Transcript
jfriedman17: do so No, you can't do it just started get out of here go Our special our special guest writer has joined the podcast
Luke: Do we not have the booboo booboo booboo booboo?
jfriedman17: I was we're gonna get writer writer shut up
jfriedman17: I think if you bark louder, he'll hear you. Do it. Come on, let's go. We're in the middle of a podcast here.
Luke: Just let him sit.
jfriedman17: Wow, what a way to but way to bounce back into the doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, boo, boo.
Luke: do two two do do do
jfriedman17: the who
Luke: po
jfriedman17: who but bo ah but what Where's Cracker Cat Set? boom
Luke: big you
jfriedman17: And welcome to Headed Whis.
Luke: we
jfriedman17: Wow.
Luke: It's been so long.
jfriedman17: It has been too long, my friend. And to be honest, it's about time that we we're we're back. For all the listeners out there, if you're wondering why we've had such a long hiatus, it's totally not due to the fact that we got busy um and totally due to the fact that we are in the midst of some legally binding conversations that we thought could wait.
jfriedman17: so And so now we're here.
Luke: Mm hmm.
jfriedman17: those those conversations are still being had, but we just said, you know what? Fuck it. It's time. It's time to just, it's time to do it again. You know, just get up and go and do it.
Luke: You just get you get up and go in. You just do it.
jfriedman17: You know, just go and do it. um Yeah.
Luke: just Nice.
jfriedman17: So, so now we're here, um which brings me to the very first part of this podcast. If this episode specifically epi 25, just for everyone out there, uh, we made it. We're a quarter of a, uh,
Luke: We're a quarter of 100.
jfriedman17: right. Is there like a word for that?
Luke: In money, it would be called a quarter.
jfriedman17: It's like cent, sentry. Well, in what cases podcasts would be worth like 25 cents if every episode was a penny.
Luke: Right, yeah. If I had one penny for every episode we had, then I'd have a quarter.
jfriedman17: No, you'd have 25 pennies, which is a quarter worth of value, but you never.
Luke: And I could, yeah, I could trade it into the bank for a quarter, which I would do.
jfriedman17: Right. You could exchange it for a quarter. There you go.
Luke: Cause I'm not a below denominations.
jfriedman17: Right.
jfriedman17: Right. I'm a consolidator myself. Um, I choose to consolidate most things in life. Uh, My food portions, I like to consolidate those into just one one meal a day.
Luke: One massive meal a day.
jfriedman17: Yeah, it's it's trendy. it's called I think it's called a mukbang.
Luke: muckbong
jfriedman17: I've started doing that. I don't record myself though, but I do just shove my face. I've consolidated my wallet.
jfriedman17: It's very light now. I have no no money in my wallet, no cash.
Luke: Oh, yeah, me too.
jfriedman17: ah And then I've consolidated the size of my penis. So there's a lot of consolidating going on in my life.
Luke: How'd you do that?
Luke: You can just up and consolidate that.
jfriedman17: Bunch of cold showers.
Luke: Oh, and then it gets stuck like that.
jfriedman17: Yeah. Yeah. So it's great. Um, yeah, I wouldn't know.
Luke: Good to know. Do warm showers do the opposite?
jfriedman17: I haven't taken a warm shower in like 320 days. Cause I've started, I've started.
Luke: Have you taken aged hours?
jfriedman17: So I've started, uh, next question. Um,
jfriedman17: Oh, what i was getting what I was getting to originally. Apologies. um comes I was going to do our first ad read of of this podcast, if that's all right with you.
Luke: oh of course you um if you can before you do that you might want to consider turning off the whatever the adaptive thing is on your
jfriedman17: I can't do that. I can't do that on on on the on the windows.
Luke: Okay. Well, yeah.
jfriedman17: You know what I'm saying?
Luke: You're just occasionally getting pretty quiet and then pretty loud.
jfriedman17: Sure. Sure. Absolutely. But the podcast should be able to, the software we you should be able to, uh, figure that out.
Luke: They can do that?
jfriedman17: But who knows? Yeah, it does. It it usually does.
Luke: Okay. Well, please continue then.
jfriedman17: This podcast is not yet sponsored by laws whiskey. Ralphie's Reserve has now hit the shelves. Go and grab your La's Whiskey and drink it. I myself, this episode, am drinking a Ralphie's and Coke. That's our weekly mix. And that's your weekly Ralphie's remix brought to you in part by, but not yet, La's Whiskey.
Luke: But soon, big announcement on the way.
jfriedman17: but
jfriedman17: Hopefully. Um, we have not done a episode since our episode with Mr. Laws himself.
Luke: Mm -hmm, that's correct, yes.
jfriedman17: I'd like to do a quick shout out to Mr. Laws. Um, shout out you.
Luke: Shout out, Moz.
jfriedman17: We really good having you were enjoyed having you. having you, uh, on the pod to discuss very important issues, um, and the current economic, socio, political status of the world.
jfriedman17: And, um, it was, it was really just, it was a ton of fun. We'd love to have you back whenever you'd like to come back on.
Luke: Right. Exactly. We rough you out.
jfriedman17: He definitely, we thank you. aron He definitely is not listening to this episode, but that's, beyond that's okay.
Luke: Probably not, but, but we know that a few of the other laws will.
jfriedman17: That's right. Absolutely.
Luke: Right. So, um,
jfriedman17: Right.
Luke: huge announcement. The the the the loyal um weast infections will be just delighted to hear what we got in store, but it's going to have to wait until the could the legally contractual bindings take place.
jfriedman17: I am sitting on eggshells. Absolutely just ecstatic. I am but excited. And I am ecstatic.
Luke: exuberant Exuberant?
jfriedman17: Exuberant.
Luke: Right. Nice.
jfriedman17: This is gonna bug me, dude.
Luke: What?
jfriedman17: this whole ah This whole fucking headphones thing.
Luke: Is it fucking you up on your end?
jfriedman17: Oh, I know what it is.
Luke: What?
jfriedman17: Oh my God, dude, we're gonna have to restart.
Luke: Why?
jfriedman17: It has the input as the computer audio. So like this should be way ah louder than this back here, if I'm just talking.
Luke: Yeah, are you moving away from your mic or something?
jfriedman17: That's exactly what it is.
Luke: Oh, it's picking it up. Yeah, yeah.
jfriedman17: shall be
Luke: I don't think there's a way to use the bear pods mic though, because I've tried that so many times.
jfriedman17: So do we just paddle it out?
Luke: I think we continue. I think we chug, we chug on.
jfriedman17: Speaking of chugging on, I'm about to just pound this Ralphie's and Coke.
Luke: Yum.
jfriedman17: My favorite drink to drink ever.
Luke: Red rallies.
jfriedman17: It's good. Yum.
Luke: Exactly.
jfriedman17: Yeah, so.
Luke: hello Each week, we're going to have a beautiful surprise, too, in regard to that. but
jfriedman17: Maybe, but we have to sit on this announcement because we can't we can't jump to any conclusions.
Luke: Right. um and So we'll get off of that topic, but you know, um, we rev rods and, uh, anyway, I haven't spoken to you in a while, Jack.
jfriedman17: It sure has been a minute or two.
Luke: It's, it's been too long. How are you? What's going on?
jfriedman17: Oh, you know, I'm just doing the usual.
jfriedman17: Working, sleeping. Ooh, I joined a kickball league.
Luke: Oh?
jfriedman17: Yeah, but that's over now and I'm probably never gonna do it again.
Luke: Why?
jfriedman17: Hmm, hmm. I don't know, why would I?
Luke: Was it fun?
jfriedman17: It was fun, but we lost.
Luke: Oh, okay, that's fair.
jfriedman17: Yeah. Yeah.
Luke: Speaking of losing, Every sports team, including my own fantasy teams, that I know and love, are, um, how can I put this delicately? Putting a trash bag over my head, table topping me, and fucking me in the ass.
jfriedman17: I did not know you were such a big fan of Bill Cosby.
jfriedman17: or and
Luke: He's my idol. How did you not know that?
jfriedman17: um
Luke: I haven't posted.
jfriedman17: shan sean watson who else um
Luke: Oh, how is this so hard to think of right now?
jfriedman17: ah
Luke: Kevin Spacey?
jfriedman17: okay well he just didled kids ah p did He's in the news. um Michael Jackson.
Luke: Did he did old kids? He also did old kids.
jfriedman17: Diddy diddled dozens.
Luke: of, yeah, yep.
jfriedman17: of kid of Children, yeah. That's a personification that's also a super sad sentence. um Yeah, I have a feeling Diddy will get a super sad sentence.
Luke: Yes. Person.
jfriedman17: Ooh, that's a double entendre.
Luke: What does that mean?
jfriedman17: That means there's a sentence that means two things at once.
Luke: Ooh.
jfriedman17: It could be taken two ways. Cause like I said, Diddy's could get a super sad sentence in terms of like his sentence hearing it like, like illegally.
jfriedman17: And then also super sad sentence. Like it's just a sad sentence literally.
Luke: Yeah, i I see that now, but I did need your explanation. I didn't get it otherwise.
jfriedman17: i know Yeah, I know you did, but that's alright.
Luke: We're we're quick on our toes here, you know?
jfriedman17: Yeah, you know, I try my best, you know, every now and then. I do what I can, right?
Luke: um So I got a question for you.
jfriedman17: Okay.
Luke: Did you prepare a segment today?
jfriedman17: Of course I did. Who do you think I am?
Luke: OK, good. Just checking. Just double checking.
jfriedman17: Mm -hmm. Did you prepare a segment today?
Luke: Just wanted to, of course, Jack. I mean, have I ever not? Have I ever let you down before?
jfriedman17: Yes. A few times.
Luke: Name one single time.
jfriedman17: um Any episode where you did not prepare a segment?
Luke: No, I need specifics. I need episode numbers or titles.
jfriedman17: a Episode 15 through 20.
Luke: No shot. I was on my game.
jfriedman17: Okay. Anyway, uh, do you want to go first or second today?
Luke: um
Luke: i will How about I go second? I usually go first. I'll go second today. I'll see to you.
jfriedman17: You let me go, uh, first?
Luke: Yeah.
jfriedman17: Okay. Um.
Luke: Before we start, can I just share something with you that you probably don't care about?
jfriedman17: You may. Okay.
Luke: I got sunburned this weekend on my chest. I was wearing a jersey with no shirt underneath.
Luke: So it, you know how it like the, the neck on jerseys are real low.
jfriedman17: ye Yep. Yep.
Luke: I got sunburnt right there on my chest, but I was also wearing a chain.
jfriedman17: ah
Luke: And so there's just a line of white on my chest, sandwiched between just bright red. And it looks like I'm permanently wearing a necklace, even even when I'm not.
Luke: And it's just a look and it hurts. And I wanted you to know that.
jfriedman17: I am so sorry.
Luke: It's okay. I think honestly, it's fashionable. I think I can bring this, uh, I can make it trendy. Cause you know how I can make anything trendy.
jfriedman17: ah
jfriedman17: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I, I really, I really feel like you are one who gets sunburns a lot. So you're very, um, how do I say this?
Luke: Right.
jfriedman17: You're very, you're the person who could do it best.
Luke: Exactly. Yeah, I have the experience. My resume is iss just star -studded, you could say.
jfriedman17: Right.
Luke: ah ah A sun -studded.
jfriedman17: um I don't know if I like that.
Luke: But because it's a star, you know?
jfriedman17: No, I get it. I'm just not sure I enjoy it.
Luke: I need to all work on the pun. Anyway, please go ahead.
jfriedman17: ah Okay, okay Anyway Well, you know It's a classic I forgot what we titled this this segment because it's been so long um But this is a list of people who deserve more attention than they get I ah and and deserve recognition because they don't get enough on a day to day.
Luke: Nice.
jfriedman17: Brought to you by FedEx. We just, oh no, not FedEx. It's UPS. We just unveiled the most disgusting new fleet of vehicles in the entire world ever.
jfriedman17: you yeah Was it UPS? Yeah, it was.
Luke: Did they?
jfriedman17: Dude, yeah, you should Google new UPS fleet. It's like, it's, it's horrible. Anyway, um, we are going to start off our list, shall we? Um, coming in, uh, first at number one, we're going to go with the people who designed iOS 18 because brand new breaking news, iOS 18 is out. Um, it is terrific. I love every second of it. It's the first time.
jfriedman17: I've downloaded new software and been like, all right, this is sweet.
Luke: I gotta do that. i It's gonna do it tonight while I sleep.
jfriedman17: Ooh, that's cool.
Luke: And I'll wake up and I'll be confused.
jfriedman17: That's right, you'll be very confused. ah Second, I would like to thank all of the people on Bumble and Hinge who swipe left on me because They know I'm too busy to deal with a relationship anyway.
Luke: ah kid That's right, they're thinking of you.
jfriedman17: Right, they're being very thoughtful. I appreciate it. um Moving on, I'd like to thank anyone who does not develop EA sports games because those developers just push out the same game year after year.
Luke: Mm hmm.
jfriedman17: um Next, I'd like to thank and'd like to thank the NFL for starting up again.
Luke: That's true. That's true.
jfriedman17: My life was miserable for so long. um And now that the NFL is back, it's still miserable, but I just have football to watch.
Luke: I mean,
Luke: That's true, that's true. But also, doesn't some of that football make you really unhappy?
jfriedman17: yep
Luke: Like, extraordinarily unhappy, what you could say.
jfriedman17: yep
Luke: Yep.
jfriedman17: Yep, like like to the point where maybe you're considering things that shouldn't be done ever or mentioned on a podcast.
Luke: Right, yeah.
jfriedman17: um
jfriedman17: Moving on. um I actually would like to shout out this Hawk Tua girl. You know her?
Luke: Yeah, ah do I do.
jfriedman17: she just started She just started her podcast.
Luke: I've seen what the ones are twice.
jfriedman17: She's a direct competitor. Um, but I do want to shout her out because she gets a ton of hate, but I don't think she deserves it. I think, uh, I think she's just trying to, you know, make a name for herself and make a brand for herself.
jfriedman17: I think she's working hard and taking this opportunity and really grabbing it by the testicles.
Luke: Right.
jfriedman17: Um, and she's pretty hot.
Luke: Yeah.
jfriedman17: So I just wanted to shout her out.
Luke: feels She sounds, her her accent is very, it's very cute.
jfriedman17: Cute.
Luke: Yeah, the little southern accent, you know?
jfriedman17: I like, I like a Southern accent, but yeah, but I think I'd only like it for like a few days.
Luke: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Luke: I don't know, I don't know, it sounds it sounds so like, just rolls off the tongue, you know?
jfriedman17: Sure. It's just a thought I had. I mean, everyone's entitled to their own opinion, but if you want to be like that, that's fine.
Luke: That's true. it's I think people don't like her because she got famous for making a blowjob joke and ah people still have to go work their nine to five, you know.
jfriedman17: I agree and I think that the only reason they're mad is because they're jealous, you know?
Luke: Exactly. I'm jealous.
jfriedman17: Yeah.
Luke: could be Quite frankly, I am very jealous.
jfriedman17: I'm one of the most jealous people in this entire country.
Luke: um America has never seen someone more jealous than me. I am the most jealous.
jfriedman17: Arguably the most jealous in the world. You could put me up next to anyone who you'd think is jealous and they wouldn't even look jealous at all.
Luke: not Not even a little bit.
jfriedman17: Standing up there next to us here on Headed Wiest.
jfriedman17: Great podcast, by the way. Terrific podcast.
Luke: An American podcast.
jfriedman17: Very informative, very knowledgeable gentleman who run that podcast. I think I might add one of them to my cabinet. Maybe both.
Luke: Probably both. I think they both have a level level head on them and
jfriedman17: Very level, very, very masculine head on them.
Luke: and
jfriedman17: Very, very American.
Luke: Very American.
jfriedman17: Not to, we but we did but we're not, this isn't a political podcast.
Luke: no It's not political to be American.
jfriedman17: um
jfriedman17: I'd also like to recognize that I think our biggest competitor in said market has as fallen. They're, they're gone.
Luke: In the American market.
jfriedman17: I don't know if you've, yeah, I don't know if you've heard, but headed, not headed. Oh my God.
Luke: Not headed week.
jfriedman17: Wet jeans. Wet jeans is separated.
Luke: Oh, I did.
jfriedman17: They've split.
Luke: I did. Do you know the reason?
jfriedman17: Nope.
Luke: I don't either.
jfriedman17: RIP. We're going to go comment on all of their Instagram posts with our link.
Luke: Yeah, come listen to us. We're we're bigger and better.
jfriedman17: We are a Walmart version of these guys, but it's entertainment nonetheless.
Luke: No, they're a Walmart version of us.
jfriedman17: I don't know, man.
Luke: they They are, they are, um, Wama and we were Whole Foods.
jfriedman17: Very, very. Oh, so we're just organic.
Luke: We're, we're, we're trendy. We're in big cities. We're healthy and organic and we're very expensive.
jfriedman17: We have less and we, and we have less drug deals happen in our parking lots.
Luke: Right, and and significantly less stabbings.
jfriedman17: Right. And also less cigarettes, I would say.
Luke: Less cigarettes, less drugs, less violence, less home, home ah less, um yeah.
jfriedman17: Oh, nice. Good one. um unless ah McDonald's inside of our store.
Luke: Less connected McDonald's, that's correct, and connected subways.
jfriedman17: Dude, I think Pizza Hut's in there too.
Luke: No way.
jfriedman17: Oh no, Pizza Hut's inside of Target's, my bad.
Luke: Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yep.
jfriedman17: That's that's where the Pizza Hut's are.
Luke: But those aren't true pizza huts. Those are like, you know, when you go to a a stadium and they have the little pizzas there from like little Caesars or something and it's, it's like even a crappier version of a crappy pizza.
jfriedman17: Yeah.
Luke: That's what's in the targets.
jfriedman17: It's like when you go to the airport and you go into the bathroom to take a piss. And when you look above the urinal, there's just a Sbarro's pizza right there and they're asking you what kind of pizza you want.
Luke: Right. Yes. Can you imagine urinal pizza?
jfriedman17: Yeah.
Luke: I would eat the hell out of that.
jfriedman17: There's just no shame in it. It's gotta be decent. You know, like they're just there serving pizza at urinals, right? So you have to imagine, oh, you have to imagine that, you know, they know it's bad, but there's demand for it.
Luke: Yeah.
jfriedman17: And they're just filling that market demand.
Luke: A hundred percent. Are they making eye contact with me while I'm peeing too?
jfriedman17: Uh, it's like one of those prison door kind of shade things. Like you can close it and open it if you want, but you can always talk through it.
Luke: I got, yeah, okay, yep. Dude, wait.
jfriedman17: It's just good service.
Luke: Genius idea right now.
jfriedman17: Uh -huh.
Luke: A bar slash, um,
jfriedman17: Okay.
Luke: slash food place, but they definitely serve alcohol.
jfriedman17: Okay.
Luke: And when you sit at the bar, you're you're in your own little stall, the walls are blocked off, and right off in front of the of your seat is a trough, a urinal trough that runs the length of the bar.
Luke: so you can sit there and it's private enough that you can just pee whenever you want right there. Don't even have to leave your seat. You can just piss um and be drinking and eating at the same time. You never have to get up.
jfriedman17: They definitely have that at gay bars.
Luke: Why's it gotta to be gay?
jfriedman17: i'm not Hey, hey man, I don't know any woman who can piss forward. Just saying.
Luke: Okay, there's an adapter. No, no, no, no. Here's what it is. Here's what it is. The seat, um it's like it has a hole in the middle so that women can just pee into that. You're you're so you're sitting on a toilet, basically. And um
jfriedman17: Keep going, please.
Luke: If you pee into that, then it's like a little water slide that shoots right into the trough.
Luke: You know, I would love to go to a bar like this.
jfriedman17: this is hey This is a terrible idea. Do you think people are gonna wanna eat where they're pissing? No.
Luke: Well, it's not great food, but you're primarily there for the alcohol. Or what if it is great food? What if it's like Michelin star food?
jfriedman17: I wouldn't want to eat Michelin star food when I'm pissing.
Luke: Pea is sterile.
jfriedman17: This is a terrible idea, but I love the fact that you really ran with it. Good for you.
Luke: I like this idea.
jfriedman17: Keep, can you keep explaining this idea for like another, I don't know, two minutes? Cause I need to go make another Ralphie's reserve and Coke, a cola brought to you by not yet.
jfriedman17: but not yet brought to you by laws, whiskey, Ralphie's reserve. Yeah, it's good.
Luke: Wait, is that the end of your segment too, or do you have more more people to appreciate?
jfriedman17: No, I have, I have a few more to appreciate. I have three more on my list, but for now I'd like it. If you could entertain just for a second.
Luke: Of course, of course. I can entertain. I'm not nervous at all.
jfriedman17: Thank you. Yeah, no, you got it, man. I believe.
Luke: Don't worry.
jfriedman17: I believe in you.
Luke: Okay. So let me continue on the idea. I'm going to flesh out some of the um maybe like unsanitary bits here.
Luke: There's a boy. There's a, when you're seated there, um if you've ever seen one of those treadmills where you're recovering from an injury and you're like,
Luke: it it like supports you up, you know, and you're, um, it's like a little dress around your waist. Um, while you're on the treadmill, you know, it's like, did you already make your drink?
jfriedman17: I have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah.
Luke: That was so quick. You know, the treadmills that you run on when you recover from an injury and there's like the little thingy around your waist and it like, it makes it like less impact.
jfriedman17: No, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Luke: one of those around right at your waist so that the whole urinal trough area is separate from your upper half of your body.
Luke: So you can eat and drink without smelling anything gross or getting dirty. ah And yeah, I think.
jfriedman17: Yeah, I have a better idea.
Luke: Mm hmm.
jfriedman17: A bar where, upon entry, you get...
jfriedman17: Upon entry, you get a catheter put in.
jfriedman17: And then well everyone in the bar is walking around with pee bags.
Luke: They're all connected to the central, but to the main drain.
jfriedman17: you don't need to be There doesn't need to be a main drain. You just don't have to pee ever.
Luke: Well, where's the catheter hooked up?
jfriedman17: So that way there's more time spent. And so he goes into a bag that you dispose of at the end of the night.
Luke: So you're bringing around a piss bag with you?
jfriedman17: That way.
jfriedman17: Sure.
Luke: That, I don't know.
jfriedman17: But that way there's less time spent at the bathroom. Your water bill is lower. And also there's more time spent at the bar, which means more drinks purchased and everyone there is having a good time.
jfriedman17: Cause everyone knows that they got a piss bag attached to it.
Luke: I think all the catheters should be hooked up to a main drain.
jfriedman17: So then you can just see who's like peeing.
Luke: Well, I mean, it's not, you would see who's peeing with a ah bag too, because the bag would be filling up.
jfriedman17: Cause like you can see it.
jfriedman17: The bag would be hidden. well It could be like inside your, you could have, we could make custom bags that the bags go inside so no one knows.
Luke: I think you want to see if somebody's peeing.
jfriedman17: That'd be so funny. You're like in the middle of a pickup line and like someone starts pissing.
jfriedman17: You're like, hey, hey, do I make you nervous?
Luke: Honestly I think I think it was a great idea.
jfriedman17: Cause you're kind of peeing right now.
jfriedman17: Hey, are you from Italy? Cause you're a peeing right now.
Luke: Oh Nice You would yep and think about this if you're all hooked up to one main drain then I
jfriedman17: Bang. Yes. Come on. Throw me in a catheter bar. I'd be sick.
Luke: You got to make sure the tubes don't get crossed or maybe somebody's catheter might get just randomly pulled out. You know, I hear that's a pretty painful process.
jfriedman17: Oh yeah, dude, I know what you're saying. I've been to a bar once and I left and my tubes were tied. And then I had to go and untie them. It is, it's it's super painful, it's tough.
Luke: Good. You know, good for you getting through that, pushing through.
Luke: um Anyway No, please go ahead
jfriedman17: um I have three people left on my on my appreciation ah segment. um Should I go ahead or are you going to pitch another business?
jfriedman17: Okay. Well, it's funny that this all worked out this way, but the next person on my list was someone who really doesn't get appreciated ever. um And they really deserve all the recognition that they could get because You know, they're just, they're just, we're out there working hard. They're a little bit stupid sometimes and have been on this podcast a lot. Um, so I'd really, God, he's just so dumb though. It's tough to even just say it out loud. Um, I'd really love to give recognition to my co -host,
jfriedman17: and just say, hey, thanks thanks for, thanks for, did you see that coming?
Luke: I, you know, about halfway through, I was like, there's a hundred percent me.
jfriedman17: she You thought it was pugil or something, didn't you?
Luke: I thought it was going to be like Fogle, or maybe you were just thrown a cheap shot at Wub, but then I was like, he's not thrown a cheap shot at Wub. And Fogle's not on that often to get, he didn't fit it well enough.
jfriedman17: Yeah, yeah.
Luke: I mean, thank you, but.
jfriedman17: m
Luke: What the fuck?
jfriedman17: And the next person I want to appreciate who doesn't who doesn't get enough recognition, I would say, um is, and this is not to be political, this is this would apply to anyone, ah is the man who's
jfriedman17: almost been assassinated twice now. This is not a political thing. I just think it's great. He's out there just living his life still, even after he's been shot at twice. I would be in a bunker.
Luke: No, that's actually like, that's so true. I was thinking about that yesterday. I was like, this man has been shot at twice and he's still just not afraid.
jfriedman17: He's like Eminem.
Luke: Yeah.
jfriedman17: Because he's so not afraid.
Luke: i Yeah. Nice. And featuring Rihanna.
jfriedman17: Thanks.
jfriedman17: I don't think she was in that one.
Luke: Hmm, you're probably right.
jfriedman17: Was she? I'm not afraid. No, she was in Monster.
Luke: there Here's some monsters. Yep, yep.
jfriedman17: Yeah, that's the same album, I think.
jfriedman17: um
Luke: Genuinely crazy though, that he's not, it's just whatever, you know? If I got shot at twice, I don't think I'd leave the house.
jfriedman17: Yeah, I don't think I'd leave the house either, but this is not a political thing. This is just from a perspective of, uh, almost being killed twice.
Luke: Mm hmm. Yes, right. Let's do.
jfriedman17: Thank you. And finally, I would like, okay, this one's a bit of a longer appreciation just because there's so much irony in the situation. Um, but it's the most recent match I have on Bumble.
jfriedman17: Um, I had a little conversation and I'll, I'll read it aloud for everyone involved.
Luke: Oh, please.
jfriedman17: Uh, it's quite comical, I might say. So in this person's bio, they said that, uh, they have a very dark sense of humor.
Luke: Mmhmm.
jfriedman17: So I said, I was like, okay, great. Let's hear your darkest joke. that's that was the That was the opening like kicker, right?
Luke: Yeah.
jfriedman17: And the response is, and I quote, with dark humor, it has two way time and place kind of joke. Don't know what that means.
Luke: Holy shit.
jfriedman17: Tough start, right?
Luke: Mmhmm.
jfriedman17: Then it goes, but like I have a chicken shooting me in the back of the head tattoo. because my brother -in -law shot himself in my driveway.
Luke: Oh my...
jfriedman17: And i said I said, oh, that answered my next question, LOL. And she said, what's the second question? And I said, has anyone shot yourself shot themselves in your driveway? And then she didn't respond. But like, that's good.
jfriedman17: That's good, dark humor.
Luke: that... That's really... I am taken aback by this interaction. I mean, you responded hilariously.
jfriedman17: I thought it was great, but she didn't respond, so that sucked.
Luke: I can't, you know, I can't blame her for not responding.
jfriedman17: Yeah.
Luke: What a can I ask it? Is she what? Where's she from?
jfriedman17: Colorado Springs.
Luke: Oh, so that explains the grammar.
jfriedman17: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, sorry. From, hold on, let me see. It says it somewhere. ah From, from Pinehurst, Texas.
Luke: Um I'm gonna yeah something tells me maybe very southern texas Okay now i oh me
jfriedman17: we You should look up where that is.
jfriedman17: I'm looking right now. Oh, it's right outside of Houston. Which is southern. it's pretty and That's pretty southern, you're right.
Luke: I was thinking maybe, uh, I don't need to say that. Um, hmm. Maybe she's from the buskios.
jfriedman17: I have no idea what that means.
Luke: I think she's from the buskios. Uh, you never seen, um, you ever see that show on discovery of the people in deep Louisiana that it would hunt alligators?
jfriedman17: Yeah, probably.
jfriedman17: Rocket out, hunters.
Luke: ah Probably ah They're in and they're in the thick of Louisiana swamps and they just one either alligators or crocodiles But they you can't understand the word they say and they're that's the buskios Yeah
jfriedman17: Wait, explain the plot line again to me.
jfriedman17: Ah.
jfriedman17: ah kind of ah countess That kind of sounds like the show Crocodile Hunters.
jfriedman17: Kind of.
Luke: Let me, let me look, you might be right. Uh, you know, crocodile hunters TV.
jfriedman17: I i can't quite put my finger on it, but it does sound like it.
Luke: No, that crocodile hunter is, um, Steve Irwin.
jfriedman17: Oh, is it actually?
Luke: Yeah.
jfriedman17: Oh, he's the crocodile hunter, isn't he?
Luke: Yeah, he's like the... yep.
jfriedman17: I was thinking of the show... It was probably Alligator Hunters.
Luke: I don't think it was.
jfriedman17: Oh, you don't?
Luke: No. Anyway.
jfriedman17: Is yeah is it called Down by the Bayou?
Luke: No.
jfriedman17: Is it called, I'm from Louisiana and I hunt crocodilian.
Luke: Oh, that's what it is, yeah.
jfriedman17: Yeah, I saw that on Netflix, but I couldn't really get into it.
Luke: Oh, it's called Swamp People.
jfriedman17: Oh yeah, I know swamp people.
Luke: Alright.
jfriedman17: i
Luke: I think she's from there.
jfriedman17: She's from Swamp People.
Luke: Yeah, judging by ah how she sounded.
jfriedman17: Yeah, I think so too. um Yeah, that was the last person I had. I just thought it was interesting how like, you know, she claimed to have like this dark sense of humor and I got as bad as dark as can get and she just didn't, she didn't bite, so.
Luke: I think you were too dark. I don't think she ever witnessed that, that sense of dark humor.
jfriedman17: Yeah, who knows? um Let's move on.
Luke: ah Okay.
jfriedman17: Wait, wait, wait.
Luke: Oh,
jfriedman17: Oh, you know what that means. That means it's time for our next segment of the day, brought to you in part by...
Luke: oh is this me?
jfriedman17: It's your fucking segment.
Luke: Brought to you in part by Clorox. What can you put in your kid?
jfriedman17: What can you hide from the police?
Luke: Ooh, nice. That was a good one. um
jfriedman17: what can you What can you do to make a company bilingual?
Luke: Dissolved.
Luke: i I'm not sure I understand that one.
jfriedman17: That's all right.
Luke: Okay, am I stupid?
Luke: I'm a dude stupid to make up my own mind.
jfriedman17: Wait, what's that from?
Luke: It's from family guy.
jfriedman17: That's right.
Luke: Um, this is this Luke loves list by brought to you by rocks.
jfriedman17: All right, go ahead. Luke loves loves lists.
Luke: Luke likes, he loves lists more than probably a human person should, one would say.
jfriedman17: I agree.
Luke: Anyway, ah today, since since Jack and I are raw dog in this pod, I don't think it makes sense to do a blind raking with just Jack.
Luke: So we're gonna go straight into the draft.
jfriedman17: Dude, I'll draft such a good team.
Luke: You you fucking wish here's the thing since it's just us and this is a big category We're gonna pick six things. All right This draft today it's it's a big one we're drafting chips There that was that was not the excitement I was hoping for I was hoping for like a
jfriedman17: OK, I like that.
jfriedman17: OK.
jfriedman17: No, I had, I have a lot of thoughts running through my head right now.
Luke: OK, fair.
jfriedman17: That's a good thing.
Luke: OK. And pick a pick ah heads or tails.
jfriedman17: yeah I will pick whatever you don't pick.
Luke: OK, I'm picking tails.
jfriedman17: All right.
Luke: Hey, Siri, flip a coin.
jfriedman17: I'll pick.
Luke: Heads.
jfriedman17: All right. I'll go first.
Luke: Yep.
jfriedman17: Oh no, I didn't want to go first.
Luke: and ah
jfriedman17: I won, so I'll defer.
Luke: Okay, I'm for oh god, dude, this is okay um with the first pick of the NFL the ah the the HWP draft Luke selects
jfriedman17: NFL? What?
Luke: Uh, oh shit.
jfriedman17: Time's up, you don't get a pic.
Luke: Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
jfriedman17: Oh, fuck, okay, that's fine. I would definitely, du yeah, do you take Flamin' Hot Cheetos all day? All day.
Luke: Dude, everybody loves Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
jfriedman17: I don't, I don't like Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
Luke: That's cause you don't like spice.
jfriedman17: I love spice, do you know me?
Luke: I know you brother.
jfriedman17: Yeah, I don't think so. It doesn't sound like it. Okay, I'll go.
Luke: All right.
jfriedman17: The second pick with the 1 .2 pick in the HWP chip draft.
jfriedman17: Team Jack is going to draft. Drumroll please.
jfriedman17: Chips Ahoy, bang.
Luke: No. No.
jfriedman17: Yes, absolutely.
Luke: No. That's a cookie.
jfriedman17: You said chips and it's in the name, it's chips.
Luke: That doesn't mean it isn't chip.
jfriedman17: You cannot take this from me.
Luke: I can.
jfriedman17: It says chips in the name, it says chips in the name.
Luke: It's not in the category.
Luke: It's it's not a chip.
jfriedman17: I refuse. I'm not gonna continue with your stupid draft if I can't pick Chips Ahoy.
Luke: It's not a chip.
Luke: Okay, ready? We're gonna ask c Siri if Chips Ahoy is a chip.
jfriedman17: No, that's not it. No, it says Chips in the name.
Luke: That doesn't mean it's a chip.
jfriedman17: It does.
Luke: No.
jfriedman17: It's Chips, dude.
Luke: It's not chips.
jfriedman17: It is.
Luke: No, it's not. You, you can't, you can't like,
jfriedman17: and It's a clever pick, dude. i don't know what I know you're mad because I thought of it and you didn't, but like it is a chip.
Luke: Pick a regular chip.
jfriedman17: I will, but that's the one I wanted to do first. You're out, pick two.
Luke: No, that's not that's not a chip. You can't play fantasy football in drafty yokich.
jfriedman17: That's right, because Yogic isn't a football player.
Luke: Right, and chips ahoy are not a chip. They're a cookie.
jfriedman17: They're a chip. I don't know what you want from me. I'm not changing my mind.
Luke: they're
jfriedman17: This is why we have six spots.
Luke: When you do the VQ.
jfriedman17: I have a creative pick. Sue me.
Luke: No, it's not a creative pick.
jfriedman17: It is. And you're just wasting time right now because honestly, we have many more to get through and only 12 minutes.
Luke: I refuse. I refuse. This is Luke's lists.
jfriedman17: Well then, I know it's Luke's list, but like you can't you you can't do this to me, man.
Luke: Oh, I can do this. it's Luke makes...
jfriedman17: Oh, that's all right. Then we can end the podcast here. It's sweet. That was so fun.
Luke: I fucking hate you.
jfriedman17: but Pick number two.
Luke: No!
jfriedman17: Luke in the chip draft.
Luke: Jack, you can't. this That's the end of it. You can't.
jfriedman17: Okay. If, if you got, if I will, I will, okay. So we'll have two lists. We're going to put a poll on our page. Our chips Ahoya chip will be the first poll. The second poll will be dependent on the first 24 hours of responses.
jfriedman17: If it is a chip, we're gonna continue with my list. If it's not, I'll pick an extra at the end.
Luke: You're going to get so fucked on that. But all right. All right. OK, fine. I'll pick I'll pick my chip. but ah
Luke: It's our cream and cheddar ruffles.
jfriedman17: What?
Luke: It's the fucking cheese ruffles, bro.
jfriedman17: Oh my God, you're disgusting.
Luke: Everybody knows.
jfriedman17: um Okay, great. I'm gonna go with, are you writing these down?
Luke: Yeah.
jfriedman17: Okay, I'm gonna go with the classic ways.
Luke: It's a good pick, but if he could have waited.
Luke: I'm going to go with sour cream and onion lace.
jfriedman17: You're really appealing to a certain audience
Luke: chip
jfriedman17: I'm gonna go with the Miss Vicky's barbecue.
Luke: I'm to take Takis.
jfriedman17: Also appealing to a certain audience.
Luke: what What audience is that Jack?
jfriedman17: I feel like a lot of annoying people like Takis.
Luke: That's racist.
jfriedman17: It's not racist at it all, are you kidding me? What is wrong with you, man?
Luke: Pick your fourth chip.
jfriedman17: I'm thinking. um My fourth chip will be a sour cream and onion Pringle.
Luke: Okay. Okay. Ooh. That just made me think our cream onion Pringle.
jfriedman17: Yeah, didn't it?
Luke: Uh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pick pizza Pringles.
jfriedman17: thank you What? Are you trying to lose?
Luke: Dude, this is, this list is like fucking kicking years out of the water.
Luke: Happy to get this.
jfriedman17: Okay.
jfriedman17: I'm gonna go nacho cheese Doritos.
Luke: I knew you would take those. I'm so okay with that. Those are like the most overrated chips of all time.
jfriedman17: Okay, go ahead.
Luke: Wait, let me, nacho cheese.
jfriedman17: Is this your last pick?
Luke: Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the last pick. Should we do one more? Should we do seven?
jfriedman17: No, six.
Luke: Okay. Cause you can't think.
jfriedman17: No, because you're scared.
Luke: No, not even close, dude. There's just so many more chips. um
jfriedman17: Oh.
Luke: Funyuns.
jfriedman17: If onions are a chip, then chips are why you're a chip.
Luke: That is the most outrageous thing I've ever heard in the world.
jfriedman17: Dude, you've lost your fucking mind.
Luke: Funyuns are absolutely a chip.
jfriedman17: They're not a chip, they're onion rings in bag form.
Luke: No, they're not. You're going to tell me if you go, if you go and order onion rings at a restaurant, they're going to be even remotely similar to Funyuns.
jfriedman17: Hey, I'm not saying I don't like them, I'm not saying I don't like them.
jfriedman17: Dude, there are those blueberry muffins in the bag that you can count as chips then, too.
Luke: You are, you are little,
jfriedman17: What are that what is those? Those aren't Miss Vicky's. Those are... Are those Miss Debbie's?
Luke: debbby used term why don't know But that doesn't, that doesn't fucking matter.
jfriedman17: Little Debbie's. That's what it is. Little Debbie's.
Luke: Funyuns are chips.
jfriedman17: I don't think so, but I'll let you have that, sure. That's why we... So we'll do seven. I... At the bottom, we'll do... and like these clowns.
Luke: No, you're, you're, no.
jfriedman17: Well, then we're gonna stick to six and we're gonna do my original vote because chips are where chips do.
Luke: Sure, not chips, but that's that's cool, whatever.
jfriedman17: Okay, so I've, this is my last pick. Oh boy. Okay. Hmm.
Luke: I'm gonna
jfriedman17: Oh, this is so tough now, cause like anything could really be a chip.
Luke: fucking kill you, dude.
jfriedman17: yeah
jfriedman17: Cause like popcorn isn't chips, right?
Luke: No.
jfriedman17: Oh, that's weird. Cause it's just like fun and right.
Luke: Do you even know what the chips in Chips Ahoy stands for?
jfriedman17: I know what it stands for, but it says chips.
Luke: What does it stand for? What does it stand for?
jfriedman17: Ships, it's supposed to be ships.
Luke: No! Chocolate chips! Chocolate chip cookies!
jfriedman17: and It's chocolate, oh, it's chocolate crisps.
Luke: No!
jfriedman17: Yeah.
Luke: Oh my...
Luke: you You deserve to be fired after this.
jfriedman17: My final pick is going to be
jfriedman17: Oh, dude.
Luke: There's so many good things you could pick still.
jfriedman17: I know, I'm having trouble deciding.
jfriedman17: Just because I like it, I typically don't do these lists because I like it, I do it because the population does. I'm just gonna double down again and I'm gonna go back to the Doritos and I'm gonna go Cool Ranch to hit those sides of that market.
Luke: It's a fair pick. It's a cool range of Doritos. Arguably better than the one with you.
jfriedman17: Oh, don't I need another pick though?
Luke: Your substitute for Chips Ahoy.
jfriedman17: Right. My substitute for Chips Ahoy would be... um um the I think it's...
jfriedman17: i It's either Miss Vicki's or it's Boulder.
jfriedman17: And I said that before for the barbecue, but it's the same brand and I'm just gonna go see Salt and Vinegar.
Luke: Miss Vicky's sea salt and vinegar.
jfriedman17: It's either that or it's like Bolder Chips. I can't remember what it is.
Luke: I think Boulder is just like salt chips. There's definitely Miss Vicky's. What's the bag look like? Mostly blue and then like cream.
jfriedman17: Well, they're both. Okay, so do for the Miss Vicky's, keep it. But for the, oh no, sorry. Do barbecue, hickory barbecue for the Bolder Chips. And then for the,
jfriedman17: Miss Vicki's do sea salt and vinegar Yeah Just do BBQ Sea
Luke: Boulder. Hickory. Barbecue. How do you spell barbeque?
Luke: Yeah, smart.
Luke: And then your substitute is Miss Vicki's.
jfriedman17: salt and vinegar
Luke: Sea salt and vinegar.
jfriedman17: The key is, is we need, okay, but we need, we need the first poll to be up for 24 hours.
Luke: I mean, it won't even matter.
Luke: That's okay.
jfriedman17: So tomorrow at this time, or sorry, tomorrow at 7 p .m. mountain time, we will post the new lists based off of the results of poll one.
Luke: I already know what poll one is going to say.
jfriedman17: You can think what you want, but say, we're the the captioning is we were doing a chip draft. A chips draft and put chips in quotes and then say, is chips Ahoy considered a chip?
Luke: No, I'm not putting chips in quotes.
jfriedman17: Yes or no.
Luke: That makes that makes chips sound like I'm...
jfriedman17: You don't need to put it in quotes then. We're doing a draft on chips, man.
Luke: Yeah.
jfriedman17: And then put, is chips Ahoy considered a chip? And then yes or no. That's it.
Luke: All right.
jfriedman17: Also, we need to post either a story, or we can talk about this later, because we have two minutes left.
Luke: Yeah.
jfriedman17: In other news, since we've last been on ah World War III started, not to get political, World War III started, I think we just got nuked, and I'm building a bunker in my basement.
jfriedman17: Any other updates from you, Luke?
Luke: Where did, where did we get new?
jfriedman17: I'm not posting this for another week, so.
Luke: Oh, predicting. Yeah, smart.
jfriedman17: Nope. Shut the fuck up.
Luke: Nevermind.
jfriedman17: Um.
Luke: Uh, scrub, uh, Jeff scrub from 58 12 to 58 20, uh, 58 25.
jfriedman17: Terrific.
Luke: Um,
Luke: And, uh, I was saying that, uh, fuck.
jfriedman17: but
Luke: I lost my train of thought.
jfriedman17: You have 15 seconds.
Luke: You go.
jfriedman17: No, you have 15 seconds, go. Oh, and then you'll have another 15 after.
Luke: What do I do?
jfriedman17: Oh my God, dude. It's like you've never done this before. Okay, your time's gone.
Luke: I'm crumbling. I'm putting put on his spot.
jfriedman17: You have 15 seconds and a second. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, shut up, shut up. This podcast brought to you not yet, but maybe soon in part by Laws Whiskey. Ralphie's Reserve has now hit the shelves. Grab yourself a bottle of Ralphie's Reserve, brought to you by La's Whiskey. Make yourself a nice mixed cot cocktail with the code HeadedWeast. Use it for 10 % off shipping, which is like two bucks. Sounds good. Ralphie's Reserve Whiskey. Okay, Luke, you have 15 seconds. Go.
Luke: Okay, if you stayed for this long, we want to reward our loyal listeners. So in our next social media posts, comment of nugget and ah you'll get $5 off TGA Fridays.
jfriedman17: Nugget for five dollars off your next TGA for TGI Fridays but post on our story was Regarding the chips post If you listen to this and have a great day. Thank you for listening. I you shouldn't be listening anymore. Bye
