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Women Scare Me
14 Plays7 months ago
Hamsters... (how do you spell hampsters) Hamsters aren't rats, you're just racist.
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:00:05
Speaker
Sounds like a blender. Hey, and welcome to Headed Wiest.
00:00:36
Speaker
Welcome. Welcome. It's a pleasure. It's always a pleasure to record for our dedicated and passionate audience. You could hear our esteemed guest just slap his drink down right there. Did you guys hear that? We did. We did.
00:01:05
Speaker
Um, Jack, do you want to introduce our guests this week? Yeah. Uh, well, I don't know. I think maybe you would like to introduce our guests. Um, cause I dunno, it just feels, it feels right for, for you to do it. Um, and I think, I think that, uh, I think you're better at it, honestly.
00:01:30
Speaker
Thank you. Even though you gave me shit for doxxing Teller, but whatever. That's fine. That's in the past. Well, you doxxed him. Anyway, anyway, we have two very special guests on this week. They are related, some would say, by blood.
Celebrating Milestones and Age Discussions
00:01:48
Speaker
And you've, you've heard them before on this very special podcast. Um, so we love them. Please welcome Victoria.
00:02:03
Speaker
Thank you for the warm welcome. Hello, waste infections. Yes. Sadly, we were not prepared with our waste infection drinks this week, but that those will come next week. Yeah, the next week. I didn't have time. I'll take blame for that one. Yeah.
00:02:29
Speaker
But I'm happy that we have two guests here. No one else. No one else. This is our biggest episode yet. Wow. Yeah. In terms of episode number and in terms of quantity of people talking. And how many star power? Literally, the lost star power. Yep. This is exciting episode number 20, actually.
00:02:57
Speaker
Oh, I believe we're not. So we've had a bit of a milestone here. And it's not quite old enough to drink, but it's old enough to do other things. Like what? What do you think? It could drive if it passed its driver's license test. It could smoke a cigarette.
00:03:25
Speaker
Ooh, not yet, actually. Not yet. Oh, oh, oh, shit, you're right. No, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no. I thought it was flavored nicotine. No, it's all nicotine. No, it's all, it's everything. Really? Yeah, Karen's fucked us. Uh, it doesn't matter. We're all old enough now. That's so wild. Well, our podcast isn't old enough, but yeah. It's wild that we missed like, like when we grew
Youthful Memories and Anecdotes
00:03:53
Speaker
up,
00:03:54
Speaker
It was 18 for us, but then it got changed, but it didn't affect us. I was talking to Eric about this yesterday and we grew up really well in terms of our age because right after we turned 21, the FDA started cracking down hard on fake IDs. And then also right after we turned 21 is when nicotine was 21 and up. So we kind of slayed that, just saying. What did they do about fake IDs?
00:04:20
Speaker
Oh, it was just like, because we would go, I mean, in high school, we would use it everywhere. Like, we didn't give a fuck, right? And like, now it's like, you have to be very, very sneaky about it. The FDA is like, rewarding restaurants and stuff for like, not taking fake IDs. So it's just like, a lot harder to get away with one. Also, because we looked 12. I don't know how that ever worked. But
00:04:42
Speaker
Yeah, I mean. Well, yeah, you went into the one Asian run place by... Old Town. Old Town. Shout out, Old Town. Shout out. I mean, those guys gave no fucks. They just let you live your life with arms wide open. It was great. You walked in there without a care in the world. That's right. And frosted leaf. Yes. Yes, off Colorado.
00:05:09
Speaker
Dude, I went in there when I was 16 with my fake ID that had a shadow over my face, and they didn't care. Same. I went in at 15. That was me and Loni's first pen that we bought. Oh, my God, the memes. The memes. Yeah, I got fucked by the whole thing, because I was a junior in high school when I changed it from 18 to 21, and I was about to turn 18. Oh, wow. I know. I got fucked.
00:05:39
Speaker
That's for sure. You join the 21 Club now, Webb. That's true. Welcome. Age doesn't work that way. Yeah. You turned 21 in January, right? Yeah. Yeah. Because it was like right after New Year's. Big sad. Yeah. That's OK. Yeah. But now you're really able to just do it all and just like release your inhibitions. You can do whatever you want. Yeah. I feel the red on my skin. And like no one else can really feel it for me. Chug it. Fucking chug it.
00:06:13
Speaker
Um, how does it feel? Do you feel mature? Um, I feel very mature in like the line at the liquor store within everywhere else. True. Once you hit 21, like you get to go to bars and stuff, but everywhere outside of that.
00:06:38
Speaker
Like you're pretty much the youngest person everywhere all the time.
Quirky Childhood Stories
00:06:41
Speaker
Yeah, it's the exact same feeling as being like 18. I'm not gonna lie, turning 21 kind of took away the je ne sais quoi of getting hammered in a basement. Agree. I would say that was more of like 23. I heavily disagree.
00:07:05
Speaker
I mean, I still love it. But it's like back in high school, you know, it was just something about the risk really made you made it got me going. Damn. That's true. Yeah. You know, simpler times. simpler times. That's right. That makes me move your basement, Luke.
00:07:30
Speaker
Uh, your basement as well. Yeah. All of our basements. It makes me miss both of your basements, actually. My old basement and your parents' current basement. Yeah, I miss both of those basements as well. I'm in my parents' basement right now. No way. Yeah, I'm dog sitting for them this weekend because they're going to visit Webby in Montana. Oh my god. I know. Woof.
00:08:01
Speaker
What? It's a dog sitting. Whoop. Wait, wait, whoop. Are you not coming home for the sound? No, I don't think so. What? I know. I'm moving into a new place and then I was going to get a job up here. You fucking gentlemen, you esteemed
Conspiracy Theories and Skepticism
00:08:21
Speaker
gentlemen. I can come back. I will, I will be, I can drive. It's only like a light, you know, 10 hours.
00:08:28
Speaker
That's not too bad. That's not too bad. Yeah, my Kia Soul, I put that thing in sport mode and I'm there in like six. Shaves off four full hours in the sport mode, Kia. Dude, you don't know that thing purrs. You don't know how it would have been fucking purrs, dude. Dude, have you seen the Connecticut Kia boys?
00:08:50
Speaker
Yeah, they sent every Kia owner like a wheel lock. And so I have one in my Kia Soul, but also, I don't think anybody in Bozeman is like, oh, that Kia Soul with the plastic black rims, I want that thing. So I think I'm fine. Three for a couple mice just bump into...
00:09:08
Speaker
Dubstep in there. They're fucking hamsters. Yeah. Oh shit. No, damn. They're fucking hamsters, dude. That's racist. That was super racist. That's so fucking racist. I'm on time out. That's my bad. Yeah. That's fucking insane, dude. Keep a change. You look good. It's 2024. We're not in New York, dude. Fuck. Yeah. God. I used to have two hamsters, but they got murdered when I was young. Oh.
00:09:38
Speaker
It was unintentional,
Casual Weather Chat and Listener Engagement
00:09:39
Speaker
America. We've heard her nonetheless. You want to know a crazy youngster story?
00:09:44
Speaker
Yeah. My friend Lauren, when she was in fourth grade, she made friends with this other girl and the girl was like, she want to come over and have a play date and see my hamster? And Lauren was like, hell yeah, I do. And so she went over and the girl was like, OK, follow me. I'll show you my hamster. And she took Lauren out into their garage and into their garage freezer. Her hamster had died and she was keeping it in the freezer. And she pulled out a bag with a dead frozen hamster and showed it to Lauren.
00:10:12
Speaker
Oh, how young? Grade four, so like what, eight? So that chick is definitely a murderer or something now. I mean, that's kind of fucking sick. It's really sad that it died and she didn't want to like get rid of it, you know? Why would you want to show that to your friends? Well, maybe she was like, maybe she's gonna like buy a snake later. And she's like, I'll have food. I can like, I don't have to like buy a week's worth of food. I could just have my frozen hamster.
00:10:41
Speaker
I don't know that the hamster to snake pipeline is a very real thing. They eat rats, you have to buy rats for them. No, I'm not saying they don't eat that. Are you saying rats and hamsters are basically the same thing? It's a type of rodentia. Oh, so it's not- Make them discriminate, Jack. That's the key point here. Yeah.
00:11:03
Speaker
Unlike you, apparently. We're talking about food. You were talking about living hamsters that can drive. And you called down that. They can vote. They can vote in this country. Say whatever you want. Say whatever you want. The pen's in my hand. Fuck you. All right. Fuckin' drink, dude.
00:11:22
Speaker
Why does he have to drink? What's this? If I catch him quoting Avril Lavigne, then he has to drink. Are you kidding? You're in timeout. You're in timeout. Fuck you. That's not Avril Lavigne. Wait, wait, wait. Is that just Avril Lavigne? Yeah, you're in timeout. Bye bye. Okay. Avril Lavigne? I got confused. I apologize. You can't speak while you're in timeout, idiot.
00:11:50
Speaker
How do you get those people confused? Okay, also, have you guys heard the conspiracy theory that Avril Lavigne was replaced? Yes, she died. That she died and now there's a different woman who just looks like her? Yes. Who's her? I can get on that. Yeah, I kind of believe it, but I love some conspiracy theories. Oh, could you? I would. Could you get on that? If someone let me, I would. Yeah, I probably would too.
Creative Brainstorming and Games
00:12:17
Speaker
Guys, it's snow here.
00:12:19
Speaker
It did? How much? I have three inches. It looks miserable. That's a lot of inches. That is so many inches. Oh my God. Are you okay? No, I can't leave my house. Yeah, that is crazy. That is like... It's ridiculous. That's so many inches. Yeah, I can get back from Nevada in like the 100 degree heat to that. Yeah, no snowing. Damn, that's crazy. Yeah.
00:12:46
Speaker
That is crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can come out now and just don't make that mistake again. Cause that kind of made me really. Yeah. Never fucking try that shit again. I'm sorry. It'll be okay. I apologize. And I genuinely mean it. Yeah. You should never grown up. Am I right? Um, good one. Thank you.
00:13:13
Speaker
That was Avril Lavigne. That song came out when we were in middle school. Which one was that? That was who Avril Lavigne's were singing at the same time. Literally. When we try our best.
00:13:36
Speaker
I, yeah, that's true. That's true. That's why we got you on the pod here. You know, we only select the best talent. That's right. I love hearing that. Yep. Also on a completely different note, if anyone wants to be a guest on the pod, feel free to send a DM to our Instagram account at headed underscore least for an application.
00:14:04
Speaker
And we will send you an application and maybe you'll get selected. Who knows? Was that, um, is that supposed to kind of say something there? No, not at all. I was just letting people know that if any fans wanted to hop on for a few minutes, they were more than welcome. Oh, like a calling sort of thing. Yeah, sure.
00:14:27
Speaker
We should have guest Collins. That would be so funny. That would be awesome. You guys could do a segment where it's like you give advice. Ooh. The doctors are in. Literally. Oh, my God. It could be called Western medicine. Oh, that's good. That's really good.
00:14:53
Speaker
That's really good. Dude, the listeners ears just got absolutely fucked. Look at the lines. That's my bet. Mine's like a solid bar. Yeah. It was worth it. That's a pretty good, good medicine. Holy. Oh geez. We should have our own column.
00:15:18
Speaker
in the paper, in the tags. We're not at times, we're not at times podcast, we're a post podcast. What did Vicki and Wab just say there? You guys are more like a sun podcast. You know, the sun, the gossip mag.
00:15:39
Speaker
I would think right now. And that's that's why that's why we have females on this podcast. We learn a lot from every time. I would think I don't talk to females very often. So this is an experience. They're scary. There are. And they have cooties. Yeah. Yeah. COVID.
00:16:07
Speaker
Yeah. And other things. There are things. Scary things. Victoria's not denying it. Yeah, she hasn't tried to defend herself whatsoever. Man, it's been a long week. I don't feel the need to defend women. Especially when you're outnumbered. It's just, it's tough to do that. It's good that you're learning, you know?
00:16:33
Speaker
Guys, actually, I have a question here. And Victoria, you can definitely chime in here, but I think I already know your answer here. Sure. Unless you're hiding something from us. Like a penis? Yes, yes, exactly.
00:16:53
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. I got you ever been sitting on the toilet and let's say like you were, you were dropping some soup or something, you know, while you're sitting there, you're also, you know, being because you have to pee as well, but you're, you're, um, how do you already know the answer to this question? Yeah. That's it.
00:17:23
Speaker
No, no, no, wait, okay, so you're peeing, but your dick is at a length that is so precarious at the moment that it is pointed right through the crack of where the toilet seat and the bowl is. So you pee, and all your pee just goes straight out the toilet. That happens to be approximately 30 minutes ago.
00:17:56
Speaker
Am I the only one? Is that just a meeting? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
00:18:17
Speaker
Did it do something? Yeah, I heard it. Okay, good. No, Luke, that's never happened to me before. Oh, that's happened to me before. Thank you. Because usually, you know, usually you got to like push the top of it down a little bit.
00:18:34
Speaker
Like about the tip or like the base, you gotta push it down a little bit so it hits the rim or like the toilet, you know, so it dangles for it. Maybe. Yeah. And then sometimes you like kind of, you're kind of like pushing poo. And so you're like, you don't really, you kind of forget about it. And then, and then you, and then you just kind of like squirt it out. And it goes like,
00:18:52
Speaker
It like threads the needle of like the actual lid. Oh yeah dude. And then the toilet itself. And it's very jarring. Just puddle at your feet and you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, and then you get pissed on your like shorts. Yeah, that's absolutely never happened to me. And I'm not going to really try and live your experience because you know, no one else can live it for you. But drink it. Fucking drink.
00:19:17
Speaker
You can't, you're not gonna get a single one of these, Jack. At the beginning of the episode, at
Appreciation for Services and Individuals
00:19:24
Speaker
the beginning of the episode, I had two that no one picked up on. Fuck, really? Yeah, I did. I did. I'm gonna have to go back. On my counter, on my counter, I've gotten away with two of them. Yeah, so fuck you. You keep quoting one song, though. You gotta quote like a different song. That's the point. That's the point. Yeah, that's the whole point.
00:19:44
Speaker
That's the best song ever. Random songs. If I'm quoting random songs, it's going to be pretty hard to pick up on what I'm doing. This is funny. I think of it as like, you know, like in the other guys that move with Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. He keeps quoting TLC. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I think it's like, but you got to do multiple songs. Captain, you quoting TLC? No. What are you talking about? I have no idea what you're talking about.
00:20:25
Speaker
The first time I took mushrooms with my friend Danny we We watched the other guys and Mark Wahlberg's face got like really small on his entire head And so he had like a way bigger forehead and we could not stop laughing at it. I
00:20:44
Speaker
What the fuck? Maki-mak. And the funky bunch. 30 Mike and the Boys left you a note. 30 Mike and the Boys? Oh my god. If that's not the homies, you know? That's right. I think is it time for our first segment? I think it's time.
00:21:14
Speaker
Okay, who's gonna do it? Not me. Okay, I'll go first. All right. This podcast is brought to you by Natasha Battlefield. Feel the rain on your skin. All right, so from my- Wait, does that count? Yeah, drink. No, don't, drink. Fuck. Can you try to hide it? Yeah, you can't hide it. It's gonna get away with it.
00:21:43
Speaker
Um, okay. Um, hold on. Okay. I'm doing the same, uh, segment that I did last time where I made a list of people who I feel like should be appreciated, but don't get recognition. It's a good segment. Yeah. Um, so I'm going to start off here with door dashers.
00:22:13
Speaker
who very quickly leave your doorstep and run away and they know that you don't want to see them. That's a great one. Wow. It's starting off really hot. Can I add to that? Sure, sure. Go for it. Door dashers who deliver your food in a timely manner when it's raining outside. Ooh, nice. Those are the ones that get tips. Yep.
00:22:37
Speaker
Yep. I agree. I think, um, I think, yeah, leaving quickly is a big one. I hate when they just like sit in their car, like in my driveway or something for a little bit, because like, don't pull out. Yeah. Like don't watch me come out of my cave right now. I look to sit somewhere else.
00:22:55
Speaker
Don't you think they're just trying to find another order to help people? I don't care. They can pull out and drive down the street a block. This is private property. Thanks for the food, bitch. Now leave. That's what I feel about that. My next one is lime scooters that are conveniently placed.
00:23:25
Speaker
Never really won. No, I hate everybody who ever rides those anywhere all the time. I tried to ride in Nashville and I got on for half a block, cried and had to walk the rest of the way. Oh, why did you cry? I thought it was so scary.
00:23:51
Speaker
Victoria can't do anything that involves moving her body in an athletic manner. Fair. That's not my vibe. My brain's my strongest muscle. You know what? That's okay.
00:24:09
Speaker
All right, continue your list, Jack. This one's kind of specific because it happened twice this week to me and it really pissed me off both times. But I have a general version and then I have a super specific version. The general version is people who don't drive the wrong way on one way roads. Did you encounter somebody coming at you on a one way?
00:24:33
Speaker
No, the more specific version is in my office building. There are three gates, like arms. So you go in and your car gets scanned and then the arm will lift up. Oh, yeah. But two of them have a big X next to them. That's a don't go. And then on the other side, it's green. And it has like a check mark. It's a go. Two times this week, I've seen someone sitting outside an X'd gate.
00:25:02
Speaker
trying to scan their badge to go in. That's embarrassing. It made me irrationally angry. And so I wanted to shout out everyone who doesn't do that, which is literally 99% of the world. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. I agree with that. I like that one. It's a good one to get the masses on your side, all the listeners, all the weasters out there. The next is Italian food. Shout out any Italian food. Peter. Do you guys like Olive Garden?
00:25:31
Speaker
It's like Italians. I like Italians. I like Italians. They're good people. Is Olive Garden considered Italian or is that more? I think it's like... It's American Italian. It's an Italian. Yeah. Yeah. It's like going to Panda Express. I mean Chinese. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd say that's a good equivalent. Could you imagine taking your whole family to like a...
00:25:55
Speaker
Panda Express for dinner. If like unlimited rice. Rice and hot and sour soup. Walkers
Playful Racism and Dating Humor
00:26:09
Speaker
are like, can I get the miso soup please? And they're like, dude.
00:26:11
Speaker
Get some crab raccoons and kill yourself. What are you talking about? There's always... Yeah. Okay, I'm not even gonna go and do it anymore. No, do it. Do it. Do it. No, I was gonna get playfully racist, but I'm not doing it. Dang it. Playfully. It was playfully. You know, it's a joke. Playfully racist is the best way to be racist. That's true. Playfully.
00:26:38
Speaker
And my last shout out goes to, oh fuck. Oh no, my list went away. Hold on, because I have to, it's a specific person. Ibrahim Raisi. Moisus? Oh. What? He's the Iranian president who died in a helicopter crash. Nice. Yep. I don't know what's the last one. Oh no, I don't really either, but I knew he was a bad man.
00:27:07
Speaker
And a report just came out that his helicopter missed the One World Trade Center by 5,811 miles. That's good. That took me way too long. That's funny.
00:27:25
Speaker
That was good. That was very good. Thank you. And that'll do it for, what do I call this? What's the segment? Underappreciated things. What are they called? Like the Beatitudes or something? Things I don't hate. That'll do it for things I don't hate. That's what I like about you. Oh, wait. Yeah. Who sings that?
00:27:50
Speaker
You really know how to dance. I don't know. The first person in time who sings that gets, uh... Wait, what song? I can't... And go up, down. Oh my god, it's fucking The Boys Who Cry, dude. It's The Boys Who Cry.
00:28:11
Speaker
also no you're thinking uh victoria you're thinking of fairly odd parents and it's uh luke that is not the song yeah no i just i i don't know how my mind went into that song
00:28:36
Speaker
I morphed from what I was singing into that, but the original thing I sang was not that song. No, that's not that song. But I confused them very much so. You're like, it's the boys who cry. Oh my God, that's hilarious. I'm going to have a beer. Give me 20 seconds.
00:29:04
Speaker
Okay, guys. When he comes back, let's just list a bunch of things that we like about him. Okay. We got to think a little bit. Just be silent when he comes back. So are we saying it now? When he comes back? When he comes back. It's like slip it into the conversation. Right, so then we can be like, he has nice hair. No, you want to be like, that's what I really like about you, man.
00:29:33
Speaker
Oh, that's good. So we pretend like we said we didn't. No. Yeah. No, you're not following at all. Am I not? Oh, I thought it was like the masters watch the masters of play. I thought it was like when he gets back, then we just go, you know,
Vegas Stories and Casino Comparisons
00:29:48
Speaker
that's what I was really like about. So what do we say? No, shh, shh. Act natural. Don't about you, Pearl. Sixteen.
00:30:03
Speaker
That sounds so good. I can't believe they never took off. I have, I just thought of another great segment, but I'm gonna save it for later. What is it? Can you say what it is? Can you give us a hint? Um, no, I can't. Well, welcome back, Luke. I love how quizzical you are. Quizzible? Yes. It's a big word. What does that mean? Yeah.
00:30:31
Speaker
It doesn't matter. It just has to do with your big brain. Guys, Boys Through Cry's song is on Spotify. Of course it is. Hell yeah. Are you going to add it? Ah, the fuck? That's a good song. OK. What's the next segment? Luke, do you have one prepared or am I going to have to do the one that I just came up with?
00:31:02
Speaker
You know what? You know what pisses me off? We prepare. I prepare. You don't prepare. Fuck you. Here's the thing. You don't care about this pod? I do. I do. And I intended to prepare, take some time while I was at work today to prepare. And I was too busy at work and I just didn't get around to it. And I do feel bad. I feel bad.
00:31:30
Speaker
Listen, I had a segment that I really, you know, I loved doing and then I tried it out and it fumbled. And I kind of, I'm at a loss now for what I should be my new segment. Was it the one where we did the scene? Yeah, it was the improv. Yeah, buddy. That's not a good segment. I fumbled that one though. I was just breathing.
00:31:57
Speaker
The whole time. You were breathing and Jack was commenting on some woman's large breasts. Yeah. Who was it? I don't know. Wasn't that Anna Kendrick's boobs? Oh, yeah. We've had a pod about her. I thought we referenced the previous episodes. Oh, maybe, maybe. I think it was Anna Kendrick's yada's. Could have been Anna's. She's got some good ones. Yeah, she's hot.
00:32:27
Speaker
She is, I would, I like her. I would. What if that's the segment we just name ladies who are hot? That's a bad segment. That's a good one, but now we have a female guest. No, I think the segment should be just the female guest saying women that are hot and we agree or disagree.
00:32:52
Speaker
I was going to say the inverse. I was thinking we say women that are hot and then she can judge them because that's what women do to each other. All right. That's a bit misogynistic, don't you think? Yeah, but she's my sister, so I can say it. Oh my God, Victoria, give us the sag. It's a quick one, but I want you both to guess how much money Wubby
Reflective Segment and Episode Wrap-up
00:33:16
Speaker
and I lost in Vegas. Oh boy.
00:33:28
Speaker
Yeah, but we have to take up with now. Luke and I, we take turns guessing and whoever gets the final answer right wins. So the first loser has to chug their beer. Yeah. Do you want me to go first or second?
00:33:46
Speaker
Uh, it doesn't matter. Go first. I don't want to go first. Tori, you need to text me how much you lost because I don't know how much you lost. I know how much I lost. And also, uh, text or someone, I don't know how to do this. I want a fair way. Like flip a coin, Luke. Do you want heads or tails? Well, if we have the number, then it's just heads. Are you fucking for real, dude? What?
00:34:11
Speaker
Oh, dude, that's gonna skew my guess big time. What? Sorry, that's jarring. That's how much I lost. What the fuck happened to you? Wait, wait a second. Jesus fucking Christ. Sorry. Yeah, go ahead. Guess.
00:34:27
Speaker
Okay. Sorry, before we start this, should I combine me and Will's numbers? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, gotcha. And then we'll tell you the split of what the fuck it is. Yeah. That'll be a follow up guess is the percentage split of loss. And all you do is hot and cold. Yeah. I'm gonna go with $2,500.
00:34:56
Speaker
Cold. Cold. I'm going to go 6,300. Cold. Cold. Oh, shit. Damn. Do I lower it or do I upper it? That's the disadvantage of going first. I don't think Victoria would be willing to put more than 6,300 out. I'm going to say $1,200. Warmer. Oh.
00:35:25
Speaker
Oh, warmer, okay. What was your first guess, Luke? That, no. Oh, shit, I need to be paying attention to this. I'm gonna go 970. $853. Colder. I'm gonna go $1,200.
00:35:54
Speaker
Colder. Colder. Why are we? I think Victoria's fucking ears up. I'll answer it yet. Okay. No, I'm not helping you at all. Victoria fucked you up a little bit though. Fuck, dude. Try to think about my answers, not Victoria's. Well, you didn't tell me. It's okay. It's okay.
00:36:22
Speaker
Uh, $1,040. Uh, colder, $600 cold, $780 warmer. $1,400 cold.
00:36:53
Speaker
Dude, Jack and I are just shooting buckshot right now. No, we're zoning in. We're getting there. All right. $800. Warmer. $950. Warmer. Oh, shit. God, I'm like, I'm like, ugh. $880.
00:37:23
Speaker
Woof. It's getting pretty hot in here. Oh shit! 890! 895! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding! 890.
00:37:32
Speaker
I win. Wow. So we lost around 890. So what percentage of that loss do you think was mine and what percentage do you think was Wubbies? And we'll just do like a one guess each, not a hotter, colder. Yeah. OK. I'm going to say Wub lost 200 and Victoria lost 690. OK. I'm going to say Victoria lost 700 flat.
00:38:02
Speaker
And then whatever's left, web lost. So you're doing a $10 difference from what I guessed? Yeah, price is right, bitch. I mean, Friedman's closer. Yes. Oh my god, you piece of shit, dude. Well, he lost 4% of the total loss. He lost $40. I lost $40. Victoria lost $850. This person sucks at gambling. I'm pretty sure.
00:38:33
Speaker
my first guess was like 12k so it's not that i don't know what's not that bad but also it's like dude what you lose the most money on here yeah pressing buttons on machine just pressing random buttons on machines
00:38:49
Speaker
That is, I guess I give her that though. If you go into the casino, you kind of just want to press buttons. Literally. Okay, so here's my thing with that though. The last time I was in Vegas in August, I sat down at a random slot machine. We had 20 minutes before we had to leave for a dinner reservation and I put in 20 bucks and I won 550.
00:39:10
Speaker
Holy shit. So I thought that's how they all worked. No, that's how they get you. Not at all. That's how they suck you in. Damn it, they've done it. Yeah, they got you good. They got me. Oh my god. Hey, when we went to the, do you remember when we went to the Nino and we all lost? And they were jackasses to us at the Blackjack table. They were mean to you guys at Blackjack?
00:39:38
Speaker
I was down so heavy and then I worked my way all the way back and we were leaving. No, no, I was down super heavy. And then I went to a blackjack table and I was like, fuck it. I'm just going to go all in because I'd lost like five hands in a row. And I went all in and I lost the sixth hand in a row. I thought that was going to be a story of triumph.
00:40:07
Speaker
No, it really wasn't. On the way out, I think I hit a good little hit at the slot machine, but that was it. Also, on that drive, we were in the top-down page, and it was fucking pouring rain.
00:40:25
Speaker
What is the use of the drive? It was crazy. Oh, it was so cold. It was so cold. And we walked into the Nino just wet, dude. Drenched. Drenched. And Victoria was holding a veggie wrap and she just dropped it in front of the door guy. Oh.
00:40:49
Speaker
a wet veggie wrap. It was a wet veggie, dude. That's disrespectful as hell. Dropping a wet veggie wrap on the foot of a bouncer into a casino. That was my first time in an American casino. I didn't know how to act.
00:41:02
Speaker
Do they have Canadian Nino's? What? Are you retarded? Yes, they have Canadian Nino's. They can gamble anywhere you want. Dude, there's at Rogers, at Rogers, where like the Oilers play. So like the same thing as like Pepsi Center. They have a casino attached to it. So you'll go to the hockey game and go to the casino after. You're kidding me. That is fun. What? That's the best one of you guys ever visited me.
00:41:28
Speaker
There's a massive casino at the end of the mall in West Edmonton Mall. There's a mass casino in there. Yeah. Well, we got all these shit. You know, it's what they're doing. Yeah. And it's 18 plus there. Yeah. First time I was in Canada. Our pod could go gamble. Yeah. I could gamble anywhere now. No, the pod. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:41:56
Speaker
I thought you meant like us on the pod. I mean, we could also go, should we do a live pod in a Nino? Oh my God. I don't think they'd let us do that, but that would be kind of- That'd be fucking awesome. If we get big enough, they'll let us do it. That's true. If we're like, uh. Yeah. Yeah. If we're like, if we're like what?
00:42:26
Speaker
This podcast is brought to you by Gatorade. What can you put in your kid? Why beautiful? That's their slogan. What can you put in your kid? Yeah, have you not heard of the new kid? I thought it was like like Mike. What can you put in your kid? No, that's a movie. That's not like Mike is not. It's not just a movie.
00:42:56
Speaker
was a whole Michael Jordan. Wow. Gatorade just did a massive Gatorade just did a massive deal with the Catholic Church. Oh god dude. Oh no. Strictly educational.
00:43:16
Speaker
Yeah, it's all it's it's just to promote Catholicism and diddling children, but it was scientific to figure out what you could put in your kid. Right. They're like, right. Oh, they show a bottle of like of red Gatorade. They're like, yes, you can put that in your kid. And then it's like just like an eggplant emoji. And then they're like, yes. And they're like, no, no, no, no, no. See, you can't put that in your kid. Mm hmm. It was like, I don't know.
00:43:40
Speaker
I don't know if you're talking real eggplant here or if you're talking innuendo. I'm talking the innuendo from the iPhone. I didn't want to say penis. This is a non-political podcast web. That's true. You can say penis whenever I want. Yeah. Penis. Yes, but the words that you can't say are, and also I'd stay away from saying, and
00:44:11
Speaker
Uh, I don't know. It's not super terrible, but a lot of Asia doesn't like it if you say, but we're going to have our editor just wipe all of that out after the production. So just stay away from those words specifically. And then also, and then I think you're fine if you just stay away from those. Yeah. All weasters, I like you guys know all the weasters. He did say all those words, but we blanked them out for you.
00:44:39
Speaker
You could say like shit and fuck and stuff, but just like don't go like, you are driving like a, and yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Right. I'm there. Yeah. Um, I have another segment prepared if, if you want, or we can just keep going. I'm ready. I can segment.
00:45:02
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Go ahead, please. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't have a segment. I mean, like I could do a segment. Oh, you could do a segment. Yeah, sorry. That was my fault. That's why I don't have a segment. I am as well in said boat. And Titanic. Oh, got him. What about the ocean? Oh, Jesus. Thank you.
00:45:35
Speaker
That's why I'm here. Thank you. You're still making very loud noise. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, everybody. I was just clapping. That was a great burp. I can see that. There were a lot of claps in there. Yeah, you could see all the claps. I had to commend what? You could see every one of the claps. When it gets too loud. I don't like it. It looks like fish bones. Yeah. When it gets too loud, I can't even hear you. Yeah. I heard all of that. Oh my god, she's back.
00:46:04
Speaker
Oh, sorry. I've been back for like a minute and a half. Oh, did you hear my burp? I did. Sick. Sick. And to go get another hard Mountain Dew. Ooh. They're gross. How do you like them? They're awful. I mean, okay. That's a lie. They taste good, but it's like every sip you just think about the worst hangover you've ever had and you're like half a can of this could get me there.
00:46:31
Speaker
They taste like real Mountain Dew, but you kind of want to kill yourself as you drink it. They do the dew, but in the worst way fucking possible. They don't. They do the best they can. Yeah.
00:46:58
Speaker
Okay, take it away, Jack. You guys remember when we got hard in Moab? What? Oh, hell yeah. Rephrase that. We got so hard in Moab. I got hard in the river. You did get hard in the river. I got hard in the river. I got hard in the tent. I got hard in the dirt. We got hard probably everywhere. I think everywhere we went, I think we were hard. Yeah, I think we were hard in public.
00:47:28
Speaker
We were definitely hard in public, multiple times. Like severely hard. Dude, I was hard driving the ATKs or whatever. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Super hard. What a great time. And then Victoria threw up on the drive home because she was banging too hard. Oh, I was banging. Yeah. And then the fucking- Oh, I remember that time. That's crazy. You were told you to stop banging. Arizona.
00:47:58
Speaker
We told you. Hard in Arizona. You were banging hard. Yeah. You were banging hard and Alvin and the chipmunks was playing. So it was like a recipe for disaster. Yup. Alvin and the fuck me, dude. I love Alvin and the chippies. They're so good. The chippies are so fucking good. I was a little bit of a detour, but you know, sorry.
00:48:27
Speaker
Oh no, detours are more than welcome on this podcast. That's good. You could call us headed east if you want. And then we'll head right back west in a second. Yeah. And then we'll go east. Yeah. Yeah. And then we'll get to our destination. Uh, exactly. Um, is it time for my pod? It is time. Not my pod.
00:48:55
Speaker
Segment time. It's time for my seg. And since it's my second seg, it's time for my sex. I am a segosaurus. Ooh, nice. Nice. Sick reference, dude. Everyone knows you have the most insane references. Thank you. Thank you. I'm the best. Yeah, that's right. On this segment, I was going to go through a couple opening lines I've sent on Hinge.
00:49:23
Speaker
Oh, no. And then I was going to go through some responses that we that we as a as a pod could respond. Oh, lovely. I'm gonna start with three that I've sent. And then I'm gonna and then we'll move over and we'll just reply to some people. The first one
00:49:48
Speaker
on her profile and said, I love tacos. And I said, I see you really are crazy for tacos, but how do you feel about Cocoa Puffs? Wow. I don't know. I don't know where that came from. Where'd the Cocoa Puffs come from? Yeah. She said, I go crazy for tacos. Go for Cocoa Puffs, Wubby. Thank you. I see. I go crazy. Go cuckoo.
00:50:16
Speaker
But yeah, yeah, you need to, you need to make that mind muscle connection to cuckoo and crazy. I don't think it's that hard to make. I mean, brains as large as yours. Doesn't understand. That's not a woman you want to be with. Right. I have to explain everything to her. Good point. Good point. You're the worst kind of women. I hate those women. Um, and then,
00:50:45
Speaker
Someone replied to a prompt that I had. Oh no, sorry. I replied to their prompt and it said, the one thing I'd love to know about you is your MBTI. And I said, what the fuck does that even mean? MBTI. That's what I said too. Massive big time. Infection. Intellect. Infection.
00:51:12
Speaker
Massive big time intellect. I love that. MBTI is the new thing. Yeah, and I said, what the fuck does that even mean? Did you figure out what it means? She said, she said, she said, it's a personality theory developed by two women. Ah, let it go. Get out of here, fuck it. She's the exact opposite. She's too brainy to where she's boring.
00:51:41
Speaker
I did not reply. Yeah. And then finally I have on my, oh, this is a good one. On my profile, I have two truths and a lie. Uh, and the three are I've never eaten sushi. I auditioned for the bachelorette and I have a dog named Ryder. That's a hard one. I know the answers. I don't think I do. Yeah. Let's see if we can guess. So I have to guess what the lie is. What was the first one?
00:52:12
Speaker
I've never eaten sushi. That's a lie, dude. You've eaten sushi. I've never seen him eat sushi and I've known him for quite some years. Maybe he doesn't in his free time. I could see him getting on The Bachelor. I could totally see you applying The Bachelorette on just like a random Tuesday. I need some answers here beyond The Bachelorette. I think the lie is the first one. You have eaten sushi. Victoria?
00:52:42
Speaker
Wait, was it I've never eaten sushi? Oh, I fucked this up. Wait, reread your prompts again, because now I'm... Here's number one. Number one is I've never eaten sushi. Number two is I auditioned for The Bachelorette. And number three is I have a dog named Ryder. Wait, okay, so I was fucking wrong. Now, I do know it, but...
00:53:09
Speaker
I don't believe the sushi one anymore because I do believe that you've never eaten sushi. Okay, so which one is it? You gotta pick the lie. I know. I misunderstood. Take a guess. What are you going with, Lubby? Are you still going with sushi? Okay, he's eating fucking sushi before.
00:53:32
Speaker
Victoria out of three out of three props neither of them got it oh my gosh wait no the lie is you have tried sushi before I thought no I haven't what you've told me many times you've tried sushi before because you said you just don't like it but you've tried it
00:53:59
Speaker
No, that's not true at all. I never auditioned for The Bachelorette. Well, that's what I thought at first. That's what it was. I could totally see. I could totally see, like, you and Luke getting drunk randomly, and then you signing up for The Bachelorette. Well, I totally would do that. Exactly. Luke, maybe that's what we do on our next episode. Oh, yeah. No, you know what you guys should audition for is The Circle. Romy and I have wanted to get on that show since it started.
00:54:28
Speaker
But let's just get the four of us on that circle. Yes. You can go in a group. It would be so fun. Do you guys know what the circle? I've seen bits of it. It's on. I've seen like one app, but I'm so in. Let's do it. Oh, I wouldn't do that so bad. I think we could finesse the shit out of that. I'm missing a chromosome. I'm so down for that. Tweet. Tweet that. Tweet that. I thought she had really sweet. Put it on the line. Do it.
00:55:01
Speaker
That's great. How are you doing it? Thank you. That's great. Okay. We have a few minutes left. Let's just go through some, maybe if we find an interesting prompt. Wait, I thought you had replies that you were going to go through. Well, we went through the, no, now we're going, now we're going to reply as a group to a few people. Oh, okay. Okay. I'm not going to be able to help whatsoever.
00:55:28
Speaker
I have no game. I have zero game. It doesn't matter. We're trying to be comedic here. Okay. I'm looking for a question. We're swiping. We're swiping. I'm just looking for questions. I'm looking for pictures. This woman said what she orders for the table is tequila shots and fried pickles or cheese balls.
00:55:54
Speaker
What would we reply to that? Say, are you trying to get heartburn? Are you trying to get heartburn or what? If you say that to her, she's going to think you're calling her fat. Or say. This is a pod thing. It's not a jack thing. It's different.
00:56:20
Speaker
I like, I like saying, uh, my, my balls have cheese. Okay. This is what we're replying because it's a collective. It's a collective pod. It says, are you trying to get heartburn or my balls have cheese? Send like done.
00:56:41
Speaker
next oh wow you're gonna get bad oh you said both yeah I said both together and been like if you don't get heartburn you should check out my balls they got cheese like
00:56:56
Speaker
Yeah. Well, we need to collaborate here. We only have three minutes too. So, uh, one thing I'd love to know about you is what three tabs are open on your phone right now. I'll start. I'm starting with the hub and then.
00:57:19
Speaker
And then Chatterbait. Oh, F. I think throw like a random one in there, like, yeah, Pornhub, Chatterbait, and then like Wikipedia. I have to wait. No, something something like like Teletubbies.com, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Tell it. Or Webkinz. Webkinz. I was thinking Webkinz. I was thinking Webkinz is good. That's kind of creepy, but we like it. OK, so the response is. Oh, yeah.
00:57:47
Speaker
OF and Webkin's. No. It's intent. It's intent. We need one more. Green flags I look for. Nice smile and sense of humor. I'm going to say I look for... Oh shit. Badass and a trust fund. Not bad. Not bad. We can do better.
00:58:15
Speaker
Okay, sorry. I'm gonna look for Zambia and then give me two green flags. Zambia is a country with a very green flag. Oh, nice.
00:58:31
Speaker
What if you say like Brazil? Cause I feel like that's more well-known. Yeah. Good idea. We need 20 seconds. I look for Zambia and Ebola. Sorry, Brazil and Ebola. No, I need another real green flag to look for. Brazil, fat ass, fat chest. Fat ass and Brazil. I look for Brazil, good chest.
00:59:02
Speaker
and blank and uh and uh breast implants no no i mean we already said something about the chest oh screwdrivers screwdrivers done done done it's been sent okay we have to do our sign off uh let's start let's start bottoming the top why don't we go first what do i have to do say goodbye oh uh i don't understand why the cutoff is always on a hard hour but it's great how being on the pod again and i like being on the pod with victoria
00:59:32
Speaker
Victoria. I agree. Great being on the pod again, as always. Love to come on anytime. It was super fun to be on with my brother. I think we add a little star power, a little glitter into this. So thank you to all the waste infections out there. Luca. Thank you guys for tuning in. I eat nails for breakfast. Goodbye. He eats nails while I eat the screws, and I sure would like to screw you. Bye.