Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
The Big Easy (1986)
42 Plays6 days ago
It was only a matter of time until the Erotic Thriller Club stumbled upon a sexy Dennis Quaid/Ellen Barkin movie. Can a bad at sex DA and a corrupt cop with an insane accent find love?
Recommended
Transcript
Welcome to the Erotic Thriller Club
00:00:00
Speaker
Ladies, gentlemen, folks beyond the binary, grab your husband, wife, partner, mistress, the family Zydeco band and gather around the radio. It's time for this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club.
Exploring 'The Big Easy': Corruption and Romance
00:00:24
Speaker
Mysterious and dangerous and oh yes They've got all the sexiest movies out of the ages So if you're fatally attracted to the raciest stuff Erotic Film Club Basically instinctively crave the salacious Erotic Film Club If you want a raciest movie and you're too classy we're smart
00:01:06
Speaker
We're taking a trip back to New Orleans, where the etouffee is hot, the zydeco is hotter, the parade floats are zazzy, and the police are corrupt. Remy's a regular corrupt cop, unlike the super corrupt cops he works with.
00:01:21
Speaker
Anne is a DA just trying to do her job, but catches the eye of Remy. Can Remy seduce Anne, keep being a regular bad cop, and solve whatever the case that's going on in this thing is?
00:01:34
Speaker
This week on the Erotic Thriller Club, The Big Easy.
Introducing the Hosts and Genre Questions
00:01:39
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club. As is always, Garrett Callender and Kit Ryan here.
00:01:46
Speaker
And this is where we answer the genre's three most important questions. Was I aroused? Was I thrilled? And would I ruin my life for this person? God, it's good to be back in Louisiana!
00:01:59
Speaker
and We just can't can't get enough of this place. We're just we're we're drawn to it. It's a it's in our blood.
Jude Law's Appeal and 'Eden' Discussion
00:02:06
Speaker
but first But first, I had an enormous moment for me personally and erotic cinema.
00:02:17
Speaker
Okay. This is bucket list kit. For 21 years. 21 years. I have been blowing out candles on my birthday cake.
00:02:28
Speaker
And every time I do it, I say, sweet baby Jesus. Not even a religious person, but I got to get help from whoever is going to bring it.
00:02:37
Speaker
Can we see Jude Law's dong? Can we see Jude Law's dong, please? There is a film in theaters right now where you can see it.
00:02:48
Speaker
And when I watched that movie, I didn't know it was coming. And it hangs. was surprise. It hangs for a long time. Like you're just staring at it. And but my life changed. It happened. It wasn't necessarily the specific circumstances in which I had hoped to see it, but it finally happened. And you know, I'm happy.
00:03:09
Speaker
Like, I feel like we were hitting the end of where you would want to see Jude Law's dong. How old is he now? Like I was hoping for sky captain in the world at tomorrow. Gattaca. Gattaca dong would have been, yeah.
00:03:21
Speaker
I'd remember anything from that movie if i it fit that had happened.
00:03:27
Speaker
But yeah, there is an age cutoff in which I, I mean, I'll still look, but it's like, you'll still look yeah, like if it had happened in closer, I think that was like peak for me.
00:03:39
Speaker
But even if it's 87 year old Jude Law Dong, you'd want to see it. I mean, I'm going look, but it's not going to be the same. But I think it's still functional, looking good.
00:03:51
Speaker
and is still high-quality dong. It may be a little used. it's ah it's on the It's an older model, but still, it's going to get you where you need to go. It's been emotionally chewed up and spit out. It's been through for shit.
00:04:05
Speaker
It's possibly been actually chewed up and spit out. I mean, there was that whole thing with the nanny or whatever, you know, like that. It's life. So I'll see. Have you heard of this movie? It's called Eden.
00:04:19
Speaker
It's directed by Ron Howard, and it has the most insane cast. No, I knew nothing about this. So written and directed by Ron Howard, starring Jude Law, Anna DeArmas, Vanessa Kirby, and Sidney Sweeney.
00:04:37
Speaker
I would see all of those people naked. That's what I thought. And we have. like Hurrah! But this movie, it is based on a true story.
00:04:51
Speaker
it is for actors that maybe shouldn't be doing crazy German accents, having to do a voice for a whole movie. So maybe that's why this movie snuck out.
00:05:03
Speaker
Wait, is this ah about the that they live on an island? the I just read ah book about the real... like I literally, two weeks ago, finished reading a book about these like the real people this happened to. You're telling me there's a movie about it that is out right now and no one told me nothing?
00:05:26
Speaker
currently in theaters and no one is talking about this thing what it is such a fascinating story i liked it even before i knew that i was gonna get to see don yeah the dude in the real story walked around naked all the time he just didn't believe like hey he was like hey i live on a goddamn island i'm not wearing clothes for nobody there's literally no one here and that is the context of the nudity in this specific scene the baroness Anna de Armas is the Baroness.
00:05:57
Speaker
Oh! Sydney Sweeney is the the gal that has the baby. Okay, okay. Oh, wow. Yeah, no, she's good for that. That's a good role. Like, that's perfect.
00:06:08
Speaker
and Oh, my God! It is an intense birth. I'm not going to give any spoilers for the movie because no one... It's not a spoiler. It's a real thing that really happened. Yeah, but before you read the book yesterday, did you know about this story?
00:06:24
Speaker
Yeah. So then it's spoilers for everyone else that didn't read this book yesterday. Fair enough. Okay. ah Highly recommend. Hold on. So ah the book is called Eden Undone.
00:06:37
Speaker
And highly, highly, highly recommend. It's extremely well-researched. Every single line of dialogue in the book is taken from people's diaries that they were keeping at the time. So it's all...
00:06:49
Speaker
extremely accurate. They give multiple perspectives on all the stuff that we don't know. um and it's, it's super compelling reading.
00:07:01
Speaker
Well, I say the movie was good. That is difficult. I was watching it with a friend and we were alone. So we were kind of busting its balls a little bit. Cause I think if you aren't busting balls, you're,
00:07:15
Speaker
it might be a little slow, but when you're just like, oh man, this is for people that maybe they shouldn't have cast to do this specific accent for the runtime of the movie.
00:07:26
Speaker
Oh, you mean the thing that's also true about the movie that we just watched, Garrett? And there she is. And there she is. We made the connection. We brought it back around. oh yeah. The accents in this movie are.
00:07:42
Speaker
wow one o They're so bad. It's a delight every time someone opens their mouth. I think John Goodman is the only one who gives a passable accent. And he has like six lines in this thing.
00:07:58
Speaker
So I'm going to read you the Rotten Tomatoes critics consensus of this film.
Critical Reception and Character Analysis of 'The Big Easy'
00:08:05
Speaker
Okay, please do. Loaded with atmosphere and drenched in dazzling chemistry between Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin, the Big Easy remains one of the strongest...
00:08:18
Speaker
and steamiest thrillers of the 1980s. This film has an 89% critic score. ah Roger Ebert loved this film. Dennis Quaid won the Independent Spirit Award for Best Actor in 1986 when this film came out.
00:08:37
Speaker
kit People fucking loved this movie. It got two seasons of a television show spinoff on USA. i ah i'm I'm sorry to leave dead air here, but I'm literally aghast.
00:08:54
Speaker
i I have no... There's... What what are you talking about, Garrett? You're telling me that Mr. Cher gets some gumbo down in ah ah at the Antoine's?
00:09:12
Speaker
that That got awards. That got an award and he did win other awards. And people this steamy. They call it steamy. they It seemed like collectively everybody thought the plot sucked, but everybody thought all of these characters were so fleshed out and wonderful that this movie great.
00:09:35
Speaker
This movie, after watching it, ah one and a half times, I didn't get to the end again, i don't blame made me think of a John Waters quote. where he says, have faith in your own bad taste.
00:09:51
Speaker
Hell yes. Thank you, John Waters. make Because this movie made me feel insane when I read how much people liked it. It doesn't seem that the people on Letterboxd are the same, but when this came out, people did like it.
00:10:07
Speaker
And this is not a good movie. Plenty of, we have watched sexier, more thrilling movies. ah better made movies from this time period. It's not like the the people of cinemas were were starving for erotic thrillers at this time, and this was the best that they could get.
00:10:33
Speaker
ah don't understand. And also, look, it's Dennis Quaid. I will give him that this is probably the most handsome that he ever looked in his entire life. This was like the one year of his life where he looked sort of good.
00:10:49
Speaker
But he's still... His abs are fucking banging this movie. Like, Dennis Quaid's body in this film. body is perfect. No notes. But his face is still Dennis Quaid's face. No offense.
00:11:02
Speaker
No. You're fine looking man. He looks insanely devilish. He's not Jude Law. he He is. There's better options out there.
00:11:17
Speaker
He's not even Mickey Rourke. He is. I mean, he is. He's. handsome I mean I don't like I mean we're just judging looks now but like I his his smile in the film is like so like Jack Nicholson Joker yeah like he's he just I don't know he felt very devilish this was another one kind of like Johnny drama and perfect crime ah her where I don't Okay, on two viewings of this kid, I'm still not fully understanding.
00:11:58
Speaker
if he like so he's a bad cop I have a list of... But he's not the worst cop. yeah like he doesn't yeah Here are the things that our police officer, Remy McSwain, believes in and doesn't believe in.
00:12:16
Speaker
He believes in bribes. He believes in kickbacks. He believes in sexual harassment in the workplace. Police brutality. A good guys, bad guys dichotomy.
00:12:28
Speaker
Destroying evidence. Casual drug use. Vandalism. False arrest. And kidnapping. Things he does not believe in.
00:12:40
Speaker
Miranda writes. Internal affairs. The phrase conflict of interest. Firearm safety. Killing the developmentally disabled.
00:12:56
Speaker
Now, when you say that, I don't know what you're talking about, and you might have just been mistaking a Cajun accent. Nope. ah I am so sorry to inform you that you missed out on the the part where he said, Aw, man, now they killing retards.
00:13:15
Speaker
I would have remembered that. Yeah, I did. I guess I did miss that. I wrote it down. Because the Mafia hitman's developmentally disabled brother was also killed at the warehouse full of parade floats.
00:13:30
Speaker
And this really broke our hero's heart. So I had a hard time because you said in there he was okay with bribes. Was he So like the part where he does eventually get arrested for taking a bribe.
00:13:45
Speaker
i couldn't, I still don't know what, having watched the scene two times, I can't tell if he went there knowing that's what was going to happen. Yes, he did. No hundred percent.
00:13:58
Speaker
They said our guys having trouble with being shake. He's having trouble with shakedowns. And he goes in and that the conversation he has with the bar owners, the bar owner says a different cops in here hit me up for money every day and I can't afford it. It's running me out of business.
00:14:15
Speaker
I need to give one bribe to one guy. Every month. And that's it. And Remy's response is, yeah, I can make that happen.
00:14:27
Speaker
Don't worry about it. will talk to the other cops. He's saying, why didn't you just call me? I can take care of these guys. But when the bar owner hands him a thing of money, he says, what's this?
00:14:43
Speaker
As if he didn't know he was about to get a bribe. I don't think he knew he was about to get a bribe personally, but he knew he was discussing how bribe should work.
00:14:54
Speaker
Like the system of bribe delivery was broken and he was here to fix it. And it was only when this guy's handing him a large stack of cash, when he just said he's being run out of business and can't afford to keep paying people that Remy realizes something is wrong.
00:15:12
Speaker
And he's like, you're wearing a wire. And then obviously he this is a strip club but he throws the money in the air and eats the envelope, which is fucking hilarious.
00:15:24
Speaker
Amazing. Yet another example of how he believes in destroying evidence. Going back to where this movie starts, it is like a real, like, jaunty, like, me narrative you know, we're in the bayou, the kid, like, the Zydeco is banging.
00:15:40
Speaker
Oh, yeah. And this movie's a cartoon. We got stock footage of so of swamps. ah as we um it It was really great. As the Zydeco's going. And the Zydeco song they picked just lists a bunch of random stuff.
00:15:55
Speaker
that Like, it's in French. I only barely understood it. But every so often you'd hear, like, Creole, Grigri, Gumbo. And you're like, okay, so they picked the most Zydeco of Zydeco songs.
00:16:11
Speaker
and You can make fun of that if you want, but are songs in English really any better if you look at like a country song like Chicken Fried, where Zac Brown is just naming things people like?
00:16:24
Speaker
That's a very good point. i I take back everything that I said. ah It's just... this movie like mentally on a certain level exists within the same world as Zandalee.
00:16:41
Speaker
However, this movie he' is a straight up cartoon. Yes, which is why john John Goodman's performance is so strange.
John Goodman's Performance and Film Tone
00:16:51
Speaker
He is in a different movie than everyone else because he's actually acting instead of playing a broad Nolens caricature.
00:17:01
Speaker
And it's so weird that John Goodman, comedy legend, is the only one taking this movie seriously and acting like he's in... an erotic thriller instead of Beverly Hills Cop, but in Nolens.
00:17:17
Speaker
Keep in mind, too, this was 1986.
00:17:21
Speaker
John Goodman wasn't famous yet. It's clear he wasn't famous because they gave him almost no screen time. up For sure. I mean, at this point, like, he had been in Revenge of the Nerds as maybe the most recognizable.
00:17:35
Speaker
He had a small part in Chud, but it was right after... this movie that he started doing Coen brothers stuff. So the next year was raising Arizona. He was on the verge of his big break.
00:17:49
Speaker
And then like, you know, kicked off like probably more like looking through his career here, like arachnophobia, King Ralph, Barton Fink. And actually before all of that, like Roseanne started in 88. So it was really 88. Like we're like just on the cusp of breaking John Goodman. But you're right. Like he's a young actor who like wants to do a good job.
00:18:11
Speaker
Wants to do a good job and bless him. He's doing a fine accent, good delivery. Like he's the one who thinks he's in ah a movie about cops and not. It's funny you mentioned Beverly Hills Cop.
00:18:23
Speaker
This is the writer of Beverly Hills Cop did this. You can kind of tell, like, can you not squint your eyes and see a version of this where it is instead wisecracking Eddie Murphy style character who is like, and can you not see him turning to the DA next to him and giving that big shit eating grin and like as he's running through the red lights?
00:18:51
Speaker
Like, I can see it I'm just happy that we eventually did get Judge Reinhold and Nolens in a different one.
00:19:02
Speaker
a But when this movie opens and they're pulling up to the scene of a crime, funniest opening line of any movie is the radio saying the sentence, Hey, it's 2 a.m. m in New Orleans, the Big Easy, and we're stirring up that gumbo.
00:19:18
Speaker
Click. You're just okay, I guess I know where this movie is set. You know, is that not what happens in your town every time you turn on the radio? Every time I do, they're talking about...
00:19:30
Speaker
ah yeah How much they love and hot the bears and hot dogs. And it's 2 a.m. in the Windy City. And we are stirring up or cooking up some deep dish pizza. That's that's what everybody says all the time.
00:19:50
Speaker
But the second everybody started talking in this, i ah usually watch a movie with subtitles anyway. For some reason, I hadn't turned them on My eyes got so wide. yeah This movie requires subtitles. Yes, because they are doing outrageous accents. But for some reason, they do not talk with the cadence and pacing of Louisianans.
00:20:12
Speaker
They are talking like they are lost New Yorkers. It is fast it is snappy it is wisecrack after wisecrack piled as fast as they can talk and i'm like do you guys have you never been to the south people take their time they talk slow it's called a southern drawl not a southern uh beatbox a southern quip a southern uh chatterer You really nailed it with that. I mean, I even said, like I wrote down, almost said Judge Reinhold, but Dennis Quaid in this movie is talking sometimes with a New York accent.
Cultural Depictions and Accents in New Orleans
00:20:54
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. The accents are are, if you tried to keep track of all the accents, when his mom starts doing what sounds like a Barbados accent, I was dying. Oh my God. Yeah, his mom from from Twin Peaks.
00:21:10
Speaker
Yeah. and that's So that means he and Laura Palmer are technically siblings because they have to say mom. It's true. But yeah, like other times in this, his accent will go so insane that he seems like he runs a gator attraction roadside.
00:21:29
Speaker
And he's actually from New York, but he puts on a fake accent to its to to lure in the rubes. Everybody in this movie must be from different regions of knowledge of not just knowledge, but just Louisiana in general, because everybody's trying their fucking hardest to do a voice just like an Eden.
00:21:48
Speaker
And God bless Sydney Sweeney. Love her to death. ah She's doing that German accent. so i would They just want thrown those in. Some people aren't good at accents, you know?
00:22:01
Speaker
Hey, who's the dead meat?
00:22:06
Speaker
What Dennis Quaid says is they pull up to this German expressionist. Like German. it does Am I wrong? Wasn't there a lot of jagged angles and shit? There were a lot of jagged angles.
00:22:18
Speaker
Yeah. Cause they're trying to make it look spoopy. And there's a dead guy in a pool. Classic opening. And he's already like, first thing, two things we know about him. Name is Remy says share.
00:22:30
Speaker
right, Dennis Quaid. Let's do this thing. This early in the movie, I wrote down, these people are cartoons. I don't want to watch any of them fuck my erotic meters on the floor.
00:22:43
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's not good. ah And so it turns out the dead guy is in the mafia. He's connected.
00:22:54
Speaker
I had to look this up. There was indeed a mob presence, one mob family in New Orleans, ah and they did start getting dismantled in the 80s. So this is all perfectly well-researched, 100% legit.
00:23:12
Speaker
Don't even think about it. Don't think too hard about the fact that this movie was originally set in Chicago and was supposed to be about corrupt Chicago cops. And it was called Windy City. And then someone realized that it was cheaper to film in New Orleans.
00:23:28
Speaker
And so they just swapped all the references and ah changed it from Windy City to, apparently on Dennis Quaid's suggestion, The Big Easy. Yeah. Yeah.
00:23:41
Speaker
And all of a sudden, all of this is making a lot more sense. This would have been horrible. like I mean, it's already not like a great movie, but the fact that they're like such big cartoons did make it kind of unpredictable and fun.
00:23:58
Speaker
yeah i didn't have a terrible time watching this. I just didn't care about the plot. But if you move this to Chicago and they're just kind of just talking... That's a different movie that I have zero in interest in.
00:24:09
Speaker
Why they didn't cast anyone who can do the accent. They didn't know it was going to be in New Orleans. Okay. So our meeting of Ellen Barkin.
00:24:23
Speaker
Yeah. Is hilarious. The hot lady DA who's investigating ah police corruption. And she uses words like obsequious.
00:24:35
Speaker
That scene was hilarious. Just her her saying, like what ah what was the exact sentence she said to him? That she was asking why he was being so obsequious to a mob boss.
00:24:50
Speaker
And he said, don't know. witnessed him do a crime to this mob boss. which would him think he was under arrest. Like, this is kind of a move in the movie, is they make somebody seem they're under arrest, so they have to come with the police to come to the station. they're like, no, you're free to go anytime.
00:25:07
Speaker
um yeah yeah, that's fine. But also, he's being so nice to the to the Bob boss, hoping that he'll, you know, think that they're gonna be... not talking to him ah too seriously, and that he'll let, you know, he's hoping they'll let something slip.
00:25:24
Speaker
ah But... the The mob boss says something is there because basically the dead guy mob bosses worker for him for 20 years. They find him dead in front of his house or wherever the fuck they're at at that scene.
00:25:38
Speaker
But the mob boss doesn't care. And he didn't really like that guy. And he said a sentence that's more true in 2025 than has any respect monuments anymore. nobody has any respect for monuments any
00:25:58
Speaker
yeah because you left a dead guy in this fountain thing and that's just disrespectful i literally like it was so hard for me anytime they were talking about the plot of this movie to not full tune out Because they were giving me too much of it and it didn't matter because the story of- It obviously didn't matter. They forgot that plot for the middle third of the movie.
00:26:27
Speaker
They did something else entirely. They decided like, ah, you guys aren't excited. You're not interested in the gang war and the- ah dead mafiosos and the voodoo gang that might be stealing a guy's
Problematic Romance and Gender Roles
00:26:43
Speaker
heart out of his chest after they explode him like ah all you don't want that right well you made that sound more exciting than it was to watch Of course, ah they realized they were doing a bad job of making it interesting, and so instead decided to do something else for the entire middle third of the movie.
00:27:03
Speaker
Let's instead have it be a corrupt cop trying to get away with taking bribes. That's it. I think what this movie really is, because the i to me, the main piece of the movie is it is a corrupt cop But it's supposed to be like, I think presented as kind of a cute romance between him and the DA.
00:27:26
Speaker
who's ah yeah They're yeah trying to present to me as a goody two-shoes, but really it's just someone doing the job competently or trying to. Yes, basics of her job. And the fact they treat this woman so badly.
00:27:42
Speaker
And yes, they're expecting her to, that they're treating her like she is a prude. But that's because she's watching him take bribes and isn't charmed by it and is instead disturbed by it.
00:28:00
Speaker
I think that the real story arc to watch in 2025 is watching it from a perspective of we've already seen the Me Too movement. And as you know, Aziz Ansari and Chris Hardwick and all these comedians are getting canceled for things that weren't necessarily sexual assault.
00:28:22
Speaker
ah But I think this is one where this character looks back and is like, I was pretty forceful on those dates with Ellen Barkin. I hope she doesn't say anything.
00:28:33
Speaker
Yes. Thank God she married me. That means she's probably not mad about it, right? There's no way they're still married this many years later, by the way. And she's like, you know what? Now that I think of it, Remy...
00:28:50
Speaker
was pretty aggressive with when I was trying to say no. He fills her wine glass when they go out to the restaurant, like to the brim. And he just never lets her take no, he never lets her say no.
00:29:06
Speaker
He never lets her back out of something. And, you know, she's like trying to do her job. i need you to talk to me about this case. Well, I'll do it at dinner.
00:29:16
Speaker
Come to me for some etouffee and we'll talk about it. And it looked like a fun place to go have dinner with somebody you wanted to be there with. It did.
00:29:28
Speaker
um But seriously, the Ellen Barkin, I immediately recognized her from Ocean's 13. It's like the thing I remember her best from.
00:29:39
Speaker
And... That movie and this are all about sexually humiliating this poor woman. And I realized this a ah theme in this poor girl's career.
00:29:52
Speaker
She is constantly being sexually humiliated in movies ah where like someone is trying to seduce her in order to get something out of her and she gets embarrassed.
00:30:06
Speaker
Yeah. constantly like and we just looked through her imdb real quick and then just started just like look at a couple of them Obviously Ocean's 13.
00:30:17
Speaker
ah Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. She just plays a waitress and the guy hands her a napkin that says Backdoor Beauty with a giant question mark and she starts like getting upset and crying about it.
00:30:30
Speaker
In Buckaroo Banzai, she is like a down on her luck girl trying to kill herself in the middle of a concert. Like this poor girl. Someone decided early in this woman's career that she looks great being made fun of.
00:30:50
Speaker
The first thing that comes to mind for her for me is Drop Dead Gorgeous, where she has the beer can burnt into her hand for the whole time.
00:31:01
Speaker
ah Yeah. Very funny. Very funny. She's a great comedic actress, but nobody wants to treat this woman with any respect. And so everything about, like, she wants to stop because she's, like, she starts having sex with him, right? Like, they're getting they're getting it on. He puts her hand on, you know, between his legs.
00:31:27
Speaker
Next thing you know, he's screaming, ah! Yeah.
00:31:33
Speaker
And she's so embarrassed. And she says, so sorry, I'm not very good at this. I couldn't tell. i mean, they're both saying, ouch.
00:31:45
Speaker
And I didn't know if it's because
00:31:50
Speaker
he tried to have sex with his pants on. And her belt buckle was smashing into her bits. Or when he put her hand down there, did she just monster crap?
00:32:03
Speaker
What was happening? And also when you but she says, like, I can't do this. I'm embarrassed. I'm bad at this. can't relax. what she Was she a virgin? i That's what I thought.
00:32:15
Speaker
And she said, like, I never did have much luck with sex. Your luck's about to change, Cher. I didn't do that with enough of ah a bad New Orleans accent. Garrett, can you give me a read on that?
00:32:29
Speaker
Relax, darling. This is the big easy. folk Folks have a certain you just get did Everybody sound like they're about to eat their own tongue. and What way of doing things out here?
00:32:42
Speaker
Your luck's about to change, Cher. Hit. I didn't notice this at the first watch, but one of our listeners on that I follow on Letterboxd had seen this before and I saw their review.
00:32:56
Speaker
And when I went back, this is true. In this movie, the singular sex scene we get. Yeah. They are having sex to a Dennis Quaid song. What? What?
00:33:11
Speaker
What do you mean? Dennis Quaid makes music. I did not know this. He still like makes church music. like He puts out music. it's kit When Dennis Quaid played Reagan, everything changed up.
00:33:29
Speaker
Let me find... don't feel as bad about making fun of his looks anymore because I was feeling like I was too harsh. But knowing that they had him do a sex scene to the sound of his own music does indeed make me feel less bad.
00:33:48
Speaker
It's so funny, though. do you like That had to have been a thing where he tried to get that in there. Yeah, oh, absolutely. Absolutely. But like looking at Apple Music right now, there's only two Dennis Quaid albums. And they're 2018.
00:34:06
Speaker
But let's see. Did he have, was he just recording singles? Where are, it looks like he did other stuff for soundtracks over the years. It seems like maybe he would try and get, you know, he'd get some music in there.
00:34:23
Speaker
Dennis Quaid and the Sharks? The sharks? no No, no, This man loves gators. I counted at least six gators in his house.
00:34:34
Speaker
I started ah keeping a list. He has in his house an alligator skull, which, by the way, he put a baby doll in the mouth of this alligator skull. That's hilarious.
00:34:47
Speaker
that's An alligator? from The from cake? you No, it's huge. It's always way bigger than one from a cake. It's like an actual child's baby doll in the mouth of the skull.
00:35:01
Speaker
ah He has an alligator ah plush toy that he sleeps with that has a little squeaker in it. So it is in fact a dog toy. He has a couple of different little plastic ones.
00:35:15
Speaker
ah He has a lamp with an alligator head on it, wall art in his bathroom, and a shower curtain that are all alligator themed. And I know there are some that I missed, but yes. i mean, you said the plushie, right?
00:35:30
Speaker
I did. Because the plushie actually gets play in the movie. Oh, absolutely. Okay. To not gloss over the sex scene. Oh, let's not.
00:35:41
Speaker
Kit, you know the answer. What ties Nicolas Cage to Dennis Quaid in these two New Orleans movies from the sex scene?
00:35:52
Speaker
ah that They are experts with their digits.
00:36:00
Speaker
Yeah. Men in New Orleans know how to please a woman with their fingers.
00:36:09
Speaker
I... Folks have a certain way of doing things down here. I've noticed. Stop that. Stop what? That or that. and then she's like, oh. And then she kind of loves him the rest of the movie.
00:36:22
Speaker
like what Yeah. Magic fingers.
00:36:28
Speaker
I need to get fingered in New Orleans. Yeah, you do. You I think I have... done it in new orleans i have absolutely done it in new orleans myself i have not but did you get a man with an outrageous accent to do it no that's the problem
00:36:50
Speaker
what did we think of the one i mean it's not i think this movie the at the cover of the movie and everything make it seem like it's going to be sexier than a taut sexy thriller where he's a corrupt cop and she's an uptight DA trying to bring him down but their sexual chemistry is so off the charts that they just can't help but be pulled towards one another That is not what the movie is about. Do not get fooled, dear listener.
00:37:27
Speaker
Do you think they had good chemistry? Because all of the good reviews seem to like really love the chemistry between these two. They seem like they were having a lot of fun together on set, and I'm sure that they got along great.
00:37:43
Speaker
Does that mean they had sexual chemistry? No. I think they have perfectly good, like, on-screen vibes.
00:37:56
Speaker
They vibe together okay, but there is no spark for me. Why, do you disagree? No, I agree with you entirely. That's why reading everything afterwards, I felt like, you know, i sometimes you can watch a movie in the wrong mood and then you end up not liking it. like You got kind of be in the right headspace for the movie you're about to watch. And I think this was way goofier than I was expecting.
00:38:22
Speaker
Yes. Less sexy than I was expecting. Yes. Less of a movie. I mean, it is a movie. Yeah. i don't I don't know. Just reading all the good reviews made me think, like did I watch this wrong? They solve the crime almost entirely because the bad guys keep killing people who don't need to be killed in order to cover up their crimes.
00:38:49
Speaker
Because at multiple points, the cops are just like, eh, gang war. Not much we can do about it. And they're ready to let it go. And then the corrupt cops who are secretly behind this whole scheme, big, huge spoiler alert right there. It's so obvious.
00:39:07
Speaker
ah ah Keep killing people. And then it's like, huh, I guess we have to investigate this because there's like seven dead bodies now.
00:39:19
Speaker
Hey, they may be killing, but that doesn't mean they're having fun to be had at this goofy police station, Kit. So true. We have fun here at work. We know that Remy is in love with the DA and we're all making goofy faces in the window. We're stealing guys' toupees.
00:39:38
Speaker
We're jokingly pulling a gun on coworkers. That's why I said firearm safety is not a thing Remy believes in. That's one of those moments where it was almost certainly like, it's okay, the safety was on. And then they like look at it and you see them click the safety on.
00:39:56
Speaker
Also, I love that he's having this like, he's like, he's got to shut the door. Wait, this guy's trying to like get into the office and overhears conversation because he's on the phone with the sexy DA. And like, then they cut to a wide shot and there's no ceiling.
00:40:11
Speaker
Like his office is partitioned, but it's open at the top. You can absolutely hear everything that is happening on that phone call. Wait, is it open at the top because it was bad cinematography and we're on a set?
00:40:24
Speaker
It could be or it could be that it's just like this is a ah the type of building where there's no way ah Like, we need that cross breeze in this Louisiana heat.
00:40:37
Speaker
And, you know, nobody gets any real privacy here because we need everything to be open enough to let some air through. is it that or is it more of...
00:40:49
Speaker
we've got a roommate living in the living room and we need it to seem like a room. So we put a curtain up. I mean, that would better. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what they, what they've got. So we, we discussed that he does get arrested in this movie and eats envelope, which is very funny. Yeah.
00:41:07
Speaker
So he gets out. And even say like, hey don't worry about your lawyer. We're going to pay for it with from the Widows and Orphans Fund, which is clearly the the bribe money pool. And I'm like, do you not have a police union in New Orleans?
00:41:26
Speaker
Because that's who covers your lawyer. who
00:41:34
Speaker
Why do you gotta use your bribe money to pay for the sleazy lawyer who, by the way, also represents Daddy Mention, the ah voodoo a gang leader?
00:41:48
Speaker
you need that guy. You don't have a police lawyer? you don't have a- you don't have The union union's not gonna take care of you. Don't worry, we got your back. Thin blue line. We'll use the bribe money to get you a lawyer.
00:42:02
Speaker
That's so funny that the only reason these cops are selling heroin is to pay for lawyers for the other bad stuff they're eventually going to do. Like, this is planning ahead because obviously unions didn't start until 1987. Obviously.
00:42:22
Speaker
It was rough out there for cops. You had to sell heroin to pay for your petty crimes. Absolutely. It's tough out there. The craziest scene in this movie.
00:42:33
Speaker
That's a big thing to say. Okay. He's on tape. Yes. Doing the crime at the the strip club, like taking the money and whatever.
00:42:44
Speaker
Taking the money, openly talking about, yes, of course you pay bribes to the police department, but these cops are going too far and I'll take care of them for you. Yeah.
00:42:56
Speaker
So the tapes are in evidence. Yeah. And he has to get this machine. It's like essentially a magnet, right? That's going to yeah scramble any film.
00:43:07
Speaker
And he needs to get that magnet to put. This is so good. This is about such a great plan. It's an incredible plan. And yes, of course, by the way, the, the, the prosecuting DA is his girlfriend, but,
00:43:21
Speaker
we're not listen conflict of interest is not a real thing um and so is it though because on ellen barkin's note at the beginning of the movie uh we see as she calls him after their first date ah list of four things angelo case one two professionalism three last night four conflict of interest question mark conflict of interest question mark I'm so glad she had that written down because otherwise she would have gotten distracted by his sexy accent and she wouldn't have been able to think straight and remember those four things she needed to talk to him about.
00:44:02
Speaker
Five, five star fingering heart. Oh, um ah So he puts on the worst disguise I've ever seen. Curly wig, mustache, ah hat and sunglasses, a weird effeminate gait to walk in, and a dumb voice, and a bright lime green sweater.
00:44:29
Speaker
Layers to this character that created. Layers! And he's, uh, goes to to get himself a magnet ah that he then throws through a shop window.
00:44:40
Speaker
So that's where I got vandalism on the list of things he believes in. Um, so that it will then get entered into evidence as being part of a crime. He does not, by the way, wear gloves during this scene. His fingerprints are all over that goddamn magnet, you moron. Um,
00:44:57
Speaker
um And then ah because it will be put in the evidence room, he can then move it in the evidence room to next two the tapes that are going to be used at trial.
00:45:11
Speaker
Why those are still in the police lockup and not in the possession of literally anyone else, of the DA, a of ah why it's in his police lockup.
00:45:26
Speaker
It doesn't matter. He even touches it again in the evidence room again without gloves to move it.
00:45:35
Speaker
We got to go back to this disguise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got it. You got to break this guy down because now something makes more sense. Now that you say it was Chicago originally, this he's literally dressed like one of the bears guys. Like he looks like a Polish Chicago guy.
00:45:53
Speaker
The only difference is that the sweater is lime green instead of blue and orange.
00:46:00
Speaker
But he's doing an accent and this is where it gets complicated in the sense of like face off where now John Travolta is having to act like he thinks Nicolas Cage would have done this scene.
00:46:16
Speaker
He is doing an accent that sounds like. hmm. I would say if a Cajun guy had to do a racist Mexican accent, but he looks like an Italian guy. He's walking kind of effeminate.
00:46:33
Speaker
So, so this guy, when he has to describe it to the police, like, I don't know this gay Mexican Italian guy came in. I, he's like, I really had a hard time like putting, putting my finger on what was going on with this guy.
00:46:49
Speaker
I just knew we needed a big old magnet. yeah Listen, I sell magnets. Just don't wear a watch ah with quartz. Otherwise, it'll fuck up you it'll fuck up your watch.
00:47:02
Speaker
And I loved Quaid's response, which is, because the guy's like, you're not wearing a watch, are you? Because it'll mess it up. And he's like, i ain't got time worry about the time. He's in character.
00:47:14
Speaker
He's in character. like this character He's done a lot of undercover work, Garrett. He knows how to inhabit the mind of the person he is portraying.
00:47:27
Speaker
i think this is a good segue into this conversation. Is Dennis Quaid an idiot in this movie or is he smart? ah He is smart because that is like the getting the the ah thing in evidence was super clever.
00:47:43
Speaker
That was clever. However, he is a corrupt cop who seems to be offended and not understand why the entire city doesn't like the police force. Yes.
00:47:58
Speaker
oh Here's the thing. I think he's he's clever, but he's not wise. Right? Like, he doesn't have... he He can read people and sort of tell if someone's lying to him, but he doesn't have any self-reflection whatsoever.
00:48:18
Speaker
And he certainly doesn't have some, like, there are some big gaps in his ah knowledge and understanding. But overall, he has ah kind of low cleverness to him.
00:48:33
Speaker
In the way that a lot of criminals And he does look at the police force as if it's his family business. Yes. And not... ah an entity that's there to serve and protect.
00:48:47
Speaker
When he had just seen two cops in an unmarked cop car try to run him over, the next thing he's talking about is like, what do i do These people are my family.
00:49:01
Speaker
Well, when your family tries to run you over, may we maybe maybe they're not good family. Maybe this is a bad family. Maybe you need to leave this family.
00:49:13
Speaker
It takes him too long to realize that. Yeah. And I don't even know if by the end he has realized that. No. as he's fighting his future stepdad a heroin boat.
00:49:26
Speaker
Yeah. So the captain of the police force is ah this fat fuck named Jack who is dating his mom. Ned Beatty, the actor.
00:49:37
Speaker
Yeah, and he's dating ah Dennis Quaid, Remy's mom, and ah she won't marry him unless he's retired from the police force because she's been married to a cop before, you know, Remy's dad, and she she doesn't want to live that life.
00:49:55
Speaker
And so he's close. He's like, days from retirement. Yeah. At this point. So close. And he wants to go out with a bang.
00:50:06
Speaker
And that bang is about 30 kilos of heroin.
00:50:15
Speaker
He doesn't look like When he gets found out. And they're having the conversation. He scampers away in the funniest way where... Holy shit. I cannot express to you People, you have to watch this movie if only to see this one shot of when ah you know he's arguing with his future stepson and pulls a gun on him.
00:50:42
Speaker
And then at that exact moment, his girlfriend, the... you know, Remy's mom, Laura Palmer's mom mom comes out and she's like, Hey, what's going on?
00:50:54
Speaker
And sees that like her boyfriend has a gun pointed at her son. And his response is just to like,
00:51:05
Speaker
and then it cuts to a wide shot. And there's nothing funnier than a wide shot of someone running away. But when it is fat cop, tears rolling down my cheeks rolled we rewound and watched that shot five times it's glorious watching this man try his darndest to run away it's and it's incredible it's You know when you run, your legs usually go front to back.
00:51:36
Speaker
This man runs legs side to side. like a crab, but somehow moving forward instead of to the side. Who knows how his body works. Like a gingerbread man running. You're absolutely right. Like...
00:51:55
Speaker
Kit, when he pulled the gun out, my first thought is, oh man, he's going to commit suicide in front of his his future bride because he got caught. But no, Homeboy runs away. And like you're right.
00:52:08
Speaker
That cut to that wide shot. And it's a long take. They get us the whole way to the car. it is God bless this director. So much better. It's so good. And here's the thing. If anyone had wanted to run after him and tackle him, they absolutely could have. They simply chose not to.
00:52:29
Speaker
So he could have walked. No one was coming after him.
00:52:35
Speaker
The only other edit in this movie that made me laugh that hard, the cut from gun out to like, maybe he's going to kill himself to wide shot running is the final shot of this film where these are two leads jump out of an exploding boat. Oh my God. Slow motion.
00:52:55
Speaker
And it goes to black in a way that you're like, okay, I guess this the it's over. And then it just pops back up with credits rolling and we are post-wedding.
00:53:07
Speaker
Yeah! They got married! I laughed so hard. That is the funniest end to any of these movies we've watched. It's extremely good.
00:53:19
Speaker
There is no reason to think they were together at the end of this. No. Well, he renounced his life of crime, and and ah so he had been redeemed. He realized that he you know he had become one of the bad guys.
00:53:35
Speaker
And that's the wild thing, is this movie is not interested in taking down his like stark delineation. There are good guys and there are bad guys. and these you know We're on the police, so we're the good guys.
00:53:48
Speaker
eight it does not, it's not, and the movie's not interested in dismantling that. It's just like, if you take bribes, you are actually a bad guy. There's no nuance here of like, sometimes these people, have you looked at like where they live? Of course they're selling drugs to make ends meet. No, no, we're not, we're not looking at any nuance here.
00:54:06
Speaker
ah It's, it's simply that ah taking bribes ah is corrosive to the system and you are not good guys anymore.
00:54:18
Speaker
That's it. There you go. But there's so much more to discuss. So there, listen, we got to go back to the trial for a moment because there is a part where they are interviewing the guy who, uh, had been asked for the bribe right there. They're there. They've got him up on the stand.
00:54:38
Speaker
Yeah. Uh, the fat strip club owner who, ah you know, there, the, The defense attorney's like, have you ever been arrested for a crime? And she stands up and talks about how, you know, we need ah acknowledge that he is also has a criminal record.
00:54:59
Speaker
Clergymen and bankers are rarely ah witnesses ah to crimes. And I'm like, Do you think bankers are above reproach? Clearly, ah banker would never commit a crime, much like a priest or a school... Not school teacher!
00:55:19
Speaker
Like, or... ah Right? Like... what Bankers! Clergymen and bankers are above reproach, and this man is clearly neither. And ah the defense attorney says, Is it true that you would say anything the prosecution wanted you to in order to avoid being sent to prison?
00:55:40
Speaker
And the the man on the stand says, Yeah! ah but I mean... No! but i bet but but but butp but but but but but no ah genuinely hilarious loved it gets off because the the the uh only real evidence they had was the tape and he put a magnet there and uh so it's ruined because this is the oldie times that's on magnetic tape it erases the footage and he's throwing a party
00:56:12
Speaker
Garrett, you like to please... The Zydeco family band ah is at the party. How would you like to suspect that he invites the a woman who was prosecuting him to his I'm not going to jail because I destroyed evidence party?
00:56:31
Speaker
Garrett, how would you extend such an invitation? Well, the same way I would get a mafia don down to my police station. They can think he's under arrest. She's out for a jog looking great, I mind you. Absolutely.
00:56:44
Speaker
This is the best anyone looks in this entire movie other than when Dennis Quaid is just like lying shirtless on his couch in an actually pretty cute moment in that scene between them like wanting to fucking not.
00:56:56
Speaker
But she's looking good. She gets picked up and brought to a cop party where everyone hates her. Yes. Do you think the best way so to have sex with this woman is to pick her up while she's covered in tit sweat and bring her to your family's crawfish boil?
00:57:19
Speaker
Yeah, our crawfish boil slash we hate the DA a party. And she's now just suddenly at a party she doesn't want to be at covered in sweat while everyone's dressed Very nicely for a party, at least. and And by the way, she has no way of leaving because you brought her here in a cop car.
00:57:39
Speaker
ah So she has to call like a cab to get out of here, which gives him plenty of time to play guitar and sing very badly to sort of serenade her in front of a bunch of cops up to further humiliate her and then peer pressure her into dancing with him at which... Again.
00:58:00
Speaker
Again. And then she's like, you know what? You're not one of the good guys anymore. going to really have to think about that. The guy who force fingered you it like two days ago.
00:58:13
Speaker
She liked it. So it's okay. That's how that works. To be fair, she sexually assaulted his brother later. ah Yeah, she does, after they had sex the first time, wake up the next morning and see what she thinks is Dennis Quaid, bent over, shirtless, in tight jeans, ah looking in the fridge. She grabs his ass and, oh no, that's not Dennis Quaid.
00:58:38
Speaker
That's his brother. Not ass, Kit. Not ass. You're right. she did she She sticks her hand a deep, deep in there. It makes me think that he had right to yelp in that first scene because she goes in like wrapped up in a sheet and gets a tight grip of this man's taint.
00:58:58
Speaker
Like it is a it is a forceful squeeze where that guy also had right to be horrified because he doesn't know she's there. Best case scenario in his mind, his brother is gripping his taint while he's looking for milk.
00:59:12
Speaker
That's just how brothers are, Garrett. You wouldn't know because you didn't. I grew with sister. Yeah, you had a sister. But that's what it's like when it's brothers. They just grab each other's taints as prank. was a cute little prank.
00:59:26
Speaker
It was a cute little prank. um And yeah, it's extremely funny. um And also yet another way in which we love to sexually humiliate this woman and make her embarrassed ah because she is ah very, very upset that she has grabbed the taint of a man she's never seen before.
00:59:50
Speaker
Why'd she grab it so hard? Like it makes me wonder. She said she's bad at this. She up front before they even had sex said,
01:00:01
Speaker
I'm bad at this. I'm sorry. I like all cards are on the table. I'm very attractive, but super bad at sex. I have like no experience and I apparently accidentally hurt people and I don't know what to do with my hands. You know how it is when you're like you're on camera and you don't know what to do with your hands.
01:00:23
Speaker
Well, she doesn't know what to do with her hands in bed. That makes me think that she read a Cosmo article one time there was like, hey, did you know there's a come button somewhere in the asshole?
01:00:35
Speaker
Yeah. So it's like, that's her missionary position. Every, every man she's ever brought home, like the finger goes straight up there and she doesn't know where the button is. So she's just poking around. There's no lube. It's going and dry going in And she's just like, is this not, listen, I don't, I don't know.
01:00:59
Speaker
And then there's just just like her neighbors see a parade of men night after night crying on the stoop of her. Waiting for the cab. Waiting for the cab.
01:01:10
Speaker
yeah I'm so bad at this. I'm so bad at this. I'm sorry. oh
01:01:18
Speaker
She doesn't have any girlfriends to have a sex in the city conversation with. where yes but i Never before has a woman needed ah sex in the city gaggle of gal pals in her life more because someone needs to tell her what to do.
01:01:34
Speaker
She is so in the weeds here, man. You know what? Now maybe I'm starting to think like she is a, like she's more prudish than Charlotte. Yes.
01:01:45
Speaker
Much more.
01:01:52
Speaker
ah Sorry for the tangent about ah about Ellen Barkin trying to find Dennis Quaid's come button.
01:02:04
Speaker
uh yeah so like more stuff happens with this thing they're like it's a drug war and then ah Dennis Quaid's like i don't know it seems weird I don't think the eye Italians and the voodoo guys are going to war it doesn't make sense and then they go and they meet Daddy Minchin the voodoo man Who I loved. The person that's worth even mentioning in this movie, because as you're telling me the plot of this, I'm just like, don't to. sounds so interesting.
01:02:32
Speaker
That's the thing. It's like they had what could have been so cool. You've got a voodoo gang and the Italian mob maybe going into a gang turf war And like, ooh, like the guy's heart got taken out. And like, I cannot express to you how interesting this sounds and how boring it actually is ah ah The voodoo gang man gets shot at his own house party, surrounded by his ah loved ones, his his children and grandchildren. Yes, 21 children and like 14 grandchildren. Yes, and a brass band outside his house.
01:03:12
Speaker
I don't even know if it was for a reason or if that's just how his daily life is, that he has a full marching band having a party outside his house 24-7. What?
01:03:25
Speaker
what Yeah, I liked him. He's he's a a portly, nice black man who essentially had a lot of sex.
01:03:37
Speaker
Beautiful suit and basically had a lot of sex because he reads the Bible is his explanation. Well, he read the part about be fruitful and multiply and then didn't read any further.
01:03:49
Speaker
But when he is shot and killed off camera and Dennis Quaid explodes through the window without Ellen Barkin, even knowing he was out there to begin with, yeah makes me think this movie does have several action scenes.
01:04:04
Speaker
We've not discussed the quality of said action. Oh, man, this one's pretty good. So, he like, ah the car ah takes off after shooting Dead Dimension.
01:04:16
Speaker
So he chases after the car and the car backs up to then like chase him down and try to run him down while going in reverse down the alley. And it is so obvious that they just reversed the footage of the car going forwards around the corner to show it backing up to go back.
01:04:39
Speaker
And I'm like, you couldn't even be bothered to get a stunt driver to actually like do a cool, quick reverse around the corner to start chasing him down. No.
01:04:50
Speaker
Listen, we're on a tight schedule here. We'll just run it in reverse.
01:04:57
Speaker
Hey, you know that's just ah you know saving money. Saving money. It's resourceful. It's resourceful. And ah he recognizes after this attempt on his life that it was an unmarked cop car and oh no, there's cops involved in this.
01:05:15
Speaker
And it is the... His response to this is the stupidest and funniest thing ever. He like... backs ellen barking up against a wall and is like what do you know why are you really here and she's like well we had we had evidence from the beginning that cops were involved in these murders in the in the murder of the the italian mafia guy and he literally says why did you withhold this from the police and you want to know why i think he might be dumb
01:05:46
Speaker
Yeah. like He says things like that. Where, sir, you might have been. Sir, but why did you withhold the information that police might be involved from the police?
01:06:00
Speaker
Then we could have covered it up faster before any time that someone mentions that, like, hey, we think the cops might be involved in this. Like, at the shooting of a bunch of Daddy Mentions guys, ah all there are all these ah neighborhood people out ah protesting saying that um there's a rumor going around that the police were involved because it's two white guys in a black neighborhood who came in and shot these dudes, and it looked like an unmarked police car.
01:06:28
Speaker
ah And he's like, cops wouldn't do this. And she's like, how do you know? And he says, well, because if it was cops that did it, they would have planted evidence. stuck around and pretended the whole thing was justified and gotten away with it you know the way you're supposed to he just turns his shoe in the ground looking down like oh my god Maybe I shouldn't have said that.
01:06:56
Speaker
No, but obviously that means cops couldn't have been cops. Like anytime there are so many times where people are like, I think cops might have been involved. And he's like, nah, we wouldn't do that. We take bribes and we shake people down and we do police brutality and we don't Mirandize suspects and we don't let people talk to their lawyers, but we don't.
01:07:17
Speaker
My stepdaddy ain't selling heroin! My stepdaddy! We don't sell drugs! That's another thing that we can add to the list of things Remy doesn't believe in. He believes that you can smoke marijuana, but you should not sell heroin.
01:07:32
Speaker
That's wrong. Well...
01:07:37
Speaker
And you can kill a guy, but you should stick around and cover it up properly by pretending it was a justified, you know, killed in the line of duty type of deal. You know, like, I pulled a gun on me. See, I have this this unregistered firearm that's right there in his hand.
01:07:58
Speaker
How did that get there? That's the way cops should do this. Make it a fake gang war. That's wrong. crimes by the book. Do your crimes by the book. Anyway. favorite action scene in this was actually the first action scene after their bad date.
01:08:16
Speaker
Mm-hmm. And she see's an old woman getting mugged. Oh, yeah. and she tries to hop in and and help. And then the muggers pull a knife. Yeah.
01:08:27
Speaker
obviously Dennis Quaid still following her in his car hits one of the muggers with his car. Yep. And the second guy does, he does a Roman reign Superman punch from the driver's seat of his car.
01:08:41
Speaker
And that's awesome. That was actually a really, that's my favorite fight. And later we even see a boat explode. That was better than that. That was that set it up to where I'm Oh, it's only uphill from here. I think this is going to be a good movie. Yeah.
01:08:55
Speaker
but I was wrong. It also has him doing the very cheeky thing where he's like, I'm going to leave you handcuffed here to my car while I go talk to this lady. If you fuck up my car, the police are going to beat the shit out of you.
01:09:08
Speaker
And then he says, oh like, because he realizes Ellen Barkins over there, he's like, do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you? And then the man's like, yes, sir. Yes, I do.
01:09:21
Speaker
Because that's hilarious when you threaten police brutality and pretend that it is his Miranda rights.
01:09:32
Speaker
And then that old lady's like, so thank goodness the cops were here to stop these. And he's like, now just stay there and ah the cops will come get a statement. she's like, Fuck that!
01:09:42
Speaker
I'm not fucking the police! Fuck the police! she had had her, she had just cast her paycheck and that was in her purse and she knew she talked to the police. They were gonna demand half that paycheck as payment. Gotta go to the Orphan's Fund. Yeah, it's for the Orphan's Fund.
01:09:58
Speaker
there even anything else to... Well, he realizes that there's no gang war, right? And ah she's like, all right, what we got to do now is get some search warrants. They're still using local cops to execute the search warrants against the cops.
01:10:14
Speaker
It is insane. They do not bring in any outsiders whatsoever. He's just like, no, I'm pretty sure that the captain of the police force is a pretty good guy to help out with this.
01:10:25
Speaker
It's fine. Yeah. ah And then, you know, they stay up all night together looking at files and he convinces her to stay. This is man the only cute scene in this movie.
01:10:39
Speaker
Yeah, they're very cute together. um And she she's like, i'm not going to sleep with you, though. and he's like, well, if I can't have you, can I have my gator? And she throws the little stuffed plushy gator at him.
01:10:53
Speaker
Where is in my notes is his exact quote. He says something pretty gross to her. He's like, oh, sleep on to bed. i won't try no cha-cha. I promise.
01:11:06
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I mean, if the man promises he won't try the cha-cha, Gary, you got to believe that. That's a solemn vow right there. folks as we talk about this movie i think it's easy to forget that every line of dialogue is presented by somebody who could feasibly be in the movie the water boy um
01:11:29
Speaker
yeah um So in the morning, ah he sees her walking around and in her, you know, she's wearing just the police shirt that she slept in.
01:11:41
Speaker
such an uncomfortable shirt to sleep in. know. Did he not offer her another shirt? Whatever. A t-shirt. Yeah. Point bro's like, hey, what's for breakfast? And he's like, you go get brekkie, put on my raincoat, and you're gonna, you obviously have to get sent out to die, because I need- Go eat some bullets.
01:12:04
Speaker
Go eat some bullets. yeah This lady and I need to fuck. And it is a very cute moment when he sees that the door to the bedroom is closed, but the shirt is on the doorknob.
01:12:16
Speaker
And he has this like, ooh la la look on his face, opens it, and then is suddenly crestfallen when he realizes she has just changed into a like normal clothing. Well, I just meant I wasn't going to try no cha-cha last night. I'm going to try to cha-cha now.
01:12:35
Speaker
I didn't say anything about this morning. I'm trying. desperately want to be able to do a New Orleans accent, but I can't eat my tongue. Well, he can't do one either, Garrett. So you're in good company.
01:12:50
Speaker
He's trying to seduce her by doing a little dance. It is the worst thing I've ever seen. It's like kind of Macarena, kind of like, like cha-cha. It's very bad. Not sexy the gay little dance at the end of Zandalee. Not even close.
01:13:06
Speaker
And right as he's about to to seal the deal, they hear gunshots. And who's on the ground out there but...
01:13:17
Speaker
Bobby. And this was another one that we had to rewind several times because it was so funny. And it is him when he realizes it is his brother on the ground bleeding out.
01:13:29
Speaker
Bobby! Bobby! Not to go to another um Adam Sandler movie, but in Happy Gilmore, when he gets hit by the car and Julie Bowen
01:13:46
Speaker
a Similar vibe. Extremely funny. It cracked me up. He's just like he's trying so hard to keep the accent while ah screaming his brother's name in agony.
01:14:04
Speaker
It's it's so good. It's so good. So, so bro goes to the hospital and he has a sad conversation with future stepdad where they're sitting on a swing set outside the hospital to have this sad conversation about like stealing heroin. Okay. Jack is murder. Okay.
01:14:29
Speaker
Where he tells him he's put all of it together. And that is when, you know, your brother's not going to die. Yeah. Oh, you've got a gun pulled.
01:14:42
Speaker
Punches his stepdad in the face. He scampers away. freak it like actually You know what? Pillsbury Doughboy might have been a ah more accurate run. really good. It's it's ah truly magnificent.
01:14:56
Speaker
Did we just like jump to this ending on the boat where John Goodman and the other guy, which earlier in the movie, when the cops are all getting interrogated and they pat down John Goodman. And he's got like funny scene that he he's, it is like, it is a comedy where he just keeps pulling different weapons off of his person and until he pulls out a little prostitute gun. And the, is the the the cherry on top. And he goes, and if that one doesn't work, I'll piss on him.
01:15:26
Speaker
Which, by the way, is in the same movie as as getting Remy's big emotional speech about all the rationalizations he's done to make it seem okay that what he was doing was does he deserved those those bribes and it wasn't hurting anybody and ah now he realizes that he's been part of a corrupt system that that is eroding people's trust in and and eroding the moral character of all of the police, those who are sworn to serve and protect, and and she kisses him, because you gotta give god he's like a little pat on the head, you gotta reward him for realizing that he shouldn't take bribes as a cop. You gotta give him his little mwah, so he knows he did good.
01:16:16
Speaker
And that is in the same movie as the the the the prostitute gun. And the him dressing as a Mexican-Italian guy to go buy a magnet.
01:16:29
Speaker
A gay Mexican-Italian guy in a neon green sweatshirt to buy a big magnet. It... I mean, theyre the the bit at the end where they're on the boat and fighting John Goodman, the other They go crime boat where all the heroin is stashed.
01:16:49
Speaker
It's so nothing. They're just like trying to wrap the movie up in such a fast way. they are really dying to to get through there. And there's a great bit where Remy throws what must be like $400 worth of heroin in John Goodman's face so that he can then jump into the water while John Goodman is momentarily distracted.
01:17:12
Speaker
There's, like, people shooting flare guns. ah The Cap gets to shoot John Goodman because John Goodman and Toupet Guy shot the Captain because they wanted to take their stairs and run.
01:17:25
Speaker
And the Captain, I guess, still thought they could get away with it if they just dumped all the heroin in the lake, which is a terrible idea. it doesn't... Listen...
01:17:38
Speaker
Quaid uses an ice bucket for a helmet during this shootout. Like, it's ridiculous. All of it. And finally, he shoots the last bad guy with a flare gun. He falls into the river. He's being like lit from the body is lit from below with the flare gun underneath or the flare underneath.
01:18:02
Speaker
And then his toupee floats up and bobs on the surface in a dramatic. What causes the kaboom? I don't even remember.
01:18:12
Speaker
I guess there's a fire on the boat from the flare gun that got shot before and and missed a bad guy. And then, I don't know, like maybe heroin's very explosive.
01:18:27
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know. that Listen, we needed a terrible slow-mo 80s explosion jumping shot. I do love that. I love a ah good jump from an explosion in slow-mo.
01:18:41
Speaker
I just wasn't expecting it from this movie. No. That was not erotic or thrilling or good. Mm-mm. wouldn't ruin my life.
01:18:52
Speaker
Sorry to cut. ah Sorry to yeah way did i just skip the whole process there. There you watch one movie about police corruption and suddenly you think the rules don't apply to you anymore. Huh? Is that what this is?
01:19:05
Speaker
Well, I'm just, I, I wasn't breaking the, you you can break the rules a little, but you got, it's gotta to be for a good, good cause. And my family. Yeah. Yeah.
01:19:17
Speaker
If they paid me more, I definitely wouldn't take bribes. That's how that works.
01:19:23
Speaker
All right, Kit, we getting fingered in Nolens? What's happening? Let's find out. Garrett, o were you aroused? Scale one to five. to five.
01:19:35
Speaker
Point five? You did get to see butts. You got to see both butts.
01:19:42
Speaker
ah That's true. We did see her as Laina. I couldn't tell. There may have been some some upper nudity from her. and I couldn't. but It was kind of shadowed. i don't know. You're right. It was not a well-lit scene. It's not sex...
01:19:59
Speaker
She looked good while she was jogging in that Nolens heat. Uh, but no, it's 0.5. This movie was not sexy, but I might raise it to point. I might raise it to one, ah full one because Dennis Quaid fucked ah himself singing.
01:20:14
Speaker
Here's the and thing is all of the times they humiliate this poor woman. um are so cringe inducing to me that like it in many ways got negative points because every time this woman gets sexually humiliated, my arousal, uh, like if my, if my panties had been like starting to to get wet, like it sucks it up back inside me. And it is the Sahara desert down there because
01:20:49
Speaker
it is so like the secondhand embarrassment is so real in this movie and i just i can't find it sexy that this poor woman is getting treated like an idiot all the time like ha ha ha she's bad at sex she doesn't know how it works she puts her fingers where they shouldn't go and she's grabbing the wrong guys uh dick and everybody's saying shit about her like i can't it was so embarrassing and I she's a very fine actor it's and it is purely the script like she's doing a fine job of acting but the movie is written in such a way as to make this as unsexy as possible I will actually give this one negative 0.5
01:21:44
Speaker
because i can't argue folks she had to give it negative 0.5 because it i mean you heard what it did to her downstairs you heard that sounds like a medical condition it was possible bad for your sexual health yeah yeah a watch with caution It created some sort of vacuum situation down there that the human body is not supposed to be capable of. Not supposed to do, but this movie will do it.
01:22:16
Speaker
And that's having, like, we got some points in in the correct direction from the butts, but over overall, negative. Gotta go negative.
01:22:29
Speaker
no now my one is wildly high and I knew that I knew that given it it was kind of a goof given the Dennis Quaid fucking to his own song but no this movie was not not sexy no yeah I mean any movie that has an alligator shower curtain in it is just not gonna be that sexy um was Traces of Red the Belushi one was that a New Orleans one too where were we in that that feels like it was a south definitely down south We're in Florida, maybe?
01:22:59
Speaker
I think it was. Okay. It doesn't matter. It's hot. It doesn't matter. All right. Were you thrilled, Garrett?
01:23:10
Speaker
Scale of one to five. Other than early on when he punched that guy from his front seat of his car. and No. Like, no one felt like they were in danger. This isn't an erotic thriller in that, like, one of the leads is in danger because of their their love for each other.
01:23:30
Speaker
Maybe she could get killed because... the cop actually she probably should have been she should have been in more danger it should have been a thing where it's like they might get caught that the DA is having sex with the corrupt cop she is currently prosecuting Like that, there are so many ways in which this movie is set up that it could be thrilling. You have that aspect of like their professional lives and his liberty are in danger here, right?
01:24:05
Speaker
Or there's the gang war and people being killed over heroin and someone's heart got taken out in a moment that was just barely mentioned. There are so many things that could have been thrilling that the movie was like,
01:24:20
Speaker
ah You don't want that. Right? You don't want that. want more quippy dialogue, right? yeah That's what you want. I mean, in bad accents?
01:24:33
Speaker
We got them.
01:24:36
Speaker
i Would you like some Zydeco? the I did like the Zydeco. The music was very nice. And I guess it turned out David Byrne chose the music for this movie and helped find musicians for the movie and was not credited as doing such.
01:24:49
Speaker
I'm going to use a sentence that I don't love. Oh God. To score this movie. Okay.
01:24:57
Speaker
But how you felt about the sexuality in this movie.
01:25:02
Speaker
The plot of this film created a vacuum effect and dried up my thrills pussy. Oh no.
01:25:33
Speaker
my thrills pussy yeah it is everyone has one of those that is not gender neutral that is that i mean yeah that is gender neutral everybody's got it you know it was dried every time that we got to anything involving action or the plot of this film i was so wildly checked out um I wanted it to go away. Nobody was in danger.
01:26:00
Speaker
i loved the punch from the front seat of the car. and yeah But to me, that's the same as we saw two butts. Like it
01:26:10
Speaker
like if we, if maybe if he punched somebody from the car to a Dennis Quaid and the sharks rock song, we'd change this score. But that is a negative 0.5.
01:26:23
Speaker
i'm du I'm following your lead on that one. I've got i've got to even out these scores. I love it. um You know what, Garrett? I'll say that I was a little less checked out than you, so I'll give it 0.5 and you can give it negative 0.5.
01:26:39
Speaker
Because I like seeing ah just how many New Orleans references they can shove into 100 minutes of movie. And that's fun all by itself.
01:26:51
Speaker
That's thrilling. Yeah. Actually, the the New reference is getting... You know what? They never mentioned beignets. And they never mentioned... like I feel like they could have been like when she was like, oh, so you think taking bribes is okay? You could just get a free meal because you're a cop? And you could be like, it's called a lagniappe.
01:27:11
Speaker
it's It's like a real New Orleans thing of throwing in a little extra, a little little nice thing. no, they didn't use that reference. You're though. The amount of New Orleans that they shoved down my throat might have been the sexiest thing that happened. Hell yeah, baby.
01:27:27
Speaker
It's not consensual, but you loved it. yeah By the end, I was like, I guess I'll marry this movie. You'll marry the movie. Would you ruin your life for Remy McSwain? Remy McSwain. If there was ever a more obvious sign that this was originally ah movie set in Chicago is the fact that his name is McSwain.
01:27:53
Speaker
I'm not joking. So I didn't mention this because it's a little embarrassing, but I'll go ahead and say. i remembered his name was Remy. In the entire movie, my brain was thinking that his name was ah Remy LaCroix.
01:28:06
Speaker
yeah And i was like, why do I know that? Is that not and his name? And it wasn't his name. So I had to Google Remy LaCroix. And that is an adult film actress.
01:28:19
Speaker
Garrett. I don't remember her work, but that is a name you don't forget. So I guess my brain cataloged that away. So I don't know. No, I'm not going to like ruin my life for this Ronald Reagan.
01:28:35
Speaker
youre not ruining your life for Ronald Reagan? How could you? this devilish face, beautiful abs, but no, he is, he's too dumb for me. I don't care if there's a redemption arc.
01:28:46
Speaker
He has to soak in that. I was dumb and find someone new in his post dumb world. Yeah. Yeah. he really does. Uh, I'm not marrying him. He is.
Accents, Cuts, and Criticisms of 'The Big Easy'
01:28:59
Speaker
and' rather explode on the boat.
01:29:03
Speaker
Yeah. You know what? Throw me in the river with the toupee. I don't want any part of this. Yeah, I'm not ruining my life for him. some of that heroin water with the fish.
01:29:14
Speaker
I'm not ruining my life for Ellen Barkin either for that matter. I'm not ruining my life for a goddamn one of these. Maybe for Laura Palma's mom and her... Not even. She was pretty rude to the da She was rude and ah she had what was clearly, and i by clearly I mean very unclearly, a Barbados accent?
01:29:34
Speaker
Yeah! It was great. Garrett, despite the fact that we gave this movie such terribly low scores, would you recommend it to our our fellow ah club members?
01:29:50
Speaker
Accents alone are worth something. i think if I had watched this with a friend and got to like goof on it as it went, I would have had more fun than sitting there by myself watching this.
01:30:04
Speaker
the The jarring... I can't overstate how insane the accents are. I think we kind of quit talking about that pretty early on. Like, it came up once in a while. But it's every single every line.
01:30:17
Speaker
And it's all delivered so over the top, so cartoonishly, that really, John Goodman does feel like he got accidentally cut and pasted from a different movie.
01:30:31
Speaker
Yeah. And I do love that all the New Orleans references do feel like they are cut and pasted from a different script, right? Like that that they they had put in a bunch of Chicago references and they just had to like find and replace all of them.
01:30:50
Speaker
ah and Which is very fun if you're watching this with friends to try to point out like what do you think this reference was originally when it was called Windy City?
01:31:05
Speaker
Yeah, I think, I don't know. I do think, I don't know watch it. People seem to like it in the 80s when it came out. It was fresh and new then, I guess. I mean, the the running away the running away ah scene shot is absolutely worth it.
01:31:21
Speaker
Him screaming Bobby is worth the price of admission. cut to them being married after oh so apparently in the UK that was the we watched the American cut and in the UK there is a scene between those two where you do see Dennis Quaid give up his life as a police officer and see them have a moment and where he ends up asking her to marry him which is maybe even more wild I'd rather just not see that I guess it's just as outlandish
01:31:55
Speaker
is perfect i don't need any more information i don't want any more information ah the only thing that would have been better is if they'd made it properly nolens themed by showing them having a little second line dance down bourbon street followed by a big band maybe the 10 cans and a just married sign off the back of a fan boat even there you go No, instead we just get to see them being cute in their little wedding suite after they got married.
01:32:28
Speaker
It's fine. I was more bored watching this movie because so much of it was plot that just absolutely didn't matter. I was never bored. They would say the most boring things in the most hilarious accents.
01:32:41
Speaker
I think, Garrett, that you had an inferior viewing experience because you watched it by yourself. i just i think I do think that all the stuff with the mob and and whatnot was like the part of an erotic thriller where they just somebody just has an end-to-script job and it doesn't matter.
01:33:00
Speaker
And that the plot bits of this movie were just filler. Because the movie, to me, is their relationship. But they had to focus so much on this crime that never felt baked enough. The movie doesn't work give enough attention to either the trial or...
01:33:16
Speaker
or the string of murders that need to be solved which are completely separate concepts completely separate movies that should not have been in one big script because it doesn't give you enough time to truly have either one because for 90 minutes that's a lot of shit happening There's a lot of shit happening and it means that it doesn't get to be fleshed out or interesting. You don't, they're not actually fucking during the trial.
01:33:47
Speaker
So it's not like you get the sexy, like by day they're in the courtroom and their adversaries and at night they're having hot, steamy sex. Like that could have been fun or one, but God bless them for making it, keeping it short. Yeah, know.
01:34:03
Speaker
But like, if that had been like the main plot of the movie, that might have been okay. Or they could have been like, he's a, you know, the only uncorrupt cop and she's the DA and they're on the run from the corrupt cops and the mob and the voodoo gangs.
01:34:17
Speaker
And like, that could have been fun too, but we didn't have that either. Yeah.
01:34:24
Speaker
Watch at your
Differing Opinions and Solo Viewing Effects
01:34:25
Speaker
own risk. Kent liked it. I don't know. this is it's kind of It doesn't happen often that we're kind of divided on how we felt about one of these. i think it's because I watched it with my fiance and you watched it alone. I think that is the essential difference is I had someone to laugh with at every shitty line read and there were so many.
01:34:45
Speaker
See, but I was still enjoying those. i don't know. I don't know. it's It's enough. It's in the past. We both saw it. It was fine to me. You had a good time. I'm ready for the next one. Let's bring it on. i don't I've watched a few erotic thrillers lately that I don't even think I even told you about.
01:35:03
Speaker
what the hell, man? You stepping out on me? I've watched Sleeping with the Enemy. Julia Roberts, I watched that a while ago. ah watched the, whatever that most recent Freddie Prince Jr. Something about a pool.
01:35:18
Speaker
he's He's doing some erotic thrilling. Yeah.
Erotic Thriller Viewing Habits
01:35:21
Speaker
And then last night, I also watched Play Misty for Me, the Clint Eastwood erotic thriller from the 70s with Clint Eastwood and Lucille Bluth.
01:35:31
Speaker
And I'll tell you, Lucille Bluth, young. She's a babe. Oh, shit. What? Garrett, I feel little betrayed. Well, I gotta watch things to, like, figure out if we're gonna cover them.
01:35:42
Speaker
I feel betrayed. Those are three that I just, like, was on the fence about whether or not we should do. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Still on the fence. That's why I didn't bring them up to you.
01:35:53
Speaker
This is should be an off the air conversation. But why are we doing it here? Because
Podcast Wrap-up and Listener Engagement
01:35:59
Speaker
the microphones are still running. hey everybody, thanks so much for listening. Meeting adjourned.
01:36:05
Speaker
Instagram at erotic thriller club, erotic thriller club at gmail.com. Question, comments, concerns. i Rate, review, subscribe.
01:36:16
Speaker
I think that's all, Cher.
01:36:20
Speaker
Thank you for listening. We love you. Wet your snails. Fidelio pig, man. We want to shake you naked and eat you alive.