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Unfaithful (2002)
78 Plays2 months ago
This week we're jumping back into the work of Adrian Lyne! Does it count as cheating if it was an act of God? Is this the greatest McDonald's commercial ever? How book horny is Kit? Join the club and find out the answers as we discuss this beautiful Richard Gere/Diane Lane film.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Erotic Thriller Club
00:00:00
Speaker
Ladies, gentlemen, folks beyond the binary, grab your husband, wife, partner, mistress, a first edition copy of Making Marriage Work for Dummies and gather around your radio.
00:00:11
Speaker
It's time for this week's meeting of The Erotic Thriller Club.
00:01:07
Speaker
Your husband's a doof and your Malcolm in the Middle son pisses on the toilet seat. This isn't how you wanted life to go. What can you do? The only solution is... Say it with me, folks.
00:01:21
Speaker
F that Frenchman!
Focus on the Film 'Unfaithful'
00:01:25
Speaker
This week on the Erotic Thriller Club... Unfaithful. Hey, everybody. Welcome to this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club.
00:01:33
Speaker
As always, Garrett Callender and Kit Ryan here.
Key Questions for Erotic Thrillers
00:01:37
Speaker
And this is where we answered the genre's three most important questions. Was I aroused? Was I thrilled?
00:01:44
Speaker
And would I ruin my life for that French man?
Exploration of Adrian Lyne's Work
00:01:49
Speaker
Oh, Kit, we've dipped our toe in the Adrian line, well, for the final time?
Diane Lane's Performance in 'Unfaithful'
00:01:58
Speaker
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Oh! yes I mean, there's technically two more, but this is really the, we have Indecent Proposal and Lolita, but are those, they're still erotic.
00:02:14
Speaker
We can want, there's erotic movies to watch, but this is the last of the the true thrills. ah
00:02:24
Speaker
Sad. yeah Sad. Sad. Yeah. so and There was, there'll never be another like it, you know? He's still alive. i mean, fill out he's still going to make some more, and which case it's not the final one, which case we can hold out hope.
00:02:41
Speaker
Deep water. Wasn't that long ago? i feel like, especially with stuff going straight to streaming, maybe he wants to do another one. i don't care if he makes five more and they go to Hulu.
00:02:52
Speaker
Give me more Adrian. but Be kind to your actors.
00:02:59
Speaker
He's. So this movie is a little confusing
Opening Scene & Symbolism
00:03:04
Speaker
when you look at the score on and Rotten Tomatoes versus the accolades.
00:03:11
Speaker
I did not look ah at that. So please do tell. So 50% on Rotten Tomatoes. So this movie, very split on how people feel about it.
00:03:22
Speaker
However... No one was really split on Diane Lane. She was nominated for every possible award she could have been nominated for this film. You know I think she well deserved it that That scene on the train alone is worth an Academy Award.
00:03:39
Speaker
For sure. That's why I wanted to preface she was nominated for things before we start.
Richard Gere's Character Analysis
00:03:47
Speaker
Okay. Because the start of this movie is stupid.
00:03:53
Speaker
Yeah. and yeah And definitely plays into that 50%. But her performance does get better. Yes. Enough so that she was nominated for things.
00:04:06
Speaker
Yeah, you know what? Like like her character, Diane Lane, the actor, ah really really blossoms when she starts fucking a Frenchman.
00:04:17
Speaker
this...
Pivotal Meeting with the Frenchman
00:04:21
Speaker
see this I think it's funny that Richard Gere took this part. Cause this is kind of the same thing is Antonio Banderas and, um, and baby girl where it's just like, you are not prepared. Like, cause in your mind, you're like, why would you cheat on Richard Gere?
00:04:39
Speaker
Richard Gere's a handsome fella. Like he was the, yes theist fella he was the king of these kinds of movies for a while. You know, just being the handsome guy that you want to bone. Absolutely. yeah mean, he the I can't stop thinking about him in Pretty Woman, right? Like he is the goal. He is endgame.
00:04:59
Speaker
and And instead, we're throwing Richard Muir to the side for some French book dealer. Very quickly, though, you're like, oh, oh, don't know.
00:05:11
Speaker
I don't want to fuck him.
00:05:17
Speaker
Garrett, you don't want to have sex with Richard Gere. Not this version. I mean, literally the the moment we meet him, she your shirt's on backwards. And he's like oh.
00:05:28
Speaker
And then he's complaining about the stock market and Dewey from Malcolm in the Middles doing armpit farts. Yeah, they have a cute little boring life and he's whining about the stock market ah even though they're clearly already very wealthy.
00:05:46
Speaker
And yeah, he seems like kind of a kind of obnoxious. like I can see that to live with. Do you understand his job? i love I love this. My favorite thing about all of our erotic thrillers is what's the man's job?
00:06:01
Speaker
I couldn't figure out what her deal was. He is, I think he does armored trucks. Are you serious? Is that what
Frenchman's Apartment & Visual Metaphors
00:06:10
Speaker
that was? Is that that not what you got from it?
00:06:12
Speaker
What did you think he did? I don't know. They made it seem like he was important, but then when we see him, he's just like in an auto shop, but everybody's like wearing suits, but he's just in like a regular garage, something with vehicles.
00:06:26
Speaker
The guy he fires, he says ah that I heard you were getting talked to by Brinks. And then there was something about a fleet of trucks.
00:06:37
Speaker
And then the so yes, I, and he, he was like holding one at his, at his office, like a little tiny truck. And it looked kind of maybe like it could be an armored truck. So yeah, I think he does the trucks that pick up the money from the banks.
00:06:52
Speaker
I think that was actually a conversation, a candid conversation that wasn't meant to be in the movie of that actor being like, man, for you to play such an unfuckable character in a movie, they really must have backed the brink struck up to your house.
00:07:11
Speaker
Yes. I loved the first part of this movie. All of my notes are just like, ooh, your shirt's on on Inside Out. Gross. Better fuck a Frenchman. Dewey from Malcolm in the Middles, armpit farting. Better fuck a Frenchman.
00:07:26
Speaker
He pissed on the toilet seat. Fuck that Frenchman. Get the Frenchman. Get the Frenchman. Zutalor. Let's go fuck a Frenchman.
00:07:38
Speaker
ah Yeah, the thing is, the opening shots of this movie are of sad piano music and then wind. And that was a weird choice.
00:07:50
Speaker
Well, the first line of the entire film, which is going to get me to our favorite scene, is it's pretty windy out.
00:07:59
Speaker
Literally the first line of the film. And yeah, you you get the sad piano music. You got a lonely boat floating in the water. A bike falls over.
00:08:11
Speaker
That is the movie summed up. I love, but this might be my favorite opening title. The word faithful, then un, then it all turns red.
00:08:25
Speaker
dramatic.
00:08:29
Speaker
ah So it comes up, you're like I think I'm in the wrong movie. un ah i mean, I am here. oh yeah im
Humor and Serious Themes in 'Unfaithful'
00:08:34
Speaker
yeah um I don't know how to feel about anything anymore. Oh man. Is they're just getting ready. You're seeing that she's just a mom living mom life with a doofy husband, kids armpit farting gear, takes the kid to school and then looks at her through window and then gives her an armpit fart. And I'm like, Oh my God, girl, that Frenchman get that baguette baby. Yeah.
00:09:06
Speaker
Put that baguette in your croissant.
00:09:10
Speaker
Adrian Lyne is the reason we have the phrase meat and fire district. yeah Oh, you're right. Yeah, yeah. This is not the meat and fire district this time, though.
00:09:22
Speaker
Frenchman does not live in the meat and fire district. He lives in the hurricane district. Yeah.
00:09:31
Speaker
It is so windy that she's being assaulted by balloon zebras and packing peanuts and um and newspapers.
00:09:41
Speaker
And it's like, I guess this is a metaphor, but I don't know for what, but that woman just got nailed in the face by a balloon zebra. I wish i could. This is, I now have a new answer for years. Like my answer to if you could be in any movie scene there when they shot it,
Cinematography and Emotional Tension
00:10:03
Speaker
what would it be? And forever, I was like the parade scene for Ferris Bueller's Day Off um just seemed like a great day um of being at um on a movie set.
00:10:11
Speaker
Mm-hmm. I wish I could have been there for the wind scene and unfaithful new answer. Hands down. i wish I could have thrown the zebra at her. I wish this version of New York is such a fairy tale that she is being, like you said, assaulted by wind and garbage.
00:10:34
Speaker
But what makes it fairy tale? The cleanest trash. Oh, 100%. Sparkling, white, untarnished garbage.
00:10:45
Speaker
Even the newspapers that are hitting her are definitely fresh, hot off the presses, brand new newspapers. ah The packing peanuts, those are fresh right out of the box.
00:10:58
Speaker
ah That zebra... He was a good zebra. He was clean. There was nothing that hits her that looks in any way uncouth or unclean.
00:11:09
Speaker
Oh, yeah. The PA had just opened him out of his plastic packaging, inflated him, and tossed him at Diane Lane's head.
00:11:18
Speaker
Like, Kit, is she is walking down the street. I swear to God, I wish... The wind has to be 100 an hour. she is... yeah blowing in circles as the wind undresses her and her reaction i am not joking folks watch this open it up it's in the first like five minutes of this movie she is going whoa whoa whoa so
00:11:48
Speaker
Can't keep her skirt from riding up. Can't can't keep her, you know, ah bag, her trash bag full of party supplies from blowing away, i guess is what it was.
00:12:03
Speaker
Kit, like the funniest thing, ah like a scene later, and we'll get back to this, but I just need to bring this up now, is when she does end up at home after everything that happens, that we'll discuss in a second, her son, Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle, describes the scene that we just talked about to Richard Gere and describes it exactly as it happens. He goes, Mom got stuck in a windstorm and she was like, Whoa, whoa,
Guilt, Temptation, and Societal Expectations
00:12:34
Speaker
whoa. And he's spinning circles. like, that's so accurate.
00:12:38
Speaker
He wasn't there, but somehow he knows exactly what it looked like. Same performance. Yet he was snubbed for an Oscar that year. So sad.
00:12:49
Speaker
Really true. Great loss. Let's get back to Hurricane Sandy over here.
00:12:56
Speaker
Hurricane Frenchman is what comes up next because we have our meet cute of ah you slam into a Frenchman in the middle of the street because of ah the wind brought you together.
00:13:11
Speaker
And, oh, he's carrying all these heavy leather-bound books. ah And, oh, now the books go flying and her party stuff goes flying.
00:13:22
Speaker
And they're each picking up each other's stuff... Zutalor. ah And they're all, ah she so she falls, she scrapes her her knees and, oh, well, why don't you come on in and and you can clean up my apartment just happens to be right here.
00:13:40
Speaker
She's so discombobulated. Like this whole time she's trying to hail a taxi. They smash parts, you know, and spill all their goods. She's trying to help pick up his stuff, but like still trying to hail a taxi. Like she's got a concussion and forgot what going to happen.
00:13:58
Speaker
Well, she is about to be late for a train. Okay. You're You're right. You're right. you're right though She has to catch the train back into the burbs, which I guess is like an hour in between trains or something.
00:14:13
Speaker
i don't know. So the wind blew them wildly and literally mashed their parts together. Won't the last time. Won't be the last. time won't be the last Do you consider, like, if you saw footage of your significant other and that sort of wind made them mash parts with somebody that attractive in public to where they it very innocently fell on top of each other. Mm-hmm.
00:14:40
Speaker
that seems like God's will. That's an act of God. I think that like, you know, that's kind of like an in an an insurance. That would be like an act of God thing. And I think that that is covered and in your under your marriage license.
00:14:56
Speaker
You know what? um I'm not married. ah I will be soon. And when I look at the the marriage license thing as I'm signing it, I'll check the fine print to see if there's anything about, you know, special clauses for uh, God ah slamming me into a sexy Frenchman.
00:15:14
Speaker
It's your parts just mashed through pants because of the wind. Well, her skirt was up from the wind. So like, it's not that, uh, big a leap.
00:15:25
Speaker
It's lovely legs on that Diane Lane. Beautiful, gorgeous, perfect legs.
00:15:32
Speaker
And so, uh, yeah, he's a sexy French book dealer. And, uh, ah Garrett, what did you make of the of the bat- of Okay, first of all, let's describe the his apartment because this apartment is
Character Motivations and Narrative Analysis
00:15:47
Speaker
too cute, but also piled with books.
00:15:54
Speaker
Like, they're everywhere. And he seems to know where all of them are and he says he doesn't actually live here. Like, it's not his place. He's borrowing his friend's place, but his name is on the doorbell, so i don't know what that means.
00:16:09
Speaker
He's been there a while. You're going to so put a little sticker so people know where. Because he's, obviously this dude's mashing in that apartment. Oh, like he's He's smashing a lot of ladies up there and he wants them to know, like, right apartment. You got it.
00:16:22
Speaker
You got it. It's the one with the flower pot. that's That's my place. come Come look at my books. a It is kind of a Mickey Rourke nine and a half weeks situation where he's like at someone else's house. Just handsome guy living at his friend's place. And he has filled this place to the brim with books.
00:16:43
Speaker
And ah his so Diane Lane goes into the bathroom and he's like, you can even look, you know, get some band-aids out of the medicine cabinet. I don't care if you look at my prescriptions. Like he's trying to be kind of flirty. The bathroom door doesn't fully work.
00:17:01
Speaker
And so she's she seems kind of nervous being in someone else's place. And she does open the medicine cabinet, and his pills fall into the toilet, which she then has to fish them out of the toilet, which...
00:17:15
Speaker
This is the first hint that there's gonna be a little bit of farcical shenanigans in this movie. That it doesn't pay off until much, much later when, you know, we're trying to hide a body and everything that could go wrong does go wrong.
00:17:34
Speaker
But this is your first hint that, like, while this may look like a ah you know, a serious drama about relationships, also, she's gonna have to fish some...
00:17:45
Speaker
some pills out of the toilet and pretend she wasn't snooping through this man's medicine cabinet.
00:17:52
Speaker
We've already had armpit farts and pissing on toilet seats. Like we're, it's true. Richard Gere has done an armpit fart in this movie already. Like, trust me, we're not beyond toilet humor.
00:18:06
Speaker
No, God, not at all. And then she does not wash her hands in between fishing thing out of toilet and touching her open wound. didn't even notice that.
00:18:17
Speaker
Not okay with it. I do trust that the Frenchman is clean. No, I don't. He has AIDS probably. He's smashing. Everyone.
00:18:28
Speaker
Absolutely everyone. That man is, is anything with a pulse. He will have sex with 100%. And, he's like, take a, take a book with you when you go. And she's like, Oh, i couldn't do that. And like, as far as sexy ways to, to, to lure someone in,
00:18:48
Speaker
Offering them a free, fancy old book is pretty cool. That's high up there. And so he he's like... Kit, you as a book dork, though, that is like, they hit your... You were like oh you like, you were moist when he offered her a book.
00:19:05
Speaker
C'est moi. ah S'il vous plaît. Donnez-moi un livre. Ha ha ha.
00:19:16
Speaker
S'il vous plaît. ah But yeah, it's it's pretty good. It's pretty high level ah flirtation. And he's like, grab the second shelf, ah first one on the left.
00:19:28
Speaker
And he's he like reads the passage along with it so he's got all the stuff memorized. And of course, here's the thing. This movie is an insult to Frenchmen. Of course it's a passage about wine.
Cultural Attitudes Towards Marriage
00:19:43
Speaker
Of course. Of course. Oh, I just blindly have you pick a book. And oh, no, it's about Wine how you should have sex with me.
00:19:56
Speaker
That the next scene, like, is, you know, her at home and Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle describing to Richard Gere what happened. He's like, oh, you should send him a bottle of wine. a Didn't even know he was French.
00:20:08
Speaker
Was he handsome? And she just gives him a look. Mm-hmm. She did bend up pretty good. She did. she She scraped the hell out of those knees. And they're scraped up for the rest of the movie.
00:20:22
Speaker
Like, those are lasting marks. It's a strong wind. Garrett, as a wrestling fan, were you delighted to see that the kid was watching wrestling when when she came home and he wasn't supposed to be supposed to be doing his homework?
00:20:37
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were watching some women's wrestling. I was trying to figure out who it was or when. i couldn't. ah But yeah, no, I appreciated that. You throw a little pro wrestling in a movie, you get my attention. But not they already had it.
00:20:51
Speaker
But you know this movie had a lot for me to enjoy, is what I'm saying. I liked this movie.
00:20:58
Speaker
And so ah dad has a new video camera, which I thought for sure was going to come back that this was Chekhov's video camera that was going to be used to to film sex or or to spy on something. No, it's just for this one scene so we can see.
00:21:13
Speaker
Him filming Diane Lane looking hot. And they're about to do it. Because she did the correct thing. She saw the sexy Frenchman. She came home to her husband to have sex with him while thinking about the sexy Frenchman.
00:21:27
Speaker
Perfect. No notes. That is how you should do things in this life. But of course, this is ruined. And the only reason this affair happens is because... of of that snot-nosed little punk kid ruining it.
00:21:42
Speaker
He's like, I can't sleep or some dumb stuff. yeah It wasn't even a good excuse. Richard Gere isn't getting any ass in this movie.
00:21:54
Speaker
No, it's really sad for him. These are just people that have been, they've been married 11 years in this movie. And i don't even. And nine of those years, they had this little twerp with them.
00:22:11
Speaker
I don't even think they are necessarily having a bad marriage. Like you can just see that it's like further enough in that it's a little boring. Yes, they have cute, boring life where they they joke with each each other. In the suburbs. In the Yeah, yeah.
00:22:29
Speaker
I did think this was interesting. i guess the original script and when gear signed on with Adrian line, the movie was supposed to be about two people who had a good, happy marriage and were like fucking and and things were good. And then she still fucks the Frenchman about how like you can just like fall into cheating, even if things are good.
00:22:54
Speaker
And they said, I guess the the studio changed it. So, That would make ah her character a lot less likable and relatable, I think, if she was getting it from Richard Gere and a Frenchman.
00:23:09
Speaker
Like, come on. Don't hoard it, girl. You can't have all the sexy men. You can't fight God's will. Yeah.
Narrative Structure and Emotional Impact
00:23:22
Speaker
That's your answer, Garrett. Even if she's in a perfectly happy, sex-filled marriage, she can still go have sex with the Frenchman. yeah I'm not religious until wind mashes me into a hot European lady.
00:23:40
Speaker
What was I supposed to do? I prayed on it, and he said that I had to do it for him. that and And I sing that Grease 2 song and do it for your country.
00:23:53
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, Lord. Yeah. So she goes, I guess he left his phone number in the book and smart. Good, good work guy. She calls him from a pay phone and he's like, yeah, where are you? I'm in Grand Central Station. Well, come on over.
00:24:16
Speaker
Oh, no, I just wanted to thank you for the book and and for helping me. No, come on over. This scene had the sexiest version that you could ever imagine of a dude teaching you to play pool or to do something.
00:24:32
Speaker
You wish a Frenchman would stand behind you and make you read Braille with him. Mm-hmm. 100%. Sexy braille reading, y'all.
00:24:43
Speaker
And ah do you remember the joke the that he says? Mm-hmm. It was about, like, my mother makes me chicken, the chicken makes me cough, I wish she next time she'd take the feathers off.
00:24:59
Speaker
That's the sexy line that he has her read in braille. Well, she doesn't believe that that was in the book, and then they're looking at the joy of cooking. Yes.
00:25:12
Speaker
Or looking. Looking. They're not looking at nothing. So she returns the second time, and you're like, that's a little naughty. But she goes back to the well a third time.
00:25:25
Speaker
Yeah, that's the thing. She enjoys with this so many times. And after just the second time, she she shows up at her husband's job with a ah new sweater because she's got a guilty conscience already before she's even done anything.
00:25:41
Speaker
And she probably should have taken that as a sign that this was a bad idea. And each time she goes over, she's like no, no, no, I shouldn't do this. But Kit, you show up to a Frenchman's house for the third time and you bring him muffins.
00:25:55
Speaker
You know why you're there. We all know why you're there. You didn't just make a hot new friend. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, he's just my, uh, my city friend. My hot city friend.
00:26:11
Speaker
That clearly exists only for sex and reading Braille. in a sexy way. ah Yeah, she's daydreaming while washing the dishes and yeah, that she has to go back again.
00:26:27
Speaker
and this time he's listening to music and and so now they're dancing and she's like, I bet you do this all the time. and He's like, no, no, no. No, I just ah fuck my knees.
00:26:41
Speaker
It's just ah two girllfriend two girlfriends. Two girlfriends. He claims he's only ever... Two girlfriends. He's a good boy. i don't know why she believes him. That's stupid. um And she's like, this is a mistake.
00:26:53
Speaker
And he says, there's no such thing as a mistake. There's only what you do and what you don't do. And she rushes out. But Garrett, what happens? will we get this amazingly edited scene that you mentioned yes because she forgot her coat so she has to go back in and get the coat next thing you know they're mashing faces as well as mashing parts and then yes the the scene on the train home that's intercut with the like it's a really cool scene actually that it goes from ah them like
00:27:30
Speaker
mashing together to her on the train home and you're like are we not gonna get we're not gonna get the the goods oh we get the goods but it's intercut with how she feels about it on the train home afterwards and it is a masterful performance this is the oscar scene like 100 crying laughing spasming turned on, conflicted, like, she's, the range of emotions that go across her face and in her body language is so impressive.
00:28:05
Speaker
And in the sex scene itself, like, I can't say that I've ever been in this situation, but, like, I believed it 100% that was, like, feeling the, that she was like feeling the excitement and anxiety at the same time while in bed with this hot Frenchman.
00:28:27
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Richard gear has done so little for her in the last few years that getting her belly button blown makes her come immediately.
00:28:38
Speaker
Yes. She starts shaking from that. And has a tactic for this when she's like, no, no, no, I shouldn't do this. He's like, hit me. She's like, It's like, hit me.
00:28:50
Speaker
And so she sli slaps him and he they sort of wrestle a little bit and he's like, do it again. And next thing you know, they're like, fight fucking, I guess.
00:29:02
Speaker
ah And it works, the tactic works. I don't know why, i what it unlocks inside her, but suddenly she is ready to pound.
00:29:12
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. She's ready to get fucked and ride the shame train. Yeah. And it it looks great. I have to say it looked like good sex. Oh, it did.
00:29:23
Speaker
And I did see that Adrian Lyne said that the scene wasn't written the way it was presented that Ann Coates, the editor, he came in and she had done that on her own. Like it was supposed to be sex and then the train ride.
00:29:38
Speaker
And she was the one that like cut them on top of each other and did it that way. And he was like, oh, shit, that's great.
Interplay of Humor and Drama
00:29:45
Speaker
Yeah, it's genius. It's absolute genius. and it was a ah what do you were their age range like what would you were they about the same age the frenchman all the frenchmen and no the frenchman is specifically supposed to be younger i think he's he mentions that he's like 28 and i get the feeling she's in her late 30s i want to say
00:30:12
Speaker
I got the feeling she was like because her friends are talking about whether or not she's had work done. And they're like, yeah, her ass is in the same place it was in college. Like she's still hot.
00:30:24
Speaker
And so that's not a thing you usually are talking about with your friends when you're only 28. So I do think she's supposed to be like a decade older than him. This movie is very masterful in showing you side shots of Diane Lane's ass getting pushed into things.
00:30:45
Speaker
hundred 100%. Yes. it It's like it's an angle that I feel like isn't in all of these movies. This was like the little something different that they gave me so many times that it turns out is that my thing?
00:31:02
Speaker
Garrett, we learned something new about you you. learned something yeah about yourself. I got, yeah it just turns out I needed a different angle five times. This is my like small rant, but like, this is kind of my problem with porn. They always use the same boring angles.
00:31:19
Speaker
They never show you anything interesting. They just are like, here it is. here You can watch the P go into the V or the B or the whatever. and it's like, Get a little creative. There are parts of the human anatomy that are much more interesting to look at while people are boning than just the genitalia.
00:31:39
Speaker
Hire a cinematographer. Hire a cinematographer for your porn, please. Speaking of that, like ah Barry Sonnefeld. Who he directed in Black. He directed Adam's Family, Adam's Family Values, one of my favorite movies.
00:31:58
Speaker
He started out as a cinematographer ah for the Coen brothers. But before that, his introduction into cinematography was shooting pornography. Yeah.
00:32:08
Speaker
And in his biography, he has the funniest stories of being on porn sets and just such a neurotic little man discussing like how sickening the smell is.
00:32:25
Speaker
Oh, no, never even considered that. All I'm saying is barry son I think Barry Sonnenfeld has a couple books, but his first one, great stories of shooting porn.
00:32:36
Speaker
But then, yeah, went on to be cinematographers for the Coen brothers before shooting his own movies. You know, maybe he should have he should go back to that and bring his you know years of experience back to porn. I'm just saying.
00:32:51
Speaker
I don't think he'd do it. He seems a little too... Of course wouldn't. like ah Like a Larry David having to shoot porn. I would also want to watch that.
00:33:04
Speaker
So, yeah, this is the part where I realized, like, oh, because Richard Gere's asking her where she's been, and we realized she has no good excuse sir for going anywhere.
Consequences and Character Resolutions
00:33:18
Speaker
The only reason she was in New York City proper in the first place was because she was getting stuff for her kid's birthday party which why you would need to go all the way into the city to buy some balloons and party hats for a nine-year-old's birthday i do not you know you telling me the burbs don't have a party city that's where those exist
00:33:43
Speaker
find that very difficult to believe maybe she was just looking for an excuse to get out of the burbs for for a day but she did so on tornado day so it's really windy today if there's ever a day where it's just like i think i'm just gonna drive straight to the party city park real close you know to the entrance and then just go get what i need and come back that would be a day to do it it seems like her job is not really a job but it's organizing fundraisers or something yes it seems like she does auction fundraisers ah for juilliard she mentions at one point and they they just talk about the school so maybe their kid goes to a private school and they raise money for i don't they seem rich and fancy they seem rich and vaguely fancy they have maid slash
00:34:38
Speaker
ah uh yeah they have like a housekeeper slash babysitter and so why the hell is their house so freaking messy garrett why is their house like this if she is home and and before she's spending all her time fucking a frenchman uh the place is already a wreck and it's like you have a housekeeper and you have no job That's two full-grown adults at your house for eight hours.
00:35:10
Speaker
Clean house. You only even have one kid. you know't It's not like you've got like if you have like six kids. Of course the house is going to be a mess no matter what. But rich people should not have a house this messy. I'm sorry.
00:35:23
Speaker
Yeah, get down there and clean the baseboards and stop bringing the Frenchman muffins. Give those muffins to your cleaning lady and maybe she'll do like a more thorough job.
00:35:36
Speaker
Maybe give one to your son and see if you still want to give them to the Frenchman. but The funniest part for me was when she comes home at one point and there's like stuff in the in front of the front door that she like pushes out of the way with the door. And I'm like, the kid just got home from school.
00:35:54
Speaker
How is there already stuff in front blocking the front door? That kid is a terrorist, Garrett. I think that may be I've seen Malcolm in the middle. I know those kids were naughty.
00:36:06
Speaker
Yeah. I do. Okay. So, you know, Richard Gere talks to somebody that she kind of tried to use as an alibi, finds out he has no idea what she's talking about.
00:36:19
Speaker
She's in the home office with Richard Gere and you know, he's like definitely getting suspicious. Con, do you love me? Of course I love you. Okay. I guess I'm just being silly. And this is where we see the only thing I, there's like a handful of things I remembered from seeing this in 2002.
00:36:35
Speaker
two thousand two And one was the snow globe. They a snow globe collection. Was that a world trade center snow globe or was it a Chicago snow globe? the Chicago snow globe because it says windy city on it.
00:36:50
Speaker
Okay. So I thought that's what it said in the second viewing. Cause I went back and I was rewatching it this morning before we recorded. And in the first scene, you can only see the buildings. It doesn't show the windy city thing in the first shot.
00:37:03
Speaker
So at first when I'm looking at it, it looked like the twin towers. 100% thought it was the Twin Towers too at first thought it was a New York snow globe um that ah that that only later when you see it more carefully do you in closely do you see the Windy City thing.
00:37:19
Speaker
um I really wish they had included the scene a scene of her giving the snow globe away. That is such an important object in this movie.
00:37:31
Speaker
is that snow globe. And we don't see the what may be the most important scene regarding it, which is why the hell did she give it to the Frenchman? Why that one? Windy city, and it was the wind that brought them together.
00:37:48
Speaker
but at the same time, like it's psychotic behavior to give away a gift your husband gave you to your lover. That's insane to me.
00:37:59
Speaker
They have an unruly amount of snow globes in their house. It is an unruly amount of snow globes. It's it's a bit of a problem. It actually kind of makes the messy house make more sense because nobody would have a room with 150 displayed snow globes.
00:38:19
Speaker
Garrett, are you saying that people who collect snow globes are just inherently messy people? I'm saying that it actually is making me realize that maybe there's a mental illness in involved they're just collections they get them on all their vacations together it shows it's the history of their love written into snow globe form okay yeah i mean it's much better than having a room full of funko pops is all i'm
00:38:53
Speaker
You know what, if she had given that Frenchman a beloved Funko Pop, this whole movie would have turned out differently. You can't kill someone with a Funko Pop. What? Is this um a Wolverine variant?
00:39:08
Speaker
Limited edition. a Chase. Oh God.
00:39:16
Speaker
but So there's this montage of like her living her dual life, right? Sexy Frenchman and the husband. Everyone seems like they're having a good time. she There's ah just a brief shot of her sitting in a chair with her hand down her jeans.
00:39:31
Speaker
And I thought that was great. I love the the cut before it. is You're right. This is this is ah once again, a masterful montage. You get to see Richard Gere playing video games with Dewey from a era from Malcolm in the Middle, and then it just immediately cuts to Diane Lane jacking off in a chair.
00:39:51
Speaker
It's so funny. It's so good. It's perfect. And then the shot of Richard Gere putting his son on his shoulders. And then the next shot is basically this Frenchman and Diane Lane doing a flying 69. Yeah.
00:40:11
Speaker
seriously why did this not win an oscar for editing it needed that oscar for editing it's so good it's such a funny edit you're right this movie's got hijinks like it was literally like her vagina in his face they're both clothed but it's uh it's oh my god oh my god wild and What's really funny is that this movie has so many hijinks and also I think did the best job of any movie we've seen so far of showing like horrific consequences for your family and your love and your life and like why it's a bad idea to cheat on your spouse. This movie definitely made me not want to cheat on my partner more than anything else we've seen and yet also there are hijinks.
00:41:06
Speaker
Oh my God. How guilty. There's never been two people who have seemed more guilty in any movie we've watched. These two crumble so fucking hard in front of the police.
00:41:20
Speaker
It's so bad. We get through, you know, what happens and it's insane that they aren't in prison. Yeah. and It is. So, so, uh, he
Dramatic Elements and Infidelity Exploration
00:41:33
Speaker
draws on her while she's asleep.
00:41:35
Speaker
Uh, the Frenchman draws a little, a little flower, I guess, on, on ah her pelvic bone. Right on the mons pubis. Right on the mons pubis.
00:41:47
Speaker
And it did make me wonder if maybe she was like, if if a I would say about 15% of why she's doing this is to get away from her husband and child long enough to have a goddamn nap.
00:42:01
Speaker
Oh, yeah. The fact that she fell asleep after sex with the Frenchman and looked so peaceful does make me think that maybe part of this is like, oh, I'm not in my messy ass house with my incompetent, can't even put a shirt on husband and my peeing on the toilet seat kid.
00:42:20
Speaker
I can have 10 goddamn minutes to sleep. Oh.
00:42:30
Speaker
It's even about the sex anymore. She does start to get pretty sloppy with her her infidelity, where now they're going to coffee shops and she's getting her butt fingered and in in the coffee shop. you yeah yeah that was In front of her husband's co-worker. Yeah, just he just shoves his hand down the back of her jeans in the middle of a diner.
00:42:54
Speaker
Handful ass. handful of ass don't forget though that the the drawing of course comes back oh yeah in the tub in the tub we see her notice it and she's like scrubbing it off and then richard gear comes in and she's in this you know sexy hot tub type well not hot tub but a hot bath tub ah drinking ah some kind of, you know, adult beverage and just enjoying herself. And he's like, room for two. And she's like, always. And I was like, now they're going to have set.
00:43:29
Speaker
Oh, no. no She shuts him down so quick. I mean, you made it seem like she was excited for him to come in. And I guess she kind of was. you like, pretends to be because she knows she's supposed to be. Like, that's what she's supposed to say to her husband.
00:43:48
Speaker
But I definitely thought, you know, like... she was gonna but I don't know if it was because like she was worried he would see the mark still that she hadn't fully scrubbed off or if it's because she's just like so unattracted to Richard gear that she just can't anymore if you needed to cover your tracks of infidelity do you think she should have just like sucked that guy off and pretended that it was fun
00:44:21
Speaker
Yes, 100%. one hundred percent And then he's like, oh, i' obviously I'm just crazy. Yeah, we just had sexy bath times, obviously. I mean, you know. I love that she abandons him in that tub and he just stays.
00:44:36
Speaker
Just got in. What do you want him to do? now he's just left alone, sad in a lukewarm bath to scrub his ass. And she's like, oh I'm cold. No, I want to get out. And it's like.
00:44:49
Speaker
You know you can add more hot water to a bath, lady. no you can't. Not when your pod husband's in it that you do not want to be around. yeah And if anything, like if he didn't already suspect something, he certainly would after that.
00:45:07
Speaker
yeah When he walks in the other room and she's jilling off in the bed shouting, Pierre. know yeah
00:45:16
Speaker
oh yeah and so and the next morning he's like hey why don't we go into the city together and we'll get lunch together and she's like oh no i gotta to get a facial today and it's like yeah she does not the kind you're thinking of richard gear The other kind.
00:45:36
Speaker
And he actually calls. He calls the fucking beauty salon or whatever it is, the the spa, and finds out she doesn't have an appointment.
00:45:48
Speaker
Garrett, at what point did you expect him, if ever, to actually confront her? Because he has been suspecting this since day one. Yeah, there has never been a second where he didn't feel like maybe she's fucking a French guy.
00:46:03
Speaker
Yeah. Even before she was fucking the French guy, he kind of suspected maybe she was thinking about fucking the French guy. And even after this, like he, it takes basically him firing a guy at work and the guy being like, well, yeah, maybe take a look at your own family for him to hire a private eye. Yeah.
00:46:26
Speaker
Which also... Are all private eyes at this point old men? Is that a young man's job? Can you hire a young private eye? You cannot. They're all retired cops who are doing this because, ah you know, ah it's a way to keep busy in their retirement because their wife does not want them hanging around the house all day.
00:46:47
Speaker
That is my theory. I think if you see an old man in a trench coat with a giant Nikon camera, dead giveaway. Maybe hire, hear me out, kid detective.
00:47:01
Speaker
um Get, get what I mean, what? You want him to have his own kid do it? You want Dewey to do it? Well, not, but I'm saying that Frankie Munez was probably looking for work at the time, and he could have done it.
00:47:14
Speaker
That's true. Get your Harriet the Spy. Get her on the case. She'll do it. She lived in New York. Yeah, I don't remember. but she was a city kid. I don't remember. Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, they would get to the bottom of this. And i come to think of it, I'm surprised more people didn't hire them to find and whether their spouse was cheating on them instead of, say, the lost heirloom necklace or whatever. You end up in jail because you hired children to take pictures of your wife having sex with a French guy.
00:47:48
Speaker
Yeah. I'm sorry, what did you ask this child to do? Well, listen, he said he had a kid detective agency and no case too big or too small and it was only 50 cents.
00:48:03
Speaker
I couldn't hire, couldn't afford adult private eye, but this kid was only 50 cents plus expenses.
00:48:14
Speaker
It's like, what did this cost? I had to get him a PS2.
00:48:22
Speaker
Encyclopedia Brown would have done it for less. Oh, we have to talk about, so ah she runs into the Friends. So she runs into her friend Tracy, and who Tracy introduces, Sally from Planned Parenthood, which I thought was the weirdest way to introduce someone Ever. And then hilariously, when she ducks into the bathroom because she sees her Frenchman, ah you hear Sally say, why do you always introduce me as Sally from Planned Parenthood? You make it sound like I'm just walking around New York handing out condoms.
00:49:04
Speaker
Oh, I love that scene. It is a really, I mean, do it's funny. And then of course, French man shows up to have a ah quick toilet bang.
00:49:15
Speaker
Yeah, ah there was great he's grabbing her tits in the bathroom and she's like, you take me to the best places. It was funny. It was cute. there He's got her you know up against the stall.
00:49:27
Speaker
They're having a great time. you know She gets back to the table and ah up the top button on her blouse is... ah is undone
Conclusion and Lasting Impact
00:49:37
Speaker
and uh they're like hey did you see that oh we thought maybe you'd been abducted by that that tall drink of water over there and she's like what i don't know what you're talking about and they're like you know that guy over there that tall drink of perrier
00:49:54
Speaker
Tall drink of Merlot. a And they start talking about having an affair. You know, ah Sally from Planned Parenthood is of course the one who's like, I bet an affair would be nice for me.
00:50:08
Speaker
It'd be like taking up taking a pottery class. It would expand my horizons and no one else needs to know about it. And Tracy pops in to say,
00:50:20
Speaker
no An affair is nothing like a pottery class, which she says with such a straight face. And it is such a mood killer as they realize like, oh, she has a personal sad story to tell. This lady, she hadn't seen, feels like she hadn't seen in a while, really opened up with just like, I boned somebody.
00:50:40
Speaker
It ruined my whole life. I wish I had never done it. Affairs are bad. It's the one thing in her life she would undo if she could. And it's like, damn, dude.
00:50:51
Speaker
ah And so this has our heroine rethinking some things about, you know, maybe maybe she should call this off. And this is also when Richard Gere finds out that his...
00:51:05
Speaker
his employee has been shopping around, seeing if he can get better offers. And Richard Gere fires him for this, saying that, you know, this is about loyalty.
00:51:18
Speaker
And guy's like, dude, you you're laying, you're firing, I have a family. And yeah Richard Gere's like, this is a family. and he's like, you don't know shit about family. Check out your own family. And I'm like,
00:51:31
Speaker
Can we get back to the fact that Richard Gere just fired this man for looking at potentially getting a new job? What an asshole. Like, what an absolute piece of shit boss he is. Suddenly, i don't care that he's getting cheated on. He is a bastard.
00:51:50
Speaker
Oh, you were looking at at changing jobs? Well, you're fired. Because that hurts my feelings that you would want someone who pays you more and gives you better benefits than I do.
00:52:02
Speaker
That makes you disloyal. Go fuck yourself! To be fair, he is having other issues in his life with loyalty, and this guy caught the brunt of it.
00:52:14
Speaker
And you think that's what it's about? that That he's not normally one of those people who says this this workplace is like a family as a way to get you to accept lower pay and worse conditions? Well, that too, but I think that he could have maybe looked the other way if his wife wasn't fucking Paul.
00:52:32
Speaker
Listen... I know you've got a family, you've got kids, you've got bills to pay and a mortgage, but my wife's fucking a Frenchman, so I need you to get your ass out.
00:52:44
Speaker
So they fuck at a movie theater. Detective catches him snapping pictures. She falls asleep in his apartment. We see their son sitting on the steps of the school waiting for mom with the teacher.
00:52:58
Speaker
Mom is fucking up at everything. Mom is fucking up absolutely everything these days. She can't cook. She can't ah you know do anything right. She can't pick her kid up from school. It's a little weirdly regressive in some of its...
00:53:15
Speaker
you know she ideas about women. yeah yeah this This time she like finally just got too comfortable, flew too close to the sun. And she gets a parking ticket in front of the Frenchman's house and she's like freaking out because she has to go get her kid.
00:53:34
Speaker
The amount of time it would have taken for her to drive to New York from wherever the fuck she lives. and ah She had to have been three hours late picking that kid up at school.
00:53:44
Speaker
Absolutely. She's trying to get through rush hour. And she gets there. The teacher's pissed at her. The kid is fine. he's He's not even mad a little bit.
00:53:57
Speaker
But we finally get to my favorite scene. Oh, good. Okay. And that is, it cuts to Diane Lane sitting at home, smoking a cigarette yeah in front of a pile of McDonald's.
00:54:12
Speaker
you And... Showing what a truly terrible mother she is. She bought her child McDonald's. See, I think it was a perfect commercial. I was kind of like... I was like... the middle of an affair that is ripping apart your life.
00:54:32
Speaker
Have a cigarette. I'm loving it. And I was just like... been there girl i've been there i've had that sig i've had that pile of mcdonald's the grimace was looking right down the barrel of the camera i the rest of the movie anyone's anytime someone cries which is a lot it's for the rest of this movie every time out loud i said you did not single time Because this movie now made me associate, you're sad, you dirt you deserve a McChicken.
00:55:11
Speaker
how you now Go get yourself a slutty little snack. have ah Have yourself a shamrock shake. Have some nuggies. Get some chicky nuggies. is It'll make everything better.
00:55:22
Speaker
Yeah, you you eat some of the mashed chicken bits and have yourself a little ciggy. All your problems fade away for, you know, two and a half minutes or however long. If they paid for this product placement, it apparently worked on you. Well, I didn't want to buy the camera.
00:55:39
Speaker
They showed me the box to the camera. I don't remember what brand it was. That's point. That McDonald's ad. McDonald's would have had to sign ah on all of that everything was label out kit this movie didn't show me any other products but it force fed me mcdonald's as this woman was a bad mother why did they sign off on this being an okay product placement I don't know. i don't know.
00:56:05
Speaker
Because it's it's in that scene where she's like picking up the phone to call the Frenchman to to to call it off because she's clearly starting to fail as a mother. And ah the kid walks in and she has to hang up quickly and he sees her crying in front of the McDonald's.
00:56:24
Speaker
Okay. Let's get to the final 30 minutes of this movie. Okay. So first of all, What does she find out about the Frenchman? Oh, that he's got a girlfriend? Yeah!
00:56:36
Speaker
And that really, really bothers her way too much. Yeah, i was like, where do you get off being mad about this? You have a husband. This is the same thing from Baby Girl.
00:56:47
Speaker
Yeah, that's a good point. Literally the exact same situation, except Diane Lane beats the shit out of this woman. Or like tries to in a library or something.
00:56:59
Speaker
It is really funny that she tries to attack this woman in in the middle of a bookstore. And ah then they have like fight sex back at his apartment where he fucks her in the hallway of his apartment. Whoa. Right in the stairwell.
00:57:15
Speaker
Wowie wow wow. and it They make friends French hot hate sex seem really good. It seems good. Yeah. I'd be, I couldn't do the stairwell.
00:57:28
Speaker
You'd be too anxious about people walking in? Way, way, way, way too anxious. It's, yeah. Especially if, I don't know, maybe you're cheating on your husband.
00:57:39
Speaker
And maybe you shouldn't be having sex in public. But what do I know? So, yes, she's running out right as Richard Gere is arriving. More hijinks.
00:57:55
Speaker
Real cartoony the way that it it's like he doesn't go, then he goes, and then she leaves, and then he comes. They never see each other. and And he's surprisingly calm as he goes into the the apartment complex and just, like, knocks on the door and is like, can I come in I'm Connie's husband.
00:58:15
Speaker
And this scene is bizarre because first of all, the Frenchman is wearing no shirt. He has just thrown on an overcoat. He looks absolutely ridiculous. And Richard Gere's just like wandering around the apartment, looking at things like, yeah, but they fucked there.
00:58:34
Speaker
Every surface. i can still see the imprint of her ass on that Ottoman. I would recognize that ass print anyway.
00:58:44
Speaker
And the craziest shit is as they're talking and he's just like, you fucked my wife here. And he touches the Braille. And then she's like, he says something about himself. And she's like, yeah, I know. She told me. And he's like, you guys talked about me.
00:58:58
Speaker
yeah It was ah the question of whose idea it was to go to the to move to the burbs. And of them misremember it as being the other one's idea to move to the burbs.
00:59:09
Speaker
Yeah. Which makes me think it was both of their ideas and they're both just trying to blame it on each other now that they hate living in the burbs. Yeah, he looks at the bed and I was like, don't look at the bed, man. This isn't gonna make you feel any better.
00:59:22
Speaker
ah the Frenchman offers him a drink. They both are drinking vodka and... kind of slamming it a little. Kind of slamming it a little. Fair. It's an awkward situation for everyone. Yeah.
00:59:34
Speaker
And it's all very weird. The tension and yet the calm with which Richard Gere is approaching this whole thing. And then he sees the snow globe and he's like, this is a gift from me.
00:59:48
Speaker
yeah ah he picks it up and he he turns it and it's it's a music box. And the Frenchman's like, huh, I didn't know it did that. And he's like, why would she give this to you?
00:59:59
Speaker
And he said, I don't know. I guess she wanted to buy me something. And he's like, she didn't buy it. I gave it to her. And that's what really fucks him up. This is a true smoke in a McDonald's situation.
01:00:12
Speaker
Yeah. He starts to feel physically sick and dizzy. And I was like, I am i am right here with you feeling it. Like, he's doing a really wonderful job ah of portraying this man like,
01:00:25
Speaker
Suddenly it's really hitting him just how deep this fucking affair goes. And we can probably still smell it in there. like Yeah. No, Garrett, because they fucked it was in the hallway. He just walked by it. He caught a waff.
01:00:41
Speaker
And those sheets definitely have been washed recently. i was going to say, ain't no way that Frenchman washes his sheets every time. Like you saw those book piles. He's not that concerned about the, you know, that his house.
01:00:56
Speaker
So he starts to really lose it and then hits him with the snow globe. And one hefty fucking snow globe.
01:01:11
Speaker
And next thing you know, dudes just dies immediately. And Richard Gere is totally at a loss for what to do. He's so in over his head. He almost calls 911 and then decides against it.
01:01:26
Speaker
he he's I felt bad for him. I felt genuinely really bad for him. And then he's like, well, I got i don't know what to do. And he hears his wife on the answering machine calling to to to to stop the affair.
01:01:45
Speaker
And that's when he's like, I guess I gotta hide the evidence. the The tension and the thrills of the next 15 minutes are so excellent.
01:01:56
Speaker
Yes. Oh, 100%. Oh my God. The second best elevator scene of Adrian Lyons film. The man loves himself a shitty, half-broken, warehouse-style elevator.
01:02:09
Speaker
ah We've established early in the movie the elevator to this building is out of order and is on the fritz. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. And it turns out the time it decides not to work is when you've got a body wrapped up in a rug that you're trying to get out of the apartment.
01:02:28
Speaker
Incredible. It's a comedy of errors. this the Just the number of of things like... you know, he's carrying the body out to his trunk and a guy offers to give him a hand, which this is New York. The fact that someone offered to help him is what were the chances of that?
01:02:48
Speaker
Well, this is the clean trash and hurricane district. man like um no People just be different in the clean trash district. so The trash is clean. What do you have to be be angry about?
01:03:00
Speaker
um that You know what? Good point. Zebras are blowing everywhere. You get hit in the face with a balloon zebra and you're just not going to be that mad about it. It's whimsical. You never know who you're going to fuck in the wind district.
01:03:13
Speaker
Oh, I love this. Yeah, okay. This is the New York that we dream. New York. where made Yeah, this is the one they're talking about.
01:03:25
Speaker
This is it. The city where anything is possible and no one sleeps because they're fucking all night, that's this one. And so ah he he wipes his prints off of stuff, but he also is clearly getting his fingerprints on new stuff as he's wiping his fingerprints off the old stuff, which I found hilarious.
01:03:46
Speaker
Like, it's on the duct tape. It's on books. It's on everything. There is so much stuff he leaves his fingerprints on as he goes through the effort of cleaning it off of the glass he was drinking out of.
01:04:01
Speaker
man Yeah, he just, he was not ready to commit a crime today. no and you know what? That's the worst when you you just weren't prepared for it. You didn't have your gloves. You didn't have a hacksaw. You got nothing.
01:04:16
Speaker
Hey, I had norovirus recently. i was so nauseous and out of it. If anybody had come near me, I would have murdered them with a snowball. It's...
01:04:29
Speaker
Um, so yeah, he they go he he makes it just in time for his kids' school play, which is the most bizarre. Garrett, the thing's on this stage. There's like 30 rabbits, because I guess it maybe is' it's an Easter?
01:04:47
Speaker
Play? Maybe? Did we do this for Easter? Is this an Easter movie? I mean, it might be. They're, like, having dinner together, and, like, Richard Gere says a prayer, and there's, like, family there, and it looks like it's some sort of holiday.
01:05:02
Speaker
The French guy does kind of look like Jesus. Mmm, there you go. And, uh, yeah, but there's also, along with all the bunnies, there's a kid playing, um like a bulldozer like classic kid play though you know you gotta have somebody's gotta play the bulldozer there's a there's 90 kids in the class there's not a part for everybody this this isn't our town it's very you know it's very much like uh the the love actually where they're they have to add so many kids to the jesus play that there's lobsters and octopus in the hundred percent
01:05:41
Speaker
Very much gave those vibes. And they're singing a song about how you got to dream big and people who try to cut you down just don't understand and don't have dreams of their own. I'm like, is this is the dream supposed to be to have sex with a Frenchman?
01:05:59
Speaker
Is that what I'm taking from this? Go have sex with a Frenchman? It's just like, sometimes the wind blows. Cut your wife some slack.
01:06:12
Speaker
So ah he's like, he ditches his bloody shirt in the school bathroom, which is also where he's washing blood off his chest, which is wild.
01:06:27
Speaker
But he does make it because he's a good dad, just in time to hear his kid's solo line. So dad points. You don't know shit about parenting and if you haven't been shirtless washing blood off your chest in the school bathroom and it's crying. And that was another like as he's like scrubbing and he's crying. I'm sitting there on my couch going.
01:06:51
Speaker
but da up but like it I swear to God, I want like I want McDonald's today.
01:07:02
Speaker
You said before we started that you thought you knew that that there was going to be a bit, a recurring bit that you could have. And i was like, okay, I don't know where that's going to go, but I bet it's, I i did not expect,
01:07:17
Speaker
I did not predict in any way, shape or form that it was going to be a fucking McDonald's commercial every time someone's crying.
01:07:31
Speaker
And now I really, really want chicken nuggets. Actually, we should probably go get some for the Instagram.
01:07:42
Speaker
Like get a cigarette and some nugs and just cry. and like This week on the ah show, Unfaithful.
01:07:51
Speaker
ah lord and Oh my God. After this, after the plays over another like crazy tense moment, he has now got his son in the car with corpse in the trunk. Yes.
01:08:06
Speaker
And then of course somebody like hits the back of his car on the parking lot and the trunk won't close this comedy of errors. This absolute farce goes so to the next level as he's trying to shove the trunk down and the guy's like well you want me to take a look at it and he's like no his kids in the back seat were like dad what's going on and
01:08:33
Speaker
my god and yeah goes home has to sneak away in the night to take the frenchman to the dump put him clean trash goes to the car wash he went to the clean trash dump that was his mistake i bet they wouldn't have found the body if he'd gone to the dirty trash dump yeah no one wants to touch that it's like i like to think of it as like separating your whites from the color clothes uh clean trash dirty trash that's clean trash your dirty trash dumps That's basically what recycling is. Most of that ends up in a dump anyway. yeah That's your clean trash.
01:09:09
Speaker
He gets his car washed and I assume detailed. like he Washes away his sins. He's doing his best, but whoa, the cops are here.
01:09:19
Speaker
And I recognized this cop, this fat fuck cop, ah from one of my other little known obsessions. There was a TV show called Boomtown that I was absolutely obsessed with back in the day.
01:09:35
Speaker
And it was a crime... show that showed the crime from different perspectives. So you would see it from the victim's perspective. You would see it from the coroner's perspective, from a newspaper reporter's perspective.
01:09:50
Speaker
And if there was always like a twist at the end where you saw something that you weren't expecting and it like makes the whole thing fall into place because, you know, it's all about how ah we all view things differently. And there were some really ah gnarly ones where Like the the final twist is that you see that this guy that was ah they found in the walls of the building was alive when they was put in there. no one knows that. You just see it from his perspective there at the very end. And it's like, this was a really cool, stupidly high concept show canceled too soon.
01:10:28
Speaker
And this fat fuck was a cop on that show too. and they're like, and he was the wall body. and And kind of made me want to like watch this, this crime having unfolded in that sense of boom town where we see it from here's from the wife's perspective. And then later we get the husband's perspective. And then at the very end, we get the French man's perspective where we find out he was alive while wrapped up in the rug, getting thrown into the dirty trash. Yeah.
01:11:02
Speaker
It's a real Monty Python. i I feel happy. um not dead yet. And then the final episode is from the snow globe's perspective.
01:11:13
Speaker
Yes, exactly. And that's how we find the the note that's hidden inside the snow globe is because we saw it from the snow globe's perspective last. Diane Lane finds a beautiful little note in that snow globe. they know. When she realizes it's back home where it's supposed to be. And it says, don't open this till our 25th wedding anniversary.
01:11:35
Speaker
I know. So ah the the boyfriend's dead. Everyone's got secrets. They're keeping secrets from each other. They both know that the other one knows, but they don't. She finds the the photos that from the PI.
01:11:53
Speaker
The dry cleaner. Man, what these two are so stressed, Kit. Why in the ever-living fuck are they throwing a party?
01:12:04
Speaker
Why wouldn't you just say, i have the flu, we need to cancel this party. Somebody needs to cancel this fucking party, Kit. When was this party scheduled? Had it been on the books for months? Because, like, surely you didn't, you know, the same week that you called or that you killed your wife's boyfriend, you didn't also call up your friends and say, like,
01:12:26
Speaker
Hey, how about a dinner party? Surely not. I don't understand
01:12:36
Speaker
why the cops didn't arrest either of these people. Right? is That's the thing, is they are acting so suspicious. And the only reason I can think that they didn't arrest them immediately is because they're still busy getting Richard Gere's fingerprints out of the apartment, and they're not ready to make the arrest just yet.
01:12:57
Speaker
Which I guess explains why like by the end of this movie you know they're just sitting in a car having like a fantasy conversation about leaving the country together. Because at this point they both know exactly what happened.
01:13:11
Speaker
Yeah. and it So mom's you know it you see it so the secret message in the snow globe oh my god it broke me Garrett.
01:13:23
Speaker
Richard Gere sitting at the piano like playing piano with the kid and the message is a love note that says if you see this do not open until our 25th anniversary and it tells her it's like to my beautiful wife the best part of every day oh my god loving it
01:13:49
Speaker
i'm loving her Everyone. so she starts picturing herself in back in the beginning in the wind and her getting invited up to the apartment for the first time to go clean off her knees. And instead she grabs a cab and waves goodbye and says, thank you.
01:14:09
Speaker
And God, how she wishes that was what she did instead. And oh my God, did this movie, and you know, most movies that are about having an affair and the terrible, terrible consequences thereof do a bad job of making me not want to do the the the the the affair.
01:14:29
Speaker
It's like the Scarface problem, right? Is that people watch Scarface and they're like, damn, it looks badass to be a drug lord.
01:14:37
Speaker
And then they ignore the fact that all the bad stuff happens. They're like, yeah, but I wouldn't do the dumb stuff that gets me caught. I would just enjoy being a cool crime lord. And this one does a really effective job of making it seem like, no, the bad stuff is 100% inevitable.
01:14:54
Speaker
There is no going back. Once you've broken something, it cannot be repaired. There is no fixing this. And yeah, so they're in the car outside the police station talking about like, we could just go. we could sell everything. We could go to Mexico and live on the beach and tell our kid it's going to be an adventure. And my theory is, Garrett, that he's about to go turn himself in.
01:15:25
Speaker
That's what I assumed as well, because he had mentioned that in dialogue in that scene. And it is a reveal that they're at the police station. We know they're at theyre they're at a red light having this conversation.
01:15:37
Speaker
And like the the final moment is just that pan back to show you that it it they're next to the police station credits. And it leaves it up in the air. Are they going to run? Is he going to turn himself in? I think he's about to go to prison and just let them. These people are too stressed.
01:15:52
Speaker
They can't. They would never be able to... you You see them flinching at the sound of a siren in the distance. Like, there's no way they will be able to... ah ah to ever come back from this. They would never be able to live in peace after knowing that that they're totally fucked because they do they do find the body and they're they're asking a lot of questions. We find out the Frenchman had a wife who's missing him and looking for him. They're separated. But like, come on. Which goes to show like there is so much about this man that Diane Lane did not know.
01:16:34
Speaker
Yeah. He's French. Listen, what did you expect? The French people have a very different attitude about this kind of thing.
01:16:44
Speaker
she sorry. The wife might have been okay with it. I mean, i very well might have if she was also French. I don't know. It was the wind. It was the wind. The wind made them do it.
01:16:55
Speaker
I understand. Why can't you, Richard Gere?
01:17:00
Speaker
i think it's weird this movie's rated so low. fifty 50% seems really low for this movie. I don't think this is a bad movie. think there's dumb shit in it, but I thought it was very enjoyable as far as erotic thrillers go and how well it was shot and how it unfolded, especially the final 30 minutes of the movie is just stress. and It is very stressful because they are so stressed. like and And I've watched enough you know crime-related stuff to know that... like
01:17:32
Speaker
Oh, this guy's totally fucked. He's leaving so much evidence. It's 2002. There's DNA testing now. Your bones. You should have done this crime back in the 70s.
01:17:45
Speaker
Born in the wrong time period. But if he just waits a little bit, 9-11's about to happen and they might just forget about it. It's 2002. 9-11 already did happen. Yeah, but this movie was shot in...
01:17:59
Speaker
like March, 2001. Oh, wow. This came out in 2002. So like these people don't know about nine 11 yet. These characters are, that's why I was like, Oh, that's crazy. If the world trade centers are in there because that hasn't even happened yet.
01:18:14
Speaker
This, I was like, this might be the last like moment of seeing the world trade centers on film before they're looked at in a different way. Wasn't just Chicago, just Chicago. Sorry.
01:18:27
Speaker
I thought it was cool too that the first half of this movie is her movie. this The whole first, like he is a side character. He's in just ah scenes here and there.
01:18:41
Speaker
And then the second half like really digs more into how he's dealing with all of this. I really liked that. We kind of got both sides and it, it equally was their movie and in two halves.
01:18:54
Speaker
So you're saying like Boomtown, it changed perspective. It did! Holy shit! Did we look to see if this was from the writer of Boomtown?
01:19:05
Speaker
And that's why they got that same cop? I mean, Boomtown was like around the same time. I was in high school, I believe, when it came out. um Are we looking this up?
01:19:16
Speaker
I'm Googling to see if Because I mean, I think Adrian Lyon... No, Alan Sargent... Spider-Man 2, Ordinary People, Paper Moon. I'm not seeing Boomtown.
01:19:30
Speaker
Yeah, Boomtown also came out in 2002. It was the exact same year. This man was just being a cop all over the place. He has that cop look to him. What do you want from him?
01:19:42
Speaker
I'm still kind of searching, like, please let there be a Boomtown in here.
01:19:49
Speaker
It looks like one of the writers wrote Spider-Man 2 and the other wrote Castaways. Not quite. That's too bad. No, this was ah this was a fun one. I'm happy that Adrian Lyne did this one.
01:20:04
Speaker
I mean, listen, I do have the DVD box set of Boomtown if you ever want to... you ever want to watch it has Donnie Wahlberg uh Neil McDonough my favorite new kid and uh the guy played um Bubba and Forrest Gump my telkey willinson that guy One of my favorite things to ask people is what's your favorite Neil McDonough vehicle?
01:20:28
Speaker
It's Boomtown. I think of it every single time. He's the prosecutor. You're one of the only people i haven't asked that. And it's insane that you're the only one that would have had it locked and loaded, ready to go.
01:20:40
Speaker
Loaded, ready to go. He's so good in it. um All right. So I think it's time Garrett. You're right. yeah Take her home. Were you aroused scale of one to five?
01:20:53
Speaker
i'll go this was a high one i actually might go i think i'll go four on this the it the sex scenes are really sexy without showing much at first it's not until the bathtub scene we even get nudity which is pretty far in um and as far as like a sex scene somehow being really graphic without nudity this movie really achieved that Yeah, him blowing on her belly button was so intense for her and for us.
01:21:27
Speaker
Her and her mom jeans jerking off in the chair. It was great. Yeah. You know what? um Side ass. It was yeah lot of side ass.
01:21:38
Speaker
No dudes. Not a schlong. Can't give it a full full marks if there's no no schlong. And he looks good with a shirt off, though. So, you know what? Yeah, I'm with you. i would say four.
01:21:49
Speaker
Four sounds good. Yeah, the but i you know the stairwell, the bathroom one. there was like It gives you a little bit throughout it. you know it's like It's sprinkled throughout.
01:22:00
Speaker
That's true. It's not like some where they really front load it with sex and then back load it with thrills. It's back loaded with thrills, but the sex is nicely spaced out between. Adrian Lyne knows what he's doing.
01:22:15
Speaker
He knows what he's doing. master of the craft. right, and so... Garrett, were you thrilled? One to five.
01:22:24
Speaker
I mean, I almost want to give it a four, but it isn't because it really sneaks up on you when it happens. You know it's good. I mean, I'd seen the movie before, too, but I don't know. I'm i'm somewhere between maybe three and a half, but I do feel like maybe it does deserve that four because the tension once he has the body and like how much you feel like he's going to fuck up.
01:22:53
Speaker
Yes. Like you said, everything he's doing feels wrong and that he's going to get caught. And then they are so guilty. You're just like, they're going to get caught, but it just keeps not happening to the point that you like, you're like, what's going to happen?
01:23:06
Speaker
Like, and once you get that note and you like, you feel sympathetic for them again, and you cut, these are two people that by the end, you kind you don't really want anything bad to happen to them.
01:23:19
Speaker
Yeah, you want these crazy kids to to patch it back up and put it back together, but you know it's impossible. Like, it's it's all too fucked at this point. i would I would give it the full...
01:23:32
Speaker
four and a half actually because i we have seen movies that had more thrills in that like you know there's a key killer hiding in the ceiling but never before have they made me feel the tension and put myself in that perspective of being like oh god do I sympathize with what you're going through right now like this sucks and I really feel for like in the moment I feel it like this movie did Good point.
01:24:02
Speaker
There could have been more big things happening, but the the nuance with which they were done is so good that it really draws you in. Yeah, four full agree.
01:24:15
Speaker
Maybe I should have gone higher, but what's done is done. What's done is done. Just like this affair. go get yourself some McDonald's and answer for me, Garrett. Would you ruin your life for this Frenchman?
01:24:27
Speaker
The Frenchman, mean, it's God's will. And I have no choice. Donald McDonald want you to do this. What am I supposed to do? Like defy serendipity and not come?
01:24:42
Speaker
I don't know. No. Yeah, I have to. It's God's will. I'm not as a not religious man. Yes. To me, this would be like, this feels like it was supposed to happen. And then, you know, everything's part of God's plan.
01:24:56
Speaker
You know, who knows? Maybe Richard Gere does something great in prison. God, put that snow globe there. God, put that snow globe there.
01:25:06
Speaker
Well, God instructed Diane Lane to take the snow globe to the house. Oh, that's the missing scene that we really needed was where God told her to give away the snow globe, which still, I do wish we had seen that scene because I want to know what was going through her head because that is wild.
01:25:26
Speaker
God was played by Kirk Cameron, but they cut all those scenes out. Yeah.
01:25:32
Speaker
The audience didn't like it. It goes to show that like she had more emotionally invested in this affair than she looks to have on the surface if she was willing to give him that.
01:25:44
Speaker
But at the same time, plus beat him she she knows almost nothing about him. And yet she's so emotionally invested in this, even though it looks like it's just sex, that she's willing to give him this you know symbol of her love with her husband.
01:26:03
Speaker
Like you said, though, that dude let her take a fucking nap, and that's all she really wanted. So fucking true. If you had to be around that snot-nosed, seat-peeing kid... And your arm-farting husband. Like, yeah.
01:26:18
Speaker
I get it. i get it. Would I ruin my life for this, Frenchman?
01:26:26
Speaker
i don't know,
Humorous Reflections and Personal Insights
01:26:27
Speaker
man. I'm really torn. The book thing is... Mwah! And... Sexy Frenchman. You would be gone so fast, Kit. You were so book horny watching this movie.
01:26:41
Speaker
And I knew that when you saw all those first editions, your mouth started salivating like you were thinking about pie. Like this is... She's loving it, folks.
01:26:54
Speaker
It's true. It's true. French isn't like my favorite accent, but like, it's an accent. And he's got all them books. He's fit.
01:27:08
Speaker
He's got books. And you can't tell me you don't want your bum mashed against any of those surfaces. I do. I do, Garrett. I do. The wind. The wind made me. But it looks so terrible. Like it looks awful.
01:27:25
Speaker
I think what this movie made me want more than anything is to not have um that kid is a son that's what i took away from it is that that kid will ruin your fucking life and she and richard gear might have been happy for forever if not for him wow wow i'm rethinking some things now what if what if i have a kid and he turns out like that little fuck
01:27:51
Speaker
You have no choice but to mash. I have no choice. If I see the Frenchman in the books in the wind, what do you want from me? I'm only human. The thing is, did did ah John watch this with you?
01:28:03
Speaker
He did not. That's the thing is I don't have his perspective on it because he had to ah go to bed early both nights that I watched it over. Okay, so here's what I say. If it does happen,
01:28:17
Speaker
yeah when you have to tell him what happened, just slide him a copy of that. Let him watch it first. okay He'll get it. I think he's going to be like, but it makes having an affair look like super bad Like it makes it like it's pretty clear about like how terrible the consequences will be.
01:28:38
Speaker
And your response will be, no, but the first part with the wind. The first part with the wind and the books. You slide him a s sack of McDonald's and a pack of Marlboros.
01:28:52
Speaker
I love that he is such a bad influence on her that this the Frenchman got her smoking by the end. i want to start up again. this is now Now you're craving McDonald's and a cigarette.
01:29:09
Speaker
Oh, RFK would hate this movie. What are you talking about? She doesn't get the kid vaccinated in it. Not that we see. actually Actually, the vaccine is what went into their brains and made them act all crazy.
01:29:25
Speaker
Oh, now That was more of a, who's the that was an Alex Jones. That wasn't like, the vaccine went into their brains and made them crazy. The fact that you've seen enough Alex Jones that you can do an impression of Alex Jones makes me sad for you, Garrett.
01:29:39
Speaker
How do you miss Alex Jones? By being very intentional with my media consumption. You're telling me that just through Instagram reels, you haven't come across him yelling about their turn in the frogs gay? Okay, did see the one about turning the frogs gay.
01:29:57
Speaker
that's then we've seen the same amount of Alex Jones. You're
01:30:03
Speaker
not wrong. All right. All right. The answer is I feel very conflicted. but yes, I would probably ruin my life for the Frenchman and it would be ruined. And I don't like it. I don't like that I said yes, but I'm saying yes.
01:30:19
Speaker
i did i'm saying yes I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Richard Gere. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Stop turning your shirt inside out and maybe this wouldn't happened.
01:30:34
Speaker
You're Richard Gere. I would have said no to Diane Lane in the opening scene where the kid's pissing on the toilet and he's farting and stuff. But by the time she's wearing those mom jeans and that white shirt and that chair, i was like, oh, yeah. The wind. The wind. The wind.
01:30:54
Speaker
Hey, everybody. Thanks for listening. This was a fun one. I liked this movie. I like when we get to watch a movie with you guys. As always, eroticthrillerclub at gmail.com. Questions, comments, concerns, recommendations, anything.
01:31:08
Speaker
and then at eroticthrillerclub on Instagram. Don't forget to like, subscribe, comment, whatever it is on the your podcatcher of choice.
01:31:20
Speaker
And we'd love to hear from you. So let us know what your ratings are. And most importantly, are you craving McDonald's right now? Oh, but i thought that it's Shamrock Shake season, baby. We just had Patrick's Day.
01:31:38
Speaker
Let's go get one, get some nuggies, and ah just really think about our lives. Hey, everybody. Thanks for listening. We love you. Get fucked and ride the shame train.
01:31:49
Speaker
Have a smoke and some McD's. Wet your snails. We want to shake you naked and eat you were alive. Bye.