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Chumbles Goes to Home De-Pot
21 Plays11 months ago
Special guest: Taylor Swift joins us for an episode to remember. #LawsWhiskey #Sephora
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:00:01
Speaker
Is it going? It's going. Is it going? It's going. Oh, shit. Okay. Hold up. Oh, there it is.
00:00:26
Speaker
And welcome to Headed Wheels. Oh my gosh. Sorry, this one's getting out late. Apparently no one cares about start times anymore. With that being said, Luke, do you want to tell our listeners about our special guest this week?
Victoria's Quirky Introduction
00:00:54
Speaker
Oh yeah. Maybe like a quick backstory, maybe two or three intimate details about their life and then what their favorite type of holla is. Jack, only Jewish people like holla. Is that true? Okay. Anyway. We should take a poll on that. I don't know about that. Very special guest. Who's been friends of the pod since episode one.
00:01:25
Speaker
great friend, uh, two intimate details. They're vegetarian. And, um, they're a woman. Welcome Victoria. I'm so excited to be on the pod. I can't believe it. We have a guest. I know that's not Fogle and that's not, um, Teddy.
00:01:54
Speaker
So this is really exciting for us. I'm not really sure how we're going to handle it, but we're just going to kind of see how it goes, you know? I think this will be the only woman we ever have on the podcast. I don't think we'll ever want to come on again. Right. This is an exciting day for me because I've actually never talked to a woman. So it's a milestone in my life. Not really. Kind of. I am sweating a little bit. My country boy boots.
00:02:24
Speaker
You're catching my boots. I got my country boy boots. Yeah.
Tunnel Digging Hobby
00:02:29
Speaker
Can we address the elephant in the room? Yeah, we should. We really should. Why are you building tunnels in New York? Okay, see, I knew you were gonna ask me that. And I don't really have an answer for you other than I really like to dig. So I spent a lot of time, a lot of my free time just like
00:02:54
Speaker
You know, what most people do. I watch a couple Netflix shows, the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm is out, and then I dig. I don't think anybody else does that. You might want to go see somebody about that.
00:03:15
Speaker
I have a feeling that you're kind of just the loner in this part of the argument. I'm pretty popular if you didn't know. I'm a pretty popular guy. I would say that I'm not the only digger in this chat. What's that supposed to mean?
00:03:38
Speaker
I just like to dig. That's all.
Drink Preferences and Humor
00:03:41
Speaker
Can I ask you both what your drink of choice is tonight? You can ask me. I don't know if you have permission to ask our guest, but you can ask me that. You may have permission. Thank you. I appreciate it. Please do tell. I have a Cayman Jack Margarita. Whoa.
00:04:06
Speaker
Well, pretty fancy for a Friday afternoon. Yeah. Really, really had a bad day and a bad week. So, Oh no. Oh no. Yeah. Usually when that happens to me, I go straight for, straight for the whiskey. Um, tequila also also helps. What am I drinking? Yeah.
00:04:33
Speaker
Um, I'm drinking a mix of, uh, what is this? What's this flavor? Watermelon white claw and my own tears. Yeah. Yeah. I like hold the can up under my eyes and it catches it. It actually adds a nice little flavor to it. Um, should I try that?
00:04:57
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, if you're crying anyway, you might as well just add, just, you know. Well, can I have yours? Give it a try. No, I'm not giving you my tears. Okay, let me just make some. Oh my God, wait. Luke, are you thinking what I think you're thinking about? I'm thinking about what am I thinking about?
00:05:28
Speaker
I'm not surprised. Were you just vacuuming? Yeah, my vacuum turned on. Victoria, we can verbally communicate here. You can talk to us. I know. I know.
Visual Audio: Guessing Game
00:05:49
Speaker
Sorry. I'm a little nervous. That's all right. It's OK. I get it. It's your first time. I understand. Yeah.
00:06:00
Speaker
Yeah, so as I was saying No, I didn't I just opened my phone and that played So I have an interesting segment. I want to try on this episode and I'm not sure
00:06:29
Speaker
If our guest wants to take part in this, you can if you want. I think our guest is part of the show. No, I understand. But if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to. You guys are all about consent here, right? Right. Yeah. Consent's a big thing on this pod. A political podcast. We don't want to get political, but yeah.
00:06:53
Speaker
Consents kind of big. Where were we? I'm looking for- Do you have a segment? A little segment? Yeah, the segment I want to try is called Visual Audio. And Luke, while I look for this, I want you to guess what this segment is going to be. Found it. Are we supposed to use our ears to see?
00:07:25
Speaker
No, no, that's not it. I have no clue because we can't see each other if our loyal listeners didn't know. Right. We are not in one room. Our set, it burned down in the great tsunami of Nagasaki in 2009. Yes, we're originally from
00:07:55
Speaker
Naga Saki. Yeah. That was, or was it Okinawa? Which was this, you know what I mean? I thought you were talking about like the booze. No, that's just Saki. That's not Naga Saki. That's just Saki. That's my bad. No, I do like that though. Can we get to the segment? Oh, someone's getting a little impatient.
00:08:24
Speaker
So this segment, this is a segment brought to you by ISSA Sandwich. Sorry, it took me a second. Everyone, please go follow ISSA Sandwich on Instagram. They do great sandwich reviews. We have a very dedicated listener who actually is a co-
00:08:44
Speaker
operator of the account. But yeah, It's a Sandwich. What can you put in your mouth? So this segment is brought to you by It's a Sandwich. This is called Visual Audio. And basically, what's going to happen is at least Luke and I, if our guest wants to take part, they may. I'm going to send a video, a very graphic, disturbing video that you definitely don't want to watch.
00:09:12
Speaker
And then we're going to just react to it out loud as we watch this video and you're just going to listen. And then, oh, maybe our guest can guess what video, what's happening in the video we're watching. Can I tap in a team
Improv Skit: Toilet Shopping
00:09:34
Speaker
member to watch the video? You may, you may. Okay, I think I'm going to do it. I don't even know if I want to watch this video, Victoria.
00:09:42
Speaker
Yeah, I'm a little scared. I'm just so bad. Jack texted me about this earlier this week. And I was like, I don't want to watch that because he didn't want to watch it. Yeah, maybe we can watch it together for moral support on the pod. But I'm very scared. Here's the thing. I have I have that video, but that video is two minutes long.
00:10:09
Speaker
I have a different one. I have a different one that's equally as terrible and it's only 35 seconds. Well, is it the same concept? It's still disturbing video and it's someone getting hurt. Oh, God. Okay. Okay. I'm very scared. This one is I in my opinion, I've watched this one already, but I'm gonna watch it again. This one is
00:10:40
Speaker
in my opinion, better than the other one we were going to watch. Okay, so should we have Victoria guess what it is? Yeah, we should have Victoria guess, but she definitely doesn't want to watch this. Okay, and then after this, let's get into like good vibes, you know? Right, right. But this is just the new segment brought to you by us a sandwich visual audio. Are you guys gonna mute yourself so I can't hear it? No, you're supposed to hear our reactions. Oh, I see.
Taylor Swift and Fan Crazes
00:11:10
Speaker
you guess what it was based off of the reactions. I'm not gonna lie, I'm meeting some pretty sloppy ravioli right now. I think this is gonna ruin my update. It probably won't, it might, but it probably won't. Okay, Luke, I'm gonna text it to you right now. Okay. Okay. Oh, God. Okay, open it up and then pause it.
00:11:39
Speaker
Pause it. Pause it at the zero second mark. Okay. Okay. One sec. An opening. It has to buffer. It was like, let me disconnect from the wifi. Oh my God. Okay. Oh no. I know what's about to happen. Okay. Are you at zero seconds?
00:12:08
Speaker
Yeah, I'm at zero seconds. Are you gonna play audio or should I? I'll play it quietly. Okay, I'll do the same. No, you do you. You do normal. Okay, okay. I'll do my quietly. Okay. Tell me when to start. Okay, three, two, one, go. Okay.
00:12:36
Speaker
A lot of feathers on the ground. Is that a chicken? No way. Oh shit! Twice? Three times? Four? Four times? In the back. Oh my god, no way.
00:13:08
Speaker
He went over, over top, for several times. That was so gross. Dude, that last one. That last one. The last one you could really see it. Oh my god. That is a dumb sport. That is a dumb sport. I will give the caption. There's no notes. You can't give any hints.
00:13:33
Speaker
Well, that's part of the video because it's captioned. I guess it's captioned. Okay. Oh, yuck. I only watched the first 10 seconds the first time I sent it or the first time I watched it. Yeah, you didn't realize it just got worse. Yeah. Oh my God. Okay. All right, Victoria. All right. What do you think we just watched? Okay. You get three guesses and we'll tell you if you're hot or cold.
00:14:00
Speaker
Okay, my first one is someone driving over another person in a golf cart. Interesting. You know what? That's weirdly. Close. Okay. Not so far. Yeah, you're so far away. But like,
00:14:20
Speaker
But it's not a bad guess. It really isn't. In a way, that's what happened, but just in a way more severe, gruesome, and brutal form. Can I ask why you thought that? Yes, you can. You said, oh my God, in the back four times
Teen Trends and Social Media Impact
00:14:40
Speaker
and then-
00:14:44
Speaker
And then you said something about how it went over him like four or five times So I just imagine and then you said something about a stupid sport no offense for you, man Yeah, well lot to unpack there Yeah
00:15:03
Speaker
I mean, I just, I just got torn apart more than that guy did. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So now that you know that it's not a golf cart running over somebody, what's your second guess? That's right. Wait, we should give a hint. I'll give you a hint.
00:15:33
Speaker
It's a little more, it's a little more, it's a little more Spanish. Okay. Cause yeah, I heard something about chickens. So is this in like Mexico? No, no, no, no. I would say it's more Spain Spanish, not Mexico. Would you agree with that Luke? I would agree with that. Okay. Yeah. I'd say it's more Spain. Oh, could be. Oh.
00:16:03
Speaker
Probably both of the two. Did a bull run over somebody? Oh, we're red hot. We're red hot. At a football match? Your hand is on the stove. Oh, we're cold now. A bull ran over somebody. It doesn't have to do with running over. Yeah, it's... You know what they say, you mess with the bull.
00:16:36
Speaker
Maybe you don't know what they say. Well, that made me think of something, but I don't want it to be real. I think I'm thinking too crazy. Nevermind. It's not. I don't. I wouldn't guarantee you. Okay, good. Because I was like, ew. You mess with the bowl and you get what?
00:17:01
Speaker
So did the bull stab someone with his horns? Oh yeah, little bingo. It was four times. He got stabbed in the face, the back, the chest. Like in the spine. Yeah, and you could see every puncture, and after he got stabbed, the bull flung the guy up, and he went over the bull every single time. Like four times. It was fucking disgusting.
00:17:29
Speaker
Yeah, that was bad. How did you find that video? Can I ask? We don't really need to get into it, but my Twitter feed's kind of a wild place to be. You don't need to explain Twitter. No one can. Yeah. I guess it's X now. So earlier this week though, Jack wanted to
Culinary and Cultural Content
00:17:54
Speaker
send me a video because he couldn't watch it.
00:17:57
Speaker
in the video, he said, was a dude chopping off his pinky. And I was like, I don't want to watch that. That was the two minute video that we didn't watch. Oh my God, two minutes long? Yeah. Does he not do it right at the beginning?
00:18:16
Speaker
I don't know. Well, he has like, what do you call them? Hedge trimmers? You know, like the big fucking and the- Like the shears? Yeah. Yeah, those. And the thumbnail of the video is this guy's pinky in between the two blades. And I know this page. I've seen this page before.
Conclusion and Teasers
00:18:42
Speaker
I guarantee you in that video that he chopped it off on purpose, just because. Have you seen the dude, Natasha point L clip where the dude shoots? He has a Glock and he just shoots his penis. Was it on purpose? Like 21 Jump Street. You shot my dick off. I don't think it came off. I think it just went straight through.
00:19:13
Speaker
Wow. It must've been pretty chode if you fit a bullet through and through. Well, you think about nine millimeters, pretty small bullet. Luke, I'm going to send you the thumbnail of another video on that. I don't, we already, we can save that for next part. I thought we were going to make it lighter now. That's true. Yep. That's all right. Yeah. We have to close out the segment now. This segment was brought to you by It's a Sandwich. Follow on Instagram. It's a sandwich.
00:19:43
Speaker
What can you fit in your mouth? I'm sure that they are really happy with that sponsored segment. Uh, yeah, I didn't really, I texted, I texted our contact there about it and I was like, listen, this is what we're going to do. And I texted him like five minutes before we started and he didn't get back to me, but I'm sure it's okay. That's on them. Then, you know, they know when we record the contract. Yeah.
00:20:12
Speaker
Oh, well. All I need to do is the ad record. Yeah, dude, we have such a... Hey, wait. This is a mini visual audio. Okay, ready? Oh, my God. Do you know what I was just about to do? No way.
00:20:40
Speaker
I was about to do that. Oh, yeah. I can't yet. Eric's going to get me something. Oh. Oh, Rick with a K. Rick with a K. Can you tell him I said fine? Yeah. He can hear you. Hi, Rick. Hi. There's nothing out there. Oh my god, there's Eric. This is the distance. Hi. I love it. I'm back on my steps.
00:21:11
Speaker
I don't speak French. Scanning for Mexicans. Wait, did you do it? Did you do the thing? Yeah, did you not hear it? Oh my god. I don't know. I didn't hear it. That's never gonna I'm never gonna financially recover from this.
00:21:37
Speaker
All right. Uh, Luca, do you want to do your segment now or should we let the guests do hers? What was my segment? Oh, I actually have a segment. Yeah, you were supposed to prepare a segment, Luke. I have one though. Okay. Cause you like have her on this podcast. So you need to prepare a segment. Yeah. I need to do a little bit better job about that going forward, but that's, that's noted.
00:22:06
Speaker
today. No, absolutely. Can you just give me like five minutes? No, dude, I got you. I'll do the ad read and then we'll just go and join me to join me to do the ad read. Yeah. Yeah. That would be great. Actually. Um, I have a great segment. Do you really?
00:22:36
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Should I do the ad read now though? Or do you want to do this first? Actually we can all do this first because this can go into our sponsor afterwards. Okay. Okay. This involves you guys. Okay. We're going to do a little improv here. Okay. Okay. Okay. My name is jumbles crumbs and I am trying to buy a toilet.
00:23:06
Speaker
from Home Depot, and you two are assisting me in my purchase of a toilet at Home Depot. Okay? Okay. All right. Oh, okay. Begin. Hi, welcome to Home Depot. How may I assist you today?
00:23:27
Speaker
Yeah, so I'm just gonna keep this one a little quiet for a second here Okay, no, but nobody really the store doesn't need to hear this but I need a new toilet mine is mine is broken and We don't need to get into why that is but can you help me find one? Sir in order to best assist you we really do need to know what didn't work with your old toilet the
00:23:55
Speaker
The toilet worked well for a number of years. It was just, it was an unfortunate circumstance and it's a little personal, okay? I just need to be pointed in the direction of toilets. Could you help me with that? Well, depending on what your unfortunate circumstance was, there's better ways that we can help you to a new toilet that you'll like better and you won't have unfortunate circumstances happen in the future.
00:24:24
Speaker
No, no, I promise you, I have the information in my head about what I need here. I really could do it myself if you just show me where they are.
00:25:02
Speaker
Sir, please follow me and I'll show you our selection of wonderful toilets here at Home Depot. Thank you very much. This first toilet here is really good if your old toilet maybe got super stopped up for some reason.
00:25:22
Speaker
That's, that's a, that's a great start. Um, but I think we're going to need some technology in this one, you know? Oh, let me, yes. Please let me show you to the Japanese section. Oh, lovely. By the way, may I ask what your name is? Oh yes. Uh, crumbs, chumbles, crumbs. Nice to meet you. What, what's your name, sir?
00:25:52
Speaker
My name is William M. Butlicker. Oh no, you can't take a family guy name. It's not, it's the office. Thank you for your help, Mr. Butlicker. These Japanese toilets do look mighty fine, I must say. Oh, wonderful. How many cubic meters of, let's say,
00:26:23
Speaker
pudding, could one of these consume? Oh, I'm glad you asked that. Let me direct you to our sales associate to answer that question for you. I'm sorry, sir. I just, I can't understand what pudding has to do with this right now. Could you expand? I'm just using it as, as a placeholder for something that, uh, would go into a toilet maybe.
00:26:51
Speaker
Mmm, that would flow through the mechanisms of a toilet. Do you have a habit of putting pudding in your toilet? No, pudding is unrelated. Pudding is just, we don't need, it could be anything. It could be humans. It could be, it could, whatever. I'm sorry sir, are you a serial killer? No, no. Who said that? I don't like the way that I'm getting spoken to here.
00:27:24
Speaker
Hi, there's someone at the Home Depot who's shoving shit in his toilet. I'm just gonna head out. I'm gonna go. Are they still misbehaving? That was a great segment brought to you by Home Depot. Home Depot. Nice. What can you put in your toilet?
00:27:52
Speaker
Oh, nice. I can put all sorts of things in my toilet. Like, per se? Pudding. Nice. Nice. What kind of pudding do you put in your toilet? I'm really more of a jello man, myself. I like jello, but sometimes it's like, you can't have too much. There's like a threshold.
00:28:22
Speaker
I agree, it's the texture that gets you. Yeah. What about like, you like that cozy shack rice pudding? What the fuck is that? It's so good. Thank you. The cozy shack rice pudding. It's so good, Jack. It's phenomenal. It's like there's rice in the pudding, but the pudding is better than normal pudding. It's kind of butterscotchy a little bit.
00:28:51
Speaker
Yes, and I love Butterscotch. You ever had a Werther's Original? Let me tell you, it'll change your life. Is that a no? This episode is brought to you by Telus Spectra, where entertainment meets innovation. Immerse yourself in a kaleidoscope of shows and movies with our state of the art streaming platform,
00:29:17
Speaker
From gripping dramas to laugh out loud comedies, Telespectra delivers an unparalleled viewing cosmos. Elevate your entertainment universe, and subscribe now to Telespectra at Telespectra.com. Did you just read a real ad? That ad read was brought to you by ChatGPT. Stop it, Jack. We're selling ChatGPT space right now.
00:29:44
Speaker
I am broke. I am so broke. I get it. The listeners want to hear us. We're the stars, baby. I was talking to our friends at It's a Sandwich the other day, not to bring up another ad read, but they were telling me that they would rather listen to the ad reads than us. No shot.
00:30:10
Speaker
I'm going to need some confirmation of that. Mr. Bone, if you wouldn't mind reaching out to explain. Cameron Bone, please, please Instagram DM us. I have a question for our guest, our guest here on the pod today. I have a question for you. Of course. Are you a Swifty? No. Okay. Why?
00:30:43
Speaker
Do I need to follow up? I just had a question for you. No, I actually do. Why? I was just curious. Do you not like Taylor Swift? I don't mind her. I think that she has incredible songs and I think she's really talented, but her fan base just kind of bothers me. Oh, I'm about to get canceled. Damn. Wait. That's true. That's true. These are real. The truth on headed waste.
00:31:10
Speaker
I just don't, I don't see that for like any kind of fan craze around celebrities. I don't really understand like the whole thing about it. Like even like I love Harry Styles. I will die for One Direction, but I'm not losing my mind and stalking Harry Styles and seeing who he's dating and what he's doing and having all these opinions online about him. I just kind of like go
00:31:34
Speaker
like about my life going, yeah, I like his songs, you know? So I don't understand that whole fan craze. And I think Swifties are a huge thing with that. Thank God, because agreed, huge agreed. The people that like try and tell me the gossip, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? You know, I don't care if Harry Styles like stepped on a Stanley Foreman grill in the morning. I don't care.
00:32:01
Speaker
It's a George Foreman grill. Also, Stanley is the mug that I was just about to say. Is this another ad? No, we would never get sponsored by them. Yeah. They're too good for us.
00:32:19
Speaker
Look like all the fucking Swifties. Have you guys watched those videos? I'm an anti. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. It's like Black Friday all over again. It's absurd. And they're all like five years old. Yeah. I mean, you got to start them young, you know? Yeah, that's fair. There's a similar issue in Sephora right now. I don't know if you guys have heard about this. Dude, sorry. No. Just hold that for five seconds.
00:32:46
Speaker
Luke, our female viewership is going to be up so high this week. Oh my God. Okay. I can't believe it. Anyways, um, it's the same thing with like how the, the Stanley cup thing was a whole tick tock like influencer BS thing. Um, so now all of the tweens that are on that app are like, I need a Stanley cup or I'm not going to be popular. And they're doing the same thing in Sephora because all these like 20 and 30 year old influencers are being like, I love
00:33:14
Speaker
this makeup item that's like $85 and so these bratty little tweens are going into Sephora's and making their parents spend upwards of a thousand dollars on makeup on their like little prepubescent phases. It's crazy and they're all super rude and they don't know how to act and it's like a crazy epidemic right now. Good god. If I purchased a makeup product and the bill came out to a thousand dollars, I would
00:33:43
Speaker
I would burn the store down. You would just resolve yourself with being ugly and walk away? I would. I think beauty is on the inside.
00:33:55
Speaker
That just might be a personal thought that I share, but I just I don't see beauty on the outside. It's the first generation iPad kids are all tweens now. So they're like wreaking havoc on society. It's actually crazy.
00:34:15
Speaker
All those people too were in COVID, like lockdown for their major development years. Yeah, they're all weird. Weird as fuck. Yeah, it's gonna be crazy. I can't wait till like 10 years from now when literally every single person is weird. I'm scared for that. Is that not already a reality? No, because if it was, we'd have people listening to this.
00:34:39
Speaker
Wait, guys, this brings me into another thing. I wonder if you feel the same way on this, but since COVID, I feel like people have never been nice and they've always been annoying in public, but since COVID, everyone is atrocious to each other. No one has any manners and everyone's insane, especially at concerts. Have you guys noticed that? I have been to, hold on, let me count. One.
00:35:10
Speaker
Hold on, I'm counting. It's gonna be one.
00:35:17
Speaker
I've been to zero concerts since COVID. So I can't really say anything on that. Okay, but just concerts are a big thing for me. But just in general, like grocery stores in public and other places, like people are so impatient and rude for no reason. Like, oh my god, you guys know my mom, my beautiful mom. She was at King Super's buying a bunch of chips and snacks for Will while he was
00:35:42
Speaker
back home and the lady behind her looked up like her up and down and like looked at all of the things that she was buying all the junk food and literally was like Nobody first of all if you're looking at what I'm buying at this at the supermarket, you're weird You're weird. You're self-conscious of your what you're buying and you're trying to get validation over what I'm buying like go fuck yourself, you know But it's just like that kind of thing all the time
00:36:12
Speaker
You know, I don't. People are scary, so I don't look at them. I was going to say, have you guys been out in public since COVID? I mean, this this podcast kind of took off, so I get all my groceries delivered. For sure. I've actually only been to the grocery store one time in 2024, and that was today at about 5 30 p.m.
00:36:41
Speaker
Well, that's not that shocking. We're 19 days in. Yeah, but one time in 19 days. I haven't been yet. I go to the grocery store like once every three months. Yeah. Okay. I go to the grocery store just as often as I do my laundry. Wait a second. How often do you do your laundry? Have I gone to the grocery store yet? Nope.
00:37:11
Speaker
Can I ask you? I need to ask both of you. How often do you watch your bedsheets? Usually once every three weeks. Holy fuck. Mine's about as often as I go to the grocery store.
00:37:30
Speaker
I was gonna say I'm scared of your guys' answers. I think mine is probably also as often as I go to the grocery store. Oh, so you changed your sheets today? No. Oh, well, then you just lied to me. And that's why I said maybe half as much. Sorry, it's getting really hot up here. What did you just did you just kill a mouse? Did you know the sound that my window makes when I open it?
00:38:01
Speaker
I think I'm gonna need to have somebody investigate your house. I need someone to... Can they investigate my laundry? Maybe do it for me? Wait guys, guess whose house I'm in right now? Yours? Luke's! No. Fuck. That would be wild. I don't... Oh shit. No way. Yeah. What? I'm dog sitting for her parents.
00:38:32
Speaker
That's crazy. I know. Isn't that funny? TBT. Oh my God. I've only been there like twice. Halloween 2020 2016. Oh my God. Wait three times because of Halloween. I forgot about that. Whoa. I grew up in her basement. I'm in the carpet.
00:38:54
Speaker
No, I made it to the bathroom sink, but not the toilet. That's halfway there, dude. I mean, it's tough. It's tough. You know what? It didn't spill everywhere. You have the right intention. Yeah, exactly. I hope she doesn't listen to the podcast. I don't think she wrote this podcast. When it blows up, she'll hear.
00:39:23
Speaker
Wait, are you in the basement right now? No, I'm just in their kitchen. Yeah, is it a nice kitchen? There's a marble countertop. Yes, it is a very nice kitchen. It's like the size of my apartment. How many, how many, uh, somebody called like how many, if you had to put a bunch of pots on the stove, how many pots could you fit? Oh, is it an eight pot stove? No, it's probably six.
00:39:53
Speaker
It is technically eight, but the seven and eight is taken out right now to do like a bacon pancake griddle thing. So six plus the flat top. Yeah, but you can move it and put more on so that it's eight. I think we were both right. I don't know. Anyways, I'm living life in Cherry Hills right now.
00:40:20
Speaker
Wait, are you staying there? Yeah, they're gone this weekend to go to Brock. So I dogsit for them every once in a while and I just stay here. Oh my gosh. Living the lavish life. I know. I wish this was my house. I love this house. I miss living in my parents' house. I miss owning something. Well, not me personally, but like living in a place that I own and where like management isn't yelling at me once a month for money.
00:40:48
Speaker
Yeah. I actually thought about moving out of my house into an apartment. To get that extra income that you would pay to an apartment. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Makes sense. No, because dude.
00:41:07
Speaker
Oh, because that one guy who has two last names that lives with you. Yeah, I would leave too. He has two last names and trust him. No, because you don't have to worry about house things in an apartment. It's so much nicer to just park and walk straight into your house though. Yeah, but like, I don't care that much about that. Like, I'm a walking boy, you know, I put one foot in front of the other.
00:41:39
Speaker
You're gonna miss it once it's gone. You did what with your foot? I put one foot in the other. Can you stop killing Remy the rat from Ratatouille? Dude, Remy? Ah, fucking hot take. Remy was kind of a stuck-up bitch. Wait, was Remy the rat or was Remy the chef? Remy was the rat. The chef was wingy. What was the chef?
00:42:10
Speaker
Are you sure he wasn't Alfredo? I'm positive. No. You're wrong, Luke. What was his hot girlfriend's name? Colette. Colette? Oh, yeah. It was either Colette or Colette. She had a normal name. She had a French name. I think it was Colette. It was either Colette or Emo Batty. I can't remember. Yeah. I think it was the first one. I don't know.
00:42:36
Speaker
They both fit. Wait, speaking of French, Victoria, you speak French. Un peu. It's like I'm in Paris. No, Luke, you would never be in Paris. It's Freud. What? Are you trying to say it's cold or something? Yeah. Je m'appelle Jacques. Je m'appelle Luke.
00:43:06
Speaker
Je suis un homme. Je suis Freud. Je suis Freud. You're Freud? I am Freud. You are Freud. Isn't that I am cold? You're pronouncing it hella wrong, but you are thinking of the right word. It is Freud. Of course, yeah. What did you say? Four?
00:43:37
Speaker
No, no, no. I didn't pronounce it correctly. I'm just going to let you think it's Freud. It's definitely Freud. They spell it F-R-O-I-D. How else could you? Did you believe a translator or something? Why do you know that? It's because I saw it on a sink one time. Oh, wow. World traveler.
00:43:59
Speaker
What is your name? In place. In place what? In place must wash hands. Wait, what? Have you ever seen The Dictator? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, what is your name? And he's like, employees. He's looking at the sign that says employees must wash hands. Employees must wash hands. He goes, that's his fake name.
00:44:28
Speaker
I would, I would honestly think that that was the real name. If somebody said that to me. Interesting name. You went with Allison burgers. And that was more real. Have you guys seen, not to switch the subject, but have you guys seen the Chinese wrapping ladies that cook?
00:44:57
Speaker
I know a Vietnamese lady just died. What? What? There's a TikTok lady who cooked. She died. Why do you keep bringing this to a negative place? She's like, oh, oh, Linda. Yeah, Linda. No, this isn't negative. I was actually really sad about that. It's a very positive story. Yeah, it is sad, but yeah. She was awesome. Yeah, I'm sure you've seen her videos, Vic. She does like cooking videos, but she is this really old Vietnamese lady, and she
00:45:27
Speaker
She references the popular memes, like, very obviously bad, but on purpose. You said she's on TikTok? TikTok insta- well, now she's not, but- Well, yeah, she's dead now. I almost slept on jail talk for the most part. Oh, I got into a jail talk? Yeah, I got jail talk and then reality TV.
00:45:50
Speaker
You get the jail people that show you how to make food in jail. Yeah, and then also the ones who are trying to get people to date them. Oh, I haven't seen those. The JDate or whatever? No, it's not called JDate, nevermind. I don't know what it's called. Are any of them attractive and potentially at least somewhat mentally stable? They all look like they've killed eight people.
00:46:16
Speaker
Oh. And still sleep. Okay. And they're like, I just want a pen pal. Hit me up at this line. Send photos. Like it's crazy. Do you think any of them have money? I doubt it. Or else why would they be in jail? Well, you know, I'm just trying to keep my options open. Because if they had money, they would have been able to prevent themselves from going. Well, you know, unless they were just really mentally unstable and did something crazy.
00:46:47
Speaker
Right. Like Luke has money sometimes. I have zero money. Okay. Zero. I know. That's not true. So don't do crime. You're fucked. Yeah, that's true. And you're kind of in a crime area. Don't get influenced. Apparently last year.
00:47:10
Speaker
The cops showed up at my house while I was at work looking for somebody who used to live here years ago committed crime in the walls. I am not going anywhere that is not in the confines of the normal space of this house. I'll get paranormal activity.
00:47:40
Speaker
You've already gotten paranormal activity. You're wearing a fucking paranormal ring. I actually lost that today. It's probably going to show up somewhere scary. Maybe it's on my desk. Yeah. Is it clear? Sort of. You're quiet. I have to pee. I'll be right back.
00:48:08
Speaker
Okay, we got it. What was I gonna ask you? Oh, fuck. Oh, I'm having some acid reflux right now. If you can't tell, that ravioli's not sitting in me. Hey, Luke! Yep. I'm gay. Nice, dude. I can't hear it, though. It's a little sad. How was your week, Luke?
00:48:36
Speaker
My week was hideous. Same. It's just, I don't like working. I want to be done with work. We should all find sugar daddies. Well, that's why I was asking you about the jail people and if any of them had money. Understood. Yeah, no. If I see a rich looking one, I'll send them your way though.
00:49:00
Speaker
Okay. Oh, preferably a woman, but I guess. I don't know if that's a thing. Well, if you do send them my way, I'm going to, okay. I want to play this, uh, this Chinese wrapping lady for you. Okay. Wait, I have something to say really quick. Okay. My dad just texted. He says hello to the headed waste podcast and that he wants us to sponsor laws whiskey.
00:49:30
Speaker
No way. Wait, no way. Wait, does he listen? No, he does. Also, also. I worked out with him this morning and he has no idea who I am. You did? Yep. Where? Viking Power Fitness. Get your swole on. At Viking Power Fitness. Yeah.
00:50:00
Speaker
That is so funny. Yeah. I mean, every time I'm there, like I see him, I don't say hi to him because it's like past that point. And now it's like awkward. Yeah. I see him all the time and he has no idea who I am, but now he sponsors the pod. So I'm probably going to have to say hi. Yeah, I will. I can make him listen to this section of the podcast. So anyways, everyone
00:50:30
Speaker
No, it's okay. We're about to close out this pod with just 10 minutes of straight fuego. Right. We have 10 minutes left and here comes the, here comes the, the laws final 10. Okay. I have a segment here. Yeah, go for it. I'm going to play you a song and I want you to guess what is happening during this song. Okay.
00:50:58
Speaker
Dude, what does that even mean? I'm gonna play something for you and just tell me what you think is happening and then I'll explain to you what's happening afterwards, okay? So, would you call this segment Audible Vision? Visual Audio. No, Audible Vision. Audible Vision, yeah, this is Audible Vision. Okay. Okay, ready? Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:51:28
Speaker
No. All right.
00:51:34
Speaker
Do you know him all? Can I tell you about yourself? My friend says that's all. You don't care, you care. You will tell my lollies, yeah. Tell your lollies, don't care. I have to tell your lollies, yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes
00:52:02
Speaker
Okay, the rest of it's like not as cool stuff. What do you think happened? I'm gonna abstain from answering this question. This is this is three women. Oh my god. They want me to tell you they're making a chicken dish. Victoria.
00:52:27
Speaker
That is the baddest part of it. Wait, wait, wait. I'm so good at this. What did she say? It's probably not banh mi, but it looks similar to it. I said making banh mi. What is banh mi? Like the Vietnamese sandwiches. Oh. OK, ready? I'm going to start it, and I'm going to live audio it for you, OK? What does that mean?
00:52:56
Speaker
there's a fish she threw a fish on the table and they were playing poker and they got mad so they put a they put a cloth over its head and then they pirati chopped its head and tail off and now that and then they have a big wok and now they're filleting the fish and then she has a 10 gallon water jug
00:53:13
Speaker
and she sprinkled it on the fish, and then they boiled the fish in some peppers. And now they're fighting in the background while the other one is boiling noodles, and now they put peanuts on the noodles, and then they put hot oil, and then she's choking out the other grandma.
00:53:33
Speaker
and then she's breathing fire and she's wearing sunglasses. Now they're all wearing sunglasses and they're eating together and they look happy but then one of them smoldered at the camera and the other one has a cilantro on their face. Wow.
00:53:52
Speaker
Would recommend there's, there's, um, we gotta, we have to bring this segment back next week. There's 90 posts, so there's plenty to go. Audible vision, audible vision brought to you by, uh, laws whiskey. Do you want to do the ad readers? Should I?
00:54:13
Speaker
Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do the ad rate. All right, go for it. This week's segment of Audible Vision is brought to you by... No, no, no. This podcast... This podcast is brought to you by Laws Whiskey, a smooth and very
00:54:34
Speaker
caramel whiskey with notes of oak and brewed in a barrel for over 42 years. So you know, it's good. Okay, stop. Craft over commodity whiskey overall. Craft over commodity whiskey. Can you guys please, this is my ad read. I sent you the whole fucking read bro. Can you
00:55:04
Speaker
Please. Oh my god. I'm, I'm, I'm just audible-ing, okay? Craft over... What, what was it Victoria? Jack got in my head. You know what? It's fine. I think this is over. Craft over commodity whiskey over all. La's Whiskey. Denver, Colorado's fastest growing whiskey brand. Brought to you by La's Whiskey. You should have done that the first time. That was way sweeter. I saved it. I saved it.
00:55:34
Speaker
Save the best for last. That's what I always say. Yep. Jack, I can't just get a chat GPT to do it. We're about authenticity here. I'm one of the more authentic people you'll ever meet. Agreed. Agreed. The GPT is not. Well, chat told me to say that.
00:56:02
Speaker
It is a pretty good ad read though, I gotta say. It really is. Now that we're in an actual sponsor, we may have to add the logo to the... Oh, we can do that. To the product, like a little watermark. Yeah, a little tiny watermark. We left room there on purpose for that.
00:56:30
Speaker
Anyway, we have three minutes left. I mean, I'd say all of us get a minute. Let's just take a minute to say goodbye and to thank the viewers, listeners. So we're going to start. I think we're going to start with the guest. You have 60 seconds. Take it away.
00:56:59
Speaker
All right. Well, um, long time fan, first time guests. This has been a great experience. Um, I'm really excited to have been a part of this podcast and can't wait to keep headed waste and love you all. Okay. You can take the leftover time, Lucas. Um,
00:57:24
Speaker
Okay, guys, I hope you enjoyed next next week because we're a regularly scheduled podcast. We're going to have another incredible guest. So make sure to stay tuned because you're not going to want to miss this one. When I say bigger than Jeff Bezos, Tim Cook, Bill Gates, Jeff Yepi all combined.
00:57:50
Speaker
I'm not even, that's an understatement. So you don't want to miss this. And back to you, Jack.
00:58:01
Speaker
Um, all right. Well, two minutes left here on the pod. Uh, just wanted to take a second to sincerely thank all of our viewers for tuning in. I'd like to specifically thank our sponsors because that's kind of the only way I'm getting by right now. Um, thank you as a sandwich. Thank you home Depot and your toilets. Thank you laws whiskey. Um,
00:58:29
Speaker
There was something else I wanted to say. Oh yeah, next week, we will have another segment of visual audio and another segment of Audible Vision. Really looking forward to what we have planned. I've already started writing down everything that I have planned. We'll also have Luke's special Intra podcast segment.
00:59:04
Speaker
Oh my gosh, that's so hard. That's a hard word to find in my brain. Vocabulary doesn't come easy to me. Wumbo. Yeah. Well, you know, that's right. I wumbo, you wumbo, she, she, she wumbo.
00:59:24
Speaker
That's going to do it here on Headed Whis. Thank you very much and have a terrific evening. Good night. Bye.
00:59:52
Speaker
You just fuckin' burped, dude. Stop! You're such a piece of shit.