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Body Heat (1981)
53 Plays9 days ago
After writing Empire Strikes Back and Raiders of the Lost Ark Lawrence Kasdan blessed us with one of the sweatiest, sexiest movies ever made! William Hurt plays a man who is not only moist and incompetent but the most confident man we've ever seen. Kathleen Turner rules in her big screen debut. AND MICKEY ROURKE IS AT HIS PEAK SEXINESS.
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Transcript
Introduction to The Erotic Thriller Club
00:00:00
Speaker
Ladies, gentlemen, folks beyond the binary, grab your husband, wife, partner, mistress, install another window AC unit and gather around the radio. It's time for this week's meeting of The Erotic Thriller Club.
00:00:24
Speaker
antithesis, mysterious and dangerous and oh yes, they've got all the sexiest movies out of the edges so if you're fatally attracted to the raciest stuff, erotic film club basically instinctively crave the salacious erotic film club if you want a raciest movie and you're too classic for smart
00:01:07
Speaker
Welcome to a very sweaty 1980 Florida.
Plot Summary: A Deadly Plan in 1980s Florida
00:01:10
Speaker
We meet a very sweaty incompetent lawyer who has all the confidence and none of the skill, and a leggy rich housewife looking for an affair.
00:01:19
Speaker
Can these two bang, kill her husband, steal his money, and live happily ever after with no slip-ups? This week on the Erotic Thriller Club, Body Heat.
00:01:30
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club. As always, Garrett Callender and Kit Ryan
Central Questions of the Genre
00:01:36
Speaker
here. And this is where we answer the genre's three most important questions. Was I aroused?
00:01:42
Speaker
Was I thrilled? And would i ruin my life for this person? Ooh, ooh, ooh, it is hot in here. and you might notice this episode came out a little late. Like, you're still getting it on the the day just later.
00:01:57
Speaker
We're recording it day of its release because this would have been recorded on the day of the rapture. We wanted to make sure. What's the point of recording another lost episode?
00:02:08
Speaker
So true. Thank you, Garrett, for looking out for us that we didn't go through all that work just to get raptured. And I know you and I were both really thinking that we were going to make it.
00:02:22
Speaker
God, I was looking at the sky or the ground, whatever, just saying, please take us. But knowing my luck, I'd be the one left back.
The Rapture Day Recording: What If We're Left Behind?
00:02:31
Speaker
You know what?
00:02:32
Speaker
Honestly, It still would have been kind of fun even to be the ones left behind. Yeah, but at some point I'm going to try and figure out electricity and that's not happening.
00:02:43
Speaker
There are at least a couple Satanist electricians who would be sticking around to help us out. You know that's true. I'm just over here sticking wires and potatoes and kind of hooking the batteries.
00:02:57
Speaker
Yeah. What was that movie? Oh, God, it was was a Johnny Depp. It was some movie where like he's a super intelligent AI and then he like destroys the Internet at the end of the movie.
00:03:10
Speaker
And yeah they're like, well, the Internet's gone. So we're going to end this movie showing that computers are useless and no one has electricity. And I'm like, you know, you can make electricity from a potato. Right, guys?
00:03:21
Speaker
Like we had electricity for 100 years before the Internet. I think we could figure it out.
00:03:28
Speaker
One, that movie was fucking terrible. And he was in that movie for like three minutes. And I feel like the movie was only a half hour, but felt like it lasted three years. Absolutely.
00:03:39
Speaker
No, for sure. I'm going to be out there with a little colonial ass ponytail, a key on a kite and just be like, I remember this is where it started. I don't remember how we got to where we are now.
00:03:51
Speaker
You just got to follow the steps you remember starting at the beginning and then just sort of see where it logically progresses. I have a feeling there's going to be, if you drive around the United States looking for more survivors, ah you're going to see a lot of dumb men attached to keys and guides just laying about.
00:04:12
Speaker
I love the idea of you having your son hooked up to a little hamster wheel that's like generating electricity. So he's just in there plodding along.
00:04:23
Speaker
You're dangling a little pumpkin in front of him and just watching him go. either way, I'm still wearing Ben Franklin knickers. You can't those pants off of me. Absolutely.
00:04:36
Speaker
i know some people- Some people are waiting for the apocalypse so they can dress like it's Mad Max times and they can wear the, you know, the football pads and the, you know, masks and the, no, Garrett's been waiting to go back to the knickers.
00:04:54
Speaker
It's not socially acceptable for me to wear them out and about right now. And I need a situation where I can feel, I just feel like I can be me, you know?
00:05:06
Speaker
So true. That's what we're all really looking for. You know what the apocalypse and this movie have in common? Oh, what do they have in common, Garrett?
Setting the Scene: Florida's Heat and Tension
00:05:15
Speaker
It's going to be so hot.
00:05:17
Speaker
It's going to be so hot. I've never seen, i think, a sweatier movie. This has to be the sweatiest movie, right? That we've done so far, possibly of all time. If they're handing out awards, lifetime achievement Oscars, give it to them for the sweatiest of all movies. The music sounds sweaty.
00:05:37
Speaker
Like you're right. Like it actually sounds like there's condensation coming off a saxophone. as it music Which is different bodily fluids than we got on the last saxophone that we talked about on this podcast.
00:05:58
Speaker
Oh, Yeah, you're right. That was in sexy saxophone movies. I mean, the movie does start with saxophone and just wet saxophone blasted at Like if you saw this in 40X, the water mister wouldn't quit spraying.
00:06:14
Speaker
They would also need to keep it 80 degrees in the movie theater for you to truly experience it. And anytime they're having sex, the seats are just vibrating. Oh, yeah. Oh, whit man.
00:06:28
Speaker
I don't think anybody's really looked into how you could use 4DX in a ah erotic thriller type situation. And I think there are so many possibilities.
00:06:39
Speaker
We might find out. I saw that pretty soon they're releasing Rocky Horror Picture Show in 4DX. And I have a feeling that my seat's going to tickle my butthole a little bit.
00:06:50
Speaker
It better. Otherwise, you should demand your money back. I do think that the way this movie starts, because you mentioned the music, great noir music. I mean, this movie is straight up Lawrence Kasdan making a noir.
00:07:04
Speaker
that He loved double indemnity. This is his double indemnity. Absolutely. and And the vibes of this are so immaculate.
00:07:15
Speaker
Honestly, you really feel every frame of it. You you feel the noir vibes. You feel the heat. It's perfect. The thing didn't understand... ah Okay, let's discuss this.
00:07:28
Speaker
Garrett, when it's like 90 degrees out and there's you're there's no AC... Because for some reason, even though I'm pretty sure air conditioning had been invented in Florida in 1980, for some reason it doesn't exist here. So it's so hot.
00:07:48
Speaker
Are you also horny? Or does the idea of another, like touching another human body sound utterly disgusting at that point? Because... Right...
00:08:00
Speaker
I could see both ways on this because I do think that no one looks sexier than when they're a little wet. Like if you're just a little glistening, that amps it up a little bit.
00:08:12
Speaker
hundred That being said, the way I would feel in my pants, in my pantaloons, in my knickers, whatever I'm wearing in my apocalypse... the swamp that exists down there.
00:08:24
Speaker
Plus these folks aren't used to this. They compliment so many times that this is a town known for its cool breeze and it just didn't show up this summer. I don't know. I mean, i guess I would still be okay with the sex as long as everything stayed upstairs.
00:08:45
Speaker
You know, like mountain. That would mean that you were unsatisfied and and as well as too hot. That can't be what you're going for.
00:08:58
Speaker
This man is obviously not somebody who is thinking about his own comfort. Multiple times in this movie, we see him take insane jogs. It's so hot outside.
00:09:10
Speaker
One of them, he's wearing a polo shirt and running shorts.
Character Analysis: The Charming yet Incompetent Lawyer
00:09:13
Speaker
That's insane. But at the end of each jog, he does the same thing. He is huffing and puffing out of breath and then immediately smokes a cigarette while coughing.
00:09:23
Speaker
Yes, because listen, he needs to keep that body so that he can keep attracting the ladies. ah But also he does not actually care about his health. But yes, it the time when he jogs in the middle of the night is the only one that makes sense to me.
00:09:41
Speaker
Jogging in broad, hot daylight sun. Oof, man. Oof. This, I'm happy you did bring up, you know, just like, could I handle the sweat?
00:09:53
Speaker
Because during the sex scenes, I mean, there was just an ashtray with a hundred cigarettes stubbed out. And all I could think is, this is probably the stinkiest movie we've watched since um Original Sin.
00:10:08
Speaker
Like, that room sweat, cigarettes, and then just sex fumes. Like, that isn't good. I mean, I've listened to, it was the guy who directed, off the top of my head, I can't think of the Addams Family movies in Men in Black.
00:10:24
Speaker
He has a chapter in his first book about how he got his start directing porn. Or not directing, but like shooting. And he talked about the stench being so bad in those sets that he had gone out and vomited in the street before.
00:10:41
Speaker
Wow. So I can't imagine what was happening here. It can't be good. Then again, she did wash the sheets always like immediately afterwards to get rid of the evidence.
00:10:55
Speaker
still though persona housekeeper yeah yeah but's let's let's talk about our stars yes please William Hurt, Kathleen Turner. This is Kathleen Turner's first movie.
00:11:07
Speaker
And prior to this, her acting experience was like a million episodes in a single year of a ah like ah a soap opera when she was a kid. Well, she'd also been in the theater as well, doing theater work, apparently.
00:11:23
Speaker
um But God, she's gorgeous. And she's really playing up the Lauren Bacall ah sultry voice, the deep huskiness. the but She's great.
00:11:36
Speaker
Very leggy, very attractive. This is absolutely a great breakout performance, at least for film. i would Absolutely. And the meet-cute, I guess, ah is that they're at an outdoor symphony, and in the middle of the performance, she just gets up and walks away. And in a sea of sweaty, miserable people, she's there and in this gorgeous white dress.
00:12:03
Speaker
She looks phenomenal. She doesn't even look bothered by the heat. And obviously, our lead, who is, by the way, named Ned,
00:12:15
Speaker
I don't know how I felt about that one necessarily as far as a romantic leads name. Ned didn't really. This guy's a fucking dunce, though. Like, i yeah like yeah, he's no shade to William Hurt.
00:12:33
Speaker
He is sexy in this movie. 100%, he looks great, but that sleazy mustache, we meet him and the the and see him at his job for the first time, and the judge is like telling him he's an idiot, and ah the his prosecutor buddy, Ted Danson, is like, I'm pretty sure you're using your incompetence as a weapon, and someday it is going to bite you in the ass.
00:13:04
Speaker
Yes. I want to ask you this. As far as that goes, is he is he using incompetence as a tool where it can help win him things and make things work out in his favor for crimes?
00:13:17
Speaker
Or is he truly an incompetent lawyer? Because to me, this guy seems incompetent. Okay, so a lot of stuff goes back to this previous case where a a will got contested because he'd made some mistake while writing it up.
00:13:35
Speaker
And the judge, like, hates him for it and thinks he's a big idiot. And it doesn't seem like, there's no evidence that that was a plan.
00:13:46
Speaker
That that was on purpose. It seems like that was genuinely a mistake. Now, everybody makes mistakes in their professional lives. Uh... But yeah, I get the feeling that this is a guy who gets by on charm. Like he's always charming the ladies and having his one night stands. And I think that the judge correctly has pegged him as someone who is used to sort of just talking his way out of problems without actually bothering to do any legwork.
00:14:17
Speaker
To actually make it happen. So I think, yes, he is lazy and he is not good at his job. He just wants to take the easy way out every time.
00:14:29
Speaker
And I think that's part of what makes him a good mark for our for our femme fatale. A hundred percent. Which, because before that, i mean, he is seems to be a poor lawyer because, one, he's not winning cases.
00:14:45
Speaker
and He's in a small town. i don't know I love, back to the meet cute, though. I love when they meet. It is essentially a why the last man situation, except she's the last person in town who doesn't stink.
00:14:59
Speaker
Like, she's... She's the only person there who isn't sopping wet using old timey fan to fan themselves at the, the old the last time we saw a band shell in one of these movies was that stripper movie that was in the scariest part of town where there were like six Frazier cranes braving the crime. Yeah.
00:15:19
Speaker
ah the
00:15:23
Speaker
Yeah, and she, um he even says, like, I know you're not from around here. I would have seen you before because he would have recognized that you are the only a person here who seems to constantly have a cool breeze on her from somewhere.
00:15:40
Speaker
like everybody else, there's no hair moving hers. Like the wind is going and she's looking good She's quite literally a breath of fresh air. Well, Andy's already had sex with every other woman in town.
00:15:54
Speaker
He has sex with each of them a singular time. And he just, he's gotta do it. he He's a shark. He just has to keep moving forward. and Or he'll die.
00:16:05
Speaker
Uh, They have really great banter with each other. ah She opens. The first thing she says to him when he's like trying to chatter up is I'm a married woman. And he says, so what?
00:16:18
Speaker
And she says, so I'm not looking for company. And his response is, then you should have said I'm a happily married woman.
00:16:28
Speaker
oh man. Now I'm going to suck a sweaty penis, too. oh I get it. That's that's good. ah Buy that woman a snow cone, William Hurt. Buy that woman a snow cone.
00:16:40
Speaker
She's saying her husband's out of town. He says, my favorite kind. He only comes up on weekends. I'm liking him better all the time. It's great.
00:16:51
Speaker
Their banter is so cute. You can see how he wins women over, even though he has a creepy mustache and he's bad at his job and he's very poor. You can see how it works. And she says to him, you're not too smart.
00:17:03
Speaker
I like that in a man.
00:17:06
Speaker
so you're not too smart, are you? Then what does he say? Like, lazy, horny. He's like, no, I'm ah i'm lazy, horny, dumb, dumb, stupid, R-worded. like... Ugly.
00:17:19
Speaker
What else you want? I got them all.
00:17:24
Speaker
I love that he when he goes to the bathroom and there is a kid in there just smoking weed, looking like he's the ah like the the bathroom attendant. I don't know what that man was doing. That was a dirty, dirty bathroom. And that kid, i did not, I guess it's just because he didn't want to see anyone to see him smoking weed.
00:17:43
Speaker
Honestly, if this guy had really been ah a hustler of a lawyer, you would have slipped him a business card. Like, Hey man, if you get caught with that stuff, hit me up. Can you imagine going and smoking weed in a hot bathroom?
00:17:55
Speaker
i don't like it. Why? He didn't want to get caught. It's 1980. Yeah.
00:18:02
Speaker
Oh, yeah. And ah at what point in this, Ted Danson says that oral sex is not illegal. And it turns out that was not true. I believe it wasn't until 2002 that oral sex is not illegal.
00:18:15
Speaker
Oh, my God. That was that had to have been a thing that they only pulled out to harass gay people. Right. Like that was what that was for. yeah that makes sense. yeah ah But yeah, so they've got she spills snow cone on herself.
00:18:31
Speaker
ah He gets her, you know, goes into the bathroom to get her a towel to mop it up. and And she's disappeared. Oh, so mysterious. And he basically spends the next couple of days just kind of like stalking out the places where he's seen her.
00:18:49
Speaker
And she's not there. She doesn't go back to the concert anymore. ah So he had figured out that she's from like the rich, the richer part of town like that or the next town over.
00:19:00
Speaker
So he goes to like the one bar over there to just like see if he can run into her. Are we basically in the town from Wild Things?
00:19:11
Speaker
Because wasn't there like rich town, poor town and like the rich people were over here and like this seems to be a common a common thread. I don't know. We're both from small towns. Was there a rich town the next town over? No, there was not.
00:19:25
Speaker
No, but we also weren't from Florida. Maybe this is a Florida thing. Neither of us are Floridians. So maybe there's like the poor town where all the people live. And then there's the town that's nice enough that like vacationers go there.
00:19:38
Speaker
And so they get the extra money. yeah yeah Maybe that's a thing. So finally stocks after he's done having his, his parade of smoking cigarettes at every location in town where Kathleen Turner might be hanging out.
00:19:53
Speaker
This guy, like, we've not seen a character smoke like this in a minute. This is a movie where 90% of the characters in this movie are ripping butts. The whole movie. Just, like, uncomfortably. I am not a smoker.
00:20:07
Speaker
I have never smoked um cigarettes, so I don't know what the, you know, vibe is. and Are you more likely to want it if it's hot outside, Garrett? Is that a thing?
00:20:19
Speaker
Not in my experience, but like he is like sucking air because you can tell the air is hot in this town. It is heavy. It is not going down easy. And he's coughing.
00:20:30
Speaker
Like, are they killing William Hurt by making him actually smoke cigarettes as they make this movie? Maybe. is he Or does he have an undiagnosed lung cancer that we don't know about yet in this movie that is just underneath the the story?
00:20:45
Speaker
i I don't know, but it is a problem. And you know what? If you're a person who's trying to quit and seeing people smoking in a movie is going to make you want to pick it up, don't watch this one. ah Real yucky tasting kisses in this one.
00:21:00
Speaker
Yeah, he runs into her in the bar and, you know, he sits next to her and this bar is filled with skeezy guys who've been eyeing her all night. And yet the seat next to her is open because none of them had the the the chutzpah to to come sit next to her.
00:21:18
Speaker
And so ah she's sort of like, I should get out of here. I'll take you. i have a car. I'll follow you. This man is so persistent.
00:21:32
Speaker
And ah she asks him if he can leave slightly ah before her so no one sees them leave together. and he's like, well, we've been chatting, so it might still look bad. And so she slaps him purely for appearances sake and then goes and sits somewhere else so that he leaves after that.
00:21:51
Speaker
So she's meticulous in a way that this half-assed man could never be i'm not a good enough to detective or lawyer and once again two confident and it comes through in this next scene with a level of confidence that is unrealistic not real a criminal level of confidence and But the thing they're going back to is her house for, she discusses her wind chime collection.
00:22:22
Speaker
Yes. And he wants to see them. And when they get to her house and he played with those wind chimes, my pussy dried up again. There is nothing...
00:22:38
Speaker
less sexy than watching a grown mustachioed man play with bunch of wingtons. It was so dumb. and I hated him in that moment.
00:22:50
Speaker
It was exactly in the same way that a nine-year-old would do. I'm going to say nine specifically because a toddler would have been like banging on him constantly.
00:23:01
Speaker
But like a kind of sassy sort of ah mouthy nine-year-old would have like hit them all in the exact same sort of I don't know what I'm doing here, what I'm supposed to be doing. So I guess I'll just hit a bunch of wind chimes kind of way.
00:23:17
Speaker
yeah yeah're Right. He's there filling time. He's like, are we going to start kissing? I guess I got to play with these wind chimes I wanted to, pretended to want to see. i love that for you though, that that was such a turn off because for me, I was, ah was just like, yeah, this guy's trying to desperately to come up with something to do while he can't think about anything other than diving into this woman's pussy head first.
00:23:46
Speaker
He looked too stupid while he was doing it. Like his face looked like, like he started it as a thing to fill time. And then he liked the tankles it was making. And then it became like, I wonder if this one tinkles better than the last.
00:24:00
Speaker
And I was just like, Jesus Christ, don't fuck this man, please. Fuck him tomorrow. Like he is handsome, but he needs to cool it on the wind chimes and maybe he needs to wait a night.
00:24:10
Speaker
So once we hit him being done tinkling on the wind chimes, then she basically kicks him out of the house. Like this is because he is being creepy in the house. He's fallen or too close up the stairs. He's it is not subtle what he wants to do in the house.
00:24:26
Speaker
I mean, as it wasn't with the conversation at the bar, he should have never gotten to come home. But she kicks him out. And this leads to, I mean, I had seen this movie before, and this is a moment I've never forgotten seeing this insane movie.
Intrusion and Passion: Breaking Boundaries
00:24:43
Speaker
He goes back to his car after getting kicked out, stands by his car and ponders to himself and thinks. Pondering. Yeah. There's no way she meant to kick me out.
00:24:55
Speaker
This woman wants to have sex with me. know it. This was an accident. This was a mistake. This was a goof. Surely she wants me to come back.
00:25:06
Speaker
Comes back. The door is locked. And he sees her through the window looking at him and he's like, no. Mistake, accident. She doesn't know how to unlock this. She's trapped. She's in danger.
00:25:17
Speaker
There's another door. Locked. This one's locked too. Goes to window, looks at her and like, no, no, I know this is the right thing. With all the confidence in my heart and penis, I know I must pick up this stool, smash this window and fuck this woman.
00:25:36
Speaker
And you know what? It works. And honestly, it's it's ingenious the way she is setting this up, because she needs for this for her master plan to work.
00:25:48
Speaker
She needs a guy who is willing to throw a stool through a window in order to have sex with her. That is the level of dedication she needs in a man. And so she like tested him and he passed.
00:26:02
Speaker
Yeah. That is a great test. yeah It's an insane test that he got there. i mean, thinking back to me in college, like any woman who would throw themselves at me, I'd be like, well, that's obviously not what she wants. I will go home now alone.
00:26:18
Speaker
This man was just like, no, I going to smash this window. i mean have sex with this woman. And it's a hundred percent what she wants. There was no doubt in his, heat there was no thought. It was two locked doors, smash a window.
00:26:31
Speaker
Yes, and somehow he knew that like when I get through this window, even though I am looking so creepy right now and what I'm doing is, by any objective standard, super not okay, I know that she's going to be super into it once I smash this window.
00:26:49
Speaker
And he was correct. What's the... What's she going say to the cleaning lady the next day? She's like, a fucking seagull ran and into it. I don't know. It's crazy. Yeah. Why isn't there blood everywhere and feathers?
00:27:01
Speaker
I don't know. Just say like some some punk kids did it. You can blame anything on punk kids. That's true. It was that that that that naughty youth smoking a cig in the bathroom on the boardwalk. Yes, that guy did it.
00:27:18
Speaker
This sex scene kit hu is not crazy explicit. But very sexy. It is extremely sexy. Here's the thing i don't understand.
00:27:30
Speaker
How does this woman in this palatial house, and it is, it is a beautiful, huge house, not have central air?
00:27:42
Speaker
no No air conditioning at all, as far as we can tell. Like, later we see them in a, they are taking a literal ice bath to cool down. How is there no air conditioning in this house?
00:27:55
Speaker
You built a house in Florida and you decided to put million dollars in, in 1980s money, millions of dollars in, and you didn't install air conditioning?
00:28:08
Speaker
Hey, they built a house in a town famously known for its cool breezes. Famously. And this guy didn't get rich just throwing his money away. We built it with a lot of really big windows, very smashable windows, ah so that you can smash them and let a cross breeze through at any time.
00:28:27
Speaker
That's why it was so easy break that window. And, you know, maybe the the extreme heat has a power outage going and everything else works but the cooling thing.
00:28:39
Speaker
Literally nowhere has AC in this town, though. Everywhere they go sucks. We AC unit, I'm pretty sure. Right? Like, one the the one that's in the diner that they complain isn't, like, good enough.
00:28:51
Speaker
and And other than that, we see a lot of fans. We see a lot of people, like, fanning themselves. But mostly we see people suffering. It's crazy. in that Did you read through, like, any the IMDb trivia or anything on this one?
00:29:07
Speaker
A little bit. Why? What do you what do you we got? It did say that they filmed this in pretty frigid temperatures. And that they just when theying you and when they were filming outdoors, the actors had to suck ice cubes ah beforehand so that you wouldn't see their breath when they were filming.
00:29:28
Speaker
They played out hot so well. They play hot perfectly. I was so feeling that judge in that courtroom being so hot and miserable and wanting to just like wrap this up, people.
00:29:43
Speaker
Get your client to take a deal so we can go home. I'm the only one here in a court-appointed dress. I gotta get the fuck out.
00:29:55
Speaker
Look, even you guys have to wear suits. You cannot be happy here.
00:30:02
Speaker
Yeah, so she's she's ah washing the sheets before the maid sees them. She starts smoking his brand of cigarettes so that no one notices a different brand of cigarettes around.
00:30:16
Speaker
And apparently like a month has gone by of these two hooking up. And the hookups are really good. Right? the The sex scenes aren't as much thrusty and breathy as they are really grabby. Yeah. Like really intense squeezes.
00:30:35
Speaker
Where you say, oh And... I do want to throw in something that happened a little bit ago in that mix of things you were saying. A really dumb bit of dialogue.
00:30:46
Speaker
Where is there just standing out on a porch? And he says, what's that? For no reason. She's like, it's the boathouse. And he's like, huh? First, she says, it's a gazebo.
00:31:00
Speaker
Because there is a very obvious gazebo. And he's like, no. Beyond the gazebo. Which is an equal dumb question because it looks like a tool shed.
00:31:12
Speaker
She says it's a boathouse. He follows up with what's in it. Stop having sex with that man. Or you've actually found the greatest mark of all time.
00:31:23
Speaker
He asked what's inside the boathouse. Yes. She's like, i don't know, old chairs and shit in a boat. She really found the perfect guy in that he has everything. extreme self-confidence, low ah IQ, um ah desperately horny, and... Desperately.
00:31:44
Speaker
Desperately horny, and um ah easily easily manipulated. Like, she she got the... She nailed it. She knocked it out of the park with this guy because he is so dumb.
00:32:00
Speaker
It's really kind of, it's very impressive. ah She should feel so proud of herself that she she nailed it on on her mark. And she found someone so dumb that he is like, we gotta kill this guy.
00:32:15
Speaker
Absolutely. And here's the thing is it needs to be his idea. And the cop that he has a cop buddy as well as a ah as well as his cop buddy lawyer pal.
00:32:28
Speaker
Yeah, cop buddy lawyer pal. And the cop buddy is like, listen, man, the heat makes people do crazy things. It makes people think that the rules don't apply anymore. And i'm i'm I'm guessing that what our hero heard was the rules don't apply anymore.
00:32:47
Speaker
I love that after they commit this crime, no one thinks he's innocent. His best friends are just like, this fucking idiot definitely did it. There's no way Ned didn't do this.
00:33:00
Speaker
This has Ned written all over it. This is Ned shit. Like classic Ned. Classic Ned.
00:33:12
Speaker
Uh, so he meets her friend Marianne by saying, hey lady, you wanna fuck? And she turns around and it is a different but nearly identical looking lady.
00:33:25
Speaker
And that really just is to set up the fact that this woman exists for a later. It's not all that important. But they they're talking about, ah you know, my husband's so rich and i wish he would die. But oh, let's not talk about it. But like, oh, if only he would die. But like, obviously we shouldn't talk about such things.
00:33:46
Speaker
She's like planting the seeds. It's great. I love that he comes to the conclusion himself, but also at this point in the movie, her husband's a fine person at this point. Like we find out later, we don't know anything about him, but there's nothing he has done that makes it even a little okay that this is happening.
00:34:09
Speaker
She's not even bothering to to lie and say like, oh, and he hits me sometimes to like really make him want to do it. No, she's just straight up like, well, I've signed a prenup, so I wouldn't get any of the money if fee if we divorce. So here, have a jaunty hat.
00:34:29
Speaker
even Even William Hurt is like, I'm not going to lie. Like I was really hoping to get in on some of that money, but I guess that's okay. Like, and he's not joking.
00:34:39
Speaker
He doesn't have a hint of like he was goofing. Like he does like banging this lady, but he's not going to just kill. gar he needs to kill for money because he needs some money to buy a goddamn window. AC unit.
00:34:55
Speaker
Garrett, he needs it so badly. He can't afford to just keep getting snow cones every night. if this isn't This isn't sustainable.
00:35:08
Speaker
Not to mention their ice budget must be outrageous considering all the ice baths they have to take. So we meet ah the niece, Heather, which is her husband's niece.
00:35:20
Speaker
And oh my God, this scene. This scene. She calls Ned, says, don't come she's There's a little girl staying here. And he comes by anyway.
00:35:32
Speaker
And what what does this poor little girl...
00:35:37
Speaker
get to see and tell all her friends about back at school, I'm assuming. She saw Auntie sucking off a dum-dum on the porch.
00:35:48
Speaker
of Mm-hmm. Aunt Maddie's giving a bead. The sweatiest bead. He was hiding outside shirtless in the shadows lurking. Mm-hmm.
00:36:01
Speaker
He really did have a sweet deal. Like I see why he fell for this. It was all going too well. And he's somebody that things haven't not worked out for enough other than court cases, which seemed to be fine because he's still getting work.
00:36:18
Speaker
that's how you so he still He still gets clients and he occasionally does get those clients off. Like the process, he's friends with the prosecutor. So the prosecutor offers him sweet deals for his clients.
00:36:32
Speaker
Like he doesn't get anywhere in this life by being competent. He gets it by having friends. Yeah. Cause once again, he's charming. He seemed like an okay hang.
00:36:44
Speaker
Which is why he hates that one judge who doesn't fall for his charms. I don't want to hang out with him. hates
00:36:55
Speaker
fun. Also, he every lady in town has slept with him. Mm-hmm.
00:37:01
Speaker
So he runs into her and her husband at this fancy restaurant and the hubby invites him to join because he's like, oh his the wife says like, oh, he had a client who was interested in buying our house. Remember this lawyer? So he's meeting them thinking that ah the the husband thinks that this is just an and a local lawyer, which might be a nice guy to know.
00:37:29
Speaker
So he invites him to come. And then Garrett, I'm sure that you've had this experience where you are out with your lovely wife um and you are having dinner with a ah man that you've just met and your wife goes to the bathroom.
00:37:45
Speaker
And so the first thing you say about ah your wife is like, oh, isn't she great? If I thought she was cheating on me, I'd kill the guy with my bare hands. You have to let him know.
00:38:00
Speaker
You gotta let him know. This is a normal conversation, right? Like this is, i right? Even fully clothed, you can tell how sexy William Hurt is just from the sweat glistening down his face and this sweaty, fancy restaurant.
00:38:16
Speaker
The restaurant might not have been too sweaty. He's a handsome guy. I don't want to make it seem like he isn't. This is a guy that looks like you would try and have sex with your wife when you're out of town. Absolutely. He was right to tell him this.
00:38:31
Speaker
I mean, obviously he was right to tell him this. The dude is having sex with your wife. And he also doesn't. But I don't think he full trusts his wife. But like, he's also like, I'm out of town. a lot I don't know.
00:38:44
Speaker
I'm just not going to mention it. We're not going to talk about it. But I will tell this man I don't want it to be him. And he's so delightfully ah cagey. You know, Ned's asking basic get to know you questions like, hey, what do you do for work? And the guy's like, I can't talk about
00:39:03
Speaker
finance stuff. Vague erotic thriller job.
00:39:11
Speaker
Vague hints at a mob connection. ah Real estate. Doesn't matter, I'm rich. it Money, money, money, money.
00:39:22
Speaker
I do money. um I do money things. I make money into more money. I will say thank you to Lawrence Kasdan for not making it seem as dumb as it does sometimes in other movies we've watched. I mean, we do have a very good, we have the guy wrote Empire Strikes Back in Indiana Jones writing in this one. And so, you know, we like him and i think more guys like him. Why don't we get the Christopher Nolan erotic thriller? Why don't we get some of these fancy boys making erotic thrillers? Bring them back.
00:39:51
Speaker
Bring them back. Uh, and so he clearly gives off a vibe of, uh, not a nice guy. He talks about, like, he doesn't respect men who won't do what's necessary and it sounds like he won his wife um when her previous boyfriend came to him with some kind of business deal and he was like what if i screwed you over in the business deal and took your girlfriend and made her my wife so like okay hubby's not a nice guy he's kind of sucks
00:40:29
Speaker
He does also seem like like there's all the hints toward mob connections, but I get the feeling this is a guy who knows one mobster and thinks that that means that he's connected. It's just a guy he met at an Italian restaurant named Freddy Spaghetti.
00:40:44
Speaker
he's just like It's definitely this guy. like This guy, he knows Goddy. I'm in good with the mob.
00:40:56
Speaker
And after that, our man is totally on board. He's meeting up with his lady and saying, we're going to kill him. It's the only way we get everything we want. This man, he says, that man is going to die for no reason, but we want him dead.
00:41:13
Speaker
All right, but a single beach is going to cost him half the money because they got to give it to to her husband's sister as hush money, kind of. Kind of. Yeah. kind of The will as it currently stands ah gives half the money to the niece and half the money to the wife if he should die.
00:41:33
Speaker
And she's already talking about like, ooh, what if you wrote up a will and land like faked it so that I would get all the money or not all the money. I'm not greedy or anything, but just like I don't think that.
00:41:46
Speaker
She needs half of the money. And he's like, any big changes in this dude's life right now is going to seem so suspicious. If we change a dude's will and then he dies like a week later, everyone is going to suspect us.
00:42:04
Speaker
And she's like, oh, you're right. Listen, I'm not that good at law, but I do know. I know a lot of criminals.
00:42:15
Speaker
And it turns out one of the criminals he knows is sexy young Mickey Rourke. This is the hottest Mickey Rourke has ever looked. He's hotter in this than he was in nine and a half weeks. He's gorgeous.
00:42:32
Speaker
His voice, too. it's It's got just a just a nice boy. Like he's a criminal. But he's a nice criminal. He's like, listen, all this guy does is arson. It's not a big deal. You learn a few things down for insurance money. Big deal.
00:42:50
Speaker
The hard cut from him being like, don't worry, I know a guy to Mickey Rourke lip syncing Bob Seger while building a bomb. it' strange It's such an eighties. Like it almost feels like it should have taken place in like risky business or something. Like it is just, just a cute young hunk building a bomb, being cute, lip syncing.
00:43:12
Speaker
This is a different movie that I want to live in. I want to live in that movie full time with Mickey Rourke in that tight black t-shirt. singing along and building a bomb, which if you needed any more evidence that our hero is not exactly a genius, ah he lights up a cigarette in the arson workshop.
00:43:34
Speaker
And Mickey Rourke, the the petty criminal, has to tell his lawyer, hey, don't smoke in here.
00:43:43
Speaker
William Hurt's got a problem. His cigarette problem in this movie is... It's unmatched. It is the only person that it could be compared to is I'm going to just say this out loud.
00:43:54
Speaker
Not your specific, but there's a listener who's gonna like, oh yeah, that's my aunt. My aunt, my aunt smokes like that. where She can't stop herself. Even if she's literally next to a guy building a bomb.
00:44:08
Speaker
It's just a constant need to smoke at the gas station.
00:44:15
Speaker
And yell at any stranger who maybe suggests you shouldn't. And Mickey Rourke warns him not to do it. He's like, guy, i don't think, look, it's going to be really obvious that this is arson.
00:44:28
Speaker
And I, ah do you want me to do whatever arson you're planning? I'll do it for you just as a favor. Cause you got me out of prison that one time and got me off. So like, I'll help you out.
00:44:38
Speaker
But obviously Ned's not going to take him up on it because Ned is also planning a murder that he is not telling Mickey Rourke about. When, oh my God, the murder, the murder, like not even the murder scene, it's the, act like the dumping of the body scene is so like without being graphic, so yucky.
Symbolism: The Clown and the Foolish Protagonist
00:45:03
Speaker
ah there's There's a good, school I'm sorry. We don't have to bounce that far ahead, but it just, my brain immediately. Basically there. ah yeah i mean, there's a clown. That's the only thing in between that I desperately needed to mention. Yeah.
00:45:18
Speaker
I wrote him down he's He's leaving Mickey Rourke's arson workshop and ah sees a clown drive by. And the clown looks not super happy to be there.
00:45:32
Speaker
ah It's a clown on his way to work, absolutely. Yeah. And the movie's getting... like it's Suddenly surreal.
00:45:43
Speaker
I don't know why. We just had a brief surrealistic turn. The music's like amping up because we're about to do a murder and then clown. So Kasdan did say he wanted this movie to feel dreamlike.
00:45:58
Speaker
And I guess that is one instance where that is true. But I will say three separate instances in my life that I have had to slam on my brakes because a man on a unicycle pulled out in front of my car and then would ride away down an alley.
00:46:16
Speaker
This is three times two different towns. No. Not the same man. And I have thought to myself every time this happened, this has happened three times, If they put this in a movie where De Niro and Pacino are just driving down the street in a car and have to slam on their brakes because a man on a unicycle pulled out in front of them.
00:46:37
Speaker
And then they just kept going like it didn't happen. The audience would say that's stupid. That doesn't happen. But it has happened to me three times. So the clown thing isn't that weird, I guess.
00:46:48
Speaker
I could absolutely see it happening in like a David Lynch movie. Yeah. But you would not expect it here. And it is there. And we had to talk about it.
00:47:00
Speaker
Yeah, there's nothing lynching about this. Like, what is this? Do you get anything other, like, other than, like, so you know, sometimes they'll be standing around and there's, like, a haze or a fog to everything. But that does kind of come in later. But there's nothing.
00:47:14
Speaker
This is the most outlandish moment. not much else about it that feels dreamlike because everything else feels very much like it proceeds logically from one thing to the next thing.
00:47:27
Speaker
There's not very much else that's surrealistic in any way. i I think this may be ah ah vestigial organ of a different version of the script maybe that was more dreamlike or more surreal and it got left in i mean it's it ah it's interesting and honestly if you want to look at it from like a symbolic point of view like it's basically the universe telling him you dipshit clown you're getting fucked
00:48:01
Speaker
You're just a clown in a convertible. Just driving around, honking your nose, looking dumb as shit. Yeah, this is you, buddy.
00:48:14
Speaker
So the murderer is whatever. ah he the he look has her husband looks like such an dad. Yes.
00:48:25
Speaker
And I love that she's like, do you want me to call the police? And he's like, I'll take care of it myself. He is one of those guys who has been dreaming of this day when he could shoot an intruder. ah you think I moved to Florida to not stand my ground?
00:48:45
Speaker
Why else would I willingly move to a state where oral genital contact is illegal? Earlier today, I was about to cross the street and I saw a clown in a convertible and I knew it meant something.
00:48:58
Speaker
Something was going to happen today. and it's the I'm going to stand my ground day. Yep. Yep. Yep. and It's it. I don't know. the The murder happens very quickly. whacks him on the head.
00:49:12
Speaker
He's got gun. He's got a gun. and It was really fun because it's like she yells he's got a gun. And it's I both men assume she is talking about like to them, because her husband is definitely like, where? He's got a gun.
00:49:29
Speaker
Oh, Help me, Freddy Spaghetti. yeah as He gets bludgeoned with a loose board from somewhere. Yeah, I don't know where the hell the loose board came from, but it doesn't really matter. We're rolling him up in a tarp and dumping him in the trunk and it's time to go. And he's like, watch out, it's foggy.
00:49:48
Speaker
And then immediately it almost drives into a tree. Almost drives into a tree and then gets in almost two accidents trying to just take an unprotected left.
00:49:59
Speaker
Yes. On to a busy street. Which is really funny because he did say to her to watch out. while driving because it is foggy and because, you know, assuming that a woman can't drive and then he nearly gets into three accidents.
00:50:14
Speaker
I will say his driving a dead body to the place you're going to dump and burn it. For any expecting parents out there, that drive is exactly what it feels like taking your baby home for the first time. like you ah Driving is scary and it feels like you've never done it before.
00:50:33
Speaker
Once you get past that scary, unprotected left onto the busiest street in a fog storm, it's all smooth sailing from there, but you got to get past it. All future trunk bodies, ah it's going to be much easier to dispose of.
00:50:48
Speaker
Easy peasy. He squishes the body with the heaviest board that has fallen over. i almost wish we got to see it because it sounded yucky.
00:51:00
Speaker
That's what I'm talking about. He like sits the body down and lifts a heavy board. So it seems like maybe the building collapsed on him while it was on fire. That squish to his nude body. Yeah.
00:51:13
Speaker
oh Hate it. Yeah. It's not great. But yeah, he sets the the bomb with a timer. ah You know, and this this is a warehouse that belongs to...
00:51:26
Speaker
the guy they just killed yeah this hilarious cartoon bomb so he's hoping it's gonna look like the guy tried to burn his own building down for insurance or something and then died doing it or maybe the mafia killed him either way no one no one will possibly suspect the wife who's about to inherit millions of dollars right yeah but maybe work did warn him like hey cartoon ass bomb they're going to ask questions they will know it is arson and huh is it gonna look suspicious that this bomb looks exactly like the type of bombs made by a guy that you represented as a lawyer and got off on an arson is that gonna be suspicious at all
00:52:11
Speaker
now They're looking around the courtroom and he's just straight up dressed like Dick Dastardly. like He's suddenly curled the ends of his mustache. shes me I don't know why anybody was like me. I'm just a fucking idiot over here.
00:52:27
Speaker
So it turns out he gets a phone call from another
Unraveling the Murder Plot
00:52:31
Speaker
lawyer saying that ah a new will has been submitted and it says that he signed off on it and there's a problem with it.
00:52:41
Speaker
And so there the lawyer calls a big meeting and it's going to involve... ah and yeah everybody. We got the the dead guy's sister, we've got the wife, we've got Ted Danson's even there.
00:52:55
Speaker
And they're talking about how you messed up the will, and so now the will is invalid, and just like the old will years ago that you messed up, ah this one's getting kicked out, and oh, this means under the law that she's gonna get all the money and like if she were in any way trying to not get caught she would have said oh well of course i will provide for you know niece uh i will not you know but this woman has no interest she is ah she wants a hundred percent of that money honey
00:53:41
Speaker
Hey, she earned it. She had to suck that man's sweaty penis and pretend that he's cool. This is true. she had to suck multiple sweaty penises and pretend that they were cool because she also had to suck ah her husband's penis and pretend that he was cool.
00:53:54
Speaker
Yeah, he wasn't particularly cool. He was rich. And i guess least the other guy was handsome. I don't know. Maybe they both aren't very good. She could do better. I was hoping, my little wish, I mean, not to spoil that this the end of the movie, but I was hoping that her gazebo friend that he um sexually harassed yeah was going to be her lesbian lover that she was going to run away. God, wouldn't that have been nice? But no.
00:54:21
Speaker
But then once again, we'd vilify the gays. Yes. But that also, par for the course for the 80s erotic thriller. That is true, too. um So he goes back to his house and who should be there but his BFFs, cop and district attorney.
00:54:38
Speaker
And they have questions. Yeah. And he's like, look, ah out everything that lady said is true. It all happened exactly as she said.
00:54:50
Speaker
And also, she started hitting on me. So i am going to have sex with her. And they're like, Ned, someday your dick is going to lead you into a very big hassle.
00:55:03
Speaker
That lady may have just killed her husband. To which he says, well, she's not going to inherit anything by killing me.
00:55:14
Speaker
I do love his honesty. like, listen, fellas, I'm going to keep fucking that lady as long as she wants to. You can't stop me. I don't care how it looks.
00:55:26
Speaker
She's about to be very rich.
00:55:30
Speaker
And she tells him that she is originally from Wheaton, Illinois. what do you know about Wheaton, Illinois, Garrett? I know nothing. i mean Is that a... At one point, it's ah north of... it's Yeah, it's it's the not exactly a Chicago suburb, but it's like in the general vicinity. It is extraordinarily religious.
00:55:54
Speaker
At one point, it had the second most churches per capita in the United States. I don't think it still holds that title. And also, friend of the show, Jim Belushi was born there.
00:56:07
Speaker
about that i say friend of the show very loosely ah he commented on that instagram post that time yeah that counts uh so she says that uh they went down to chicago and they did drugs and she you know had a a tough life.
00:56:28
Speaker
And, uh, yeah, I did try to make the will invalid on purpose, but I love you. i didn't tell you about it. Cause I thought you'd say no.
00:56:40
Speaker
I didn't know about your previous will that had gotten contested. Otherwise I definitely wouldn't have done it.
00:56:50
Speaker
Right.
00:56:53
Speaker
I love him running into the other lawyer. like don't i know you we friends he's like you're that lawyer who fucked me on my biggest mistake case of my life i'm sorry man lawyers don't like to do that to other lawyers yeah but i did send a hot broad your way he's like you did a what now did a what now yeah there's uh this leggy blonde she was said she was coming down this way asking about lawyers and i told i told her all about you handsome Did you tell her about the case that I messed up?
00:57:27
Speaker
Did you tell her about that one? No, I would never. Okay, yeah, maybe i maybe I talked about it a little bit. I did, i did yes. It's not a big deal. I don't know why it would be a big deal.
00:57:39
Speaker
So, yes, he figures out that she knew all along she was had him pegged from the beginning as a mark. To get her hubby's money.
00:57:50
Speaker
And all the things start to collapse now. Ted Danson's doing a little soft shoe. And then telling him that the glasses... ah The guy wasn't wearing his glasses, so obviously he didn't take him he didn't drive himself there.
00:58:07
Speaker
ah And... You know, some some anonymous tipster says that they have the glasses and they want to give them to us. And also, in this weird, your hotel room got called the night of the murder multiple times.
00:58:25
Speaker
And the hotel was like, screw you, it's three in the morning. We're not putting your call through. And they said it was an emergency. So the hotel put it through, but nobody picked up. So you don't have an alibi.
00:58:38
Speaker
Isn't that weird? Who would do that to you? It seems like somebody's trying to set you up. Isn't that weird? like so i I swear I wasn't at the hotel because I was probably getting sucked off somewhere. He's like, I don't want to hear a man.
00:58:55
Speaker
i don't want to hear it. You weren't. He's like, maybe though. Yeah. And and Ted Danson is a ride or die pal. He's like, look, I don't give a shit if you killed this guy.
00:59:06
Speaker
But our other buddy is a cop and he doesn't want it to be you. He's trying to find that missing lady, you know, her friend that was the witness for this that signed it.
00:59:18
Speaker
Trying to find her so that maybe she can help. He's integrity. sorry. Yeah, but he he unfortunately does. I don't. I'm Ted Danson. I'm too handsome for integrity. But ah our friend does, and he he's gonna come after you.
00:59:35
Speaker
So this is all looking real bad. And and then he sees he's meets up with Mickey Rourke, and Mickey Rourke says, hey, a hot, leggy blonde ah said that she knew about this arson you were doing and she wanted to that you wanted another one that could be rigged to a door and then also a slight delay on the timer.
00:59:55
Speaker
i think she might be trying to kill you, dude. I like, he's like, I didn't think anything of it. So I build her a cartoon ass bomb. Uh, it might be bad though.
01:00:06
Speaker
Mickey Rourke is really looking out for him too much. 100%. You're not like that good of pals. No, but the cops have been talking to him. He's like, I ain't telling him shit. I would never do that to you.
01:00:19
Speaker
I am getting a new lawyer, um but will not tell them about you. The fact that when he was like, okay, this is how you do this. You know what, man? You stay here. I will go rig the bomb. I just, I love you. I don't want it to go bad for you.
01:00:35
Speaker
Insane. Insane. Yes. Good friend. Yes. Very charming man, but that but Ned. Mm-hmm. So he gets a call from...
01:00:47
Speaker
this woman he now no longer trusts. And she's like, I got the money. And ah like we found the glasses. The housekeeper had them and I paid her off. And now they're in the boathouse.
01:01:01
Speaker
So you just got to go to the boathouse. Just open the door. Open the door. Remember the night we first slept together? Yeah. What'd you do?
01:01:12
Speaker
Smashed a window and fucked you. Go through the door this time. It's not locked. It's not locked. Unlocked. Push it all the way open. all the way open. Stand there for a couple seconds. Stand there.
01:01:25
Speaker
Important. Look around. Look around. so But and more importantly, open the door. Yeah. So he's standing in there outside the bow house and watching him like try to decide if he should open this door is incredible because he like touches the handle and then pulls his hand back and touches it and pulls his hand back. And he's really like pacing around and thinking like, is she trying to kill me, bro?
01:01:51
Speaker
There's no reason for him to not believe there isn't a bomb on the other side of that door. Zero reason. Zero. The fact that we have to on screen watch this dunce, think about this for too long is insulting to me.
01:02:10
Speaker
And she shows up. Presumably she is like, why is my boathouse not exploded? God damn this guy. yeah hey.
01:02:22
Speaker
Did you get the glasses out of the boathouse? No, I'm standing in this dark structure that I have since learned is called gazebo.
Betrayal and Explosion at the Boathouse
01:02:33
Speaker
Holding your husband's gun. I found it. And now I stand in the gazebo. You were open the door. Open the door.
01:02:45
Speaker
Don't smash the window like I did on our first coitus night. Open the door. and so She's trying to convince him that she really, really does love him.
01:02:56
Speaker
She's always loved him. You have you gotta believe me, man. And he's like, no, you open the bow house door. If you're not trying to kill me, just open the bow house door. and What's the big deal? And she's like, okay, I will.
01:03:08
Speaker
I'm gonna do it. And he's like, go ahead and do it. Well, I'm gonna do it. Yeah, go do it. what happened she she uh she doesn't call his bluff she opens it in the boat house explodes real big and that makes him sad because he was not done having sex with that lady he was really but also it means his girlfriend wasn't being nice to him so cut to he's in prison I love that it cuts to him in prison and it cuts to him asleep in a jail cell, popping up, screaming, she's alive.
01:03:45
Speaker
She's alive! he He calls in his buddy, the cop, and he's like, listen, i think she's still alive. And he's like, we found her body in the boat house. And he's like, what if that's not her body? What if that's her friend's body? And he was like, listen, man, we found her teeth. Dental records. It's her.
01:04:05
Speaker
it's it's That's who it is. I'm sorry, dude. Also, you're a terrible detective. Like, you just... You're wrong on everything. wrong on everything. you You got fooled so many times. Why would I ever believe you now? You are too dumb.
01:04:23
Speaker
And he's like, wait, but what if, okay, follow me on this one. What if all she took her friend's identity so that she could marry this guy because she needed a clean pass that didn't have like, I don't know, an arrest record or something under her old name.
01:04:42
Speaker
And so she pretended to be this girl. And then that girl found out and she was like blackmailing her and getting money from her. And she was like, I don't want to have to split money with,
01:04:53
Speaker
this girl and the niece that sucks. And so she killed this girl and put her in the boathouse. And then she was intending to kill me. And then we would both be dead in the boathouse and she could get away with all the money.
Manipulation and Escape: The Femme Fatale's Triumph
01:05:06
Speaker
Ned. No, no, I don't want to. It's a good idea. No, no. She's, she's a genius. Shut the fuck up. It's too hot for this shit. You're in jail now. I know, but like, I think she should also be in jail and I'm pretty sure she's alive in like Belize or something.
01:05:22
Speaker
Boys, lock him up. This man's foolish. You didn't find the money, did you? That means she ran off with the money, right? Right? No, come on. Send him away, boys. And don't let him try and suck you off on the way back then.
01:05:35
Speaker
That's his move. the And you know this person does not have AC. Was there any part of you that when you found out that Kathleen Turner wasn't dead...
01:05:47
Speaker
that you wanted her out? Well, like when you see her on the beach that she was going to have no teeth or eyebrows.
01:06:00
Speaker
That the timer had been just a little too short and she had still like... Like I wanted it to show us how she got it to blow up and cause it timing wise, is it was all too perfect.
01:06:11
Speaker
So she definitely had to poke that door with a really long stick and then be blown. specifically It was on the door and on a time delay. So she like opened the door, pushed it out like and then ran away a lot and then ran like a motherfucker off into the woods.
01:06:31
Speaker
Not hit it with a stick and then exploded into the woods and drove away on a fan boat. It would have been very, very funny though, if she had been no eyebrows left.
01:06:46
Speaker
Unfortunately, she's a better criminal than that. Yeah. And she still doesn't look happy though. I don't know. She looks kind of bombed on the beach. That's true. Yeah. I mean, she's got a hot foreign guy, but he's not Ned.
01:06:59
Speaker
Maybe she did. I mean, I didn't think Ned was slinging that good dong. Well, the hot foreigner ah ah it tells her it's hot and she says, yes.
01:07:12
Speaker
And that is the end. Oh, and we do get a ah bit of our Ned asks the Wheaton high school for their yearbook from that year.
01:07:23
Speaker
And he gets confirmation that, yes, the woman he knew as Maddie was in fact Marianne and Marianne was Maddie. And so, yes, she did steal that lady's identity.
01:07:35
Speaker
And i don't know if he's going to hand this over to the cops. It doesn't matter. She's almost certainly in a country with no extradition. and yeah, her yearbook, like where she wants to be is rich somewhere exotic.
01:07:48
Speaker
Yep. and her high school nickname was the vamp. The vamp.
01:07:55
Speaker
Oh, Oh but boy. Yeah. And, uh, you know, it's, it was predictable, of course, that she was, you know, doing it the whole time. It's, it's the genre conventions, but at the same time, like it was fun to watch how she put the pieces together and how meticulous she was and how she picked just the perfect guy for this.
01:08:19
Speaker
Well acted as well. And I think Kasdan did a really good job writing noir dialogue to take place in a more modern setting for the time. And I don't know, maybe in 1980 it wouldn't have been as predictable, but even then, like you still have ah every noir that existed prior so i agree I do agree that it was predictable but I do think it was at least well written well acted the score was fun i think this one had a lot going for it and it's hot yeah and it's hot the vibes you feel like you're there with them sweating your balls off ah and you know what I enjoyed it quite a bit
01:09:04
Speaker
i did too i thought this was a good one but garrett were you aroused scale one to five it's so crazy that that squeezing the squeezing really got me i wanted to do that squeeze and i've made me think like i want to be doing the squeezing maybe i want a man who's willing to throw a stool through a window to to go fuck me on the carpet you know maybe maybe that sounds nice don't know i'm Maybe that's the dreamlike part because it's so unrealistic for anyone to do in any situation.
01:09:35
Speaker
I would maybe go four on this one. I think this movie is shot in a very sexy way. And we didn't even talk about how the opening credits is just sexy saxophone and just like cuts of showing a woman's curves, like shadow woman's curves.
01:09:48
Speaker
It's a very sexy movie. I think this is a... You get to see some naked bodies. I don't think you see any ah downstairs action, but you do see butts and boobs.
01:10:01
Speaker
And it's all, it's very sexy. It's not necessarily that you get a lot of explicit, you know, action, but the vibes are very sexy. Apparently there were two test screenings that got some pretty explicit scenes that none of us got to see.
01:10:17
Speaker
That is so unfair. That is so unfair. And I did see that the two leads, this was in the IMDb trivia as well. It said that they didn't want the crew to be uncomfortable. So they went down the line butt ass naked and introduced themselves to each crew member and shook their hands.
01:10:34
Speaker
That seems like that would make me more uncomfortable. But, um you know, what what do I know? It was 1980.
01:10:42
Speaker
Yeah, i either way, I'm probably going to go. I'm on in the three and a half to four range just because I think the movie is so competent. Like it's, it's not like i was sitting there like, Oh God, little but you know, like, but right.
01:10:56
Speaker
The dialogue, very sexy movie. Yes. And the, the banter between them is juicy and sexy. It's, it's good. I'm right there with you in the three and a half to four range, but Garrett, were you thrilled scale one to five?
01:11:12
Speaker
I think it, I think you're right. Like everything is very predictable. So it's hard for me to sit there and be like oh man, I hope nothing. I really kind of wanted something bad to happen to him. And it did. He's in jail forever. Probably.
01:11:23
Speaker
It seems like he very well deserves. You can't feel too bad for him. He like, yes, she was dropping hints that like, oh, wouldn't it be great if my husband were dead, but obviously we can't do that. Nudge, nudge, nudge.
01:11:37
Speaker
But like, he's still the one who's like, we're going to kill him so we can be rich. Okay, well then maybe you deserve to go to jail for killing a guy so that you can be rich.
01:11:49
Speaker
And that's not to you squished that body with a board that made me go, ugh. So... I'll probably go like three on the thrills. Cause even when there is action, it's over pretty quick.
01:12:03
Speaker
And i don't know. I was pretty thrilled when he made that, that blind, uh, unprotected left. And I was like, if you get hit by a truck while you have a dead body in the trunk, this all goes to shit.
01:12:17
Speaker
The car spins, the body flies out the back down the road. yeah Now he has to kill a truck driver who saw it happen and take his body too. Yeah, it was, the action kept, ah you know, ah I would say that, especially as things start to unravel at the end, it's exciting to see like all the the plan unfold.
01:12:40
Speaker
So I would give it a three on thrills, I think. And Garrett, are you ruining your life for Maddie Walker played by Kathleen Turner? I didn't get it at first where was like, I don't know.
01:12:56
Speaker
i don't know. I didn't know. Like I'm not smashing the window. That's not happening. never happening. But there's a scene later on where they're plotting where it's already happened. She's standing there in shorts and ah legs for days looking good. And I was like, you know what? At this point, I'll murder that guy.
01:13:13
Speaker
I'll bludgeon him with board. It didn't look that hard. It actually looked pretty easy to kill that guy with a board. One hit. Done. Done. ah you You didn't think that in a gun versus board situation, the board would win, but the board did win.
01:13:27
Speaker
So, very happy. But if I'm in a kind a state where it's like, it's 110 degrees and she's trying to go down, I'm me like, can I please take a shower first? Like, this is just, I know this is awful for you and I don't like thinking about it. It's taking me out of the moment.
01:13:43
Speaker
You know what? I'll bang her by a fire in Alaska, but I will not in that of Florida heat. But you would try to kill her husband ah for her if you were in Alaska on a bearskin rug by a fireplace.
01:14:00
Speaker
Yeah, and I think that... I don't know if I... I mean, well, Mickey Rourke isn't there with his cartoon bomb, so that does put a... know and the bears are hibernating so i can't feed him to one i don't know where to hide this you know what i am fucked but that's why we call it ruining your life for yes yes it's not called making ah a clean getaway and having a great time in the bahamas with all of your ill-gotten money it's called ruining your life um you know what with that husky voice and those gorgeous legs yes i would ruin my life for her
01:14:37
Speaker
Although I really do hate being hot and sweaty. And at that point, I might have killed the guy just so that I could have the one house in this entire town with air conditioning.
01:14:48
Speaker
ah It's entirely possible. ah I would also potentially ruin my life for Mickey Rourke. God damn, does he look good in his he gets two scenes and he's so beautiful full in them.
01:15:03
Speaker
I would date that arsonist. but Yeah. Yeah. He does look like an arsonist with potentially a heart of gold. He's loyal to his friends. Yes. Yes. Killed a good bum. None of the bums did anything other than exactly what they were supposed to.
01:15:18
Speaker
No innocent bystanders killed. um and Honestly, and it would ruin your life because you are dating an arsonist. But I'd consider it. I'd consider it.
01:15:29
Speaker
He did a little time, right? Like he he did the time for his crime or did he? No, he got off. That was the whole point. That was why he liked his lawyer and wanted to do him a favor. I thought he did a little bit of time and then got off early or something. That might be it.
01:15:43
Speaker
He's definitely going to be in trouble in the future. To be honest, no matter what. Mickey Ted Danson, William Hurt, all looking good in this movie. So for the ladies. Ted Danson, I did not recognize at first with that black hair He's beautiful.
01:16:00
Speaker
like goldbloom was the other person who was uh considered for the his role interesting uh i'm not ruining my life under any circumstances though for uh william hart's character for ned i'm not ruining my life for a man that goddamn dumb Everyone else in town is. Everyone's sleeping with him. I don't know if you have a choice, Kit. Sleeping with him is one thing. Ruining my life by getting involved in some sort of like murder scheme with him, I would not do.
01:16:31
Speaker
You try and lock him out, he finds a way in. Damn. Damn, I didn't think about that. You got me there. Hey. Thanks for listening. we did ah We tried to do two hot ones in a row, and by hot we mean steamy temperature-wise because the summer's coming to an end and we aren't ready to say goodbye. But I think if we were going to say goodbye with the hottest movie possible, there ain't any movie steamier than this one.
01:16:57
Speaker
Mm-mm. um know I don't guess we'll have to look into some cozy fall thriller snacks. Anything with sweaters and pumpkin spice lattes.
01:17:10
Speaker
Yeah, a movie where somebody only takes their pants off for sex but leaves the sweater and socks on.
01:17:19
Speaker
I'm here for it. hey I want to see it. Let's do it. All right, everybody. Thanks for listening. As always, rate, review, subscribe, add a regular club. Like, whatever. Comment. Tell a friend. We love it.
01:17:32
Speaker
Yeah. Thanks for listening. I'm sorry this one came out a little late. Happy we aren't all apocalypsed or raptured or whatever. Stay safe out there. As always, thank you for listening.
01:17:44
Speaker
We love you. Wet you, snails. We want to shake you and alive.