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Color Of Night (1994)
78 Plays3 months ago
This week on the Erotic Thriller Club we follow Bruce Willis to sunny Los Angeles for a tale of banging and subpar psychology! This movie pushes the boundaries of gratuitous sex scenes and how dumb you're able to treat an audience. Please join us for an absolute bad movie night classic.
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Transcript
Introduction to The Erotic Thriller Club
00:00:00
Speaker
Ladies, gentlemen, folks beyond the binary, grab your husband, wife, partner, mistress, a subpar psychologist, and gather around your radio. It's time for this week's meeting of The Erotic Thriller Club.
Plot and Reputation of 'Color of Night'
00:01:06
Speaker
It's 1994 and your terrible work as a therapist has caused the suicide of one of your patients and in turn left you color blind. The only thing you can do is jet set to sunny Los Angeles to bang your cares away and leave your worries for another day. You stay with your equally terrible therapist friend who is murdered by one of his patients. Can you put your terrible therapy skills to the test and figure out who done it? This week on the Erotic Thriller Club,
00:01:35
Speaker
color of night. Hey friends, welcome to this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club. As always, Garrett Callender and Kent Ryan here. and this is where we answered the genre's three most important questions was i aroused was i thrilled and would i ruin my life for this person garrett what a banger of an opening this movie has kit It is crazy to me that we can continually find a movie that impresses me beyond what happened the previous week. I didn't know we could reach such joyous heights of insanity, of of absolute bewildering glory. and because not i I was not prepared. I was not prepared.
00:02:23
Speaker
So had you heard of this movie prior to me sending it to you? No. So it tops a lot of bad movie lists. It tops a lot of the worst erotic thrillers lists. It sounds like at the time, like it was a pretty insane movie. I mean, it was nominated for a bunch of Razzies. Understandable.
00:02:49
Speaker
You and I, I'm assuming we both watched the same one, the two-hour cut. That's the producers' cut.
Director's Cut and Notable Cast
00:02:56
Speaker
The director, Richard Rush, got into a fight ah with the producers. He wanted his cut, which I believe is 20 minutes longer or something. And yeah. What are we missing? Oh, Bruce Willis's dong. No, come on! Don't worry, I looked up pictures, I got you.
00:03:15
Speaker
um thank you Papa Gareth's got you, you're not going to miss out on on Bruce Willis's bell piece. and But no, there's like a whole bunch of separate subplots and There's more subplots I can barely keep track. I was taking notes the whole time and I continually, this felt like when I was watching Twin Peaks for the first time and I had to start writing down all the characters and and who they were and how i drew lines so that I would know how they know each other and because it was too too bewildering to follow otherwise I needed a reference sheet. I needed a reference sheet to keep track of everyone.
00:03:58
Speaker
Rest in peace, David Lynch, and I david lynch feel a little bad throwing color of the night in with Lynch movies as far as you happen to take notes. But just to give you a rundown of some of the cast, the cast in this movie, folks,
00:04:15
Speaker
Incredible. It is a who's who of I don't want to say but B level actors, because at the time, some of them were pretty big. You know, obviously, Bruce Willis is the lead. I was not familiar with Jane March, who is the the second lead. Then going through his therapist friend, Scott Bakula. Oh, yeah, we got Bakula. Bakula is in the house. And then the patients, this round circle of patients. Oh, Lordy, Lord.
Actors' TV Show Connections
00:04:46
Speaker
Brad Doreff, Lance Hendrickson, we've got Kevin J O'Connor, who was, I couldn't place him at first, and then I realized, oh my God, he's the guy that pretends to be Daniel Plainview's brother, and there will be blood, that Daniel Plainview ends up killing him and burying him. Because he's like- Wait, which character was this? Clark, or Casey. Casey, that's Benny from The Mummy, thank you very much.
00:05:13
Speaker
Oh, he's got the little fez on? Yeah, he's the little fez. That's what I was thinking of the whole time. ah Shirley Knight, Eric LaSalle from ER r had no lines, um but is in it.
00:05:27
Speaker
I have another one for you. I mean, you may not think of this as being an important reference, but it's important to my heart.
Deep Dive into 'Cop Rock'
00:05:34
Speaker
ah The woman from the beginning, his patient, ah who throws herself dramatically out a window, that is, first of all, pepperan ah but brand Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann, she's too cool for seventh grade, but also- Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann, gone in her mouth, Pepper Ann.
00:05:53
Speaker
um ah Yeah, ah but more importantly, so there was a show that my parents were obsessed with when it briefly aired um called Cop Rock. Hell yeah, Cop Rock. I ah tracked down Cop Rock. I now own it on a very pirated DVD because I love it.
00:06:17
Speaker
and
00:06:19
Speaker
Our heroine here is the woman who sings a song about selling her baby in the first episode. The pilot episode of Cop Rock. This woman is singing a sad lullaby to her baby before selling him. So I do remember watching it. I mean, I was a little kid when it was on.
00:06:45
Speaker
But now that I'm hearing this, I have yet to see Amelia Perez. But it sounds like Cop Rock was ahead of the time on getting awards.
00:06:54
Speaker
Listen, there's so many ah actors that I like primarily love for having been on cop rock. I cannot express to you how perfect of a show it was and how much we as a society did not deserve this show the big that that has people singing about ah burning crosses and ah ah corrupt police officers and ah ah good lord the number of times, this is my Roman Empire, the number of times I think about Cop Rock. And so to see this woman and immediately recognize her was a real treat for me.
00:07:38
Speaker
I had another person in this movie, partway through this movie, ah there's a character named Dale that shows up that is the brother of one of the patients.
Character Analysis and Plot Critique
00:07:47
Speaker
That's Andrew Lowry, who's in one of my all-time favorite comedies. which is There's a comedy from the 90s that maybe came out a year after this movie or the same year even. I don't remember. ah My boyfriend's back.
00:08:01
Speaker
Oh, I haven't seen that. He plays a character named Johnny Dingle, who- Couldn't he? Yeah, he makes a little scheme to ask this girl out to prom, but in ah doing so gets killed and comes back from the dead to go to prom with her. Oh, of course. Young Philip Seymour Hoffman's in this movie. Wow. Young, there's, yeah, there's Young Matthew McConaughey. There's a bunch of people.
00:08:25
Speaker
My boyfriend's back, but let's let's get into this first scene here, Kit. Yeah, there's a lot going on. The whole movie, I said WTF more times per minute than I've ever said watching any movie in my life. I said it twice within the first five minutes. Yeah, I'm right there with you. Yeah, we open with Pepper Ann in the bedroom. He pulls a lipstick out of the coolest lipstick box I've ever seen in my life.
00:08:55
Speaker
right It's a like a little carousel. I don't even want to describe it. You've got to also watch this movie. This is ab like watch this movie. We're not waiting to the end to give a recommendation. Watch this. Watch this movie. So Pepper Ann is putting lipstick on her mouth, her teeth, giving an insane smile. Yeah.
00:09:15
Speaker
pulls a revolver out of her purse and holds it to her head in a way no one has ever held a revolver to kill themself. And I loved this decision for her. And then um she sort of seems to think better about firing it and instead, uh,
00:09:35
Speaker
flates it is the best, yeah, right? Like that's the best way to describe what she's doing with the licking of the gun. Yeah, it's a little, it's a little O-mouth. It is ah a small barrel of the revolver. And to describe to you how she's holding it, because normally, you know, you would maybe to the temple, you'd maybe hold it under your chin, maybe put it in your mouth while holding the gun like a gun. ah This time it's flipped around facing her.
00:10:03
Speaker
Like, barrel of the gun facing her mouth, both thumbs on the trigger. As this was happening, I was like, the kickback on this is gonna be wild.
00:10:14
Speaker
because she's basically not holding it. It might not even kill her. The kickback alone might send the bullet to Gray's part of her head and render her a just kind of useless person. I don't know, but trigger warning, this lady kills herself.
00:10:40
Speaker
The gun is, it is Chekhov's gun that does not get fired. We skip ahead to Bruce Willis's office. He has a lovely office, by the way. On the thousandth floor of a building in New York City.
00:10:54
Speaker
But it's not like it looks like it should be a real based on the building. It should be a sterile modern office. It is not. This movie could have taken place in 1937 based on like the styling of his office. It's very
Symbolism and Surreal Elements
00:11:11
Speaker
classy. It's cozy even. So, you know, we mentioned terrible therapy. her Oh, that's going to come up a lot.
00:11:22
Speaker
You and I, I assume, I assume you have but there. I don't currently, but I have had therapists over the years. I have never one, never had one so aggressively negative.
00:11:36
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And later when he's like blaming himself for the fact that this woman died, I was kind of like, yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah. She came up to your office, told you she was sad, and you're like, there's no such thing as God. Yeah, yeah. People just make up God, you know? People make up God to give themselves something to to so so be mad at.
00:12:05
Speaker
i And I'm like, you think this is this is gonna help? And he's like, yeah, people just make stuff up. And that's probably what you're doing is just making stuff up to be upset about. Why don't you look at yourself in the mirror and take a long hard look at yourself? And she does. And she doesn't like what she see. And she she runs screaming towards the window.
00:12:29
Speaker
This movie is really big into showing us shots of people looking through glass or into meters where we can see two characters at once. they The director loved it. It was his favorite thing. He said, running in towards glass. It is important folks to know in this movie, glass is basically paper. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, other than it will kill you.
00:12:57
Speaker
They're like, it doesn't even serve a purpose in this movie. You can't lean against glass without it breaking. Like, Oh God, no. Yeah. Windows surprised anyone can ever pick up a glass and drink out of it without it just crumbling in their hands.
00:13:13
Speaker
If glass in skyscrapers were this thin in this universe, there would be hundreds of deaths in New York every day while people were on the phone and just forgot how thin it was and put their hand against their window while talking and just fell through. A hundred percent. it Like a bird would slam into that window and then next thing you know, the window is completely gone.
00:13:40
Speaker
But like I said to the thousandth floor, oh this movie has a really hard this movie has a really hard time with height. ah There's a scene at the end of the movie where we end up on like what's looked like a smokestack on top of an average size warehouse. That shit went into the clouds.
00:14:00
Speaker
oh yeah yeah we were like and You are no longer in a building or on top of something, you are getting a view from an airplane or a hot air balloon and once you were anywhere above the third floor of the building. Yeah, she falls forever. ah The director was really proud of the shot he did where the camera was the pavement. Oh, that one. You know what? I'm with him there. It looks really cool that we saw like the blood pooling out from under her from underneath POV. You are the pavement.
00:14:36
Speaker
That being said, the height she fell, she would be liquid. Absolutely. That was the same thought I had. That body's way too intact. She fell from basically a plane. Put it this way. She's going to get an open casket funeral still somehow. Somehow. And she should not.
00:14:55
Speaker
Well, yeah, Bruce Willis, very sad that he essentially talked to this woman off the ledge. That's not what talking off the ledge is supposed to mean, Garrett. Oh, the wrong way. The wrong way. Sorry, like the Mudvane lyrics. Let me help you talk to the wrong way off the ledge.
00:15:15
Speaker
oh
00:15:18
Speaker
And for some reason, he blames himself. I can't imagine why. You have every right to feel bad on this one. There was so many times in a movie where people are blaming themselves for things that could not possibly be their fault. Like they were, oh, you know, I was five years old and my dad shot my mom and I blame myself for it. And it's like, why?
00:15:44
Speaker
How? That doesn't make any sense. Bruce Willis, I think, needs to blame himself more. Yeah, you this needs to follow you for years. And maybe you need to have your license revoked to even be in this industry. Meanwhile, his therapist is telling him like that he needs to move on and and you know not cancel his practice. And I'm like, no, no, cancel your practice. Cancel your practice, sir.
00:16:12
Speaker
We're up to two bad therapists now. You're right. We ain't done. Don't worry about it, y'all. But during that session, he reveals that he's... So this is a dumb thing that I was not clear on. Is he full colorblind or is he just missing the color red? Well, I mean, it's a good question. Did he become red-green colorblind or did he just, like, can he still see green?
00:16:40
Speaker
Cause they only reference red as something he doesn't see the rest of the movie, but he does say he's colorblind. And at one point he's wearing a one red sock and one green sock. So presumably he is now red, green color blinds. It's just that I guess not being able to see grass is not as meaningful as not being able to see blood or passion.
00:17:05
Speaker
We should have brought back Brad that did cruising with us. Brad is real life color blind. This would have been a- Oh, you're right. We didn't know. We didn't know. All the dramatic reveals where it was like you thought it was this, it's blood. That wouldn't have meant anything to him. All the dramatic shifts in lighting where it was like that light was red all along. He wouldn't know.
00:17:28
Speaker
I'm not joking. You just, said you saying that made me realize because it's such not a big deal until they mention it occasionally, that there's moments in it where I'm supposed to remember that he's colorblind. Yes. That I definitely didn't until just now specific scenes coming to mind. So he jet sets to LA, like we said, he ends up with Scott Bakula.
00:17:52
Speaker
I just want to point out though that the sentence, Bruce Willis is colorblind as a trauma response to his patient throwing herself out a window in the middle of a session after he told her there is no God is a wild sentence for me to have to say.
Plot Absurdities and Therapy Scene Critique
00:18:12
Speaker
That should be a review on the VHS. Right? Why was this? This should be on the poster. You and I should have watched this 20 years ago. We were children. Okay. Sorry. I guess 15 years ago. I don't know. We we should have already seen this. um This is one of the, if not the best so bad it's good movie we've watched so far.
00:18:40
Speaker
where Cat People was questionable on if it was good or bad or what the situation was. It was in its own beautiful category. This this is firmly in the so bad, it's good category. I thought once we get to LA and we hang out with ah with Scott Bakula, his friend Bob, so Bruce Willis' bill, Scott Bakula's Bob, Bob and Bill. Yeah, I could not keep straight, which is which. So in my notes, they are Bruce and they are Bakula. Yes, Bruce and Bakula.
00:19:10
Speaker
We basically, Scott, we get introduced to, for whatever reason, this random group of people that had nothing in common to do a group therapy. Nothing at all. This is the stupid, like I could not understand. somebody clearly saw like a one flew over the cuckoo's nest or like some some like movie where people are in a psychiatric hospital and they have that scene where everybody has to do group therapy but like they all have their different quirks this one thinks that he's Abraham Lincoln and this one is afraid of ah talking and right but like that makes sense because they're all there against their will
00:19:48
Speaker
and they are required to do group therapy. There's no reason these people should, one guy, he's just there because he's sad that his wife and child are dead. He should be in a grief support group, not here with, um, the sex addict and the, the guy with OCD and the guy who I'm pretty sure is, he's just an asshole. Like i I don't know what,
00:20:12
Speaker
what Benny from the Mummy's actual diagnosis is other than asshole. I found a thing that broke down scene to scene and what's longer. He had a longer story arc in the director's cut where he is an artist and he is into like weird S and&M shit. Well, I got that from his paintings. In the director's cut, you see much more hardcore paintings.
00:20:37
Speaker
oh like spikes coming out of asses and like oh man, he's got something going on up there, but it's kind of a dick. OK, so wait, but like also we're just pathologizing the fact that the guy's got a kink like let him he doesn't need therapy for that. I mean, he what he needs is individual therapy, not group therapy, because he is a total dick to everyone else in that group.
00:21:02
Speaker
And why Why do they want to spend time around this dude? When one of the patients punches him in the face in the middle of the session, I'm like, yes, good. So as we introduce, we're also introduced to Richie, who is somebody with gender identity issues.
00:21:28
Speaker
Okay, we're always confused by this as I was because I definitely thought because it's so very clearly of a female actor playing Richie, that I was like, Okay, so Richie is a trans man. And they're all being very hip by in 1994 using his pronouns that he prefers. No, that is not what I'm supposed to think. I'm supposed to think that this is a man who is ah having gender identity confusion and wants to be a woman. Don't worry, guys, this movie seems like it's going to be really regressive about gender identity. It's not it's regressive about a whole bunch of other stuff instead.
00:22:09
Speaker
Yeah, what I was gonna ask is if we should reveal that right away because 100% I had the same issue with the movie where it wasn't until an hour into the movie when a sentence was said that I realized I Like kit you and I's brains both did the same thing and that was take something that was so fucking stupid and make it just make sense in our head. yeah yeah We like, our brains fixed the movie and we went with it until the movie let us know like, no, you did it wrong.
00:22:46
Speaker
you were correct I was like, this is a trans man. This is awesome that they're all calling him. he Yeah, I was so proud of all of them. And they were like, yeah, ah he's here for gender identity and social
Character Identity Confusion
00:22:59
Speaker
phobia. And he did some drugs and he's got a stutter. And I was like, okay, cool.
00:23:04
Speaker
I'm glad you guys are so, so chill about the gender identity thing. And you realize that what he really needs to work on is a social phobias, right? Like, and you're all calling him bias his pronouns. This is great. No, that's not what's happening. Later in dialogue, they, this is like an hour later into the movie where this whole movie, I'm just like, this person's issue is they are a trans man in 1994. And that is really hard to navigate.
00:23:30
Speaker
ah And ah Lance Hendrickson in dialogue says he wants to be a woman and all that's left to do is get the chop. And that's when my brain, like I had to pause the movie and like reboot myself.
00:23:45
Speaker
because it I don't know if I've ever had my brain just be like, this is impossible, that this is what they want me to believe, I'm fixing this. I was so, yes, yes, because Garrett, like ah Bruce Willis said in the opening, we view our lives like we're looking through a keyhole and so we make things up that we can't see outside the frame. You and I did that by making the movie make sense because ah We only saw a tiny piece of how stupid this movie was and we filled it in with something smart We should not have done that apparently we needed to fill it in with something way stupider It's also super obvious. I don't know how how obvious it was for you but it seemed really obvious as soon as we met the ah the cute girlfriend Rose that ah rear ends Bruce Willis. Did you immediately clock that those were the same people?
00:24:45
Speaker
No, well, so if I had had a chance, so this is and for me, we do meet this, ah this June, would we say the name was June March, Jade March? I was not familiar with her other than in this Jane March. As soon as her character appeared in this movie and after Bruce Willis as a fender bender, like it is pretty clear because she has very distinct teeth. And clearly Richie has the same teeth, but I didn't have time to make that connection because as soon as I got to her, I looked up her IMDB and I thought, have I seen this woman before? She is very pretty. And then I thought she had been nominated for awards.
00:25:24
Speaker
and I clicked the awards and she had been nominated for, ah well, she i got nominated for like three Razzies for this movie. I don't think that's fair. ah She is not what makes this movie not work.
00:25:36
Speaker
Just to be clear, the Razzies in 1994 do need to like do some revisionist history. One person who got nominated for worst actor was for three separate movies and it was Jim Carrey for Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber and the Mask. ah So now the Razzies ain't always right.
00:25:55
Speaker
Oh no, that is, wow, that is bad. She got nominated for worst actress and then also enlisted worst actor, Richie. So I literally did it. I got it fucking spoiled so fast. I mean, all for them to have that hilarious joke of the fact that she is both characters.
00:26:18
Speaker
Okay, so just to be clear on what everybody's fun quirk is in the group, we have Sandra, who is Miss Scarlett from Clue. She is a sex addict, a kleptomaniac, and I think that was it. I don't think there was any other... She's just sad. We do find out she shot or stabbed somebody down the line. Oh yeah, she may or may not have killed her husband at some point. It doesn't really matter.
00:26:45
Speaker
There's Richie, who has gender identity, social phobia, stuttering, and a drug problem. There's Buck, who is ah grieving the loss of his, yes, that's Lance. ah Bishop from Aliens ah is one of my favorite roles of his. ah He is in grieving the loss of the his wife and child. ah We have Casey, ah that's Benny from The Mummy. ah He is an asshole. ah He needs to learn to be nicer. He needs to learn to be nice. And interact with humans better. And he likes S and&M. And then we have Clark, which is Brad Dorff and he has OCD. Yeah. We basically have an adult version of the dream warriors right now. is Oh You're not wrong at all. And like,
00:27:41
Speaker
Everybody's got their thing and somebody's gonna get killed. Everybody's got their thing. And always there's like, it's gotta be that there's one woman who is a sex addict because obviously. And we gotta have an OCD person. And all of these people should not be in a group together. It is so, so clear that they should not be in a group. There's no reason.
00:28:07
Speaker
but Richie should be with other people who have, you know, social phobias and or gender identity issues, right? Like, Buck just needs to be in a support group for people who've who've lost loved ones. ah There's just, this is stupid, and so counterproductive.
00:28:26
Speaker
Do you think everybody being here is an insurance issue where like it doesn't cover solo sessions, so you just have to get thrown into the the grab bag, bacula section? I guess so, but like they explicitly point out that Casey is rich. He can afford private therapy. There's no reason he needs to be here. He likes the company and the counting books.
00:28:50
Speaker
Yeah, we've got we've got ah Brad Dorff is is a lawyer. ah Painter guy is a trust fund kid. None of them need to be in group therapy. I think that this is just our terrible therapist, Bakula, getting an extra bit of cash out of all of his patients by putting them into a group session as well as his individual therapy with them. And that way he gets twice as much money.
00:29:22
Speaker
I don't disagree with that. i therere I mean, once again, this is a movie where your brain has to do something to fix how stupid it is. And it's a movie that I can't tell if everybody knows they're in a stupid bad movie. But once again, a lot was cut.
00:29:40
Speaker
so
00:29:44
Speaker
Bruce Willis is is going to stay with with Bakula college buddies they're all college buddies. They went to the same college for terrible therapists where they learned to be bad at therapy. um And he's like, Bakula, you're you're loaded. You have this giant mansion. I'm like, yeah, because he's scamming all these people out of their money by giving them bad therapy.
00:30:09
Speaker
Um, he, the guys talking about how he has, uh, he's divorced, he's dating a new girl. Uh, he has an insane security system on this place. Very noticeable right away as a, he has a fortress around the house. It is the equivalent of fear in terms of the amount of security on this place.
00:30:35
Speaker
But let's get to back, Illidan, because this shit, Kit. Oh, boy. This shit is the best thing. I rewound and watched this four times and I can't wait to reenact.
00:30:50
Speaker
I wish we need to start doing this as a video podcast. So he's been in his office, everybody else leaves, it's late. He has switched, ah this is important for later, that he has switched ah the the sleeve of a book, of a Van Gogh book to be ah like his diary or some shit. I believe those are called therapist notes, but considering this guy, ah yeah, it's his diary.
00:31:12
Speaker
It's his sex journal that he but he has hiding on his wall of books. He hears a thud. He hollers to see if anybody's there. He starts to walk, sees the silhouette of a menacing figure. And we know from his security system and what he has said to Bruce Willis, he's pretty sure somebody in the therapy group is trying to kill him.
00:31:35
Speaker
Yeah, he's it's he informs Bruce Willis of this while they're on a bike ride. He's like, yeah, someone in the group is sending me death threats. And then he pops a sick wheelie, because that's the kind of movie we're in. He's got a cute little 80s biker hat, you know like bicycle hat while he pops the wheelie. But the best part about this, so we see the silhouette. Bakula knows he's in danger and that somebody has been trying to kill him, and the cops can't do anything until he's dead, because cops. Because cops.
00:32:05
Speaker
His reaction to seeing this silhouette, I'm gonna step away from the mic for a second so it's not so loud, is to do this. Ah! And then run while still going, ah!
00:32:25
Speaker
And as he runs, screaming, ah! yeahp Like you do. because glass is paper, the killer jumps through this glass. Oh yeah, we got people jumping. We got people jumping out of windows. We got people jumping into windows. We got people pushing each other through windows. I love all of it.
00:32:49
Speaker
Windows shit is big and we see a hand wearing latex gloves, wearing chain mail, a hidden blade. It's Assassin's Creed style blade popping out. Like this, this person came ready to assassinate. Oh, it's a beautiful assassination too. Cause it's stabby, stabby, stabby, stabby, stabby, stabby.
00:33:13
Speaker
He's unfortunately, he's probably already dead based on the amount of stabbies to the the belly chest. But unfortunately, you know, this world, he falls into a glass door. That's the worst case scenario for anyone. Just extra impaled by a giant shark glass, just if you were worried he might live. Impaled through his own office door, like the the the glass door. stabbing straight up through him. It's beautiful. In many ways, you don't feel too bad about it. Man was a real bad there. He was also real bad at not getting fucking killed, Kit. For our listener, if you see the silhouette of somebody and you know in your head you could be murdered, stay silent. You have a couple options.
00:34:06
Speaker
can you get it out Can you get out? Can you silently escape where you are? Or is there a good hiding spot? Absolutely. The third option, if you've given up all hope, is scream, ah, and run so that they know exactly where you are through your alarm system that's coming out of your face.
00:34:27
Speaker
Yeah, well there's also the problem of you invested all this money in a security system for your house and you put nothing into your office, despite the fact that you work there late at night and all of your patients know where that is. They may not know where your house is, but they absolutely know where your office is and you have no security system whatsoever. You have no cameras, no alarm. You don't even have a gun. You have a gun in your house. You don't have a gun in your office.
00:34:56
Speaker
He sucks. He's a fucking idiot. He shouldn't have a license to tell people what to do in any situation, let alone any of the ones these people have. Honestly, those patients, he got Luigi. He got Luigi.
Therapists' Incompetence and Mental Health Portrayal
00:35:15
Speaker
Are we using that as a verb for when someone gets murdered for something they probably deserve because of what they do at their job?
00:35:26
Speaker
Is that i mean that a new word? They were all receiving poor health care. I don't know what else like. That's a good point. That's a good point. I mean, seriously, he is this man's therapist. I want to point out like he has been seeing these people for ah like a year now. He has also been dating a woman. ah Did not realize she's the same woman as one of his patients.
00:35:53
Speaker
um did not realize that his patient was actually a woman dressing up like a man. Something you and I realized at first glance and rationalized as, oh, that's a trans man. He didn't even see that. He's a therapist and could not tell.
00:36:17
Speaker
that this is though ah This is a woman in men's clothing pretending to be a man and just like slightly lowering her voice so that she talks like this. Oh, that's the stutter? Do you think the stutter is there to cover the fact that she's not that good at lowering her voice? Maybe. I mean, she did get nominated for a raspy. Well, she was in good company, apparently.
00:36:41
Speaker
So I don't want this to come off as offensive towards trans folks and in regards to passing and not passing. and Absolutely not. This is more about us trying to interpret Hollywood in the nineties and their idea of what gender is, which is. It was wildly bad makeup and hair yeah to the point that. I don't want to say it, but I'm going to throw it out there.
00:37:09
Speaker
ah the there was a potential there was potential that rie was a ghoul
00:37:23
Speaker
I'm just saying you can never be too sure and you yeah you have to keep every scenario open when you're a detective. Now that you mention it though, um pale pale white did they like clearly she was in some like, cause there's a gray cast to her face. She looks like a corpse. She looked very corpse like and they were like, obviously, if you want a woman to look like a man, the first thing you need to do is suck all color out of her skin. Then because she is a beautiful woman. Oh, gorgeous.
00:38:02
Speaker
And so I guess they were like the the way to to to make sure she doesn't look like a pretty lady is to make her look like a corpse. And then you won't think about it too much. And we'll just sort of like have her duck her head all the time and and look away and put her in the corner of the frame so that you don't look too carefully at her. So in all of the times in this podcast that I've become the boy that shouts ghoul. Yeah.
00:38:31
Speaker
Where does this rank end? He might be right.
00:38:39
Speaker
yeah Was it more reasonable that Richie was a ghoul or was it the ghoul and body double? Okay, I will say it is more likely than body double, and I'll tell you why. Because, as I said before, you think this movie is regressive about gender identity? It's not. It's regressive about what it thinks schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder are, because those were real popular topics back then. So, since this person has multiple personalities, I will say it's possible one of those personalities is a ghoul.
00:39:14
Speaker
Oh, man. We've never explored that in a movie. hu I don't know if it would have made this one better, but um I'm actually pretty happy with how this one turned out to be quite honest. Next we get the best cop interrogation ever. garrett Garrett, this cop, Garrett, can you explain why this cop is what he is? Because I sure can't.
Unusual Detective Character
00:39:42
Speaker
Kit, this is not just the worst police officer we've run into. Not the worst as far as detective skills, but maybe. But also just, I think this is the worst human being we have run into in any movie we've watched, and that includes a rapist werewolf magician.
00:40:02
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree 100%. This guy is because even the the werewolf magician wouldn't be saying nice Bush about the ex-wife of a dead man to that dead man's best friend who just found out his friend is dead that day or the day before.
00:40:26
Speaker
He is such a dick to Bruce Willis in this scene and is showing no remorse that his friend is dead. So it's he's the weirdest detective ever. He has a terrible comb-over. He has no tact whatsoever. He is Detective Hector Martinez, I believe is his name. And ah he immediately is bullying Bruce Willis.
00:40:50
Speaker
and and just being so rude. and And he never once says anything like, I'm sorry for your loss. Instead, he is just aggressively weird. And I don't know if this is a tactic like he thinks Bruce Willis did it, and this is going to get him to break. But I don't think that's true. I think he's just a weird, horrible man.
00:41:10
Speaker
I think that's right. This is the scene where, as they're talking, Eric LaSalle, famously from many seasons of yeah ER, maybe even while this was on, to be honest, walks into the room, says nothing, gets screamed at a lot by this guy and leaves. Hector, anybody that has a mental health issue, he refers to as a fucking daffodil. Yeah, yeah, great. um But I don't even know how to like, I'm trying to think of like specific things he says in this scene. yeah I want to point out though, the Hector is is ah rude to people who have mental illness. Bruce Willis, our hero and therapist when asked by Scott Bakula about the group.
00:41:57
Speaker
refers to Richie as a genuine nutcase. So it's not like our mental health professionals are so much more respectful than Hector over here.
00:42:09
Speaker
I don't want to stand up for a dickhead, but Bruce Willis wasn't on the clock when he said that.
00:42:18
Speaker
No, but he is having a professional conversation with another therapist about his clients. Professional is a big word. for what
00:42:31
Speaker
You're right, you're right, you're right. But yeah, the scene, he's just such an asshole. He's accusing Bruce Willis of murder. He is kind of a cute, like making it seem like he doesn't, like he's obstructing the case. He does make it seem like he wants Bruce Willis to help. Mm-hmm. Help like. just Figure out who did it and he's bullying Bruce into taking over the group and, and, and,
00:43:01
Speaker
It's not clear ah at all why this would be a good idea.
Bruce Willis and Therapy Group Takeover
00:43:06
Speaker
Well, he's bullying him into taking over the group. And when he does take over the group is mad at him for taking over the group. He's like, no, you need to break up the group. I just wanted you to tell them all that their therapist is dead in group therapy, because that seems like the appropriate time to tell people this.
00:43:25
Speaker
When he does eventually, you know, he tells the people and Bruce Willis is their therapist. There's like nothing huge there, but Hector finds out and he does say this line that I'm sure you also wrote down. You stick your dick in a barrel of Barracudas once, maybe you won't lose it. You leave it in there. It's going to get chewed off at the root. Hector.
00:43:49
Speaker
does have things like that in his back pocket to throw out just ready to put out at a moment's notice yeah he he He tells the group his whole sob story. And after hearing that, they still want him to be their therapist, to replace Bakula. And I don't know why. He basically just said, I'm really bad at my job. I got a lady killed. And they're like, yeah, and we want you. Well, they knew the quality of care they were getting from Bakula. And it's not like it could get any worse. It can.
00:44:27
Speaker
if anything it's just a like
00:44:33
Speaker
But yeah, so I do love that Bruce Willis has just commandeered his friend's house, his car. Like really this worked out well for Bruce Willis since his death. I started thinking maybe Bruce Willis really did kill him, that Bruce Willis had- The schizophrenia. ah Yeah, that he was the one with multiple personalities and like went into a fugue state or something and killed this dude because he ends up with this guy's car, house, client list,
00:45:04
Speaker
Everything he's he's he's getting bills at this dude's house and is like paying like he just lives here now This is his life. He just took his old friend's life Took his girlfriend even We find that out later, but yeah, he gets an offender bender with Jane March, who plays Rose in this movie. Very beautiful lady, doesn't have insurance. They're gonna they're going to deal with it, you know, on the side. So what does he do? if is This is like cat people. He invites her out for some oysters.
00:45:42
Speaker
So what'd you do? Great teeth, great teeth. I love- She's so cute. Great teeth, big eyes. but Great breasts. Great Great breasts. Kit, if we're just going to go ahead and jump to some sex scenes, because nothing, I mean, why not? Why not? Can you believe that the first sex scene in this movie, the extended version, it's so gratuitous.
00:46:11
Speaker
Oh God, yeah, it was popcorn, 100%. It's so close to showing penetration. So oh close. So close. Well, the director's cut. So this scene is like two and a half minutes, the sex scene. and And it feels like it. It is a long sex scene. The director's cut version is like four and a half minutes and more explicit.
00:46:34
Speaker
And what I love is the variety. Bruce Willis is a machine. Man can go all night long. They are in every place, every position. and He wakes up and realizes he's still tied to the bed. We didn't even see that part.
00:46:56
Speaker
cut from the movie. We got to get our hands on this director's cut. i want steve maybe mad Since you and I didn't get to watch this movie together, maybe we save the director's cut and watch that together. We'll find a DVD out there. It's gotta be out there somewhere. I mean, it's it's so good.
00:47:15
Speaker
She comes over to the house, the dress comes off, they get pushed into the pool, his clothes come off. She goes down on him, he goes down on her. It is like, this movie loves to show a vagina. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And oh, it's just lovingly filming her breasts as well. And Bruce Willis gets in there, he is licking and sucking.
00:47:38
Speaker
and It's wildly explicit for an R. Absolutely. It is borderline soft core because they're in the pool. We see the whitest ass. So white. I mean, right. His ass is blinding. um And then there's like a random scene where she's like, I want you to get dressed up. And he's like, what? And she's like, put on a suit. And then he she serves him dinner.
Explicit Content Analysis
00:48:12
Speaker
What, oh my god. Back to Doug. I'm showing Kit Jane March kissing right next to Bruce Willis' naked penis. She's just right in there. That wasn't in the movie. And it's not just one shot of his penis. Oh my goodness, look at that guy. Hey there, buddy. Willis has a little bit of a history of showing hanging dong early in his career. Good for him. Good for him.
00:48:42
Speaker
Sorry to interrupt, I just thought you needed to see that. I did need to see it. Since we got robbed of it in our version. I know, and that's such a rip-off, really, because there is so much lady. If people who want to see Dawn deserve a little something special, too. I just have a word for the VHS tape. No one saw this in theaters anyway. That's so true. I mean, can you imagine if you had gone to see this, like, with other people?
00:49:08
Speaker
it it It would be a little inappropriate. It would feel like you were doing something wrong. But yeah, they're on the counter, they're in the bed. She serves him food while he is in a suit and she is bare naked. And then, never mind, never mind, it's time to go to the shower and have sex there. They can't make up their lives. It's pressed against the glass, squished against the- Oh yeah. You don't get that in every movie.
00:49:39
Speaker
You don't, honestly. It's. And it's not just one like throughout this movie, there's, you know, multiple scenes going on. and This is a it takes a while to get to this first one. But this lady is just new throughou the rest of this movie. Yeah, yeah. He comes home at one point and she's just in his house wearing nothing but a frilly apron.
00:50:05
Speaker
she The woman just, listen, if I looked like that, I would never wear clothes either, I'll be honest. Like, what? And then there's just like later in the movie, they're in bed and they have like a little joke where she pulls a boob and it's like, what color is my nipple? And they share a hearty laugh. Because he don't know. Because he can't see that color. Can't see that color. But what he can see is that he wants to put his mouth on it.
00:50:30
Speaker
Yeah, he's never afraid. like I cannot imagine there was an intimacy coordinator on set since that's a very popular topic in Hollywood right now. This movie looked like they just filmed for days of just these two. There's one part where he like slides his arm under and like like flips her over, which is a very realistic thing to happen in sex. But I was like, oh my, like you're That is her. We're there. That is her body. You are touching it. You're right. There's a part around the same time where like we see their pelvis is so close. Yes. Together and thrust in that yeah it is just.
00:51:10
Speaker
They're just having sex, I think. just I think they may have just had sex. And I I'm I'm here for it. ah I would. be i see I had it gotten to the point where I was wondering, I was like, is there going to be an erotic in my erotic thriller? I'm starting to feel a little parched. And boy, oh boy, did they just ah give me a pool filled with gallons of jizz.
00:51:39
Speaker
This movie truly keeps on giving. Cause throughout it, like things will be said, things will happen. Like everything's inexplicable. Then we just get this gratuitous sex scene. And it's just, this movie just gives and gives and goes. and It's like Bruce Willis himself. They can go all night long.
00:52:00
Speaker
ah They say go analyze each other. ah He's like, you're just every guy's fantasy. You know, you just be whoever they want you to be. And she's like, Yeah, and the fact that you said that about me means I love you now. Basically how that goes. Meanwhile, the detective we find out was a had bugged the office and was listening in on that group session where he told them that their therapist was dead, which is so many kinds of illegal, there's absolutely no way he had a warrant for that.
Comedic Realizations
00:52:32
Speaker
None whatsoever. Super not okay. Bruce Willis is like, that's naughty. You shouldn't have done that, but then let's that go. The things this guy says though, like he comes to Bruce Willis's house and's like, we're going to search it. He goes, do you have a warrant? He said, do you want me to find the killer or not? And Bruce Willis says, whatever, lets him in.
00:52:52
Speaker
Which I don't know if you need a warrant to search the victim's house. It's not even his house. It's not your house. You're just, you are, you are a guest here, sir. It's really lucky for you that this man died with an ex-wife and no children because otherwise you have just replaced this man and just stolen all his shit and declared that it is yours. He is fucking, he is Great Britain and this, he has colonized this man's house.
00:53:24
Speaker
That's a real nice painting you have there, mine now. Do you remember what the cop says when Bruce Willis was like, oh, I can't tell you about that. Dr. Patient confidentiality is confidentiality. You want to know what if my best friend died and the Miranda rights came into play. I'd fuck Miranda up. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. yeah that yep That's our guy.
00:53:49
Speaker
What we find out is ah there's a lot of scenes that basically just add up to everyone in this group is dating the same girl and they don't know it. And there's even a scene where ah Bruce Willis is like, okay, guys, let's all talk about what we want in our partners and what we would change about them if we could. And everybody's clearly dating the same person and none of them can figure it out. They're all real stupid and coincidentally the only person who doesn't talk in this scene is Richie because the movie thinks we're really stupid and doesn't think we know that Richie is the same woman that Bruce Willis is dating that
00:54:35
Speaker
um ah sean Sandra, her gal pal that we see, Bonnie, who's British and has a big Auburn wig. like We're supposed to not realize, I guess, that these are all the same person, but it's so painfully obvious. And it means it's really weird that we don't see what Richie's doing while everyone in the room is talking about her.
00:54:59
Speaker
I definitely thought that it was going to be that Richie is a trans man who ah because it was pretty obvious that this is the same person that Bruce Willis is dating and we've definitely seen her naked. I was like, okay, so he's already.
00:55:14
Speaker
um but Like it made perfect sense to me that like, okay, so like there's the part of him that dresses as a man, but also he's expressing like the female side by going out and having sex with all the people in the group, like, but then it becomes really obvious that when he says, ah when Buck is like talking about how he wants to be a woman and he's getting the chop and I was like, okay, is he a trans woman?
00:55:43
Speaker
And he's already had the surgery, because we know what their body looks like, because it's clearly the same person. What am I supposed to... It got real confusing there for a second until I realized like, no, no, no, no, no no nobody here is trans anything. Do you think though... She's got multiple personalities. So I'd like to think that in 1994 audiences weren't this dumb and this just isn't from us.
00:56:12
Speaker
you know having more experience with the trans community and you know having friends and just knowing more about it. Because in this movie, like once you see Richie and you see Rose, she has such a she has such distinct teeth, honestly. She's got these very prominent ah front two teeth that you're like, oh, okay, like I immediately know who you are.
00:56:37
Speaker
you You have the same teeth. but You are the same person. Like Richie does like squint a little more and is like change her giant eye, like doe eyes, but you can't like, there's no, I don't know. No amount of like gray face makeup can change the fact that these are the same person. And so then you're just trying to figure out, okay, which kind of regressive nineties thinking are we going with here as to why they are the same person?
00:57:08
Speaker
Do you think that maybe that's why the producers, like we're cutting a half hour of this because we're not fucking idiots? yeah your treat audit Like Like you don't need to, who done it this hard with everybody when we're like, that's that person. you When you read Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde now, the only thing you know about it is they're the same person. And reading the the actual original work, you're like, get to the point.
00:57:39
Speaker
I know! It was so frustrating for me. I mean, admittedly, I was a kid when I was reading it and I wasn't particularly patient, but I was like, okay, are we not gonna get into any of the, like, philosophical or existential things about this? No, we're it's just a, who is this person? Who is this person? Do they know each other? They're the same person! And so it's so frustrating, and that's what it felt like here. I was like,
00:58:04
Speaker
Guys, they're the same person. Guys, and so yes, if there had been an extra 20 or 30 minutes of them dragging out the fact that they are the same person, I would have thrown myself out the window like I was Pepper Ann.
00:58:21
Speaker
Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann, survives a great big splat.
00:58:27
Speaker
The snake thing? Did we skip that? Oh, yeah. ah So Bruce Willis keeps getting random threats on his own life. Someone floods the house and he slips on water. And ah yeah if he's a 40 year old man, that broke his goddamn back landing like that. It looked so painful. Yeah. Bitch ain't going jog in the next day like he is. Yeah. Yeah.
00:58:52
Speaker
And then also, ah he opens his mailbox and there's a rattlesnake inside. And for some reason he's laying there in the middle of the road as if he's trapped. And I'm like, back up. Hey, back up. Back up. and Instead he's like screaming to people for help. And the guy has like a leaf blower and can't hear him. I'm like, just back up. Move, the snake's still in the mailbox. Move.
00:59:16
Speaker
over The best part, though, in that, and i I since we ended up delaying the recordings, I watched it a second time and in the second viewing, I didn't notice when he falls backwards into the road, he falls in front of an oncoming car and the guy yells at him. But based on where the mailbox is, the car that he falls in front of and gets yelled at is driving on the wrong side of the road. I think that man swerved to hit him.
00:59:45
Speaker
He literally swears, he's like, there's a man. And then swears, like, get out of the way. But like, what the fuck? That's just- LA drivers, am I right?
00:59:56
Speaker
Oh my God. And then I guess we can get to the car chase, which is- Yeah, we might as well. A full Bruce Willis action movie scene in this movie. Yeah, okay. can you expbook So basically he's being chased by a red car.
01:00:13
Speaker
Like a T-bird or something? I don't know. I'm not a car person, but he keeps getting rear-ended by this red car. And it's definitely doing more damage to the car that is attacking him than to Bruce Willis's car. And I'm like, you are fucking up your nice car. And for what, dude? um And then ah we're swerving all over the road. ah and the A train is coming. I don't understand.
01:00:41
Speaker
it Oh, we bad boys to it with the the car, the truck with falling cars. cards are fall off the gang It was just like in, um, one of the many, uh, fatal ah ah fatal attractions, final destinations.
01:00:58
Speaker
uh with the cars falling off the the car what do you call that thing a car that transport cars yeah all the cars are coming i mean it's just like literally bad boys too like they're shooting at it as they're using the cars falling off as weapons it's great not not in this it is but it is full on gone to a ah place that this movie never felt like it was going to reach this point of just a straight up 90s action movie scene And Bruce Willis ah goes into full Bruce mode. No longer is he a mild-mannered therapist. He's like trying to trap this car in front of a train.
01:01:36
Speaker
Yeah, he's trying to kill the, which is badass. That's like the most competent thing anyone's done in this whole movie is he's reversing this car into a train. Yeah, the car is pushing into him. He's backing up, pushing the car back, trying, and and a train is coming. and Like they're playing chickens somehow. And he's like, why won't you just reverse? Should I?
01:02:01
Speaker
I have it written down, should I say the phone call that happens before this car chase? Sure. He gets a call on his car phone, I guess a therapist, or his buddy's car phone, and the voice is like, hey, puke face, look around, can't you see me? Or do you have doo-doo in your eyes and caca on the brain? Suck my tinker toy, you cretin' F slur.
01:02:26
Speaker
Oh yeah. Cause we get both the, the, ah the F slur and the C word in this movie. We're, we're having a lot of fun here. Yeah. We hit a lot of the words. We had a lot of, a lot of words and Garrett, looking back, who calls this man? Who, who was doing that? Was that Dale? So yeah, we do. There are several scenes with Dale, Andrew Lowry, that I mentioned from boy my boyfriend's back, who is the brother of Richie.
01:02:56
Speaker
And he's like, Richie needs to get out of therapy. It's not good for him. And Bruce Willis is like, what are you talking about? Your brother is messed up. And he's like, no, no, he's messed up because you keep you therapist. You're picking at the scabs. You know how sometimes when someone gets shot in the head and they just leave the bullet in because it would do more damage to take it out.
01:03:18
Speaker
And Bruce Willis is like, I don't think that's how it works with psychology. And so he's he's like, but here's the thing, though. Richie is here because of court order because of his drugs problem. So I can't just like let him go unless I actually think he's doing well. So a lot of this is investigating What happened to Richie? Why is Richie so messed up? Why why is Richie here? Where even was Richie? Because like they it the family rewards of the state.
01:03:50
Speaker
It is so stupid, Garrett, that he is looking through all these files and never finds out that there was a sister until the lady dramatically reveals it at the end of the movie. He looks for so many records on these kids and their lives, and they were taken in by these people, and then they were, you know, oh, we lost track of them for a while, and then they show back up, and there's no mention of the fact that there's also a sister. And there's no mention that Richie's fucking dead.
01:04:19
Speaker
No, well, you know how LA record keeping is. It's like LA drivers. So car chase, car chase. It ends up with a thing where the red car ends up on top of a parking garage, shoves the car off trying to crush Bruce Willis. Oh, it's great.
01:04:34
Speaker
Great, awesome scene. Bruce Willis has to do his, you know, classic dive like he's jumping away from an explosion as he doesn't get crushed by a car. The next scene is insane. This is just like such a small little scene that I have to bring up and that is the police officer's birthday party. Oh my God, yes. We can't not mention the birthday party. Wise Bruce Willis at his birthday party.
Bizarre Police Scene
01:05:00
Speaker
It's an outdoor, like,
01:05:02
Speaker
It's a party with his family, there's shit on the people there, there's food, but it seems like Bruce Willis just came to tell him, I almost got killed. And they're just having- And he just happened to be there at his back yard birthday party. The birthday party of this man who absolutely hates him. And as they're talking, a police helicopter hovers over the party, they get on a megaphone,
01:05:32
Speaker
and start shouting down at the party like, hey, Lieutenant Hector, whatever his last name is. Keep in mind, there are children at this party. There are grandmas at this party. There are- It's a big party. It's a big party.
01:05:47
Speaker
The police officers are, do you call that the rudders on the plane? Like the legs that the helicopter lands on? The part people always are grabbing onto dramatically in movies. Yeah. So they're hanging out at the side of this, no protection, very high in the air. And a lady dressed as a police officer- She may be a lady police officer, we have no idea. There's no context. Or she could be a stripper that is just a stripper cop, cop stripper. The vibe is regular cop.
01:06:17
Speaker
drops her pants while hovering from a helicopter and starts shaking her ass. But in a way that also shows us, she's just shaking her whole vagina at us during this scene in front of children, nannas there. God and everyone. God and everybody. I have questions.
01:06:36
Speaker
Do you? One, was she a cop? Two, is she a registered sex offender now? Like there's- Three, are my tax dollars paying- Paid for this! Are my tax dollars paying for this helicopter to come to this asshole's birthday and moon him?
01:07:01
Speaker
but like a pussy moon. Like, what the fuck? This is just like an extra, like, you haven't seen any vaginas in a while. Here is one from behind.
01:07:15
Speaker
Here you go. In an inexplicable scene that could have taken place anywhere, but we paid 200 extras to be this far, dude. It's honestly the same thing when he goes to see the cop the last time and they're in a club. They're in like a rock club and I'm like, you guys paid. You're walking by the whiskey of go-go, yeah.
01:07:35
Speaker
You paid for so many extras when this could have just been them talking in the street or a diner or just like on a phone call. A split screen phone call to get two like a minute of dialogue tops. what is wild that they paid for this, that they thought that that was so important. I guess because he mentions that he used to work in vice and that sort of becomes like you don't need to show him at a rock club for him to mention that he used to work in vice. And all that sets up is that he and Buck knew each other and he was fucking Buck's wife before Buck's wife died. And that turns out to not be relevant to anything. It's just a red herring, I guess, so that for a minute you think that
01:08:22
Speaker
Hector might be the killer or Buck might be the killer because Buck has a red car But his red car is not fucked up and there's no way that car wouldn't be in shambles Well, he did have a did have a cracked windshield And Buck did come outside with a gun which is supposed to make me think he's great. He's not his family died tragically. That's it. Yep and and Then we see ah that ah Casey, ah the the S and&M artist, is ah getting murdered. um It's pretty hard to tell if he's being railed or murdered because ah the belt's around his neck and he looks like he might be enjoying it, but it's hard to know.
01:09:07
Speaker
Well, because it was his girlfriend, so he recognized her and it's like, hey, I'm working out, what are you doing? Like, he doesn't even acknowledge that it's like murdering him yet because it's part of his kink. Yes. But yes, they're they're all dating Bonnie. Bonnie is Rose. Yep, yep. It's Rose with a fake British accent and a wig. The scene where they all realize they're dating the same woman is pretty cute. it's Yes, it is.
01:09:34
Speaker
They find a naked photo in the office in a book and they're just going around in circles being like, that's my girlfriend. That's my girlfriend. Which also I want to point out that this naked photo of ah what was at the time Scott Bakula's girlfriend is in his therapy notes slash diary, which he keeps in his office.
01:10:00
Speaker
Sure, why not? We have to mention, though, one of my favorite little sex bits, though, is Bruce Willis and Rose in the bath and he's driving an RC tank up her tummy. I would have forgotten about that. Shoot water in her face. It's so, so hot. It's so hot. It's so hot.
01:10:22
Speaker
And that's the only reason that scene's in the movie is because it's hot. yeah He's on the bottom. She's laying on top of him, floating on water, full so full frontal again. It's just soapy, but the soap's not hiding nothing.
01:10:36
Speaker
It's, yeah, army tank driving over a pubes. Like, I was more like, where did Bruce Willis get this army tank? Was this Bob's army tank? Is he now just like, I found this toy and I'm gonna ruin it in the bathtub, this electronic toy? Yeah, it is a little weird that he's fucking Bacula's girlfriend, which I guess he doesn't know it's Bacula's girlfriend, but he should, because like, she let herself into the house. I wonder how she knew the code to the alarm system. gee Um, but like he's fucking that woman on every surface in this dead man's house. Oh yeah. Yeah. And like you said, he doesn't have a wife or kids or family or anything. So, you know, Scott Bakula would have wanted it this way, I think.
01:11:19
Speaker
Would he? Eh, probably.
01:11:25
Speaker
It's so, I love though, that once they all come to the realization they're dating the same woman, now they have to call Lieutenant Hector. But they still don't realize it's Richie. That's the weirdest part, is they're all like, we're dating her, no I'm dating her, no I'm dating her, and no one notices that like everyone in the group has been dating her, except for...
01:11:45
Speaker
Richie. Who is supposed to be a 16 year old boy? This is true. It would make sense that he's not dating this like 20 something smoke show. By the way, though, makes it even weirder that the 16 year old boy has been put into group therapy with a sex addict. Bad therapists. They're all bad therapists.
01:12:08
Speaker
I can't make it make sense, Kit. My brain can only, you know, fill in so many pieces and that's one that it's just, you just gotta let it go. And you know what, you know how they get you to let it go? Show an army tank driving through a woman's pubes. You know, you see that and your brain like shuts back down that's to just caveman thoughts where you aren't thinking of Claude anymore. Claude, we've never heard of her.
01:12:35
Speaker
I can't see color either. like But I love the, the cop, like he is the last person I would want to have to admit all of this too. And of course he roasts everyone for being fucking idiots for all dating the same woman. The cop shows up. I don't know who invited him, but the cops like, yeah, so you're all a bunch of daffodils dating the same woman.
01:13:01
Speaker
I'm gonna call the Guinness Book of World Record and make sure you're all listed in there so you can all get credit for how fucking stupid point Bruce Willis starts to go a little bit crazy. He's getting real desperate to figure out what the fuck's going on. And so he busts in the the door of this lady who used to be married to a therapist who was Richie's therapist long, long ago, but who didn't want to talk to him. And he just kicks this woman's door in and starts threatening her
01:13:36
Speaker
And it is one of the ladies from grandma's boy, by the way, if you need to put like an old woman in your head that is getting ah harassed and yelled at by Bruce Willis.
Final Reveal and Ending
01:13:48
Speaker
Yes, and he's like, you're gonna tell me everything, and she's like, my husband abused that boy, and then he killed himself, and they're like, what? Richie's been dead for four years, which does lend credence to your ghoul theory. He's been dead for four years. And Bruce Willis, full, looks like Sixth Sense Bruce Willis in this movie. Yeah. So, you know, it was, you know, it's I'm just saying, we've seen it before.
01:14:17
Speaker
Yep, yep, yep. So ah he he terrorizes this lady and ah the lady is like, yeah, also they had a sister named Rose.
01:14:30
Speaker
So, okay, when you're finally we're finally putting the pieces together. Richie's dead. Rose has been pretending to be Richie for reasons that will become clear. And Dale, the brother, presumably knows this, but all he wants from Bruce Willis is for Richie Rose to not be in therapy anymore. So now I guess I gotta to go track him down and find out what's going on here.
01:14:59
Speaker
I don't understand, so we go, we've already been to where Dale works. And when we go back now, I don't fully understand where he works. It seems like maybe it's a place that builds theater sets. It's supposed to be that he builds furniture, but it's not like any furniture I'm familiar with. It's like a spooky ghoul dungeon.
01:15:24
Speaker
It is a spooky ghoul dungeon. And so he gets in there and he sees that Rose is like, literally, this is where it gets a little fucked up, guys. She's nailed to a chair. Both hands, both hands, nails in them. And we hit like a full exorcist style scene. Yeah, it gets, guys, this gets real weird and real messed up. She's like cut up and she's like, he's been,
01:15:54
Speaker
forcing me to be Richie for years now and it was easier just to do it and now She's it because yeah She's got multiple personalities one of whom is Richie one of whom is Bonnie the slut that's sleeping with everyone in the group um and And one of whom is Rose and one of whom may or may not be a ghoul according to Garrett and I think the ghoul is who is talking, because as he's trying to pull the nails out and talking to Rose, then like, he's like, all right, Rose isn't here, Mr. Torrance. And like, she's like.
01:16:36
Speaker
really And he's like, get out of here, Richie. I'm trying to talk to Rose. You leave her alone. So now Bruce Willis is arguing with a ghoul. He is beyond his pay grade of therapy and is now screaming at multiple personalities while digging nails out of a woman's hand.
01:16:54
Speaker
um Yeah. This seems fucking crazy. It gets like Jesus Christ. It is so much. And then Dale shows up and he's got a nail gun. And so we, it's, I mean,
01:17:10
Speaker
It gets really great because like then Martinez, the the detective shows up and he's like, you thought you could outsmart me idiots. I knew where you were going. And here I am to save the day. Just kidding. I'm getting nailed to a wall also. He brought a gun to a nail fight and lost.
01:17:30
Speaker
He is they start shooting the nails as ah Dale starts shooting them at Detective Martinez. They are hitting his fingers one at a time. Yeah, that's great accuracy. Oh, they squish and stretch in a way that like clearly the prosthetic, but like it's really fucking gross, really gross. And yeah, I guess the the so Dale's like a therapist is the reason my brother killed himself. So I hate all therapists.
01:17:59
Speaker
And therefore I feel great about killing Bakula and killing you, Bruce Willis. And this is all justified. And I'm like, well. This movie is not, listen, and I say this as someone who has been in therapy for a very long time. It's been very good for me and my mental health. I'm doing very well because of it, but this movie does not make it look like the noble profession that it is. um Between these therapists, um we have at least three deaths that these therapists are sort of responsible for.
01:18:36
Speaker
Like they are not that these guys are bad. I'm kind of I feel like Dale may have had a bit of a point like Bruce Willis caused a patient to commit suicide. Dr. Needle Dick, as I kept calling him because he was Dr. Needle Meyer. The Richie's old therapist caused Richie to commit suicide.
01:18:55
Speaker
um Bakula was fucking one of his patients and didn't realize it. Bruce Willis was fucking one of his patients and didn't realize it like.
01:19:07
Speaker
You're not making the profession look good. We're just saying, folks, you're getting to know your new therapist. Maybe ask how many people have died on their watch. Yes, literally in front of their very eyes.
01:19:23
Speaker
See, this is one though that like Dale was kind of responding. Am I remembering that right? Like he also abused Richie? ah No, Dale didn't abuse Richie, he abused Rose. After he died. But he never hit Richie? I don't know if it's clear if he did or not.
01:19:40
Speaker
I thought like for some reason my brain is remembering that Dale was like, cause obviously Dale's a crazy person too. I thought he had also beaten or abused Richie. Maybe not. I don't know. Maybe that honestly doesn't matter. I was just going to say this is one where maybe somebody who doesn't feel guilty about the death should feel a little more guilty. Yeah.
01:20:04
Speaker
But Rose has the nail gun. There's a scuffle. She shoots Richie in the head, but then or shoots Dale in the head and then runs away. Here we are back to another thousand story building. Yes, even though this building is only two stories maximum like yeah it is a what we saw of the outside of it.
01:20:25
Speaker
regular size warehouse with some inexplicably tall tower that literally goes through the clouds. It disappears into the clouds. And as they climb this, I don't think you, I don't understand why they were so high, Kit. Why did the director do that? They were so high. They were on, top like, it looked like they were on an airplane, like the ground were in, like everything was in.
01:20:51
Speaker
Well, after Rose has nail gunned her brother in between the eyes, ah she wants to throw herself from the tallest possible structure, which happens to be the one that she's already in um because it's the weirdest built warehouse of all time that happens to have a chimney the size of its own skyscraper. Chimney to heaven.
01:21:17
Speaker
And so ah she's about to throw herself off and he's like, please don't please for the like I can't handle another person throwing themselves off a building in front of me. I just can't. It's not good for me. But of course, like she decides she doesn't want to die. And then the wind, because you know how the winds are when you're up in in heaven. in You know, they're getting it may have been a passing airliner that like whoosh.
01:21:46
Speaker
It was a jet turbine. You're right. You're right. it was you got to When you're on your way to Valhalla, you gotta watch out for the jet turbines. So, uh, she falls. He catches her. Hooray for love. He can see that the light that was up there was red all along.
01:22:04
Speaker
um ends on a great comedic beat ends on a great comedic beat where you hear Hector screaming ah from inside like guys I'm still nailed to the wall here please help me get down I let it run through the credits as I was just sitting there so processing this movie after all the credits of go by you hear Hector scream one more time I'm still down here you fucking daffodils yep yep End scene. So here's the question. Earlier in the movie when Bruce Willis comes across the artist's dead body and he like has the moment where he's like, oh shit, it was red, it's blood. Did he actually briefly get his vision back and then lose it again?
01:22:56
Speaker
Or is that just for us, the audience? Because here it's pretty clear that he can now see that the light is red. And oh, I got my vision back because I i resolved my trauma somehow. So no, because the what he was sitting in was green paint. Yes.
01:23:17
Speaker
And so, no, I don't think he saw it. like I didn't process that he thought that was blood until you said it at the beginning of the podcast. It is so much blood. That was paint. Wasn't he just sitting in paint? He thought it was paint and then it cuts to like a wide and it's blood everywhere.
01:23:35
Speaker
See, i I guess I didn't gather that because too, when we see the dead body, like he's been graffitied all over and painted on. yeah And it didn't seem like he had been cut up, right? Like he was just strangled. He was, but then it i they mentioned that he has been like bled out.
01:23:52
Speaker
Okay. Oh, cause well, yeah. Cause obviously like, you know, Dale is the killer. And like, when he's talking to Bruce Willis about what he's going to do to him, he's talking about how like, I'm going to do this and then I'm going to sand your skin off. And I'm going to like, yeah he's getting like pretty intense and graphic with Dale's fucked up.
01:24:11
Speaker
yeah I guess I had to kill him was because it was getting to be too obvious that all these people had fucked the same woman and it was gonna like their secret was gonna come out I guess when they realized that Richie wasn't a boy because they'd all had sex with her
01:24:28
Speaker
And then he was worried that that was going to ruin his whole plot. Look, there's so much that we like sort of skimmed over because this movie has way too much shit in it. Like there's there's stuff going on every single second. You should really check it out for yourself ah if you have not already.
01:24:48
Speaker
um Because we there's just there's no way as you pointed out Garrett you almost miss talking about the the RC Tank driving up her tummy in the bathtub Like that in any other movie that would have been top of the list of things to talk about Yeah, that would have been a 20-minute section on the podcast that I had like shit ready to go, but you know, that there's so much nudity, there's so much weirdness. Honestly, the it really is though, it's bad writing and the weirdness of the writing. yeah like yeah just yourre It boggles the mind, but then yeah, there's so much sex as well that it just hits you with something that just kind of distracts you from the shittiness.
01:25:36
Speaker
I really wish that we had watched this with a therapist near us to be like, and that's a violation, and that's an ethics violation, and that's a HIPAA violation, and that's another ethics violation. Just to really go through all the details of just how terrible these people are at therapy.
01:26:01
Speaker
ah This isn't
Director's Cut Discussion
01:26:03
Speaker
streaming anywhere, folks. There was not a single site I could find. Do you know how happy I am to have paid the $4 to rent it? Perfectly delighted. Honestly, I regret not paying the $18 to own it. Well, now you've got a chance to go track down the Director's Cut and own that instead. So I guess ah from what I saw, it looked like in 2023, the Director's Cut at one point was available on the Criterion channel.
01:26:31
Speaker
God bless you criterion channel. So like, what what did we miss? did it Did you find out what? What was cut? I mean, it really seemed it was it was more boobs because God, it was. did Oh, no, don't take those away. Well, they're the most gratuitous sex scene they cut two full minutes of. It was literally we watched half of the sex scene and if the director wanted to see. but Already felt like I was watching pornography and not like there's an R rated movie.
01:27:05
Speaker
Yeah, there's a site that shows scene by scene and tells you producers cut, directors cut, and there were four separate cuts of this movie. um There was the producers cut, which was the theatrical, there was like an international cut that was like the producers cut, but with more nudity than the directors cut, and then the unrated directors cut, which had the most of everything. like But yeah, it seemed like- That one's the Sunday with all the toppings.
01:27:37
Speaker
Well, I think in this one, it did seem like we get Sonya and we find out that Bonnie is Rose. It seemed like we get more scenes of the other patients interacting with their girlfriend. Oh, okay. Sure, sure, sure. Which is so unnecessary. like you really it's You don't need to keep seeing... the fact that they all have the same girlfriends. It's it is like reading Jekyll and Hyde being like, just get to the point that the same person. So I see where the producer was. And I also see where like the MPAA was not going to let two more minutes of gratuitous sex. I'm sad.
01:28:17
Speaker
That is sad that they cut that. But from what I understand, they did there is a company that released the unrated directors cut on Blu-ray a few years ago. I'm assuming probably not in print any anymore. We should track that down. 100%. This, for anybody, should get thrown into a bad movie night rotation. this is Absolutely.
MPAA Ratings Reflection
01:28:38
Speaker
OK, so the picture you showed me of Bruce Willis' donger, um I want to say,
01:28:46
Speaker
I don't know enough about the MPAA. Are you allowed to show a non-erect penis more than an erect one? Because it seems outrageous that it would not be fully hard the second that that woman took her dress off.
01:29:06
Speaker
And so my question is, is that because like litter like I now that I think about it, every time we've watched one of these and we've seen a dick, it is flaccid. Is that a rule? Yeah.
01:29:20
Speaker
Like you can't show an erect penis and like it really wasn't, we didn't see penises very often in movies until Jason Siegel and Judd Apatow kind of cracked the code on showing penises and forgetting Sarah Marshall where like if a penis is flaccid and being used for comedy, it is more likely to be able to be shown in the movie than in a sexual situation.
01:29:46
Speaker
Oh, and here we thought it was so sexist that they wouldn't that they that they show more, like because there's a thing about like ah showing ah going down on a woman is like more likely to be censored than going down on a man. and But here, ah the dick is being censored, and I'm sad about it. Yeah, that's why I think that's why it's such a big deal when we do see one in these movies, because it's just something got by the MPAA. And it seems like a lot of the time, too,
01:30:16
Speaker
Things with the MPAA can be pretty arbitrary on like what they allow and don't. I mean, do you think that this movie went the same route that like kind of broke our brains where the MPAs watching it and it was just like mind boggled by everything else that when they get to the end of the like, well, I mean, it's definitely not PG. It's R, I guess. It's definitely not. But like also was that was.
01:30:39
Speaker
Was he a ghoul? Was he a ghoul? Yeah. And like after they pass at R and they're all just sitting there dumbfounded and it's already gone. And one of them's like, wait, did that army tank drive through her pubes?
01:30:54
Speaker
All right, Garrett, I think we're we're ready for it. Scale of one to five, were you aroused?
Jane March's Performance and Director's Style
01:31:01
Speaker
Jane March was beautiful. Gorgeous. She was a beautiful lady and went to such great heights for such a shitty, stupid movie. Poor Jane March. I don't know that I ever saw her in anything ever again. And I don't know that I had prior to this, but the lengths that she was willing to go and I hope that things were fine for her and that nothing weird happened. Like that's the fear with all. Always. Always. I'm just like.
01:31:32
Speaker
God, I hope that this was not a terrible experience for you, but taking it as what it is, the you know the art it stands as it is, gi me give me a goddamn number, Garrett.
01:31:43
Speaker
Thanks to the pubes hadn't seen it before. So he went down, she went down, tits on the glass, saw his dick, not in this version, but online. i What color are my nipples? The cooking and the thing. but Five, kid, five. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to go full five, but it's like 4.75. Like um it's so close.
01:32:10
Speaker
ah I mean, good. Like I was really surprised by how good the sex scenes are because it's a bad movie. But these sex scenes are done with love and care and craft. Yeah. And he does like there's the director throughout this movie does very he does like similar shots over and over again, where you can tell he's trying to make it his thing. Yep.
01:32:39
Speaker
I don't know, he definitely came in where he's like, this is my style, what do you think? And you're like, yeah. And I'm not necessarily attracted to Bruce Willis, like I never have been one to find him particular, like he's fine, um but it's never been my particular thing, but like, he ain't getting in the way, you know?
01:33:02
Speaker
He might be a dumb therapist, but Dude knows how to go downtown. Dude knows how to go downtown. Dude knows how to lick a k nip. Good for him. The underwater shots were very well done. Really gritty. They were really well done and it looked fun. yeah i was you It's a movie where you're a little jealous. Yeah. Yeah, same. All right. Well, Garrett, were you thrilled?
01:33:34
Speaker
I guess I'll go two, but that might feel low. The snake did get me. ah I don't know why I wasn't expecting the snake. The car chase was good. I was never really worried if anyone was gonna die. And I think even if I hadn't gotten it immediately spoiled as soon as I met the Jane March character.
01:33:54
Speaker
I think I still would have known really quick. Just not that. I think the next time I saw Richie and saw the teeth, I'd be like, oh, that's the same thing. It's clearly the same person. But I got it spoiled so fast. It's hard for me to say, but I also think it treats us like such fucking idiots that it's hard to say this movie is thrilling. I just enjoy
Plot Over-Explanation
01:34:18
Speaker
it.
01:34:18
Speaker
I think that's fair is that like ah because you're not spending I mean we ended up because our brains were filling in the gaps with smart ideas instead of dumb ideas that we did spend more time having to think about it than we should have but other than that the mystery itself is not is not that compelling It's too long. Like, I don't really want to see a two and a half hour version of this, but I also really, really do. Really do. And there's so many red herrings because there's so many people in the group that could have been the killer that it feels really unnecessary. You never really take many of them seriously. But at the same time, you're like, yeah, I guess the detective could have been the killer. He's a psychopath.
01:35:05
Speaker
Why not? So it's trying a little too hard both to over explain things to us and to unnecessarily confuse us. Yeah, you're never really all that scared for Bruce Willis's life. But that but I mean, the nails at the end, like, yeah, and that was that was pretty intense. The whole final bit was, you know, well done end of a thriller height of a horror movie totally area. So, you know, it's not like get it really Yeah, it's well done. or You get some some cool deaths, some cool fights. So we're not fights, but like, whatever was going on with the Assassin's Creed blades popping out like that's fun. I would say don't forget the scream. ah So yeah, I'm gonna give it a three and a half. And Garrett, would you ruin your life for Rose?
Character Dynamics and Throuple
01:36:02
Speaker
Kit, if you and I were in that therapist circle, her you and I would be getting coffee, talking about how hot and awesome our girlfriend is. We should go on a double date. We should. ah I think at that point it's a throuple, Garrett, ah and which I'm okay with. if if If being with her means I have to share her with my entire Monday night group therapy, I'll do it.
01:36:31
Speaker
Yeah, I would be a little worried about Casey's sexual history and how clean he is. Right. I'm going to need to wear protection. I want to make sure we're getting tested for STDs. A dental dam might have to come into play. A dental dam might have to come into play, but at the same time, I'm still willing to do it. I'm willing.
01:36:56
Speaker
I do like that you and I like discover we have the same girlfriend and it's like, well, I don't really wanna leave her. No, she's so cute. I guess we can just do this Mormon thing, but would she- Oh my God, we'll be sister wives, Garrett. I've always wanted to be sister wives with you. Because Richie's the real man in the relationship. Absolutely.
01:37:23
Speaker
What would your chameleon traits be when she becomes chameleon girlfriend to you? Oh, right. Because that's the thing is that she takes on the different personalities of whoever. So when she's with ah Brad Dorff, she's like super clean. And when she's he's dirty and thinks he's dirty. And when she's with ah the shopaholic girl, she's always like, girl, treat yourself. You know, I think.
01:37:48
Speaker
for me, she would want to read fantasy smut novels with me and talk about how hot all all the fairy ah sex is. um She would cook me dinner, obviously. um And we would like bake cute desserts together. And she would like she would do really cute little decorations too with the icing to make like little little happy animals and stuff. It would be really cute. And um oh and we would like nerd out over stuff together. We'd watch Lord of the Rings. Listen, ah it's perfect. Garrett, what would she be for you?
01:38:31
Speaker
All of us are really out there just to get a hand job from the hottest version of ourselves. So true. So true. so For you, she'd be like, wrestling. That's my favorite thing ever.
01:38:43
Speaker
Yeah, oh yeah, she would be interested when I talk about wrestling. You know, we're listening to Charlie XCX and Carly Rae Jepsen, but also, you know, she's down to go to hardcore shows with me. um Dumb movies. She doesn't care when she gets blood on her face in the middle of a a show. Yeah, a little blood in a death match is, you know. No big deal. She laughs it out.
01:39:08
Speaker
butde he ah So are we all. We are all daffodils for Rose. No, yeah, I think we'd all ruin our life for Rose because she's designed for us to ruin our life for her. Which is sad when she leaves all of us because she wants to be with Bruce Willis. that Do they stay together? Do you think they don't stay together? Because there's no way Bruce Willis is letting that go.
01:39:37
Speaker
I don't care how many ethical violations he made, he's going to lose his license. I don't even know if he had a license to fucking practice in L.A. He's from New York. He doesn't actually live here. the So who cares if he loses his license because of this girl? He's willing to do it. Good on him. Yeah, he's got a good life ahead of him. I hope that that all works out.
01:40:04
Speaker
is stealing your best friend's life. It has subsides. Scott Bakula had a good life, and it's very rare that in media Scott Bakula has a better life than Bruce Willis. Well, it didn't last for long. ah Thanks for for joining along with us there.
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
01:40:23
Speaker
As always, at Erotic Thriller Club on Instagram, eroticthrillerclubatgmail.com. If you have any questions, comments, concerns,
01:40:32
Speaker
ah Like, rate, review, subscribe, whatever, on whatever platform you're at. And ah obviously, please tell a friend. We love having more people in the club. Garrett, you wanna send us home? Thank you for listening. We love you. We wanna shake you naked, meet you alive.