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Savage City - Who's the Boss?
50 Plays2 months ago
Snow and Stoop wrap up ruining a train in the desert and forget about their supposedly dead friend Evan who returns after a week of recuperation to find Snow has trashed his apartment. Then Stoop gets some bad news!
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Transcript
Introduction to Savage City and the Players
00:00:00
Speaker
We're gonna start recording guess i'm go start recording now, but yeah now it's start then I got ter I got cranky up on the old sound bits. I was then and this is now Now look at me. Hey everybody. Welcome to the show. We're listening No, you're listening to us and we're talking to you about Savage City and we're gonna play the game today of having Cass and Adrian and Adam playing stoop ah yeah Evan and so in some sort of order relative to those other people's
Recap of Previous Episode
00:00:31
Speaker
names. And my name is Justin. I'm going to tell you all about what happened last time. They fought a train. and They took some stuff out of side of its insides and preach. They killed the little things that came off of it. They were like, ah, we're going to get you. Got them. They got me. Yeah, they killed.
00:00:55
Speaker
What's his name again?
Evan's Return and Microphone Issues
00:00:56
Speaker
What is his name? Evan. and Evan. They killed Evan. He's still alive. BX5. Yeah. I am BX5. Yeah, that's why he sounds robotic. Should we explain that? once You're not explaining it? Adrian. No, that's just not explaining anything. He's using a different microphone today. It's a little, sounds weird. Boris is going to say it. He moved to korea for South Korea for three months ah to explore his self and his ability to learn Korean languages.
00:01:25
Speaker
And he forgot to pack his microphone. And we didn't know that until we started recording. And we're just powering through it. he' starting ah He's starting his learning of the Korean language with, oh baby, please don't stop. Yes. Yes. Oh. Don't stop punching me. How do you say yes, queen? Yas queen in South Korean language. Is South Korean the same as North Korean? Or is is that an ignorant question? ah do they Are they the same language? They're both Korean.
00:01:52
Speaker
not so long ago that like got split up because they have like different ideologies and they got split up by like Russia and like America. Right, exactly. Like the Berlin Wall. This one's like the the other wall or something. Yeah.
Ethical Dilemma: Selling Weapons?
00:02:06
Speaker
Hit the music.
00:02:35
Speaker
um So you guys did what last time else and nothing else really you got your job done and then you who Didn't do anything else we're gonna see you guys go home Evan's out in the desert healing you guys think he's dead Snow spear your friends say hey, we're gonna go to go jesus ah Wait, before we go home, I don't want to say that we're home yet because we we finished the train thing, right? And we got well, remind me again what boss Williams and Chami Wang did. Is it Jami or Chami? Did we agree on that? Jami with a J. Jami Wang. Did did we agree? Did we know what they took?
00:03:20
Speaker
Just some boxes you found that one gun in there um Just like a bunch of dub weapons. Do you eight weapons or whatever? Yeah, some of those and smaller shit Okay, but we don't like I mean I cuz they didn't come with like some sort of trailer so like no They load they load them on the back of the buggy thing on the back of the buggy said I took a few boxes of whatever I'm assuming weapons because I fired one of them presumably so Um, did I say that I took the propellers off? I took the propellers off that fucking probably did you little that thing, right? i I'm going to add that to my, to my, to my list of shit that I have that I probably forget to use. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I think before we leave, speaking of which, did you erase my money? Don't erase my money.
00:04:01
Speaker
and such a shit Somebody got my money. Sorry. All right. Anyway, yeah we're rank. Maybe if we can like, you know, sometimes it's snow. You remember this kind of stuff you like, you got you got your deal going, but then you like offered somebody else and they're going to pay you more money. So you tell the first person, Oh, someone else is offering me more money. Hi. So we'll see what we get out of this. It's going to be a whole thing. It's going to be fun. Right. So
00:04:42
Speaker
Wait, are you guys just going to sell this shit? Is that why we knocked over this big ass train that murdered one of our people? Yeah, brother. Didn't, uh, didn't, didn't join me. Tell you that's the whole deal. Yeah. I told him I told him he was going to get some money out of this deal. He told us he was going to get money, but I didn't know why you wanted this stuff. I thought we was just fucking up some corporation or whatever. What do you need with all these goddamn wub wub guns? Um, to sell them for money. To whom?
00:05:09
Speaker
Oh yeah, first person who told us to come out here, them hydro fellas, they're all about trying to find weird new things to get. But like I said, might try and talk to the cyborgs, see if they want anything. Who? The cyborgs. Yeah, cyborgs. Cyborgs. Where's the cyborgs at?
Cyborgs in the Slum District
00:05:28
Speaker
You know, come on, you can't tell me that the skull-headed guy, and don't think we didn't notice you're that vigilante skull-headed guy, but thanks for helping us out, but please don't kill us too.
00:05:38
Speaker
um You don't know just about the cyborgs, man. They live down in the down in one of the well. Well, I say one of the slums, I guess it's like everything's a slum pretty much in that city. But, you know, I know them. What would I know them? Do you think I've had a cross pass with them? I don't know if you cross paths. We definitely know about them. Well, yeah. Well, my question was, where are they? Where are the cyborgs? Well, you know, down in the pretty much their their own district now, it's like a little little or a little orca. Yeah. Wait, so you're going to sell weapons to these bad people?
00:06:11
Speaker
and gore like wait That's profiling, man. Hey, profiling. What? Yeah? And what do they do? Well, you know, stuff like this. They attack things for some time, you know. Once in a while, yeah away I ain't no judge of duty to them. That's your job, buddy. I'm just here to make some money. Right, and I just need to make sure that these weapons ain't gonna fall into the wrong hands.
00:06:33
Speaker
Oh my god, Snow, I didn't say anything. I knew it was going to be the whole thing bringing this guy involved. Look at him, he's a silver freaking skull. He puts people in a hospital for for stealing pocket change. That was like 10 times. Yeah, man, I heard you was beating up some kid who's eating an ice cream cone. Well, you heard right, and I kicked his little arse down the street in a garbage can.
00:06:58
Speaker
That's pretty funny, brother. and It was snow. Are you really going to tell me that these fools are going to sell these weapons to some ne'er-do-wells? I'm going to have to go fight later. I thought they were like music guns, you know, like you hit the button and it like plays music. I thought there was like a party or something. I.
00:07:21
Speaker
You saw me fire this goddamn boombox at a drone earlier, right? You saw that, right? You heard it? I was driving, bro. Like, I was paying attention to the road. I didn't see anything. Well, those are weapons. Okay, so now...
00:07:35
Speaker
Take, take a page out of snow. Like she focused, you know, the job, her job is driving. She doesn't care anything else other than that. Your job was smashing, helping out. Our job is selling. Don't worry about where it goes. Whatever, you know, it's, that's your job is your job. You know, it's all right. Can you describe the scene to me right now before we have left? Where are, where, where's everybody at? we park hard carnage And just stand
Tensions and Motivations within the Group
00:07:55
Speaker
around the car after you loaded it, buddy. All right. Well, I'm going to charge who's closest to me, Tommy or boss. Roll a two sided dice.
00:08:04
Speaker
All right. Horse out of dice. Ash, roll one D to roll the one. Oh, man, it's John. He's like standing right in front of you. Like, yeah, man. All right. I grab him. I grab him by the throat and push him up against the ah the vehicle and just like start like squeezing the sides, like right over by the the jowls a little bit. So like it's not exactly choking him, but if there's some pressure there. No, I like it. just sounds like No one like it. And I have my sword pointed over it over at Boss Williams as I choke him. Brother, come on.
00:08:36
Speaker
Snow's just looking at her claws, just like bored. Hurry up and do what you want to do. Let's go. I just want to get paid. I mean, you got somewhere to be, Snowy. Yeah. Back at my new apartment. Oh, right. Evans did. And we should probably go pick a part, whatever he's got left then, eh?
00:09:01
Speaker
No, because now it's my apartment and now I have a place to live. It's all mine. I'm no longer sleeping at the foot of his bed. I mean, on my cat castle that I made from furniture. Yeah, totally, totally. Look, you don't got a safe face with me. I sleep and shit inside this suit. I got no way for him to talk. OK, I just want to make sure that we're all on the same page about that. I got no shame. So you don't got to have any. Do you have this conversation? What?
00:09:29
Speaker
what I squeeze harder. Are you still breathing? Oh.
00:09:38
Speaker
Alright. Come on, man. Let him- You know what? but We know enough people that we can sell this to that it won't fall under the wrong hands. You're not selling it to the cyborgs, and you're not fucking selling it to the goddamn hydros. We've already had bad beef with those douchebags, and I'm not gonna give them more shit to shoot at me with later. Oh, shit. Well, fuck, man. Ooh, you mean the fish people? Ooh, they were so tasty. Mmm. Oh, that You still eat those people? That's fucked up.
00:10:04
Speaker
All right, I like talking about I had them for sushi for dinner. They were amazing.
Snow's Takeover of Evan's Apartment
00:10:11
Speaker
Jesus. Now, don't you know anybody else who can buy these things? I don't mind knocking over a big ass train to get paid. Right, especially for some sort of stupid corporation. Don't give a fuck about people anyway. And if they're shipping guns, we don't need the government to have them. At the same time, I don't want to fall into the hands of some stupid crime lords either.
00:10:31
Speaker
Well, remember it allie have somebody so the like explosives and stuff from or was it the expo? Yes, it was explosives from like when we infiltrated that one warehouse and we found out it was just all medical supplies. They were like, oh, maybe we shouldn't build that place up.
00:10:51
Speaker
Fuck. Snow, you know, from my buddy, like we could give him to them, him, and then like he can hold him for us until we like need him for something. Well, I was like, that was like, no, no, we're not holding him. We get money out of this. And you know, he's going to sell them just who we were going to sell them to. We're just going to get less money because it's going to be through him then. That's silly. That's who you were going to sell them to. No, we was going to sell them to hydro, but he'll just do the same thing. No.
00:11:19
Speaker
well how do you know that my dude doesn't have more money than your dude because snow your dude is a dude i know too whose name we forget we're not gonna say it and let's not worry about that but he's gonna sell it to how with somebody else and he's just gonna give us and he's gonna be a middleman so he's gonna take his cut then and we're we're gonna get less snow that's how it works why don't we just tell you listen you want to sell it somebody who's gonna be a little more wholesome why don't we it's not gonna be very Brother, don't even say it, brother. I know, go fucking listen to you. I don't want to get my head squeezed off like a pimple again. You don't know, Dr. Boom. You don't even know. I don't even know what you're talking about. There's no way you know who Dr. Boom is. Him and I got drunk and we touched Weenis once. I know that man better than you do. Yes, that's true. We touched Weenis one time.
00:12:05
Speaker
what also he talk like jim cary and hes ven to
00:12:11
Speaker
I don't know. He's kind of a germaphobe, so I don't ever see that happening. Why do you think he became a germaphobe? He fucking remembered that drunken evening we did and did that. and Oh, you're in the reason that he's a germaphobe. Thanks a lot for that, you big jerk.
00:12:26
Speaker
But anyway, that's not neither here nor there why he's just where he is and why he puts a bunch of sanitizers down his pants. Go ahead and squeeze his head off. Stupid's fine. No, no, no. Squeeze my head. Listen, it's going to be fucking way less good for us fiscally, financially, whatever you want to call it. We could find the freaking, you know, the guys out here, the Saurian gangs, they generally just do this kind of shit that you like. They just knock over Corporation bullshit out here to try and get ends meet and make people give people shit to live by out here and You can wrap your little vigilante niceness hand around that I bet they'll give us something I imagine for giving them some weapons. Oh We can tip them off to the rest of this bullshit here and then maybe I'll give us something good for that. What do you say? Who's our contact for that?
00:13:10
Speaker
I fucking, you know, I mean, whoever we who talk to us, but they're the leaders called solacing over there. um You think they got enough money to pay you enough that you'll be satiated? No, I don't can make her money. Well, how much money do you think you're expected to make this if you sell this to the fish people?
00:13:27
Speaker
Well, more than the desert people can give us, because they're scrounging for scraps in the rust and dust, but I'll at least be able to not get my head squished by you, all right? So it's called an even little draw. We fucked up and team it up with you. I don't want to get squeezed again. um How about this counter offer? How about this? We use these fancy little weapons. We go and we take down the hydro gang. We take whatever riches they've got. You can get paid. And then, you know, one last crime syndicate we got to worry about.
00:13:58
Speaker
I think I'm just gonna walk back to the city at this point. See ya, brother. You can take, you can figure out what these guys were here. Wait, I'm not, I'm not a negotiator. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm not fucking joined up. Anybody fucking know, fighting those hydro's. Three, two, four people, four people, even with the dub dub gun, going up against the hydro guy. If we had 20 people, if we had a thousand, I ain't doing them. That's crazy, man. They caught up half the city, you know that, right? Yeah, which means we're alone half the city when we're done.
00:14:25
Speaker
Um, maybe our bodies be sprinkled across. halfs Um, I mean, um, I, you know what?
00:14:33
Speaker
Actually, hey, you know what? How about this? Um, and he just grabs, like, one crate, uh, and cuts it open, and then grabs, like, a couple of, like, whatever dubby guns are out there and just, like, kicks him over. He's like, since you're walking back anyway, carry these with you. Sell them over the fuck you want. But if I see one goddamn gun, if one wub wub gun is fired at me from a fish person, I swear to God, Johnny, I will hunt you down and I will cut every single cell in your body. You will feel every single one.
00:15:03
Speaker
And now he's gonna fuckin' buy two guns from us while I was on some street rat move, maybe. Fuckin' what are you gonna do with the rest of them? I told you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go take them and use them against the fish people. This is fucked up. Snow, why don't you tell me you run with a guy like this?
00:15:18
Speaker
um Um... You know that I don't hang out with the greatest people. You should know that by now.
00:15:30
Speaker
I think that's a very odd comment on myself, but I will ignore it. and Fine. Fuck it. Alright, whatever. um i guess we're keeping them taking the I'm taking the buggy back. you don't Get the shit off the thing if you don't want us to take it. We better give us a ride back to how we got here first.
00:15:48
Speaker
I guess it could be real fucking awkward, but yeah, I'll drive back to City together, I guess. Well, Snow's the one driving anyway, so fuck off. I mean, I can, we can, any of us can drive, just, she's just... Yeah, well, she's already in the driver's seat. Go ahead and try to make her move, and I'll go ahead and make a move by lobbing off your goddamn half your face. Alright, mate, calm down, Jesus Christ. You said you knew who I was, bitch! Yeah, I know, and I wish you'd calm down sometimes, man. You can't always be on 24-7, you gotta switch off sometimes.
00:16:16
Speaker
That doesn't happen. i well Even when I'm sleeping, I'm not sleeping. <unk> kari Can you help help us unload this bullshit, then? If we're not going to be selling it, for fuck's sake. Well, you think it's heroic if I do it? I don't fucking know, man. Just tell me yes, and I'll help you. All right, fine, then I'll do it. He puts his hands like he puts his fist on his hips. All right, I will help you carry these boxes back.
00:16:40
Speaker
I mean, just dump them off the thing. We're not taking them. Just get them off here. This is why I sell them. Fuck me. I will help you move these boxes in. He just starts taking them off the car, moving them. All right. Leave all these. Oh my God. A lovely bunch of what begins, doodie doodie. Yep, that's great. All right. Let's go get into the car. I mean, why don't we just, we're not going to sell them to anybody now.
Boss Williams' Permanent Invitation
00:17:03
Speaker
What the hell is this? Come on. Boss. Boss Williams, was it?
00:17:10
Speaker
Yeah, brother. Why don't you just work for us, with us, and I'm telling you, Wolf is stumbling all sorts of fun fucking riches, man. Just be one of us for once. Play by our rules. Trust me, Snow and I are rolling in dough. Plus I'm rich. You are? I mean, well, yes. Yes, I am. She bats her eyes at him. Maybe.
00:17:38
Speaker
oh Maybe you show us some proof that you can take down these other gangs we can take over but uh I ain't just jumping in right away taking on gangs with two people. Why don't you come with us to one extra job where we go show you how we're gonna chump some of these fish bitches and then you'll see you'll see what we're capable of doing. Um I guess feel as though when you're trying to do something I'm not gonna participate I'll watch what you do but uh see if you can pull it off but Oh man, I'll pull lots of things off. Just watch me with this sword here. Oh man, once I get these laser fists up and running too, boy, howdy. I'm going to be pulling all sorts of shit off. Okay. All right, brother. Well, we'll see what happens. All right. Let's get in this fucking car and have a nice little drive back. All right. Snow put on my favorite music. All right.
00:18:32
Speaker
Kitty, kitty cat, cat, kitty cat, catty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty No, I want to look for his dead body. Honestly, no, I probably once we put our the song on, I would forget. OK, you got to drive back and hang out po for like a little while. You probably just do your normal things. So now you probably wreck up Evan's house. And then one day. No, no, no. She'll like turn the bed into like a giant cat bed and then the rest of the furniture she's going to turn into like a giant cat castle in this house is going to look like a giant cat castle house.
00:19:25
Speaker
OK, and OK, yeah, I don't know how much he long press, ah and Evan. And I just pull my arms and legs up into my suit and take a little nap.
00:19:40
Speaker
Well, at least Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan, Evan. Roll one D six, one D's up one one one D's of them. Yeah, any second now.
00:19:54
Speaker
But go on from three. It's going to take a while. OK, so one week passes. Well, it's been one week and a week. Six, six weeks. What would have been a six, six, six whole weeks? Probably. Yeah. Yeah. It's only been seven whole days since you died. So I'm imagining you got shot off of a thing. You probably lost your keys. So one day snow you hear a knock at the door of the apartment room.
00:20:25
Speaker
Oh shit. She goes up to the, like, uh, the spy glass in the door, like the, whatever I can't, you know, to see who's at the door. She said, it's Evan, the people. It's been a long goddamn week. I'm not even kidding. It's the peep hole. Let you see the people. Yeah. you how Much more, much more rugged and sand filled hair and price. Suntan had a little bit of Evan.
00:20:56
Speaker
ah It's Evan. ahto Hello? Anybody home? Hello? No one's home.
00:21:07
Speaker
I try to, like, lock the pick, pick the lock. Lock the pick, pick the lock. Do you have pick lock? Oh, shit. Lock the pick, picking the hook. I don't, but I have a mechanic. I'm like, probably can use somehow to like pick this lock.
00:21:24
Speaker
You know, okay, fucking, fucking. Yeah. What do you have? You have what? I'm a chemical. I'm a chemical arm. Um, you know, this, a mechanical arm means that you can pick locks. Everybody knows this. Uh, why don't you roll a.
00:21:45
Speaker
Thievery. Rolling on. I don't Rolling on skilled role for me.
00:21:55
Speaker
That's a minus one. Um, try and get my finger into the lock, the keyhole and it just goes clack, clack, clack. Damn it. Like on the door where it had his name before where it said, uh, Evan, there's like a little piece of paper with a pop print over the top of it. You say you're going to push the door down, Evan? Yeah. Let's kick it. Roll a, roll a.
00:22:23
Speaker
Fucking um roll of athletics on that thing. Wow. But the two. He's two. He's still injured all the way because he still has he still has a negative one. um You can probably take it off. So yeah you got a zero before and three now. So it's still three. So. Yeah, I don't know. He's doing he's been a Benjamin.
00:22:47
Speaker
Now 13. OK, so you kicked the door the first time that you like it. kind It goes like it does a little shutter and you put a little dent in like the we'll say they're probably like these fucking metal doors because it's a city city apartment you live in. They try and be a little and just to fuck with the cops because they kick indoors a lot when you fuck it up because he when you kick it because it's laughing at you because you suck at kicking. Damn it. And you kick harder. And it's time to do it in the snow sphere. Are you still standing behind the door snow sphere? No, she's like she was hiding ah in the closet. OK. OK. So you kick the door down and you see your house ah turn into a kitty cat paradise. What have you done to our place? um And I look around and and try to see if I see a snow spear. Snow spear, the roll of stealth roll.
00:23:43
Speaker
This is some stupid stuff.
00:23:46
Speaker
and Wow. An eight. No, you don't. If like to roll some notice so if you can search around Evan. Evan F1. Yeah, like I want to look for some cubes, like for some hints. Yeah, some cubes. Five, an eight.
Evan vs. Snow: Apartment Showdown
00:24:00
Speaker
An eight. um so you So you can see um there your your expert eyes see in your and your plush carpeting that leads up to your door some fresh kitty cat impressions in the in the in the shag. ah And you see a little ruffling of the carpeting.
00:24:21
Speaker
leading to the closet next to the door that has your jackets and things. And the door is slightly ajar. And the door is not supposed to be ajar. Oh, yeah. It's like's like, it's like an internal whenever ah Raf was hiding behind a thing and the guy stepped on his foot because his foot was sticking out. Her tail sticking out of the door. Yeah. um a I take my sword and put it like between the door handles. So like that door is like locked.
00:24:48
Speaker
Oh, shit. um And so are you in this north pier? No.
00:25:03
Speaker
um So you guys didn't really think about checking to see if I'm like hurt or something. ah We looked for you. We didn't find you.
00:25:18
Speaker
And what wouldn't you find? You were like, right where the train was.
00:25:25
Speaker
um Well, see, the thing was, was we got pretty far down the train tracks. And when we finally got the train to stop, we came back for you and we didn't see you. So sorry about that, buddy.
00:25:47
Speaker
Like, I like to stay in a place I thought we were a team. And like, to be honest, I'm somewhat hurt by you guys. Well, I mean, we would have came and looked free, but we would, uh, we didn't know exactly like where you went. So like, uh,
00:26:13
Speaker
you know, Let me me just get like a drink and I go to my kitchen and I like to try to make some coffee. me sitting up and Sitting in boxer shorts at your little kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal. I guess you would remember, boss Williams is there with no shirt and it is his handlebar mustache with milk because he was slurping the milk out of the cereal bowl. Hey brother, I took the last bowl of cereal.
00:26:40
Speaker
I think, at first he doesn't really realize that it's like, oh yeah, that's fine, he can just make coffee. And then he's unfazed. Why are you here? Snow said I can come and hang out. Well, it's my place. Oh, she said it was her place, brother. It's my place. Yeah. I thought you were dead. She's been telling you lies.
00:27:05
Speaker
You were dead, bro. Like, I was just taking care of it, you know? Like, taking one for the team, you know what I'm saying? Like, we came to- You have so many several hot people eating that. But you have to, though. So, anyways, we have these really cool weight guns. No, we left them. We weren't allowed guns.
00:27:33
Speaker
We don't know. We weren't a allowed to take them. No. Yeah. Like, but so they're like, wait a lot.
00:27:41
Speaker
So they're like really heavy. No. Um, but anyways, I like, uh, grab both Williams and I like try to push him out of the door. Hey, oh what go on, calm down, bro. Hey, let me get my pants on. Damn. And no, no time for pants. good out oh a guy No time for pants. I'm going to rip it out here.
00:28:02
Speaker
i have get off of you Right over there on the on the cat castle made out of the couch in the three lamppost It's mine now, bye He picks up the cereal box and like puts it around his waist as he walks outside that me um no Don't worry I got you And You're crowded right now in the closet, Snowsmere, and I'm going to make some coffee.
00:28:39
Speaker
ah And after that, I'll head over to... Don't know if there's any coffee in there. So much for taking care of the place. Plus, Williams has a goldfish in your coffee pot. Well, like, I don't drink coffee because you know what happens to me when I drink coffee. You don't want to know what happens when I drink coffee because, like,
00:29:01
Speaker
there is an and the thing that just switches in my brain and me on coffee and I would be all over this place and the walls would be scratched up and you know like all of a sudden I would go and bite off the heads of other little rakush or not rakushans the the the fish people the aquariums and and You don't want to know what happens to me on coffee, so I don't buy the stuff and so you were gone And so like I was taking care of the place and so here you go. You're welcome ah I Improved it to check this out like you know like there's really cool fun places to like climb up on and Like you know and the like the beds even better like it's cushy like feel that it's awesome, huh? Yeah, I know right You know it will take me quite a time to get rid of all this mess
00:29:56
Speaker
I'm somewhere so like one of Steve's brain cells died. Just just like listening to that fucking like. I never should have just like everyone's eyes. His eyes are just like, what the fuck? Like, like, I wish you guys would shut the window when you're talking. Can you? Oh, my God. Where the hell is stoop?
00:30:22
Speaker
Cue actions, roll through the window. I was waiting for you to say my name. I always hang outside on the windowsill waiting for someone to say my name. Finally! I'm actually here when someone says it. Why are you right out of my window? I just told you. I decided to do the reflect area window. I thought I said it would work. Well, I just... He, like, i sleeps out on the landing. It's fine. I just... I needed a roommate.
00:30:52
Speaker
I roll myself up in a bowl inside my outfit, and then sometimes I hang myself up like a little jacket from whatever window sills nearby from when I'm dying.
00:31:05
Speaker
That's normal, I think. That's not my voice. It's certainly normal, yeah. but Wait a minute. I thought you was dead anyway. Are you a ghost? Because contractually, you have to tell me. and Contractually, I am a ghost.
00:31:21
Speaker
But I'm contractually, I'm alive. You're unalive, meaning you're dead. I'm alive. And they're like, punch him. Does that feel real? like No, not really. You punch like a little girl. Yep, that's having all right. Hey, we knew you'd make it back, pal. We was just, we was just waiting for you to get back on your feet. You know,
00:31:50
Speaker
I don't really believe that you are waiting for me, but... I don't really have a choice, so... What have you guys been doing, like, so week? Well, let me ask you this then, mate. Where the fuck were you for a week? Did you ever think to call us? Mm-hmm. You have our numbers. Snow's all pointy as a dupe, like, yeah, see? That's exactly what I was saying.
00:32:20
Speaker
You're still in the closet. She's just like has like an arm like reaching out of the door. yeah I mean, is your communication device broken? Did it get damaged when you got blasted? Everything got cut damaged, including myself. Oh, and let me guess. Let me guess. Some lizard man found you in the desert and dragged you back to his lair where all of his friends live and patched you right the fuck up.
00:32:49
Speaker
You know, that's not the proper truth. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, what are you serious? Yeah. I fucking knew if I kept saying something like that one day, it would be true. One day you'll be right. I mean, I'll see you explain it on back. ah yeah Another one came from the factory.
00:33:13
Speaker
Much so much units just gets produced by a factory. Oh, well, One day I'll say that one and that'll be correct too. It's just that day is not today. The day is not today, no. It's not today. Anyway, so like, what are you doing back here then, man? That's not how I talk. I'm back here to like pay you guys a visit to like check how my place is doing, which is not good apparently. There was like some weird guy over there in my kitchen. And yeah.
00:33:47
Speaker
And there's like some pesky, there's also some pesky fucking goldfish that moved in that doesn't want to pay rent. You know, that's a problem. I need to like put it on a contract. So he's like contractually obligated to pay me money. You should just go kick his ass and then let me eat him. I thought you'd pay for that. I can't believe there's a fish living here and Snow hasn't eaten him already. That's kind of weird, yeah.
00:34:13
Speaker
And then you hear, I'm just fighting my time. Give me Goldie before I still eat her. I would keep her off of her. Give me Goldie, please, before I leave. I need my fish. She's going to eat it, brother. Come on. Don't you think that I'm not fattening it up for myself? He's just too skinny for me right now.
00:34:34
Speaker
Guys, come on, come on. If I ain't gonna be able to hang out here, she didn't even, I was trying to, this whole week, I've been trying to get some of that, but she hasn't been, she's been locking it down tighter than four dogs, and I was hoping maybe I could give the fish to her, but fuck it, come on, give me the fish, please. Don't you lie, it's been every night, twice. Yeah, that's bad. I'm fucking high if you've been there, you handlebarred bitch. What?
00:35:00
Speaker
I said, how fucking high have you been that you forget getting laid by a big fluffy cat lady? God, every time you talk, fucking hair comes off your tongue. and You know what a fucking brother, just keep the fish. I open the door and I kick him away. um like I believe a brother. We're having a family reunion right now. Fuck off. And.
00:35:29
Speaker
And I take the sword out so it still can't come out. So, what are you guys like up to right now? Well, I don't particularly think we had any plans. My my job usually starts at night, so nothing. That's very interesting. Do you wanna like play cards?
00:35:55
Speaker
Sure, let's play cards. All right, whoever wins gets to eat Goldie. Okay, I'm done for that. Okay, we're gonna play three rounds, highest card. places so It's just the game called highest guard. She wants to eat that thing. So I've got a three. Oh, and I've done the first round. I haven't got a 10 stupid, got a six, seven, one for seven for what's the face? A nine for what's his face? A two for stupid. No, wait, two, two is a wild card. I can make it whatever I want. Two's a wild. Oh, it's not a real stupid.
00:36:36
Speaker
This is a lot. What are you making it into? I want to make it into a queen. Oh, fuck. Okay. Stoop wins in the second round. Three. He gets an eight for Evan. So it's a King. Oh my God.
00:36:50
Speaker
ah boy guy My age is a choker. That's what I get up rules. You see her just take the fish with it to with her pointer and her thumb claws and just takes it by the tail and just drops it into her mouth. I go and start poking her in the belly. I go and start poking in the belly. No, get out of there.
00:37:18
Speaker
He didn't win. we' That's not fair. was like It was messed up. Too late. I grab her tongue. Get in there. I start pulling on her tongue.
00:37:31
Speaker
so would like paul williams for all she goes down it smells It smells like dwarf cock. Ah shit. and just Actually, I don't know what boss Williams is. He smells like It smells like human schlog and bad hair product.
00:37:56
Speaker
and
00:38:00
Speaker
ah
00:38:02
Speaker
So what do we do now? It's fucking disgusting.
00:38:10
Speaker
Um, so you guys hung out for, I'll say that's like a couple of minutes and, uh, stoop, uh, your, if your phone rings.
Murder Mystery: Stoop's Involvement
00:38:19
Speaker
Your, whatever you have in your suit. shit hang like ah Alexander answer phone. No answering phone. Oh, there we go. All right. It's working. Hey stoop. It's me, uh, Ollie. Oh, Ollie. What the fuck, man. I'm seeing you guys. I always say hello where I'm from.
00:38:39
Speaker
Oh, hey, what's yeah whats fuck? I'm more dwarf than fuck, man. um Anyway, you have you been hanging on outside of any windows that have people watching TV and the news on the inside? Uh, actually, yeah, I was watching, I was watching the terrible view this morning with all those crazy chicks at the couch. Uh, you're watching the run. Listen, dude, I don't know. Something, something's weird happening. There's some reports, some dead bodies have been found with their, their heads dissolved down to the bone. And next to them, I'm having a hard time, you know, I'm always trying to be positive. I'm having a hard time putting a positive spin on this buddy. Right next to them is written, their skulls aren't silver. I don't know, somebody, I think somebody's got a grudge on you there.
00:39:17
Speaker
I will get in fucking line. good Good. Hey, good thing you won't. I mean, youre hey, you're you're making an impact on somebody, but just they're treating their negative turn. They're making a lot of it. But yeah, I think it's been like three. hack Where was it? Oh, there's by how many different places? ah there was There's like one down on off of Rifter Street and one other one off of Rafter Street. Rifter Street and Rafter Street. Yeah. and there um first of Those are on the opposite sides of town.
00:39:46
Speaker
Yeah, this guy's going all over the place. Can you believe it? Fuck! Why wouldn't they put those near each other? That's stupid city design. Yeah, I don't know, man. this like with got the built this city kind of stupid though although I guess.
00:39:59
Speaker
I guess like if they're an alphabetical order, there's rift and then, you know, uh, rafter. Let's start trying to do the alphabet again. Okay. Doing it backwards is hard. Doing it forwards is hard too. I just want to tell you, I didn't know. Yeah. I didn't know how much you get on TV or anything. So, uh, how about you keep up with current events sometimes and you're always just bashing the skull against people's skulls. So, uh,
00:40:22
Speaker
so let's know there Hey, Ollie. Ollie, just real quick, bud. but Since I got you on on the line. Um, do you know anybody who'd want to buy some wubby guns? That's like not that shit. It's a wubby gun. You know, I could shoot like wubs, you know? I mean, I'm sure any, uh, people that like shooting guns will probably buy them off. You know how many, um, probably cyborgs would love something like that, probably.
00:40:45
Speaker
back I don't want to give guns out to bad dudes, I want to give them out to people who would do good shit. Well, I don't think anybody's gonna, I don't think you're gonna meet that criteria anymore, my friend. ah Hey, I'm sorry to say, ah you know? Well, you know, I made my fortune selling to, like, near-to-well people. And, uh, so some of these gangs are kind of my fault. So, like, you know, I kind of don't want to do that anymore. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. Yeah, that's how I got this fucking bitch in suit, man.
00:41:15
Speaker
Oh, well, I didn't know that. So you're kind of like you, you, you paid your what you bought your way into vigilantism by doing. Help. No, no, I happen to find some mobster that fucking just died himself on like, a I don't know how he died. I just assumed he had a heart attack or something. He had a bunch of cool fucking strap in the back of his car. I wait and just snuck up, break a couple next took what I could just because I was doing my civilized duty.
00:41:43
Speaker
And then I didn't know, I just asked around till somebody decided to buy some shit. Luck so happens, a bunch of fucking slippery fish bitches decide they're gonna buy the stuff. They got a lot of money for some reason. and I come into a shit ton of money now, i'll buy myself a sick bitchin' suit, realize, hey, you know what? That was kind of a shitty thing I did. And now I gotta go and take care of it. Right in the wrongs, you know how it is. Okay.
00:42:09
Speaker
Crazy, so, it's the fish, did you help finance the hydro gang? Uh, yeah, can't, well, not finance per se, but I gave them a lot of bad shit that they ultimately used to- Help them get a boost? Man, that's crazy. Hey, I mean, hey, who wanna judge? Anyway, I just wanna let you know that, buddy. Um, oh, uh, titty, titty, titty, titty, titty, titty's magoo is getting on stage, so I gotta go. Oh, fuck, hang on, I'll be right there.
00:42:37
Speaker
Alexander, hang up the phone. Hanging up the phone. Nice. Hey guys, do you guys have any? Oh, did you guys hear him me talking? I forget you guys can't hear what I hear. Yeah. You guys didn't hear that part about the hijos, did you? I heard like some things here. Ah.
00:43:00
Speaker
No, I wasn't really paying attention. I was, uh, staring at, uh, boss. Uh, anyways. Was he trying to wash your mouth out with some high industrial scope? No.
00:43:16
Speaker
Right. Did you put Mr. Ian in your cat bowl again? Maybe. Alright, hey, here's the deal, Jessica Biel. Someone's out for my head and they're killing other people and melting the skulls off, so... I gotta kinda go investigate that on a account of people are dying because of me, so... Um... I'm gonna go do that. You guys don't have to come. I'm just like, you know, I gotta go to Rifton. I don't fucking know. People are crazy. Why do you think I got the costume? In the armor. It does look fancy. Thank you for the compliment.
00:43:50
Speaker
Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go do some rooftop jumping to get to Rafter Street, and go see the melted people, and figure out who the hell's trying to kill me. Okay, I'm actually in my apartment. I mean, you can come if you want, but I mean, I don't ca- there's no payment. I'm just going to investigate murderers. Well, I mean- Well, I kinda guess it's my job. I kinda don't like m- like mean people like that anyways, so I mean, I'm down to help.
00:44:18
Speaker
You know, I almost bought a shirt the other day, Snow, that said, mean people suck on it. That's true. so Yeah. I'm not mean. I'm a vigilante, but these people are just mean.
00:44:33
Speaker
Man, I don't like mean people. It's just like, why be mean? Why can't you just like love everybody? Like mean people fucking suck. That's what I'm saying. Mean people fucking suck. Mean people fucking suck. Right Evan?
00:44:52
Speaker
Say it again. We need to make a song for this so that we can play it in the car. And then people will be like, where did you get that song from? we Like, yo, it's ours.
00:45:06
Speaker
How about this? Mean people get to fucking suck that then that mean people get to fucking and suck. But then it did run some again. I mean, people suck. kind cool yeah buttons Get out of here, boss. Where's my face? God damn it. Come on, brother.
00:45:23
Speaker
I love that little thing. Put your hands on it. Come help me investigate my my murderer. Decide everyone. Let me get my pants. Evan, give the guys fucking trousers. We can get the hell out of here. I've been afraid to go outside, brother. That's after we get a chance. I get to drive. I am there. Oh, yeah. As long as I can. Well, actually, I don't have anything. Yes. As long as you can drive. Can I can I come through and go down the fire escape?
00:45:52
Speaker
Guy pants. Put your pants on and go get in the car, you fucking friend. Let's go. I got my boxers. They're going to excite me for. Go put your fucking. Yeah, you can. You can take my pants and he reaches into his armor.
00:46:04
Speaker
yeah
00:46:07
Speaker
Rip and pulls them out. It's like I like to imagine it. That's stupid. Just always naked. It is. all but Well, now when it gets hot, hills he'll stick to stuff in there. Apparently, he never had your balls stick to the inside of a power suit. If you don't think I've tried going commando in my armor, you're fucking crazy. But now I know better. There's still skin sticking on here that I don't know what kind of cleaner to use to get off. Boss starts pulling your pants up as he's like, he stops like up at his thighs. He's like, I'm not going to catch anything, am I? Just some really cool fucking looks, mate. I probably already got it anyway. and There you go.
00:46:45
Speaker
came my Well, yes. So em you might well I mean, ah I mean, wet we've been there together before. We want to get stuff checked out. I've been a lot in places since we were together the last time. So I mean, who knows what I got picked up since then. I'm just saying. It's fine. I've got all my shots. You smell like rabies and STIs. You're right, dude. No, I'm fine. No, not you. And he's right. You smell like you've been rolling around with pigs. I do have rabies, man.
00:47:16
Speaker
I got a thing for catch. You don't think I got rabies? go You smell like raccoon sausage. You ever been down to one of the fur houses down in Rifter Street? man yeah
00:47:29
Speaker
Anyway, I'm know like Fox Newt. Anyway, interesting idea. Well, don't go to the fur house. It's not a place to go and pet dogs. It's something else.
00:47:46
Speaker
by first You know what, Evan? I'll take you there when we're done, okay? Okay. All right. Let's get in the fucking car. If you guys want to go investigate a murderer, clean your house. I don't care which. You can do that. All right. What do you mean, clean our house? I mean, clean her house. This is not my place. My place is right here. Kink, kink.
00:48:05
Speaker
my My house. Yeah, this is my house. This is my house. It's not your house. Just jumping back out the window. It's my house. Boss Williams looks at his side. He runs, he sprints through and jumps out with you. He's like, my house. My house. My house. For fuck's sake. Snowsphere like dangles the keys in front of him and then like does a hop, skipping a jump out the window. We have stairs.
00:48:34
Speaker
why is like a deep bread and like chase after snow spear za She's a cat so she's gonna land on her feet and then Evan comes over and just lands on his face. I am a human, I can land on your butt. I can land on my ass like other people. yeah
00:49:39
Speaker
well does it look good already
00:50:06
Speaker
He doesn't look good already.