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Cat People (1982)
85 Plays4 months ago
Once in a while you stumble upon a movie that makes life worth living. This week on Erotic Thriller Club we're taking a trip back to New Orleans for Paul Schrader's Cat People. A sister reunites with her long lost brother and finds out not only is he a weird British guy by day but also a sex worker eating, leopard by night. Is this sexy Animorphs? What kind of meal do you eat before turning into a cat and murdering? We ask the big questions as we dissect one of the best movies we've ever seen.
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Transcript
Introduction to Erotic Thriller Club
00:00:00
Speaker
Ladies, gentlemen, folks beyond the binary, grab your husband, wife, partner, mistress, a sack of catnip, and gather around the radio. It's time for this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club.
Mystery and Transformation in New Orleans
00:01:06
Speaker
It's 1982 and you've finally reunited New Orleans with your brother after being separated as children. Brother seems perfectly pleasant other than by night he might be turning into a black leopard with a healthy appetite for prostitutes. Is brother really a kitty? Am I a kitty too? Brother wants to do what with me? This week on the Erotic Thriller Club. Cat people.
00:01:32
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club. As always, Garrett Callender and Kit Ryan here. And this is where we answer the genre's three most important questions. Was I aroused? Was I thrilled? And would I ruin my life for this person? Or in this case, this cat? Kit, it is movies like this yeah that make life worth living.
00:01:57
Speaker
So true and these are hard hard times to be living in and isn't it so nice that you have this to look forward to This had been on the list. I was aware of this movie But then on letterboxed I saw that Charlie XCX had recently logged it and I thought well no better time than now if Miss XCX Watch them. but She didn't click like or hard it I saw um but maybe that's just political, I don't know. Maybe she's a dog person. I am not, I am a cat person and this movie worked for me. This movie, it's insane that it's a studio movie. ah This was a theatrical release.
Exploring the Role of Music in Film
00:02:43
Speaker
That's wild.
00:02:45
Speaker
David Bowie wrote the, he didn't write it, but he performed the opening and closing credit song, Cat People, which I was not familiar with prior to this movie, but my wife's a big Bowie fan, had no idea that that song was from a movie.
00:03:03
Speaker
I associated it with Inglourious Basterds because it's in the Tarantino film. Yeah. Because apparently he saw it in Cat People and thought it was wildly misused with such an excellent needle drop moment in it that it really deserved something better. And um I mean, I have to say he he really did use it to very good effect, but And it's hard to say because this movie made me feel things.
Paul Schrader's Cinematic Influence
00:03:32
Speaker
This movie, it's directed by Paul Schrader, who we mostly know, most famously as a writer. He wrote Taxi Driver. He wrote um Raging Bull. Why can't I think of the Last Temptation of Christ bringing out the dead? A lot of stuff with Scorsese.
00:03:52
Speaker
More recently, like in the 2010s, he got nominated for an Oscar for First Reform, the A24 movie with Ethan Hawke. I don't think I saw that one. But he also did another erotic thriller that's on our list. He directed The Canyons starring Lindsay Lohan, which we have to get to. Ooh, I would be so excited to do a Lindsay Lohan one. She's got a couple, so we we need to dive into those. But this would have worked perfect in our Halloween series.
00:04:23
Speaker
ah But god, I did not know what I was getting into. Like, you can read the plot description all you want. This movie still has surprises. Oh, absolutely. Mostly because it just refuses to explain itself at any turn.
Unexpected Plot Twists and Settings
00:04:38
Speaker
It just doesn't want to tell you what's going on or why.
00:04:42
Speaker
And when you finally get the explanation, it is a jaw dropper. It's a doozy, I will say. Yeah, yeah, we start off with skulls and pink sand?
00:04:55
Speaker
yeah I was very confused because I realized maybe based on the plot, I had no idea when or where this movie took place, what time period. We're clearly in some sort of ancient time. Everybody has leopard spot tattoos, a lot of dudes and thongs. Basically everyone is painted up to look like Wes Borland, the guitarist of Limp Bizkit. And I don't think that's the first time I've had to say this on that podcast.
00:05:21
Speaker
there
00:05:24
Speaker
Yeah, and I don't know where it takes place that has these particular weird trees, black leopards, and salmon-colored sand, um but it is an ancient, powerful, and mysterious place that produces... gat people.
00:05:42
Speaker
We tie a lady to the tree, we leave her there, a mysterious man watches from a distance as a, what I assumed was a panther for a long time until- A panther is a generic term, you can call it a panther, because panther is like an umbrella term, I think. But they specify black leopard. They do.
00:06:02
Speaker
And reading through, I wish, it's been a crazy couple of days, so I haven't been able to do deep dives into some of this, but I did read in a couple different interviews that multiple cast members have said that it was not actually a Black Panther, that it was some sort of other jungle cat painted black,
Challenges in Filming and Animal Welfare
00:06:23
Speaker
which is awful. Oh, no. And nothing that I would hear about this movie could surprise me.
00:06:31
Speaker
um Oh no. Basically all but one female character is nude in this movie. It just seems like if you told me everything problematic happened on this set, I'd be like, of course it did. Of course it did. Everyone was on cocaine, I'm sure. Did you see what what the the cats were put in? This is the zoo. I'm supposed to be rooting for these zookeepers and I was like, kill them all.
00:06:54
Speaker
because these cats, these large cats are kept in cells that I wouldn't think would be fit for a human prisoner. like They are six by five foot concrete, nothing. There is no entertainment for them. There is not even a tire swing. There is nothing. it and They are kept alone in these horrible little cells ah to be gawked at by the the public. and you know ah When somebody got their arm ripped off, I said.
00:07:29
Speaker
The thing, though, about where they're kept, no guardrails. I would love to hear how many people were maimed at this zoo and the line of animals that are just in a row at the zoo. I mean, we're we're jumping so far ahead. People are like, what's going on with the zoo? Don't worry about it. Don't worry. I mean, they do say the she's in a taxi and sees a sign for the zoo and is like, oh, hey, it's a zoo. And the taxi driver is like, oh, don't go there. That place is a dump.
00:08:00
Speaker
Don't you want to go to the French Quarter? You're in New Orleans.
00:08:06
Speaker
That scene was really weird to me because why does she care? And also she talks about, she makes it sound like it's a dump, but literally the first thing we see when she steps into the zoo is it's beautiful.
00:08:18
Speaker
Garrett, it's a dump because of the thing I just said about the the cages in which these animals are kept, they are clearly miserable. I would feel terrible going to this zoo, and so would you.
00:08:32
Speaker
Correct, but when you hear that it's a dump and the first three minutes of her walking around is a beautiful zoo where you're seeing like peacocks walking around, there's an elephant right up close that you can get very close to. It literally, until you see the prison cells for the jungle cats and and orangutans, it ah does appear to be a beautiful facility.
00:08:57
Speaker
I mean, that orangutan did get to watch all the soap operas it wanted, so. He didn't have a television. like he yeah he's not He's in solitary, but whatever. However.
00:09:10
Speaker
Back to the the thing with the lady tied to a tree in a mystic time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mystic time in place, and there's a lady tied to a tree. Why is she tied to a tree? I don't know. ah She looks not at all perturbed. I don't know why they even needed to tie her up there, even when the cat jumps up on her. ah She looks fine. She doesn't look, that she doesn't scream or ah try to escape. um Honestly, the tying her up seemed completely unnecessary.
00:09:37
Speaker
I don't know, the cat needed room to do what it was gonna do. ah yeah The cat was into it. The cat's not into it unless she's tied up. It was the cat's kink, yeah. Oh, that makes a little lot more sense. The cat jumps up and it's like nothing about it is vicious. It immediately feels horny and romantic the way the cat goes for the neck. It goes for a hug. It is 100% going for a huggy hug.
00:10:04
Speaker
This is a wildly horny movie. ah oh god i yeah Everybody is horny in this movie. And so lady, the people come back, she's missing from the tree, and they're going to a tomb. It's like Jesus on Easter. But when they roll it away, I was just like, this is just not going to be a zombie Jesus. This is going to be a lady covered in tiger juices inside of this cave.
00:10:28
Speaker
ah jumped a modern day, where yeah we meet our lead, Irena, who is played by Natasha Kinski. She's so pretty. You just have to, so she's got her short little 80s haircut. She's got big, full, beautiful lips. She has these big doe eyes. She's instantly so pretty. And she is a modern lady at the airport.
00:10:57
Speaker
where So I know she is German, the actress. What was her accent? I'm so confused because she and her brother have completely different accents because Garrett, they are circus people. So they were raised in different places. So yeah they each picked up different accents. There is no conflict here. Don't think about it. It makes perfect sense.
00:11:22
Speaker
Her brother, played by Malcolm McDowell, is Alex from Clockwork Orange. He's in Caligula. More recently, the Rob Zombie Halloween movies. He's Dr. Loomis. And this movie is not that far separated from Clockwork Orange. So he very much is just looks like Alex. There's same age as he was in that movie.
00:11:44
Speaker
It's really hard to see him as anything but menacing immediately. ah Just like he is immediately giving off the vibe of, oh, oh no, I don't want you to be my brother. This is bad.
00:12:01
Speaker
Bizarre, the next, he she goes home with him. They've reunited somehow in New Orleans, which made me happy because it brings us back to where this whole podcast started. I know, in na it felt very good to be back in New Orleans, back in the bayou even, ah because I guess everybody in New Orleans also owns a fishing cabin in the bayou. ah Fun fact, I didn't know about New Orleans, but now we know.
00:12:28
Speaker
We go to where her brother lives, and we are introduced to a lady. Uh-huh. You want to explain who this lady is, what her connection is to Malcolm ah McDowell, or why she's here? Because I didn't, I don't know.
00:12:47
Speaker
So she has the vibe of maybe since it's New Orleans voodoo, but no. 100% assumed that this, I was like, oh, okay. So like the cat thing, because all coming into this, I knew that someone was going to transform into a cat. That's about all I knew. And I was like, okay, so it's going to be like a ah very culturally insensitive voodoo thing. It's putting out in quotes.
00:13:13
Speaker
I am putting that in air quotes voodoo thing but no that has nothing to do with it this woman has no magic powers even though she's got a head scarf and she talks in a very mysterious way like she knows things and also her name Garrett would you like to tell the people what her name is I would like to to tell you this, and I would like to also say that I watch all my movies with subtitles, so this was instantly as stupid as it seemed for me. Her name is Famale, spelled F-E-M-A-L-E.
00:13:49
Speaker
She is a lady, and her name is Famale, spelled female. I have not heard a more insane name in a movie since one of the Resident Evil sequels, they introduce you to a character, this is like four movies into the Resident Evil movies. They introduce you to a character named Kmart, and they're like, why is your name Kmart? And she says, because they found me in the parking lot of a Kmart.
00:14:19
Speaker
and the explanation are terrible the explanation of this lady's name isn't much better. No, it's not any better. It's that ah she was, I guess, just like dropped off somewhere and they didn't know what name to put on her birth certificate. So they put child comma female and she says, the woman who raised me didn't speak very good English. So she thought that was my name and pronounced it Fimalae.
00:14:52
Speaker
look Amazing. ah me i want I do want to tell you this with this movie. I watched it twice. The first time I watched it, I watched it with a friend and we were kind of goofing on it as it went. And I didn't love the movie that much. I watched it the second time alone.
00:15:10
Speaker
Let me tell you this, no matter what you think you have to say over the top of this movie, it is not better than what is being said in the movie. This movie is very important to give your full attention so that you can hear the insane lines and also just watch bizarre social cues, yeah facial expressions,
00:15:38
Speaker
This movie requires your attention in a way that you will not be disappointed if you give it. I mean, if you don't give it your full attention, you'll miss such gems as look at that boat. Look at that crane. Look at that boat.
00:16:00
Speaker
Which is, by the way, our romantic lead being charming. the The love interest later played by John Hurd, Kevin McAllister's dad in Home Alone. Oh my God, that is Kevin McAllister's dad. I didn't realize that until just now when you said that. So, Malcolm McDowell plays Paul, ah who is Irena's brother. And then Kevin McAllister's dad, John Hurd, plays not John Hurd. Those are different people. Was up for the role though.
00:16:36
Speaker
No kidding. I think that they just accidentally cast the wrong guy. I think it was a no i think it was Paul Schrader was on cocaine. he John Heard showed up and he's like, eh. Close enough. Once John Heard and Irina get together,
00:16:54
Speaker
I looked at my friend and I said, I've never wanted to see two people have sex more in my entire life. I can't possibly be true. I simply don't believe you. I don't know. i don't In the history of this podcast, every movie we've watched, I don't think I've fallen in love with a lead quicker than I did Irena. I was simply smitten with her.
00:17:18
Speaker
i was so prepared to go on a journey with Irena, as long as it led to sexy cat times. And good news for you, buddy. ah Sexy cat times are in store. So after some time, like we see, we find out about their parents' circus past.
00:17:37
Speaker
They were raised in a circus. ah They demonstrate this by knowing how to juggle. I was impressed that she and Malcolm McDowell were juggling together. It looked very impressive, um but it does mean that he has a creepy mask cabinet, which was an instant red flag for me. Other than just, he was really flirty with his sister you pretty early. like Immediately.
Controversial Storylines and Character Dynamics
00:18:06
Speaker
I mean, we're hot off that Billy Zane movie, so we kind of know what sibling flirtation looks like. It's it's fresh in our mind, and that's what it looks like. He's yucky.
00:18:20
Speaker
Yeah, and I was a little confused because ah he starts wandering around late at night wearing a dramatic black tank top. And Fimalae gives him a look like, hmm, you shouldn't be, I know what you've got in your brain and it's wrong. And then it turns out later she is entirely pro incest. So I don't know. find out why the male Mixed signals from from Fimalae.
00:18:47
Speaker
Yeah, quickly from this scene, we end up at a hotel where we see a prostitute coming up to a counter. The man who runs the brothel or whatever is that angry. She's late because she had to find somebody to take care of her kid. Already that makes me feel sad.
00:19:06
Speaker
45 minutes is a long time to wait for your hooker though. I mean at that point, can't you just get a different hooker? Does this pro- does this John, or not does John, what do you call it, does this pimp have no other ah girls on standby that he could call?
00:19:23
Speaker
this prostitute was a pretty lady, I would have waited. And also at these prices, the first thing she says when she walks into this dark room, we don't see the the John, she's just kind of chatting. She's a very chatty prostitute, but she's going over pricing. $25 for a massage is a good deal anywhere. I mean, in 1982, is that a good deal? I mean, I don't i don't know the ah the inflation rate on that one.
00:19:51
Speaker
I mean, I'm not pulling out an inflation calculator, but it feels like a good deal. Like, but a ta was like I mean, it depends. Like if you had a minimum wage job and that if I don't know back then that would have, you would have had to work several hours to get this job.
00:20:09
Speaker
It's true. And I mean, you got to be able to at least cover the cost of your babysitter. Otherwise it was ah the whole thing was a wash. So she's hoping that there will be more than a massage table, you know, just a massage involved here, obviously. This scene is amazing. She sits down on the bed and sees what looks like vomit on the massage table.
00:20:34
Speaker
on the massage table, but as somebody who owns cats, one being a black cat that throws up all the time, that looked like a cat had thrown a hairball up on the bed, and I thought that was fucking hilarious. It is. Because that's a great fucking joke in a cat sex murder movie. Yes, yes it is.
00:20:56
Speaker
However, she touches, she touches it and smells it. It goes like yuck. And while this is happening, a giant panther tail is just waggling under the bed, hitting her in the ankles. And you know that means they're upset. They only flick their tails like that when they're mad. But after touching the vomit and smelling it and going yuck, I think the amazing thing about her character that is a little detail that shows you who this person is. She goes in for seconds, Kit. She touches it again. Yeah, I don't understand that.
00:21:34
Speaker
but it does look like a hair ball and like four used condoms. It looks like maybe the cat got into some condoms, barfed it all over the bed. Now the cat has scratched this lady's Achilles tendon. It looks like very violent, gross, bloody, love it. This movie's really gory.
00:21:55
Speaker
It's pretty gory, and she goes ah falling down the stairs face first. It looks very unpleasant, very uncomfortable. Her leg is all twisted up and and gross looking. And then, of course, just, you know, to make sure you didn't forget what type of movie you're watching, her bra pops open.
00:22:14
Speaker
So, not that though for you. That actress said she had to do that stunt herself because she was wearing nothing and they couldn't pat make a stunt person look like her, I guess. ah So she had to do that stunt 17 times on her own, going head first down the stairs and then have her breasts pop out of her shirt. Dignity, lots of it.
00:22:40
Speaker
So next up we get animal control coming into this place the next day. And we have, I loved this. I love it so much. We get John Heard and Ed Begley Jr.
00:22:53
Speaker
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. And they are there to to to get this panther out of here. And I was kind of delighted because, you know, animal control is not a job that you get a whole lot in erotic thrillers. I thought this was novel. I was down for it. Kit, these people aren't animal control. No, mind that's what I then realized as the movie went on.
00:23:17
Speaker
um Okay, folks, remember, movie or two ago, we just did Eyes Wide Shut. Tom Cruise is in a constant state of pulling out his doctor badge, not a thing. Not a thing, but he flashes it to get in everywhere. You've never seen people in a movie so many times get to a police line and say, we're with the zoo, and then they just wave them through.
00:23:43
Speaker
Well, when, you know, you've got a jungle cat on the loose, ah you know, yeah you you let the zoo people through, I guess. this i love I love that they like they look at the security footage.
00:24:01
Speaker
They see that there is a pant, like, I mean, it looks like a pant. They're black leopard. We're going to get that fucked up the whole time. Don't even worry about it, y'all. It's whatever. i mean It doesn't matter. Whatever cat you want. But no, it is black leopard. This cat is going absolutely wild in this room. And they're just like, all right, I'm going to go in there and give him some ketamine. And I'm like, oh, what else you got in Hunter S. Thompson's purse for that kitty?
00:24:26
Speaker
Well, the kitty does then destroy that hotel room like he is a rock star. So yeah, I think the ketamine did its job. This is so amazing. They drank the cat. It now lives at the zoo. And there's never been an angrier cat in the history of cats. This cat looks so pissed. And this is this is night one of Irena's trip.
00:24:52
Speaker
And her brother's just gone. He's just gone. And when she asks for Molly, hey, do you know where my brother is? She's like, he's doing church stuff. Probably. Don't even worry about it. oh Go to this. Go to the French Quarter. That is what everyone keeps telling her, which is true to my experience. Having been to New Orleans, you try to go anywhere outside the French Quarter and people are like, why are you here? Go to the French Quarter. You're a tourist. Why? Why would you be literally anywhere else?
00:25:22
Speaker
It actually does make sense, though, that she said he works for the church. That's a good cover because he has the face of somebody who molests altar boys. Oh, so true. And then when you see his actual church, it is the wildest thing you've ever seen. It is ah ah Jesus. No, the Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat production brought to life.
00:25:47
Speaker
It actually did kind of felt like Kubrick colors or didn't stop. You know, like there was a there was a vibe to that. But I love that I was a little confused with the timeline of some of this because when she walked into the church, it was definitely nighttime.
00:26:05
Speaker
and she leaves and it's just daytime again. So I don't know if we've skipped ahead a day or- They were very unclear about the timeline because like I kept focusing on the fact that she was wearing this like sort of cable knit sweater thing that with no bra underneath. Yeah, I knew you I knew you noticed. Cause her nipples are perfectly visible under this like tank top sweater that could only have existed in this time and place.
00:26:33
Speaker
um It's beautiful. You don't need no bra. It's it's nips ah for days. And I feel so bad for the actresses in this. It's not. It's not kind. It's not fair. No, but it is a very horny. But it is it is lovely. that She has beautiful breasts and.
00:26:58
Speaker
um Listen, but the
Romantic Ambiguities and Genre Tropes
00:27:01
Speaker
the point is that like later when she's at the zoo, she was wearing an entirely different outfit and it never specified that a day, a full day had passed. So I was very confused that she was suddenly like, like, oh, wait, whoa, we're in business casual today instead. Like, when did you change and why?
00:27:23
Speaker
And she was, before she got to the zoo though, walking around in that sweater, did you get a hit with a little nostalgia? Like she was taking a walk-in tour of all the places Zandali got fingered. Absolutely. She hit all the highlights of her Zandali tour. That was what was in the guidebook.
00:27:45
Speaker
That's actually what we should have done for your bachelorette party.
00:27:52
Speaker
Oh yes. ah All plans must change. This is what we're doing now is we're going on a Zandali tour. ah zoo That we discussed the zoo thing a little bit ago with cab drivers. Weird. She ends up at the zoo. She ends up in front of her brother and seemingly does not seem to know but kind of does know because of the eyes yeah she feels a connection to this panther that she can't explain the weirdest thing though is she starts drawing the panther the the leopard and it has to be
00:28:36
Speaker
hours pass because it is full-ass daytime when she starts. Zu is closed and Jon Heard finds her hours later at night's time still doodling.
00:28:47
Speaker
It is her first stop for the day. Now that it is clear that this is a second day, like she had not gone anywhere else. She just got into this cab. That was the first place she saw. And the lady's like, don't you want to go to the French Quarter? And she's like, I saw that yesterday, so I guess I'm over it already. I don't want to go there. So she starts her day at the zoo and she is there an hour after closing time. Yeah, never. Oh, my God. Standing in one spot.
00:29:17
Speaker
in one spot for what literally has to be five hours at least. there's Probably more. There's not even a bench for her to sit on to sketch. She's just standing there staring at this cat. I'm terrible at drawing.
00:29:32
Speaker
And her drawing was good, but I don't know if it was like stood there for eight hours at the zoo good. Well, you didn't see all of her previous drawings. That one was like number seven at this point. Before they go out there and find her though, I loved this little conversation ah that the zookeepers have with each other. Yeah, and there they're having fun here.
00:29:56
Speaker
yeah Well, they're discussing the leopard they just brought in and they are discussing that the leopard vomited up a bunch of pizza. ah And they were like, OK, so he clearly got into a trash can and ate some pizza before he went into the horror house. And one of them even says maybe he was horny.
00:30:20
Speaker
which now we have a timeline of what happened before Paul, Malcolm McDowell gets there. He went, had himself a slice, a couple slices before he went to do crime.
00:30:34
Speaker
Well, you can't do crime on an empty stomach, Garrett, obviously. That's how you make mistakes. See, I think if I were gonna anamorph, I would probably go full empty stomach. But maybe if you do it on an empty stomach, it makes you sick. Maybe it's like a medication situation. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which it led me to this question for you. Okay. If you had to crime... Mm-hmm.
00:31:01
Speaker
would you eat before? What would your pre-crime ritual be? Okay. Am I doing this crime as a jungle animal? Because if so, I'm going to be honest and say, I want to eat up front because I want to eat as a human so I can eat tasty human food instead of like mauling a couple of rats in the alley for sustenance. I don't want to do that. Oh, cause then you'd throw that up as a person later. and She seems terrible. Yeah, I don't want to.
00:31:30
Speaker
Cats can't eat pizza though, that's why he threw that up. It's really like the two selves are really like in a person stomach versus cat stomach, like he can't have grease, I can't have vermin. What is that? I didn't think about all of the potential pitfalls in the Anamorph diet.
00:31:53
Speaker
Yeah, it is a slippery slope. And the last thing you wanna do while you're murdering as a cat is get diarrhea from the ice cream you ate. Oh God, so true. Maybe you just, you have to do a full juice cleanse each, like before and after. You eat just a handful of Hershey Kisses, transform and realize, oh shit. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh no. You just kill yourself.
00:32:23
Speaker
ah But before regular crimes, umm I'm gonna want a light meal, you know, you got to stay active be ready to run You don't want anything too heavy. You don't want to be too low-key You don't want an empty stomach either. So I would say like a nice sub sandwich maybe Little li bag of chips not not too greasy not not too much Okay. Yeah. Yeah I think that's what's what's your what's your pre crime food ritual going to be? I don't know. I'm a I'm a nervous eater. Like if if I'm in a nervous situation, it can upset my stomach. And also, if I'm in in a situation where a bathroom isn't
00:33:07
Speaker
like readily available, I'm worried about having to pee too. So like part of me is worried, I'm go like, I'm probably gonna be a little dehydrated for the crime, but I need a little something. I think it's gotta be like at an arena. You just go with a bottle of water and sip it throughout the night, very slowly, maybe do a soft pretzel. Oh, there you go. Yeah, I think a soft pretzel is pretty perfect. It's nice, ah it's not gonna agitate you. You get some carbs, don't use the cheese sauce, that's a little risky.
00:33:37
Speaker
Oh yeah, no, no, no. We don't know if it's real cheese. Is it cheese flavored? I don't know. It's just a cheese spooge comes out of the machine. We don't need that.
00:33:50
Speaker
I think both me and Kitty can both have the pretzel, I think. I don't know. i've Any zookeepers out there write in, please tell us if Black Leopards are allowed to eat soft pretzels or not. What is a Black Leopard's hot softy intake? you ah All right, so Garrett, please describe for us the meet-cute between our beautiful lead and our zookeeper. ah what What happens when he sees her staring at the cage, ah you know, ah where she's been standing for the past six hours? He thinks to himself, what's this bitch doing? Goes out to say like, hey, he says, hey, she takes off running and heals.
00:34:36
Speaker
and drops all her stuff, like her purse, ah her sketchbook, it's all just immediately dropped. Jumps up a tree. which we for forgot, we forgot to mention that earlier when she's sleeping at home, her brother comes in and jumps like a cat onto the foot of the bed, like onto the the wooden end part of the bed, like very agile. Like he is very clearly a cat. There's no question about, why do we know he's a cat? Cause he did that. He did that. And also he Edward Cullen style watches her sleep for a little while because cats also do that.
00:35:18
Speaker
Cats have a lot in common with Edward Cullen. That also might be why I like this movie so much.
00:35:26
Speaker
She jumped like she's in a skirt and heels and just scales that tree. And John Heard is just like, what the fuck? But then she comes down and she's so smoking hot that he doesn't question anything that just happened. single thing He's just like, how'd you get up there? And she's like, I don't know. And he's like, oh, an oyster date with me? Which is so presumptuous. I mean, in fairness, she asked him out for dinner and he but then he is the one who suggested oysters. So he is. I think John Hurt is a pretty handsome man.
00:36:04
Speaker
The least attractive thing we see him doing this is make his mouth wide enough to slurp that oyster while he makes a dead fucking eye contact with her. That is gross. It is supposed to be an aphrodisiac, but I don't think it's the act of eating it while making uncomfortable eye contact that is supposed to be the sexy part.
00:36:30
Speaker
If a man invites you to an oyster bar on your first meeting, that is such just a, like you said, it's very presumptuous. It's very, to me, that's so shitty. That's like if a lady picked me up and then was like, hey Carrot, I'm taking you to a blue chew buffet.
00:36:50
Speaker
And I was just like, well, I don't know if I want all this boner candy, but I mean, that's all that's on the menu.
00:36:59
Speaker
I didn't know this cafe even existed, but I'm here now, so... This scene... John Hurt is such a fucking asshole. Not super outward.
00:37:11
Speaker
But there's like little things. It was like, okay, after you eat the thing, after you eat the oyster, he's like, here, now you gotta follow the swig of beer and tries to hand her a beer. And she doesn't take the beer and she drinks her soda. And he says, or soda, and like rolls his eyes. This guy from Jump Street is trying to just have sex with this woman.
00:37:31
Speaker
And then he offers her a job because because everything about this relationship is not okay. It is so not not acceptable. But yeah, she's been here two days and she's like, Yeah, my brother was supposed to find me find a job but he disappeared for two days. And he's like,
00:37:50
Speaker
I can give you a job. And he's kind of cute about it. You know, like he, you know, he's like, well, i'll know I know a guy, the guy is him, he can do it. It's cute. But at the same time, like you did literally just meet her. And you want to have sex with her.
00:38:08
Speaker
And you know that she is new in town. She knows no one. She's vulnerable. The only other person she knows here has been missing for two days, which doesn't seem to bother either of you particularly all that much. That's fine.
Workplace Relationships and Power Dynamics
00:38:23
Speaker
So far, the two men she's met are both trying to sleep with her. Yeah. And one's her brother. but But we find out here that she doesn't eat meat and she doesn't drink. What else doesn't she do, Garrett?
00:38:36
Speaker
Well, later we find out she's a virgin. And that ends up being a huge plot point later. But the next scene, I think is a big tell of something about Jon Heard. Because he's he's higher up at the zoo, it seems, not the highest up, but- It's a curator.
00:39:00
Speaker
His job there is general zoo. If you need to do an animal autopsy, he's gotcha. If you need and to re-stock the plushies at the gift shop. i He's there. If you need someone to go track down a leopard in a whorehouse and get it out, he's there. He's gonna call dibs every time on that gig. Every time. Cause he's got a pocket full of $25.
00:39:29
Speaker
We end up, at the the next day we see them at the zoo and we see the we see Alice, um Washington elephant. This is the other zookeeper that we see with with Ed Begley Jr. She's like a redhead. ah No, it wasn't. no no no i No, I loved her. I loved her.
00:39:51
Speaker
I thought I loved Irena. I loved Alice. like i am I was in a love triangle and couldn't decide. Who you loved more. You were in the same position as Oliver, which is Jon Hard's character. And he's just surrounded by pretty ladies here at the zoo.
00:40:12
Speaker
Well, as she walks up to him in that scene, she kisses him on the face. It's almost like they do have a relationship. He definitely is in the business of getting hot women jobs at the zoo.
00:40:24
Speaker
Well, they sort of imply later that they have dated in the past and that it didn't work out. Of course. Oyster bar. Day one. ah Day one. One hundred percent. But yeah, she's our main girls working at the the gift shop, a gift shop at a zoo where they sell stuffed unicorns, I want to point out, which is just emblematic of how terrible the zoo is. They are selling animals that don't exist, stuffies. And ah also you have to hit the cash register for it to work. Alice comes in and invites Irina to the bar. This is where we find out that she's, ah where we find out Irina's a virgin. And we get a really weird little moment that doesn't come back to mean anything. Nope. Is there having this conversation, this like Spanish jaja gabor type woman.
00:41:22
Speaker
Very dramatic looking. Just as like mi hermana. And like vanish, like it is weird. But what the fuck, like, once again, I'm just like, okay, voodoo stuff. This is maybe another voodoo lady. The voodoo ladies know. The voodoo ladies know. No, they are not voodoo ladies. I assume that this is supposed to imply that this woman is another cat person. I don't...
00:41:48
Speaker
know how she, I mean, I guess, you know, she can sniff out her own. Yeah, it was definitely strange and it does not come back. We skip ahead a little bit. We see um Ed Begley Jr.
00:42:03
Speaker
Yes, it has this is a panther or whatever has been here for a couple days now. And yeah, they're like, it's time for you to have a bath. We need to clean out your cage. And the panther won't do what it's told. And then this idiot who I swear he must have just started working here today.
00:42:24
Speaker
I mean, we know that's not true. We saw him here before, but he apparent there are no protocols at this zoo. The zoo is a dump. The zoo is bad. It should be condemned. But yeah, what does he do, Garrett, when the when the leopard won't do what he's saying and the leopards clearly getting agitated and starting to pace around and growl? What's he going to do? what What should you do in that situation?
00:42:44
Speaker
Well, you definitely should tase the animal. However, when you tase the animal, don't do what Ed Begley Jr. does and scrap the whole goddamn thing to your arm like some sort of rocket launcher in a video game where you can't get that out once the panther- And then put your whole arm in, even though the taser's on a nice long stick. ah Just put your whole arm through the bars. That's the thing they tell you to do at zoos.
00:43:13
Speaker
Ed Begley Jr. gets that arm ripped off. We see the tendies rip out. It's gross. There are buckets of blood pouring out onto the floor. Fuck it. All over Irena's shoes. It's messed up. John Heard and Alice go to get a gun. They turn around and the cage is covered in goo. That same condom hairball jizz mess from the whore house from earlier.
00:43:43
Speaker
And the the panther's gone because the zoo is again terrible. There's no locks on these cages, I guess. we don't what Why would we need that?
00:43:54
Speaker
Where did he go? And then we're back at home with Irina and Paul, Malcolm McDowell comes stumbling in and his all black clothes looking so hilariously fucked up. Like his hair is fucked up. He it looks like he's in such a bad mood. And he's just like, I was in prison for three days.
00:44:21
Speaker
And she's like, you were in prison? And he was like, yes, praying for the souls of the condemned. And she's like, what? And then he starts talking about how you want to fuck that zookeeper, don't you? And she's like, how do you know about that? And he it it becomes pretty clear that he is, in fact, ah the cat.
00:44:46
Speaker
The conversation they have was like, do you remember as a child when the other animals would call you names? And she's like, you're insane. And he's like, no, I'm not. I'm a cat man. And she will not verbatim, but leaps off the balcony as he's trying to like kiss her and get like all up in her business. She leaps off the balcony with beautiful cat like grace and It's gorgeous. And she goes running off into the New Orleans night where she runs into the cops pretty quickly. and And the cops are like, ma'am, are you okay? And she's like, yeah, I'm fine.
00:45:26
Speaker
for some reason doesn't want to tell them about her creepy brother who just tried to assault her. Instead, she's like, no, I'm just a silly woman. What do I know? ha ha And the dog in the back of the cop car starts going crazy. And as we all know, a dog in the back of the cop car barking a lot is in fact a search warrant. So they just come on inside and they find the horror basement.
00:45:51
Speaker
So, okay, let me ask you this question. Yes, there is a horror basement with a bunch of dead bodies where Paul's been gnawing on hookers mostly. like a chain like thing down there. I don't know who's been chaining him up. Has he been chaining himself? Well, Famale. Famale, I don't know why. That's a roommate dude. They're roommates. Let me ask you this, Kit. The dog is barking and they go inside. Mm-hmm.
00:46:20
Speaker
Was the dog barking because there were dead bodies inside? Or were the dog was the dog barking because she's a cat?
Horror Elements and Tension Building
00:46:30
Speaker
100% because she's a cat. The horror basement was a coincidence. And those cops were lucky that they didn't get in trouble for breaking into somebody's house for no reason. Because that's not a cadaver dog. That's a drug dog. That's a racism dog. That is a racist dog.
00:46:50
Speaker
Yeah, that dog just knew Famale was inside and was like, I don't like the look of her. Yeah, that that shit is.
00:47:01
Speaker
yeah So yeah, we got our horror basement and they immediately are like, okay. Call the zoo. Call the zoo, we need the zoo. It is not clear when, how, or any of this that the zoo people showed up, but they're suddenly there. This movie is very bad with showing transitions, ah but the zoo friends are all here.
00:47:23
Speaker
Kit, while you said they're so bad at showing transitions, we absolutely have to mention this as far as transitions. There are multiple spots in this movie where the only way to show you that it's going to a new scene now is to go to total blackness for five full seconds.
00:47:44
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. What the fuck? That is such shitty. felt Like, yeah, I know this movie is what it is. But yeah I mean, a fucking star wipe would have been better than would have been better, honestly, because, yeah, there's at the end of they're at the bayou house and then suddenly they are at the city house. And that was never explained how when they got there.
00:48:09
Speaker
had there was my Yeah, I couldn't use five seconds then to know that we've done something like time. Literally anything. They're very bad at that. But anyway, so they're like, OK, I'm sorry, lady, but your brother is ah clearly a serial killer.
00:48:25
Speaker
who is feeding his victims to his panther as some sort of religious ritual because he's he's some kind of religious fanatic who's been in and out of psych ward since he was a kid. And also, we're pretty sure if Amalie is into it, we're arresting her just because she's just yeah, the dog says the dogs. The dog said throw the book at her. We don't necessarily have evidence, but um he says he does.
00:48:52
Speaker
they They they're so immediately to be like, I read as clearly innocent and I'm like, is it because she's pretty? Is it because she's a pretty white lady that you don't think she's a murderer? But I mean, there is the pretty good evidence that like, clearly, this guy's the the bodies have been down there way longer than this lady's even been in town. So I think it's actually I'm going to give them a pass on that one.
00:49:16
Speaker
But they're like, no, Irina, you probably wanted to kill you too. Your brother's a serial killer. You should not stay at this house while your brother's on loose. And when they- Oh, she needs a place to stay. Garrett, where's she going to stay? Oh, John Hurt. He's like, hey but hey, pretty lady. Come sleep at my house. i'll like I'll even keep you warm. I won't wear pants. I won't wear pants if it makes you more comfortable.
00:49:39
Speaker
She has known this man for three days, maybe four tops. And he has offered her a job and now a place to live. And oysters. And oysters. Like the presumption of this man, the power imbalance in this relationship. Well, joke's on him. She's a panther lady. So she'll have, you know, her come up and say yes.
00:50:07
Speaker
Prior to that, though, we did get the information, I thought this was fun, that most of the people that were killed down, there were prostitutes, runaways with their genitals torn off, and also that their folks were carnival people, lion trainers, that both committed suicide. Yeah, that, I felt like, deserved more of an explanation. Why, when... Well, we do get to why.
00:50:33
Speaker
Oh, do we? Cause I do not remember that. I think so. I think it makes sense. Like once we get the reveal, because I mean, we could go ahead and just jump way ahead and explain the how and the why of the cat shit. Let's just get into it. Okay, Garrett. They explain it in the movie far too late. Far, far too late. Do they explain the rules of how this stupid cat curse works? If it's a curse, it's not really a curse. It's just their species. I guess they're just born this way.
00:51:09
Speaker
Well, so yeah, and you're right. It is so long into the movie that I thought I missed it, or we just aren't going to get an explanation, but the explanation- I think we weren't gonna get one, yeah.
00:51:21
Speaker
The explanation that Malcolm McDowell gives is that their ancestors- Is it Malcolm Is it Or is it a dream version of him that she sees, like, hallucinates while she's on a train? So I don't even know if any of this information is accurate because she is on a train.
00:51:42
Speaker
so His explanation does mostly make sense, except for a couple scenes where it absolutely doesn't follow the the logic, but in the dream where he is very sexy and shirtless and cat prowling and in the red sand and there's some sort of Mad Max cat fucking, I don't even know what century, I couldn't even begin. So he explains that their ancestors sacrificed their children to the black leopards, and once their souls matured within the black leopard, then the leopards became human. yeah and if the he And if as a human, you have sex with another human, it turns you into a black leopard.
00:52:35
Speaker
And the only way to turn back human human is to kill somebody as the Black Leopard, which now that I know this, and out Malcolm McDowell says, this is why we need to be together, because we can fuck and live a normal life as brother and sister lovers. Just like our parents did,
00:53:04
Speaker
just like our parents did, let me throw this other option out there, Kit. Celibacy? It's an interesting thought, isn't it? You could also just fuck no one, but the problem I think is... I'm not sure, because it's not clear how it works. If you masturbate, do you turn into a cat? Yes or no?
00:53:30
Speaker
No, um I think as long as the hymen's intact, because it's once her hymen breaks that she starts getting cat- She starts to go kind of feral just from being super horny and then she goes and kills a rabbit out in the woods and she feels better and gets like more normal. so um But then and she runs up that tree earlier too.
00:53:52
Speaker
Yeah, well, I think you have like cat-like grace and powers all the time. the Hence how you can be such a good circus performer is that you always have some enhanced abilities as a performer. Is it implied that the parents themselves were the cats in the show? Like one would be the cat and one would be the like tamer?
00:54:15
Speaker
In which case, that is so cheating because like that's ah that's just a person pretending to be a cat. You didn't actually tame anyone. Well, like that bear in the China zoo.
00:54:27
Speaker
Which I also think is great. Not in this movie, folks. Different zoo. Real life zoo. um So yeah, that that bit does, like I get the logic, I get what they're telling me, but later in the movie- Okay, so who did Malcolm McDowell have sex with that he turned into a panther the first time in this movie? See, that was on his pizza run. He fucked somebody along the way. Somebody, and then he didn't kill whoever he fucked on the pizza run. He decided to go, but he was a man when he walked into the
00:55:04
Speaker
ah into the the massage parlor though, wasn't he? Correct, but he could have gone into the massage parlor, fucked somebody, left, hid in the other room as a cat, because when you fuck in this movie, you don't instantly turn into a cat. It does seem like an hour long process. There is some down time.
00:55:25
Speaker
there is there's There's a bit of a locked room mystery ah that they're trying to figure out of how did the cat get into the hotel room. And it's like, well, a man walked in there and then that man ran away somehow. And then there's when the cat got in, but we don't know how the cat got in because there's bars on the windows. And obviously the security guy didn't see him come in the front. So like how?
00:55:54
Speaker
when did he become a cat is my question jen who did he fuck he hadn't fucked the hooker yet but he could have fucked like we didn't see his whole night okay so you're implying that he fucked someone out on the street while he was getting pizza he is insane yes And then while transforming into a cat was like, ah shit, I better get inside this hotel and order me a hooker. And so he does that and 45 minutes pass while she's getting a babysitter and she shows up and he is there already a cat ready to murder her to turn back into a person, but he doesn't murder her. Hence how he gets captured and put in the zoo.
00:56:37
Speaker
I see all of that is sound. All of that is sound and plausible. What isn't plausible or sound or logical is later she stabs her brother in the knuckles in the hand with a shard of glass when they have a confrontation later in this movie.
00:56:53
Speaker
and he turns into a fucking cat. There's no rules about getting stabbed. There's nothing that should have turned him into a cat. That's why I think maybe if you just come in your pants, you still turn into a cat and him getting stabbed by his sister got him off.
00:57:09
Speaker
but the incest can't like, it avoids it. Maybe it was ah John Heard coming into the room and brandishing a shotgun made him come in his pants. Like a real good, he had a fear boner and it just exploded. And then he like, American werewolf embarrassed himself out of his body into a leopard that he was,
00:57:35
Speaker
a truly a nightmare in that scene when he goes from Malcolm McDowell to Gad. It was great. It's so scary. Great horror effects. um But anyway. We're so far all over the place with this movie, but yeah. Yeah. But anyway, so we go let's go back to ah the zoo. The zoo man has invited her to stay with him at his cabin in the bayou as all Looks like an Airbnb that he's gotten from some redneck man. Yeah. So he's got a fish in place out on the bayou. Oh my god. And their fishing kit. Oh my god. She is wearing these cutoff jean shorts and thigh-high waders. And it's one of the sexiest looks I've ever seen. It's incredible.
00:58:23
Speaker
ah you you don't You think I'm lying out there? You guys, you think I'm crazy? No, it's in it's amazing. She like bends over to like put her crabs or fish in a bucket. And Jesus Christ, Garrett, did you believe in God? 10 out of 10. Did you believe in God for a moment that someone had given you this gift? For the first time in my life, yeah. i I actually said the Lord's Prayer last night. I have every night since I've seen this movie. And um I don't know, this is this did change a lot. I think 2025 is gonna be a weird year. We haven't even hit actual sex or nudity in this movie at this point. And that, what we did once, I guess the hooker at the beginning. We got the hooker's boobs. And then other than that, it's been like the sweater. ah the sweat ah And the sweater was a thousand times better than what happened with the hooker.
00:59:17
Speaker
It's so true that Sweaters is next to God. I am in love with this woman. She's so beautiful and they keep putting her in these perfect, shockingly perfect outfits for her. Anyway, so she gets naked out on the bayou for no reason.
00:59:36
Speaker
ah
00:59:39
Speaker
ah Clearly, the reason she hasn't gone like the full panther thing, yet is she has not had sex. Yes. And she told Alice that she's just like never met a guy that she really felt strongly enough about that she wants to have sex with him.
00:59:55
Speaker
John Heard is forward at this cabin. When he starts kissing her, like his hand, like they have been, their lips have touched for approximately two seconds before his hand is down the front of her shirt. And there is far too much tongue. He wanted them sweater puppies so bad. Well, I mean, that's the thing is I think he feels entitled. He spent all day with her and those waiters.
01:00:19
Speaker
I mean yeah that's i I on the one hand you're right Garrett after yeah you can see him see her bend over in those waiters and you're like I get it dude I hundred percent get it but get your shit together just because you gave this woman a job and she can stay in your cabin for a couple nights does not mean you can just go straight for second base not acceptable
Failed Romance and Emotional Tension
01:00:46
Speaker
I agree. I'm not sorry. that My pause wasn't disagreeing. I was still just listening. You're still just thinking about them sweater puppies. Yeah, I got I got lost.
01:00:58
Speaker
Yes. Just like Zandali, we're on our lovely trip to the bayou. But unlike in Zandali, this is not. Yeah, there's no there's no little dance. And ah she decides she can't go through with it. She's like, I'm sorry.
01:01:16
Speaker
I'm just not, I'm not ready for this. And he doesn't take it badly, but he also doesn't take it well. And ah Malcolm McDowell's out here prowling the cemeteries looking for strange.
01:01:30
Speaker
And he gets it immediately. He does have game. It's certainly his accent in New Orleans. This lady was probably from out of town, in town for this funeral. She met a cute British guy. Small town beauty queen vibe. Yes, small town beauty queen vibe. Guy with a cute accent. Doesn't matter about the fact that he's got British face. He's got British accent. That takes you a long way. And he takes your picture in the cemetery and then, you know,
01:01:59
Speaker
they're gonna go they're goingnna go hook up. And what is the next thing we see of them? Her saying, don't be upset, it happens all the time.
01:02:09
Speaker
She's just sitting there naked. He looks so ashamed that he couldn't get a a really nice shot of him sitting there on the bed, fully naked, just like looking so disappointed in himself. And it's like, my man, if you can't get it up because you're sad, you're going to end up killing somebody. You know, the other option is. Don't have sex with her, right?
01:02:35
Speaker
I think that's what I don't understand is part of the animal inside of you that you just have to reproduce and just celibacy isn't an option because he's also insane on top of being a cat. He's been celibate for all these years and it hasn't seemed to have like, she didn't even know that there was a danger that she might kill people and turn into a cat. She just didn didn't do it.
01:03:00
Speaker
Correct. And that is what saved her for so long because once she unlocks the sex thing, she's insane the rest of the movie. Like it's a I think it's just a switch that can't be turned off and she just got lucky with.
01:03:14
Speaker
with the fact that she had been choosy and the fact that like she had had a rough childhood growing up, you know, being growing up in an orphanage and foster homes. And she was just like, no, I don't I don't feel like I'm ready for that kind of of, you know, a commitment ah that comes along with that. So. So, yeah.
01:03:37
Speaker
ah The blonde lady sucks on Paul's flaccid penis for a little bit and he looks pretty disappointed in that too. But it gets it going. She's like, hey, that's better. So was it this sex that Paul had? He had just had this and then gets stabbed and starts to turn into the cat?
01:03:58
Speaker
No, no, no. He has sex with this woman, then kills her and turns back into a person. Back into Paul. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we see him wake up in the bathroom as a person. Covered in... Covered in viscera and income. He eats a little of it. He does, doesn't he? It's not good. That's not the first time he's done it, right? Like, it is weird. Oh, no.
01:04:23
Speaker
It must taste good, whatever that is. But we do see penis. When Malcolm McDowell is laying in the bathroom there, we see a little bit, just a little bit of penis. And I was happy for it. I'm glad we got a little bit of, a little, something sort of close to equality here. I mean, not really. Yeah, not really, because we didn't even discuss the- We see four tons of her. Yeah. Yeah, the enormous bush. Yeah, it's bigger than her boobs. Like it is a safari. Yeah, it's- And I ain't judging. No, it's fine. It's a probably of the time, of a time. But it's a lot. It's a lot. yeah And he had a lot too. Like everybody's very Bush. This is a very pro-Bush movie. Garrett Bush wasn't president yet. Well, I didn't understand the part when somebody came in and told her privates that a plane just hit the World Trade Center and it just kept reading a book with children.
01:05:21
Speaker
And then she transformed into a cat. But no, based on when this came out, wouldn't no, Bush one wouldn't have been there yet either. Nope. So yeah, ah he killed that lady that gave him the BJ. The arm looks great. It's a nice slow roll down the sheets, the bloody sheets to see the the the torn off arm and then to the body.
01:05:47
Speaker
ah You know, we're we're having fun here with our um makeup effects. um And meanwhile, his sister is off declaring that like maybe she should never have sex and she doesn't know why because she doesn't know what we now know about the curse. She just has this, I guess, feeling that something bad will happen if she has sex with him, but she doesn't know what exactly.
01:06:15
Speaker
Well, because prior to this, like when she was walking around outside, she does kill a rabbit with her mouth. Yes. We really breezed over that. ah It goes into Predator mode. like where The colors, Duke, the colors. it'ss It's Technicolor mode, and because I guess that's how cats see.
01:06:36
Speaker
Do you think a tit grab is enough to like make you eat an animal raw? That's what I'm saying. You're saying like the bases are. Different bases turn you into different amounts of fat, and different amounts of murder get you back. So if all it's been is a titty grab, then you're going to go a little feral, but just killing a bunny will turn you back human. If you get to blowjob, it's it's more.
01:07:03
Speaker
And it's all the way, it's all the way cat. That's how, I mean, I don't remember exactly how it works in Animorphs, but you remember the way they look on the cover of the book where it's like child, child and a dolphin a little bit, but like there is the middle levels of like, I will eat an animal with my mouth for an over the pants, HJ.
01:07:27
Speaker
That's called the middle morph stage. And it is always the most heinous ah alien from God, ah not not of this, not acceptable, not okay, totally fucked up uncanny valley. I'm glad we got to the bottom of this and also like, yeah I really sad what's going to happen next time I read anamorphs. You're going to be thinking about panther jizz is what you're going to be thinking about.
01:07:56
Speaker
Oh, I'm going to turn into something. All right. So anyway, ah John Hurd's declaring his love and saying that I love you. you're You can't leave because she's like ready to walk out the door and say like, but I killed this rabbit. I don't feel good about my myself. I don't think we should sleep together. And he's like, no, I love you. And she's like, would you love me if we could never sleep together?
01:08:26
Speaker
And he's like, look, the important thing is that I love you. Which is not an answer to her question. And he just keeps saying like, I love you. I loved you before you were born. What does that mean? I don't know.
01:08:48
Speaker
He's on his own planet. In your mind, every time something bad happens to John Heard in this movie, like whether he gets that question or he's falling off a ladder while a panther's trying to eat him, or the rest of the panther attacks throughout the rest of the movie, in your mind, did he yell, Kevin? No, because I didn't know until you just told me but that was that was Kevin McAllister's dad. This is Peter McAllister, the father.
01:09:18
Speaker
And I'm just, the short timeline of how all of this has gone down has to look so strange to her co-workers. Like, okay, so your boss hires this girl that he clearly wants to have sex with, and you meet her and she seems like a nice enough person, you find out she's a virgin, that's interesting. Then your co-worker's arm gets ripped off and dies in front of all of you.
01:09:42
Speaker
That night, you find out that her brother is a serial killer who's been ah feeding people to his panther, the same panther that killed your coworker. And your boss is like, well, I'm going to take her home with me because clearly she can't stay here.
01:10:03
Speaker
And now he's obsessed with her and telling you all he loves her.
01:10:11
Speaker
i love her i get it I spent two hours with her and i like he got three days and that fishing trip. Including that fishing trip, which was the hot pants waiters combo. You're right. I'm i'm the idiot here. we yeah I mean, you get it. Like we both have been there. I mean, we lived this movie too. We were flying on the wall for this. right A fly that we turned into from somebody rubbing her butts or something.
01:10:43
Speaker
So, ah they the I because the the panther killed, everyone knows that a panther killed this, I don't know, small town beauty queen tourist. ah They're like, the panther's on the loose again, and this is all your fault, zookeepers, for letting the panther escape.
01:11:02
Speaker
And i so he's out looking for the panther, so is Alice, all the zookeepers are while Irena stays at home. And there's so many weird exchanges here ah where like the, I guess, I don't know if he's like the zoo manager or owner or...
01:11:23
Speaker
some john lerrika Yeah, that is just like, this is your fault. And John heard punches him in the face, then immediately says, I'm sorry. yeah you can hear bo yeah And then turns to Alice and says like, he's right, you know, and she's like, what? And he responds with nothing. And she says again, what? what
01:11:50
Speaker
This dialogue sounds like it was written by aliens who don't entirely understand how humans communicate. But I think that's part of the charm of this movie because I also- Oh, 100%! If it wasn't like this, I wouldn't be as good. Yeah, I don't even know if this movie's a so bad it's good situation. I think this movie just rules.
01:12:15
Speaker
ah not Like it's it's dumb as hell, but I am I am here for the ride. Everything's exciting. So then Malcolm McDowell jumps in a window and tells her save me. Only you can stop this killing. You've got to make love with me as brother and sister. We can live together as mates just as our parents did.
01:12:44
Speaker
You do know that they were brother and sister, don't you? And that is how this is revealed. Like, I think that explains them killing themselves. Is that like, you just don't want to live with this, like, brother and sister incest. No, they had lived with, they knew they were incestuous, their whole, what, are you telling me they killed themselves because they didn't like the idea of their children fucking each other just like they had fucked each other?
01:13:11
Speaker
No, no, no, I think that they just were tired of doing it. No, they weren't. Come on. Carney people that are doing like ah ah my wife's a cat act out in like Boise, Idaho on the weekends. You're living off of fried foods. You are surrounded by weirdos. Yes, you're fucking your sister. Yeah, yeah, you just end it all because celibacy isn't an option for reasons I don't know.
01:13:45
Speaker
Well, once you've unlocked, it's it's like why in old old times, by old times, I mean like the 60s that if a divorced woman moved into town, all the other women would be like nervous because once a woman's had sex, she will want it again. And she will come after your husband. And that was the thing people genuinely believed is that like a woman can be celibate her whole life and be totally fine. But as soon as she's had sex, she will want it again forever. Because that's how female sexuality works, I guess. And so, yes, once you've unlocked the kitty cat inside you, Garrett, you can't put that cat back in the bottle.
01:14:32
Speaker
Well, this movie does seem, you know, racist and sexist. um So ah that checks out.
01:14:43
Speaker
And also, like, whoever wrote this came from a place of celibacy is fucking stupid. So like, I don't even need to explain that. Like, everybody's just going to get that not fucking isn't an option. is not an option. But yeah, he jumps on the bed, Malcolm McDowell jumps on the bed in the most incredible way possible. I can't explain it. i just You just go watch the movie because the way he gets on this bed is magnificent. And he's like, come come lie next to me. And she's like, no. And he says, and i I had to write it down again, but the quote, because it's so batshit insane. He says, Oliver doesn't love you.
01:15:23
Speaker
He loves the panther. He wants you because he fears you. Let Alice have him. She thinks his fear is courage and he thinks his fear is love. They were made for each other. And I had to stop and rewind because I was like, that don't make no fucking sense.
01:15:48
Speaker
And it still doesn't. I don't know what he means by any of that. I think that's just pseudo-intellectual sounding nonsense that he was just saying to try to confuse her. Yeah, if you say that with a British accent, it sounds smart as fuck. Oh, you're right. I was the idiot saying it in my normal boring Midwestern accent instead of a fancy posh accent. Then it would- You must add some sort of celibacy goggles on when he was reading that.
01:16:14
Speaker
and Yeah. So then they start nuzzling each other like cats. And it very much reminded me of the movie Cats 2019, the way they were nuzzling each other. Is that an erotic thriller? Uh, not nearly enough. People get stabbed in that one. Well, they do go to the Jellicle place. You're right. Someone does die at the end.
01:16:39
Speaker
And they all are fighting for that. Everybody wants to die. Everyone's very much badly to die. ah But anyway, the nuzzling was a
Visual Transformations and Surreal Elements
01:16:48
Speaker
ruse. She stabs him, but she only stabs him in the hand, which seems pointless. I don't know why she even bothered. And this one starts to transform for reasons. Into a cat. And you see the like fur come out of the cut on his hand. It's so gross, so cool. Loved it.
01:17:05
Speaker
Yeah, we're definitely in a time period where the body horror transformation thing was just like, you could tell it was studios being like, you need that scene. People like the American werewolf scene. Like we need a cool transformation. And honestly, I think this one isn't as long and drawn out as that one, but it is scary and impressive. Like it is effective as a scary scene.
01:17:30
Speaker
for sure, for sure. And I mean, and Malcolm McDowell is selling it the whole time so well. He's incredible. Especially when John Heard finally walks in the room and he is just this grotesque, like he looks like Jeff Goldblum in the fly, like where he's you know not fully transformed yet. He's just really gross. And in a voice that's a mixture between him and a cat, her screams Oliver,
01:18:01
Speaker
And I shit my pants. Like, that's terrifying.
01:18:07
Speaker
Yeah, and this was also where I got confused about which house they were in because it never explained that that they were back in the city house, that they were not in the bayou anymore. It was very confusing. And um I'm not the kind of person that normally needs every single scene laid out for me. I can fill in the gaps, but this one ah very much confused me on times and locations.
01:18:34
Speaker
Anyway, Alice shoots it out the window with a shotgun. Irene is crying in the rain. Yeah, Michael Myers dead on the ground. And then we're doing a cat autopsy because... That's one of his jobs. That's one of his jobs. This is The Foley work is magnificent.
01:18:54
Speaker
Yeah, he opens up the cat, and there's a hand inside, and then some yellow, like, mustard gas comes out, and then the cat melts, and leaving no evidence behind, I guess. And I realized- Kevin!
01:19:13
Speaker
Irene is very confused and she's like the only person who is left alive who can tell me what's going on is Famale, who we forgot about for like an hour. So she goes to jail and is like, fama is nothing what's up? And Famale says absolutely nothing of you. She's just like, sorry, if he's dead, you have to never love and be alone now forever.
01:19:35
Speaker
And that's all I'm willing to tell you. Why are you asking me questions you already know the answer to? And it's like, because she doesn't know the answer, you fucking psychopath. She does not know yet. Also, who How do you know my brother? How do you know my family? Why are you living in our house?
01:19:54
Speaker
are you a cat person are you a cat person are you a like were you one of the people who like your ancestors worshiped the cat people in the oldie times I don't know they're not gonna tell us we never see her again
01:20:11
Speaker
So Irene is like, all right, I guess I'm going to be alone forever now. I'm getting on a train. To Richmond, Virginia. Richmond, Virginia. Even though she said she wanted to go north and put some money on the table and was like, how far will this get me? And he was like, Richmond. And it's like, she said she wanted to go north. That's as far as $22 would go from New Orleans. I've taken the train from Chicago to New Orleans. just go that way. That's north.
01:20:42
Speaker
$22 don't get you that way. $22 won't get you a whorehouse handjob, Kit. Or a whorehouse massage. It'll get you up and not to the east, at least. Don't.
01:20:55
Speaker
question this man. he did good He did right by her. He got her out of the city. she's yeah is like She said, I want to go north. He said, best I can do is Richmond. Let's get to the important part of this movie, Kit. What I've been waiting 90 minutes for. I've been sitting in this movie watching Alice for 90 minutes.
01:21:15
Speaker
Did you think that the movie was over at this point? Because I did. I thought when she got on the train that the movie was over and then I kept waiting for and then I.
01:21:32
Speaker
No, instead she has a she's like falls asleep on the train and has a surrealist dream sequence where she sees shirtless Malcolm McDowell who finally finally explains how the damn curse works and then she sees a cat and she's like mother Because I guess all of them Live in a surrealist dreamscape even after they're dead. I don't know point is um I She has to go back now. Malcolm McDowell's like, you gotta go back to New Orleans. And we never question New Orleans. And she never had 22 more dollars, so she has to walk, I guess. I guess! She put all her money down. But no, I knew it wasn't over, because I have two loves of my life in this movie kit, and I didn't get closure with the other one. That's so true, because now we're back to Alice, and she's running, and... Gonna have a little dip in the pool. Get a little dip in the pool over at the YWCA. Do you see the IMDB trivia though about the receptionist here at the YWCA? Mm-mm.
01:22:36
Speaker
Oh, I'm so excited to get to tell you this. So that woman who plays the receptionist, who lets her in even though it's after hours, um this was one of her only movie roles. She didn't do very many after this. She like retired from her career, got married, had kids, died in 9-11 on one of the planes that hit the tower. I know! Her name's on the memorial.
01:23:01
Speaker
but No, that's really, I mean, that obviously very sad, but yeah not what I was expecting you to say because we already referenced 9-11 earlier. No, weird. But yeah, it was at this point that I was like, wait a minute, how is this movie still going? And there was another 27 minutes left. Alice was beautiful.
01:23:22
Speaker
But yes, we get Alice and we get Alice because she's the only one here at the YWCA and it's after hours. Is she going to swim with a top on Garrett? No, and I don't know if she intended to do that, though, but because there was a kitty cat growling in the locker room and it scared her and she ran topless and jumped in the pool to, I guess, get away from the cat. I was going to say, is it because cats don't like water? And she was like, Oh, obviously, as a zookeeper, I know the best way to escape from a panther is to jump in a pool.
01:24:00
Speaker
But we do know this, if you've seen the 70s movie Roar, which is absolutely batshit insane, all filmed with live tigers, Jan de Bont was the DP on it, he was scalped on the second day of making the movie. I heard about that, yes, yes, I have seen the documentary about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:24:20
Speaker
but You got to see the real movie at some point. It's bonkers fun. Love, roar, seek it out. But I went to a screening of that with one of the kids of the parents who ran the place. Oh my God. He said that like on set what they learned was that basically as soon as one of those jungle cats touches water, it doesn't matter if that you've known that cat its whole life, it goes absolutely feral. And I knew that and she didn't, so I got really worried for her in the pool.
01:24:52
Speaker
but Alice is beautiful, she's naked, water makes everybody more attractive. so true I was, I don't know, I felt like a weird pervert. I think Paul Schrader is a weird pervert. I think everybody involved in this movie was a weird pervert and we got this out of it and it's awesome. I mean, yeah, like good things did did come from this, you know? um We all benefited.
01:25:21
Speaker
Kit, real quick, one last thing, if you don't mind. Oh yeah, sure. I waited so long to get a little peek at Alice in this movie that it felt like I was waiting for marriage. Like the 90 minutes that I had to wait to get there, by the end, I felt like I was on like my wedding night with her. I'm so happy for you two. And it all worked out. She's still got a zoo job or life.
01:25:50
Speaker
Yeah, her life seems to be going fine by
Character Evolution and Identity
01:25:53
Speaker
the end. I mean, it's definitely one of the more tense and scary scenes of her like alone in this pool with no top on while there might be a goddamn panther nearby.
01:26:06
Speaker
um So Irene does walk in and she is suddenly a completely different person. Like having this dream with Malcolm McDowell somehow seems to have unlocked this uber confident, sexy woman that she was not before. She is prowling and she wants to terrify Alice. ah She shreds her clothes and. Oh, man, that'd be a good luck to.
01:26:36
Speaker
I know right? i it It was a little disappointing I have to say because I feel like if we really needed a scene where we got to see her like make the choice to become the sexy badass cat lady like you know what I don't want to be a virgin for the rest of my life I am going to become a sexy cat lady. And that would have been the perfect time to have the fucking needle drop from the Bowie song playing as she's like sexing herself up, getting ready to go out on the town, kill a lady and fuck a dude. That would have been rad. But no, we just go back to John Hurd's house because he's easy and we want to be a cat.
01:27:19
Speaker
Yeah, she's walking around his apartment topless. It looks amazing. She looks amazing. He knows at this point that like he's just gotten a call from Alice being like, I think she's here. She's a cat. She's a cat. I'm pretty sure she's a cat and she's definitely crazy. And I think she wants to kill me. And his response to that is, yeah, I'll call you back. Click. Hello.
01:27:46
Speaker
And yeah, he's not gonna, like, he is clearly scared, but once again, Malcolm McDowell, whatever, he's like, he he's got a fear boner from you and he's got to, like Nicole Kidman and baby girl, get his nut. So he's gonna do that. And as she's walking up naked and he's following, taking his clothes off, she pops her earrings off. And my theory is those came off because a leopard in earrings would look fucking stupid. It would look stupid and, you know,
01:28:17
Speaker
Uh, we also find out that yes, she doesn't wear a bra, but also she doesn't wear panties because when she slips that skirt off, ain't nothing there neither. He's asking no questions. He knows that he is a lucky, lucky man and he is not, not going to stir anything up, not going to jeopardize this. Uh, they have.
01:28:38
Speaker
sex and she seems disappointed. Right. The look on her face says disappointed. Like she goes into the bathroom and she notes that like she has bled to some, ah but she's not turning into a cat yet. I don't know if she's disappointed in the sex or not being a cat or maybe both. um But don't worry. Next thing you know, she's real sweaty and catty. We watch a close up of her boobs disappearing.
01:29:09
Speaker
Maybe Kat kind of bursting through her nipples? I don't know. It's hard to tell. Her whole skin bursts off at the end and she is Kat now. Up until the skin fully left, I was still on board. like And I think Jon Heard would have been too. He seems pretty unperturbed. He seems totally like, oh, yeah, I had a feeling this was gonna happen. Well, is she gonna kill me? Oh, no, she's not gonna kill me. That's nice.
01:29:38
Speaker
She's got real Buffy villain face too. like It looks like- Oh, yes. 100%. That is exactly correct. That is the makeup they gave her as Buffy villain, 100%. It makes me wonder if Cat People was an inspiration for the look of the vampires in Buffy. Yeah, kind of. it i I would see it. I can see that. Oh, her face tearing through the skin was grotesque.
01:30:04
Speaker
It was. It's so gross. And he seems to be like, all right, guess I got to go kill my cat lover. Well, I got, you know, that's what a guy's got to do. What a guy's got to do. And he tracks her down and she kills the guy that like rented him the cabin or whatever. And she's all back to being a sexy, naked human again. Actually, she's not naked. I think she's wearing his clothes like the dead guy's clothes. She looks very cute. She's in like a flannel.
01:30:36
Speaker
She looks good. What can I say? um And she's like, kill me. And he's like, nah. And she's like, well, then fuck me. Like, I don't know. Do something.
01:30:48
Speaker
basically like the agreement they come to is like, you need to help me put an end to this. And the song that came to mind when he's just immediately like, yes, is the song from Greece to where the guy lures the girl into um like the bomb shelter and is like, to do it for your country.
01:31:13
Speaker
Yes, yes, I know what you're talking about. that's It's terrible. It is literally that song in my mind as he is tying this woman to the bed. and He has her clothes off. He takes his clothes off. She takes her clothes off. She takes her clothes off amazingly because she's like she just starts taking her top off and then walks into the house and looks at him staring at him through the window as she like slides the pants off too.
01:31:42
Speaker
It is so hot. She looks so gorgeous. And I wouldn't be able to help myself either. It makes perfect sense that he's like, look, I got a solution for how I can have sex with you and not die.
01:31:59
Speaker
he Yeah, he ties her to the bed. It's incredible, y'all. It's so good. I just thought like when he tied her there, he's like, because I'm still singing like, do it for your country in my head. And it was just like, Uncle Sam ordered Morcon Olingus. She arousal. She hisses with arousal. We do see his butt. It's great. And then cut to he's back at work.
Living with the Extraordinary
01:32:32
Speaker
He's kissing Alice at work. So like they're in a relationship and and they're like, I'll see you at the house later. So like they're living together and they're living together and he is, ah has a side piece in the panther that now has to live in that horrible little concrete cell, that little five by six cell is now where his cat lover lives. This scene is so amazing, because he goes over. That is his cat girlfriend. He feeds her a little piece of raw meat, rubs her behind the ears, and it frees frames on the best panther face. And the Bowie song starts a plan. Yep. I'm putting out fires with gasoline.
01:33:25
Speaker
And when we hit that good part, it unfreezes, scares you with a roar, and then goes back to credits. This is the perfect ending. This is actually so similar to the ending of Tusk. So my question for you, Garrett, is does he ever feed her somebody so that he can have sex with her again? Or is it just like she is in permanent cat form?
01:33:51
Speaker
she is far the way i interpret it is she asked for that like make me a cat get me stuck in here absolutely not no one and i mean no one would be like okay lots of people would be like i want to be an animal i want to live free and beautiful in my animal form nobody wants to live in that concrete cell Garrett, she stared at that panther in that cell for six hours. She knows it sucks. Why would she want to live there? There's no way, no way she is happy there. That is not being free and living like an animal. That's not embracing your animal nature. That's being stuck in prison.
01:34:32
Speaker
Well, I send you back yet again to the song from Grease 2. This isn't for her. This is bigger than her. She's doing it for her country. Why not just release her into a jungle then? That's gonna turn into a whole thing. He works for a zoo. He can get an animal, re- what do you call it when you release him back to the wild?
01:34:54
Speaker
No, we've already heard from John Larroquette, they don't have the budget for anything. Like they wanted him to execute the cat at the beginning. And he's like, how much does that cost? It's like, what's a bullet cost? What's a shovel out back cost you? But no, she's doing it for her country. She's entertaining. What a waste. Feed it to the other cats. That's free meat for feeding your other animals.
01:35:21
Speaker
This fucking movie kit. like This fucking movie. The last hour, 40 minutes of this two hour movie is just so great, especially once you get that jaw dropping explanation of how the cat transformation works, which I was. and I didn't think we were going to get and comes so late, like, even Malcolm McDowell's explanation of it is not thorough enough for her to have any idea what's going on. He basically is just like, yeah, yeah, we turned into cat people, but don't worry if we fuck each other, nothing bad will happen. So you should do that.
01:36:02
Speaker
And that's, once again, where I get back into it, where she never gets to ask, well, what if we just don't fuck anybody? And he's like, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. You gotta to fuck somebody. but Like, yeah we live in a world.
01:36:15
Speaker
Yeah, celibacy's weird, and that's why everyone looked at her so weird that she was a virgin, where she even says she's like, why is why does everybody act like it's so perverse? Like, she's the pervert for being- Do you use the word perverse, which I love, that like the word virgin and the way people use it about her is the that she is the weird pervert for not having sex. And you know what, maybe that's a commentary on the 80s. Garrett, you ever think about that?
01:36:45
Speaker
I wasn't there for that long. I came in in 87 and I'll be honest, i I remember some cartoons and that's about it. I was there in 88. I remember nothing. Not a dang thing. It's really hard to remember anything pre-saved by the bell to be honest.
01:37:05
Speaker
I mean and like maybe there's like messages in here about sexuality and like female sexuality in particular. I mean this is based on an earlier movie from the 40s where the premise was just like this woman is worried that if she ever is truly aroused she will turn into a cat and kill people and then she does and then oh no that's too bad.
01:37:31
Speaker
Yeah, I heard from what I read, the only scene that's the same between the two of them is the Alice in a pool scene and the everything else is different. A similar thing to the Miermana scene as well. Only it's like in Serbian instead. I did. and I did read the ending to the 40s one, which sounded pretty cool, which was they're trying to trap her in the cage at the end. And she eats Oliver, I believe. Hell yeah. And then Alice essentially lets the cat out of the cage and it gets hit by a bus and dies. And then the body turns into. Irina, the lady. Yeah, yeah.
01:38:14
Speaker
OK, so that means that it was not there like somebody looked at that movie and was like, OK, but like, what if I go with me on this one. About.
01:38:29
Speaker
A hundred percent more incest.
01:38:33
Speaker
Well, I mean, I don't know, but I can't imagine in the 40s they were letting them throw some incest movie out there. There's no she doesn't even have a brother in the movie. So like they invented a brother for her to have sex with. Why couldn't it just be that like you can only have sex with other cat people? Because like maybe Malcolm McDowell could have fucked the mere mana lady and they would have been fine. Maybe that wouldn't. Who the fuck was she?
01:39:01
Speaker
Some other cat person, I don't know. Also, like, is their species going extinct? Do they need to to propagate the species? I don't know. Again, with why the both parents committed suicide after years of just being totally fine with being incestuous circus freaks. And then one day they both decided, I guess, to like, no, no, we feel bad about it. I guess we'll kill ourselves and let our children be orphaned and separated.
01:39:32
Speaker
Also, who is Famale? Did she know the parents? Was she a part of the circus? I don't know. The answer to everything is it doesn't matter. And that this was certainly written on cocaine, oh you' directed on cocaine, yeah probably acted on cocaine.
Behind-the-Scenes Chaos
01:39:53
Speaker
You're not wrong.
01:39:54
Speaker
And some of the shit, like I wish I could have researched this more, because like all I was going over just the trivia section of this movie, there was a funny thing where the producer had to say to Paul Schrader, who I guess was not paying attention while they were having to watch a screening of it. And he's like, hey, if I have to watch this shit, you have to watch this shit. You're the one that made it.
01:40:22
Speaker
I mean, I would believe it 100 percent. And like you get the feeling that some stuff must have been lost on the cutting room floor because there are so many weird gaps and in like transitions that don't make sense. And maybe there was, a you know, something that where I guess they decided that the main character making the most important decision she will ever make was the one part we didn't need to see.
01:40:49
Speaker
like, okay, we've got like a long ass movie, we need to cut some shit. What don't we need? Well, I don't think we need the part where she's gonna understand like we're explain, figure out why she's gonna go from being a lifelong virgin to I must have sex. Even if I kill someone, that's not a big deal.
01:41:14
Speaker
I really think there was there had to have been just a conversation of like, anyone who's going to watch this movie and like this movie absolutely doesn't need those details. I needed them. I needed them.
01:41:30
Speaker
movie by dum dum, by dum dums for dum dums is like this kind of movie. It's so fucking stupid. I love it. This is cinema. This is why I wake up in the morning. Movies like this are why we started this podcast. Yes, there can be good ones in there. right And I don't even think this falls into dog shit because it's for the most part competently made on a weird script.
01:41:55
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. I mean, in the trivia too, it says there was a day where Paul Schrader was so high he didn't even leave his trailer. So to me, that says like a lot of days were probably kind of weird on this movie. You know, that is the least surprising thing that I've heard about the making of this movie is, yeah, I would 100% believe that. So Garrett, I think, I mean, I have a feeling I know where this is gonna go, but let's do it.
01:42:25
Speaker
Were you aroused? I was, I was Kit. I had two women in this movie I was fighting for. I would like to think that I was nicer than Jon heard. I absolutely feared her as well and certainly would have let our relationship go probably six months before I even invited her to my house. Let alone out for oysters.
01:42:52
Speaker
That goes back into tummy ache territory. where I want this date to last as long as possible. So once again, maybe a hot softy and a water is where we're going to start there. But, uh, get the waiters. I think you and I are on the same page on that where there's such a long gap in this movie where nothing sexy is happening.
01:43:17
Speaker
But once you hit that, your brain just absolutely forgets that you have most of these movies are so front loaded that this one is just like all hits you on the tail
Building Tension and Final Impressions
01:43:29
Speaker
end. yes This one gives you the tiny little tease at the beginning and of of the the bra.
01:43:36
Speaker
and The boob popping out of the the prostitute and then it gives you them sweater puppies and you're like, okay Okay. All right, and then it's a dry spell but really it's just teasing you It is just it's just stringing you along and when it pays off. Oh it pays off. Oh it pays off so well And i I prefer the fact that this is structured this way to to to not front load you with the sex, but instead to to build the sex and the thrills at the same time. That confuses your brain and your body in a really good way. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what to do other than five.
01:44:23
Speaker
I'm not gonna argue with these. I mean, those waiters alone would make it a four. ah You give me literally anything else, and it's a five. Irena and Alice both just were- Beautiful. I'd watch them in separate movies. this was They were just such beautiful, beautiful ladies. And as far as the dudes, I hate Jon Hurd's personality.
01:44:48
Speaker
yeah And yeah Malcolm McDowell does look pretty good when he is shirtless in that one scene. And you do see a little dong, it's not. If you're not into ladies, this movie may have less to offer you. I will say that much. Because it's a little bit. And Bagley Jr. You do get, I'm sorry, if you're not into ladies or watching a man's arm get ripped off at the socket,
01:45:14
Speaker
ah There may not be much for you to get off to here. I think there's a lot of ladies into that kind of thing. A man being disemboweled. That's why I left it open. I mean, it is pretty rad. Kit, did you say five as well? Or would you? I did. Five. Five, five, five. 100%. Were you thrilled?
01:45:38
Speaker
I was, I really was. When the cat popped out from under the bed, even though we see the tail wagging, that was hilarious. And that alone, because I did like these characters.
01:45:51
Speaker
I really, like aside from them being ah just attractive people and like on a superficial level, like I enjoyed them as actors. i enjoy it like I wanted nothing bad to happen to Alice. She didn't earn anything bad happening. She seemed like a nice lady who worked at the zoo. and She didn't design those cages.
01:46:12
Speaker
The Malcolm McDowell transformation was just so scary. He was he was scary. He is a captivating actor. He is so creepy when he wants to be. it It's so hard to look away from him and and it's so hard to not get like shivers running up your spine when he's like locking those eyes on you so yeah very very good very thrilling I would have liked one more death I would say if we could have killed off like the zoo administrator guy or some John if John yeah absolutely absolutely
01:46:53
Speaker
That's why I don't want to go full five with this, but man, the effects are so good. good Because once again, we're making this with a competent filmmaker at a major studio. So this is running on a real budget and was intended for people to be seen other than just on Cinemax late at night.
01:47:15
Speaker
Yeah. so Also, creepy incest brother's gonna gonna freak you out. Gonna go go to make your skin crawl. Like it's giving you the thrills. I'm gonna say four and a half. I'm actually with you there. I think five seems too generous, but I think four to four and a half is fair. and that's where I'll give it a high four. And a stupid question I know. Would you ruin your life for Irena, the cat person? Mm-hmm.
01:47:45
Speaker
Would you make a dumb dumb decision to have sex with her even though you know, she could turn into a cat and kill you Yes, you would I would do it for my country kit You're doing it for yourself and your own your own pleasure and that's okay I'm doing it for Nalins Doing it for the bayou I'm doing it for I'm doing it so no Cajun man running an Airbnb in the swamp ever has to be disemboweled and torn apart, and he doesn't deserve this, we don't deserve this, and I will do something about it. And that's beautiful, Garrett. i
01:48:30
Speaker
And what ruins my life is my broken heart, because my lover's in a cage the rest of her life. But you know what she gets from me? You're going to feed her a dead rat on occasion. Did we mention the fact that he pulls a dead rat out of his pocket when he is wearing a suit coat? He is specifically dressed nice. They draw attention to the fact that, hey, you're dressed nice today. And then he pulls a dead rat out of his pocket to feed to an animal. Yeah.
01:48:57
Speaker
Would I ruin my life for Zoo Man? No, I would not ruin my life for the Zoo Man. I'm just saying, like, if I am a sex-crazed cat lady, and I need to have sex, can't can't live my life without it. That's not the one person I'm gonna choose to have sex with and then be a cat forever. and Never know the the touch of a human man again. and Do you know how much it would have hurt him if she had gone for Ed Begley Jr.?
01:49:25
Speaker
Oh God, yeah, the betrayal. But yeah, no, also for Alice, I need to throw that out there because this is my love triangle that I am in. Yeah, but being with Alice doesn't ruin your life. Being with Alice is the perfect life. She's going to take good care of you. You are going to have a nice life together.
01:49:47
Speaker
See, I need this to be a Twilighty kind of situation where you gotta be team Irene or team ina or team Alice. or yeah well But she needs to be something else too. Like maybe she's a snake lady. Maybe she's a Medusa. um Okay, sure. Why not? um Are you ruining your life for Medusa Alice then?
01:50:10
Speaker
Stupid question. Of course you are. Turn that bitch just down. Yeah. Yeah. Where it's like turn, turn to a rocker.
01:50:23
Speaker
No, we both just have had our brains just absolutely destroyed in the same way. Yeah I will say so you know I mentioned I watched it with a friend we were talking I didn't like I didn't have a great time on my p yeah and the second time I want you to know when I watched it the second time I had been awake for 24 straight hours and then watch this movie. It was perfect. It was perfect. Full sober but sleep deprived makes you feel absolutely insane. i I applaud the filmmakers. I actually have a new favorite Paul Schrader movie. I don't know if I had one before, but it's this one now. It's this one now.
01:51:05
Speaker
need to throw it out there too. I have never wanted to buy a poster of one of the movies we watched. This movie has the best posters. And then the French one is even better. Yeah. they're so good yeah So overall, I think highly recommend it. Check it out. Enjoy it. Don't talk over it like Garrett did. Just enjoy this weird ass dialogue and these strange line reads and just let yourself be one with the cat. Where do you think in a power ranking of all the movies we've watched so far, does this one land for you?
01:51:50
Speaker
in terms of like how how much I enjoyed it in terms of yeah like what are we talking about? I mean obviously like our tops like Bound is probably number one movie we most enjoy. But and then like Love Lies Bleeding is probably pretty high up there too. But when you look at everything else like this is probably a pretty high ranking now right like as far as. With the scores we gave it absolutely. Also the score, the electronic beat boobs. Yeah. Amazing. Both the score and Bowie were nominated for Golden Globes because those are great. Those are exquisite. There is no denying it. There's no, no two ways about it. Hey, I don't know what else to say about this movie. This one was, this one was perfect. Go watch it. Watch it. It is worth your time. This should be in the criterion collection.
01:52:44
Speaker
i Agree a hundred percent. You know what Garrett treat yourself go get that poster. I am you I'm looking at it on you
01:52:53
Speaker
Hey everybody, thanks for listening. ah Let us know what you thought of this movie. Hit us up on Instagram at eroticthrillerclub eroticthrillerclub at gmail dot.com. If you have any questions, comments, concerns, make sure to tell your friends, ah like, subscribe, whatever it is. ah Tell your friends, especially all that nonsense. But yeah, the more people you ah help join the club, the better with the more the merrier.
01:53:22
Speaker
Yeah, this is, this is so fun. I'm, I feel like we're off to a hot start in 2025. Oh my God. Yes. I'm loving it. I don't know what we're doing next time yet, but it is going to be hard to top, but we're going to try our best. I'm so happy to be back on the bayou and that makes me want to shake you naked and eat you alive.