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Jojo Siwa's Lambo
20 Plays7 months ago
Hope you don't get a Weast Infection
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Transcript
Technical Difficulties and Guest Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
All time to see. I apologize. Um, that time I heard my AirPods go boop, boop, boop, you know, when it does the disconnect sound. Okay. I'm about to put
00:00:28
Speaker
my AirPods through my screen with my fist. Where's Cracker Cat? I mean, thankfully, it's only been two takes of an hour apiece. And
00:00:56
Speaker
You do the fucking, do the fucking intro, introduce our guest. I'm not mad at you guys, just got it, Luke. Let's just get this going, come on. All right, this week we have a very special guest that I know the least infections already really hold near and dear to their hearts. It's a lovely guest, one we've had on before.
00:01:26
Speaker
Please welcome web. Thank you. Thank you. There it is. Welcome. Take three. Take three, baby. Pleasure to be here, fellas. Pleasure to be here. Thanks for joining. We're three times as happy to have you.
00:01:51
Speaker
I think, personally, it's a blessing in disguise that we get to three times. It's more quality time. That's how I see it. Yeah, with the boys, with the lovely men.
Debate on Sandwich Definitions
00:02:04
Speaker
Yes. Honestly, guys, I have a bone to pick with the podcast. I'm not going to lie. I have a little bone to pick with the boys. Oh, I know what it is too. What is it?
00:02:17
Speaker
It's about our boycott, isn't it? The boycott? Dude, I told Jack, I told Jack not to do this. This is his fault. Wait, I don't know if that's what he's talking about. No, it's not what I'm talking about. Oh, we're fine. Keep going. Well, I kind of want to know what the boycott is now. No, it's fine. Wait, that means he's not listening to our epis. Dude, I haven't listened to the last one.
00:02:40
Speaker
He's skipping over the ads. I'm skipping the ads. Okay, fair. Yeah, good point. The thing I have a bone to pick with was from probably two episodes prior about the sandwich conversation and what constitutes a sandwich. Yes. And I have to say I almost threw myself through a eight story building window.
00:03:02
Speaker
trying to comprehend your understanding of what a sandwich is. Who was right? Who was more right? Neither. Are you on the eighth floor? Or are you like floor two? I was gonna find a eighth floor. Okay, gotcha. I was I was I was searching around. So what was wrong? Everything was wrong.
00:03:23
Speaker
Because you have to tell us. You guys were trying to throw hot dogs into the sandwich category. You were. Which you are. No, they are not. Hot dogs. They are. I see. I think we got to think with a little bit of nuance. Luke, then you're saying a pizza is a sandwich. Like you sound stupid. No. So you're wrong too. True. You guys are both. I'm against the hot dog thing. Hot dogs are not sandwiches. Hot dogs are hot dogs. Hot dogs are sandwiches.
00:03:52
Speaker
Corn dogs are sandwiches. Hot dogs aren't sandwiches either. Corn dogs are ravioli on a stick. Oh my goodness. What are we doing, fellas? Guys, think about that. Think about that. A gluten layer encapsulating a meat filling. It's a ravioli on a stick. I want to call you a lot of things and
00:04:20
Speaker
Four of them are legal. I'm sorry that your wee minds can't comprehend my genius. So is cereal soup then? Cereal is cold soup. No, it is not. Have you ever had gazpacho? Gazpacho? Gazpacho is not cereal, dude. Yeah, but it's cold soup and that paves the way for cereal to be soup. No. No.
00:04:43
Speaker
Yes. Why is it serious? Because guys, they are all individual of each other. These can all exist on the same ethereal plane. They all don't have to be the same thing. Okay, but to be fair, the transitive property says otherwise. Boom, boom, man. I don't agree with it. I don't know. That's true.
00:05:07
Speaker
I don't agree with it, but it is there. And the libs would be furious. The libs are always furious. Hi, dog. Oh, my dog came to say hi. Hi, dog. Do you want to say something for the podcast? I think Wub convinced me with that one, with his one singular point.
00:05:29
Speaker
There are multiple things that have bread and meat fillings, but it does not mean they all constitute as sandwiches. They can all exist. Like a calzone sandwich. Calzone is a ravioli. Calzone is more of a ravioli than a corn dog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I accept that. I accept it's just kind of like a big ravioli.
00:05:58
Speaker
You comparing ravioli to corn dogs is one of the more wild things I've ever heard. I'm not comparing. I'm saying a corn dog is a subset of a ravioli. I don't think so. That's completely different than you're putting words in my mouth right now. Also, that is a comparison to be fair. No, it's not a comparison. It's relating through family tree lineage, the food pyramid.
00:06:24
Speaker
You said the word relating, which is in turn comparing. Oh, shit. So get fucked. And I'm going to move on to my very brief segment that I've prepared for this podcast. OK. Unless there are more bones to pick or we haven't settled. Have we got all my bones to pick? That's got all my bones. Different subject. No, I think that's all my bones.
00:06:54
Speaker
This bone picking segment is brought to you by DraftKings. I'm just not making my bone.
Road Rage and Driving Etiquette
00:07:01
Speaker
No, it's I can't pick your bone. It's mid segment. I'm doing an ad read. Oh, continue. This bone picking segment is brought to you by DraftKings. Taking people's mortgages since 1999. Nice. Nice.
00:07:20
Speaker
Thanks. We like to have sponsors that truly care about their customer base, you know? Yeah, like people that really want their customers to be using their product. Right, right. Exactly. Okay, can I pick my bone? Yeah. And I want your guys' opinions on this too.
00:07:44
Speaker
So wait, are you going to say something stupid just for controversy or is this a legitimate thing? No, this is this is legitimate. And I actually like I legitimately want to know. I have a question about this. What is the bone being picked with? The bone being picked with is people who are driving slow and under the speed limit, but specifically in in neighborhood streets. I don't think that's the question he was asking, but OK.
00:08:15
Speaker
So what's the bone? I thought we were making a metaphor and you're saying what's a bone being picked with? And I don't know if I thought Luke was going to say like teeth or a toothpick or actually I'm going to pick it with my finger right now. Okay. I do that too. So I'm driving home to I'm driving home. Okay. And
00:08:41
Speaker
to home. I'm driving to home and I'm like five minutes away from home and I need to be home because we have a podcast to film to record and I'm like you know if I go the speed limit I'm getting home on time. Here's the thing the speed limit in this neighborhood is 30 miles an hour
00:09:08
Speaker
Homie in front of me is going 20 miles an hour and I'm pissed. I get road rage. I'm fucking angry Can I honk because here's the thing I'm behind this guy and I turn left to get around him because I don't want to honk and I want to be the bigger man and guess fucking what? another goddamn dude going 10 miles under the speed limit in front of me and
00:09:37
Speaker
I wanted to just crash into the back of his car, you know, just close my eyes, let the pedal touch the metal and go straight through that minivan. Let Jesus take the wheel. Yep. Not a religious podcast, but I agree. Do I honk at this people? I think it's a neighborhood. How close to a school are you?
00:10:02
Speaker
Well, then you're causing danger. Yeah. It's like 7pm. It's 7pm. The school is completely out of session. The kids are gone. And I don't know about you. But when I was a kid, I used to hang out by the school to talk to the local homeless man. So maybe there are kids around that
00:10:29
Speaker
you know, you're just looking out for it or the people in front of you are looking out for and they're slowing you down on purpose because you're driving like a fucking maniac. Dude, all I want to do is go to the speed limit. All I want to do is go to the speed limit. That's it. I am with you now because I think the people in front of you are just fucking idiots and they think that school is still in session at 7 PM and so they're like, oh, school zone. So I, I, uh, I think those signs, those signs that they've,
00:10:58
Speaker
They have time limits, those signs. Yeah. People don't read those. Sometimes it flashes when you need to be slower. Yeah. Were there any lights? I'm personally a big fan. I'm a big fan of flashing. Me too. I do enjoy flash. Sometimes I flash myself just because I've done that. I've done that before and I've just surprised myself a few times like, whoa, did that guy just flash me? And then I remember I'm standing in front of a mirror. Yeah. And then I get sad.
00:11:33
Speaker
Yeah, usually I tend to think that guy has a small member but What he's he's a he's a minority member in the in the in the club, yeah Yeah, yep. Yep. Mm-hmm
00:11:51
Speaker
Anyway, I think you're very reasonable and you're wanting to honk. I think we could finish off that picking. Okay. Okay. I will be honking next time. And especially if I'm not next to a school, I will be honking extra hard. Yeah. That's what we've concluded here. Okay. Great to know. Um,
00:12:13
Speaker
Yeah, I think that was the last. I feel like I had another bone to pick, but I can't remember it now. So if I remember it, we'll have another bone picking sash. But I'm trying to kind of think of something as well, but I'm ready for the segment. Okay. I have a bone to pick. So part of the ad read, um, just to close out the segment. I swear to God, don't do it. This
00:12:40
Speaker
Bone depicts session is not brought to you by that one company we're boycotting. Don't buy their stuff until we tell you to and then buy a lot of it. Okay, that'll do it for that segment. What's next? You honestly went silent for about 10 seconds there in the middle of your ad read. It says on my thing that I was talking the whole time.
00:13:10
Speaker
Can you read, can you? No, I can't actually. Damn, I wish I did the actual read too. That would have been so funny. Anyway, moving on. Are we in a segment here? Can I just like, can we just kind of like gab for a minute? Gab. We can gab. All right, have you guys heard of snake bites, the drink?
00:13:39
Speaker
No. No. It's like a Guinness and a cider and they're mixed. So like, but the Guinness is usually lighter than the cider in like terms of weight. So the Guinness sits on top of the cider and your drink is like yellow on the bottom and then like really dark up top. Oh, are you talking about a snake bite? Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:07
Speaker
Sorry, I thought you said snake bite. That's my bad. I saw a trend. And instead of snake bites, they're doing gonsters, which is replacing the cider with monster energy drink. So it's Guinness and monster, hence the gonster. And the bottom is bright green. And the top is Guinness. And I think we should all try it.
00:14:39
Speaker
I'd be down. Sure. I'm open to it. Yeah. I know what's in, cause what's a homie, you know, I'm in, I'm always in, especially with you. If you give me anything, I'm supposed to mean what I can't be in with my homies. No, you know what you said is fine. Luke said, well, I knew what, cause what's a homie didn't say anything else.
00:15:06
Speaker
Well, you know, I just thought that you might shut my idea down, but what, what is a ride or die for the, for the ideas. What's that a Celsius into it? I'm fucking in. Okay. Next time. Okay. Okay. We got a plan when we have one grocery list and we all got to do it. We all got to get the ingredients and then that's going to be like, that's going to be quite the pod.
00:15:37
Speaker
That would be a ridiculous pod, but I'm 100% out for it. We're getting the least infections excited for the future of the pod here. That would give us a least infection, I would think, but I'm excited to get a least infection with you guys. I've been infected for a while. Should we call that drink the least infection? Not a bad idea. That's a good joke.
00:16:03
Speaker
I think we should. And then what if it becomes trendy and then headed waste takes off? Exactly. I mean, you might have to delete some of the old episodes. Now those are. Yeah, another fun. Cancel me. I dare you. Hey, if anyone's listening this right now, fucking cancel me. I dare you. Go find something. Post it. Cancel me. Do it. You won't find shit. Nothing.
00:16:30
Speaker
There's definitely some stuff in there, but that's a challenge. Go find something. Anything. If you become... Have you ever had a dream?
00:16:58
Speaker
Okay, guys, I'm sorry. I'm trying to focus here. I'm trying to think of my words. I don't do words well. But have you ever thought about, if you became unfriend, if you unfriended one of your really close friends from like growing up, and then you like ran for a position of power later in life, that that friend would have so much fucking dirt on you,
00:17:27
Speaker
They could ruin your career. So if you, the moral of the story is if you had a close friend at any point in your life, you, you better, you better keep them happy. You know, that's a beautiful message. Thank you. That's also what's happening right now. Like cancel culture has gotten so.
00:17:48
Speaker
It's almost outdone itself because now people are posting stuff and they're, look what he said in 2008 and people are like, yeah, it was 2008. I think the reasonable people say, yeah, it was 2008, but the rest of the unreasonable people are still upset. Luke, there is zero unreasonable people that live in the United States of America. That was a good joke. That was a good joke.
00:18:16
Speaker
Sorry, I literally, I was saying that trying so hard not to start laughing in the middle of it. Guys, are we becoming, is this pod becoming of what's cancel culture up to now? We can't be doing that. Oh, no, yeah, we can't be doing that. Headed wheezes above this. Yeah, no, this is a non-political podcast. We're above politics, I think. Exactly. Oh, guys, I know what my bone to pick was.
00:18:43
Speaker
Is it political? If it's political, don't. It's not political. It's not political. It has it has to do with something that happened to me this morning on my way to work.
Near Accident Experience
00:18:52
Speaker
This a.m. Oh, you're in the car with someone driving slow. No, no, that was on my way to home earlier. Oh, OK. So this is my way to work. Oh, yeah. And let me explain this to you because I almost I almost
00:19:12
Speaker
water balloon splattered a woman across the side of the road this morning. What does that even mean? Where'd you get the water? It means I almost hit a woman going 40 miles an hour. Oh, I got through a water balloon at this bitch. Yeah, no, I almost painted the road with a human person. Wait, wait, new idea. New idea carry water balloons in the car.
00:19:40
Speaker
Good idea. Great idea. If you're going to have a water balloon flight, fight. Luke, I don't know if you know this, but water balloons don't typically fly. Unless. No, they do. They're on a plane. Well, I guess, but that's not a flight. It's a brief flight. If it goes from point A to point B in the air. You almost hit someone. What happened?
00:20:06
Speaker
Okay, I'm going through an intersection. I have a green light. I'm going through the intersection, or I'm about to. I'm crossing the plane into the intersection, okay? Uh-huh. On the opposite side of the intersection, there's a line of cars waiting to go left, because they have a green light, but not a green arrow. They got to yield to me while I'm going through.
00:20:31
Speaker
Anyway, I'm crossing the plane of the intersection going 40. A woman gets out of the car from that lane across the road that's waiting to turn left. So in the middle of the road, she gets out of the car, looks at me crossing into the intersection and just starts sprinting across the street in front of me.
00:20:57
Speaker
And I'm going 40, so I slam the brakes. I don't have enough time to stop. I only have enough time to slow down and hope she can get across before I paint the road with her. And thankfully, I lock up my wheels. I am skidding. I'm skidding across the street. You can hear my wheels going, ee, ee, ee, you know? Yeah.
00:21:27
Speaker
Wait, how are they going? You know? And I was an inch away from taking this woman's leg off. Thankfully, she like was able to cover enough of that road with in the time that I was breaking.
00:21:55
Speaker
to where I didn't hit her, but I couldn't stop my car. It was too late to stop. I was going 40. I had 50 feet of room to break. And I have never been so close to killing somebody.
00:22:16
Speaker
And she looked at me, dude. She looked at my face as I'm crossing the intersection and decided to get out of her car and walk across the street. I pissed me off. I think it's a little unnecessary for you to tell everyone what her gender was. That has nothing to do with the story. Yeah, I mean, that could have been a man. It could have been a them.
00:22:46
Speaker
We'll have Jeff go out. We'll have Jeff go back at it. No, because you said it and it was really insensitive of you to do that. Just tell the story. What you don't realize is that I didn't say the gender and you're just assuming now. You said she many times. No. You don't know that.
00:23:15
Speaker
Well, I'm glad you didn't kill somebody. That would have been... Yeah, I'm glad you did not hit that person. Yeah, I was really... That started off my day so poorly. So poorly. No wonder you wanted to honk at these other people in the afternoon. I mean, I would want to do the same thing. Fair. Fair. Yeah. Yeah, completely fair.
00:23:35
Speaker
Guys, I legitimately saw myself killing somebody today. It was so fucked and I screamed at her. I rolled my window down and screamed as I was passing by. It's like, you fucking idiot.
00:23:51
Speaker
Dude, that's warranted. I think that's definitely warranted. As I'm passing, as I'm fully past her, I'm done screaming. I look at the people in the left lane that were behind, and they're just mortified about what it's like. They thought they were witnessing somebody get killed too. Dude, how fast? What BPM do you think you're at?
00:24:19
Speaker
And then and then like the relief you probably felt after you're like, oh my god, I didn't paint the road with this lady. Dude, my BPM was like a fucking 180 right there. My heart is pounding. My I slammed the brakes so hard. My backpack
00:24:38
Speaker
like slammed into the dashboard. My bowling balls behind me, I felt just hit my chair, my seat, like they fucked my seat, my water bottle, my goddamn water bottle broke. Like the lid just doesn't work anymore because it hit the dashboard so hard. Jesus. You probably shouldn't have all those loose items in your car.
00:25:04
Speaker
Yeah. What if the bowling ball, what if, what if you stopped in time and then the bowling ball flew out through the windshield and then took her out that way? That would be good. That's like final destination type shit. Yeah, for sure. Um, also I think that maybe, hi, I'm doing my podcast. Hi, what's going on? Hello. It's mish. Hi. Hi.
00:25:31
Speaker
Wub says hi. I said I'd also said hi. She says hi. Okay, that's good. Jack, you're not gonna tell her website. I cut out again. Yeah, I did. Yeah. Anyway, he's totally lying. She said, fuck
Sponsor Banter and Light-hearted Jokes
00:25:56
Speaker
you, Wub.
00:25:58
Speaker
Well, me and Mish got a bone to pick. Hey. I have a new bone to pick. No. No. You can't pick any bones with Mish, which brings me into my next segment. This is a very good segment. I spent a lot of time preparing for this segment, but it's going to be quite brief. Okay. Okay. This segment is brought to you by Firefly Phones. Is that what those were called?
00:26:28
Speaker
Is that a thing? No, the one that could only call like one number and 911. This podcast brought to you by ladybug phones, keeping child predators out of your daughter's DMS since 1998. Okay. Uh, what I wanted to do in this segment, I have a list of people.
00:26:56
Speaker
that I think don't get enough appreciation. And I'd like to appreciate them. And if you guys have any comments or you agree or disagree, feel free to chime in. I'm just gonna run through my list. Okay, love that. Okay, first up, I have people who push the left button on the water fountains to turn on the water. I feel like that side doesn't get enough love.
00:27:24
Speaker
Wait, wait, sorry. It's the left button of water fountains. Yeah. Cause you know, you have a left, you have a front and you have a right. I feel like the left side don't get enough love. If you back me up here, what if you're, if you think the same thing.
00:27:41
Speaker
If you are using the side of the water fountain to turn it on, I'm squeezing both sides. Otherwise I'm only hitting the front. I was going to say the same thing. I'm more of a double-fist. I'm a double-handed, I'm a two-hander on the water fountain. But if they have that bar that you push down, those usually have the most pure freezing cold resemblance of hose water, water fountains that you could possibly have.
00:28:07
Speaker
That's a good take. I know exactly what you're talking about. That is a wonderful take. I don't know what you're talking about. They're like slightly gray. It's like a thick bar that comes out at the front and you have to push it down. There's little finger imprints on the tops of them. Water fountain with thick bar. I'm Googling it. Yeah. They're a little out of style now because all of them have those fucking water bottle fillers on them. They went away from the thick bar.
00:28:37
Speaker
but those are the goats, those are the OGs. But I do think the left button needs some love, but I am a left button and right button supremacist, I would say. I agree. Left, right. A good side squeeze, both side squeeze. Well, you guys are part of the population I'm talking about, so there we go. No, because we're giving attention to both. I didn't say left button only. I said people who push the left one down.
00:29:07
Speaker
Yeah, we'd fall in that category. Oh, so you're giving us props. Yeah, sure. That counts. If you press the left at any point, even if you're also pressing the right, you've shown it well, then I appreciate you. Thank you, brother. Thank you, brother. Thank you, brother. Second, people who only tip 15%
00:29:36
Speaker
Depends on the dining option if I'm sitting if I if I have to go up in order hot take I'm not tipping Yeah, I'm thinking more along the lines of like maybe a Starbucks Something more simple like that. I went through the drive-thru of Starbucks yesterday
00:29:55
Speaker
And they handed me the fucking credit card reader out the window into my car and said, it's going to ask you a question. The fucking tip. I was like, really, dude, what? Why you want to just ask me how my day is for real? Yeah, I always ask for a tip. They never ask how my tip is doing. Right. Oh, fucking tweet that right now.
00:30:28
Speaker
That's a great tweet. I need more activity on my Twitter page. I only like stuff. That brings me to my next one, is people who like my tweets.
Awkward Gym Encounters
00:30:40
Speaker
That's me. I mean, I like almost every one of Jack's tweets. They're usually pretty fuego, and I like the ones about hockey and sports, you know. The one about Leah Hacksaw the other night was honestly a beauty. It is so good. She's such a terrible girl.
00:30:56
Speaker
So this is, this is like, this is a good banter. So the first period of game one starts and there's like seven minutes left and the ads are already down to zero. And there's like a, we took a penalty. And so there are the other teams on the power play and they chime into Leah Hextall. And she's talking about how Colorado should be very pleased with the start they've had to this series. Um,
00:31:23
Speaker
And it was one of the more wild things I've ever heard in my life. You're down 2-0 to start a series against a team who just played seven games and is tired.
00:31:35
Speaker
And she was like, well, Colorado's got to be pleased with their start here. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah. So she raises us when we're down and then she flames Georgie when he's doing well. This is the only two things she knows how to do. So that's so far. Here's another. Here's another Leah Hextall thing that she did one time. I think it was last year's playoffs, literally this time last year. I think it was the abs playing the crack in first round. They lost last year. I believe games.
00:32:04
Speaker
Yeah, I think it was, actually no, it wasn't that series. It was another series that was a sweep. The other team was up 3-0. And the team that was down in the series was losing the game. And she decided to go, this team really needs to score one here. It's going to be tough to get back in the series.
00:32:23
Speaker
Go on, bitch. No shit. It's ending. If they don't, they're going to challenge you. It's going to be pretty important for them to score here. It's going to be tougher than to get back in a series if they don't win this game. You're like, oh, yeah. She's making six figures to give that analysis on national television. Yes. And she's on every ESPN broadcast. And it's honestly a travesty for the NHL community, I'd say.
00:32:51
Speaker
Dude, all the broad, like the broadcasters for most, most of all the professional sports are just absolute dog shit. This is absolutely an anti Leah Hecht style podcast. She should not be, she should not be commentating on anything really. And that's not, you know, I'm just going to leave it at that. You know, I don't think she's credible enough to be
00:33:21
Speaker
doing what she's doing. Next up. Anyone who is not JoJo Siwa. So like minus one people. So true. Yes. Anyone who's not heard deserves a round of applause. Shout out to you. Next.
00:33:43
Speaker
Wait, wait, let me give a comment about that. Somehow, my social media has just completely avoided all of the JoJo Siwa shit. I haven't seen one singular thing about- Oh, you're a lucky man. Yeah, lucky man. Lucky man. Like, I couldn't tell you what she looks like.
00:34:05
Speaker
You should look her up. Sleep paralysis demon. You'll get mad instantly. Sleep paralysis demon. Just look up her name. All right. Oh. Yeah. There it is. Dude. She looks like the hat man you see after smoking too much weed. Or after taking too much benadress. Like a worse version of Gene Stare- Gene Simmons. Gene Simmons.
00:34:46
Speaker
I mean, that kind of works too, you know? That's a good bent. Okay, we're moving on. Luke, you're going to really appreciate these next two. People that use their blinkers properly. Ooh. I appreciate that. I appreciate it a lot. And I'm feeling like
00:35:09
Speaker
Feel like those anyone who does that doesn't get appreciated enough So because you know why because they're doing the norm It's like what everyone should do but then you get those those douches in like the Ford f-150s who take a right? Yeah BMW's
00:35:26
Speaker
We need to recognize the people who use their blinkers, like Jack is doing. But we also need to unrecognize the people who don't, you know? Right. And we also need to make America great again. Next. Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup. Um, people that don't... Wait, what? Wait, what? Did you hear that, Wub? He just went like... Blah, blah, blah, blah. I heard a blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:35:54
Speaker
Yeah, okay. For me? Yeah, but you're good now. I think you're waffling, as the Brits would say. Blue waffling? I hope not. That's a wheeze infection. Okay. Next up, people that don't park too close to the driver's side door of my car,
00:36:24
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I like that. I like that one. Just people who park good in general, you know? Right. So I can like get out comfortably. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to, I'm going to expose myself here. I do not, I, I kind of just roll my car in and hope to God I can get it out. I do not think about other people when I park my car.
00:36:44
Speaker
Wub. You're one of the worst people on this planet. I know. In terms of that. It's me and JoJo Siwa. Yeah. Did you see that she got a Lamborghini and put her face all over it? It was disgusting. Look up JoJo Siwa Lambo and there's one with her face just all over it.
00:37:08
Speaker
It's the, it's the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. It's honestly, she has too much money and she's too obsessed with it. We're not getting into this. Okay. Nope. That can't be real. It is. Okay. Uh, next up, uh, woman who double snap and double text me. Shout out then. Well, wait a second here, but only from the right women.
00:37:38
Speaker
You know, well, obviously I just didn't want to specify that live on podcast. Fair. Like I'm not going to put woman over a 7.5 to double snap and double text me. Like I can't do that. I mean, I'm not going to do that. Yeah. Um, no, and you shouldn't, you shouldn't. That's right. You were in the right. Hmm.
00:38:05
Speaker
Uh, next woman that don't have mustaches. I haven't, I haven't, I haven't seen many of those to be honest with you. I haven't, I haven't, I haven't either, but I know they exist and I, I feel like that's a little off putting. You should be off putting. I was leading into something like that. Yeah.
00:38:32
Speaker
Yeah. Shout out Jennifer Lawrence. Yep. Yes. Yep. Yep. She's like, add her to the list. Uh, next. Um, can I give a shout out? Who? Yeah. That's, that's your appreciating miss. Yeah. And I'm gonna, I need to mute web really quick. Well, until we get to the next one. What'd I do? Cause cause he has a bone to pick with mish.
00:39:01
Speaker
I leave that off the pod. I will handle that after recording. That's very big of you. I also, I appreciate, I second the mish appreciation. Love it. Okay, two more. Hey, hey, you said you would keep it up. Sorry. I'm sorry. I have two more. I have two more. Athletes that don't mess up my parlays. Yeah. Yeah.
00:39:32
Speaker
That's a good one. And finally, bread. Fucking Yeah, shut up, right? Bread, bread, bread, bread. And this segment has been brought to you by goldfish, the snack that smiles back and appreciates bread, bread, bread, bread.
00:40:00
Speaker
That was a great one, Jack. I gotta give it to you. I like that segment. It's a good segment. Thank you. I try my best to keep this pod rolling. Well, can you give us the rundown on the Drake beef? Because I don't know it. I can do my best. I mean, I've been quite invested. I've been watching a lot of reaction videos.
00:40:27
Speaker
Okay. I understand, uh, Kendrick Lamar's rapping. You're going to know significantly more than me and Jack combined. Okay. Well, that's good. Yeah. Um, so from what I know, it, uh, is apparently
Kendrick Lamar vs. Drake Beef Discussion
00:40:43
Speaker
it's been around. It's been a long standing issue between K dot and Drizzy. Um, I feel like most people in the industry have not really liked Drizzy Drake for a while, according to some sources, someone peeing.
00:40:59
Speaker
I think Jack is peeing. I think Jack's peeing. No one's peeing here. I don't hear that. He's just, he's frying the oil. That's all he's doing. I don't know what you guys are talking about. Drink that you're pouring right now. It's a tall glass.
00:41:24
Speaker
Oh dude, my, my thingy just like stuttered and I thought, I thought I was fucked. I thought the pod just fucked up. That would have been atrocious. Especially another, another hour in. It's like, I don't know if I could do it. Like a fourth or going home. You put it in way too much effort into this pod. Sometimes it's been, we're at two hours and 40 minutes right now and they haven't posted anything. Nothing.
00:41:49
Speaker
But this one's feeling good. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you with that poor drink. No, it's fine. We like the people in the pod to stay hydrated, and so it's good of you to get a drink. Yeah, I just had to get a drink. Understandable. Wait, before you start, can I go grab a drink really quick? Yes.
00:42:17
Speaker
Is gonna I'll be back in like 20 seconds No, okay, so we should uh Oh god, we should uh tell a joke or something. Oh Yeah, do you have any jokes prepared? Um I can look Let me look at my notebook here. So i'm also getting a drink while he does that I mean I just poured one so i'm walking back from right. Yeah seconds and pouring from getting that drink. Um Hello, uh, how do we uh
00:42:47
Speaker
Listeners, the wheeze infections, if you will. I mean, I got a bone to pick with old people in the gym. Oh, shit. Overall, old people in the gym need to go. Oh my God. Yes, that's such a good one. That's such a good one. I don't need to see your full bush.
00:43:07
Speaker
walking around. I'll just tell this story to be honest with you. I was in the gym. I just started going back because I'm a fat ass.
00:43:19
Speaker
And so like, I was like, Ooh, let me get in the gym. So I started going to the gym and, uh, I was, I did my whole, you know, wrote the bike for 30 minutes, you know, did a couple, did a couple of weightlifting exercises, if you will. And yeah, a lot of bike work, you know, I like to stay, you know, fit. Um, and so I was like, you know what, it's time to hit the steam room, hit the steam room for like 10 minutes, sweat out. It was great. I was like, you know what I need to do though? I need to take a shower. I'm on musty. I got to go to school later.
00:43:48
Speaker
Let me get a shower going. And the showers that I have in my gym are like a row, and they all have the normal drapes or the shower curtains. You push the side, you get in, close them. And you're in your own world at that point. And I was locked in, lathering my body in soapy fluids. Ooh. Yeah, get a little bit more into that part. Yeah, so I use Method Man.
00:44:15
Speaker
I hit the upper thighs. I don't really wash my calves. I don't know if anyone does that, but I was washing my upper thighs going up to the mid-body section, rubbing my shoulders down, doing all this stuff. As I was getting my pits all nice and good smelling and rubbing my neck down, an old man opened the shower curtain.
00:44:40
Speaker
Oh God. Well, you lost me. And I was full frontal towards the curtain. And I was soaked up and lathered. And I did not know what to say. I lost all ability to speak a language. And so I went in a very crowded shower room in the gym.
00:45:10
Speaker
And the old man closed the curtain and said, my bad and left. And I stood there for probably 30 seconds contemplating suicide, because I know I don't like looking at myself naked. And so he probably saw, he saw full shaft and balls. Let's just, let's just throw that out there real quick. He saw full shaft, lathered, soaked up. Honestly, almost prime form. If I was hard, it would have been even worse.
00:45:39
Speaker
You weren't hard. I had to fluff it up before I took my panties off before I got to the shower. Yeah, as you do. Yeah. That's just one reason why I think old people should go. I think they should not be allowed in public areas. How recently was this? Are you okay? This was early last month. Oh my God. I think we just need to make a gym for them and them only.
00:46:08
Speaker
And then you can have like a young person, anyone below the age of 65, at least, maybe 60. And then everyone goes there and then you have a 60 plus because they don't need as heavy of weights. They don't, it's a different, there's different demand. And also we don't need to see your scrotum hanging down to your ankles. So just put them somewhere else. Why don't we take them?
00:46:46
Speaker
I also wonder if women have this problem too. Do you think old ladies are just walking around just roast beefed up? 100% or tits at the knees too? Those drink a lot. Do you think they're just doing that too? Absolutely. I think they have boxing matches in the locker room, but instead of putting on gloves, they just use their tits.
00:47:08
Speaker
Whoa. They just like swing their torso? No, they have their hands just underneath their boobs. And they use those as gloves. What channel is that on? It's on the Yocho. Oh, OK, sick. I got to tune into that. Yeah, I think they got a big match tonight. Oh, sick. I got a question. Big Bertha is fighting Betty. How?
00:47:36
Speaker
Yeah, how does it do? No, there's a person in the shower. That's that was I think that was a part of my reaction because Like it was fully on yeah, like you hear that he had to be fucking deaf He was definitely just trying to catch a glimpse of your shlong. He might I think he was
00:47:59
Speaker
probably disappointed. And it took him a while to look away. Did his eyes go south? I think they did. He stayed. And I didn't cover. I was kind of sticking my hands up and I was like, oh. Hands up, don't shoot.
00:48:19
Speaker
Okay, after that happened, did you hear other people going, oh, in the shower? Was he going stall to stall? Because when I got out, all the showers were in use. So I think he was just testing the waters. And I he selected my case. And I got fucked. Visible I got visually fucked. I mean, I felt very violated at the end of that. And I quickly buy my stuff and left.
00:48:43
Speaker
And did you wash off or did you keep the soap on? I don't remember. I kind of blacked out until I got home. That's fair. But yeah, old people need to go. You got to go, man. For you. Yeah, that doesn't sound comfy. No, it was quite violent. If I wasn't as soaped up as I was, I feel like I would have felt a little better about it. But no, it was like I had no idea.
00:49:14
Speaker
No, I don't have a loofah. I was, I was, you know, I was handing it, you know, the gel is rubbing the gel over my body. So it's like, I just went on. The gel doesn't, the gel doesn't lather very well. Without a loofah it doesn't. Yeah. You guys don't get the suds on you? Not at the gym. At the gym showers? Two things. You're not going to get the soap you want. And two, every soap is just going to look like cum. Shampoo looks like cum. I don't know.
00:49:44
Speaker
Looks even more like conditioner. It's a stretch, but it could still become. So there's that too. Fair point. I mean, I brought my own stuff. So I knew what I was getting myself into. Oh, that's nice. I use the bottles that are there. I usually do. They have like a soap dispenser, like a one soap dispenser in each of the cars. So I have no idea what I'm doing over there. That's the thing though, you're at the school gym, right?
00:50:14
Speaker
No, no, no, this is like a, this is like an athletic center away. Our school gym, the roof collapsed because there was so much snow on it and there was a flat roof. And it happened like a couple of years ago. Dude, what the fuck is Montana? I don't know. Shout out flat roofs. Shout out flat roofs. That should have been on the list. Flat roofs are sick. Shout out flat earthers. Maybe not them.
00:50:43
Speaker
We like flat things around here other than one thing in particular. Ladies. Yep. I didn't want to say it. I like my ladies like I like, um, Hmm. I like my ladies. I got like my coffee, a little bit of cream in them.
00:51:12
Speaker
A lot of nice. And fuck. And hot. And hot. Yeah. And hot. Yeah, I like. Yeah. You know, that's tough because I like iced coffee.
00:51:41
Speaker
What the fuck? Oh god. Who has the next segment? Did you explain the Kendrick beef yet or whatever? No, I started it and then I talked about the Jim old guys. I need the beef because I don't know the beef. I'm uncultured in the beef. I can give a quick synopsis. Please. So the song like that?
00:52:09
Speaker
I think it was Future Metro Boomin. It featured Kendrick Lamar and that's when he said, fuck the big three. It's just big me because J Cole made a song earlier saying the big three is Kendrick Drake and himself. And then J Cole dropped a diss track and then he took it off streaming platforms because he's like, no, I don't want to diss Kendrick Lamar basically because I like Kendrick. And everyone called him a bitch for a little bit.
00:52:33
Speaker
and then Drake dropped a district called Push Ups and he also dropped a district that had AI Tupac and AI Snoop Dogg in it. Why AI Snoop Dogg? I don't know. I think because Tupac and Snoop Dogg are like big inspirations for Kendrick Lamar. So he was just being like, I'm going to diss Kendrick with the voice of Tupac and Snoop Dogg and that'll hit him where it hurts.
00:53:02
Speaker
Uh-huh. I think Kendrick dropped one called Euphoria and that song was basically just like, all right, we're in a diss battle right now, but like, don't, don't tell no lies about me. I won't tell no truth about you. Kind of sending a warning shot. And then he dropped another one that was kind of nothing called 616 in LA. And it was just kind of like another warmup, like don't do anything crazy, dude, cause I'll come after you.
00:53:27
Speaker
And then Drake dropped a diss track called Family Matters where he basically said that Kendrick Lamar's kid isn't his, it's one of his friends, and that he beats his wife and talked shit to himself, Rocky, Rick Ross, all that jazz. And then 20 minutes later, Kendrick Lamar dropped the scariest diss track I've ever listened to in my entire life called Meet the Grams.
00:53:52
Speaker
And it was just him talking to, he basically was like, dear Adonis, he was like talking to his kid. He like talked to his Drake's mom. And then he also threw out there that Drake is a pedophile and also he has an 11 year old daughter that he's hiding from the world. And everyone's like, what the fuck is going on? And then,
00:54:18
Speaker
The next day, Kendrick dropped another district called Not Like Us, which is a club banger. And he says shit like certified lover boy, certified pedophile. And and he said, he said, you're trying to strike a court and it's probably a minor. You know, so like tripled down on the whole pedophile angle. And everyone was like, Drake is toasted. Drake just got one. Say that line again.
00:54:48
Speaker
trying to strike a chord and it's probably a minor. Exactly. I think that was the consensus online about that diss track. And then, yeah, and then Drake dropped this one, the diss track back, I kind of ended it, and he was like,
00:55:09
Speaker
Dude, I'm not a pedophile. If I was a pedophile, I would have been caught by now. I'm too famous for that shit. I never had sex with Millie Bobby Brown and you still beat your wife. And everyone's like, dude, Kendrick never said anything about Millie Bobby Brown. What are you talking about? Holy shit. So now Drake is like labeled a pedophile and also he might have a daughter and Kendrick might be his wife and his kids might not be his.
00:55:35
Speaker
And that's where it ended. I've heard it ended because the music groups that support both of them are like, dude, Drake's losing a lot of money because you got him a pedophile. We can't really call a pedophile anymore. And no, they stopped dropping. And then I'm pretty sure Drake's house got shot at, which isn't very cool. I don't like bullets. Most was scary.
00:55:59
Speaker
Uh, but that's the, that's the last I've heard of it. But honestly, Kendrick won like 70 30, I would say, but it was a good, it was a good rap dis and meet the grams is the scariest song I've ever listened to probably. So are the songs actually good or is it just like fun because they're shitting on each other? Um, Kendrick's last one, uh, not like us is a banger. Uh, meet the grams is scary. You can only really listen to it once before never wanting to listen to it again.
00:56:28
Speaker
Drake's were good. Family Matters was good. Push-ups was good by Drake, but Euphoria was good by Kendrick Lamar. Kendrick Lamar is beating him on basically every streaming platform right now. What about Euphoria by Travis Scott? I think that's better than the Euphoria by Kendrick, but he also- What about Euphoria the show? I think that's why he named it that because Drake had that show and it was basically about teenagers fucking each other. I think that's why he named it Euphoria.
00:56:59
Speaker
I see. Smart. That's intelligent. Yeah. I mean, Kendrick did win a Pulitzer Prize. Okay, but Drake's house got shot at, which is kind of crazy. What if this gets bigger than a shooting?
00:57:17
Speaker
I hope it doesn't because Kendrick was in his districts, he was like, I think Drake should die and he should be in a jail cell with Harvey Weinstein for the rest of his life, like that kind of thing. I don't think Adonis would like that very much. No. Well, he talked to the beginning of the song. He literally talks to Adonis. He's like, I'm sorry, he's your father. Your grandfather should have worn a condom. If you don't hear this right now, just listen to it when you're 18 and then come to me, I'll be your mentor type of thing.
00:57:47
Speaker
It's pretty dark. The whole Meet the Gramps was very dark and scary. I didn't know. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot to take in. Yeah, it was a lot. But good songs though. Listen now. You should. They're good. They're good songs. I just hate Drake. I think that's, I think everyone does now. I think everyone's on your, on your side now. I don't really like Drake either. Let's go. Ever listen to his music.
00:58:16
Speaker
Cause it's bad. Yeah. Oh, so you'd like to cut the guy some slack. He was literally tormented by his little sister for like years while he was growing up. Yeah. So was I, but I'm not like touching kids. Yeah. No, that's, that's fair. Um, but still like she did some terrible things to him and his brother. So I was also tormented by my sister.
00:58:46
Speaker
Builds character. It does. It's all the beef. There you go. We have less than a minute left. So if we want to say our goodbyes. We're ending on the Kendrick Drake beef.
00:59:14
Speaker
Yep. And time's ticking. So it's time you get to say goodbye first. Oh man. Well, thank you guys for having me again. I always love being on the pod and I will come back whenever you want to. Hmm. Lovely. Luke. Yeah. Um, we're going to have, um, some waste infections when we have web on next. We'll plan for that. Uh, anyways, we'll catch you on the flippity flip.
00:59:47
Speaker
This podcast was brought to you by Wiest Infections, tormenting the public since 1998. Thanks for tuning in. This has been Headed Wiest, this has been Wob, this has been Luke, and I just can't wait to