:03:21
Speaker
Thank you, thank you. It was a very special episode. You chose your 25th, right? Yeah. I'm officially two-thirds the way through my life. Two-thirds. Is that where you're capping it? At 37 and a half. Good man. No, I just, a few years back in Thailand, I met a woman with a really crooked nose who told me,
00:03:51
Speaker
in some dark woods, when and how I was gonna die. Did she read your palms? No, she just, she stared directly into my soul. Ah, I see. But she did make me take my pants off. Were you explaining the plot of Toy Story 2? Very similar, but that was actually based on my true life experience.
00:04:21
Speaker
Oh, okay. Sorry. I just, that's that story sounded familiar. Yeah. Yeah. They often get confused when I tell people that. Yeah. I could, I completely understand that. I mean, that's where my mind went immediately. Um, well, so my, my question though is, you know, when, and you also said how so, so how, so what, you said the lady told us when and how. Yeah. Um,
00:04:51
Speaker
So how? Well, it's going to be excruciating. I'm actually going to get kidnapped in the middle of the night and I'm going to be like chained, uh, each hand chained to one wall and, and like, I'll be, I'll be like spread out like a star.
Religious Humor and Laughter
00:05:15
Speaker
And then those chains are going to be hooked to cranks that hold them just a little bit.
00:05:21
Speaker
And yeah, I will be nude and they're going to crank those and it's slowly going to pull on all my limbs until they each just get pulled off my body. Are you like the second coming of Jesus? No, this is like BDSM Jesus. Coming. Got him.
00:05:50
Speaker
That's, that's great. Could you imagine, could you imagine taking the second coming of Jesus? God, must be a large amount. Yeah, dude. That guy's been saving shit up for like a couple of years. 2000. I thought he came. I thought he just risen.
00:06:12
Speaker
2024. He rises every year, apparently. Oh, so there isn't later that long. He probably nuts once a year. I rise every morning. That's right. Oh. I also rise every morning and every time I hear Luke's voice. I rise about 69 times a day. And one of them is in the morning. I am risen. He has risen. He has risen.
00:06:42
Speaker
Ugh. How much do you think the second coming is? Like a gallon? I don't even want to think about it. And I think that if we're going down a rabbit hole, we don't want to go down. Why? Okay. Can I- I mean, how deep is this rabbit hole? Like, can you fill it with, like, three gallons? Uh, here, let's ask Beat. Hey, Beat, if you dig a six-foot hole, how deep is it?
00:07:15
Speaker
Ah, probably 20 feet. Have you seen the video of Beetlejuice? And somebody asked him, like, how to spell yellow. It's red. And then, like, what's two plus two? And he takes, like, he takes, like, 30 seconds, and he's, like, 74. Yeah. I have seen that. That's what I was just quoting, that same video.
00:07:43
Speaker
Oh, really? He goes, Pete, what color is a carrot? And Beadle goes, uh, carrot. I think it's a carrot. Nice job, Pete. There you go. Another news. Another
Trump's Conviction and Political Irony
00:08:01
Speaker
news. Ooh, nice. Donald Trump was convicted of, we're not getting political, but he was convicted on all accounts today.
00:08:13
Speaker
Um, but that doesn't mean that he can't run for president. You can become president as a felon, but you can't vote for president as a felon, which I think is interesting. It's the American dream, baby. Oh, that's going to tie in real nice later on in my, during my segment. Oh, nice teaser. It's a little teaser. Looks good at teasing.
00:08:40
Speaker
I'm raising again. I get teased quite a lot. Do you? It's like, do you guys watch New Girl? I've seen it. It's like when someone asks Winston to break up with their partner for him because Winston just looks like a guy who got broken up with a lot.
00:09:03
Speaker
That's so sad. Yeah, it is a little sad, but also like, you know, he's doing God's work. Shout out God for giving everyone else the work, lazy ass. Yeah, I guess. Can I give a shout out here? It's your pod. Oh, sorry.
00:09:32
Speaker
Oh, oh, he raised his hand. He raised his hand. Drink. I have risen my hand. Drink, drink. Yep. Um, I was parked illegally today for three hours and the meter maid didn't give me a ticket. So shout out that meter maid in particular. Honestly, though, meter maids are like just
Illegal Parking Anecdote and Humor
00:09:57
Speaker
the worst fucking people. Terrible, terrible. But this one.
00:10:01
Speaker
Shout out. I mean, imagine your jobs is giving people tickets. It's not, it's not like good tickets. It's just parking tickets. Yeah. Every single person hates you. 100%. Your own children and family hate you. Yes. There's nobody who's like, you know what? I really appreciate the work that the meter maids do.
00:10:25
Speaker
I got a question. If, if a meter maid is parked illegally, do they have to ticket themselves? No, we should just get to assault them. Citizens arrest. Citizens assault. Yeah. Citizens assault and then arrest. I mean, if they can assault us, I feel like we could do it too.
00:10:53
Speaker
I mean, I've been assaulted by a meter mate. They've given me tickets. Yeah. It's just it's like the walk of shame. You're walking back to your car and you see something on your windshield. Oh, and you're like fucking kidding me. And it's one of two things. It's either a ticket or some stupid fucking ad. Oh, see, I got one like four or five months ago. I
00:11:20
Speaker
walked out to my car, got in, started driving, noticed something under my windshield wiper, stopped on the side of the road, thought it was a ticket, was really upset. But instead, it was a note somebody left because they ran into the back of my car. That's even worse. It's the worst. Terrible. At least they left a note. It's true. It's true. Did they fuck it up? Were they hot? They broke the tail light, so I had to deal with that.
00:11:51
Speaker
Could have been worse. Was it just like, Hey, sorry, bud. Sorry. They left their insurance. So they were a nice person. Okay. That's nice. That's nice. But you still, you know, fucking, I hate, that's like a hassle. Definitely. But they could have just been like, oops and left. So it's true. It's true. How do you hit a parked car? Was she hot? Didn't even get to see her.
00:12:21
Speaker
That's even worse. Yeah, couldn't even, couldn't even like use it as blackmail. Couldn't even get risen. Couldn't even get risen. Okay, if a super hot chick hits your car, what extent of damage is the cutoff to where you're like, eh, it's fine, or you actually like go after her? Um, I'm acting like my neck is broken so that she has to take me to the hospital and sit there with me.
00:12:51
Speaker
I don't think that's bad. I don't think that's a bad play. Honestly. Oh, okay. Well, I'm on the other side of this fogey. I have to be honest. I think if you said, Oh, my neck is broken, you'd have been an ambulance. And then, no, no, I'd be like, you need to drive me to the hospital right now, but you just got in an accident sort of for cars fucked up. Oh, good point. Oh,
00:13:19
Speaker
I'll tell her to call an Uber. And then you'll get in the Uber and she'll leave. She'll leave. No, because I'll need somebody. I'll act really scared. I'll be like when SpongeBob ripped his pants and he's like, I need, I need a tailor because I'm a tailor. Do you think he was asking for like Taylor Swift?
00:13:49
Speaker
Yeah. Or Taylor Lautner. Well, he was doing what I was doing. He was trying to get a hot girl to accompany him to the pants hospital. The pants hospital. Because he ripped his pants. What what is the hot girl the Spongebob?
00:14:14
Speaker
Whoever wants to dance with a fool who ain't getting ready to dance. Spongebob has some of the greatest music. That's a fact. Between the movie...
00:14:33
Speaker
the greatest symbol on Earth. The movie was all time. All time. To be able to take a show that's so good, make a movie out of it, those usually suck. It was honestly one of the highlights of the whole franchise was that movie. Did any of you guys play the SpongeBob games as a game? Yes. Because those slapped too. It was Battle of Bikini Bottom. Correct. That's right.
00:15:02
Speaker
I actually don't think I did. Very good. The one memory I have is like, it's like you're playing as Patrick and he just goes down like a big waterslide basically. You know what I'm talking about? Is that ringing a bell? Nevermind, forget it. Any who? No, that's true. That was really good too. It was a well crafted show.
00:15:30
Speaker
I know, it was. All time. Yeah. All time. Also just based off of an adult joke too. Oh my god, the amount of innuendos I missed when I was a kid watching that show. For real. That's the genius behind it because the parents probably got that all the time. Oh yeah. Yeah. And now when I rewatch, there's little extra like pieces of candy planted in there for me, you know? Spongebob is still good.
00:16:01
Speaker
Still, yeah, it's still the best. Yeah, it's still. That's right. I was going to say something, but I'm going to stop and I'm not going to say it. You can't do that. No, I can do whatever I want. I've told you this once and I'll tell you twice. I've done this all the time. It's so uncool though. It is uncool. I'm sorry. It's like I have a really funny joke, but like I'll tell you guys later.
00:16:29
Speaker
Yeah. Also, Luke, you missed it. Oh, shit. What did you say? I told you once and I'll tell you twice. Oh, fuck. That's right. We're gonna light this up like a dynamite, you little bitch. You drink. That's a good one. That's so good.
00:16:54
Speaker
Okay. I have, I have my segment prepared. Um, if please do, I think you should go first this time. Okay. Let me, uh, let me pull up my notes real quick. Okay. So wait, this kind of like a little, a little two parter. Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to give you.
00:17:22
Speaker
some, uh, five things. You've got a blind rank them. Okay. Ooh, I like this. And if you fail, if you, if you rank something horrible at the top or something like that, then you got a drink. But this, that's, that's objective. Yeah, it is kind of objective. Come on. There's several more obvious. Yeah. Like some of them, it's like, come on, you know? Okay.
Comedy Movie Blind Ranking Game
00:17:53
Speaker
Okay, so we need to make a joint list. Yeah, like if Luke is if like, Fogel and I guys agree on it, you guys agree on the ranking position. Okay. All right. Okay. So the first category we're going with is comedy movies. And we're thinking so it's one at a time.
00:18:19
Speaker
Yes. Okay, got it. So, the first one I'm giving you is Step Brothers. Oh, boy. This is a good one. See, I feel like he's baiting us here a little bit. To go high or low? To go high early. Okay. But I- But Step Brothers is good though. Yeah. But there's definitely, are there movies better than Step Brothers, comedically? Oh, of course, of course. Sure. But it's good.
00:18:48
Speaker
Alright, I put this guy at two. I was thinking two. Okay, we're gonna stick with two final answer. Okay, okay. You know, it's a decent position. The next one is this is the end. Okay. I would, I personally would probably throw that at three or four. I was gonna say four. Okay, we'll go four.
00:19:16
Speaker
Okay. We're going to get, uh, anchor man out of the way. I think that's a tippy toppy. I think that's numero. There could be, there could be, there could be so many. I don't think, I think that's my number one. Okay. Um, all right, fine. I'll give it to you. Let's do it. So you've got one filled, you've got two filled and four filled. Okay. Uh, 21 jump street.
00:19:44
Speaker
I'm fine with this. Yeah, that's fine. It's good, but it's five. Yeah, agreed. All right. And the last one is public. I think our list is pretty good. That's the best list. Come on. You're getting close to your computer. So it's getting really loud. All right.
00:20:10
Speaker
That is not better than 21. I've seen that movie about 10 times more than I've seen 21 Jump Street. Agreed. 21 Jump Street is like you watch it once or twice and that's about it. Paul Blart, Mall Cop is watchable repeatedly. That is blasphemy. No, no, no. It's got, it's like, it's such a good movie. That's his best work by far. I'm putting 21 over.
00:20:38
Speaker
Um, step brothers. Well, that's, that's also a wrong answer. That is, that is just horrendous. Dude. 21 jump street is a classic kidnapped and ripped apart limb by limb.
00:20:54
Speaker
If you guys are listening is head over to our Instagram page at headed underscore least comment on the post that Luke's gonna make about this episode and tell him how wrong he is about that last comment. People are gonna agree with me. I'm a man of the people. There's just no fucking way. No, I think our list is pretty good. I was only worried about like,
00:21:22
Speaker
a Borat or like a don't mess with the Zohan coming in after Anchorman and fucking up the plans. Yeah. I don't think Luke would think of movies like that though. It's fair. What the fuck does that mean? Yeah, it's just not your, I don't think that's really where your mind was. Your type of comedy. I love Borat. Next. Borat's goated. Next list. Next list. Next list. All right.
00:21:52
Speaker
blind ranking rom coms. Oh, god, I got this in the bag. Yeah, I got you. All right. We're gonna start off with 40 year old virgin. Okay, this is a good one. I know this one. Dude. It's tough. It's tough as a starter, you know? Yeah, I mean, that's gotta be. See, I could throw that at one, two or three.
00:22:23
Speaker
I think it's got number one quality. It's got so many quotable lines. It's just a classic. And it's Steve Carell, who's like the rom-com goat in a weird way. I'm just worried to put it at number one off the rip. I know. But I think that that might be where it fits. But I'm OK with two.
00:22:48
Speaker
I think one is the spot for it, but I think two. One or two? I think one is the spot, but two's fine with me. All right. I'll leave it to you, BR. It's one, you think? Yeah, let's go one. Let's start it off strong. Let's do it. Let's lock it in. All right.
00:23:07
Speaker
I don't know if you're going to be upset with that or not. Like a crazy stupid love. That's one. So that's got to be two. And when I said Steve Carell is the rom com. Yeah. That's what I was talking about. And B-movie. Oh, fuck. I didn't even think about that. One and two are locked in. God fucking damn it, Luke. Fuck you. All right. Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
00:23:37
Speaker
Okay. I know it's coming after this though. So it's, uh, focus, which one do you think is better between forgetting Sarah Marshall and friends with benefits? I don't think you do know what's coming after this. Or no strings attached. Oh, interesting. I don't think I've ever seen friends with benefits. That's me in the Kunis and Justin Timberlake. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah. You don't see full boob, but you see like good boob. Ooh.
00:24:06
Speaker
Uh, I don't know. Uh, this off, what was this about? I was thinking, I was thinking four. Yeah. I think four is, four is a good spot for it. It's kind of the safe spot too. Yeah. We'll stick with the safe four. All right. I love you, man. Five. Yeah, that's fine. Okay. And the last one is her.
00:24:35
Speaker
I haven't seen that. Oh, it's the one where the dude falls in love with Siri. AI. Yeah. That isn't even really a rom com. Yeah, dude, it's about him. It's about a love story. Yeah, but it's not really a comedy. I mean, unless you think it's funny that he's falling in love with a robot. I would say that's pretty funny.
00:25:00
Speaker
We have to. It's a horrible movie. It's a three anyways. Yeah, that could have been fun. So the list just went 40 year old virgin. Crazy stupid love. Her. Her is a big hit. We're getting Sarah Marshall and I love you, man. Her isn't even a bad movie. It's just. It's a horrible movie. It's not that bad, but it's it's it's not a rom-com at all. I don't think. I beg to differ.
00:25:29
Speaker
It's just like a not good romance movie. It shows up in the list of rom-coms when you search up rom-com. It's just not funny, though. I'm glad you did your due diligence, Luke. Congrats. Thank you. Do you have another list? OK, so no, but we're going to move here into the last part of my...
Breakfast Food Draft Competition
00:25:51
Speaker
Oh, OK. This is part two.
00:25:53
Speaker
Part two, Google it. Um, we're gonna, we're gonna draft mixed drinks. Okay. But wait, Fogo, you, you don't drink very much. Should I change the topic? Uh, I drink, I think enough to list mixed drinks. No. Okay. Well, it's, yeah, but you got to draft them like in terms of what you like. Yeah. I feel like I've had them enough times.
00:26:20
Speaker
I'm going to do, hold on. I'm searching up a random calculator. How are we getting with these drinks? Like how, how, how like obscure, um, like, like well-known. Yeah. I'll be fine. Okay. I'm on the random draft order generator. How many rounds are we doing? Five. Are we going to snake it? Yep. Okay. Um, I'm just going to put our names in.
00:26:50
Speaker
Oh, actually, I don't know if I have five rounds. Okay, well, yeah, maybe let's do something different. Okay, we're gonna do we're gonna do breakfast foods. Oh, easy money. Okay. At first, I was thinking about just cheating and giving myself first pick, but I'm actually putting you would actually putting it in now.
00:27:16
Speaker
fuck it won't let me go below eight so i'm just gonna put our names in here a bunch of times what the fuck does that mean oh no i'm just gonna put our names in and whoever's you know in the top three whatever okay so here we go uh f your first j your second l your third yeah i knew f was gonna get first you piece of shit
00:27:45
Speaker
It's, it's not even me. Sometimes just. No, it's Fogle. No, it's me. But why wouldn't you do D for Fogle? Cause I did J anything else. All right. Make your first pick F all right. All breakfast foods. I'm going, I'm going eggs.
00:28:15
Speaker
you little cook. It's a good pick. You can literally have eggs, different forms like every day. I know. Okay. Okay, Jack, what do you got? Um, I'm gonna go French toast.
00:28:35
Speaker
That's an interesting first rounder. Yeah, I would not have picked that first. Well, that's what I like. I think you fucking sure. I think you could have picked it up in like the third though. Yeah, I think that was you missed out on you there. All right, I got to right because snake. Yes. I'm gonna go with sausage and bacon.
00:29:01
Speaker
That's a good, bacon was great. That's a bacon was good. The thing is, no, but you're pairing it with sausage. So you're basically taking the breakfast meats off the board for us. Yeah. I'm, I'm hitting heavy on the breakfast meat so that you guys can. Okay. Uh, if you're up, I think you're up actually. It's snake. Jack. I'm not.
00:29:29
Speaker
He, oh, it is me. Oh my God. All right. Haters gonna hate, but I'm taking cereal. That's a good one. That's a good one. I like cereal. Oh, second round pick tough. I'm going to take the waffle. It'd be fine. I was hoping that's a staple. That's a staple. Um, and you get another photo.
00:29:59
Speaker
Oh my God. Yeah, that's true. Shit. Are we doing drinks too? Sure. You can. Yeah. Breakfast drinks. Yeah. I think that's fine. Okay. Still gonna take a food here. I think that gives me that gives me more options now. Now I'm about to fucking lay down the pipe. I'm going to go.
00:30:29
Speaker
OJ. OJ. Orange juice. Oh, you silly little Jew. Okay, Jack. Another staple. Not upset. I think you should have gotten OJ very late. Yeah, you really could have. I'm going to run with it. You guys are just haters.
00:30:48
Speaker
I'm gonna run with a drink as well. I'm not sure if we're gonna, I'm not sure if this counts or not, but I'm gonna go with the mimosa. See, I was thinking that I was thinking you guys were gonna go for it because of your alcoholic tendencies, but it's just it's just not as versatile as in America. I would get to fucking mimosa.
00:31:20
Speaker
Yeah. OJ's, OJ's way better than that. That's just so false. No, no, no, no. My team is so stacked right now. Yeah. Mimosa is a real big hitter. Yeah. I think that's a big hill. Thanks. Thanks, Luke. Appreciate it. Okay. I'm going to go with pancakes. Yep. I was waiting. Yeah. It needed to be done. I like, but that's.
00:31:32
Speaker
Yeah, once a week until you're of a certain age and then you stop going out to brunch because you're too old. I don't care.
00:31:45
Speaker
That's pretty good. It's because you were dumb and took French toast in the first. French toast is goated, dude. French toast is good, but that's a third rounder. I don't think so. Listen, I like French toast more than pancakes, but pancakes have to be picked first in this kind of draft. I don't know, man. The pancakes are first. I can't wait. I can't wait until you guys tell me. Chocolate chip pancake, lemon pancake, blueberry pancake. Can't do that shit with
00:32:13
Speaker
French toast. Come pancake. That's probably what you need today, kid. All right, Lukal's here. Second coming of pancake. Second coming. I'm really struggling to make this next pick right now. There's so many options. I'm going to go with a Bloody Mary and the cultured people will be on my side.
00:32:40
Speaker
Uh, yeah, that's probably the worst pick of the draft. That is by far the worst pick of this draft. There's Bloody Mary's. Bloody Mary's anymore. What is his 1980s? Tomato juice in the morning. Wrong with you. And in the morning, I'm making waffles. Okay. Um, it's my pick now, right? It is your pick now. Yeah. I just kind of needed to get away from that Bloody Mary pick as fast as possible. Um, I. It's a great pick.
00:33:11
Speaker
Hi. Damn it. Can I take something I don't personally like? Probably not. Well, then I'm going to take coffee. It's as simple as that. Coffee is a great one. That's a good, that's a good pick. That's an actual great pick. I fucking didn't even think of coffee. To be honest, I didn't think of coffee either. That's, that's the best drink for sure.
00:33:36
Speaker
That was value. I don't drink coffee. See, that's the problem. I didn't think about it. That value. Here we go. That was value. Okay, Fogo, you got two here. You got your last two. This is tough. This is really, this is where it gets really tough. Okay, I'm going to go toast. Ooh. I like that. I actually like that a lot. It's a big hater. Late in the fourth round, I think it's versatile.
00:34:05
Speaker
It's kind of bland, but like toast is- Toast and jam. Toast and butter, dude. This is not bland about it. All right. Cinnamon sugar toast. And then this is weird. It's tough. This is my last pick, huh?
00:34:25
Speaker
Okay, why you guys all hyping up? Sure, it's it's a terrible pick You guys are fucking insane because you get toast toast is a side item. It's not a main item and I Don't think toast could ever be a main item. But if it says bonjour people Automatically think that it's a main item Well see also this is the thing
00:34:55
Speaker
For me at least. Monday, toast with some eggs. Tuesday, toast and jam. Wednesday, butter with toast. You can't have French toast every day. It's just not, it's just not like that. Yeah. Let's go. Let's go. This is not like that. Uh, I think I'm going to go fruit for my last pick. Oh, that's a great pick. That's a good one. All right, Jack, my last pick. Yep.
00:35:25
Speaker
Um, can't believe, I kind of can't believe it fell to the fifth round. Um, and it's, it sure is a niche pick. It's, uh, called Mr. irrelevant. I'm going to go with, uh, syrup. Zero. Okay. Okay. That's, I'm not sure I love that for a full item, but agreed.
00:35:47
Speaker
It makes everything better, including eggs. It does. It does. Does that mean I can't have syrup with my pancakes that I drafted? I would say no. I just took it from you.
00:36:00
Speaker
Okay, but I can still have like chocolate chips and shit. So if you want to cover some of syrups contract, I'll let you have some. Also, though, that means you can't use eggs on your French toast because I have eggs. I don't use eggs on my French toast. Oh, what the fuck are you talking about? No, I use them in not on. It's different. What?
00:36:29
Speaker
Wait, hold on. Well, if that's the case, then I can't even have a mimosa. I just have champagne, which is arguably better than a mimosa, but not a breakfast item. Okay. No, no, no. Basically you can have these items. This is ridiculous. I don't, I don't like that rule. Well, then I'm gonna change my pick. No, no, no. You can. Oh, oh. Cause you wanted to keep syrup from me. Right.
00:36:58
Speaker
Okay. Change your pick. Cause that was stupid then. All right. Syrup, you're getting sent, you're getting sent back to the, to the miners. The G league. Syrup's a pedophile. He got really excited about that. All right. Make your pick. My last pick in the 2024 breakfast food draft.
00:37:26
Speaker
goes to none other than... I thought I was going to think of something by the time I finished that. Fuck, dude. I can't even think. Oh, dude, come on. You got it. There's so many options. I know. Okay, I'm going to take yogurt.
00:37:56
Speaker
Are you guys ready for the biggest, biggest value pick of all time? There's one I'm worried you're about to take. I think I think you know what I'm about to take. I'm taking fucking hash browns, bitch. Oh, potatoes completely missed the radar. Fuck. Yep, potatoes is what I was thinking. Great pick. And that almost completely makes up for your Bloody Mary pick, but not quite.
00:38:22
Speaker
No, if you had said potato it would have been it would have been I don't know I don't really think you have the best team. I think You also could have said breakfast burrito. I was worried about that. Oh, no, because that has exit shit Yeah, we did but you know, you can have those things because otherwise all of our lists would be fucked Well next time our drafts got
Refining Draft Rules Discussion
00:38:43
Speaker
to be a little different because now we'll make some rules here next time But for now
00:38:50
Speaker
I was thinking about drafting a McMuffin, but that doesn't make sense because that's three vital components. But it's a different thing, though. You know what I'm saying? I think OJ is a vital component of a mimosa, of course, but like different enough things that you can draft them separately, in my opinion.
00:39:12
Speaker
Okay. Either way, we need to make, we need to make some rules next time, but I mean, I'm going to post this on our story later and we're going to have the people decide who had the best draft. Oh, we. Yep. Listen, it was, it was obviously me. Uh, we'll see. Anyway. Um, do you want to do the ad read for, for your segment? Yeah. Um,
00:39:42
Speaker
That segment called draft. Draft. Draft class. Draft shopping cart guys. It was brought to you by Gatorade. New slogan. Actually, it's not. What can you put in your kit?
00:40:05
Speaker
Actually, it's not. Oh, yeah. I have yet to really find out what you can put in your kid, but I think that they're going for a good cause there, and I respect it.
Edgy Parenting Joke and Podcast Humor
00:40:20
Speaker
You can put fentanyl in your kid if they're sick. I hear that really boosts, gives a nice boost to the immune system. They get all sleepy.
00:40:35
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's yep. Yep. Um, anyway, terrible draft by you guys. Uh, I fucking owned that. Uh, whose segment is it? Uh, this is mine for mine. No. Yep. Yep. I think it is. All right. Well, do you mind if I just, if we have to do an ad for this one too. So let's just squeeze them together. Go for it.
00:41:03
Speaker
This segment, presented by Fogle, is brought to you by Grindr. What can you put in yourself? All right, Fogle, take it away. I think we know the answer to that. Well. Do we? I think so. Scooby Dooby, do we? Yes, large hand is the answer. All right. Ooh. Like, will Lewis large? Larger. Dude.
00:41:33
Speaker
Dude, no, you can't get, you can't be that large. I don't really think you can. If I, if I did, if you did get that large, I just put my hands up in the air right now and I'd say props to you. Listen, I'm thinking. All right. What I wanted to talk about was, was, uh, actually athlete nicknames.
Discussion on Athlete Nicknames
00:41:55
Speaker
Been seeing this on social media recently and, um, kind of agree athletic nicknames have become very garbage recently.
00:42:03
Speaker
past couple of years. I agree. We had some great nicknames back in the day, and they're just not like that anymore. Did you have any specific ones you wanted to point out? Also, really quick- Oh, I mean, I could rattle off a lot. Luke, drink, you missed another one. Shit. Go ahead, Fobel, list a few that you're upset with. That I'm currently upset with or that I previously enjoyed.
00:42:31
Speaker
Both. Let's do, let's do a one in one. All right. Well, okay. The, the one that I always think back to as being just an iconic nickname is the round mound of rebound. Because not only is it. Yeah. For Chuck. See, I didn't even know that. Charles Barkley, the round mound of rebound. Chuck, Chuck. Yeah. The best. That's a good one. Yeah. I mean, first of all, you're calling them fat. So it's, it's funny. It's a good dish, but also very like.
00:43:01
Speaker
True. Cause he's one of the greatest, you know, it's a, it's a great nickname. And then nowadays you have not to slander your guys. He's a great player, but, but, but Jokic is nickname fucking sucks. Dude. It's a great nickname. It's not, it's not. It's just because his last name is Jokic. So you're taking a kind of play on his last name, which isn't even good, but he's also not a joker. He's not like.
00:43:26
Speaker
A big personality. He's a jokey guy. I don't think it's a good nickname for him. I think you could have come up with much better for him. I think you're just salty. You're hating on yoke. No, no, I'm not hating. I think he's great. He's great, but it's his nickname. I just don't think it's all that good. It's not just him though. I think a lot of nicknames now kind of suck. Are there any that you like? There are a few that I like, but, um, honestly, not so much in main sport. Like I like it in like.
00:43:57
Speaker
Boxing has some good nicknames. They're supposed to have nicknames though. But a lot of, a lot of like basketball players, football players, not the nicknames aren't like they used to be. I don't, I don't know about baseball much, but. Well, how do you feel about Jokic's other nickname? What? The goat. Oh yeah, no.
00:44:21
Speaker
Oh, or perhaps the Lakers father. No. But also you had names back in the day, like the big diesel for Shaq or Robert tractor trailer. I mean, fucking go to Clyde, the guy, Clyde, the glide Drexler. Clyde, the glide. That's not very good. I think that's pretty good.
00:44:48
Speaker
I like the vapor actor. That's pretty fucking fire. Gary Payton, the glove. I think that's pretty good. The Unabomber. The Unabomber. A lot of nicknames now are literally just initials. Carl Anthony towns. Cat. Yeah. Ant. Ant. That's literally just the first three letters of his fucking name.
00:45:17
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, that's not even the nickname though. His nickname would be like Air Jordan or the black cat or black jesus. That was pretty nice. Yeah. Again, an older one though. Shout out Drake. Shout out great. Okay. He's got a black mamba. Oh, that's true. I think you know, he's got a black mamba.
00:45:48
Speaker
I mean, do you guys, do you guys have any iconic sports nicknames that you guys are? Yeah. At the top of my head, I'd say probably the Joker. Okay. Just, this is not a good one. I mean, like they call Connor McDavid, McJesus. And I think that's pretty, I can't say the word, can't say the word. I'll get canceled. Um, but I think it's dumb.
00:46:18
Speaker
You don't like that one? Nick Jesus? No, I don't like that one. Yeah, that sounds good. It doesn't sound right. It's McDavid. They call him McJesus. Yeah, but also it's not great. Think about how cool it would be for people to refer to you as McJesus, you know? They also call him McNasty. I would prefer they call him McLovin. That'd be way better. That would be really good.
00:46:47
Speaker
My favorite all-time nickname. It's very niche. It was an abs player too. He was just a big ass defenseman. It was pretty fast. And they called him the Condor, Eric Johnson. Cause he's like, Condor was like the biggest bird. And you know, he just flies out there. So I thought that was unique. Unique at New York. New York.
00:47:16
Speaker
doing some boys boy mugs peacock you gotta let me fly i i don't know enough about old nicknames to have a say in this i feel like that's fair do you have any current ones that you dislike i mean yeah like like jb for jaylen brown pretty stupid yeah i think all of those are dumb fucking mellow for car mellow sucks
00:47:46
Speaker
What about Hoodie Yellow? It's just like his name, though. But he was wearing a hoodie. Oh, you know what I forgot about? AK47 is a classic nickname. That's a good one. V8 for Jared Vanderbilt's pretty good. Yeah. I mean, Jamal is the Blue Arrow. That's at least creative. I love that. No, Blue Arrow is definitely better than Joker.
00:48:15
Speaker
Yeah. What about Big Shot Billups? I like it. That's pretty good. Chris Anderson, Birdman, baby. That's iconic. Classic, iconic. What about Kenneth Fareed, The Manimal? Another good one. That was great. The Manimal, too. We have none of those like that in The Current. What about Alex Caruso, the goat? Caroo goat? Caroo goat. Caroo goat.
00:48:44
Speaker
That is, yeah. Yeah. I miss the manimal era. And then you got guys who don't even have nicknames now. I feel like most don't. Yeah. I'm thinking of all the stars. Does Luca even have a name? No, Luca is the first one to come to my mind. I don't think he does. Luca magic, which is fucking shitty. That's stupid.
00:49:08
Speaker
Um, Michael possession ends here, Porter Jr. I kind of like that one. That's a good one. I like that one. Or you got fucking King James ass. Yeah, boo. Yeah, King James is stupid. More like, more like King Crybaby bitch. Got him. Got him. Fucking. I like the brow. I think the brow was pretty good. Oh, yeah, that's good. Or the beard even isn't bad.
00:49:39
Speaker
What about the bush? Is that the Zohas? That's what they call me. No, that's what they call our gatler Clark. The hair force ones. Oh my God. Yikes. That was a joke, people. That was joking here.
00:50:07
Speaker
We have fun. We do have fun here. That's the seal of 10 minute mark. PG-13, horrible nickname. Anyway, that segment was brought to you by Grindr. Fogel's favorite app. Nice. Indeed. Got him. Big lift. Yes, get shit on. I hear he likes to do that with the Grindr people.
00:50:36
Speaker
Okay, next up. We're going to speed run through Jack's segment. We've got 10 minutes left. Now nine. We should usually speed run through Jack's segment. Yeah, we should. Good one. Yeah.
Shoutouts to Underappreciated Figures
00:50:49
Speaker
Go talk to them then. All right. I'm going to do my little segment. We still don't have a name for it, but this is just a big list of people who don't get appreciated as much as they should. And I'm just going to call attention to them and thank them for whatever service they provide.
00:51:06
Speaker
Um, so I'm gonna start, I'm gonna start off, uh, really quick here with, uh, Susie who does only pans. Um, she is quite the chef in the kitchen and I really enjoy her videos. I hear she, um, has risen you. Mm-hmm. Yep. Good. G. Yeah. That's happened.
00:51:33
Speaker
And actually leads me straight into the next thing. My left hand. Nice. Doesn't get enough. Sometimes it does the work and it just doesn't get the credit. Wait, are you telling me that you're, you're, you're getting lefty involved in the party? That's a warmup. Yeah. You warm up with lefty. Say you're just searching.
00:52:01
Speaker
and you're using your right hand to search. And next, shout out people who don't try to talk to you on the elevator. The guys don't even know you. Why are you asking me on my day? We're going to be on the elevator for three seconds. Honestly, the people who do know you talking to you on the elevator even.
00:52:26
Speaker
Yeah, no, you're completely right. The elevator should always siempre via quiet space. The last time I was with Cole in an elevator, he started straddling me and then the elevator stopped and a random dude walked in and saw it and it was a very awkward elevator ride. That is terrible.
00:52:56
Speaker
That is one of the worst stories I've heard all week. Yeah, I would have probably jumped out of a window. I wanted to just rip my limbs off right there. Just peel my skin from my face all the way down off my body. That's enough of that. Okay. Next, I wanted to shout out capitalism just because
00:53:26
Speaker
of America and the American dream. That's what I did in my segment there, capitalism. Shout out you and shout out keeping everyone going and working hard. Yeah, good one. That's just respect. Also tied along with this shout out, we haven't done as well the troops
00:53:50
Speaker
We love the troops. It's Memorial Day. So shout out troops. Good shout out. We've been slacking on the troops. Keeping us safe at home. And then I have here the Oakland A's announcer.
00:54:13
Speaker
I don't know if you've been paying attention, but she is pretty terrible, but it is really funny. Today, the Oakland A's announcer, or yesterday, last night, the Oakland A's announcer, they're up 4-3 in the ninth inning, and this guy comes up to bat.
00:54:37
Speaker
And his name is, his last name is Siri and she tried to make a good joke and she was like, Hey Siri, guess it's not your night. And then, um, she says that in the next pitch, the guy hits a solo home run to tie it up. Uh, it's, and she's had a solid handful of terrible calls this season, but I laugh every time. Shout out her.
00:55:01
Speaker
There are a lot of, uh, announcer jinxes like that. That's very common. Yep. It is common. Um, but you know, she doesn't get credit. She just gets hate and it brings me pleasure. Oh, they always get hate because most of the time it's like ending the streak or, I dunno, you're just jinxing something bad. Yeah. And it's this one guy's fault that he said something so stupid. Okay. Um, I also want to shout out Dr. Feelgood. Um,
00:55:32
Speaker
because he deals with a lot of annoying people and he gets impatient and just says, here, have your prescription. So shout out him. And then finally, I wanna shout out. Wait, big shout out. I wanna just add on to that wonderful guy. Very nice man. We love him. And final shout out, the lady at Chick-fil-A near my work
00:56:02
Speaker
just recognizes me sometimes and says hello. That's nice of her. Yeah, it's like, it's like if you go to Jared, like you have a friend in the diamond business, but I just go to this Chick-fil-A and I have a friend in the Chick-fil-A business. In the chicken biz. Yeah. Do you ever get a little self-conscious though, that like they know you, you're like, do I come here that often?
00:56:28
Speaker
I mean, no, not really. She's just always there when I'm there. And she, she, she recognized me after like the third time I was there. So she's just good business. Sure, buddy. Maybe you have risen her. Don't, I don't want to be mean here, but she looks like she might have a family of 12. Oh, so I don't think she likes me.
00:56:54
Speaker
But she's a very, very nice lady and she, she, she always says hello to me. When you say family of 12, does that mean old person? No, I don't think so. I was just checking. Just yeah, just, I was just checking. Just looks like she might have 12 children. Okay. I wonder why.
00:57:21
Speaker
Any who yeah, we should probably move on from that. You got another thing. Thankful person. Oh, I actually, oh, I do, but I'm thankful for Thanksgiving. Nice. I'm thankful for, I don't even like Thanksgiving. Oh yeah.
00:57:47
Speaker
Happy birthday to you. I'm not, I'm not saying the rest of that, but please don't. I would be wildly uncomfortable. I don't like the way you smell like a monkey.
00:58:16
Speaker
I hate you. You look like one, two. Oh my goodness. Roof, roof, roof. Wait, did you say you had another person to shout out? Oh yeah, I did. Fucking do it. You got sidetracked.
00:58:42
Speaker
Yeah, so I did get sidetracked there. Um, we actually only have a minute left, so let's just wrap it up. I'll save it for next week. Oh no. We have to save you guys. We only have a minute left. All right.
Podcast Conclusion and Farewell
00:58:56
Speaker
Well, we have to let the guests go first. Well, thank you guys for having me. I, it was a pleasure. I enjoyed it as usual. Um, yeah. Hope you guys enjoyed it too. Yep. Thanks for being back.
00:59:13
Speaker
Yeah, of course. Oh, is it my turn, Jack? Yeah, that's right. I didn't know if, you know, I just, sorry. Um, well, uh, that will wrap it up for this pod. Uh, you didn't catch me raising my hand. Please drink, Jack. Go fuck yourself. Um, and, uh, we'll catch you next week on the flippity flip. Nice. Good one.
00:59:43
Speaker
Hey, everyone. Thank you for tuning in to Headed Weest. We really appreciate all of our listeners. Please stop by our page and give any support that you can. Drink again, bitch. Say no, you gotta let go. I'll see you next week on the Flippity Flippity.