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The Midterm Erection
52 Plays2 years ago
we're back. barely left. get over yourselves.
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Transcript
Opening Banter and Quirky Sponsorship
00:00:10
Speaker
And welcome to Headed Weeeest. Hey, guess what time it is, Lucas? Uh, it's Friday time. That is true, it is Friday time, but you're wrong. What other time is it? Um...
00:00:34
Speaker
It's 6.01 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. That's also correct, but wrong. Try again. It's time to crack open a cold one. Oh, fire me up. That makes me a little horny. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, I'm half chub. This podcast is brought to you by a cold one. Crack it open.
Lucas's Comedic Absence Tale
00:01:04
Speaker
Anyway, wow, we had a long break and where were you? I felt like Liam Neeson trying to track you down. Where the fuck were you? I had a minor stroke that kind of like unwinded into a coma for approximately 15 days.
00:01:35
Speaker
Don't worry, they, while I was in a coma, they, my mom,
00:01:41
Speaker
chewed up the Thanksgiving turkey and then like baby birded it into my coma mouth. Was it a, I feel like people in, well, I don't know this, you'd know better than me. You're just in one. But I always thought people in comas had like feeding tubes and they'd like push it through the tube and it'd go into your stomach. Like, are you talking about like where you put like a burger
00:02:10
Speaker
in a syringe. And then you like pump the burger through the needle into the tube. Yeah. And I think the tube is actually just like a very fancy bendy straw. Yeah. And you just stab the bendy straw into your lower abdomen. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly what a coma is like. Yeah. All right. And then your mom like chewed it up and kind of like
00:02:39
Speaker
pushed it through the bendy straw. No, no, no, no. I didn't have that. Oh, oh, sorry. She just spat it directly into my mouth. Did it taste good?
00:02:52
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, this is a good Thanksgiving dinner, you know. The parents chef'd up this year, so... Wait, you're... Okay, hold on. This story's getting a little fishy. You're telling me that she cooked it and it was good? I know, it's shocking. Okay, Jen didn't make the turkey. Oh, okay. Jen made the potatoes. Put the potatoes, let me tell ya.
00:03:14
Speaker
Those were some top tier potatoes. Yeah. I mean, by the time they got to you, they were mashed, I guess. But, uh, yeah, they were twice mashed. That's why double. Yeah. You got double mash. Um, what else? So Thanksgiving. Yeah, that was a big one. Uh, excuse me.
Brittney Griner and Midterms Humor
00:03:36
Speaker
We missed, uh, oh, wait, wait. Oh, we missed the midterm erection.
00:03:46
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Did you get hard for it? Oh, yeah, dude, you have to. Isn't that like the law? Yeah. Otherwise, it's punishable by 16 years in a Russian internment camp. Shout out, Brittany G. She couldn't get hard on the last midterm erection. It's kind of surprising. Oh, yeah. Sorry, moment of silence.
00:04:13
Speaker
Really brief, though. Yeah, like super. Did we already have it? Yeah, we had that. OK, yeah, OK, sweet. Yeah. That's kind of sad, but also she's stupid. Like who goes into Russia with any sort of drugs whatsoever? That's the thing, you know, we got to get that guy. So it's like that guy who went to North Korea and stole something and then they put him in a death camp and died.
00:04:42
Speaker
Not a death camp, it was a work camp, but it's basically a death camp because everyone dies there. Who in their right mind is going to go mess with Kimi J? Just like who, your balls are too big at that point, you know? There's a point where it's too much and that's it. Yeah, I saw Kimi J just matched on Tinder with Kanye though. So that's kind of, that's news. Are they, are they gay? I think they're dating now. No way.
00:05:12
Speaker
Yeah. That checks out, you know, they like they're on the same brain, like wavelength, wave, spectrum, brain. No, the spectrum is for artists, isn't it? Yeah, I'm firmly on it.
00:05:28
Speaker
Yeah. If there was a spectrum to be on, that's the one for me. That's where I'm most at home. It's just you walk in and it not only does it feel like home, but it smells like home too. And that's really what a lot of places miss. Like they try to be like, Oh, this is your, this could be your second home, but it doesn't smell like home. Yeah. Yeah. My home smells like diarrhea and Mountain Dew.
00:05:59
Speaker
Interesting. What did you smell like? Mine smells like dog poop, dog food, and chewed up chapstick from a dog. Did Ryder chew up your chapstick and then poop and then eat some dog food? I think he had dog food first and then kind of went for the chapstick for dessert and then shit everywhere.
00:06:27
Speaker
Fucking greed I know Kind of annoying Inconvenient, sorry, I'll say I don't think we can say annoying anymore. I think that's getting cancelled. Are you serious? I Don't know But I'm gonna get cancelled then well wait a lot I Think if I were in Brittany Griner's position, I probably would be okay. I
00:06:59
Speaker
Like you'd be like chill or you'd be like good at the slave labor. I think I'd be smart enough to like kind of work my way up in the old slave labor hierarchy. So I just kind of delegate, you know? And I'm like, Hey, you, I got to do this today. Go do this for me. And they're like, you're such a piece of shit. And they're like, yes, you know, you're right.
00:07:28
Speaker
I know you're right and I hate you for it. Yeah. If I were a female that was that big, I think I could definitely make some moves.
00:07:39
Speaker
She is huge. She's like. Yeah. Everyone's worried about her. Like it's like, like she's fucking Zoe Deschanel. No, she's going to be fine. She's not five. Ten. I don't know, but she's not five for a hundred pounds. Like this is it's okay, guys. No, it's not okay, but it's okay. Do you think that she could like just like beat up the guards around her?
00:08:09
Speaker
Hmm, I would say if the guards didn't have like guns, but they definitely do Yeah, they definitely got guns, but I feel like she's also an athlete, you know, maybe she's quick She can help quick with gun maybe but correct me if I'm wrong. I feel like if you have a gun That's probably better than not having one and just using fists Yeah
00:08:36
Speaker
You're probably right. I think Brittany Griner is actually my sleep paralysis demon. Dude, that's terrifying because that's like a that's a big figure to just be like demoning after you.
00:08:51
Speaker
Yeah, I one time had like sleep paralysis and I was facing downwards like I was sleeping straight down my face was in the pillow. So I woke up and I literally thought I was dead for like, I don't know, like 30 seconds.
00:09:08
Speaker
Oh, I've had that because you just like can't breathe because your mouth is covered by the pillow. Well, you can't see anything. And like my eyes opened and it was completely black. And like I couldn't move anything because like, you know, sleep paralysis. Yeah. Yeah. And so I was like stuck face down into the pillow. Couldn't see anything pitch black. I opened my eyes still pitch black and I can't move my body. I thought that was it. And you know what? I was kind of okay with it. It wasn't that scary.
00:09:39
Speaker
I was like, you know what? It's a bad time. Would you be ready to die today? Do I get to say goodbye to people? You have one day to say goodbye to people. If they're busy, I don't get to say bye.
00:10:09
Speaker
Yeah, but you can tell them, like, listen, time's ticking. This is it. It's now or never. Goodbye, question mark. Yeah, I'd probably text my mom and she'd be like, hi, honey, busy. Talk later. And I'd be like, well, I can't. And she'd think I was being sarcastic and then that'd be it.
00:10:31
Speaker
I think a lot of people might think that you're sarcastic. Yeah, because I'm a, I'm a sarcastic person. So I think that would be an unfortunate situation for me. Yeah. And then then they text you and you'd never respond. Was he true?
00:10:51
Speaker
Yeah. And then they'd all feel bad about it for the rest of their lives. They'd be like, are you like, why didn't I just fucking call them? Yeah, exactly. And then you can haunt them. Yeah. All three of my friends. Three and a half, right? Oh yeah. You're right. I forgot about Lil Gimpy. Uh, shit. I can't say that can I? No, this is a non-political podcast. It's okay.
00:11:17
Speaker
Oh, okay. Well, I'll probably edit it out just in case. We got a new editor. You got to tell George. Oh, yeah. No, it's not George, you fucking idiot. We have to introduce you to our new editor who's finally been replaced. We had to wait for the market to crash so we can get some real talent for cheap.
00:11:43
Speaker
Two bucks an hour is hard to beat. Everyone, please give a warm welcome to the new audio engineer, Jeff. Jeff, how are you? Oh, shit, it was Jeff. My bad. See, the beautiful thing about Jeff is he doesn't fucking talk like our old guy used to. Yeah, he's a fucking nerve. What was his name? Bob? Bill? It was a B. It was definitely a B.
00:12:13
Speaker
I don't really remember. That's how literally that guy means to me. Fuck. Yeah. Piece of shit. Yeah. Did we miss anything else? Any other holidays? Thanksgiving. No, no, I don't think so. Was it like Chinese New Year, maybe? When's Vegetarians Day? You don't get a day.
00:12:43
Speaker
What, the vets? No, the veggies. Oh, the veggies? Yeah. I feel like that's kind of ableist, is it not? No, because they're able to eat meat. They just don't. Oh, I thought you were talking about the vegetables.
00:13:07
Speaker
Yeah, but now that's that's a Speaking of vegetables. I have a pretty good joke lined up for you If you want to hear it, if not, just say shut the fuck up Jack. I hate you Um, I get if you eat onions and beans At the same diarrhea No, it's a little more clever than that
00:13:41
Speaker
I don't know. Tear gas. Pretty good, huh? That is good. You got more that you want to do? I don't think so. I think that's the only joke I have. Oh, I actually have a good one.
00:14:08
Speaker
So I got my roof redone, the roof on my house, I got my roof redone last week. And I was outside and the guys like standing up top and go, hey, how much does the roof cost? And the guy looks at me like, what the fuck are you talking about? And he goes, dude, it's on the house.
00:14:34
Speaker
Oh my God, is someone dying near you? Dude, somebody's always dying near me. Oh yeah. I keep forgetting that you're just like dead 24 seven or someone's dying. The threat of death around me at all times is it could not go any higher than where it's at. Wow. That's pretty high. So what do you do all the way? What do you do to stay safe?
00:15:05
Speaker
Um, you stay strapped at all times. So you're strapped. I'm strapped. I'm, I'm triple strapped. Do you have three straps on you? Well, I got two sidearms and a G string. So there's three, you know? Yeah.
00:15:31
Speaker
The G string is a good one to have. It actually prevents a lot of more than you would know or even imagine. That's why I always wear one myself.
00:15:46
Speaker
So you know how drinking and driving is a huge thing in social media nowadays? Yeah. Which I find hilarious. So good. Give this man his keys. Give this man a set of car keys and let him drive. But I was thinking about it. I'm like, it's illegal to drink and drive, and it's illegal to text and drive. But if I'm just sending a Snapchat to the homies, is that OK?
00:16:18
Speaker
Um, yeah, because was technically a box arm. Yeah, but they're long ones. That's okay. Is that more protection or is that less? That's more. Okay. Well, then I'm double protected. And you're like, yep. Yeah. Oh my God. What?
00:16:46
Speaker
So Kanye West, right? He's kind of like, trying to be, I think, Adolf 2.0. And I, I don't know how to feel about that. I think that's probably a bad thing. Dude, what was he wearing the other day? Did you see that? Dude, he's fucking Kanye, so mentally ill, fucked out of his mind. And the sad thing is, is like a lot of his, I'm sure a lot of his fans are like,
00:17:15
Speaker
Yeah, I'm on board. Now.
Kanye West Controversy Discussion
00:17:21
Speaker
Probably. But did you see what he was wearing? Yeah, he was covering his entire fucking face. It was like he was in a gimp suit. It was weird. I think it honestly may be for the time being for deniability. He could say that wasn't me.
00:17:40
Speaker
Oh, you see my face? That's smart, innocent, no proving guilty. Yeah. But here's the thing. I think I'm gonna have to stop listening to Kanye West. You think so?
00:18:02
Speaker
Yeah, I do. I just, I don't know. Because like, he does hate Jews. He has said positive things about middle mustache man. And I am Jewish. So those are three things that I think would add up to me just not supporting him at all whatsoever.
00:18:30
Speaker
Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. So I'm going to go out publicly and say I am anti Kanye West. It's really, you know, kind of sad. Do you know what else is sad? You're so big. What? Depression. Fucking retweet. Tweet that.
00:18:52
Speaker
All right, I'll do it. I'm doing it right now. Okay. Remember when Kanye wanted to run for president? You think he's still doing that? I think I thought he like, I thought he said he was gonna run again this time around. He did but I don't that's what I'm asking like, is he still gonna do it? Oh, maybe, maybe this is like,
00:19:21
Speaker
Is like he's thinking that he's going to have a bigger following now. Yeah, maybe. Here's the thing. If he, cause we've seen anything can happen. Like if, if the silent majority can come out and boost Trump through, um, anything can happen. So I might be packing up my bags in a few years, probably move. Will you move to Italy with me? I'd go to Italy.
00:19:49
Speaker
Yeah. A hundred percent. Let's do it. But not like in a gay way. Like we're not, you know, but like, let's just move to Italy. Yeah. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, but that's just not me. Yeah. It's just, you know, that somebody else can be like that, but I'm okay. Where in Italy would you want to go? Let's go to, um,
00:20:16
Speaker
You know, Venice is flooding. So like we can't go there. That's going to be underwater and like, that's going to be underwater probably before we get there. Yeah. So that's off limits. Um, let's go to like Milan. Cause why not? I thought you said we were going to go, but not in a gay way. Uh, yeah, but here's the thing.
00:20:42
Speaker
Milan has like all the clubs and stuff, don't they? Could I persuade you if I said that one Bocles Bontagaza lives in Milan? Actually? Yeah. When did that happen? Like two years ago, fashion school or some shit. I don't know. It's kind of tight. Um, I think that persuades me to go to Milan.
00:21:09
Speaker
Oh, yeah, that would kind of deter me. She's kind of a stuck up bitch. And like, I don't like running into people I know from high school. So if we're there, and like, she's there, I just like, I don't want to have to deal with that all the time, you know? That's fair. That's fair. You know, okay, we can go to let's go to that little island at the bottom of the hill. Oh, are you talking about hot dog Island?
00:21:39
Speaker
Hot Dog Island. No, Hot Dog Island is off the coast of... Oh, you're talking about Sicily. Sicily. Yeah. I like that. The only issue is that I think that's where Pompeii is and it's like still an active volcano. Yeah, but what are the odds that we would get Pompeii a second time in history? You know those guys that are going like,
00:22:08
Speaker
TikTok, and they're like, on December 7th, 2023, dadanana is gonna happen and Obama's gonna poop himself.
00:22:18
Speaker
No, I have never seen these people. These people on TikTok, they're like claiming they're like time travelers or some shit. And they predict shit like six months in advance. And then the six months comes around and everyone's already moved on from it and they don't care anymore. So no one like fact checks these people like did this actually happen? Also, if you were a time traveler, like I'd be if I were a time I'd be so rich right now.
00:22:47
Speaker
Oh, just gambling? No, I would have gone back and invested all of my money into Apple when it first became public and then just just sat there. Or what if you are in the sun parlayed 16 leg parlays every day that you knew we're gonna hit? Well, then they'd catch on.
00:23:13
Speaker
Okay. So you just do it like once or twice, but you put like a middle down on it. They'd still catch on. I don't think so. I think you're, I think you might be a bad time traveler. I don't think so. I, okay. Here's what I do. There's a combination now because you've sort of persuaded me. I go, I put a bunch of money in the apple. I sit on it.
00:23:40
Speaker
I come out with a hundred million dollars. I put it all on a 20 leg parlay one week, where I guess every game in the NFL correctly, I change, I turned my a hundred mill into two bill. And then I chill. Do you think a 20 leg parlay with a hundred million dollars on it is only going to turn into two bill?
00:24:07
Speaker
Okay, more than. This is, you're just stupid. Either way, I chill. You could chill with a hundred million, bro. Yeah, but I want to be big chilling. I want to be chill billing.
Hypothetical Time-Travel Investments
00:24:21
Speaker
See what I'd do is I'd put all my money into Apple and right when Apple got big enough, I'd take out my money and I'd go to Jeff Bezos and I'd say, take this and run with it.
00:24:33
Speaker
And then he'd turn all of that money into like 12 bill. And then by the time that's big enough, I'd go to Elon Musk and I'd say, Elon, take this money and run with it. And then he'd make a whole bunch of money. I'd make a whole bunch of money. And I'd probably be the richest man in the world. And then you put it all on a 20 leg parlay and you become a trillionaire or
00:25:01
Speaker
I put it all on a free spin of big splash splash and hope that I make some money back. Okay, what if you put it on a 20 leg parlay first and then you put the half that you won on a big bath splash? I still don't understand why you think a 20 leg parlay is only gonna pay out two to one.
00:25:29
Speaker
I didn't say that. You said half. Yeah. Put half of your a hundred billion dollars that you made from investing in the smart guys. I take half his shit. And then put it on a 20 leg parlay. What is so hard?
00:25:51
Speaker
To comprehend. If I were a woman, I would marry someone stupid rich. Like I'd do terrible things in the bedroom to marry this man. And then I'd suck it up for like two years and then just divorce him and live just the most lavish life of all time. But what if he was cool and you wanted to like stay with him? Anyone that rich is not cool. They're all fucking nerds. And you know it. So like,
00:26:23
Speaker
Are you just not going to be rich then? What do you mean? If you're calling the rich people nerds. No, but I'd be a woman. Oh, are you, do you have, are you transitioning, Jack? No, this is just an if scenario. Oh my God. What the fuck is happening? I don't know.
00:26:54
Speaker
Do what what what ice cold brew do you got over there? Um, I'll give you two guesses and if you you should already know what I'm drinking. I Mean I should But there are like four options I could see you drinking right now, okay, Jack I
00:27:17
Speaker
Just think, think through the steps here. Okay. No, I, I'm aware of Luke. I, I know what to be thinking there. No, but you can limit this down to one. No, I cannot. You can. I literally can't, but I live in Columbia. Please allow me to list my four and tell me if it's on the list.
00:27:48
Speaker
Mm hmm. Okay, so I'm gonna start with Coors Light. Yeah, then I'm gonna move to Bud Light. And then I'm gonna move to Montaukki. And then I'm gonna move to in case you're feeling a little extra tonight, maybe Estella. Okay, here's the thing, Jack, is it on the list? It's on the list. I don't drink
00:28:15
Speaker
Yeah, Montage is not distributed to South Carolina. Is it not? Nope.
00:28:22
Speaker
And I guess is brought to you by montucky cold brew. We don't deliver to South cold snack that we don't deliver to South Carolina because why would we? I really like their slogan. Yeah. No one gives a fuck about South Carolina. Um, it's really sad. Did I tell you that my parents are going to London and leaving me behind? Why aren't they taking me? Why aren't they taking me?
00:28:53
Speaker
Yeah. It's for their 30th anniversary. Shout out Dave and Mish. Um, that's like not cool of them though. Yeah. But like at the same time, I feel like if I'm that old and I've been married 30 years, I kind of want an excuse to leave my kids behind so I can finally like, I don't know, get a nut for the first time in 15 years. You think it's been that long?
00:29:23
Speaker
I don't think it's been that long, but this morning, so I went to my trainer this morning and he said he's texted his wife every day this week. He gets up real early. He's texted her every day this week. Good morning. I hope you slept well, hoping to fuck later. Your trainer texted his wife? Yeah, sorry, trying to fuck later.
00:29:48
Speaker
And so far, he said this week, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, it has not worked once. He has not got his nut this week. And this guy is like 29 or 30. Yeah, that can happen. Like, like if someone verbally, like if I verbally tell my wife, I'm trying to fuck later, she, she should be ready to fuck later.
00:30:19
Speaker
100% Yeah, but I'm also worried that like What if she doesn't want to Maybe she doesn't want to write then but like
00:30:34
Speaker
She's got to be prepared the next day then, you know? Right. Like you have to be ready for it. Like, yeah. And it's like, especially if you don't even have kids yet. If you don't even have kids yet, you honestly have no excuse. There's none. You know, maybe you can be maybe one night you can be tired or something. That's it. What do you think the max age is that you'll just tap out and say, yeah, I think I just had sex for the last time. Oh, dude. I think that's when I want to die.
00:31:03
Speaker
I don't know. I hope never. I think if I have that thought, just put a noose around me and kick the chair from my legs. What if I just make you eat a shotgun and pull the trigger? That too. I would put it in my mouth and pull the trigger. All right. Sign me up for that deal as well, actually.
00:31:30
Speaker
Yeah, that sounds like a horrible life to lose. Yeah, it sounds pretty terrible. Because, you know what they say, if you ain't getting puss, you should just kill yourself. Yeah, that too. Yeah.
Pizza Chain Debate
00:31:47
Speaker
They say that. So I think I'm gonna get pizza tonight. And I wanted to go over what you think are the best pizza companies out there.
00:31:58
Speaker
Oh, I got, dude, I know this. And I would like to give you my list afterwards and hear you yell at me about how bad my list is. Can you give it to me first? Nope, that's the fun of this. Okay, so what are we considering here? Like the fast food pizza chains? The ones that deliver to your house, yes.
00:32:20
Speaker
but there's sit-down ones that are like delivered. Name the sit-down ones and I'll say yes or no. Like big bills and parries. Okay, sure. Yeah, we'll include those. But if we're including those, those are way above any of Domino's pop jobs. Okay, for the sake of the pod, then we'll just do nationally recognized brands. Fair? Okay. I actually have a new number one in this and it's
00:32:50
Speaker
It's national, but it's not in Colorado. Actually it might be. Okay. You have three, you got a top three. Okay. Ready? My number one, Marco's pizza. Really? Yes. Love it. It was so, it's so much better than Domino's. It's unreal. Is it really? Yes. Okay. Um, number two pizza hut.
00:33:20
Speaker
And number three, Domino's. Okay. I would put Little Caesars ahead of Papa John's. Papa John's tastes like a dirty fish vagina. A dirty fish's vagina? Do you think that like, when two fish are having sex, like they ever make jokes like, your pussy smells like fish. Yeah, but they say it like this.
00:33:51
Speaker
Your pussy smells like fish. I was not expecting that. That was really good. I thought you were going to be like, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. I was going to, but then I pivoted last moment. That was great of it. I'll give you that. Thank you. Okay. Do you want to hear mine? Here's the kind of conundrum I'm stuck in.
00:34:22
Speaker
Okay, I haven't had blackjack pizza probably since elementary school, but I remember that shit slapping so hard. Oh, dude, I forgot about blackjack. I put that at third. You'd put that at third? Yeah, over Domino's. I think I think next time when I see you over New Year's, I think we should try blackjack pizza again.
00:34:45
Speaker
I'm down. I love blackjack. It was so good as a kid. Yeah. When we were little and it literally, we had like pizza Fridays or some shit in elementary school. Like that was so good. Anyway, nationally recognized brands, my top three and yell at me all you want for it. Okay. In terms of, were you basing yours off of just pizza?
00:35:15
Speaker
Yeah, just pizza to nothing else. No chicken. No wings. No nothing. Yeah. Okay, just pizza. I would honestly and I know you're gonna hit I put Papa John's at number one. But have you had it recently? Yes, I have. It was so bad. I'm sorry you were displeased. But let's also not forget
00:35:44
Speaker
Papa John and his media presence. Yeah, him and Peyton go way back.
00:36:01
Speaker
Maybe I had a bad Papa John's experience because I got one from Aurora, you know. Oh, yeah. That's OK. That's OK. Dude, that's like going to a sushi restaurant in Malibu and and just like eating out of a dumpster. It's the same shit.
00:36:21
Speaker
I think it's like going to a sushi restaurant at a gas station in Oklahoma. Okay. That is also perfect. Those both work great. I think that, I think those actually would be two comparable meals. I think so. Yeah. Dumpster in, in Oklahoma gas station sushi. Yeah. It's just like in Malibu, you have more potential and you waste it on garbage can sushi.
00:36:49
Speaker
Yeah, no, that's fair. That's fair. But anyway, so I'd go Papa John's up top. I throw my good friend Domino's in second. And I would throw blackjack in third. But for the same reason, and I feel like I need to try it again, if not to be Pizza Hut. I
00:37:15
Speaker
I think Domino's is so overrated. Have you ever done, oh god, this is such a pizza talk, but have you ever done like Papa Murphy's, like you pick it up and you heat it up at home? No, because I feel like those, that's for like people with triple divorced parents. No! What? No, Luke! What?
00:37:43
Speaker
What the fuck just happened? What? My... Oh no! No! What? I can't even explain the horror that just commenced. What happened? What happened? Shut up. What did you do? My...
Technical Difficulties and Frustration
00:38:13
Speaker
My beer bottle opener X nail clippers. I was playing with them and they broke. Wait. Your beer bottle 14 Pro Max X nail clippers? What? What are you talking about? Oh, I fixed it. No, I didn't. I did not fix it.
00:38:42
Speaker
I have I have beer bottle opener slash. Yeah, I have a beer bottle opener slash a toenail clipper or nail clipper gadget here, and it just fucking broke. Because I was playing with it. Who in their right mind thinks, you know what?
00:39:10
Speaker
I need on the end of my nail clippers. That's straight alcoholism. No, this came from, this came from, uh, the old land without their tea. Wait, the old land without their tea. The land who doesn't have any more tea. Cause we threw it on the fucking Harbor. Wait, Luke.
00:39:39
Speaker
What? I just looked and it says you're offline. Did you press something? No, my thing's so normal. Okay, so I guess we'll keep going, but it says you're offline, so half of this might just be completely unrecorded again. I would be so upset if that's the case. Oh, god.
00:40:11
Speaker
Should I order a pizza now? Now I kinda want a pizza because... What are you, are you gonna order Marcos? Jack, I just got a message, a notification at the bottom left of my computer that said, status, reconnected.
00:40:27
Speaker
Oh, fuck. So we're definitely, we're dead. We're fucked. I think we're dead in the water. So here's the plan, Luke. This is what I'm thinking. Yeah. I think we end this epi here. Okay. We do another one after your shit hole of a weekend.
00:40:48
Speaker
Okay, so like Monday or Tuesday Okay, maybe Wednesday. I don't know whenever you can make work and then we do a Friday as well Okay, yeah, that's fine. Let's uh, I guess just in case let's let's give the old outro Yep, that's what I'm gonna do right now Okay
00:41:14
Speaker
Hello, everyone. Oh, wait, sorry, I have to do the which one? What did I do for the? Was it this? Sorry. Is that it? Okay, anyway, Jeff, just throw in that outro sound for me right around this mark. And I'm gonna do the outro. Smart.
00:41:41
Speaker
This has been a Headed Weest Podcast. Headed Weest. Brought to you by Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack. And Luke. And Domino's Pizza.
00:42:10
Speaker
Thank you for tuning into another at least podcast. Okay. Bye now.