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To The Limit (1995)
52 Plays1 month ago
Anna Nicole Smith plays an ex CIA agent out for revenge in this erotic action movie written by John Travolta's older brother. What more could we possibly have to say to convince you to go on this dumb journey with us?
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Transcript
Introduction to the Erotic Thriller Club
00:00:00
Speaker
Ladies, gentlemen, folks beyond the binary, grab your husband, wife, partner, mistress, Philly Bambino, and gather around your radio.
00:00:11
Speaker
It's time for this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club.
00:00:28
Speaker
is antithesis, mysterious and dangerous and oh yes, they've got all the sexiest movies out of the edges. So if you're fatally attracted to the raciest stuff, erotic film club.
00:00:51
Speaker
If you want a raciest movie and you're too classic for smart,
00:01:11
Speaker
Welcome to
Casting Surprises and Character Analysis
00:01:12
Speaker
1995. Ex-CIA agent and Colette Dubois and war vet Frank DaVinci must team up to... Wait. Colette Dubois?
00:01:25
Speaker
Frank DaVinci? 1993 Playmate of the Year, Anna Nicole Smith is playing an ex-CIA agent named Colette Dubois, and John Travolta's brother is playing Frank DaVinci?
00:01:39
Speaker
Yeah, I don't need to hear anymore. Let's just get into this one. This week on the Erotic Thriller Club, to the limit. Hey, everybody. Welcome to this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club.
00:01:50
Speaker
As always, Garrett Gallender and Get Ryan here. And this is where we answer the genre's three most important questions. Was I aroused? Was I thrilled? And would i ruin my life for this person?
00:02:03
Speaker
Garrett, how did you find this nonsense? Tubi provides. Tubi provides. we We merely ask for Tubi's bounty and Tubi giveth.
00:02:19
Speaker
The real answer is over the pandemic, I watched the Anna Nicole Smith movie Skyscraper, which is almost exactly the same plot as the rock movie Skyscraper down to she's a helicopter pilot as well.
00:02:34
Speaker
Stop it. Not joking. Stop it. And I went on Tubi to be like, I kind of want to rewatch he much Skyscraper. And as I was looking, I was like, oh, to the limit.
00:02:46
Speaker
Haven't seen that one. And let me read the tagline on the poster. don't even believe her. I don't think I would believe her if she were playing a porn star.
00:02:58
Speaker
I don't know how I'm expected to believe her as a CIA agent and certainly not as a helicopter pilot.
00:03:07
Speaker
Which one do you think harder? probably i would say a helicopter. Probably helicopter pilot. Because I bet you could get a long way into the CIA at a certain point without getting anything done.
00:03:19
Speaker
oh oh definitely. Definitely. Her code name was Colette. Her mission was danger. And it is her in a pinstripe suit holding a gun up.
Plot and Sequel Connections Discussed
00:03:31
Speaker
Titties out. Also, we got to watch our language. mission was danger. Her mission was danger. Her mission was danger. One more time, please.
00:03:44
Speaker
Her mission was danger. Kit, that description. I've seen this movie two times. The first time I watched it, it wasn't even for the show. It was a like a week or two ago for fun.
00:03:57
Speaker
For me. Just me. It was a little Papa time. And you described the first 20 minutes of it to me, and I was aghast.
00:04:06
Speaker
Having seen it twice now, that might have been her mission. I don't think I understood the mission. It was dangerous. I was so confused through so much of this movie that I do truly believe that mission was danger.
00:04:23
Speaker
But I do need to tell you... About an hour before we started recording, I found out something about this movie that I did not know. Okay. This movie's a sequel.
00:04:37
Speaker
Stop it. To what? we Then why didn't they call it to number two the limit than we all would have known? Da Vinci's War.
00:04:50
Speaker
why There was a movie that was just Joey Travolta. We weren't joking. This movie is John Travolta's older brother. He wrote it, stars in it, plays Frank Da Vinci. Really a master class in naming characters.
00:05:08
Speaker
i ah Okay, does the... Okay. So does the ah is the original movie about his time in Vietnam and they just reused the footage for his Vietnam flashbacks in this movie?
00:05:24
Speaker
i So from what I can tell, it says a traumatized war vet hunts for his sister's killer with the help of his war buddies. Turns out the assassin has government connections, but so do the vets.
00:05:38
Speaker
I'm guessing that means what year? 93? George H.W. was in there kicking ass with him or was that Clinton?
00:05:46
Speaker
Garrett, I was like five years old. How would I know? Well, it sounds like Da Vinci succeeded because he exists now. Was he a mob boss in this movie?
00:05:57
Speaker
He's definitely connected to the mob, which I found fascinating. I have to say, any movie where the lead character that you are supposed to be rooting for is mobbed up, and you are rooting or supposed to be rooting for his mob connections to successfully assassinate the someone in a high ranking position at the CIA is wild.
00:06:24
Speaker
I mean, it very much gives the Godzilla versus Mothra like ah let them fight type thing. like Whoever wins, we both lose. Whoever wins, we all lose.
00:06:34
Speaker
Exactly! but like let them beat each other up and see, maybe we can take whoever's left at the end. LAUGHTER It's not good. And it's wild that this movie thinks that I'm going to be at the end when they're holding a mob guy hostage. The bad guy's got a gun to the mob man's head.
00:06:55
Speaker
And he's like, I'm going to kill your friend, the mob guy, who we already established. Where's mob man? Who we established once assassinated sitting senator.
00:07:07
Speaker
And that's the guy I'm supposed to be like, oh no, don't shoot him. um Oh no. Well, I don't really know what the political climate was in 1995, but, uh, you know, maybe this movie plays better now as a hero's journey than it did.
00:07:30
Speaker
It's wild. Also, the fact that he gives him the advice, like a dead guy who gives him this tape of evidence for who gives a crap ah is like, you should try the FBI to see if they'll help you.
00:07:44
Speaker
They hate the CIA. He doesn't do that, by the way. We do not involve the FBI at all. I don't know why the man even said it. It's not a terrible idea, though. Instead of just, I don't know, only asking your mob connections for help.
00:08:01
Speaker
This war vet who is... Basically, the only reason I think the mob is in this movie is because they got a group of middle-aged...
00:08:13
Speaker
um Italian Americans say ugly, but let's say not conventionally attractive Italian Americans together. And um I think it was a group of guys sitting around a table and they're like, hey, my pal hasn't gotten to touch a titty in a while.
00:08:29
Speaker
What if we give him a sex scene in this movie? What if we watch a bunch of older Italian men get to have sex with young women? ah Why would we want to do that?
00:08:42
Speaker
You're already asking too many questions, sir.
00:08:47
Speaker
Is this a charity case? I wasn't aware. Did someone take up a collection for this movie? This sad 48-year-old man hasn't touched a titty in 20 years.
00:09:01
Speaker
This was a make-a-wish. In the arms of the angels, fly away. This was a make-a-wish for a 57-year-old Italian man named Giovanni. For just 25 cents a day, this man can touch a nipple. 25 cents a day is a good investment on a nipple.
00:09:27
Speaker
I think you'd pay that, too, if you were guaranteed. I'm not guaranteed. This is a collection for some other man get to touch titties. I have no reason to help him.
00:09:39
Speaker
it's We get the Sarah McLachlan dying animals song, but it's just a bunch of sad Italian men making cry faces. And like stroking ah ah centerfolds out of porn that ah magazines, like looking longingly.
00:09:57
Speaker
Just a guy shows his empty hand and points at it and shrugs like, there's no titty in here. There's no titty here.
00:10:07
Speaker
He's got a mug that looks like a set of breasts and he's just holding it sadly. This
Dramatic Elements and Character Portrayals
00:10:15
Speaker
movie. So for your birthday, we did Cruel Intentions, which isn't necessarily an erotic thriller debatable. We kind of had that debate as we as we chatted it.
00:10:28
Speaker
I believe we came down on the side of we don't care. I think that's where I'm at with to the limit as well. um I would say it's more erotic. And how could you say it's not thrilling? Garrett, there is so much stuff that's on fire in this movie.
00:10:47
Speaker
They got a permit to light stuff on fire and they were going to use it. Kit, I say this with no jest. This movie has a higher body count.
00:11:02
Speaker
than nearly any action movie that's been in theaters in the last decade. Like this is like a John Wick action. Do you mean body count in the original sense of dead people or the modern sense of people Anna Nicole has sex with?
00:11:17
Speaker
but and so so dead people but i thought you were gonna make a joke about how every henchman that gets shot in this is in all black wearing a ski mask so it was really just the same five henchmen uh stunt over and over again listen we paid that guy to be on fire and we are gonna show him on fire sir we actually didn't pay him it was a charity event to help this italian guy touch a titty He was so generous to donate ah in-kind ah services rendered for... haven't touched a kitty in how long? Yeah, guys, what do you need, a full body burn? I'm in.
00:11:58
Speaker
I can do that. This movie does not skimp on the violence or stunts. No, it does not. I mean, there's a a guy getting shoved out of a helicopter and then the helicopter explodes.
00:12:12
Speaker
And that's the first five minutes. Is any of that stuff relevant, Garrett? No, no. I don't think 80% of the movie is relevant.
00:12:25
Speaker
No, you're you're absolutely right. At the end, I was just writing notes like, blah, blah, disc, double cross, shootout, shits on fire for no reason again.
00:12:37
Speaker
However, yes, this movie is a pile of dog shit. Oh, it is. This might be the most wild opening 15 to 20 minutes you've ever fucking seen and any movie ever made.
00:12:54
Speaker
ah For so many reasons. Because of the helicopter, because of Joey Travolta's sexy bachelor party with the strippers and the big fake boobies. Don't even get to the- even priest has to confess the next day.
00:13:05
Speaker
No, no, not that. Is that not what you're talking about, Garrett? What part would you like to talk about, Garrett? Okay, so I want to start with the overall villain of this movie. Everyone sucks at acting in this movie, by the way. Oh, God, yes. one is out unscathed. one comes out looking good. No, no, no, no, no.
00:13:21
Speaker
But our bad guy- Mm-hmm. So my theory is that they hired a guy who worked nights at a pirate musical.
00:13:33
Speaker
Explain. And I don't know. He just kind of had piratey facial hair. He's a little like it seemed like a guy who in his off time is maybe a little flamboyant. her and had to try and tone it down to play a military man in this movie who does not come off as a military man even a little bit but he wearing camo pants so they they have cargo pockets it's so handy you can hold so much so many things in there grenades and uh knives
00:14:09
Speaker
So in our main villains layer, which is just an office room, I have to tell you my hundred poor percent favorite thing. Like that I laughed throughout the whole movie about this. So above the desk is a like a lamp hanging from the ceiling. You know, it's like overhead lighting that's hanging by a cord and it's supposed to be like a little ominous, I guess, like a little stylized where the lights going in and out. Cause it's swinging.
00:14:36
Speaker
Oh, yeah, like in an interrogation room with a single bare bulb hanging from the ceiling and it's swaying slightly. This is just two guys sitting at a desk chatting. No one else is in there. Why is it going so hard?
00:14:49
Speaker
It's going so hard. Like, someone, like, really, like, you gotta fling it hard so that we don't have to cut. They've got the AC on and the vent is actually right there. What's that AC set to?
00:15:03
Speaker
Jet engine. Like, it's... It made the lighting insane. Yeah, he cold. And all of the technology, and every time they go back to that room kit, it's swinging that fucking hard. A PA, like, everybody in this movie's a fucking idiot. And I mean the crew, too. Because that's a crew person's fault. someone told him. The director was like, it's not swinging hard enough.
00:15:31
Speaker
joe Joey Travolta wrote in the opening scene, the light swings wildly. Wildly. As if one of them had just stood up and banged their head off of it. And it's like just going from that.
00:15:43
Speaker
Maybe he did. Maybe that's why the guy is so unstable is he keeps getting mild head trauma.
00:15:51
Speaker
If a room of people with concussions had to act, this is like what would happen if you had the cast of Jackass make a serious movie. After filming Jackass 5.
00:16:04
Speaker
Yeah. eat That seems generous. It is too generous. It's too generous. Because the cast of Jackass could figure this out. um They could certainly figure And Knoxville's quick on his feet. Yeah. Like after taking hit.
00:16:20
Speaker
No, this is more like you gathered um just like a random group, like a random sampling of people off the street, then gave them head trauma. then asked them to film a movie and also gave them a lot of breast implants.
00:16:38
Speaker
I'm pretty sure a hundred percent of the casting is they went to a black box theater in l a and everybody who didn't get cast in the play ended up in this movie.
00:16:51
Speaker
yeah Yeah. Yeah. ah So would you like to describe how we're introduced to Anna Nicole? Yeah. Oh, I'm not done with before that because we had the helicopter.
00:17:02
Speaker
A helicopter explodes from Sega Genesis technology. What are you talking about? It looks great. A computer screen shows up of a helicopter getting hit with a missile. I swear to God, they pulled up a cut screen from a Sega Genesis game. It looks really, really good.
00:17:23
Speaker
yeah If you want to get past it. Let's get to what people are. The people are here for. So bachelor party for Frank Da Vinci.
00:17:34
Speaker
I'm never going to not say the whole name. it's aka Joey T Joey Joey Travolta who also was going to cast somebody else in this but just felt he had too much chemistry with Anna Nicole oh he did diddy oh oh okay oh he just so had to be the character that has sex with Anna Nicole Smith So after the bachelor party, when they're confessing their sins for the bachelor party, getting ready for their wedding, Frank Da Vinci's wedding, Anna Nicole's boyfriend in this movie, his name is China Smith, an Italian man named China. Yeah. His name China for reasons.
00:18:25
Speaker
china for ah reasons But the best line in that scene is he's like, I got to go get Colette. She's in the bath. And one of them, one of the men, I believe the priest says, oh, I've heard about Colette's baths.
00:18:43
Speaker
What? Why have you heard about this? Why have you heard about this? Is that because did someone say this to him in confession? In which case, you're not supposed to go talking about that, sir.
00:18:54
Speaker
Did someone tell you this not in confession, just as like casual conversation? That's actually weirder. Did Colette confess it herself? Well, that's even worse for you to be talking about.
00:19:07
Speaker
It is a devilish path. Colette would have to, to confess to it, Colette would have to feel shame. She does not. The sexual scenes in this movie put the runtime of the sex scenes of our previous film, Save Me, to shame.
00:19:26
Speaker
They're so long, Kit. We cut to Anna Nicole Smith. masturbating in the time. can't she's not working the whole time, though, because she is. She is posing. She is doing face. She is doing body. She is moving. She's grooving.
00:19:42
Speaker
She's posing. She is not actually getting off. There is no way in hell. Look at the... Just look at her. Come on now. you... The craziest thing...
00:19:59
Speaker
That is said during this, though, she is face down, ass up in a bathtub masturbating. you And this man opens the door and says, hey, we're going to be late for the wedding.
00:20:12
Speaker
And her response I'm coming. Ba-dun-ta. Cue Ave Maria. Ave Maria, kid!
00:20:24
Speaker
Cue Ave Maria! Ave Maria!
00:20:32
Speaker
as she's continuing to get herself off because she's got a limited amount of time to get it done in.
00:20:40
Speaker
Cutting from the biggest breasts I've ever seen in my life. Immovable objects. Immovable objects. Seriously, i don't I don't think they are, in fact, capable of movement. They are like concrete slams.
00:20:59
Speaker
So traditionally, a gal like Anna is not my type. Mm-hmm. But. But? I need to know for science.
00:21:12
Speaker
For science. Uh-huh. I don't know. Like, I can't even fathom what those feel like. Oh, what? Oh, yeah. No, they they look. Here's the thing. They look bad to touch, Garrett.
00:21:24
Speaker
They don't look good to touch. Great to photograph, though. No. the Photos! Not moving image.
00:21:33
Speaker
The shot where she is riding her boyfriend and she leans so far back that her head disappears and you see her tits rise like the fucking death stars in the mirror and they look so unnatural. They are Cahokia They are... the they're ah mound they are
00:21:59
Speaker
regional jokes thank you they are ah so big and so unnatural and pointing so straight up it is outrageous they look alien like this is not a human body anymore it might as well have been that we were suddenly watching uh uh what's the what's the alien one where the the alien lady fucks people to death Species?
00:22:29
Speaker
Yeah, we were watching Species again. I swear, a chestburster something was about to come out. There was no way those things were ever meant to be part of the human anatomy.
00:22:42
Speaker
So, this specific moment you brought up, the Cahokia Mountains, we will refer to it forever and ever, amen.
00:22:52
Speaker
Kit, you aren't wrong. Like, i I don't know. It was like I was looking at a magic eye and I couldn't quite make out what was happening. Like, yeah, it's like you try to unfocus and focus your eyes and yeah you sit back and you get in closer and it doesn't form a coherent image of a person.
00:23:14
Speaker
So just for the the listeners. So in this scene, she's yeah, she's writing her boyfriend And she is leaned back like about as far as the human body could go. And like Kit said, tits straight up, no head.
00:23:29
Speaker
If you, and we're seeing it through a mirror as well. If you, I actually, I had to sit there and think about it. If you took a freeze frame of that image without me having seen this movie, handed me that photo and said, what are, tell me what you're looking you're looking at.
00:23:48
Speaker
I am not joking. My first guess would maybe be a hidden Mickey at a Disney theme park.
00:23:59
Speaker
It certainly would not be. That is a human woman in coitus. Okay, so I think we got to jump around a little bit on this one just to specifically Anna and and now like the plot matters.
00:24:12
Speaker
Nothing matters. Not even a little bit. Kit, beginning to end of this movie, there's another shower so masturbation scene for no reason.
00:24:23
Speaker
For no one but us. Do not say for no reason. It is for a very obvious reason, and that's that had been at least 10 minutes since anyone's seen a tit. It had, and I was noticing.
00:24:38
Speaker
From the scene where we see her masturbating again in the shower, which I love her shower time. It's where she clears her head And the fact that she first she's using a shower head, which I appreciated for realism.
00:24:52
Speaker
She is doing like an acrobatic sort of half split with one leg up on the wall. That is less realistic. ah But, you know, um I appreciated that we got full frontal. That's always exciting.
00:25:09
Speaker
Not a lot backside from her in this, which because it seems like it is good. Yeah. She's a curvy lady. Very curvy. The most curvy you can be. I think that there's actually probably a different word than curvy.
00:25:20
Speaker
Curvier than you can be because this is not natural.
00:25:26
Speaker
I'm so sorry. I feel like a bad person, but she chose to do this to her body. She wouldn't play mate of the year. Like clearly like she is an attractive person.
00:25:38
Speaker
Watching her have sex in this movie, I was like, no wonder women were not watching porn in the 90s if it looked like this. This is upsetting.
00:25:51
Speaker
Five minutes later, she's in a sex scene. And I'm not joking, Kit. Between shower and that, I rewound to see if I'm making this up.
00:26:03
Speaker
Her tits double in size. They do Yes, they do. i do not. What are you saying? That the water shrank I don't know.
00:26:18
Speaker
did she have, like, did she add a little, little gas to the tank? Like in between, did they have to quit filming for a while? Cause the pirate guy had to like, he had a ah long run on the road with his pirate musicals.
00:26:36
Speaker
no they had to raise more money by sending kids around with like things to collect change for just a quarter a day we can raise the size of these things
00:26:52
Speaker
Garrett, do you know how mad I was, though, in that same sex scene, though, that they had just shown us full frontal Anna Nicole, and then they were showing us more Anna Nicole, and then as soon as the man is supposed to be naked, we were both undercovers.
00:27:07
Speaker
Like, full blanket up to the chin sex scene, because God forbid we see Joey Travolta naked even a little bit. We were not going to see bare shoulder from this man.
00:27:22
Speaker
And I didn't want to. Don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't here being like, oh, I really want to see Joey Travolta naked. But like fair turnabout is fair play, right? Like fair is fair. Good for the goose. Good for the gander. And yet we do not even see a navel.
00:27:39
Speaker
We don't see anything. don't think we see bare leg from him.
00:27:49
Speaker
is an insult to feminism. yeah we can't see that old man ass. We can't see like, there's too many. want to Garrett. no I agree.
00:28:00
Speaker
i for a, well, we didn't give enough quarters in the UNICEF jar to see man. like Apparently not. This was only released theatrically in Germany. Was it really?
00:28:13
Speaker
Cause I would believe it. Oh my god. want to point out there are other things. cause could We have to go back to the bathroom Ave Maria bit because then she is getting dressed so slowly before this wedding and I'm like, lady, there is a time limit she's futzing with her hair.
00:28:33
Speaker
And of all things, in her bathroom, she has a photograph of herself on the counter in the bathroom as if to like look at herself while she's looking at herself in the mirror and i am befuddled by this choice was that a thing though in the late 80s early 90s like didn't like ladies get like vanity shots of themselves and like i feel like i remember as a kid like
00:29:06
Speaker
know like i remember seeing like vanity shots like friends moms like in their house where it's like this is weird like that it's just like you and like nice dresses alone without family members i mean i don't know i guess but i don't think you put it in the room where people shit maybe it's so that she can masturbate while looking at it
00:29:29
Speaker
Obviously she can't touch water without masturbating. That's a mix drinking very hard. um Yes. So, so here's the thing is she gets ready and then her boyfriend wants to have sex with her.
00:29:43
Speaker
And thus the sex scene where, uh, the Cahokia mounds arise into view. And I'm so mad because like, how dare he, ah to say, come on, we're gonna be late, then have sex instead, then nag her again for taking too long to get ready the second time when you're the one who messed up her hair and outfit by choosing to have sex.
00:30:10
Speaker
So when that man's car exploded, I said, good.
00:30:16
Speaker
and The only reason she isn't dead is because she walked back to get a present. I love that she said that, like, that was the excuse for why she was late, though. Well, I was walking back in to get the present.
00:30:29
Speaker
They literally missed the whole wedding, Kit. The whole wedding. His whole wedding, which, by the way, can we mention that Frank Da Vinci is marrying a child bride? Like, that woman he met 100% because she is his granddaughter's best friend.
00:30:47
Speaker
Well, he's war vet. Maybe mob guy. don't know. So what? What, that means that he gets to have himself a little war bride?
00:30:57
Speaker
Actually, that might be his logic. I don't know. he He fought for this country. Point out he's real sad when his child bride gets shot down because this whole wedding gets shot up.
00:31:10
Speaker
This wedding massacre is like... Kill Bill has nothing on what happened to Frank Da Vinci's wedding.
00:31:22
Speaker
the amount of carnage kit. There are like 88. God, there's like eight guys with shotguns, openly blasting bullets into a crowd of children and women with babies.
00:31:36
Speaker
Yes, yes. And then the groomsmen pull out their guns because, of course, they're packing heat here in a Catholic church, jumping out of the wedding in their tuxedos.
00:31:47
Speaker
Of course, they're prepared to to throw down at a moment's notice, so they're firing back. It's amazing. What happened at this wedding feels like the description but happens in the John Wick movies of like the bodies he buried that day laid the foundation for everything we became.
00:32:09
Speaker
Everybody's dead. Everybody's dead. And it's wild because they don't even manage to kill the guy they came here to kill. They came here to kill one guy. They open fired into a full ass crowd and killed everyone but him.
00:32:25
Speaker
Hey, if you guys know how to put a car bomb in a car, why didn't you just do that with the limo that he was going to presumably drive out of there that had the cans and the just married sign on the back?
00:32:37
Speaker
Put a car bomb in there.
00:32:41
Speaker
So don't make it sound like da Vinci didn't get shot. He did A bunch of times. ah but they specified, you can't kill Frank Da Vinci.
00:32:53
Speaker
Would you like to know why I wrote it down? Because it was pretty great. ah The bad guy ah is told, you know, he finds out that his team didn't do a good job.
00:33:03
Speaker
And she's like, I put six bullets in the guy. And he says, you don't know, Frank. He's a man. And he's fast.
00:33:14
Speaker
So therefore, I guess, nope, nope, that's not what he said. I looked at the subtitles just to be sure I anything because that didn't, to me, seem like a good reason why you would survive multiple gunshot wounds.
00:33:30
Speaker
oh Kit, the scene you're currently talking about, just keep talking about weird for so many different reasons. That's the least of our problems is this conversation you just discussed.
00:33:44
Speaker
Keep it going. let's Where does it go, Kit? oh Well, ah he's real mad at the the lady ah assassin. Pretty lady assassin. failure The pretty lady assassin. So he's like, I'm going strangle you for your failure, but I do want to see your boobies first.
00:34:00
Speaker
So he takes her shirt off and then strangles her.
00:34:06
Speaker
What? And like, she looked like she was into it for a little bit. She was. She thought that he was mad. And so like, for your failure, I'm going to grab your titties. And she was like, that doesn't sound so bad, actually. Okay.
00:34:19
Speaker
And then, no, it was actually, I'm going to touch your titties and then strangle you.
00:34:28
Speaker
You don't know Frank DaVinci. I literally don't. I guess I should have watched the first one. You should have watched the first movie, apparently. i didn't know. want to point out that, like, car explodes, this has a great man on fire, and then ah we also see Anna Nicole Smith freaking out about, you know, the fact that her boyfriend just got exploded, and she is doing the most hilarious fake freakout, like, handshaking, screaming.
00:34:59
Speaker
It's so bad. delicious and then we yeah also got frank being taken to the hospital where we see his niece saying i don't want a soda i want uncle frank and i just started cackling there were so many things about this there are so many little juicy details like the doctor coming back in from the surgery and he is now covered in blood
00:35:28
Speaker
My man, you couldn't change your scrubs before you went to talk to the family.
00:35:35
Speaker
But, well, he he was quick to say, Frank's okay now. Like, yeah don't worry about all this carnage on me. This is different carnage.
00:35:47
Speaker
He looked like he just came from that wedding. did look like he just came from the wedding. And then we get like a non-flashback because ah his his Native American buddy, the one non-Italian in this entire movie, I guess, is like, ah you don't know about him. He thinks he's cursed because he screamed, no, don't, after accidentally killing a little girl in NOM.
00:36:16
Speaker
kit the nom flashback is wild he holds that girl for such an in depth like a strange indefinite amount of time and then screams no don't we're maybe 20 minutes into this movie and at least 40 people have died on screen
00:36:43
Speaker
Yes, he screams no, don't. It's a real Vader in the lava world. like it's No. Also, don't. Don't what? Don't die? Don't what?
00:36:57
Speaker
He's yelling at past Frank to don't shoot the little girl. Christ. Don't write this, Joey. Don't write this.
00:37:10
Speaker
no i I want to go back. So you brought up Anna Nicole's reaction. oh Yeah. And how it was way big. It was super big.
00:37:21
Speaker
Her acting style is everything. Style is a bold word. Style is a very strong word. Too big or not enough.
00:37:33
Speaker
She reacts way too small to things that are worse later, I feel like. Yes, that is true. That is 100% true. Oh, shit. Fuck. Oh, shit. That is an actual bit of dialogue said like eight times.
00:37:47
Speaker
Oh, shit. Fuck. Oh, shit. I also kept a running counter because this movie is so badly written of how many times someone tells Frank it's going to be okay.
00:38:01
Speaker
nine. I'm not kidding. It's nine. Nine times someone just says, Frank, it's gonna be okay.
00:38:12
Speaker
yeah Well, after the little girl thing, he's like, he needs reassured a lot because that did not get okay. He needs reassurance. That's true. Watching him and Nam, watching, because this guy's like, this actor's like 47, which he looks 75. He looks 75, which is why the child bride looks especially egregious.
Wardrobe and Physicality in the Film
00:38:32
Speaker
Is he really only 47? He is so... In this movie, he's 47. No. He looks so He looks like i
00:38:44
Speaker
i I... He's only in his 70s now. I cannot wrap my head around that. I assumed he was dead. same Same! No part of me thought this man was still alive. assumed he had at most five years left after this. He don't look so good. That's why i had to get the titty touching in in 95!
00:39:05
Speaker
That's why we took up a collection! Do you think you lied so that we would take up this collection for him? Did you know that GoFundMe's first campaign was this?
00:39:20
Speaker
Damn it. Okay, so Anna Nicole Smith gets attacked by people while she's in the hotel in her jammies. And she steals a cop car.
00:39:34
Speaker
When she walks into the hotel, her dress is already half off. Yeah. Did you notice that? Like, it's already just, fault like, she falls out of the dress. yeah What happened there?
00:39:45
Speaker
Just no time? No time. No time. Okay, sorry, go ahead. That's not important. It's not as important as the fact that there's apparently like a grenade in this cop car because she like tosses something out the window and then the guys following her explode.
00:40:01
Speaker
um And also then there's a helicopter in her way and her bright idea is to speed up the car and drive it into the chopper and then the chopper explodes and her car is fine.
00:40:22
Speaker
Yeah. Because I guess the helicopter was made out of paper mache something. So I've got a couple theories.
00:40:33
Speaker
Okay, go ahead. Yeah, let me hear them. The ease, at which like you said, it could have been paper mache. It could have been a pane of glass. But either way, like it is still a coyote style, ah you know, just a matte painting.
00:40:48
Speaker
h Yeah, no, that actually would make more sense than anything. She does drive straight through a burning hunk of metal, though, with zero problems. Like it is the it's actually it's least of our worries in this whole movie. She just killed like eight. Like, no, I think it'd be like probably like five guys in her hotel room, ah one of which called her a bitch. And she says, fuck, you shoot him in the face twice.
00:41:10
Speaker
i Love that for her. Love that for her. Either that helicopter was made of a pane of glass or hear me out. Hear me out. don't read Don't deny this so quick. Maybe that helicopter was a fucking ghost.
00:41:24
Speaker
I'm calling ghoul on the helicopter kit. Are you saying this helicopter was the ghost of the helicopter that exploded in the first like five minutes? It didn't get enough time. it got, it got killed by Sega Genesis.
00:41:37
Speaker
It needed to show. Also, I feel like they rented a helicopter for this movie and they were like, oh we're not just going to only use it in the one scene, are we? Let's blow it twice. It honestly looked like they straight up blew up a real helicopter twice. they like The car crashes in this movie are quite epic. like They yeah absolutely didn't skimp on stunts. like How dangerous some of the stunts were.
00:42:04
Speaker
yeah And just vehicular carnage. Mm-hmm. So your argument is that you're calling ghoul, but this time on a helicopter. sir I've learned from watching all of these movies that the ghouls come from when from where you least expect it.
00:42:23
Speaker
And I... Kit, tell me this. Tell me this. Was it fucking stupid when Christine was a ghoul?
00:42:32
Speaker
Stephen King wrote whole fucking car ghoul. Are you telling me... That Joey Travolta, John Travolta's eldest sibling, can't ride a ghoul aircraft.
00:42:47
Speaker
Yes. yeah I just saw a lot of people tuned out of our podcast now. Like he called ghoul on a helicopter. i' come back come back and come back and come Garrett, you've got ah do you have evidence to to support this claim or are you just you just calling ghoul at everything now?
00:43:03
Speaker
Like one so once you've popped your ghoul cherry, you just want ghoul all the time. You slut. You ghoul slut.
00:43:14
Speaker
I like a surprise and I like when that surprise is a ghoul. Okay. I am. Okay. I'll take the ghoul card back. If you're telling me that now was an inappropriate time to pull it, but I'm just saying.
00:43:29
Speaker
but hell Those helicopters are the dumbest thing. Is it more inappropriate than the fact that she drove a car into a helicopter and the car the with no damage whatsoever ah no garrett i actually think feel like your thing is equally as stupid congratulations to get us out of this maybe we see some titties again maybe an italian guy fucks lady while we get to hear him complain about the stock market and basketball
00:44:02
Speaker
Yeah, stock market and basketball. And then he literally throws her off of him. This is why you don't watch the news while you're having sex. It's too distracting.
00:44:14
Speaker
Don't do that to yourself.
00:44:19
Speaker
um Sorry, I'm like looking back at my notes and I'm just realizing like however far we are into this. So maybe 20 at the wedding, 20 in Nam, five in her hotel room, however many in this car chase.
00:44:32
Speaker
We're no joke in the first 30 minutes around 50, 60 bodies. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of dead people. She has literally seen more death than, like, she hasn't even had that many lines. She's CIA Garrett, it's a good thing she doesn't have many lines.
00:44:49
Speaker
When she finally gets a scene with Frank and starts talking to him about, like, by the way, I'm a CIA agent, I was like, oh, that's why they haven't let her talk so far.
00:45:01
Speaker
She's really bad at it. kid i would pay good money to sit through a master class of joey travolta and anna nicole smith telling us about their craft of acting in like what it takes that seems insane insane like i felt like when i die they're gonna show me all the minutes i wasted not doing something meaningful Yeah, the time you could have spent with your family or
00:45:33
Speaker
raising money for old Italian-American men to touch boobs. You could have been part of that. Collecting books of canceled authors to put in ah in one of those like mobile libraries that you see at park. like Little library. Yeah, that could have been you.
00:45:49
Speaker
That could have been you. But instead, you did this. And how you going to feel about it when St. Peter's showing you this?
00:45:59
Speaker
He's like, did you really think the helicopter was a ghoul?
00:46:05
Speaker
No, I just thought it was a good bit. St. Peter, I'm sorry. It was a goof. You got me.
00:46:12
Speaker
you've got me
00:46:15
Speaker
Uh, yeah, so the mobsters are gonna watch out for Frankie. And this is when you first realize that, like, oh, no, Frankie doesn't just know, like, one mobster.
00:46:27
Speaker
Frankie is connected to I have to just have a brief moment to describe Anna Nicole Smith's outfit when she drives up to the hospital to try to see Frankie.
00:46:40
Speaker
Take more than a brief moment. Take 90 minutes if you need. The beret, the sunglasses, the green letterman jacket, the brown... sort of palazzo pants with like a little check pattern on them the black driving gloves and the driving a scarf that's the type specifically designed to sort of flutter dramatically behind you if you're in a um like a ah car with the top down which
00:47:14
Speaker
That is the wildest outfit. The little red beret in particular is such a choice. It really, really does. And in every other scene in this movie, she's just in cute little cocktail dress, jammies, oversized sweater with no pants.
00:47:35
Speaker
Like, she's dressed to be sexy. And in this, she is dressed to be... have no idea If they're like dressed for the job you want, I don't know what that is.
00:47:52
Speaker
Just in general, talking about her outfits and you did cover most of them. I loved giant sweater. Like giant sweater. No pants. It was great. Every time she pulled her arms up to fire a gun, you got a little ass.
00:48:05
Speaker
That's a great detail. hmm. Mm hmm. They did such a crazy job, though, because you would think she's not dressed super sexy throughout this entire movie. like tradition Like, they're not showing off that she's the curve. Like, we need to find a new word instead of curvy.
00:48:23
Speaker
We never found it. We just went off on the the mounds. they Well, we got there. Cahokia Mounds. Cahokia Mounds. I don't know. Maybe we should pull up a thesaurus. Is there a word that's like beyond?
00:48:36
Speaker
Not our class because our glass does not cover the the sheer breadth of what we're talking about here. But they it's almost like, like we well, we can't like have her in a tight shirt because you won't take her character's pain seriously. Seriously. And you need to know that she's a serious secret agent in her jammies.
00:49:03
Speaker
It did work for me every time, though, because when the clothes finally came off and I would see the most insane... human physique I've ever seen in my whole life. Human's a strong word for for that, but yes.
00:49:19
Speaker
I don't know. i don't know if I was horny. I don't know if I was... I don't know, Kit. hey She made me feel things I've never felt, but it's more confusing.
00:49:34
Speaker
You saw those cahokia mounds and you just couldn't help yourself. Immovable. I want him to move a little. ah Like the eye of God himself.
00:49:46
Speaker
Unchanging, unever-fixed mark.
00:49:53
Speaker
it's like It's like she got Medusa'd in the chest. Yeah, she didn't look at Medusa, but her nipples did. Like I said, they got me curious. They got me like, for the name of science, I don't know.
00:50:11
Speaker
I'm just saying their decision to make her in like baggy clothes and to like take my brain away from top and bottom worked every time that when I saw them, I saw like i i swear God they'd level them.
00:50:26
Speaker
I love a girl in an oversized sweater and no pants. We all are here for this. We all love it. Love it. However, if she takes that sweater off and the Cahokia mounds are underneath, I have other feelings.
00:50:46
Speaker
Is it like a Wilhelm scream? like
00:50:51
Speaker
As you hurl yourself out of the... Are you gonna leave? um I'm not gonna leave. I'm just... I'm not gonna get off either.
00:51:04
Speaker
You're not? You don't think so? No. No. Absolutely not. This seems so mean to say because like we know so much about her because of the show and the drugs.
00:51:17
Speaker
i didn't actually watch or read anything about um her life other than I know that it's fairly tragic. But also she married that guy and got a lot of money.
00:51:29
Speaker
yeah because he was very old and it was like 14 years of or 14 months of marriage so she didn't put in a ton of work to earn that money but like did this start the trend of old grossies for her were there more old grossies well there was frank bench and then it made her more she fucks frank davenchy now Even though husband's dead. Under the blankets with it pulled up to their chins so that no one can see a single centimeter of Frank's body.
00:52:03
Speaker
I'll tell you this. I couldn't see anything under there, but I know his socks were on. On, 100%. Speaking of socks being on, did you know when um the sexy masseuse assassin comes for Joey Bambino that she is topless, ah only underwear, and then black socks and loafers?
00:52:28
Speaker
Yeah. oh it was no i did not it was a choice i mean listen that girl had the most normal looking boobs in the whole movie i was ah totally excited to see breath of fresh air ah but then i saw the shoes which were on the bed by the way so okay he sucks I would fucking dirty his sheets given the opportunity. like You know what? She was about to light that bed on fire. So I suppose it's not that big a deal that the shoes were on the bed. Now that I'm thinking about it, I take that.
00:53:06
Speaker
I take that complaint back. she also like was on his back topless. He never saw it. She's behind him. She could have done anything to kill him. It was her choice to roll him over and make out with him before she lit him on fire.
00:53:22
Speaker
She could have like dodged that bullet, She could have strangled him for mine, stabbed him in the yeah back of the head. Garrett, but we didn't raise all that money by sending those kids out trick-or-treating for UNICEF so that this man wouldn't get to make out with the hot lady.
00:53:40
Speaker
and actually, you're 100% right, Kit. I am a fool. I forgot. The entire premise! Yeah. It's like this is a, this movie, all the proceeds to it went to supply more quarters to other gross Italian men to touch boobs down the line.
00:53:59
Speaker
Yes. huh And that's beautiful. That's a gift that keeps on giving. Yeah, I think and think that's going to be some friend's gift next year is that like your there was a donation was made in your name to the ah but Da Vinci Fund. I swear to God, Garrett, at your funeral, it'd be like, in lieu of flowers, please make a donation to the Da Vinci Fund, which will help old, gross men touch boobies again.
00:54:28
Speaker
But it sounds like it's an art-like fund. Absolutely it does. So people who don't look too carefully will donate. Okay, now have to talk about Vegas though. she pulled up in the beret. Yeah. what One last, one last with the beret. One last thing with the beret?
00:54:47
Speaker
She's sitting there and she goes, Philly Bambino? In the Anna Nicole Smith voice. And My wife and I have been saying Philly Bambino for about weeks since I've watched this.
00:55:01
Speaker
Like it comes up nearly daily. Philly Bambino? wait, you think Philly is called Philly for the same reasons that like China is called China? like maybe they visited there once and they got that nickname ever since.
00:55:17
Speaker
Yeah. ah that would That would also explain Boise Primavera.
00:55:27
Speaker
um that's why they call him orlando bloom didn't you know
00:55:36
Speaker
ah dallas unlimited breadsticks
00:55:41
Speaker
Okay, so yeah, there's a lady assassin, because there's a lot of sexy lady assassins, and this one's dressed as a doctor, and she puts green food coloring into Frankie's IV.
00:55:56
Speaker
but You can't kill that motherfucker, can't you? can't can't kill Frank Dimitri! He's a man, and he's fast! Meaning, I guess he's fast! He ripped the IV out real quick.
00:56:10
Speaker
He's so slow in that Vietnam flashback, kid. He's so fucking slow. wrote himself a Rambo scene and he's so goddamn... That's the best part of it is how fucking slow he is.
00:56:21
Speaker
And he's like, well, i have to make up for it by somebody calling me fast. You fucking idiot. I just love that that was the best fucking adjective they could come up with for why this man's unkillable.
00:56:36
Speaker
My brother just did what ah what was the there was a broken arrow had just come out. That was a great action movie. Same year, I think. And he's like, I got to I got compete.
00:56:47
Speaker
I got to compete. Otherwise, Thanksgiving is going to be unbearable. Have you heard of Frank Da Vinci? ah Fast giant cock. Yeah, I know him. Every bit of dialogue.
00:57:00
Speaker
Garrett, you say that, but they do actually make a joke about how his character has a giant cock. Get the fuck out. I missed that. Yeah, bro. Yeah. They make a joke about how he always holds his gun with two hands.
00:57:13
Speaker
And then they're like, yeah, you wish you had to use two hands like Frankie.
00:57:19
Speaker
Talking about his cock. Damn it. He wrote the movie. passive gomer He wrote the movie. I know. I'm aware. Not that you said it. I wasn't aware when I watched it, but a lot of things make sense now. Yeah.
00:57:33
Speaker
Can we please talk about the Vegas scenes? I have to talk about these showgirls. The worst showgirls of all time. god. cannot move, cannot dance, cannot even stay on beat.
00:57:45
Speaker
It was like watch- like I swear for a moment I was briefly transported that this was in fact a David Lynch production and they were bad on purpose. That this was like an episode of Twin Peaks and that these showgirls were supposed to be awkwardly terrible.
00:58:03
Speaker
But no, everyone in the audience is clapping and so happy to see them. Twin Peaks also could describe the Koka Mounds. Yes!
00:58:15
Speaker
Not peaky enough, though. More Moundy. You're right. Sorry. Bad joke. More Moundy. mo yeah uh they were so bad and it made me cackle i had like and they kept cutting back to them and every time they were not in time with each other and they weren't doing complicated dance moves and i say this as someone who is a very bad dancer i did ballet for 10 years and when i was done um i was like 15 years old, and I said to my mom, who, by the way, was accepted to Juilliard, so she would know.
00:58:51
Speaker
said, Mom, I was never any good at ballet, was i And she said, No, sweetie, but you look very cute in the tutus. I bet you did, though.
00:59:03
Speaker
I did. I had curly little sherry like Shirley Temple ringlets and a tutu. It looked great. But point is, I can't dance. What the fuck? were they doing?
00:59:14
Speaker
They weren't even being required to dance. They were being ah required to walk at the same time and they could not do it. And like, where did you get these women? You can hire strippers.
00:59:26
Speaker
Strippers know how to dance. Is that not a thing? If what you needed was ladies with big boobs. That's actually insane. And you, you are correct. Cause it's where it's like all the actors were people who didn't get cast in the local production of the of fucking Les Mis or whatever.
00:59:45
Speaker
ah want to say R-Town. The dancers are like, the real R-Town. Meaning they weren't even good enough to play to play one of the dead bodies in the cemetery scene.
01:00:01
Speaker
but But you're right. Like literally just hire porn stars for these roles. higher pi Yeah, it's not hard. We've watched plenty of movies, Garrett, where they have hired actual strippers two but to to populate scenes where you need sexy ladies.
01:00:20
Speaker
It's not difficult. it's an but i mean honestly the casting of the whole movie is insane this the on the trajectory of this podcast really needs to pivot into us finding a single person who worked on any of these productions of some of this shit and like really get some behind the scenes like somebody worked on meridian somebody please We need to find the caterer of a Meridian to be like, i was just sitting there watching like, what the fuck? what the And then they brought in the little guy and they had him up on the table.
01:00:54
Speaker
And he wouldn't quit eating all the jelly beans. I had to keep restocking them.
01:01:01
Speaker
The point is Frank's feeling better now. He walks with a cane, but is otherwise okay. Don't even worry about it. Four to six gunshot wounds, uh, food coloring in his IV. Can't keep a good man down.
01:01:17
Speaker
Do they sneak him out? Like he's a dead body and they're talking to the dead body. Yes, yes, they did. They put him in a van. and there And that was one of the many times that they said, it's going to be okay, Frank.
01:01:32
Speaker
You got a giant cock in your face. Nothing bad's going ever happen to you. Nothing bad can happen to you. You got the mob looking out for you. So as I was reading about it, tell me, um there's i do not remember this happening.
01:01:47
Speaker
At any point in your brain, was there a six-month time lapse? No, absolutely not. No, it it looked like it happened immediately. That like he was just back up at the next day. Looking at the the wiki plot description, somebody towards the end says that there is a six-month lapse between him and Anna Nicole Smith seeing each other in this.
01:02:14
Speaker
And everything just seems like it's like one after another scene. like Nothing... There was some no title card. There was no anything, and which means by the way, that he hadn't seen his niece for like six months. So no wonder she was kind of like upset about like, I don't want a soda. I want to see uncle Frank was the thing that John and I kept saying to each other, just like you guys in your Philly Bambino, Philly Bambino, China Smith.
01:02:47
Speaker
Um,
01:02:50
Speaker
Throughout all of this, though, Kit, as you and I have been talking for over an hour at this point, have we talked about the plot? I cannot believe this. Does the listener at this point have any idea what this movie is about? Because I spent the majority of it not really knowing. Not knowing what the movie is about. They do not make it.
01:03:07
Speaker
It is in the next scene that you they even bother to explain it.
Plot Confusion and Climax
01:03:11
Speaker
Like who tried to kill him and why. Which is insane.
01:03:17
Speaker
like understand or care. like i think I just didn't care enough to like retain is the problem. She's like, listen, Frank, I'm an agent.
01:03:31
Speaker
And it's like, whoa. And he she works for the CIA and ah her boss is the pirate musical man or former boss and apparently...
01:03:47
Speaker
Her boyfriend, China, had a tape that had information that proved that he was the one who did bad things in Nam that Frank also knows about.
01:04:01
Speaker
So that's why he wanted people to kill China and Frank Da Vinci. And then there was a disc... A CD-ROM, please. Say what it is. A CD-ROM.
01:04:14
Speaker
A CD-ROM that has like the evidence on it that this man did some nom crime that is not important. i don't It's not important at all. I think even if we paused the TV and read what was on the disc when we see the screen, which mostly looked like stills from the movie where we were watching...
01:04:42
Speaker
I'm not joking. The the picture was it. I'm sure at least one or two was a still from the previous movie so that they could get extra use out of it. Waste not want not, Garrett.
01:04:53
Speaker
That's recycling, which is good for the environment. I mean, Michael Bay reused so much of that shit from, what was it, Transformers in Pearl Harbor or vice versa. He really?
01:05:05
Speaker
He did. And I actually think that's pretty resourceful because there's a lot of waste in those movies. So yeah, ah she misses her boyfriend, China. misses his child bride and they're going to comfort each other, but not have sex just yet. And she talks so much in this scene and it is, this is the one that you wanted to to to watch them explain on like an inside the actor studio style interview about their their method their craft here you think they go with a um like a Stanislavski style of of prep for this or do you think they went full method and she ah you know sort trained at being a CIA agent in order to really get into the role do you think Garrett
01:05:57
Speaker
I think they were both on so much cocaine that day that they were having a hard time reading the cue cards that were written for them out of the corner of their eye. yeah I mean, you talk about the bad acting in this movie. And as much as I ah joke about the child bride, child bride couldn't get her lines right when it was just like, I take you to be my husband in the name of the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit. She could not get that right.
01:06:24
Speaker
And that was the take they used. So I imagine there were many worse takes where she got it completely wrong. And there's just like a lot of misspeaking where people say like the I'm trying to think it was the Native American guy. This is spot on film, Garrett. You can't. You don't get it.
01:06:43
Speaker
You only get so much. orders or The quarters are running out. We only have so much money and we need to spend it to pay the ladies to let the men touch their boobies.
01:06:58
Speaker
Because they're not going to do that. They did. um my God. They got paid in a sack of change. change
01:07:07
Speaker
They couldn't even put it rolls. You're going have roll these yourselves if want to. This is before Coinstar.
01:07:17
Speaker
i hate this movie. I love it. I actually very much. really bad we i had a lot of fun, but it's very bad. It's like Tommy was so level. Like this guy sucks.
01:07:30
Speaker
Joey Travolta. and like, this is nepotism at the highest level. Like yeah it is, it is a man full talentless, full talentless. Like at least like some of the current, like there's so many Nepo babies in our current generation of new actors.
01:07:46
Speaker
And a lot of them are pretty good. Brian Cranston's daughter, right, is in the pit. She's great. Which one was she? She's Dr. King, the the one with the neurodivergent sister.
01:08:03
Speaker
She was my favorite character. I had no idea that was Cranston's kid until this moment. Right. um No, that was great. And then like we got Dennis Quaid's kid has been great and stuff recently. It's doing some stuff.
01:08:16
Speaker
i don't mind it. it's It's fine. What's the Independence Day president? I can't think of his name. Bill Pullman's kid has been good and stuff recently. But then you get this guy who used his his Nepo baby powers, his nepotism,
01:08:33
Speaker
To be able to touch a titty. That's all he did. that's actually It's gross. It's gross. You didn't use it to give yourself a career where you would work in exchange for money. and You're just jealous you didn't think of it first.
01:08:50
Speaker
Aren't we all, Garrett? Aren't we all? Garrett, I'm not jealous I didn't think of it because of course I've thought of it. I'm just jealous I don't have the connections to make it happen that John Travolta is not my brother.
01:09:03
Speaker
And you're mad too. Somewhere out there, there's an even shittier Skarsgรฅrd just currently pinning his titty-touching script. He's just all these fucking handsome Vikings standing around, and like, and I'm gross, and I'm gonna touch a titty, and nobody can stop me. just wanna touch nipple.
01:09:24
Speaker
If you be in my movie, you might meet Alexander. Really? Really? bill or the third one if it's if it's if we get down to it but
01:09:37
Speaker
but god damn it um god they show her in an insert the editor is so mean they show her typing with two fingers garrett that's the and yeah that's the editor's fucking problem he had a lot no that is not him Or her.
01:09:57
Speaker
Probably him. Somebody made the choice. They didn't have to. They could have just shown the screen where she's looking at the thing and then like like when you're showing somebody playing the piano and the actor doesn't actually play the piano, they could have done that. Instead, they cut to her fingers two fingers, Hunt and Peck for the keys.
01:10:17
Speaker
It's 95. They weren't teaching typing classes on a computer yet, right? So what? Hire a secretary with nice fingers. Give her a a free a trip to the nail salon. Have her do an insert shot of typing.
01:10:33
Speaker
Then it looks like she's a real CIA agent.
01:10:38
Speaker
Hey, I'm pulling up the editors. They don't make Vin Diesel do all the insert shots of shifting gears in Fast and Furious, okay? Like, they didn't need Anna Nicole Smith to be the one doing the little hunt and peck typing.
01:10:54
Speaker
We might actually be able to... I'm in the editor's IMDb right now, by the way. You're talking about John Dagan. ah Show some goddamn respect, Kit. He did... at one episode of hoarders in 2010. Um, but I'm seeing some heat. This is not his first, uh, first dive into the, the titty action movie.
01:11:18
Speaker
And I think I see at least three other movies in this man's filmography alone that we'll be covering soon. So we'll tell me the poster of hard vice. oh dang. Okay. Okay.
01:11:31
Speaker
Yeah, okay, yeah, listen. We'll see if the trend continues in his other movies. Director of Hard Vice. Joey Travolta!
01:11:43
Speaker
So this this editor is Joey Travolta's main man. This is Buddy. He got to touch a titty, too, because he also didn't get paid. Oh, okay, good. In the arms of angels...
01:11:59
Speaker
Um, so, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The mob kills the doctor assassin, and so the the war of ah bad people versus worse people is is is going.
01:12:14
Speaker
We see your guy ah with the swinging a little light bulb but i also ah get to smoke opium out of an extraordinarily long pipe.
01:12:29
Speaker
Is that an opium pipe? I assumed it was. I said the same.
01:12:36
Speaker
my Listen, my knowledge of of of opium pipes is pretty limited to like ah Sherlock Holmes novels and Tintin comic books type of deal.
01:12:51
Speaker
So I don't know a lot. Do you think there was a conversation where they're like I don't know, it needs to be like the Cruella de Vil cigarette, but longer so he's more evil.
01:13:02
Speaker
More evil and make it more obvious that this is not a tobacco pipe, but like a drug thing. He's got something going on. It turns out there was a lady in that room the whole time pouring, who put pours hot wax on him and whips him because why why the hell not?
01:13:21
Speaker
why Why not? Just get us a quick quick little dominatrix shot in there. We haven't seen anything sexy in seconds, minutes.
01:13:31
Speaker
Seconds, absolutely. um So then Father, what's his name, ah sees that Frankie's niece made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
01:13:43
Speaker
And he screams, oh, God. Yeah. here yeah Don't pass this scene yet. Don't pass it.
01:13:55
Speaker
Don't ever let this scene end. Don't ever let it go.
01:14:01
Speaker
Yeah, you liked the PB&J. Oh, Mary? Mary? Oh, God. mary mary oh god like You're underselling the Literally all he sees is that the bread is out and she didn't like wrap up the bread when she was done. and the And like, because here's the thing is like, he had been like, Mary, you have to eat or you'll die.
01:14:30
Speaker
And she's like, I don't want to eat. I want Uncle Frank. And you'd think he'd be glad she made a PB&J. This is a good sign. Is it not?
01:14:41
Speaker
No. Oh, God.
01:14:47
Speaker
My kitchen counter had the exact same items on them in the exact same manner. And I never even considered that my wife and kid were dead. ah been killed by a rogue CIA agent that hadn't occurred to you when this man walked in and saw that was saying Mary I didn't know who he was and I didn't know who Mary was you thought he was talking to the mother of God remembered Mary because of I don't want a soda I want Uncle Frank was still burned into my brain
01:15:29
Speaker
I didn't remember her name. I thought this was an editor fuck up and this was a scene from a different movie.
01:15:38
Speaker
Nobody noticed. Some movie where the the context would have made much more sense of why this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She always puts it away.
01:15:49
Speaker
She always puts it away. She has to put it away. we need a flashback to understand this scene. This doesn't have enough context for me. Like this made me feel insane.
01:16:02
Speaker
And then he manages to call Frank despite the fact that Frank is at Anna Nicole's secret cabin in the mountains. He calls the house phone at Anna Nicole's secret cabin in the mountains. And she's like, uh, it's for you.
01:16:16
Speaker
How did, listen, I know how things worked in 1995. I was alive then. there this cheap No one called him on a cell phone. There is no way that that man knew how to reach Frank.
01:16:30
Speaker
one Except God told him. God told him how to find him. He prayed. And God said, tell this man that his niece made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and is therefore almost certainly dead.
01:16:46
Speaker
She's not. She's fine. She's not. Wasn't it so... Were you as delighted as I was when it turned out that that PB&J went into her little pink backpack and then she put her flower hat on and just got on a goddamn bus?
01:17:04
Speaker
Kit, I felt like I accidentally took a hit of that opium pipe. And like, when I saw her show back up... I thought, I didn't recognize her. I thought, oh, this is an assassin. This is a child assassin.
01:17:19
Speaker
And this movie is dumb as fuck. Get him to pull a gun out of her little pink backpack and try to kill Frank. She's another sexy masseuse.
01:17:30
Speaker
But she wasn't sexy. She was a fucking child. I want to make that that clear. Very clear. Kit, this movie sucks. Everything sucks. Like at a certain point they ran out of tits to show and said, I guess we just need to hurry up and get this over with. We need to get it over with. There are some other great things. So there was another car chase ah where they crashed through the construction site.
01:17:56
Speaker
ah There's more oh shit. There's more oh shit. There's more it's going to be okay, Franks, in here. And then there's my favorite part where the guys chasing them, their car blows up.
01:18:11
Speaker
And Frank's response is, I think we lost them.
01:18:17
Speaker
he He just means the world. like we Like, their souls have left their body. Their souls have left their bodies. We have lost them. They are in hell now.
01:18:30
Speaker
This is going to be ptsd for you for the next movie. You did not use excellent driving skills to lose your pursuers. Their car blew up.
01:18:42
Speaker
They sploded. They sploded. Also, there's such random shit. The menacing man with a straw. do Did you die looking at the menacing man watching the mobsters talk who just has a bright red straw that he's drinking a drink with as he stares?
01:19:05
Speaker
I don't know who that man is. I don't think he even came back as a character. don't He's just there looking menacing, which is hard to do when you're drinking out of a little stwa. Yeah, it is the least intimidating ah device to get liquid into your mouth.
01:19:25
Speaker
It is the least intimidating liquid ingestion system by far. So they thought briefly that Mary had been kidnapped.
01:19:36
Speaker
ah She wasn't. So, you know, no big deal. And a Frankie's got the disc because I guess his fucking niece had it the whole time and she brought in her little pink backpack.
01:19:47
Speaker
What I wrote is and Frankie's got the disc now because shut up. Because that's what it felt like the movie said to me.
01:19:57
Speaker
Listen, she's got to shower her boobies. Stop thinking too hard. Boobie, boobie, boobie. They seriously covered up plot by like, watch this lady jerk off for 90 straight seconds.
01:20:11
Speaker
It's an insane scene to put in a movie. Like, I get why it's there. i understand it that we want, that's why we're here. It's for these scenes. We were not, no one showed up for the plot.
01:20:24
Speaker
No one saw her mission, danger, and thought, I really want to know what the mission is.
01:20:33
Speaker
Like, I swear to God, this was like watching Tenet for the first time, where I'm just like trying to follow what's actually happening in this movie. And I'm like, yeah, I think I got to see that again. i think that maybe. Yeah, but also I don't want to see Tenet again because also I hated it. and Garrett, can we have a brief- No, you've brought it up, so now I need to tell you the things I hate about Tenet.
01:21:00
Speaker
Here is my nine-point list. No, I'm just fucking with you, but also I really hated Tenet. It's really bad. Worse than this movie. like Tenet, and I like To The Limit.
01:21:12
Speaker
And I think that Rob Pattinson, who I love, is playing the same character as Anna Nicole Smith, who I also love. And they are both what gets me to come back every time.
01:21:24
Speaker
She's my RPATs in this movie. Garrett, the message of Tenet was don't do anything about climate change. That's the future's problem.
01:21:35
Speaker
I tell my child that every day. but Fix climate change, Oz. Yeah, you do something about it. I'm too fucking dumb. I'm watching To The Limit twice.
01:21:47
Speaker
What are you doing over there? Eating cat food? Start fixing climate change. He's like, I'm not even three yet.
01:21:57
Speaker
Here's an opium pipe. See if you come up with something. So,
01:22:03
Speaker
so, so Philly Bambino's brother, Joey Bambino, the guy who threw his girlfriend off of him because he was mad about the sports scores while they were fucking is, uh, it gets a hot lady showing up at his door. And that's the, the one lady who has normal boobs in the whole movie.
01:22:24
Speaker
um who's going to give him Thai-style massage. Garrett, would you please explain what Thai-style massage means? I guess she sits on you from behind and takes her top off, but you don't get to see them?
01:22:37
Speaker
Yeah, she just puts them on your back. That actually sounds really great. Yeah, um I don't have a problem with it. would i literally accept that any day of the week.
01:22:48
Speaker
um If anyone does, if any of our listeners is a ah massage expert or Thai and has an answer as to whether this is accurately Thai style massage, let us know.
01:23:03
Speaker
You know how sometimes they'll play a game where you have to like put your hand in a box and feel something and guess what it is? Yeah, I hate that. Do you think you could guess what Anna Nicole Smith's boob was if that's what was in the box?
01:23:18
Speaker
That's a really good question. And I don't know that I could. I was thinking about her giving me a Thai style massage and how I wouldn't understand happening. What is this on my back? Why are the Cahokia mounds mounted atop me?
01:23:37
Speaker
No, because presumably the skin would feel like skin, but the flesh underneath does not look like it feels like flesh. They look like hard. They look like they would actually be like, but I'm like looking around the room. I'm in trying to find something like, does it look like it would have the same feeling as this piece of metal or this wet concrete per chance.
01:24:10
Speaker
That might be close. It's not sand. It's not sand.
01:24:17
Speaker
But it's not hard concrete, I don't think. see God, I hope The good thing about a movie like this is not a bubble. like It doesn't look like a balloon. It doesn't look like it's filled with air. you know This movie has asking questions, and that's what's really important with some art. That is so true. The important thing about art is that you come away asking questions.
01:24:40
Speaker
um yeah We are almost to a point where we've been recording longer than this movie. Yeah, so the massage lady swaps the lube for gasoline and lights him on fire, which is rad as hell.
01:24:53
Speaker
But also, great he wasn't tied to the bed. I don't know why motherfucker couldn't roll off and stop, drop, and roll. Dumb. Oh, well. ah That's where I wrote, blah, blah, disc, double cross, shootout, shit's on fire for no reason.
01:25:12
Speaker
Get us to the dam. that's I think that's like double... crop Yeah, 100%. Is she double crossing him? Is she not double crossing him? Who gives a shit? It doesn't matter. We get a dumb little Mexican standoff on the Hoover Dam where ah Anna Nicole Smith's got her gun to Frankie Da Vinci's head. ah Our pirate musical man has a gun to the mobster's head.
01:25:40
Speaker
I've never cared less about two people in my life No. It's like, shoot them all. What do I care? And then would you please tell our listeners he how this little standoff resolves itself?
01:25:59
Speaker
So as dumb as this movie is, Kit, I would say up until this point, we've existed In the realm of plot. Closish to the realm of reality, I guess, other than the helicopter, which is like the most outlandish thing.
01:26:15
Speaker
Yes. That's happened because like, it's just, it's, it's beyond physics. Like it's something that's as otherworldly. movie occasionally dipped its toe into camp, but it was not full camp.
01:26:32
Speaker
Yeah, I don't. That's why this does feel closer to like a Tommy Wiseau situation where like, I don't know that they knew this sucked. I don't know. I don't know.
01:26:43
Speaker
He maybe he did. He was like, I'm going to touch a titty. Who cares? Like jokes on you. But in which case, I wish they had leaned more into the campiness and had like more fun with it. Light more people on fire for God's sake.
01:26:59
Speaker
but I think the shittiness of it did make it way more fun than if he had tried. i am Yeah. So either way guns to head. She has to say something like just something about trust.
01:27:10
Speaker
God, trust me. Give me the disc. Trust me. He slides her the interactive CD-ROM.
01:27:20
Speaker
She uses it to shine light into our pirate musical villain's face. He's blinded for a second.
01:27:33
Speaker
She throws the CD-ROM at him like a fucking ninja star and it is buried into his face. Buried. They are on the edge of the Hoover Dam. Follows burying this disc in his face with a gunshot to the fucking head.
01:27:48
Speaker
he falls backwards, says, ah. yeah And falls off the Hoover Dam. bla And then she leaves with the two mob guys and says something like, oh yeah, that wasn't my real name. My name's Vicky or some shit.
01:28:07
Speaker
You're right. It was Vicky. Christina Barcelona.
01:28:14
Speaker
My name's Vicky Lynn. And then it's just freeze frame movies over. ah hundred percent. Those two men are about to go DP her, right?
01:28:26
Speaker
Like they're about to do a devil's triangle. I didn't watch till the end of the credits. I don't know. It didn't happen.
Humorous Speculations and Film Quality
01:28:32
Speaker
Oh, you know what? Maybe it what that is our bad. We should have watched to the end like a Marvel's end credit scene and and maybe even a mid credit scene.
01:28:41
Speaker
um She was getting DP'd by the mobster and Frankie Da Vinci. Poor woman. I don't know if she can do better. She's literally rich, Garrett. She married a man for money. She is rich. She didn't have to do this. Don't pour nothing.
01:29:00
Speaker
i don't know if she had done that yet, though. She had. in In 1995, that man had just died. Whoa, really?
01:29:12
Speaker
like we looked it up. I was curious if she was already rich yet. The answer is yes.
01:29:20
Speaker
I wonder what she got paid then. I don't know. Maybe she was doing this as part of the charity program. Maybe she this was a tax write off for her. You know, when you get a big inheritance like that, you got to you're going to get some tax implications. And she made sure that she was doing some charitable work so that she could could write this off.
01:29:46
Speaker
She's like, these these are my core my charity quarters. Touch some titties.
01:29:54
Speaker
The Victoria's Secret Angels. Is this an erotic thriller? um it it it was erotic and there were thrills. i honestly see no reason it cannot be considered an erotic thriller.
01:30:11
Speaker
It's stupid because some of the action is almost competently done on accident, I think. Or maybe on purpose. Maybe ah like some ah some action you know second unit director yeah volunteered their time as part of this charitable cause because they believed actually community service.
01:30:32
Speaker
and Oh, actually, maybe it was. They had a drunk driving thing and they needed to do some community service to to work it off.
01:30:41
Speaker
In fact, that may actually explain a lot of people that were involved with this, is that it was a community service thing for like minor drug crimes, DUIs,
01:30:53
Speaker
ah you know. Just general to Italian. Just generally just to Italian. Get a ticket for it. You got a ticket, and then this is the way you're going to work it off.
01:31:06
Speaker
For the good of humanity. Kit? Her code name was Colette. Her mission was danger. Yep, yep, yep. And were you aroused?
01:31:18
Speaker
Scale of one to five.
01:31:22
Speaker
Don't give me that look.
01:31:25
Speaker
I'm looking at a picture of Anna Nicole Smith right now. Don't look at that. You look inside your heart. That is where the answer lies. I'm trying to look into her heart and I'm having a hard time seeing it beyond the bounds. Stop doing You can't. If you x-rayed that shit, you would not be able to see her ribs.
01:31:46
Speaker
Superman's like, what's in there? There's in there. It cannot go through.
01:31:56
Speaker
I can't give this low. you can. No, I can't. I'm telling you my personal shit. You're my therapist right now. I don't want to be.
01:32:07
Speaker
I didn't consent to this.
01:32:12
Speaker
Yes, I did. i I love Anna Nicole Smith, Kit. I love i I can't explain that to you. Some things like, it's like Tenet. I don't have all the answers. I just know I kind of liked it.
01:32:35
Speaker
Three and a half! Fuck you! judge I so bad! Fuck you! Fuck you, Garrett! She is such an interesting shape. Fuck you! No one exists like her.
01:32:51
Speaker
Garrett, fuck you! Wanting to touch a thing is not the same as being aroused by it. I have seen, like, really interesting wallpapers with, like, fun little nubbly textures on them. I'm like, ooh, I want to touch that.
01:33:06
Speaker
That doesn't mean that I am sexually aroused by the wallpaper, Garrett. It means it looks interesting to touch. You could say the same about a weird goiter on somebody's neck.
01:33:19
Speaker
but Yes, you could. And maybe there's two weird goiters on the front. That doesn't make it sexual arousal that you want to touch
Curiosity versus Arousal Debate
01:33:26
Speaker
it. It makes it a morbid curiosity and it kind of makes you a bad person because you shouldn't be out there just wanting to touch someone's goiter.
01:33:34
Speaker
That's rude.
01:33:37
Speaker
I don't think I'm a bad person for wanting to touch these.
01:33:42
Speaker
Don't you? You're kind of curious too, though. I'm not saying I'm not curious. I'm saying curiosity and sexual arousal are very different things. But I'm saying i don't think I'll know until I touch.
01:33:58
Speaker
they're great? She's dead, Garrett. There's no, you can't ever know. You have to work with the information with given. She outlived Joey. That was a hard stick into it.
01:34:10
Speaker
Double middle finger for you, Kit. You can't take my special lady away from me. Fuck you. I cannot believe you would do that. I give a one star one star. And you know what that goes to?
01:34:25
Speaker
That goes to the massage lady and her nice normal titties. And even loafers. A real mean one. Yeah, it is. And I meant it. Yeah. Yeah.
01:34:37
Speaker
I didn't even take her into consideration. Maybe got to bump it up to four and a half. Fuck I'm giving three and a half of these, did the Cahokia mounds. Fucking shit, Gary.
01:34:48
Speaker
But like, the thing is, like, even the bottom part, like you said, it wouldn't be an hourglass. Because the top would be so weirdly big. But the thing is, the bottom's a little bigger than an hourglass, too.
01:34:59
Speaker
It That doesn't mean that it's...
01:35:04
Speaker
everybody's different. It's subjective kit. I didn't realize you were the one who's getting off on the idea of touching two goiters. The thing is, I bet a goiter actually might have a squishy, better texture. Yeah. Now that I'm thinking about it, certainly would move more.
01:35:24
Speaker
I think the stationariness of it all would like, I think we would switch positions to where we're both under the, that's why they were under the cover.
01:35:36
Speaker
And he's fucking her from behind with the covers pulled up to their chins. Yeah. It's the only way. Hey, until I can find out for real, I'm staying, I'm sticking three and a half.
01:35:50
Speaker
I hate you. i hate everything about you. I hate everything you choose to be. Where you thrilled? Scale of one to five. great stunt work, like nothing thrilling about the actual plot or if I care about anybody, but I do think credit is due. Like you said to the second unit on this, who really fucking killed it when they didn't need to.
01:36:13
Speaker
um We appreciate your charity work. We hope you guys got all of your community service hours in and that you didn't have to go clean up a park after this or anything. Cause ah cause you really nailed it.
01:36:26
Speaker
I might even go three just because I was impressed with the action sequences. It was just like fun early 90s action. There were times when it a little boring and a little samey because you never knew who anyone was and you never cared about a single character. And you're like, are you guys done shooting at each other yet?
01:36:43
Speaker
But from a pure technical standpoint, ah yeah, um'm like I'm comfortable giving it like a two and a half on thrills.
01:36:54
Speaker
yeah Would you ruin your life for Anna Nicole Smith and her weird, weird Cahokia mounds? I want you to think about that image. I want you to think about the image where her head's back and just the boobs rising up like fucking Mount Olympus or some shit.
01:37:12
Speaker
Like phoenix rising from the ash. ah I like what's happening in my head right now. i Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no. I mean, I don't know what else you could say.
01:37:22
Speaker
What, you're willing to get chased by the CIA and have your your wedding shot up? And also, she's late to your wedding. You okay with all that? And all the talking we'd have to do.
01:37:35
Speaker
Yeah. That's like the worst. Like time you sound like such an asshole. If you say like until she opens her mouth, but you didn't watch this movie guys. And we did. mean did. It's bad.
01:37:48
Speaker
It's bad. bad it In her, in, in the defense, in, in our defense, in anyone, but hers defense. Everyone else sounded like shit when they opened their mouths to it's everybody. It's i don't want to spend time with any of them.
01:38:05
Speaker
No, but that being said, like sucks that I am going to ruin my life because I want to answer the question mark of what is the sexual experience? like throne God damn it, Garrett.
01:38:24
Speaker
I'm sorry, Kit. Can I say any of this in my maid of honor speech? No.
Favorite Dads in Erotic Thrillers and Closing
01:38:32
Speaker
You're not my maid of honor anymore. oh shit.
01:38:37
Speaker
No, you still are. But no, you cannot mention Anna Nicole Smith in my goddamn wedding. Maybe at the bachelorette party. didn't say anything about Colette Dubois.
01:38:52
Speaker
Oh, you're right. Her very well-realized, distinct character, Colette Dubois, who is nothing like Anna Nicole Smith because she is a master at her craft. I'll throw in a Colette Dubois and give you a wink and you will smile and it's a cute moment.
01:39:07
Speaker
And only us and our podcast listeners know.
01:39:14
Speaker
No, I'm going to ruin my life for Colette Dubois. I have to know. I have to know. It's the curiosity, you know? Maybe it kills the cat. You what happened? It's ruining my life. Yeah, it is ruining your life. That's the whole point of the question is, are you willing to ruin your life?
01:39:29
Speaker
Yes. I just thought your life meant more to you than that. it doesn't
01:39:37
Speaker
It doesn't. It doesn't mean anything compared to me wanting to know what it feels like if I poke it. Does it bounce back? does it it Does stay stagged? Does my finger indent at all?
01:39:49
Speaker
i don't know. might doesnt break my finger. Does it stay twitched in? Does it leave a per... I don't know. don't know the thing is i'm willing to live with that question forever unanswered i'm comfortable with that i love you but it's gonna drive you mad no it won't i can compartmentalize i can put that way back there with a bunch of shit i don't think about there's something wrong with me then it's gonna get pushed too far to the front
01:40:25
Speaker
it's It's cut the line in so many of my problems. It's got a front of a line pass. It's sitting there. it's's Say goodbye to your wife and child. Garrett has to go figure out what Colette Dubois boobies feel like.
01:40:42
Speaker
It just, it walked right up in the single rider line and is next in line to go on the ride. It actually took, it it it was in a handicapped like ah wheelchair. So it got to go to the very front of the line. It skipped the line entirely.
01:41:00
Speaker
Yeah. I'm sorry. i just, I don't know. i don't know. i don't know. It's in a wheelchair because her back is broken from the fact that it cannot withstand the sheer weight of those things.
01:41:17
Speaker
Do you think they're heavy? The thing is they didn't look heavy. don't know. They big and immovable. I don't know. don't know. spent so much time talking about a woman's tits. tonight And well, it's kind of like, it's kind of what we do. If you think about it, like that's um' like part of what we're here for.
01:41:36
Speaker
Is it not? This is the most we've ever analyzed anyone's body This is true. Actually. We are normally not like this, but they're so weird. I can't.
01:41:50
Speaker
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Like I said, though, i think i get playmate of the year. They photograph well. It's the moving image. You hit them with a gif, though, of her running on a beach.
01:42:02
Speaker
She would not have worked on Baywatch. oh
01:42:08
Speaker
That's why you put her in a big sweater and reveal them. like is And then maybe put the sweater back down real quick. Ta-da! And then they go away and you're like, what the fuck did I just say? Whoa!
01:42:19
Speaker
Oh, she's firing a gun again. So before we get out of here, I think people are going to see the runtime on this and be like, what the fuck? It is the week of Father's Day. I wanted us to do a father, like a bad dad movie.
01:42:34
Speaker
Honestly, like we had done kind of some bad dad movies and there's couple others. They seemed a little problematic to do. Garrett just really, really wanted to talk about this movie and he wanted an excuse to make me watch it.
01:42:46
Speaker
Kind of a little bit. So this is my Father's Day gift to you. Do favorite? Oh, thank you. i was going to ask, do you have a favorite erotic thriller dad we've seen so far?
01:42:58
Speaker
um They're all universally pretty bad dads. um I would say Ben Affleck seems like he's probably a decent dad, though. In, what is it, Coldwater or whatever? Darkwater? Darkwater.
01:43:14
Speaker
Yeah. He seemed like he was probably a pretty good dad. He actually didn't really, yeah, he like he went to snails, but, you know, he seemed like he was there. He was felt like he was there more than Anadarmus.
01:43:26
Speaker
Yeah, 100%.
01:43:29
Speaker
Solid. That's a good answer. Why? What's your answer? Oh, Red Foreman and the Crush.
01:43:37
Speaker
kidding me he built a goddamn amusement park in the attic you are so right i was only thinking about like the guys that cheat on their families or in some way are involved in the romantic entanglements i wasn't thinking about the dads yeah no you're a hundred percent right he built a whole ass amusement park for her and he was willing to fight a dude best dad hands down he should have kept tabs on her a little more. I mean, there's some questionable parenting there.
01:44:08
Speaker
he thought she was good. was a teenager and she was really good at hiding it. He thought she was just still a horse girl, you know, like how bad could it be? Yeah. Well, happy father's day to all the bad dads, good dads, uh, actually fuck some of you, dad, some of the dads need, need a good, good day. Fuck you.
01:44:30
Speaker
If you're listening to this and your dad needed that, send it his way. Because he'll like all the talk before it. Fuck you. seriously.
01:44:41
Speaker
Happy Father's Day. Let's talk about tits. Yeah, this is ah this is for all the daddies out there. oh Hey, everybody. Thanks for listening. I love you so much. At Erotic Thriller Club on Instagram. EroticThrillerClub at gmail.com.
01:44:59
Speaker
If you have any questions, comments, and suggestions, concerns, we love it. ah Like, subscribe, whatever, follow, download, I don't know. You you kids know where it's at.
01:45:12
Speaker
ah We love to hear from y'all. If you've got to comments that you would like to share, let us know. Hey, happy Father's Day. Wet your snails.
01:45:23
Speaker
We love you. want to shake you naked and take eat you alive. I want to take you to the Cahoka Mounds and see what's going on up there. All right.
01:45:34
Speaker
Have a good week. We'll be back.
01:45:37
Speaker
In the arms of the angels.