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Save Me (1994)
36 Plays3 days ago
On Erotic Thriller Club we have seen our fair share of men who are bad at their jobs but nothing like Harry Hamlin in Save Me. Can a man with too much time on his hands, too much denim on his body and a pocket rubber help save a damsel in distress from Michael Ironside?
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Transcript
Introduction to Erotic Thriller Club: Setting the Stage
00:00:00
Speaker
Ladies, gentlemen, folks beyond the binary, grab your husband, wife, partner, mistress, the biggest handgun that will fit comfortably in your businessman briefcase and gather around your radio.
00:00:12
Speaker
It's time for this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club.
00:00:26
Speaker
antithesis, mysterious and dangerous and oh yes, they've got all the sexiest movies out of the edges. So if you're fatally attracted to the raciest stuff, erotic film club.
00:00:47
Speaker
If you want a raciest movie and you're too classy, we're smart.
Harry Hamlin's Character Dilemma: Work vs Personal Life
00:01:08
Speaker
Long before Harry Hamlin was distributing his special sauces to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, he was playing a very tan businessman. But not just any businessman, maybe the worst businessman the erotic thriller club has ever encountered.
00:01:25
Speaker
One day, while not doing his job, a woman slips him a secret note to help her escape the evil grasp of Michael Ironside. Can Harry Hamlin get some ass and save the day all without doing any work or ruining his life?
00:01:41
Speaker
This week on the Erotic Thriller Club, save me. Hey everybody, welcome to this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club. As always, Garrett Callender and Kit Ryan here.
00:01:51
Speaker
And this is where we answer the genre's three most important questions. Was I aroused? Was I thrilled? And would I ruin my life for this person? And Garrett, I'm so glad you brought up the briefcase and ah how bad this man is at his job because I have here ah one of my famous ah little tally lists.
00:02:12
Speaker
I listed every time this man left work early. It's seven. I don't say this lightly. He is so bad at job.
00:02:23
Speaker
Yes. And here's the thing. I do not love capitalism. You do not have love in your heart for ah some guy whose job is finance.
Criticism of Protagonist's Work Ethic
00:02:33
Speaker
Right? That's...
00:02:35
Speaker
We shouldn't be wanting this man to be doing more work. ah But but at the same time, was on the side of the angry business people telling him he needed to do his dang job.
00:02:50
Speaker
was there with them. Like they were like, we're having a cover for your lazy butt. And I'm like, yeah, I would be resentful about that, too. This man cannot. He showed up at work in the first scene where he goes to work for five minutes and turned around and walked out.
00:03:08
Speaker
Not only turned around and walked out, looked at his watch like he was late for something. And it turns he's late for leaving work. He's late for leaving work early.
00:03:19
Speaker
Very early. Like possibly... Eight hours and 55 minutes early. He had shown up late only to then turn around and leave early. He is the worst coworker of all time. and This movie does an incredible job but not No, i don't want to say incredible, but it's trying to gaslight me into thinking he's a hero. oh hundred person Oh, 100%.
00:03:46
Speaker
100%. This movie very much wants us to think that this man is not just the protagonist, but the hero of this story. And he is not. I'm not going to skip ahead to things that happen later so that they remain a bit of a surprise, but his descent into...
00:04:05
Speaker
being the fucking villain of this story is a slippery slope kit. It is. It is. But here's the thing is at every, every opportunity he could have chosen to just go to work and be good at his job, but he didn't.
00:04:22
Speaker
He is presented with not even really that hard decisions, but he's got a lot going on in his life kit. Before we hop into the movie, I do want to give a shout out to, uh,
00:04:34
Speaker
Cam from the Jacked Up Review Show podcast that gave us this suggestion. He sent us an email, which you can do, eroticthrillerclub at gmail.com. We love to hear from people.
00:04:46
Speaker
He gave us ah just um a laundry list of erotic thrillers. Some that are on the list, some we've never heard of.
Film Critique: Poster, Opening Scene, and Cinematography
00:04:53
Speaker
Some that really got me thinking. He has Ghost on here. had not thought about it, but I guess Ghost technically...
00:05:04
Speaker
It's a thriller. a thriller and it's got sexy pottery. And if that's not good enough for you, I don't know what is. Hey, like i said to him, we're crazy for Swayze over here. So yes we are willing to at least give it a try.
00:05:20
Speaker
But he gave us some others in the couple. The top two that he listed was that I think these ones specific. The poster to this Harry Hamlin movie. It's gorgeous.
00:05:30
Speaker
Oh, it is. holy a lord it might be the best poster next to the French poster for cat people. I don't know. Nothing's ever going to top that, but like, uh, I don't know. I don't, Hmm.
00:05:43
Speaker
Is it up there with like body heat? Is that the one with the, the slats? Cause that one's really cool. Or is that body? That one, that was body double. Yeah. That one's cool. that one's cool That one's really good too.
00:05:56
Speaker
But this one's more like romance novel cover, Harry Hamlin on top of a lady. Giant tits right in your face is the practically spilling out of the dress. It's great.
00:06:11
Speaker
It gets your attention. got me to say, what's this movie about? And watch it twice. but ye Yep, yep, yep, yep. Let's, okay, let's dive into this shit, though.
Character Analysis: Harry Hamlin's Aging Appeal and Personal Struggles
00:06:23
Speaker
Can we talk about the opening piano music, though? Because it was absolutely on this very special episode of Seventh Heaven type of music.
00:06:35
Speaker
And I- score It was so weird. And also the camera was super weirdly jerky. It was like trying to do a pan around to his house and it was just like in fits and starts. It it was not a good opening look to your movie.
00:06:50
Speaker
Yeah. For a movie that does open with the MGM lion roaring at you, it's, pretty shitty like you can tell it is a competently enough made movie that it doesn't look straight to video I wouldn't but elements of it like you said the score throughout is really maybe the worst score of any of these movies we've watched it is trash it's especially a downer after coming off of Cruel Intentions the best soundtrack of any movie that we watched here
00:07:26
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. This doesn't have any real songs. No, it's just got tinkly piano music. But there's never any question of how you should be feeling. No, that is true. All you have to do is give that music a listen and you know.
Voyeurism and Ethical Concerns in Lingerie Store
00:07:42
Speaker
Let there be no ambiguity here. Yeah, this movie opens with Harry Hamlin, who I do think as he's gotten older and entered his Silver Fox era, is more of a babe than he is in this film.
00:07:55
Speaker
I would agree 100%. Big five o'clock shadow a lot because he's dealing with shit. And we find out as he's hanging with his son, why aren't you a mom sleeping in the same bed? Why are you guys... Don't you guys love each other any anymore?
00:08:09
Speaker
oh It is clear she has left him. And we are, he doesn't know why. And we're supposed to feel sympathy. We know as we go. No, we know as we go. We, here's the thing.
00:08:22
Speaker
and When someone says, you know, we're getting a divorce, we're getting separated. And I don't know why.
00:08:32
Speaker
I immediately think they are at fault, or at the very least, they just haven't been listening, because no way she didn't tell you. You just didn't process it. Or you thought, yeah, but that reason's not good enough, so you mentally erased it.
00:08:45
Speaker
and And you instead came up with, I don't know, everything was perfect. We were so happy. It is also possible that he didn't want to say mom's bone in the milk, man. Yeah, that is true. But he says this to ah to everybody buddy that he doesn't know why. don't know why. Even his
Protagonist's Misguided Obsessions and Priorities
00:09:02
Speaker
best friends, he won't sell them. Mom's screwing the milk, man.
00:09:07
Speaker
His wife and kid are about to leave town for the summer. They're going to have a ah separated summer. And that's the day that he comes into work very late, ah is there for five minutes, does no work, and then ducks out because he realizes he needs to buy his kid a going away present, something he, of course, couldn't have done on his lunch break.
00:09:27
Speaker
Although he's so late, it may be past lunch when he showed up. I do not know. His businessman outfit is wild. Mm-hmm. Everyone in this office is suit and ties.
00:09:40
Speaker
Harry Hamlin shows up cowboy boots. jeans tucked in dress shirt with a tie but motorcycle jacket yeah well it says like airborne it's like uh it it implies that he was in the services at some point oh my god is that what i'm supposed to take from that well she said you were in the 57th like uh oh my god how does she phrase it she asks him later in the movie and it's like it deals with like being in the air force
00:10:12
Speaker
ah And he says, like, she's like, you're the one in the Air Force jacket. And he says, yes. So I don't know if I'm supposed to believe he was a serviceman at some point or if he just has a cool jacket.
00:10:25
Speaker
It's hard to know because we don't get to know a lot about the lives of these people other than this man doesn't like to work. The first thing his friend says to him when he walks into work is like, man, you're pretty late today. And did you hear who got the promotion?
00:10:42
Speaker
a guy who fucking shows up on time. Yeah. And he's like, god I hate that guy. And I'm like, the guy who shows up on time? You hate that guy? You don't like that guy? Why is he showing you up?
00:10:53
Speaker
The guy doesn't seem great, but No, he seems like a jackass. But like, also, they say that they have been covering for him for a year.
00:11:05
Speaker
a year. He has been, like, he was one of their top performers, and then trouble with the wifey started, and he has been bad at his job for full calendar year.
00:11:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, that's ah's that's no good. But hey, he's still got job. Job. He's still jobbing. He's jobbing. I guess a salesman may be selling. He sells financial products of some yeah It doesn't matter. Don't ask too many questions. The writer doesn't want you to. No, they want to make it clear that he does this in a non sleazy way. And the guy Robbins who just got the promotion, he does things in a sleazy bad way.
00:11:50
Speaker
So we're not supposed to like him, even though he is a man who does his job.
00:11:58
Speaker
When he leaves and says he's going to get His kid a going away present. He's at the mall. There's a man in a bucket hat preaching about the end of the world, which is a great tiny little detail that doesn't matter.
00:12:12
Speaker
i love it. I love it. Great little detail. And he immediately... Becomes creepy. Yes, so creepy. Why so immediately? what i mean, his buddy's like, I'm setting you up with a blind date. You need to get laid. And it's like, I guess i guess this problem was more serious than we thought because he is apparently um a sex pest.
00:12:36
Speaker
Yeah. Because he sees this hot blonde walking into a lingerie store and his first instinct is, I'm going just first of all stare at her and do a full turnaround as she walks past so that it's very obvious I'm staring at her.
00:12:54
Speaker
And follow her into the lingerie store and then dodge questions from the people who work there who are asking him if he would like to buy anything because he's actually staring at the changing room waiting for her to come out in the lingerie she's trying on so that he can watch.
00:13:10
Speaker
He's practically drooling all over the merchandise. Okay. However, she's in the changing room. There's a mirror in the changing room.
00:13:21
Speaker
Why does she come out of the changing room in the lingerie to look at a different mirror? Because she is friends with the shopkeeper lady and she wanted her opinion on it.
00:13:33
Speaker
We don't know that at this point in the film that they are
Protagonist's Delusional Behavior and Work Negligence
00:13:37
Speaker
acquainted. Yes, we do. Because she says something like, I want something that's like my usual, you know, not too flashy. So, you know, she comes in there all the time.
00:13:45
Speaker
I love, though, that he just is walking around like a weirdo at Hooters. Yeah. Like, this is, he you can't just go in there. And eventually, the lady says, see anything you like?
00:14:00
Speaker
And he's like, no. no oh Oh, God. What is his deal, though? Like, you're right. Beginning, his friend is like, you excited about this this blind date I set you up on? He's like, I'm still wearing my ring, friendo.
00:14:13
Speaker
And he's like well, here's a rubber. Put it in your pocket. Right? And then next thing you know, he is salivating. um like um and a hum and ah like um like you think he's going to leg like a dog
00:14:30
Speaker
she's okay too like i think this is a movie about two people who are conventionally attractive that um i wouldn't like i don't know i don't know they maybe they wouldn't ruin in your life for is that what you're trying to you were gonna skip ahead to the end and say they are conventionally attractive but not so attractive you would ruin your life for them correct Spoiler alert for the end of the episode, but like also, yeah, no, that's part of the problem is this woman is supposed to be life-ruiningly beautiful for multiple men.
00:15:04
Speaker
That every man that sees her is everyone overwhelmed with the desire to possess her and that he alone will possess her. And that she has has gone crazy from all the men wanting her And yeah that is why she does bad things.
00:15:23
Speaker
And yet she's like a regular amount of pretty. She would be the prettiest girl in your small town high school. I would have loved to have seen the casting call of just all the blonde ladies that look the same.
00:15:39
Speaker
No, I mean, yeah, I don't even have anything to say about the acting in this movie, really. It's not like it's not like as bad as some other like Skinamax stuff we've watched.
00:15:51
Speaker
It's fine. It's fine. And so he he's about to talk to her. She's coming out of the lingerie shop. And ah oh, no, Michael Ironside's there.
00:16:03
Speaker
And he's giving her a hug, saying that she's he's worried about her and that you know there there might be trouble. And he seems very controlling. And she, behind his back, slaps a post-it note onto a pillar that says, save me.
00:16:21
Speaker
And then a phone number. I kind of liked that. It was good. i was kind of on board with this setup. Mm-hmm. I liked it. i um I was kind of excited, too, that I think in my mind, Michael Ironside is a classier actor than he really is.
00:16:38
Speaker
Oh, he's a very classy actor. What are talking about? He classes up the joint everywhere he goes. He always gives it ah full, you know, effort, I feel like.
00:16:50
Speaker
and well We'll get into that as the movie goes. We'll into that, I suppose. I did look at his resume and saw that he has written and directed two movies, one of which I believe is an erotic thriller. So that made me actually respect him a little more, where it's like, ah, he's a student of the genre. He knows his craft.
00:17:12
Speaker
he want to be in this one, though? i mean He's just like, I'll be the bad guy in the titty movie. So here's my question, Garrett. Did he or did he not actually buy a going away gift for his son?
Unethical Store Setup and Moral Dilemmas
00:17:22
Speaker
Because we never see his child again. Well, I assume he had another five hours of not being at work after his...
00:17:32
Speaker
You think he just hustled back to work? This motherfucker perused so many stores that he didn't give a shit about before he even considered getting back in his car.
00:17:43
Speaker
may have followed at least three other ladies into various shops. and what's funny is like he's always going to like the Santa Monica area to do everything.
00:17:55
Speaker
And I have no, i I have, he does not live in that area. He does not work near that area. He is going as fur for the far away and Los Angeles as humanly possible to eat up enough time to not have to be at job.
00:18:10
Speaker
That is a really good point. Cause you know, you can lose a lot of time in LA traffic if you're trying to not be at work. Hey, I got stuck in trying. Going where? I had to go to the Santa Monica Pier.
00:18:23
Speaker
For what? There is a carousel in a restaurant. ah That's where he needed to bring her. can't take a pretty lady places other than the pier, Garrett.
00:18:36
Speaker
It's the sexiest place to bring a woman. I just love that we get back to his office. He's feet on desk, cowboy boots, jeans, button up. and he's just like cursing out loud about his boss.
00:18:52
Speaker
And then doesn't he get, he gets called into the office, right? Oh yeah, he gets called to the carpet. Oh yeah, and they're that's when they're telling him that he's been screwing around and he needs to get his, he has 30 days to get his crap together and get his numbers up.
00:19:09
Speaker
You know, the numbers, the important numbers, the sales numbers for what are we selling? It doesn't matter. He needs the numbers. The numbers need to go up. He has 30 days to do it. Dang it. And his rival Robbins is just just so excited. He can't handle it.
00:19:24
Speaker
How much he wants our our quote unquote hero to get fired. I've made a lot of money for this company and I've done it without raping my clients.
00:19:36
Speaker
Which, interesting choice of word there, sir. sure hope that that sure Sure hope that won't come back to bite you. ah It's bizarre, though, because he is on a 30-day probation now.
00:19:49
Speaker
To me, that says... If you fuck up in the next 30 days. That is what probation usually means. We can let you go. Yes, because you have been warned. You're on a what is it? A PIP, a performance improvement plan, right? Like this means you're on thin ice.
00:20:03
Speaker
He interprets it to mean that it's basically tenure that like, you can't do anything to me in 30 days because I have 30 days to prove myself and those 30 days aren't up yet. So you're not allowed to fire me for going off to lunch and not coming back.
00:20:18
Speaker
which is what he does while on probation. No, this is, yeah, he got the Super Mario gold star for fucking up. You get that star, you're absolutely invincible, shit on that desk, do whatever, like sexually assault that woman, harass that guy.
00:20:35
Speaker
You are free. You are invincible. As long as by day 30, your numbers are up. As long as by day 30, them numbers are up. ah So he does go on the blind date. Garrett, I just I wanted to know how you felt about the lady on the blind date who he is clearly not feeling.
00:20:53
Speaker
He is not into this woman because she's not, you know, oppos yeah given sticky notes that say save me. Instead, she is um drinking beer and enjoying monster trucks. I would ruin my life for this woman. knew you were going to say that. I knew it. I knew it. I was watching this with John and I looked over and i was like, Garrett's going to be so pissed that he disrespected this woman.
00:21:17
Speaker
And what was weird at first is he, I, you don't realize at first he's there on a double date with his friend. So it seems like his friend is just tagging along. She's got quite the ass on her. Doesn't she? Is she pounding beers at the monster truck rally? Like, sir, you could close this deal. Now the monster truck lady is here for fun.
00:21:40
Speaker
yeah I still hope you have that rubber in your pocket because going to need it. we leave it Listen, she can pound all those beers and still have that rock and bod. Like God, you, you, you struck gold.
00:21:54
Speaker
If anything, it's more telling for me if someone isn't hooting and hollering at a monster truck show. Right? That's the thing. is like She is appropriate for the atmosphere. She is at a monster truck rally, and she is cheering and hollering and having a good time.
00:22:10
Speaker
He's the one who looks like a jackass for just sitting there and being pouty-faced at a monster truck rally. Red flag. Seriously, you and are both people with depression.
00:22:22
Speaker
That dark cloud is over our heads. You go to the the monster truck rally. You see the big thing crush the little thing, soar through the air. That produces serotonin.
00:22:34
Speaker
Yep, yep, yep. Every time, 100% the time. 100% of the time. Better than any pills we've ever been on. Absolutely. It's just unfortunate you can't bring monster trucks to work. Otherwise, we'd be fine all the time.
00:22:48
Speaker
up It's just like the fact that he disrespects this woman and is not into her because she is exactly as pretty as the woman he's obsessed with.
00:23:00
Speaker
It's just that this woman looks like she's a lot more fun. And I guess that's a problem for him. Yeah. He hasn't seen her try on lingerie. I don't. that Fuck him. You know, and if we were a podcast that had better producers and more planning, i bet you anything we could have had that woman on this podcast.
00:23:21
Speaker
And be like, how do you feel about this? Did you feel disrespected by Hamlin? Did he give you the sauce?
00:23:32
Speaker
So, yeah, he's ditching work again ah the next day because he calls the lady on the number and they have to go to the pier.
00:23:45
Speaker
Oh, I actually have it in my notes. he is She said, are you the guy in the 86th Airborne jacket? Mm-hmm.
Critique of Sex Scenes and Protagonist's Ethics
00:23:51
Speaker
And yeah, so she says that she's dating this guy, Oliver, that's Michael Ironside, and that Oliver doesn't let her leave.
00:24:01
Speaker
ah And he's like, well, you could go to the cops. And she's like, you just don't get me. Why would you say that? And she just walks away. Which, yeah, his as he ends up having to deal with the cops more and more, he understands why she gave him that reaction.
00:24:20
Speaker
Cops in useless erotic thriller movies are almost always completely useless. Their answer to everything is like, well, has he been killed? yet You haven't been killed yet.
00:24:31
Speaker
Have you been killed yet? Obviously not, since you're talking to me. Okay, he killed your dog? Okay, but that's not you, is it? and Well, turns out killing a dog isn't a crime in this state. Oh, he left a threatening message. Did he sign it?
00:24:44
Speaker
Ooh, then we don't have proof it's him. Like, they'll find any excuse. Cops and erotic thrillers are working for the bad guys.
00:24:55
Speaker
Kit, as she leaves, the next shot we cut to is the most relatable he's ever been in the movie. like This is the most relatable he will be.
00:25:06
Speaker
At home, sulking, drinking a beer in a Canadian tuxedo. He got home, popped his work shirt off, buttoned up his denim vest, yes sleeveless, just sitting there sulking with his beer,
00:25:24
Speaker
We've all been there, guys. We've all had that denim tuxedo on and just had a bad day. You still got the rubber in your pocket and you just... Got my rubber in my pocket and my denim vest but the and and I'm just going to feel my feelings here.
00:25:42
Speaker
Sound like you're trying to do an Atlantis more set lyric there. Got a rubber in my pocket and the other hand is nursing a beer.
00:25:54
Speaker
So obviously she calls him again and like, I'm sorry, I was so rude. Let's go out again. And she reveals that Oliver, she met him because Michael Ironsides, is her mom's psychiatrist, which is such a huge ethical no-no.
00:26:11
Speaker
That's not okay. um And she's like, yeah, but he now he he won't let me see my mom if I break up with him. And our here quote unquote hero here ah sees no no holes in this story that he would like to poke.
00:26:30
Speaker
None whatsoever. And she takes him into the back of the lingerie store, which for some reason she has access to. um what do they find there, Garrett?
00:26:42
Speaker
Kit, she says, let's go somewhere more private. They go back into the the lingerie store. She says, I have friends here. She speaks to the employee and says, can we go back?
00:26:54
Speaker
The employee says, yes.
Comedic Mishaps and Ethical Questions
00:26:56
Speaker
They go through this door. So the employee knows this is back there. This is a thing. Yes. There is a twin bed with a one-way mirror into the the dressing rooms.
00:27:11
Speaker
Yes. and so And she pulls a little curtain aside and you see that it is ah a one way mirror and that they are watching a hot blonde lady try on like 30 different pairs of underwear.
00:27:23
Speaker
She's in there a while. a lot. You can't really try on underwear like that in stores, right? Like you can't just go full nude. No. Why would you do that? That's unhygienic.
00:27:34
Speaker
Well, that's the least concerning thing about this store right now, kid. it really is. You're not wrong. What is this store? Is it a brothel? Who's back there? Why is there a twin bed? I don't know.
00:27:47
Speaker
We only see women working there. And so, like, is this is is it the the shop girls that are doing this that are just like, ha, ha, ha, we can look in? This feels like a boys' human trafficking thing something. This is not, there are so many ways that this is not okay. And his response is just like, this is the hottest thing any girl could ever bring me to see.
00:28:09
Speaker
I'm so into it. He's right though.
00:28:15
Speaker
Garrett. It's so unethical, but it's, I'm just saying from his point of view, he's an awful person, which apparently I'm bad too. If I'm in this movie in real life, I walk, but like,
00:28:30
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know. this is it's so naughty. It's so unbelievably naughty. And all you can do is fuck her on the sewing table. That's what you got to do. You got fuck her on the sewing table.
00:28:43
Speaker
This movie has so much sex in it, Kit. It's so much. And not good. No, no. like I even noted like they don't kiss each other all that often. They mostly just breathe on each other really close together. It's really unsettling.
00:29:02
Speaker
and In later scenes, there's too much kissing. like So I think we've talked about this on here before. ah Like the movie Zack and Miri make a porno. Where at the end, when Zack and Miri finally have to have sex with each other, it's just very romantic and intimate.
00:29:18
Speaker
And they bring it to them at the end. They're like what the fuck are we supposed to do with this? This is not a movie that can really turn you on.
00:29:29
Speaker
Because they are like, It looks like they're just in love and there's so much foreplay. I'm somebody who likes a little too much foreplay to the point where it's like, can we move on?
00:29:41
Speaker
I finally became the other person saying, let's move on. The thing is, like, it's really hilarious because they do have way too much foreplay. And then as soon as he is inside her, he comes every single time.
00:29:55
Speaker
That's why there's so much foreplay. That's why there's so much foreplay is he knows, he knows that as soon as he gets in there, it's all over, baby. He is exploded. Like that beer. He has to nurse this boner.
00:30:07
Speaker
And that's the thing is in this, this scene, I'm like, I don't think they actually had sex because she is wearing like a leotard type style thing with a pantyhose underneath
Escalation: Workplace Chaos and Violent Confrontation
00:30:19
Speaker
it. So there is no access port for him to get into.
00:30:23
Speaker
Like you would have to take off absolutely everything to get to it. So I think he just jeans. He comes in his pants. yeah I think he just came in his pants. He was put in an unbelievably sexy situation.
00:30:38
Speaker
There's this beautiful woman naked to the side. She's making faces. He wasn't planning on being here today. supposed to be at work.
00:30:48
Speaker
He's supposed to be at work. Garrett. no It sucks. i
00:30:57
Speaker
but Next, ah we see her and Michael Ironside's house. and ah We see Michael's on the phone with someone ah at our boy's company threatening to call the SEC for something unethical.
00:31:13
Speaker
And ah he says, you know, that was so childish of you to pass a note to a stranger. And he points out that ah her not being allowed to answer the phone is for her own good.
00:31:26
Speaker
And... um ah wish they'd gotten more into exactly what the hell her relationship with with him was, because he's sort of treating her like a patient that he is trying to protect everyone else from.
00:31:45
Speaker
Like, he needs her to not be interacting with other people because she will be crazy and hurt them. But also, it seems like he's jealous of her and is having sex with her Yeah.
00:31:58
Speaker
He may have fucked her at one point. This, and it really is like a I want to spoil anything. Like it does kind of seem like he's Dr. Loomis and she's Michael Myers.
00:32:12
Speaker
Black eyes. There's nothing but his soulless. yeah
00:32:19
Speaker
Great in bed, though. lot of kissing. lot of kissing. She shows up at work and ah they go they go to the pier again because why not?
00:32:31
Speaker
and wait no no, no, He shows up at work and the boss is like infatuated with Everyone in the office is staring at her because she is supposed to be this like magnetic sort of force to men's eyes.
00:32:48
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. He even, the his like boss that hates him so much for good reason. Even like, oh, he's not here right now. He's out getting a vasectomy, which what are you trying to, I don't understand that move.
00:33:00
Speaker
Right, like are you trying to be like, see, so he won't have sex with you anymore? Like a vasectomy is like, I don't know. I don't know. That doesn't make... i don't, like... what's is that him saying, like, I will have children with you right now? Is that what you want? Because I will give you children. And also, I won't have any recovery period where I can't have sex because of stitches. So you should have sex with me instead.
00:33:26
Speaker
Let's get to the Santa Monica beer. getler
00:33:31
Speaker
Yeah. He says to the boss, like she wants lunch. He's like, well, today is like the best selling day. Oh yeah. Don't like and be gone long.
00:33:41
Speaker
Listen, the rates were cut. And so it's a good day for business is the important thing. Everybody's going to need to be on the phone all day for important business business. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just going to lunch.
00:33:54
Speaker
Business. pocket rubber
00:33:59
Speaker
They go to the pier, he finds a bruise on her and she's like, it's not a big deal. and he's like, I'm going to kill that guy. And she's like, no, just have sex with me in this convertible.
00:34:11
Speaker
And they so they put the T-top up like partway. little bit. Her head is like poking out and she's like, let's give him a show. And there is simply no way that she got his dick out and a condom on it from that position. I do not believe it for a single second.
00:34:29
Speaker
But once again, as soon as he enters, ah he has come. This is a bizarre sex scene because they are in the parking lot on the Santa Monica Pier, but essentially right in front of a restaurant, full visible.
00:34:45
Speaker
Picture if you were eating on the sidewalk of a restaurant in a city. There are children. You get your children playing. You get your carnival music. It's summertime. All the kids are out of school. Of course, they're going to be at the pier.
00:35:00
Speaker
This guy just immediately rips her titties out of her shirt. Oh, he don't care. he's moaning. They're both moaning. It's a lot of moaning. And it made it really stupid when, uh, later he was like, i don't want other men looking at you. I'm like, you have, you are clearly with an exhibitionist. This woman has, it takes her titties out at every opportunity.
00:35:24
Speaker
Like, I feel like he rips them out a lot. Like he, he forcefully, but but case he is sending mixed messages. Yeah.
00:35:33
Speaker
Do you or do you not want other men to look at her boobies? Because... You can look at them, but from the sidewalk of the restaurant on Santa Monica Pier. Not in a hot tub.
00:35:46
Speaker
Oh my God. When we get there, Jesus Christ. This guy, Kit, not only is he bad at his job, this is the most inconsiderate man. He's such an asshole.
00:35:58
Speaker
This man is an asshole. Go on. When we get to the his friend's cabin. well Oh, God, yes. now The amount of rudeness yeah as a guest. He has no i hate him no so no sense of of being a good guest.
00:36:14
Speaker
How does good a guest as he is an employee, Garrett?
00:36:19
Speaker
I can't decide which is worse, to be honest. Which is worse? Because one, going to get cum on my rug. a Anyway, there's a really weird line to him that I loved, ah which is, I think you're attractive.
00:36:34
Speaker
Men like you ought to be shot. And then he comes basically immediately after that. Oh, God. I'm so hot. She wants to kill me. Okay.
00:36:46
Speaker
So he shows up to work the next day and he's got a full suit on He's clearly feeling himself. And everyone's like, you went to lunch and never came back on the most important business day in all of business.
00:36:58
Speaker
Well, I'm on probation. Fuck you. He says that! He does! He acts like probation a... Immunity.
Moral Descent in Cabin Getaway
00:37:08
Speaker
Immunity on Survivor. I'm on 30 day probation. You can't do shit. I'm incompetent. And as long as I make the sale of my life on the 29th day, suck my dick.
00:37:27
Speaker
It won't take long. I'll come so fast.
00:37:34
Speaker
This was insane, Kit. As I sat there, I was in disbelief of whether or not the character knew what 30-day probation was or if the writer didn't know. Or if maybe I didn't know. I was feeling a little gaslit, honestly. Like, maybe I don't know.
00:37:49
Speaker
I asked three different people because I was like, hey, just curious. Like, if you're on 30-day probation, shit that's not a gold star from Mario, right? That doesn't. That doesn't mean you can go to lunch and just never come back, right?
00:38:02
Speaker
And then still show up the next day? Fuck you, and it's just not on the record? ah it's fine. Get over it. Because this is his boss. Yes. It doesn't matter how little he respects him. It's his new superior.
00:38:15
Speaker
It is his superior. There is still a boss above that boss who has the ultimate say over hiring and firing. But that does not mean you should piss off your middle boss. ah Just because main boss is out of town. Like it's, this scene like yes made my head spin. I loved it. and It's a thinker.
00:38:36
Speaker
It goes to show that even when this man is at work, I thought for sure he gets a call from the crying lady saying Oliver's gone nuts and I need help. And I thought for sure he was going to walk out the door. But no, he's going to stay at work.
00:38:50
Speaker
He says, you go to my house and I'll be there at the end of the work day. But you go be safe there. And she's like, also, my crazy ex-boyfriend is on his way to your office right now. So even when he is at the office, Garrett, he is not getting any dang work done.
00:39:07
Speaker
because Michael Ironside shows up and now they have to have a little meeting in the conference room where they smoke inside because it's the 90s. The funniest line in the movie is said during this scene.
00:39:18
Speaker
er So they're going back and forth and Michael Ironside is like, you don't know what the fuck is going on.
00:39:27
Speaker
Just stay away. You are a thousand percent going to get hurt if you keep seeing this woman. Like he's saying it a little threat like. But at one point he says, you should forget you ever met this girl.
00:39:39
Speaker
I don't know why she passed a note to a complete stranger. I'm a busy man. And I assume you are too. Little does Michael Ironside know he's got nothing going on going on. This man is not busy. This man has nothing but time on his side.
00:39:56
Speaker
Nothing but time and denim, baby. Time, denim, and a pocket rubber. The three most dangerous things.
00:40:05
Speaker
That's all you need
00:40:11
Speaker
Also, this man is a psychologist and he
Flawed Heroics and Climax
00:40:14
Speaker
thinks that telling him no actual information about this woman and only just the fact that like you don't know what you're getting into and you're going to get hurt is going to dissuade him as opposed to make him want to get involved more. Like, how good are you at psychology, really, that you thought this was going to work?
00:40:34
Speaker
You're right. Like his biggest ah threat to himself really in this movie is not being able to deliver information quickly enough and actually provide a real piece of information rather than vague threats.
00:40:49
Speaker
He does it consistently. And at first I was like, well, maybe it's a HIPAA thing, you know, like she's his patient and you can't go around telling people.
00:40:59
Speaker
Jared, did I make a joke on your beer? Yes. yes
00:41:06
Speaker
so like The idea of somebody being competent at their job in this movie almost killed me.
00:41:13
Speaker
Maybe it's like you can't go around and say, like, listen, she has this diagnosis. She is unstable. You should not date her. Like, that's all stuff that would be inappropriate for him to say. But he's trying to do what he can within the boundaries of his professional obligations.
00:41:28
Speaker
And then it turns out, absolutely not. He is just willing to throw out that diagnosis later in the movie. there The HIPAA violations start coming hard and fast, just like this man in his pants.
00:41:41
Speaker
He's... Listen, bitch, I'm Loomis, she's Michael Myers, and we're in Haddonfield on October 31st. And he just leaves, and the guy's like, what does that mean?
00:41:52
Speaker
What?
00:41:54
Speaker
Basically, exactly. He doesn't. Well, he doesn't have time. He's a very busy man. Didn't you know? he's Yeah. Yeah. he He went to a monster truck show once. Didn't care for it. Didn't care for it.
00:42:07
Speaker
So he comes home and she's made him dinner and she's got champagne. So we're doing good. uh when she's using the the nipples as an accessory and this brawless sleeveless sweater vest uh they're gonna have sex on the bed and then he's like gonna put down the photo as his family and she's like no don't put it away i like it she likes it when they watch i guess um And this is, we get to see boobies. We get to see but yeah his butt, which is great.
00:42:40
Speaker
ah Very white. Very white. Like the hard cut off on the tan. Well, you know, denim is really good at blocking UV rays. It's so good.
00:42:52
Speaker
So good. That ass, White. and He does make a mistake in this that either he's inconsiderate, which is the actual answer, or he's an etie also the answer in it as well.
00:43:07
Speaker
He's definitely run into this. This guy's five o'clock shadow is crazy. And he is rubbing his face all over her titties. It can't feel good, but she is faking it so good. She's just like, oh, yes, double on my boobies.
00:43:22
Speaker
I love it. The actress needed a stunt bump for that. Like she did a little bump in pay because that is a fucking cheese grater face moving across her soft breasts. And as a person with a beard. I only imagine once he was down on her in her thighs, like, good God.
00:43:40
Speaker
The amount of nipple trauma that actress received that day from Harry Hamlin is inexcusable to the you know the producers. They need to be to be looked at here.
00:43:52
Speaker
OSHA violation, I'm pretty sure, in terms of workplace injury. yeah you You only need to get that complaint once before you're like, I never want that to happen to anyone else ever again.
00:44:04
Speaker
That was like committing vehicular manslaughter. I was done drunk driving that day. Well, Garrett, as we well know, there are plenty of people who are repeat offenders when it comes to drunk driving. So, you know, same is true for cheese grater face.
00:44:21
Speaker
Yeah. So, yeah. Um. it's a long sex scene too it's long it's where it's it's boring it's boring it's not hot there's no interesting they're just sort rubbing up against it yeah you compare this to what angelina jolie and antonio bandanas when they were like in ah they got the whole kama sutra every page and this it is either missionary or she's on top and it's like they're just still missionary it's just flat just
00:44:53
Speaker
flat. It's very, it's like, it's not, she's not in any, doing anything exciting. There's not much visual interest here other than just the novelty. 90 minutes. Yeah. You got to fill 90 minutes with boobies.
00:45:06
Speaker
And, um, so he gets, uh, Oh, Oliver blows up the answering machine with a bunch of messages. And, uh, he gets followed in the parking garage by a car creible that tries to run him over, does not run him over. He jumps out of the way.
00:45:23
Speaker
A security guard comes out is like, what's going on, man? Carr turns around, tries to run over them again. Loved that so much. I appreciate that level of dedication. You're not just going to try to run over some guy once and just let the fact that a security guard standing there and you would be committing a double homicide get in your way.
00:45:43
Speaker
not. Just go for it. Gun it. Also, he did when he missed the first time shouted, you missed you you missed me, asshole. Go fuck yourself. Screech comes back.
00:45:56
Speaker
That does seem like you are asking for it at that point. We do need to give credit where credit is due in this scene. And there is somebody, probably just one person, I would imagine.
00:46:08
Speaker
There was a stuntman who showed up to work this day who went above and beyond what this movie Oh,
00:46:17
Speaker
At the first pass where the car almost hits him, that stuntman hurls himself sideways so hard into a parked car.
Moral Ambiguity and Final Showdown
00:46:29
Speaker
Perfectly horizontal. Smashes into the bumper, hits the ground great! Looks great. And then when he comes back, that stuntman shoves that old man down in a way that he isn't going to have, like, he's going to brain drama. That old man probably died three days after this. 100%. In which case, um thank you for your service.
00:46:49
Speaker
But he jumps out of the way. Mm-hmm. With no time to spare when that car is going to hit him the second time. Why did that stuntman go so hard on such a shitty movie?
00:47:00
Speaker
Because the man is a professional, Garrett. Some people, not everyone is like our protagonist. Some people like ah being good at their jobs, Garrett. That's true.
00:47:12
Speaker
So, ah you know, got cops. We got Bill Nunn here. ah ah Legend of the screen. Radio Raheem from Do the Right Thing as the cop. A wonderful character actor.
00:47:26
Speaker
And he's like, man, that sucks. Not lot I can do, though. i hate that we kind of have to waste our time on cop characters in these movies because it's always the same scene.
00:47:38
Speaker
Yes, it's always the sorry, there's nothing I can do. Nothing happened yet. Do you know what we are lucky for in this movie? That we have found the first protagonist that is too lazy to want to do Batman work.
00:47:56
Speaker
Mm-hmm. You're right. Like he could have ah done a lot. He could have looked up like the the license plate number. he could have tried to track down any number of bits of information.
00:48:07
Speaker
No. and fact His buddy is like, hey, you want me to look into that guy who might have tried to kill you? And he's like, i don't know. Sounds like if it can't be done in a single phone call or one car ride to a place. He ain't doing it. It ain't happening. and he this At his core, a lazy man.
00:48:27
Speaker
And now we get to go to the cabin. We're going on a little weekend getaway with our buddy. We're going to the cabin. his but my favorite place in the world. His buddy's like, damn, I know my wife is here or whatever, but your girlfriend is so fucking hot, dude. Like, she is just, I would just want to rail her.
00:48:46
Speaker
And it's like, that's a totally normal, nice conversation to have with your friend. Sure, why not? Well, she's that beautiful, Kit. Oh, right. his In front of his wife, come in his pants looking at another woman.
00:49:01
Speaker
Let's get into the being the worst house guest imaginable. God, the number of things. All right. Yeah. It's bad, Kit. It's bad. This is bad. They've said they love each other, so everything goes now.
00:49:13
Speaker
I can tell from the sex. That's love sex. That's boring love sex. was Before, was it more exciting? It was boring love sex the whole movie. These people have been in love since the dawn of time. This is one of those like two spirits finally met in Santa Monica. I think it may just be that every man that meets her falls in love with her and therefore has boring sex with her.
00:49:40
Speaker
So they're like, two hours, barbecue, be there. And they're like, cool, we got two hours. What should we do? They go down to his friend's hot tub. Yep. Which is not hidden.
00:49:51
Speaker
Very, very visible to the home. Maybe 10 feet from it. Yep. Get naked and start getting busy. yep
00:50:01
Speaker
Yep. Why? like Why? It's daytime. it is daytime. You didn't wait for them to go to bed and you're like, ooh, let's sneak out and go to the hot tub after the other couple's gone to bed.
00:50:13
Speaker
no. no Because when they go to bed... They want to che fuck in the living The couple hadn't even closed the door yet from leaving.
00:50:23
Speaker
Oh, God, no, no. They were barely up the stairs. And those two were sucking tits and and fucking on a rug in front of the fire. I don't. And like the guy's like, hey, see you guys are out there in the hot tub. Let me come join you. He's like, bitch, you better put on your swimsuit.
00:50:41
Speaker
I don't want my boy seeing you. And she's like, why It's not a big deal. He's just your friend. Which I was thinking about it and I was like, I don't, I feel like my thing would be like not, I don't want people to see you naked so much as like, I don't want my friend to feel weird about the fact that you're just hanging out in his hot tub naked.
00:51:02
Speaker
And she's got a British accent. She's not like European in the sense that like all they do is nude beaches and you can just write it off as one of her many adorable French and eccentricities or whatever.
00:51:15
Speaker
Yeah, it was cover up as a sense of shame. Like, oh my God, we got carried away and in my friend's place. can't let anyone look at you because... It is wrong.
00:51:27
Speaker
You are mine. Those boobies are mine and no one else can see them unless we are on Santa Monica Pier. That is the one acceptable place. Sorry, Brad. You weren't standing on the sidewalk in front of Alfonso's when I ripped them from their sheath.
00:51:46
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Like what he's like, you need to cover up. In my mind, it was like a sense of shame, but no. So we cut immediately from that to them playing these board games.
00:51:58
Speaker
It has been so little time since our last super long sex scene and we're just all ready to the next one. It is yeah so boring. And the worst thing happens in this one, Kit.
00:52:11
Speaker
The worst thing. That they play checkers. and that's as good as he can do as far as games and rules. mean, sad That's so sad. it was sad. Sexy Scatagorius would have been way better.
00:52:26
Speaker
Yahtzee! yeah kid At one point, she licks up his body, but she starts right above his pelvis. He's so hairy.
00:52:39
Speaker
And you just, it is such a close up of her tongue just making its way through that forest pubes that it's just like, I felt sick.
00:52:52
Speaker
She's going to cough up a hairball. 100%. There's hair teeth. There's hair in the teeth. there's air in the teeth There is a piece of footage of her picking that out of her teeth somewhere. And that sucks.
00:53:03
Speaker
That sucks. As an actor. That's terrible. Once again, stunt bump. Give her another little bit of pay for doing her own stunt. Like, he couldn't have even been comfortable with that. the yeah Harry Hamlin. and when She has to lick my pubes?
00:53:17
Speaker
I don't want that. This movie. And then not only is Bro not mad about all the banging they did in his cabin loudly and without waiting for them to have finished leaving the room, but Bro gives him an unregistered handgun.
00:53:37
Speaker
He's like, don't worry, the serial number's scratched off.
00:53:43
Speaker
i Why do you have this? Why do you have this? His concern was not... He's like, don't worry, it's unregistered. Don't worry! I'm sorry, that makes me worry more. Why do you have this? What have you done with it already? What crimes is this gun already linked to?
00:54:02
Speaker
If this writer were better, we would have more side quests with this man and his wife. If this movie were better, yes.
00:54:12
Speaker
Why does he have that gun? And two, you know there was a side conversation that was like, I don't care who's out to kill them. If I have to clean Jiz out of my vacation home one more time, time I'm going to kill him myself. know how hard it would be to get out of like a bearskin rug? Come on now.
00:54:31
Speaker
It might even be illegal.
00:54:36
Speaker
Oh, Lord. So he gets home shots fired.
Themes of Control and Heroism
00:54:45
Speaker
Thank God put the gun in his briefcase along with one. And I mean, literally of paper.
00:54:51
Speaker
one sheet of paper There just as well been a sandwich and a milk in there. I died when I saw that lone piece of paper in there because once again, proving this man does not do a job. but Any speculation on what was on that paper?
00:55:10
Speaker
I want to guess that it was um
00:55:16
Speaker
like notes. He was pretending to take in a meeting, but it's actually just a bunch of doodles. Yeah.
00:55:25
Speaker
Because he thinks he can get away with not answering any questions or talking at the meeting if he looks like he's taking notes. But he's not. He's drawing dicks over and over again on his Over and again. Dicks just, like, humming on her boobies. Dicks coming pants.
00:55:40
Speaker
You know, dicks everywhere. ah Harry, could we get a ah look at your paper? I just saw the way you were moving your pencil, and ah is it isn't moving in any direction that should be making a letter. Yeah.
00:55:52
Speaker
Sometimes I draw a little diagram. i draw I draw a little sketch diagram to help me visualize information on business, business information. I am willing to show everybody, but before I slide this paper to the middle of the table, I want to remind everyone that I am on probation.
00:56:11
Speaker
Therefore, it does not matter if I have sexually harassed and created an ah and unsafe workplace environment for everyone in this room because I... Hem on probation.
00:56:24
Speaker
Immunity. i don't even have to be wearing pants right now if I don't want to be. But i love... den Uh, so yeah, his buddy is, you know, okay. Oh, right, right, right. shots fired. He shoots back.
00:56:40
Speaker
Uh, the cops show up and they're once again, like, I'm sorry, there's literally nothing we could do. And, ah his girl comes back from jogging and she's like, what did happen? What did I miss? Oh my God. He's now, he's the one saying, you can't leave the house. You can't answer the phone. You can't answer the door.
00:56:56
Speaker
And it's like, aha, I see. So in my mind, this movie was going to end, her passing off to one of his friends, to like his friend, maybe a note that said, save me me because he is clearly becoming controlling just like her ex boyfriend was super controlling. And it's clear that like, she's so crazy. She make them crazy.
00:57:19
Speaker
It's the ring. It is like the ring. Yeah. You just got to pass her on seven days, whatever. Otherwise, or or it's like, it follows. You got to give it to someone else.
00:57:30
Speaker
Well, that's why gotta have your pocket rubber. That's why you gotta to have your pocket rubber. So, uh, his buddy finds out that, um, it is in fact his business rival, Robbins, who lost the psychologist money, and also, the psychologist hasn't had a license in, like, three years, so the idea of the fact that, like, he's holding her mom hostage makes no sense, because he doesn't have a clinic for mom to be held hostage at.
00:58:00
Speaker
And... Also, um he's finally gets fired and then he's like, ha ha, just learned this stuff about you fucking up this account and I'm going to tell the big boss in the SEC. So like, go fuck yourself. I'm going to continue not doing any work.
00:58:17
Speaker
That is really great, though, like that. the The slimy boss is like, how could a girl like Ali let a guy like you touch her is beyond me. Get out of here before I kick your ass.
00:58:30
Speaker
And he is shorter than him, so him being like, I'm going to kick your ass is pretty funny. Neither of them really look like they're going to kick anyone's ass. He forgot about the immunity, though, and then gets slammed into the wall.
00:58:41
Speaker
forgot about the That star power hadn't burned up yet, baby. There's just enough left to slam that little bitch into the wall. Yeah, and we get, like, another shot of a crazy driver. There's too many goddamn crazy drivers here, and she shows That's just a regular asshole. It was a regular asshole, it turns out.
00:58:58
Speaker
And, like, he starts pestering her with questions about, like, what's this about your mom? What's this about ah him holding your mom hostage? That doesn't make any sense. And she... He's being super evasive. She's not answering his questions. She's like, you're being super weird and controlling. Stop asking me so many questions.
00:59:13
Speaker
And next thing you know, he has lost his damn mind and he is grabbing her and shaking her like in a way, like the videos you see when they're like, don't shake a baby. That is how he is shaking her.
00:59:25
Speaker
Let's say at first, though, he's asking a lot of valid questions. A hundred percent. Because things are seeming a little fishy. Yes, but he has no... Listen, it would take a lot of work for him to try to like actually ask her the questions in a way in which she would give him answers. And he is a fundamentally lazy man. So he would rather try to shake the answers out of her like she's a magic eight ball instead of actually waiting for her to explain herself.
00:59:56
Speaker
Outlook not good,
Audience Interaction and Reflections
00:59:57
Speaker
sir. Outlook not yeah Try again later. What happens after he shakes her escalates so far beyond where my brain thought this was going to go that this seemed like an accident that they shot this scene.
01:00:13
Speaker
Well, you think that this was just something that happened between the two actors and they accidentally kept the camera rolling, in which case a crime has been committed, sir? I think it was in the script as a placeholder.
01:00:26
Speaker
and they're like, this is not going to be the scene. But it's something like this. It was the wrong choice. It was a bad choice, especially if you're trying to make this guy out to be the hero of the story. He's still supposed to be the good guy after this scene. don't understand it. He rips her shirt off and he does something to her that is super rapey. Like no one takes the girl.
01:00:52
Speaker
don't know how his pants are on. Did he finger rape Oh, his pants were on. I thought he was regular raping. No, i think he did though. Cause he had her dress up and her ass was out. Yeah. With his hand, his hand was going up there. I think he finger raped her I think it was just bad cinematography and direction. And it was intended to be,
01:01:16
Speaker
Either way, then cries about it, and she's like holding his head, comforting him, and you're just like, what the shit is this movie doing? think she's right.
01:01:28
Speaker
does need to be shot. When she said, you're handsome, you need to be shot, she was on to something. He's a bad man. He cries and apologizes. She pats his head and then tries to put her tits away into her broken shirt.
01:01:41
Speaker
Yeah. They can't go back in there. now the shirt's ruined. It's gone. He Hulk Hogan did open yeah in the stairwell. Yeah, which, by the way, yet another thing that this man has done at work that ah when he should be, in fact, working.
01:01:57
Speaker
Probation. no Probation. Super secret, double secret probation immunity. He's pushing it right to the edge, though. this is This is bad. This is about as bad as it gets.
01:02:10
Speaker
It's on company property on the clock. So he's like, but we get the car chase and then we get another car chase, another crazy driving thing.
01:02:22
Speaker
And so we're shooting at him and he shoots back in the middle of the dang highway. Like he's a cop or, or or like this is some kind of a fast and furious movie, or he thinks that he is in a gang and this is like a gang shootout or something. It is so ridiculous that he is firing a handgun out of a moving vehicle.
01:02:47
Speaker
It looks ridiculous. And of course, cars are wrecking. People are hurt. Children are probably injured at this point. yes He has caused chaos in the streets.
01:02:58
Speaker
Yes. And he is the good guy. He has just raped a woman. Yes. And he is fired wildly into traffic. Into traffic, yeah.
01:03:08
Speaker
And this is this is our hero, ladies and gents. The gun didn't have serial numbers. Yeah, thank God. Is that count for anything? I think that makes it better, actually, yeah. ah So he comes home and she's crying and like just got out of the shower and she's like, he threatened to kill my mom and he completely forgets that it makes no sense that her mom would even be there and that he has all these questions about like, but how what do you mean your mom is there? What do you mean?
01:03:39
Speaker
Like he doesn't ask any of it. He's just like, well, I guess I got to go kill this guy for you, huh? She's like, yeah, you do. Here's where the key is and here's where he keeps a gun. Please go kill him for me. Thank you.
01:03:51
Speaker
The next scene. So he just goes over. He's going to do it. Yeah. He's going kill this guy. This scene is so frustrating. Yes. Because Michael Ironside just needs to talk fast and precisely. Yes.
01:04:07
Speaker
Instead of. walking slowly down the steps. Oh, don't put the gun at me. I think you'll realize I'm unarmed. There's no. Planning on killing me, Mr. Stevens. I assure you that won't be necessary.
01:04:23
Speaker
Don't be James Bond villain coy right now, bitch. He has the biggest handgun I've ever seen pointed at you. Yes. Just be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop.
01:04:34
Speaker
There's a misunderstanding. This girl's crazy. She is manipulating you. She manipulated me. She's crazy. Her mom is already dead. Her mom's been dead. He takes so long to come out with that information.
01:04:44
Speaker
You know what he could have said way back when um they met in the conference room? When one had a gun? When no one had a gun. And he's like, you're keeping her mom hostage. And he's like, so that's what she told you, eh?
01:04:58
Speaker
You know what you could say to that? Her mom's dead. Look it up.
01:05:02
Speaker
That's all you have to say. Her mom's dead. I don't look things up unless my friend does it for me. Well, have your friend look it up then. God. And that wouldn't even be a HIPAA violation because death records are public information.
01:05:17
Speaker
I'm on probation. i don't have to do shit. No, we we go and we finally violate HIPAA to the fullest extent.
01:05:28
Speaker
She's paranoid schizophrenic and her mom died when she was eight and her daddy violated her and that's why she hates men. Fair. Yeah, fair.
01:05:39
Speaker
And he's been bad to her now.
01:05:43
Speaker
main And main dude hears all this information is like, oh shit, this is all super bad. Sees Michael reaching for a cigarette and shoots him in the arm. That is how trigger happy our hero is.
01:05:56
Speaker
He shoots this dude in the arm after hearing the information that the woman is is the one who has been lying to him the whole time. Does smoking offend you that much, Mr. Stevens? Yeah, that was a...
01:06:10
Speaker
Jesus Christ, why does he have to talk like this? Also, the fact that after ah our guy goes to looking for a first aid kit, he sits down and he's like, what should I drink? He's talking to himself.
01:06:24
Speaker
Bourbon. Bourbon is a man's drink. It's like, is this how this man is insufferable? Mr. Stevens, before you go get me a bandaid, would you mind lighting my ciggy treat as I only have one arm
01:06:43
Speaker
so while he's off getting a first aid kit to fix the fact that he shot this dude in the arm someone else a mysterious intruder pops in and shoots the dude three more times for real cops show up useless use she useless Useless, useless, useless. He's getting calls from a man in a Russian accent saying, like, I know what you did last summer. 100%. That's it.
01:07:06
Speaker
That's the next 10 minutes of this fucking movie. Meet me at the warehouse. Also, I have your girlfriend. Ooh.
01:07:17
Speaker
Uh, and so he goes to the warehouse at first. He threatens a perfectly innocent old homeless man. Yeah. Um, ah which by the way, that man, you think it's just like a fake out. Like, Oh, he thinks this is the guy and turns out the guy was behind him. No, that hobo is there for a very good reason.
01:07:36
Speaker
And I say hobo because he does look like he should be riding a train in the 19th. Yeah. He was in Pee Wee's big adventure for sure. yeah um They get into a big fist fight and at one point, I don't remember well which one, but one of them goes rolling on top of him in the fight. the hobo? It's phenomenal.
01:07:54
Speaker
um That's hilarious. i don't i I didn't clock that. for the It's funny though, because when he does encounter the hobo, he pulls the gun on him and says, party's over, asshole. He practices that in the car on the whole ride.
01:08:09
Speaker
A hundred percent he did. You know he did and he thought it was so I wasted my one-liner on you. ah oh and it turns out the guy was behind me the whole time so I don't even get to use it again. ah it's my sniveling little shitty boss.
01:08:27
Speaker
Oh, yeah, it's Robbins. It's the shitty boss rival guy. says killer line. And he's like... Like when they're like going back and forth and basically we find out that the same thing is happening to Robbins that happened to Stevens.
01:08:43
Speaker
You know, it sounds like she slipped him a note, a save me note at some point. But as he's like going to shoot, ah Harry Hamlin, he says, I'm going to go home and take a shower and fuck your girl.
01:08:59
Speaker
Yeah, it's great villainy. ah And clearly Robin's story is confused because he's like, Ellie told me that you got you and and the psychologist, you and Michael Ironsides are working together and you're going to get me ah investigated by the SEC and take my job.
01:09:17
Speaker
And also Ellie told me that you killed him. So I know that you killed him. and It's like, wait, why would he do that if they were working together to steal your job? Dude, are you listening to yourself?
01:09:30
Speaker
Do you like did you notice that when his boss had to dress in cool villain clothes, he was wearing the exact same outfit as Steven's?
01:09:42
Speaker
cowboy boots, jeans, leather jacket, where he's just like, that's the only thing knows. This the cool guy outfit. And finally I shall be cool too. Yep. And when we get a way too long fist fight scene. my God. It is, it is as intimate as the sex scene. It is just won't stop. Possibly more so because these guys have more of a history together. If you think about it. That's true.
01:10:05
Speaker
That's true. They, this was, they both came instantly. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And so he defeats ah his rival and ah he's like, whatever, she's at my house and I didn't kidnap her. She wants to be there because she doesn't like you. You are a loser. And he's like, whatever. And he's like, go to my house. Go see her. She's there.
01:10:29
Speaker
Let's see how she's there. And so he does. So, yeah, he's talking to her and ah finally dawns on him that she really is the one who was behind it all.
01:10:40
Speaker
And she says that every man just wants to control her. And that's why she wants to kill them all. And I'm kind of like, yeah, She's got a point. Maybe she's got a point.
01:10:51
Speaker
She's got bit of a point. Um, there's a great shot of her, like, putting, pulling the gun on him. um and she says, like, but I did love fucking you And then she, like, click, oh, the gun's empty. clicks over over. And she just keeps clicking over and over and over. And it's actually quite good.
01:11:13
Speaker
um And then he's like, I took the bullets out because I didn't trust you. And she's like, well, I've got a little prostitute gun in my purse. She's got a tiny gun in her own purse. And she even repeats the line, but I did love fucking you before she shoots him, which makes me think she has used this line before when killing a man. And I respect that. I respect having a catchphrase. She also practiced that before he got there. Like that was, ah yeah. Yeah.
01:11:40
Speaker
She's going to shoot him with the gun, the real gun with real bullets. And then, no, the cops bust in because he was wearing a wire the whole time because I guess he figured out on the way over that probably she was the one behind it all and needed to catch her.
01:11:58
Speaker
um Real good, like, final line, though, of the movie after the cops caught her and... The cops cuff her and one of the cops as he's like taking the wire off is like, hey man, shit happens.
01:12:11
Speaker
Which is the most hilarious thing you could say to someone who has been through what this man has been through. Like he was being framed for murder multiple times and then almost shot by the woman he was in love with.
01:12:23
Speaker
And the guy's like, hey man, shit happens. But yeah, they start to push her down into the cop car. Cops starts to push her head in and she looks up and says, save me, save me, save me.
01:12:39
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Giving the big doe eyes. It's, uh, yeah.
01:12:50
Speaker
Garrett, is this movie trying to tell us that, like, if men are controlling, it's a crazy woman's fault. Or am I genuinely supposed to be like, yeah, no, those men were all bad. They all did bad things. And she was right to want to murder them.
01:13:07
Speaker
It's not. Or like, are they all bad? It's like, she's crazy, but they're terrible. What am I supposed to take from this? think all men are bad. I think that's the takeaway.
01:13:18
Speaker
And I don't think that's the message it's trying to send me, but that's the message that came. and by the end, I agreed with it. But here's the thing is like she's clearly trying to make them more overprotective of her when she does things like try to murder them by pretending like being a a crazy ah driver trying to run someone over in a parking lot. Like that encourages them to be like, you need to stay inside. You need to stay safe. I want to take care of you.
01:13:47
Speaker
And honestly, when you open up meeting a man with save me, some of those overprotective instincts are probably baked into the relationships. So like signals, some of this is mixed signals from her.
01:14:01
Speaker
But on the other hand, um nothing she did ah in any way justifies what he did to her in the stairwell.
01:14:11
Speaker
At that point. Yeah, nothing, nothing made that okay. He was already the villain to me before that point for just being a dickhead.
01:14:23
Speaker
But once we hit that, it's he's full the bad guy. But I'm still following him. And this is being presented to me that he's my hero. He's my handsome knight. Yeah, and I'm supposed to be breathing sigh of relief that the crazy lady is getting put into jail when clearly she just needs actual help from an actual psychologist, the weirdo. Not Dr. Loomis.
01:14:48
Speaker
Yeah, not the guy who's like, oh, I treat her within my own home, even though I don't have a medical license anymore. Like, maybe she needs real help. She's got a point.
01:15:00
Speaker
Every man I've seen her interact with is the worst. Except the yes the friend who's like a little weird about her, but that's just part of her powers. Yeah.
01:15:12
Speaker
Given a chance, given a chance, he would have dumped his wife in a heartbeat for her. He basically said as much. Come on. I think this woman may be, and here, go with me on this theory, maybe she is not human.
01:15:29
Speaker
She is some kind of like siren or other or succubus, some kind of mythological creature. And she does not know this about herself. All she knows is that she's irresistible to men. And then they try to possess and control her.
01:15:45
Speaker
And then she wants to kill them because they're trying to constrict her freedom. Like she doesn't know that she's driving them insane because she is ah ghoul. I could tell we were headed towards you calling ghoul finally.
01:15:58
Speaker
Thank you. Thank you for getting it on my wavelength when you watch these movies. You're welcome. I'm finally here because there's nothing about her physically that immediately you're like, hot damn, that woman is the woman that I will ruin my life for. But all these men want to ruin their lives. The second they, their lives, the second they lay eyes her. The species ghoul, would have immediately.
01:16:22
Speaker
immediately Yeah, a hundred percent. Species? That woman was... and Bonkers. you I don't want to like knock this lady. She was in Dracula dead and loving it. I believe that's the only other movie we've really seen her in perfectly.
01:16:39
Speaker
She's pretty lady. She's beautiful. But the way men act around her is like they have been shot with ketamine or something like they are acting really weird as soon as they see her, which implies that she is not quite human.
01:16:57
Speaker
She is a little otherworldly. I like that you're going like mythical with it, though. like That it could be a... Yeah. her I think you're onto something. don't have anything to add it. Honestly, if her dad is Zeus, a lot of things would make sense about her dad.
01:17:17
Speaker
Dad's bad person. Zeus?
Humorous Critiques and Movie's Arousal Factor
01:17:20
Speaker
Terrible. Which one was it that like did the dick chop off and threw it in the lake and then... like
01:17:27
Speaker
Where does that come from? Lorena Bobbitt? Yeah, yeah. yeah i have no I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking about mythology. That was not mythology. That's just a lady who cut her husband's dick off. there is a dick one. A dick in a lake.
01:17:40
Speaker
And it grows like a person. I love that idea. Something happened with a dick in a lake. I was really bad in mythology class because it was nonsense.
01:17:53
Speaker
It's like dick in a box, but it's in a whole ass lake. yeah kind of and and And on that note, ah Garrett, I think we can go ahead and start with, were you aroused? Scale one to five.
01:18:07
Speaker
I really thought this movie was leading to some serious arousal. When we got to the weird twin bed and like we're peeping in on the the secret room, the secret room with the one way changing mirror.
01:18:21
Speaker
My nightmare, by the way, oh of a changing room. Oh, my God. Terrifying to think about. I hate the idea of being on the other side of it. But like if some lady is going to like jerk me off on a twin bed while that happens, like there is a piece of me that's like, I see the appeal.
01:18:41
Speaker
Like the part of me that's like, this is crime would absolutely never
Criticism of Sexual Content and Plot Holes
01:18:45
Speaker
do it. And you've heard from my past sexual experiences on this podcast that I would never find myself in that room to begin with.
01:18:55
Speaker
No, you would follow her because you would think that, like, because she was like, come with me. And you're like, I guess so. Like, is are we looking at some cool, is there going to be some, like... you know, some wrestling merch in the back, like where we gone.
01:19:09
Speaker
And, and you'd follow her and you'd be like, why is there this room with just a sewing machine, ah twin bed and a curtain. And then she would show you what's behind the curtain.
01:19:22
Speaker
And you would not, it would not occur to you that she was showing you this in order to arouse you. You would just be like, well, that's weird. wasn't expecting that. So, um,
01:19:34
Speaker
You want to see what's playing at the the Cineplex later? and maybe we...
01:19:41
Speaker
But with that, you definitely think this movie's going to be a lot more... risque that's right is that what i'm looking for a lot more like provocative than it is because it is a lot of just missionary sex honestly the lady changing is the best thing happens you're not wrong which is sad the other thing that i'm supposed to find out is her licking his pubes get out um get out of here Get out, you get Maybe this is why his wife is leaving him is because sex with him is so is so dull.
01:20:20
Speaker
Entirely possible. It could be that he's an asshole and she can tell he's on the cusp of being fired. Yeah, that is also the possibility that she's like, I don't think this man does any real work and we're going to lose our house. She's like, honey, it's a 30 day probation. You don't understand.
01:20:40
Speaker
I don't think you understand.
01:20:44
Speaker
This is our son's. but Our son goes to private school. He's wearing a little boy uniform with a little badge on it. That is expensive. And he is about to get fired. Okay, so. Here we go.
01:20:57
Speaker
This movie really likes to just be like, see, nothing bad can happen because of this. We start with 30 day probation. He thinks that immunity. We also have to pretend like the firearm he has being unregistered makes it safer for him to have.
Evaluation of Writing and Thrill Factor
01:21:15
Speaker
Yes, as though that's not an even, like, when he explained this to the cops, did he say, like, well, my buddy gave me an unregistered firearm and I fired it on the highway because a man was shooting at me. But now I think that man was actually my girlfriend who was framing me for her ex's murder.
01:21:34
Speaker
And they were like, uh-huh. Can we confirm that this movie wasn't written by a chimp that just learned sign language? Yeah.
01:21:45
Speaker
No, we can't. There is no way to confirm that. Well, then in that case, it gets a two for erotic.
01:21:55
Speaker
I think a two is fair, to be honest. Like, they keep giving you boobs. If you're looking for some boobies, they're going to get them. They're there in butts. And butts. And actually, Bush.
01:22:08
Speaker
you kind of You actually get the whole human anatomy except for Harry Hamlin's dong. But you see his very tan is very not tan behind, and he's willing to show is so tan.
01:22:20
Speaker
he' is so tan, and that that ass is so lily white. It's beautiful. ah Yeah, all right, Garrett, scale of one to five, were you thrilled?
01:22:34
Speaker
Hmm.
01:22:38
Speaker
I mean, that stuntman really put his body on the line. Mm-hmm. hu throwing his body sideways into that car, almost getting struck by that vehicle.
01:22:50
Speaker
i can't say I was surprised by the twist of this movie because... No. It was really obvious. like They were not trying that hard.
01:23:03
Speaker
like When she shows up after having been jogging at right after someone opened fire on his home, it's like, what's going on? It's like, you you shot him.
01:23:15
Speaker
I like, though, during the gunfire that they do things like showing his water bottles, like the water jugs for his home, getting shot like an Old West saloon or like one of those games where you have to shoot the little target to make a thing move and ah in a little set.
01:23:35
Speaker
I don't know. There were moments like the car chase is pretty good. It's dumb. It's very, but it's a car chase. The stunt man's doing good work.
01:23:46
Speaker
I mean, I'm never like worried about anybody though. So I mean, once again, I feel like a two is fair, but I feel like the stunt man does deserve a little more credit for how hard he went in that one scene.
01:23:59
Speaker
Obviously, but overall, i would say ah two seems pretty fair because um i mean, the amount of anxiety that I was feeling while Michael Ironside was talking and not talking fast enough was so true powerful.
Character Dialogue and Mythical Allure
01:24:18
Speaker
I really wanted him to get to the goddamn point already. He did not have to get shot. Like, that was all on him. he'd talked faster. If he'd talked faster and gotten to the point and used, like, direct language instead of talking in circles around things. You don't have to be a fancy British guy all the time.
01:24:39
Speaker
You don't. um You could just say the thing. He's dead because he's too fancy and British. If that guy had been from New Jersey, he'd still be alive. Yeah.
01:24:51
Speaker
You're not wrong, though. Because that guy would have been like, hey, she crazy. Hey, that bitch is crazy. Don't shoot me. She's fucking this guy. She's fucking this guy. I'm just trying to get a good. She's not like, hey, she's fucking dead.
01:25:03
Speaker
No, you're right. That's that's a specific kind of thrill that we have not received in any of the movies where the person's too smart for their own good and has to do a slow saunter down the stairs. Smart. Marmy voice to be like really drawing it out and making sure that you feel small and petty when it's like your life is on the line, sir. Someone's holding a gun at you. Stop being sarcastic and just get to the point. Also, were you fucking her too? You sick bitch.
01:25:38
Speaker
A hundred percent he was fucking her. There is not a single in all the wide multiverses, Garrett, of infinite chances. There are none where he did not have sex with her.
01:25:50
Speaker
There's none. This is like so many of the movies we've watched where she is a siren. They have no choice. Like if they want to sleep with you, it's just going to happen.
01:26:02
Speaker
hmm. Even if it means losing your license to practice in the state and you decide, I'll just keep her in my house full time as a sort of pet slash experiment?
01:26:16
Speaker
So is she just moving her way down the coast, leaving a wake of men jobless? Yes. Yes, she is. Oh my God. They're either dead or jobless when she leaves.
01:26:29
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. cause
01:26:33
Speaker
Let's be honest, though. Our hero did not need her help to become jobless. He was well on his way, all on his own. He doesn't need an assist. Little did she know.
01:26:46
Speaker
yeah Useless. He was done for anyway. Where is he going to work next? After he has no wife and kid, and now he has to...
01:26:58
Speaker
i don't know Well, he's still on probation, Garrett, so he still has a couple more days to make the business sales for business. And he can't be fired during that time.
01:27:09
Speaker
going to be bad bartender somewhere, I think. Oh, my God. Insufferable bartender. Imagine someone comes in and someone's talking about, like, I've got a really bad day and the wife's really mad at me and he's like, let me tell you about a bad girlfriend.
Harry Hamlin's Character Portrayal
01:27:27
Speaker
I used to have job.
01:27:33
Speaker
Didn't we all, man?
01:27:37
Speaker
right. And last question. I think we know where this is going, but would you ruin your life for her? for For the gal or Harry Hamlin? For Ellie. Ellie? For Ellie. I i don't i don't want to.
01:27:53
Speaker
I don't want, but it turns out she is a mythical creature and you do not. It sucks if I don't have a choice because I'd like free will on this one to say, I don't want to. It's like I have a wife and kids and it seems like I want to be back with my wife. I have my sad Canadian tuxedo.
01:28:11
Speaker
And if I work on myself, I can get them back. He's not going to work on himself. He doesn't work. Garrett. Come on. That was the key word. Yeah. Yeah. You can't do it.
01:28:24
Speaker
This is why he doesn't know why he's getting divorced. It would be too much work to find out. As a man with free will, I would like to not. But if I don't have a choice, then I mean, it she you know, Dr. Loomis is dead and there's just a fuck machine on the roof.
01:28:44
Speaker
I hope my family is The answer is no. I don't want to. The answer is no. I'm going to assume that there's some sort of pheromone kind of thing that we're missing. And that's why we, on the other side of a screen, can't feel whatever they're feeling when they look at her. She might just smell really good.
Light-hearted Fantasy and Podcast Promotion
01:28:59
Speaker
She just smells like warm apple pie. And do you think Harry Hamlin's like a sexy dude in this one? No, it sucks because he is now. he He is now, but I don't know Maybe he was going through just an awkward phase or maybe it's just because he gives off such sad divorce dad energy and that he's just really unfuckable. But it really does. It's so early that he doesn't have fun at the monster truck show that you're just like, I can't do anything with him.
01:29:28
Speaker
Like, I don't want to to have a beer with him, let alone give him a hand job. Absolutely. Like, I know you're going through a lot of shit, man. What with the divorce and then your kid moving out and put the pocket. Like if you can't in your pocket put it, just, just, just have fun at a monster truck rally. It's not, it's not hard to do.
01:29:49
Speaker
don't look with disdain on those of us who are having fun at the monster truck rally. Like somehow you're morally superior to the rest of us. Mm hmm.
01:30:03
Speaker
monster truck girl though we're gonna 69 and a four tours it's happening after the show i've also had a couple beers we can't even drive it is a sober up 69 in that back seat and honestly as i'm sitting there on my face like oh i'm in love
01:30:28
Speaker
And you know what? You wouldn't have scratchy stubble to ruin her time. Because I'm a gentleman. Or I would just, I would keep the beard or no beard. There's no in between. Beard or no beard, no in between. He says, scratching at his stubble. I'm like, is it too much for her right now? I don't want to.
01:30:44
Speaker
Let me see. For the monster truck girl, got to make sure it's just the right. Grave diggers in town.
01:30:54
Speaker
Oh, bless. So, uh, uh, Monster Truck Girl, uh, you should write to us, uh, at a Rattachiller Club. Garrett will take you out for a nice ice cream sundae.
01:31:06
Speaker
Super lactose intolerant, Kit. That was very inconsiderate. No one wants to 69 after that. Um... Well, she can have the ice cream sundae and you can have a, uh, something else. Thank goodness I'm on the bottom, hopefully.
01:31:22
Speaker
Uh, it's... Hey, everybody. i will say I think this is a perfectly fine movie to watch. I'm happy I've seen it like it was the decisions made were baffling. Harry Hamlin's character is so awful.
01:31:39
Speaker
A bad, bad man. But it is very fun to make fun of. And if you took a shot every time that man left work early, you might have alcohol poisoning. Yeah. Yeah.
01:31:50
Speaker
Erotic thriller club at gmail.com questions, comments, concerns. Want them throughout a recommendation. Thanks again, Cam, for your recommendation. Honestly, we're probably going to grab some more off your list eventually. And we'll shout you out if we do.
01:32:03
Speaker
ah We should even hop on their podcast. They invited us on. They want us to come on. We can go talk movies somewhere else. What would be doing anyway? It's true. It's what we like to do.
01:32:14
Speaker
So please rate, review, subscribe, whatever. Tell your friends. We love to hear from everybody. if you have recommendations that you want to pass along, we love to hear them.
01:32:25
Speaker
As always, thank you for listening. We love you. Wet your snails. We want to shake you naked and eat you alive. Come to a monster truck show with us.