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Interview with the CEO of Spotify
46 Plays11 months ago
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Transcript
Opening Greetings and Humor
00:00:05
Speaker
Happy National Prayer Day. Stay prayed up. God bless you. I might be the best dressed person working from home in America today. Zach cared about what I'm doing. I want to represent the core and Zach cared about it. Let me see it prove me wrong. It's all about pushing everyone to new heights.
Sensitive Topics and Work Life
00:00:35
Speaker
I'm not going to say what race, what people doctor, and what hospital, and what media it went to. We know I can't say that. It was a Jewish doctor. Let's go. Right now, I've got to get back to work. A little midday walk. Got to crank out these financial models because these inputs got you all fixed up. Let's go.
Unusual Inventions and Encouragement
00:01:04
Speaker
I did everything right and they indicted me. I don't know about this, artificial moon? Apparently, Steiner's plan is to create this to make gravity disappear. Yeah, gravity.
00:01:28
Speaker
Hey Tyler, this is Jared from The Subway Guy. Keep fighting the good fight. You are my little Subway man and will always be that way. This is my voice one day after being a total psychopath. This is my voice one week after being a psycho.
Fun with Ninja Moves and Cold Weather Queries
00:01:58
Speaker
What's up, TikTok fans? Naruto Uzumaki on the scene. In this video, I'm going to be teaching Ava and Lily how to perform ninja moves. Can anybody tell me what can I do with these ladybugs? It's cold outside. Can I let the ladybugs go?
00:02:30
Speaker
That in the pike, can we get that in the main? Can we get that queued up? Can we get that on the ready? Can we get that ready to go main stage?
High Energy Meetings and Sleepy Podcasting
00:02:37
Speaker
Can we get that ready to launch? Can we get it ready to manifest? Can we get it ready to energize? Can we get it ready to unfold? Can we get it ready to raise? Can we get it ready to explode?
00:02:54
Speaker
I'm about to be absolutely dialed in going to this monthly meeting. I've been up since 4.30 AM. Energy's through the roof. Someone's got to drive the innovation and creativity to keep everyone's money safe. Hey, let's get after it today.
00:03:10
Speaker
Welcome to Dudes R Us, the first podcast where everyone recording is asleep. Please listen our deep snoring and subscribe, review and join the Reddit. Love you, Babes.
Kidnapping Story: Scam or Reality?
00:03:21
Speaker
They they kidnapped him and with the money they ended up stealing was like for a charity or something. I didn't watch the whole thing. I didn't even watch it. What happened? Like he he his daughter or his two kids.
00:03:40
Speaker
I think I'm a rectangular guy. I'm a rectangular guy. Um, he, what did he do? He went to Mount Kilimanjaro. South Africa. That sounds like it can't possibly be correct. India. That's gotta be in like Tanzania or something. That's where it is.
00:04:04
Speaker
Um, Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania in Africa. So you were right about the continent, Bob, but about as far away from South Africa as like Boston is from Hawaii. Now maybe like Boston from like LA. Okay. Anyway.
00:04:24
Speaker
Uh, went, he went to Mount Kilimanjaro with his kids to promote a song. He wrote about being spherical or some fucking circle. No one asked him to come do no one, definitely no one asked him to do definitely like, uh, more than just not asking him to do like probably hated the fact that he did that. But anyway,
00:04:50
Speaker
Allegedly, according to his video that he posted after the video of singing a song on the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro, he said that his mom runs some kind of charitable outreach in either Tanzania or Kenya, I can't remember which he said. And so he was like, we were visiting
00:05:19
Speaker
So like after we did the Kilimanjaro thing, we visited my mom at this charity school that she runs. She's been running for 20 years. And then, well, and then I use the weirdest phrase that stuck with me more. And he was like, and we enjoyed her for several days. They just like used a really weird way of saying like, we had a great time hanging out with my mom.
00:05:48
Speaker
Um, but anyway, he was like, and then as we were like leaving, we got pulled over by what we thought were police. They weren't actually police. Got him. But they like arrested us and put us in a car and then drove us around to ATMs and made, and kept making my mom take money out of ATMs. And he's like kind of crying as he's telling the story, I guess, cause like he's a father and his kids are there and he's worried they're going to kill him and stuff like that. So.
00:06:18
Speaker
you know, okay, grow a pair. And then he's like, he's like, thankfully, once, you know, we weren't able to take out any more money, they just let us go. But now my mom's charity, they took all the money. So like, please donate. So now I think that's how I shit. Yeah, I think it's a scam. Not a scam. But I think it's like, you know, it's like burning down the barbershop for the insurance money, charity with
00:06:45
Speaker
Charity was failing anyway. And rectangular guy was like, dude, that's bullshit. That's so sketchy. It's like, bro, what, you can take out a max of $800. Yeah. And they fucking that's so bold. Like, dude, we know how ATMs work. You fucking idiot. Yeah. So, right. So either the charity had
00:07:10
Speaker
two thousand dollars in it or they drove around for like a full day hitting like hundreds of atms and you got to figure um go to the fucking you only have a withdrawal limit though you can yeah then that was the other thing i was gonna say is like well that so so i'm then i'm to believe that in a country where it's conceivable that you get
00:07:35
Speaker
arrested by fake police who who who force you to take out money in your credit card like that. That is a thing that a rant like a fairly like an Instagram famous Canadian tourist that happened to so it must happen fairly commonly that that there is no
00:07:55
Speaker
Like that bank of Nairobi would not see that you just maxed out your withdrawal limit on like three ATMs within the course of an hour and, and freeze your account. They wouldn't do that, which seems that seems to strain my disbelief. I think either without with, or without fraud, you can only take out like 1200.
00:08:21
Speaker
Yeah. Or in like the side you go up, it's like, it can go up to like 1200 if you request. Yeah. Or Tanzania and ATMs don't have, uh, any like, you know, they don't, or there's no, maybe the ATMs have withdrawal limits, but there's no like total days, amount of money where your bank would be like, and that seems sketchy. Um,
00:08:48
Speaker
Yeah, dude. That guy's a scam artist committing international. Philanthropic fraud. Did you look? Can you can you look in the comments real quick and see if anybody's calling them out for that? Oh, that's a good idea. Let's see. Hey, dude, that's bullshit, dude. And then please donate to her bullshit. Donate like it.
Charity Work Critique and Outdoor Adventures
00:09:15
Speaker
Is her thing in Tanzania, you said?
00:09:18
Speaker
Uh, he, he didn't say which country, but given that he was in Kilimanjaro, it's gotta be either Tanzania or Kenya. Yeah. Go fuck off, dude. How about do that somewhere else? Um, and he's like drinking Starbucks or Tim Hortons while he tells the story. Oh, he's the worst. And he's got a Tesla too. All right.
00:09:49
Speaker
Um, let's see top comment. That was not very rectangle. You're okay. Oh my God rules. Number two common Jesus Christ. We all play into meme stuff of course, but that, but all of that aside, this is beyond traumatizing. I'm so sorry. Um, don't listen to them.
00:10:14
Speaker
Yeah. Third comment. Incredibly circular behavior from those bandits. Glad your family is okay. Yes. Fourth comment. I hate your music, but I'm glad your kids are okay. Not even you and your kids are okay. I'm glad your kids are okay. I wish they took you. Okay. Let's see. 10 comments in. Do I have to be the one?
00:10:43
Speaker
Is this a scam? You got to break it down and go, there's with ATM withdrawal limits. This must be a scam. I'm about to do this. Dude, you have to. Why, why wouldn't you? You can't let them scam you like this, dude.
00:11:12
Speaker
We're looking out for other people. I liked that somebody commented that it's not very rectangular of them. That is fucking hilarious. That's a good roast. He starts like crying halfway through it. And I'm just like, I just can't imagine going and posting shit like that on Instagram.
00:11:45
Speaker
I'm so scared. I'm gonna cry Let me retell this story to everybody keep that shit to yourself All right, well shots fired at uh, he's gonna see years he's gonna be like what the fuck I
00:12:07
Speaker
Yeah, dude, I'm about to get the rectangular army after me. I'm just going to get banned from his page. I'm excited to see what happens. There's like no swearing on my page, please. What swear did I use?
00:12:26
Speaker
fraud, fraud, fraud protection. Yeah. Fraud protection or just daily limits. That's what I said. I was like, I was like, there's no withdrawal limit or account. Like, yeah, we'll see. It's really not cool, dude. That's my, that's my kids.
00:12:46
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And that's the thing you, you know, he's like tearing up and he's talking about like, he's just worried about his, what they're going to do to his kids. And then you top that off with like, Hey, so if any of you are feeling generous, you know, you tell the poll at people's heartstrings store and then you're like, by the way, please donate money to my mom's charity. I'm a little bit skeptical for all demons, Sean Stevens calling you out right now.
00:13:17
Speaker
Why'd you pay for that trip to Tanzania, Sean? Yeah, dude, fix something else, dude. You pay for that with fraudulent charity money? Probably. Probably. If you had to film that video of himself spinning down the aisle again. We're coming. We're getting to the bottom of this shit, bro.
00:13:42
Speaker
aside the borders of all the countries in africa are jacked as fuck who who did this why do people feel like sorry if i offend anybody but why the fuck do people go over there and do that shit go to kilimanjaro go to fucking yeah don't you say i'm gonna go fucking the random parts of africa oh yeah you don't
00:14:10
Speaker
Fucking don't fuck what It's funny you reminded me that I have two friends that Do like international teaching Wow great. Yeah, and they are How many kids if they fucking said to yell tell me that? What's their fucking teaching?
00:14:36
Speaker
Make it make a real den the goddamn universe and then I'll change my mind No, they sent a text a group text to like the friend group a Couple weeks ago. I want to say that was like hey, we're Heading to wherever the fuck it was you see he was on the news. Just please Bails out Asking us to buy school supplies on oh get out of here. Oh
00:15:05
Speaker
And I will not. I mean, yeah, I mean, I meant to do that. And I bet I'm like, now I'm like, shit, I totally forgot about that text. And I'm probably too late now. You're getting grifted by your own friends. Yeah, dude. That's fine, dude. What are they going to griff me out of colored pencils? That's fine. Man, and we're going to Gaza or something. Yeah. We need a thousand pounds of gunpowder. That's hilarious. A couple of cruise missiles.
00:15:38
Speaker
that's very funny okay am i too late don't buy anything come on oh they're actually going to tanzania zumba tanzania no they're not yeah yeah tell them to stay home call out sick oh i'm not that long ago this was only eight days ago that's not too late they don't want to do that dude
00:16:08
Speaker
Let them talk to Aiden first. Yeah. Put them on the line, dude. Name fucking three kids. Oh, I have time. I have time. I have like three days of time. You're the worst. Wait. Wait. Everything on this list has been purchased. That's fine. That means no one knows I didn't do anything. Purchase, purchase, purchase, purchase, purchase.
00:16:36
Speaker
filter for, uh, unpurchased items, sort priority. Sounds like these people are professional grift. Oh, everything on the list was purchased. All right. I'm good. Well, I can't help. Well, I will say that this, I will say that this, uh, wishlist says Tanzania, Illinois. And that's kind of sketching. Oh God. They're doomed.
00:17:06
Speaker
Um, all right. Well, I feel like we're going to Mexico to do, um, fucking charity work. Then they have it to PO box in Mexico, New York. Yeah. Yeah. Literally. We didn't specify what Mexico. Yeah. Dude. Literally the borders in Africa are savage. I shouldn't use that word. Uh, dude.
00:17:37
Speaker
The, there's a country called the Gambia, those part of the name, the Gambia that is just, that is just the only river in Senegal. Whole, whole country of Senegal, big old country. This, the Gambia country, a little like snake poop shaped country. That is just a river.
00:18:05
Speaker
Like they were like, all right, you can have the desert part and we'll have the river part. This shit in Nambia, the top top right corner of Nambia just has this like long arm that sticks in between Botswana and Zimbabwe like
00:18:31
Speaker
like the same length of the rest of the country that just like, that is just a main road. It's like, we were like, like, what did I say? It was called NAM Namibia. Sorry. Namibia was like, I got there. Namibia was like,
00:18:47
Speaker
would be like if Massachusetts was like, we want the I-90, or we want I-90. And just like Massachusetts just took over the rest of I-90. That was part of the state. It was probably a railroad, I guess. Maybe not the state where they used it for like flood diamonds or something. That sounds right.
00:19:08
Speaker
Uh, and then you just got, what is this? Lesotho is like an island, not even, not an island, but you got South Africa and then you got Lesotho, which is entirely inside of South Africa. It's like, uh, it's like, uh, whatever. Anyway, this is great content.
00:19:32
Speaker
I bet this guy's going to fucking comment back on you. You better. He's going to get real defensive. He's going to be like, how could you say this when my children were in danger and be like grifter? Trying to tell me banks, banks don't work when you get kidnapped. Like, just explain it. Just explain it and we'll be good.
00:20:01
Speaker
So this guy posted that video of him on the mountain first. Yeah, video of the mountain latest on him doing this. Is one video of the mountain of him on the mountain promoting his song about being circular on Mount Kilimanjaro first, then. Let's see how many. How much later? Uh.
00:20:33
Speaker
Okay. How do you look up a date on Instagram? Does it say? Should be like down in the bottom corner when you look at the post. On a reel? Doesn't fucking matter. So he posted that and then he posted the one where he got kidnapped like however many days later.
00:20:58
Speaker
But yeah, and then you didn't, and then you also didn't take down the video of you on Mount Kilimanjaro. Oh, you're like traumatic experiences and stuff. I don't know, I guess maybe that, I don't know. Mentioning that you're promoting your song in your video about being kidnapped is kind of weird too. We got this guy who blew the lid off of this.
00:21:29
Speaker
This recording yourself crying and then posting it online is also pretty suspect. Yeah. That's intense attention seeking behavior. Well, oh, from the rectangular guy who did who liked song his song on a on a plane. What do you think these people think about me singing on the plane right now? Like, probably
00:21:56
Speaker
Somebody's like, sit down, assholes. Fucking being on a plane sucks anyways. Don't need you to make it any worse. Probably the air marshal wants to kill you. Where is the air marshal on the plane usually? There's no air marshal. That was a fucking myth. Oh, really? I don't know. But why'd you say it so confidently if you don't know? That is my, that's my, that's my superpower. Confident lying.
00:22:25
Speaker
I think maybe there was I would believe that like right after 9-11 maybe for like a couple months there was there was potentially an air marshal on most flights or like a good percentage of flights. But I think it was more one of those things where they're like yeah there's their secret so like you don't know and that makes you believe that they might be there. Okay.
00:22:56
Speaker
Um, but there's no way there's just enough people to, there's no way there's enough air marshals to staff every flight. You don't know that there's could be 20,000 air marshals. Okay. There's 87,000 domestic flights per day. Okay. Let me see how many people are in the United States again.
00:23:27
Speaker
Uh, probably like 380 million. 340 million. So yeah, I think that you covered 87,000 flights with that. Um, you just said there's probably 20,000 air marshals, which is a huge fucking number. There's 87,000 air marshals. I just looked it up. There's 87,000 commercial flights per day. Perfect. It lines up.
00:23:58
Speaker
So there's one air marshal per flight. What happens when one thing gets sick? Then the other one just goes on two planes at once. Yeah, exactly. They split the planes. So that's why a delay happens, actually, because there's not an air marshal around. I mean, that's like a pretty good theory. But then you see these these videos now recently of people like losing their shit on planes and you would think the air marshal would step in. That's just too small potatoes for them.
00:24:28
Speaker
You think it's just small potatoes and Marshall's like, this isn't terrorism. So it's not exactly. I step in when the big dogs come out. All right. I'm not. See, the thing is, the only way the only way to test your theory is to do a terrorism.
00:24:50
Speaker
I don't advise that. Yeah, I don't think I can. I don't think I can. We're not like your friends in Tanzania. Yeah. Causing issues all around the world. And I don't think I can be like, oh, no, sir. I wasn't really trying to break into the cockpit. I was doing a bit to prove there was no air marshal on the flight. And where the fuck do you get off thinking you can go to another country and teach people? How about that?
00:25:20
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Some like don't have the fucking nerve. Some Canadian white lady who's like, I'm, I'm your savior. Yeah. Fuck off, dude. Let these be, unless these people are becoming CEOs and fucking going to Yale. Guess what? Working, cutting it. The teaching ain't working out too hard. Right, Paul? Yeah.
00:25:50
Speaker
Get a new job. How about that?
Urban Experiences and Humorous Stories
00:25:54
Speaker
Jared, you should text that back into the group chat. Text what? Text that back. Like, are you guys planning on doing this forever? Oh, don't go into Tanzania. Just the whole teaching gig thing. Oh. Is this like going to happen much longer?
00:26:18
Speaker
It's weird when people like they went to camps, sleep away camp like a specific sleep away camp as kids. And then as adults, they want to be a camp counselor there. No, yeah, that's very, I think that's very weird. Very weird, right? Okay. Or if you go to any camps when you're a kid and then you go camping as an adult. What do you mean?
00:26:53
Speaker
Explain yourself. I mean, that was where I didn't mean to say that, guys. I'm fine. You can have wrong opinions if you want camping. So like. Like, yes, I've been a ton when it's lately drizzling out and everything that you have is fucking kind of what?
00:27:16
Speaker
It's not always raining. It rained last year, but there's a lot of years where it doesn't rain at all. It rained on Shannon and I when we were up in Acadia. It's terrible. Are you saying you didn't have fun camping? Not for that last day where we just got wet for the second 24 hours. That's not fun. I got wet.
00:27:40
Speaker
did camping two thumbs down i like the camp but that's one of them in that's not fun me water i don't like water i'm damp who's that it's popped oh damn dude that doesn't sound like him do it one more time
00:28:15
Speaker
I like water the most. I don't. I'm the most water. Come on, Pops. Hit him back with the New York City one. I don't know what you're talking about. You got to hit him back because he's in New York City. You got to do his impression of him being in New York City.
00:28:45
Speaker
I can't do New York. Do you walk in your classic impression of everybody? Yeah. Do your, do your Jared impression? No. Is that cause you don't have one or cause you think you'll hurt my feelings? He thinks he's Frank Sinatra. He's in New York.
00:29:09
Speaker
Oh, hang on a second. I got to grab something. He hit the eject button on impression. It's too good. It's way too good. Man, how are you getting to the airport in New York? You got to fucking get two hours early to the airport there.
00:29:38
Speaker
I don't know what I will. I mean, no, I've never gotten to the airport. Well, not never. You know what I mean? Like I've probably still plan to get there like no more than an hour early. Yeah, of course. Because like what is a Wednesday morning at LaGuardia going to even be? There's no way there's like people very Chinese at seven a.m.
00:30:04
Speaker
But I will say the, I think it's just because of how many people there are in New York, but, but when you call an Uber here, it is instantly ready and it's somehow right next to you already. I've called like an Uber like six, six times this week. Oh, it's like Austin where it's like right next to you, right?
00:30:25
Speaker
No, I mean I feel like in Boston it takes a minute like they'll be like your uber's like three minutes away here it's legit been like multiple times where I called it and it was like
00:30:36
Speaker
It didn't even go to like the we're finding you a driver screen or like your driver is on the way screen. It instantly went to a like your driver is here like right where you're standing and like I'm trained from living not in New York to be like call your Uber like three minutes before you need the Uber because it's going to take a minute. So now it's just beeping outside waiting for you. Yeah, legitimately that.
00:31:00
Speaker
like texting me within 30 seconds being like, I'm here. I was like, I'm I'm a five minute walk away from you. This is a problem. Okay, last time I went to the airport, I was bored. I got there while my flight was boarding. It was awesome. That's dope. However, I did forget that I had a knife on me when I went through security and they
00:31:24
Speaker
ripped my bag apart. I was like, What the hell is going on? And he finally got to the knife and I was like, Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, that makes sense. What knife was it, bro? Just a husky knife. I was like, God, damn it. Very surprised. Oh, shit. It's I mean, I've done it multiple times. But the most recent time I
00:31:52
Speaker
didn't remember, I forgot I had a knife. And it was like I left the knife, the pocket knife in the pocket of a pair of pants that I. Oh, that sucks. Wasn't wearing and it was in, you know, it was like folded into the clothes into the suitcase, but it was at, it was at TF Green.
00:32:11
Speaker
So they just let it go. They just went. He was like, it was, it was a similar kind of knife as the one I gave you. So it was like one of those Japanese knives. And he was like, he like couldn't figure out or not couldn't figure out what it was, but I guess he just never seen a ego knife before. So he was like, Oh, do you want to like, do you want to like, like keep this? Like, do you want to like, like go back and like, put it somewhere? And I was like, Oh man, like I'm
00:32:41
Speaker
Got to get on a plane. I'm kind of going somewhere. And he's like, this is nice. And I was like, honestly, dude, they're like, they're cool, but they're not that expensive. Like you can have it. They're like 900 bucks, dude. They're not too expensive. You can just whatever. He was psyched about it. You could tell he was like, I, he was like, I'm supposed to put this in a bin, but I'm going to like, I'm going to keep this. I'm going to ask my supervisor. Oh yeah. Special allowance today.
00:33:10
Speaker
I went to McDonald's today. This fucking guy, it's, you know, it's, it's snowing and raining at this point. And you know how, like, if your order drive-through is crazy, so I went inside order having to wait. This guy comes in and he's like, looks at me. He's like, I'm never fucking doing door dash again. Nobody wants to tip bro. And I'm like, why the fuck is this guy talking to me?
00:33:36
Speaker
And I just didn't acknowledge that he was talking to me and then he continued to talk to me. So finally I had to be like, yeah, whatever dude, be careful driving or something. But like, why do people do that shit? We're both standing. I don't want to talk to anybody when I'm standing at McDonald's, especially if not about people not tipping on fucking DoorDash. Yeah. The first thing that came to mind me, and this is like super rude, but was to get a real job.
00:34:04
Speaker
You got to tell me that's rude as fuck. Definitely tip your door to people. It's got to hook them up. If you don't want to go out driving in a fucking snowstorm. Yeah. I mean, yes. And I and I and actually I'll go that far to say like, if you are, if you're ordering DoorDash or whatever delivery
00:34:30
Speaker
on a rainy or like a snowy day you should be tipping more like tip more than 20 percent but like if you can't afford to tip uh when you're ordering delivery like don't order delivery now fucking go pick that shit up
00:34:48
Speaker
Yeah, it's not, you know, like you can feel however you want about tipping culture and like how DoorDash pays them and all that shit, but like you're choosing to engage in this admittedly fucked system. And that's not something you have to do. So at least make it like less fucked by taking care of the person who's doing work for you. People are just in a bad mood today, except the grocery store, I park next to where the EVs can charge some, I'm like one,
00:35:14
Speaker
one space over. This old woman is putting away her cart and she looks at me and she goes, are trucks electric vehicles now? And I'm like, I'm not in an electric vehicle spot. She goes, I didn't think they were. And then walks away from me. That's awesome. I'm like, what the fuck was that about? You got to press it down, dude. Well, that one killed me though. I'm like,
00:35:44
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not in an EV spot. I didn't think trucks were EVs. I was like, okay. Fucking idiot. Well, I'm not parked in one of those spots, so. I didn't think so. I didn't think so. I didn't think so. I'm like, what if I was? And I'm like, yeah, it's a fucking electric vehicle. It's one of those gay Polaris trucks. Yeah, it is. I am gay. So what?
00:36:13
Speaker
It was just so weird to even try to engage with somebody about something like that. No, your truck was an electric vehicle now. Dude, you should have fucking lost it. You know what? I've had enough of this fucking shit today. It's such a bad day. 20 minutes ago, somebody tried to talk to me about DoorDash. Off on it, dude.
00:36:41
Speaker
the door to ash thing was just weird though because I wasn't dressed in a way that would make you think I was doing door to ash I do just don't pick up the order then that's what I would have said okay don't forget about this is your choice this is your choice exactly you actually don't have to do this job you just couldn't you just wait till another fucking one comes in
00:37:05
Speaker
Then he told, and then he was like, he just kept talking to him. He's like, yup, been denying trips all day. Hell yeah. Like, what makes you think I want to talk to you about this? I'm wearing fucking overalls and a sweatshirt and I'm wet. I've obviously been outside, you know, like blowing snow and definitely not door dash delivery guy. Were you wet? Yeah, I was wet today, actually. You were damp.
00:37:35
Speaker
when you went to the grocery store. There you go. That's that's so him. Yeah, dude. Don't let him talk to you like this ball. It's okay. It's God thinks he's in New York now he's going off.
00:38:05
Speaker
Dude, I'm a New Yorker. They told me today. I was wearing my fur hat. What else? I was like, I'm walking here. And they were like, oh, man, get out of that guy's way. Eating this bagel. I did eat a bagel today. Damn. Did you get a chopped cheese? I didn't get a chopped cheese. You're a bitch, dude. Did you go to Aki? No, I'm in Midtown.
00:38:33
Speaker
Catch the train. It's catch the fucking train dude. Oh, I'm in midtown. There you go policy. Easy as that Like we know what Midtown is get out of here Did you go to the park at least greatest city in the world what park Central
00:38:56
Speaker
No, I, I went as far as like time square. And then I was like, this is a lot. I was already a mile walk to get there. It would have been like another like half mile to get to central park. And I was like, what am I going to do? Like just look at a fucking park. So I didn't go. You were so, what did it, what have you done so far? Well, I did like, I had work.
00:39:26
Speaker
so yeah i mean that's the correct noise it was definitely like it's a convention about retail
00:39:38
Speaker
Yeah, it's called, it's called NRF. It's like a retail. What do you go over there and do? Like you, there's like an exhibition hall and you like talk to vendors and you're like, this is what I do. And they're like, Ooh, I think we have a thing that could work for you. And you're like, well, I'm not going to tell you that there's no way we would pay that much money for such a stupid idea. Okay. Spent like a half hour talking to some guy who does, who, who their company has like,
00:40:09
Speaker
holographic virtual. Like a person, like a screen of a person that you can go up to and ask questions. OK, so it's like it's like a weird looking person is right, because they're like CGI. And then they you can ask that you can be like, hey, Monica, where it where are the eggs? And she'll be like,
00:40:37
Speaker
And she'll be like, the eggs are at the end of aisle 12. And be like, thanks, Monica. And you'd be like, Monica, can you tell me what the best price on bread is? And then she'll go, we currently have these breads. Wonder bread is $2.99.
00:41:06
Speaker
Martin's potato buns are $2.79, which... Cramer was right. What the hell? What the hell's this thing doing?
00:42:03
Speaker
That's fucking retarded dude, uh, yep
00:42:08
Speaker
So it was like you could load all your strain information into our chat GPT thing and then it'll learn how to talk about them the way that you would talk about them. And one, I hate that beyond anything.
00:42:34
Speaker
Like I just hate that that would be the direction that like going to a store would be like, you're not allowed to interact with a person. You have to talk to Monica. Um, and, and the end, and you can't look at a menu. You have to interface with this thing. That's like clunky and inconvenient. Um, but then also, then I'm also like, even if.
00:42:57
Speaker
Like I wouldn't, I wouldn't do this even if I had a million dollars to spend, but also like I don't have $200 to spend, so. And your hand is on your chin the whole time you're listening to these guys? Yeah. Hmm, okay, okay. All right. That's very interesting. Have you thought about? Okay. Well, I'll,
00:43:26
Speaker
Why don't you scan my, my badge and then we can, we can circle up next week. Yeah. Let's circle. Let's circle this whole thing up next week, guys. I got all these bullshit marketing emails now from LinkedIn and so fucking annoying. It's like that. It's like what you're describing right now. Somebody being like, Hey, have you ever thought about using nano bubbles at your golf course?
00:43:48
Speaker
If I couldn't, couldn't think of anything further, I think I could get my boss to let me spread beneficial insects before we would ever have a conversation about nano bubbles. Yes, I have. Thank you. I thought about it. Seems like a fucking stupid idea. Seems like in, you know, probably like 5,000 years of taking care of grass.
00:44:18
Speaker
like, a lot of like, yeah, probably don't need like, whatever the fuck thing you're selling. Well, they used to try to sell it to me all the time too. There was a guy when I was working with you that wanted to sell me something that made the plants move by vibrating the table. Oh, yeah. It was just like a vibrator for each of your plants.
00:44:49
Speaker
I was like, this is another fucking woo, stupid ass idea. Actually, you know what? I saw something today where I was like, I wish I had thought of this. There was a person who was at a spa and they were sitting under a pyramid and a woman was just holding a magnet up to their face. What? Oh yeah. Presumably the paying a lot of money for that. Yeah. I mean, all the like health and beauty industry is.
00:45:19
Speaker
A scan. What what the fuck does that do? You're just holding a magnet near your face. Yes, probably like drawing. That's the noise I made when I saw it. That's not good. That's not good. It's drawing the talks, the it's drawing the Wi-Fi audio, the positive ions away from your body and promoting
00:45:48
Speaker
Overall wellness like yeah, dude, there's just an unending Like you genuinely you just have to have no absolutely no moral compass and believe your own lies like like It just upsets me that I could be making money fucking holding and selling people to hide Selling people the use of the magnet
00:46:15
Speaker
Bro, you absolutely could. And I just need to just need to think of your own dumb thing. And it can be as ridiculous as you want. It could be like that you you run this like spa clinic where, you know, they just get completely naked and you beat that you beat the shit out of them with like with like long braids of seagrass.
00:46:42
Speaker
And you just have to, you just have to sell whatever the fuck you're saying that thing that does. So that's so much work though. This was just a woman standing there holding. That's the absurdity of.
00:46:55
Speaker
is that maybe getting whacked with a Seagrass exfoliates your skin. But this person was just standing like five feet away from them, aiming magnet at them. Yeah. I had a boss once who was like a Reiki master, which is giving older hands over you. Yeah. Which is giving a lot of credit to the, or as the word master there is doing a lot of work.
00:47:21
Speaker
because yeah, what that was actually was, was just standing above somebody holding their hands and being, and just like, quote unquote, like pushing energy into them. Figure that shit out. But she got like paid to do it. People paid her to do the Reiki. Yeah.
00:47:54
Speaker
Oh man. Joe Rogan's comedy club is hilarious. What is that? The one he built in Austin, the mothership. I don't know anything about that. It's just funny that he's like the he's like, dude, we got a bunch of crazy people in here all day. They're so crazy. It's just all a bunch of comedians that make like $6,000 for two nights on the weekends.
00:48:25
Speaker
Joe Rogan has never been around people enough that he's like, dude, they're so crazy all the time. Bunch of miss, bunch of misfits in here. I could say one thing about this group here. It's that they're crazy. It's like, you know, it's a bunch of inmates running the asylum. My $35 million comedy club.
00:48:56
Speaker
Bunch of killers. Check your text. You can see the picture of the person with the magnet. Bunch of killers in here. Bunch of old blooded killers. Ah, that's fucking so bad for you. Is it a big comically large magnet? Yes. Tell me that's not the dumbest shit you've ever seen. Oh, and it's definitely important that he's underneath the like brass frame pyramid.
00:49:25
Speaker
that I don't even the more you look at, I'm not even sure that it's a magnet. It's just like a U shaped thing. Paul, this is a real thing. I think it's a big ass tuning fork. That's a real thing. Before I cropped it. Yes, that's a true picture. I think before I cropped it, um, it said something about magnets, but I think it's a, I think it's a fucking tuning fork calling it.
00:49:55
Speaker
Like she's banging it and then just holding it up to his head. So he hears, wow, wow, wow. Yeah. And you're like, the tuning fork is like, you'd be like, the vibrations of this tuning fork are aligning your, your body's vibrations and like properly tuning your aura bullshit. I guarantee it's that. Cause that people are dumb enough to believe. I still like to think it's a magnet.
00:50:25
Speaker
In any case, just I can't believe that that's like a way to make legit money. Those health and wellness centers definitely make good money. And there's somebody out there with their wife being like, you know, we should do today. We should go have the lady hold the giant comically sized magnet four inches. Yeah. Well, that's the thing is they believe that it works. They're like, you know what, my, my
00:50:54
Speaker
My jaw pain is gone after they held the giant magnet near my face. I feel so good. I feel so good. I think I could fucking have an anvil fall on me like the roadrunner. How are the placebo effect, baby? Tuning the human biofield. That book is only $16 on Amazon.
00:51:23
Speaker
provides a precise map of the energetic biofield that surrounds the human body, showing where specific emotions, memories, traumas, and pains are stored within the biofield. Oh, and it's a winner of the 2015 Silver Nautilus Award. So the prestigious Silver Nautilus Award winning title, Tuning the Human Biofield. Teach you how to use tuning forks to heal yourself.
00:52:01
Speaker
I just can't get into that kind of stuff. Yeah, no shit. Because you're not retarded. Maybe we should just start crinkling different stuff into the mic and see if people can guess what it is. Yeah, you think so a whole hour pod. Good for the years. Some ASMR. That was that was a different lays bag. Ooh.
00:52:28
Speaker
Was it Cheetos or was it Fritos? Exactly. Was it Jax? Oh my god, do they even make Jax anymore? I love Jax. Jared, what'd you have for dinner tonight in New York City? Well, here's the thing. We were... New York NYC. NYC, baby. Get out of here. I'm walking here.
00:52:58
Speaker
Um, so here's the thing we had planned to pod at eight. Um, which is fine. I'm not mad, but I was like, if I go out somewhere, like I can't really have control of time. So I got, um, ramen from the ramen place near my hotel. Okay. You got takeout, um, which is fine.
00:53:24
Speaker
It was pretty good. I got ramen and fried chicken and edamames. It was pretty good. And I even walked by before, because it's literally two doors down from my hotel. I walked by before I ordered from it, and there was a lot of people there, because I have no idea. There's so many restaurants in New York.
00:53:44
Speaker
And half of them never have anyone in them. So I'm like, how does this place, this must be a front for something and they don't even expect anyone to ever order food. Uh, so walk by, it was like pretty full. So I was like, all right, they at least like don't kill everyone because there's people eating here. So I ordered on grub hub. I go in, um,
00:54:07
Speaker
I go to the hostess stand and I'm like oh I'm just picking up an order and she's like oh orders are pickups in the back so I go to the back and then I'm like uh
Culinary Reflections and Veganism
00:54:14
Speaker
I'm just picking up an order and they're like yeah what's the name and I was like Jared and they were like and they were like oh like like surprised like oh it's you and like handed me the bag and I was just very weirded out by that maybe they didn't think your name was Jared yeah they were like this dude who
00:54:39
Speaker
this member of the tribe and his fur hat. Ispaht. Ispaht. Oh, and then they forgot my tea. He goes, so he hands me the bag and I had ordered a peach tea with it. And I look in the bag and I don't see a drink. And he goes, there's a paper bag, like a stapled closed paper bag.
00:55:06
Speaker
And, but I don't see a drink in the plastic bag that every, that it's in. And he goes, and he goes, your drink's in the bag. So I was like, Oh, okay. Usually they don't do that, but maybe they do that here. And I get to the hotel and I open the stapled closed paper bag. There's no fucking peach tea in there. And I could have gone back and been like, you motherfucker, stop my fucking tea. What the hell? But, uh,
00:55:34
Speaker
that point. Okay. You know, so I was Oh, last night I got tacos. I went to what was it called? Takobi? Takobi? Okay. Koby. Takombi. Takombi should have just got fucking on 30th and 24th. Should just got McDonald's tonight.
00:56:04
Speaker
There is a McDonald's. I'm like, weirdly, my hotel is like right in the middle of the Chelsea flower market. We don't really understand how. And there is a, there is a, uh, McDonald's at the end of the block. I thought about it, but then I didn't end up getting it. But everyone else had McDonald's for dinner. Is that, is that what happened? I had it for dinner. Nice.
00:56:37
Speaker
Pobs did not, he had it for lunch. What was it? What are you doing on Candy Crush, bro? No, no Candy Crush. What are you up to? Listening to some fish. That's awesome. What did you have for dinner, bro?
00:57:04
Speaker
Um, we made pork tenderloin, but didn't come out very good. So I had some salad and some really good, um, asparagus that Shannon made. She blanched it and then roasted it in the toaster oven. It was good. What happened to the pork tenderloin? I just liked the recipe. It wasn't very good. You just dropped it with like oil and then you put on a bunch of chopped rosemary and salt and pepper.
00:57:31
Speaker
And you got the oven up to 500, put it in, then you shut the oven off and you let it cook. And I feel like after the hour when we opened it, the tempener oven was really low because he turned the oven off. Yeah. It was only like one 40. So it wasn't cooked fully. So then we had to keep playing the game of like, okay, well, this part's one 40 at one 45 as it would cook.
00:57:55
Speaker
till we finally cut into it. And I don't know, man. I just don't really like pork unless it's pulled pork. I like pork belly or something pork tenderloin. Just put it on the smoker out there, dude. Smoke that shit. I know. Didn't have time today. Okay. I think it just needed some more. Like you needed something or else it just tasted like a big hunk of fork.
00:58:20
Speaker
Yeah, I would say I, I always cook my pork. Um, yeah. Like medium rare. You said one 40, one 45 is what I had it up. Okay. Yeah. I usually like aim for like one, like when it hits one 37 is when I'll pull it, but it does have to be like, if you're like, like under seasoned medium rare pork.
00:58:48
Speaker
there's something weird about it. There's something that I feels like I'm eating like people. Oh yeah. You could fuck you up for a few days. Um, like the color of the meat and everything. Yeah. Yeah. Something about it weirds me out. If I, if it's, it's gotta be like I, I, I prefer pork like medium rare, but it's gotta be seasoned. Well, it was fair. I guess it was really good. Nice.
00:59:16
Speaker
They had you peel the bottom of the asparagus too. Like the side opposite the head. Yeah, you hit it with like a peeler. Let me throw it in the blanching water. That like did something you feel like peeling it? Cause I've seen things that said peel your asparagus. I'm like, it's a dumb fucking step. I feel like the skin on the asparagus
00:59:42
Speaker
Feel like a couple of things because we blanched it and then roasted it, it didn't get like mushy. You know how sometimes if you roast as strong as it starts to like flatten out. Yeah, for sure. Loses all its trigger pressure. If you do the blanching step, it doesn't. And then it was less tough. Like the skin was less tough because there was less of it on there. They were good, man. So you said like cheese and shit on them.
01:00:12
Speaker
So you went vegan basically then? Yep, pretty much. Vegan style. It's weird. Yeah, I don't like when I don't eat meat. Then you're all hungry, right? Yep. Yeah, dude. I don't get how people are fucking vegans. Just purpose purposely hungry all the time.
01:00:41
Speaker
Um, I just feel like one of the best things in life. Yeah. Like I, I just, it's just tough. Cause I'm like, I enjoy eating. Like I enjoy food so much. So I like to take to like deliberately just make eating food kind of a dull experience would be a huge bummer for me. Like, I guess I'm eating sweet potatoes again. Great. Yeah.
01:01:11
Speaker
just to eat like a baby, just to eat fucking like seven pounds of berries a day. A lot of rice and beans. Tofu rice and beans are so good. Yummy. I don't have anything wrong with me. Yeah. The amount of fruit that little children eat is absurd. Oh, I know. It's fucked up. You mean like a lot? Yeah.
01:01:41
Speaker
Cause I've cause I've only a whole can she'll eat a whole container of raspberries. If you let her, that's crazy. I mean, I guess maybe that it's yeah. I'm like my, my niece who's eight now, I have only ever seen her eat the sprinkle off of a donut in her entire life. And she somehow grows. Yep. And then you're in Thai, Thai photo every day.
01:02:09
Speaker
That's right. Ty Kwon Do. Ty Bon Bon. Ty Bon Bon's. Don't worry, Jared. I got you on some fish tunes next time you come over. Oh, good. I'm psyched. I have this thing called Live Fish now. I can listen to any show that they've played since 2004. Oh, are you doing anything this weekend for your things? I'm not sure.
01:02:41
Speaker
I'm not sure if we're going out to go ice fishing or what we're going to do. But I'll keep you updated. Keep posted. 32 is kind of a boring one. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Then I remember what I was doing online, but that's kind of the point, right?
01:03:09
Speaker
go get some birthday bourbon or something, but it's kind of not a super anticlimactic one. Fish time, fish birthday. You should do the thing where you'd listen to fish and then spin around in a circle for as long as you can. That's what Hazel does. I sort of wait and turn on music and she spins. Uh, it's your Larry birthday.
01:03:41
Speaker
You got to do something for your Larry Bird today. I don't want to do that. You can do that by yourself. Man.
Snow Removal Humor and Political Queries
01:04:11
Speaker
Maybe go sledding tomorrow. Sledding? It's good sleddings now. It's nice and frozen now. Oh, so you go like dangerously fast into a tree? Mm-hmm. I always loved when it got like that. Yeah, it's got a nice crust on top of it. Like loud as fuck and there's no friction and then you're just and like normally the sledding hill you have like, you know, like a
01:04:39
Speaker
whatever it is, 10 foot runway where you slow down, but then when that's the icy snow, you just like keep going into like the street. It's the best. Should all be like that. I was like skiing. I know that everyone hates that. It's not my favorite to ski on, but
01:05:02
Speaker
Uh, no, the crusty shit skiing on like, on like ice was kind of fun because you just had no, uh, it was like all chaos. You had no control. It's always kind of fun. I haven't signed by the snowboarding and probably 10 years for the birds, dude. I feel like it's like riding a bike. I feel like I could jump on us.
01:05:28
Speaker
snowboard, go do like one run down the blue square. And then I'd be back on the black diamonds. Yeah. Yeah. I believe that. I love the confidence. Last time I went, that's what we did. We just did one practice run down like the medium strength hill. And then we just jumped on the. Granted that was 10 years ago and I was. What about the Buffalo snow storm?
01:05:56
Speaker
Did you see that they had no assigned seats? Yeah, that fucking sucks, dude. They couldn't get the seats shoveled out before the game started in Buffalo yesterday. Oh, yeah. So they sent out a thing to all the fans and it's basically like there's no assigned seats tonight. Just find a place where you can stand safely. Jesus.
01:06:20
Speaker
Wait, so that thing that they were offering people like 20 bucks to help shovel was real. Stadiums do that. That was a bit. Now there's a bunch of people they're shoveling. Well, Fenway used to do that. I guess that makes sense. That's so much fucking shoveling to have to do. Oh yeah, dude. Hell stadium. The way they do it's crazy too. They set up these big long like
01:06:49
Speaker
They take like an irrigation pipe that you'd see on a farm and they cut it in half and then that is like now like a funnel basically and they run it down the stairs and out onto the field and you shovel all the snow down that ramp and then somebody comes by with a skid with a bucket on it and just like pushes it into the concourse and then they truck it all out.
01:07:09
Speaker
Do you see how they get rid of snow at an airport? It's pretty fucking sick. What, did they just blow the plane engine down the trunk? Turn the planes on? Put it in a trunk or some, or like some back of a truck and it just dissolves. Oh, they have those big ass mill in Canada too. That's good stuff right there. Why don't we just do that everywhere? That's a good question. Do they work like that?
01:07:36
Speaker
That year that we had all that crazy snow, was that like 2019, where we had snowed every Monday in Boston? No, that was like 2015. Yeah, where we had like nine feet of snow cumulatively. And Boston doesn't have snow melters, so they borrowed a bunch from New York or something.
01:07:56
Speaker
Canada, I think. Canada. Those storms fucking suck, dude. Yeah, that was crazy. That just sucked. That was just like a whole fucking winter of like, oh, shoveling my driveway out again. Shovel my driveway out again. Some guy wrote a creepy pasta during that about seeing a devil or something in the snow, seeing a demon in the snow, and he wrote it from like a fresh one every snowstorm. Oh, God.
01:08:25
Speaker
It was kind of funny to watch or to read while it was happening. Cause it was a fucking lot of snow, dude. It was every single Monday. Like foot or two of snow lived in Brighton at the time. And they snow plow. Um, my roommate finally dug himself out. You know, the snow, the snow banks were just huge. And then the snow plow came around and plowed him back in. Yeah.
01:08:53
Speaker
And a fucking cop just happened to be there and he actually wrote the plow guy ticket. Even the cops were sick of that shit. You guys seen killer of a flower moon or whatever the fuck it's called? No, is that out on like a streaming service yet? So what's the movie review Paul? The first half I really liked I haven't been able to watch the second half yet. My daughter woke up while we were watching it.
01:09:23
Speaker
What's the recent movie you watched from beginning to end? I don't think I can think of one. Not because I haven't. I don't watch that many movies, I guess. Okay.
01:09:51
Speaker
I did. I read Killers of the Flower Moon. That book was really good. I watched the Dave Chappelle special. Very good. Oh yeah. I watched that too. That shit was fucking hilarious. I recommend that to everybody. Big recommend. That was very good. Have you watched that yet, Jared? Yeah.
01:10:14
Speaker
Oh, man. Was laughing my fucking ass off. It was very good. See, this is why you got Netflix again, dude. You would have missed that. Yeah. Paid itself off. That old video guys about Jim Carrey in the beginning killed me. Yeah, that was very good.
01:10:32
Speaker
I just didn't get his shirt. It was like a dress shirt, like a dress kind of shirt. He's always dressing crazy. I like that. He had that classic since you went back to Africa, classic black dude shirt. They're wearing a 2000s or it's like an army shirt for some reason with the things on the shoulders and the bullets. And then, uh, but this one goes like past his knees for some reason.
01:10:58
Speaker
It's crazy how much more jacked he is now as an old man. I'm still surprised that people like that. I'm like, why do you still smoke cigarettes, dude? You're like 50 years old. Yeah. How do you? That's probably why. You're like, yeah, you've, I don't know. At that age, you've just been smoking.
01:11:22
Speaker
every day all day. We got a pack a day. You just know where you're going to, where you're going to head up. But I do appreciate that he smokes inside, even though there's like basically no clubs that you can smoke in. And then he just throws the butt on the ground in front of him. When you smoke in, am I making that up in my mind when he did the SNL? When he smoked during that, yeah. Yeah, dude. I was like, there's no rules for him. Yeah, exactly.
01:11:52
Speaker
That's how famous he is. I mean, he just broke the fourth wall and called David's in the n-word. So he can do whatever he wants. I guess it's even cooler if you smoke your whole life and you just fucking die at an old age. That's pretty sick. But that's pretty rare. I wonder what the percentage of that is. You see those like Greek grandmas that are they're having like their 116th birthday and they're like,
01:12:23
Speaker
I drink a cup of olive oil and smoke a cigarette. That rules so hard. If you could smoke when you're like in the eighties, dude, that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. You deserve to do that. That's when I'll start smoking was in the late seventies and my eighties. That would be rad.
01:12:52
Speaker
Maybe I have to stop up on cigarettes now, so they're still there. They better not take that away, even though I'm done with it. The, you know, the option should exist. Do I smoke butts? Yeah. Yeah, personal freedoms.
01:13:20
Speaker
No, you don't know what's right for you. That's right. Just want to take this one. Make a vaccine against everything. Did make a vaccine against smoking. That's that would rule. You could smoke as much as you want if you take this vaccine. That's all I would rule I would get that vaccine heartbeat. That is awesome.
01:13:50
Speaker
That would be tight. Oh, man. All right, guys, wrap this up. Let's say you're who you're voting for. In what? In the politics race. Oh, Republican primaries. Yeah, I'm not voting in those.
01:14:19
Speaker
You're not voting in the Iowa caucus? No. Didn't that already happen? I think Trump won. Trump did. Yeah, he like won every county except one county. I think he tied with Nikki Haley or like Nikki Haley won by like a vote or something, but it was like.
01:14:37
Speaker
He didn't even go to Iowa. He was like, I was gay. Going to Iowa. And then they were like, they were like, we love you wins wins every county except one. And maybe it was actually every county. But I know I can't I remember.
01:14:58
Speaker
Like at the end of the night, there was like, like one of them was like, Nikki Haley, was it like in the lead and he was in the lead and then Nikki Haley was in the lead. I don't know how it ended. Are you allowed to be the president if you have like a Rico charge against you pending? Um, I think he's got, he's got some stuff going on that like the constitution doesn't like we'd never had to figure out before. Like, what do you do if the president was convicted of rape?
01:15:29
Speaker
Hmm. Like we just never had to like figure that out before. Before they would just ignore that it happened. Well, sure. There's definitely that. Um, so yeah, we'll figure that out. I'm so here's the thing. You guys know, like the October surprise, like quote unquote, there's always like some big story that you drop in October right before the election. Like very curious.
01:15:58
Speaker
what that could be. Like you got to figure there's like some thing of all the shit that's going on with him. There's like something that like the media is waiting to like a story like then it's going to like hit some Epstein shit or some like who the fuck knows this this next fucking this year is going to suck politically speaking fucking suck.
01:16:30
Speaker
I'm going to get addicted to Twitter again. It happens. It happens. It happens every four years. Addicted to Twitter for two months. Hell yeah, bro. I can't help myself. Yeah. All
Closing Thoughts and Community Engagement
01:16:46
Speaker
right, guys. Shout out to Nicky Haley. Yeah. Shout out to Dan Hurley, UConn men's basketball coach. Yes.
01:17:08
Speaker
That's the end of the episode. Rip George Floyd We Miss Your Brother. Everyone on the Reddit shame Paul for falling asleep while listening to fish. Join the Reddit, subscribe to the podcast and review us. Bye.