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Dungeon Dive Inc 12: Muck Ado About Nothing
77 Plays8 months ago
In this episode Protects and Tulip finally vanquish their greatest enemy: a door! Also, Boom finally decides to stop frogging around and helps out. Thanks for listening! Check out funinstallersnetwork.com for playlists and more and consider supporting us and others you've heard on our show at ko-fi.com/funinstallers and remember: rate it if you hate it!
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Transcript
Introduction and Topic Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Well, you said that after we started I don't got nothing we're just gonna ride luck today Hey miss lady luck. Can I have a ride? Yes, sir. Hop on here we go That's all I get her dinner
00:00:19
Speaker
Hi everybody, welcome to the podcast episode of today that you're watching on I mean as they come out today, maybe but you're like you're watching it today Whatever day today is for you. What day is today for you? Leave it in the comments below like and subscribe and follow or whatever Hey, we got dungeon dive today.
Medieval Fantasy Roleplay Begins
00:00:42
Speaker
We fantasy medieval
00:00:46
Speaker
a naked man in the swamp with some frogs. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. You said, you said reflect on the dive. We fantasy. Sometimes I start to send a word going with it. I don't know. Hello, we're both players. We fantasy. We are your fantasy and we know it. Um, there's boom, papa, the human wizard.
00:01:13
Speaker
Yeah. Yep. I never get it right. And then there's, uh, protects gall. He is what you call a goblin, uh, male. I like to say that because we once gave him goblin male and goblins. Well, we don't know for sure. Um, and then there's tulip. She is an orcish woman and there, she was doing her best impression of Adrian saying,
00:01:46
Speaker
Play that fucking music right now.
Goblin Mail Humor
00:02:24
Speaker
You know, I was just thinking if if Protex Gaul gets a job as a mail carrier to his kind, he could be a goblin male delivering goblin mail while wearing goblin mail.
00:02:36
Speaker
Isn't language interesting? Language is really interesting. I love language. You just cracked a code there, brother. Yeah, that's crazy. Hey, I bought a notebook at the store today on clearance, and I'm going to write notes into it. I already missed the first note I was going to write, though, so that time has passed. I don't remember what it was. Was it going to be about when to cut the hidden music?
00:03:05
Speaker
Yeah, but I'll remember it's like, wait a minute. I mean, I won't remember, but I do it. Hey, frog people, let's get naked and dance. So yeah, I didn't, I didn't get to say fully what happened. He has booms talking to the frogs. He met the frog king who hasn't given his name yet. Um, there's squig wharf or squiggles first or squiggly manure. He's one of the guys he knows.
00:03:25
Speaker
Um, who works for the King frog and then to look and the goblin guy named protects protects. It's real Adrian. That's a real wonky name. You chose it by the way. I never know how to say it's very early. Did you notice that?
00:03:41
Speaker
Uh, anyway, those two motherfuckers are down in this hole, punch each other in the leg. Cause they don't know how to open the door. Yep. Because I tried to tell him that, you know, violence doesn't solve everything. And then he punched me in the knee. And so I punched him back. And nothing's getting solved. You started. Nothing. Cause they're still there. So let's show them to you guys in the hole. Tulip and clay and protects in the hole reporting live. What's going on down there?
00:04:11
Speaker
I'm punching her knee. I'm punching him in the knee. End of scene. All right, now that scene's
Door Puzzle Challenges
00:04:21
Speaker
ended, maybe you guys want to start a new scene. Thanks for coming out, guys. Maybe we should start a new scene now with YouTube. Two and a half hours later out.
00:04:30
Speaker
Alright, what are you guys doing with yourselves? I'm going to give you a little hint. Maybe you'll get lucky and guess it, but just saying random shit into the door is not going to pull it off. I can't pull it that much. Well, we tried to figure it out, and it wasn't the right way, so I guess we're going to have to figure something else out to protect.
00:04:53
Speaker
Yes, but you didn't like my way of solutionizing this thing. So go ahead, punch the door if you really, really want to, if you really, really want. I mean, now that you like say it, I kind of want to do it less, but I guess we can try that. Go ahead then, see if you break your hand.
00:05:16
Speaker
I was going to say, I'm going to make you only roll, because obviously you're going to hit a door, it's a door, you're not going to miss it. But I'm going to make you roll by to see if you do or do not cause yourself injury. Okay. Do it. Ben, first I'm going to go up to the door and ask and say it. So if you're not going to open up now, I'm going to punch you right in the eye. Do you really want that? I forgot how I made it talk, but the eyeball opened up again.
00:05:45
Speaker
Mmm, speak the word and entry will be given to you. You're making me annoyed. Okay, I punch. Right in it's eye? Yes. Oh shit, robo body. I roll body. Holy shiz miss. That's a 14. That's 14 in German. Fiercing.
00:06:14
Speaker
Yeah, that's pretty badass I want a band name called feet. Oh, it's just 14 in German. I Mean you could even do it in nine ten nine. Yes 915 Yeah, yeah, you punch it's you punch his thing right in his right in his old fever pocket and it goes oh
00:06:40
Speaker
And the eye closes up real quick, and the mouth closes too. Does the door open? No. Fuck. But you punched it in his eye. How's your hand? Did that work? Did that work? Are you sure? I mean, it still looks like a door that's pretty close. I'm pretty sure. Imagine that. Punching the door didn't open it.
00:07:10
Speaker
You know, apart from being a magic goblin, I'm also like part scholar and I've discovered the doors closed. Genius. Solid logic. Solid logic.
00:07:26
Speaker
Tulip's gonna look around and see if there's any sort of like clue or like any like a plaque or something any instructions to like hit this door open or whatever if not she's just gonna go back up
00:07:43
Speaker
gonna say there's no plaques here but you could go up and search you never saw that maybe you peeked in there I guess there's there was a bunch of like paraphernalia in the other room you didn't you that protects went into that you didn't go into there was books and papers and personal belongings and things like that Oh
00:08:01
Speaker
She doesn't know that. She's just going to say fuck it and go back upstairs. Yeah, let's leave this place. Let's leave this bullshit place. Okay, you guys leave up through
Magical Clues and Frog King Tensions
00:08:12
Speaker
the way you came down and you walk outside and your little old pal Booby-Pep-Pep is going. Oh no, how do you find him?
00:08:22
Speaker
Oh no. We do have the talking stones. We do have the talking stones. Good thing you remembered. I forgot to go ahead. Yeah, I always forget those two. I finally remembered. She opens up her pocket and drags the stone out and goes boom, pa pa.
00:08:49
Speaker
Hey, I can't get to my stone right now. I'm probably partying with a bunch of amphibians. Call you later. Bye bye. That was very funny how you just said that. Come over here. I'm going to tackle you.
00:09:10
Speaker
Oh, sorry. Oh, God, I swear that I cast a spell to make this go to voicemail. Hang on a second. Settings, settings. That's not going to settings. It's too late. I'm already talking to you. What do you want? I'm busy. What are you? We can't get into this fucking door down here and I just want to go.
00:09:31
Speaker
figure out something. Guys, settle down. Guys, settle down. I'm on the rock. Suddenly, it made me feel better being a frog. Tell her to fuck off. Hang on. I'm on the stone. I'm on the stone right now. You can't go. Do I need to get Betsy? I'm on the stone. Hang on. No, no, I'm fine. Look, I'm just hanging out with some of the locals learning some deets. What did you say? There's a door you can't get in.
00:10:03
Speaker
Yeah, there's like a... I went into Sasha.
00:10:10
Speaker
Hey guys, are you looking to get a blue dare or what dare? Whoops. Who are you? You guys know who I am half the time either. Bessie, did you go on vacation?
00:10:35
Speaker
Pick up an accent from the locals or something? Yes, there's a door down here that we can't get into and it keeps saying the same sentence over and over again. We might need your help. Did you try asking questions to it? No, actually we did not.
00:10:58
Speaker
All right. So try that. And also, you know, it's probably like some cult shit or, you know, like somebody who's trying to hide a bunch of gold. That's why, you know, these frog guys seem to be really cheese that all these people there, you know, like maybe just like look around for like a pet, you know, wizards are really stupid. They write that they write their spells in a book. That's one thing. But they also read all their passwords in a book, too. So just it's probably a book down there. It's got a password in it. Just look around for it. Wizards are real dumb that way.
00:11:25
Speaker
She's going to look at Protex. Protex, did you see any books anywhere while you were down there? I think I did saw some books there, but I didn't really were interested in them, I believe. So I don't really say some of those crickets from me. All right, guys, I got to go. They're about to have the crickets. But yeah, call me back if you find the book, OK? OK. All right. All right. Good luck. Don't don't say the wrong quote.
00:11:52
Speaker
Yeah, it's fine. Hey, it's fine. No, we hung up mutually. Hey, give me a cricket. And we're doing all the work, Protex. Let's go. Let's go look for a book. Going downstairs. Going downstairs. We're going to go back down. You show me where you found the book.
00:12:11
Speaker
I like to imagine him going down these, I like to imagine Protex going down these deep stairs in his little clunking suit. And it probably clunks the most going down that clink, clunk, clink, clink, clink. Oh, I forgot he's also like bright ass right now because I cast a light spell on him. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, he's like a glow worm. Yeah, he's a big glow worm. So I'm clinking, clunking, clinking, clunk. So you put me in the dark and it will not touch you. OK, well, show me where you found the books.
00:12:40
Speaker
Yes, that's the one he had done to write. OK. She's going to go in and follow him into the room that he found all the stuff in. Oh, wham bam. You see a room full of like little beddings and tables and chairs and there's some there's some books and some scrolls and some papers and a bunch of shit laying around that people have that they like to have having style.
00:13:08
Speaker
Okay. Uh, she's going to start looking through stuff. Okay. Roll notice as you search through the books. Uh, notice. Yeah, baby minder. I mean, since I forgot, we're not playing. I was very confused. I got a seven. You've got seven. Oh, I gotta come to your house and kill you.
00:13:37
Speaker
oh damn it do it do it longingly oh jesus you're gonna say that today's a killing day save or reroll um watering mine's one of them i'm gonna reroll
00:13:55
Speaker
nice re-roll that shit. I got an eight. Same tree of success. So guess what? You got a mid success. It takes you a minute, but you see this one guy's diary. It says like, oh, I'm new here. Just figuring things out. This group's pretty cool. I feel like I belong. And then he says,
00:14:25
Speaker
No one lets me do anything cool, but in case I ever forget the password to the door, everybody always says something about a dagger in the night. It's like that. Yeah, it's like he says, oh shit, it's a black dagger in the night. I'm pretty sure that's what they say. That's what his notes say.
00:14:53
Speaker
Cool. I guess she's going to look around for a black dagger. There's not one. OK. That's just what they say. Hmm. You know what? I just realized while you are rolling at seven next month, the first Sunday in a month is a seventh. Oh, we are going to die. Yes. And if you roll a seven on like that day, then we all should die.
00:15:24
Speaker
I mean, we all should die. We all just it'll save me some money getting married. I'm just saying we all just should. You know what? Sorry, paper can't marry. Sorry, paper can't marry. I know. Sorry. But yeah, like that.
00:15:41
Speaker
All right. This says something about a black dagger in the night. I don't really know what that means. What do you think that means, Protex? Maybe we need a dagger. And since it's dark down there, we use the dagger to lockpick the door. Or put it in its eye? I mean, if punching doesn't work, maybe a dagger works. Do you have a dagger? I don't have a dagger. I don't either.
00:16:12
Speaker
What's the other room you were? There was like food and that kind of stuff. I didn't see any daggers in there although I didn't quite go through all of the stuff. I just figured it was all food anyway. Okay why don't you look around here and I go back to that room and look if there's like a dagger. Okay
00:16:36
Speaker
Okay. Oh, nice. Nice. Hey, you're gonna investigate the other room the other guy didn't look at the last time. So maybe this time, a separate set of eyes will find something. All right, cool. While you guys are doing that, boom-pah-pah. You're over there with the mud people, and you're all sitting around the muck pile now. They're passing around. They're, um, they're little, they have like a little wooden pipe.
00:16:57
Speaker
They they're they're smoking out of and the king is beside you cuz he likes you a lot. He does Well, I said, I'd be a trick. I'll pick up toke of that whole brain. I tried to You know boom my mouth we stopped me not to not to not to get any smoking in but but thank you so much for offering it to me You know, I didn't catch your name there your highness
00:17:21
Speaker
Swigglesworth, you did not introduce me! You told me not to speak unless you told me to speak, sir! Have you ever gone correct? Yes, many would, yes. You want to go to something, Swigglesworth? Have an extra smoke of the pipe, uh? Um, my name is Grug, King Grug. Yes.
00:17:39
Speaker
Oh hey, King Grung. Can I call you Grung for short? Or do you want me to call you King Grung? I would like for you to refer to me as King Grung. That would make me very happy. You want to know why I'm named Grung? How about KG? Yeah, sure, you can tell me. Why not? Well, you see, I'm directly descended from Zug himself, our great Lord King of all Frog people. Can you bring it on? Bring it on. Cool. Cool. I would, I baribbit if you baribbit.
00:18:09
Speaker
Anyway, give me that. Whatever your name is, I don't care. I'm the king. I say, I really insist you should take a little hit off of this. It will really clear my body. Sometimes paying what you're eating might make it really clear the body, if you know what I'm saying.
00:18:32
Speaker
I mean, I believe you, dude, but my mind is already so clear from getting to spend time with your wonderful peoples and getting to roll out in the mud with the nude. That was a good time. That was my first time taking a stone call while I was not wearing my britches. That was fun. We were here to participate with you. Here's the thing, old friend, if you don't do this, we're going to have to chop your head off.
00:18:59
Speaker
Oh, he looks so good. He's like, he's like, she's like great. Right. So you must do it all. We will kill you very horrifically. What if, what if, what if my head already comes off? Whoa. Can you do that?
00:19:19
Speaker
Yes, I can. Well, I must see it then. Do it complete this, I think. I've already done it. You missed it. No, he did it so fast. I did not see it. Yeah, I cut my own head off and then I put it back on. That's amazing. Well, anyway, I guess that's more for us. I'll do it again. I'll do it again. Ready?
Boom's Cultural Exchange with Frogs
00:19:38
Speaker
Headacus Decapitus. And I want to make it look like my head's kind of floating off.
00:19:43
Speaker
Okay. We're on a 16 for mine. An illusion? Yeah, I'm trying to make it look like my head's kind of coming off and then when I pick it up, my head kind of looks like it's not there. And it's just in my hands. Oh my goodness! There we go! Do you see that? Swiggers, swiggers, swiggers, swiggers. His eyes are, his big buggy frog eyes are real wide. He's like, no, no, no. It was calmed down. He's a wizard. It's fine. He's going to be fine. Boop, boop. And I just screw it back on and spin it a bunch to kind of make it look funny.
00:20:13
Speaker
Yes, that's great. Um, uh, pass, would you like passing passing past the pipe along to cram it beside you? Would you please? Hey, cram it. That was nicely eating crickies with you earlier. Fuck. How does Kermit talk? Um, thanks. Um, okay. Well, um, Hey, so, uh, my buddies called me earlier about, uh, you know, when I took that stone call, uh, and they were asking me about, uh, like some sort of password and like a door or something.
00:20:42
Speaker
You know what kind of people have been going down in there so they know kind of what they're doing? Ah, shifty, sneaky people, right, everyone? What were they wearing? What did they look like? Was there anybody that looked like they were kind of in charge?
00:20:55
Speaker
Well, Crammit is our scouting type person, and Crammit fell for this man. What's up, Crammit? Well, I was out there one night looking around.
00:21:21
Speaker
There's a bunch of people in, like, dark robes. I almost didn't see them, but, you know, I'm good at what I do, so I saw them, and I was gonna... I saw only one at first. I was gonna shoot them with my little bow. Haha, they could get fucks, I said. But no, there was more of them. There was a bunch of them, and they went over there. Yeah, they went over there, a bunch of them, and I was saying, yeah, a bunch of dark robe people over there. Yeah. Interesting.
00:21:52
Speaker
Um, was there anybody that really stuck out to you that looked like they were kind of pointing fingers and saying, you do that thing, you do this thing. Anybody have any kind of extra medallions and colors of clothes or maybe like a scar or fancy eyewear or something?
Mysterious Staff and Potential Ambush
00:22:07
Speaker
Hmm, um, uh, there was a fellow, I suppose, who was, he, everyone else was kind of carrying stuff the one time, when he first came around, and he wasn't. Um, he has big staff though, and he was like, I don't know, I clearly have a nurse plan, but yeah, that's kind of what happened. What did the staff look like? Um, uh, like a big stick. That sounds, you know what, that sounds exactly like a staff. You might be onto something there, buddy. Yeah, I'm pretty good at scouting, so I know what I saw.
00:22:38
Speaker
Hey, no, hey, listen, no, you know, no harm, no foul. I mean, like, you know, I got to just make sure that, you know, I'm getting all the right details because, you know, eventually I got to swoop in and save the day here pretty soon. So I want to make sure I'm going in knowing what I'm talking about. Yeah, makes sense. Yeah, but I can wait till tomorrow morning. You guys want to just like take a nap, go sleep. What time is it? Is it nighttime? I wonder if I want to spot this for midday, I think it's like afternoon.
00:23:08
Speaker
Well, hey wait a second don't those yeah, we could have some more dinner, but what did those guys usually show up? They come in under nightfall, right? Yeah, usually at night. Damn it. I gotta go. Ah, man. I really want to take a nap Hey guys, sir. Yeah, I'm sorry there crab it and King King. Was it gross grub? Oh King Greg
00:23:32
Speaker
Yes, that's right. You know, I feel like my buddies are probably about to get ambushed pretty soon. So I got to go kind of watch the watch that cave entrance y'all found so we can get rid of those people that are fucking up your swamp and everything. Do you want to take Cravit with you? He's an excellent shot, I say. Actually, I was about to ask if he could come and be kind of like my little stealthy scout, you know, keep an eye out for things and let me know. I guess you won't even know where he is until you know where he is. Oh, God, he's not here anymore. Where is he? I'm here.
00:24:02
Speaker
Whoa, that's some kind of magic you know there. Yeah, he's very, he's very good. Anyway, are you sure you don't want to get a bit of a buzz on, though, my friend? Oh, trust me. I'm about to make everybody buzzed here in a minute once I get my stick back, you know, in working condition on account of it's all covered in muck from the muck rolling. Good luck with all that. If you do kill them, bring them back and we'll eat them.
00:24:33
Speaker
Alright, yeah, cool, whatever, that sounds good. Yeah, I'll probably eat some of them with you. I've never tried them. Then he looks at Cram, and he's like, and Cram, if this gentleman gets killed, I've never eaten a wizard. I mean, yeah, I mean, don't let me go to waste. Yeah, that's what I'm, yeah, mmm, yeah. Makes sense, yeah, everybody's fine. Alright, let's go scout out the entrance to the cave, make sure there ain't no douchebags gonna be coming and ambushing my buddies. Alright, let's go. Hey, you know, over there I saw like three deers last week.
00:25:02
Speaker
Oh, hey, we got time to go look where the deers are. Hang on a second. Where is it at? Oh, I don't know. Oh, damn, I thought I thought they'd still be there if we walked over there again. No, they hang on. What? I got one second. I got to make a quick stone call and then we could talk about this kind of stuff. They call call up. What's my goblins name again? Stinky. Nope. Well, Protex balls. No, Protex call. Got it.
00:25:31
Speaker
It actually get a phone call when you're down there rooting around. Hey, it's your buddy.
00:25:38
Speaker
Hey, uh, just real quick, um, you know, it's after dark and I don't know if you guys know that or not, but, uh, according to my, my, my frog pals here, my amphiba friends, as I like to call them, um, you know, there's, uh, you know, usually the bad guys come back to that cave after nightfall. So I don't know if they'll be back tonight, but you know, maybe watch your backs while you're fucking around down there because, uh, you know, it's pretty, pretty dark out here and it's right for time for douchebags to go back into a cave. I mean, that's good. And you can ask them how to open the door.
00:26:07
Speaker
You still haven't figured. Oh, my God. How have you not figured out the door yet? You know, it's a very persistent door and I don't know not like it. Well, you know what? I'm not coming down there until you open it. You won't learn anything if I do. Learning isn't something one does. One just has knowledge. Aren't you a scholar? Come on now. Figure it out. Use your big brain. Ask Betsy. She probably knows the answer. She's just holding out on you. I mean.
00:26:31
Speaker
I'm not really so sure about Betsy. Just ask Betsy to look at the books. Come on, Protex. Be a friend. Be a wing goblin, OK? Let Betsy have a little bit of time to shine. Come on. I'll do that. All right. Just call me back whenever you get the door open. Toodles. OK. We'll try that. So you saw a deer over here? That's cool. Yeah. Over there. I can show you their poop. Show me their poop. Let's go.
00:26:56
Speaker
Alright, you guys are down in the tunnel still. You just got your rock call there, Protex, with your plan of attack for life. My plan of attack for life is to get rich and get a lot of golden bitches.
00:27:11
Speaker
hmm golden bitches we all want a golden bitch in our life yes uh anywho that's what i thought you said did you say gold and bitches or golden bitches goblin bitches oh goblin bitches maybe he's the golden bitches even better um so okay are you gonna go and try and talk to the doll
00:27:32
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going back to like where Tulip is. Boom, I said maybe Betsy knows the way into the room. What? Betsy heard another way? I don't know. That's what he said. And he was very persistent about it, so I thought, why not? We don't really have that many options. She picks up Betsy and looks at her face to face.
00:28:00
Speaker
Have you known the password this whole time and you've been holding out on this? I don't know what you're talking about. Hmm. I think he's mistaken. I mean, that sounds like Boone. Yeah. So, do you find anything? Um, I don't know, God, do I find anything? Uh, if you're looking for daggers, um, no. I did not find anything. Can you repeat?
00:28:28
Speaker
Can you repeat the what she found again, just for me and for the audience? Because I've already forgotten what you said. They read something that said the guy said that they seem like he thinks they say something about black.
Door Puzzle Solved and Exploration Continues
00:28:41
Speaker
The black dagger comes in the night. Something like that. Oh, my God, guys. Sorry. I'm not there. I can't say anything.
00:28:56
Speaker
Why don't we, like, try and go and just tell to the door what it says on the paper? Oh. Yeah, we could do that. Let's go. See, Betsy was listening. She heard that. So I go to the door and I say, hey, Mr. Door, can I sorry I punched you earlier? Are you mad at me? Be glad and you will lay out inside of me. I'm not very sure I want to be inside of you, but sure.
00:29:28
Speaker
The black dagger comes at night. The eye closes and the door opens. It doesn't creak though because it's made of stone. Hey, I did it. Yeah, the mouth creaks. It goes. And yeah, there's a door open now. There's another little hallway continues and you see like
00:29:50
Speaker
And opening down farther ahead, like a dark opening, because you can't really see that far down. With your little shot-in suit and your torch. Oh. You want to continue on? Of course. I'm so proud of you for getting the door open. That was very, very smart of you. And all of our punching. Yeah, I told you there was no solution to the violence, was there? You know, usually doors just open with force.
00:30:20
Speaker
You're right. Yeah. Hmm. Let's go. I just don't like that. Hmm. It's kind of awesome. All right. Let's go. Are you still glowing? You're still glowing. Oh my God. So funny. Let's go. You're pregnant. See, you guys walked to that opening and it opens on to like a little, like a little section of the stone area that's
00:30:50
Speaker
I got like a railing there and shit and you look over and there's like a little circular room below you not like super wide like you probably stand like three or four people on either side of what is in the center of the room which is another circle but it's a big dark gaping hole in the ground and like you know it's this whole tunnel is kind of wet because of the swampiness and there's a lot of waters there's like little strickles and streams of it going down for and down into the little hole and there's a couple of doors again
00:31:18
Speaker
You know, on the walls of the room and that's what you see with your eyes. Oh, we're going to be sacrificed. Wonderful. Ah, you know, that doesn't seem like the most fun party. Do you think we should get some reinforcements? Should we call boom? Yes. Good idea. Do you want me to call my you?
00:31:47
Speaker
And you can do it. Let's call in the cavalry. Cavalry. Cavalry. Fuck. I can't speak. Call in the cavalry? Yeah. You're welcome. Okay. She pulls out her stone and she says, boom, pop, pop.
00:32:06
Speaker
Oh, yeah. One second. Yeah. You know what? There might be some two other animals there because that looks like a little deer dingleberry. But what's this little square shaped one? That's interesting. Oh, that's that's that's from a creature known as the the swamp goozler. Very rare. Only only known, at least to me, in these swamps. We are not going to not going to eat. Don't eat it. Oh, tummy aches for sure. Gotcha.
00:32:37
Speaker
Oh yeah, hey Tilla, what's up? Sorry, I was just learning about swamp gooslers. Um, we need, we might need your help. There's, um, a lot of people down here in this tunnel after we got the door open. Man, do you, I know, I know I talk fast and like shitty sometimes, but do you guys really not hear what I say sometimes?
00:32:56
Speaker
there's a hole in the ground there's a hole in the ground oh i did say some of people you could stand three people standing no i said i said i said you could stand three people abreast on the edge of the room but there's not anybody there i just wanted to use that as a picture i'm sorry
00:33:14
Speaker
I heard you say there were three people standing there around the hole. I was trying to use like anything other than the metric system I'll use to measure as I say that line. You can fit a quarter of a blue whale in that hole. As much as three rhinos in a micro pig it weighs. That's rhinos in here?
00:33:37
Speaker
Yes, but now that you know that that's not what you saw, you can readdress how you say the boompa-paw. Never mind, click. Oh good, let's find the swamp goo's loop. Let's just go without him, it's fine. Let's do some exploring and be careful not to step into the very ominous hole.
00:34:05
Speaker
Yes, we don't want to be sucked into the glory hole. So there's two doors on either side. Yes. And the circular room. How about we do it like last time? I go in one and you go in one. OK, I'll go on the left one again. I go right. Oh, very good. So you guys go into those separate places and let's go upstairs. Boom.
00:34:35
Speaker
You're up there looking at poop with the Crammet, the frog. The Swamp Goosler seems very elusive, but maybe I can cast some sort of track and spell on it. Hmm. Oh, and then you could go home and see if you can eat its eggs. Yeah. Yes. Or, or, or, or, or we, yo, since you said it's rare, I can duplicate the eggs and make a bunch of Swamp Gooslers and we could all have one.
00:35:02
Speaker
Oh, they'd be horrifying. They're terrible. Oh. Well, I thought they might be cuddly. No, they have got big spiny needles on them. And you got to snap. We tried. We tried eat those by themselves. We ate it with those on it with them off the amount of, you know, all the muck back there in town. Probably a lot of that's poop. All right. All right, cool. All right. Well, hey, look, as we're we're coming up to the cave here, I got to go down and see if my
00:35:34
Speaker
My buddies need any help. I thought they said something about stuffing people in a hole or they were in people's holes or something about it. There's people down there in a hole. I'm not exactly sure, but I. You know, can I say something before I walk down there? Also, I'm going to need you to kind of, you know, keep an eye out here, make sure no dickheads come down here or let me know how I have a how am I going to I don't have one of those fucking blocks you got there. Oh, damn. Yeah, you got a good point there. Hmm.
00:36:04
Speaker
You know what? Just make an explosion. You got any bombs out here? No. You know what? Just muck it up real good. When I leave, when I go in there, just muck up the door. Really, really good.
00:36:17
Speaker
And then as at the door, yeah, just make it really hard for people to get in. And then as they try to struggle to get in, you just shoot them a bunch unless their kids or if they look like civilians on the other side, if they look ominous, maybe you don't shoot the kill. Just, you know, shoot them in the knees. That'll make them really regret. You ain't got to say it twice. There you go. Shoot. Shoot the main or whatever you said. Yeah. Name. Name. I thought your name was Pramit. Who's who's name?
00:36:45
Speaker
Oh, Mame must be the leader of the Wizards. I'm gonna go tell my friends that Mame is the bad guy. What the hell are you talking about? Alright, well, one thing I can do is muck things up. Alright, moment I go in there, you muck this whole up real good. Alright. Alright, toodles. I was gonna say something about something else, but then I forgot what it was. Did I get distracted by Mame? Well, if you think about it, give me a call on your stone.
00:37:13
Speaker
OK, you don't have one. Oh, dang, I didn't know how it worked. Well, I was going to say shit. I can't remember what it was. Oh, well, anyways, you'll remember when you stop trying to think about it. Yeah, it's true. That's it's funny, funny how the brain works anyway. Give me a call whenever you remember. Yeah, you're right. I will do that. I'm going to call you when I get in there. OK, bye. All right. I go in and then as as I kind of get deeper, I'm like,
00:37:41
Speaker
Crappy doesn't have a stone. Ah, we just said that come on boom get your shit together And here's I Continue further down to find my friends. I just look for the luminescence of clunking suit and
00:38:04
Speaker
I mean keep walking you see those two rooms that if you peek in as you pass, there's nothing in there for you. No globlins You go down you see a big stone door that has weird like a line and a couple of weird lines on it on it You don't probably think much about that and you keep going and you see the place I've described wherein three people could stand Abreast but they are not good to know
00:38:29
Speaker
And maybe you probably see like down one of the holes is a little bit of a, well probably both, they both have a light source. Are they walking down into one of the holes? They're each, they're each on like the doors on either side. You can just see their, their gloves coming out of them. Like the weird. There are doors on either side of the big hole? Yes. Okay. Um, and there's a light from the left or the right and wherever they said they're at is where there's lights coming from. Are there any other markings in this room aside from a big hole in two doors?
00:38:58
Speaker
Um, not, it's not really if he, uh, I'm not going to grow mad. There's nothing on the walls. No, no, nothing really. No, just a big old circular room with a whole one. And I hear anything, um, with my ears. Um, aside from a drippy drop and split a splop of water. No. Okey dokey. Probably tulip talking to Betsy in the one room.
00:39:22
Speaker
All right, I guess I'll go, I guess I'll go to where I hear the conversation at. But, Betsy, I told you he's not going to like you that much if you keep doing that. You're fox. You're awful. Fox.
00:39:45
Speaker
I still don't know which one you say, but okay. I don't understand, farts with an accent or thoughts with... Her farts. Her farts are awful. Oh, I fart. Okay. Did you say you went right or left? I forget. Left. Do you remember? Left? Okay, so yeah, okay. Boom, you go that way down the hall, they're like kind of, you're kind of down.
00:40:05
Speaker
There's like a wooden sort of like a sort of half rotten wooden door at the other end there, two of you see and boom, you see further ahead of you to the torch, talking to a doll and that slightly illuminated door down there. OK, I just kind of give a little projected whisper like, hey, are you girls down here?
00:40:28
Speaker
Is that him? Oh, boom. Hello. We weren't supposed to be talking about him. He knew he always shows up when that happens. We're in here. Oh, hey, what's up? So what are we doing down here? You see, did you see a guy named Mame down here? Um, no, we haven't seen anyone down here yet. Seems abandoned. Oh, from the call that you sent me earlier, I thought maybe you saw people or something.
00:40:57
Speaker
I thought I did for a moment, but I think I was just hallucinating or something. Oh, I see. Where's the, uh, where's the little one? Um, he's in the other room in the one on the right. Huh. Well, all right. Did you do it? Should we call him? See if he found anything. What did you find? What's in here? I'm not really sure. It looks like a bunch of crap.
00:41:25
Speaker
Dustin, is there a bunch of crap here? Is it cube-shaped? I had said you have yet to go in. You're outside of a door at the moment.
00:41:34
Speaker
Oh, I kick it open. Yeah! Bam. Good thing. Shatters the pieces. It's all brought into wood. Yeah, I'm so strong. And inside you see a giant gaping mouth with teeth. Just kidding. You see some just a sort of a smallish room, like a closet almost. And why don't you guys roll a d20 for me?
00:42:03
Speaker
A whole D20. Holdy, a fucking I wrote a seven. Do I get to keep it? Michaelton, eight. I need you both to roll it. We'll take the. He said, why don't you both roll it? I said, God, I say both as a guy. Either way, let me let me let me think here for a second. Holy shit.
00:42:23
Speaker
Oh, man. You guys see in there some, like, couple little chests laying, sitting around on the floor. And up against the wall in the corner, there's a staff that has sort of, like, at the top of it, sort of like a little, couple little, like, small spikes with literally kind of reddish. And that's what you see.
00:42:52
Speaker
A couple of chests and a staff that's spiky and reddish. Yeah, on top. Not like, not like long spikes. There's like little, like frosted tips at the top of that. Yeah, it must belong to somebody. And dollars to donuts, they don't want us finding a touch in this. So don't touch it. Oh, but it's so pretty. I mean, I guess it's all right looking, but, uh, you know, um,
00:43:21
Speaker
You know what? Why don't you touch it, and then I'll stand out here, and then if nothing bad happens, then you can keep what's inside the box. How about Betsy touches it first?
00:43:34
Speaker
No, I don't want to put Betsy in danger. Why don't you do it? Oh, Protex. Oh, perfect. Yeah, let's call him. Hang on a second. On the other side there, Protex, you're walking into your room and there's a door in front of you as well, a little wooden door, a little nicer than another one, but you don't know the difference. Yes, and what's inside?
00:44:04
Speaker
Oh, you gotta tell me you're gonna open it? I don't know, I don't know. I mean, I'm going to have the intention of opening it there. Punch the door like you did before. Why didn't I think of that shit? So you open it opening style, and inside is another circular room, much smaller than the last one, and there's a little pedestal there in the center, a little stone pedestal carved out of this.
00:44:28
Speaker
stone. And on it, there is a nothing. A nothing? Yeah. That doesn't sound like a whole lot. Yeah. There's nothing else in the room. No, that's it, brother. There's a little there's little like nooks in the wall where there's some candles that are melted down a little bit.
00:44:49
Speaker
I'm going to take a candle and put it on a pedestal. Oh, shit. Once the candle thief strikes again, you do that. Yeah, OK, cool. Nothing happens. It's, you know, only thing that happens is now there's a candle on a pedestal. I mean, that's success. That's a result. Yeah. Change. Yeah. And then then you hear your phone goes off. It's boom. Papa. Hello.
00:45:20
Speaker
Hey, come touch this chest. Only if you come touch his pedestal. Alright, deal. Okay, good. And I walked towards that room. Okay. Do you wait over that outside boom frame or do you walk over there to see what he was looking at?
00:45:37
Speaker
I'm gonna wait to see if there's anything in the, you know, in the boxes that he opens, because, you know, he says something about a
Treasure Discovery and Magical Staff
00:45:43
Speaker
pedestal. Maybe there's something here we need to put on the pedestal. Oh, great. Protex, you go over there and you see all the shit. There's a couple of little smaller chests in the floor of that room, and there is a staff leaning against a corner there. I mean, that looks cooler than what was in my room. There was just an empty room with a pedestal. How big was the pedestal?
00:46:07
Speaker
I'd say. Oh, bigger than you. Yeah, there you go. Good job. How wide was the pedestal? I mean, it was like human and with. Human and with. Yes. Can it fit a stick on it? Can it? I mean, if you smash it hard enough against it, it will probably stick. Right. Right. Main strikes again. Yes.
00:46:37
Speaker
All right, so you guys each open up a box to look you take one Protect you take one and then if they don't kill you then you can keep the spoils inside I won't even ask for any of it unless it's something we need to solve the pedestal puzzle Why would the box attack us the boxes?
00:46:56
Speaker
You know what? This is one of those lessons you just gotta kinda have to learn, man. So, sometimes, boxes attack you. That's just what happens when you're a wizard and you protect things in them. Your name is Protects. You should understand this. You know, I haven't had boxes to attack me before. Well, this is the first time for everything. I hope it's not today. I hope they're just regular boxes.
00:47:22
Speaker
I'm gonna go and take the box and throw it in your boom. Okay, right or left? Doesn't matter. You got a box. Left? Oh shit. Okay, you throw that box at boom and it hits the ground and it cracks open and some little coins in general just skitter out across the floor. Are you happy? Are you happy with what you did here? Now we have to pick all this up. Yes.
00:47:47
Speaker
But probably you're scared that it's going to eat you. No, I'm not scared it's going to eat me. I mean, you've kind of did the first test. You touched it. Now do that. You know what? Just throw the other one over here, too. Go ahead. Just throw it. I guess. And I just throw it over here. We'll just sweep it all up at once. I grabbed a box and I throw it beside Boo. OK, that one cracks open, too. And a little dagger that was on it and like a little nice little cushion comes rolling out.
00:48:16
Speaker
Are you happy with what you did? Look at what you did. Yes. I'm feeling pretty good about myself. I mean, now you gotta pick it up. Ooh, look, Betsy, do you guys want all this stuff? Because this little butthole threw it and apparently doesn't want any of the treasure in it. So this is all yours. Take your treasure. Sweet. I roll for speed to pick up the stuff.
00:48:38
Speaker
I roll for, I roll for, uh, Thunderbolt to shoot him back into the room. Okay. We're not underballing each other. Jesus. I can shoot lightning from my staff. Um, so you're trying to rush over protects to start picking up some stuff. Tulip, are you jumping into action or are you just going to let them like just scramble on the ground?
00:49:05
Speaker
She's gonna grab the dagger and quit like quick like as fast as she can and like as soon as she sees Protex go for it. She's gonna like get the tip like right there that the very like meat of his chin.
00:49:19
Speaker
Well, what are you going for, Protect? You trying to go for a money or a dagger? For the money. I'm a loot goblin. OK. OK, so you're just going to start kicking the change everywhere as I walk into the room. Booms, just kicking his feet, grinding his feet as he walks into the room. Yeah. You start trying to grab the coins and some gems. And I guess until it puts the dagger tip of your little change in, your hairy little goblin chin. Me first, you loot goblin.
00:49:48
Speaker
I grabbed dagger and pointed at her knee.
00:49:54
Speaker
Oh, you got a real body to rush with. You got a real body to. Yeah. Oh God. The knee attack strike is happening again. I'm not going to get safe. No need is safer until it's been protected by the MFS role body. I just want to say I'm continuing towards that staff while they're doing this contest. I got to seven. I'm going to reroll. Yeah, it's never going to be my 13. I got a 10. I mean, they're they're both successes, but I find I have success.
00:50:25
Speaker
Yes. So, yeah, you do. It's real struggle for you, but you pull it out. You must say you don't get to like point it at her knee, but you've wrestled it from her. And then boom, you're in that room with that little staff. What are you doing there? I'm boom in the room. Crazy. I would like to cast a little detection spell upon the staff to make sure it ain't going to blow me up when I touch it. I probably should have had Protex touch that first. But yeah, you know, fuck me, man. Do it. Roll that mine for me. I rolled a 10.
00:50:54
Speaker
Yeah, you go and you say, ah, Detecticus Magicus. Exactly what I say. And since I wanted to have some fun descriptions like some other games have, whenever you detect magic on certain tanned items, you get all this information from it. This is the staff of the staff, not staff, the staff of Eurythmoses. Eurythmoses? Yes, which you... This makes for a pisshole.
00:51:21
Speaker
You know it's E-U-R-Y-F-T-H. And you know this to be a staff that can be used to put people to sleep and give them various types of things. If it does it the best, it can give them sweet dreams. And you know that you get the thought through your head that says sweet dreams are made of this.
00:51:44
Speaker
The Eurythmics. Oh, anybody? So the Eurythral staff, this will come in handy. That's cool. Hey, guys, I got a staff of Eurythra over here. Is that like a god I don't know about? Is that some kind of god or perhaps some sort of sea serpent?
00:52:04
Speaker
And you see them wrestling over a dagger and protects gets it in his hands. I pick I pick up my I pick up the sleepy staff and I magically blew it to my back with my other staff. Oh, my God. That's how it works. Yeah. So then you done that and the guys are out there in their argument. All right, I'm just going to step over them and.
00:52:29
Speaker
Like I'm just gonna do like a really loud dr. Cox whistle and just like point towards the door where the others with a pedestal with I'm just gonna keep walking
00:52:36
Speaker
Like a summing them was like, you're whistling for a dog. You know, just like, I don't want to actually whistle into the microphone in case it hurts somebody. But yeah, I'm just going to really like, and then just like fucking point to the door. I'm just going to keep walking. What are you two rascals doing? Picking up the fancy stones and then I'm going to stand up and walk to the other room.
00:53:05
Speaker
Julep's gonna trip him as he gets up. Oh No And yeah, I guess you get some coins he didn't say pick up the coins so they're Yeah, I'm gonna pick up points. Okay,
Frog Attack and Episode Conclusion
00:53:20
Speaker
great. It's great. You guys are really great team So you follow boom over there as you guys are walking around the big pit you hear You hear from way above
00:53:31
Speaker
What the hell? What on earth is going on here? This sucks! Holy fuck! I just got shot in the leg! Oh Jesus Christ! Oh my God! I just got shot in the leg too! Oh my God! Where are you from? And you hear, fuck I got shot in the leg too! Holy shit! We're all getting shot in the leg!
00:53:54
Speaker
It's coming from the top of the tunnel. Oh, OK. We're here. Five minutes to hear that. You all hear that shit. And the world is again considered that for next time. Well, we'll leave the that there with all the people being shot upstairs by Cramut. Like everybody. You at home, guess what? You leveled up today. So, hey, good job, you at home. Yeah, you piece of shit.
00:54:25
Speaker
Learn something, I don't know, new. Learn how to be better at punching things. Punch somebody. If you're on the bus right now listening to this, punch somebody. If you love somebody, punch somebody. Yeah, don't actually, disclaimer, don't actually, we're not, this is a joke, don't punch, if you do punch someone, don't point to this in your lawsuit saying we don't do, because I didn't really want to. I wanna punch on somebody.
00:54:53
Speaker
I want a fist of meat of somebody. Gross. Yeah, I want a bunch of somebody. Don't forget to like, subscribe. Follow us on YouTube for the same shit you're getting here. Just kind of different. Oh, yeah. Fun installers. Fun installers on YouTube, funinstallersnetwork.com.
00:55:11
Speaker
Kofi.com slash fun installers. Fun installers everything. That was the original Adam and Justin project. Yeah. It's there, man. Yeah. You know, I mean, you know, if you like, if you like us, which old shit we did to touch, touch, touch a button for us. Good night and good luck. It's a button for us. And please do not punch anyone. I was a big joke. I want to punch on somebody, somebody who punched you.
00:56:18
Speaker
Oh, does it look good already?