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We Back
47 Plays9 months ago
- Davis Clarke is gone into famous world
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Transcript
Introductions and Lighthearted Banter
00:00:06
Speaker
Happy National Prayer Day. Stay prayed up. God bless you.
00:00:29
Speaker
You will never stop me, no matter how hard you try, on being a grilled cheese dude. See this? This is grilled cheese, and this is my favorite food. I love grilled cheese, and you will never stop me from liking grilled cheese, okay? Hmm. I've seen with some of the messages that their viewers deliver, you know, whatever he has going on, I can really start to see, I can really start to see their appeal. I'm really starting to get the message, you know. What does everyone else say?
00:01:07
Speaker
Sick and bad guy. Scripted. Over there, it's done. I found something so funny. Arrowhead. Have a drink on the New World Order and just sit back and drink beer and watch football?
Positive Outlook and Humorous Anecdotes
00:01:26
Speaker
That's true. Depressing, man. I choose to think everything's good. Boy, let me tell you, hell would be locked up with a bunch of guys like that.
00:01:37
Speaker
cruising the area until it gets a little closer to 10.30 a.m. but then I want to be back to Essex Center who hit the bank to make a deposit and hit the Mickey D's to get some lunch for myself. One time I ate a banana and I wasn't even hungry. Don't mess with me.
00:02:04
Speaker
I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah. My brother used to break in our house and steal the TV, but now he's dead. My girl is more than better. Okay. Where's she at the big time? Oh, don't tell her. She's an old man.
00:02:37
Speaker
We're back it's yah boys from the block You're one and only favorite podcast dudes are us if we are not your favorite. We will all kill ourselves in your honor We will never be stopped. Please enjoy this one as much as we did. Thank you. Bye hadoken Pretty good
00:02:56
Speaker
Pretty good. Barbecue chicken pizza. Pretty good. I had that over the weekend. Do either of you know why? Is he from England? No, he's from Ohio or something. Yeah. That's why I said like, look at some of the earlier videos. He started the accent really early, but like his first like three or four, it's not really there. Hmm.
00:03:22
Speaker
He's a fraud. He's a phony.
Personal Habits and Social Commentary
00:03:23
Speaker
I know it's, I believe in them. He's just autistic. Yeah. I think, uh, well, I messaged him and I asked him and he didn't respond. Bro. He's from England. Why do you think that's an English accent? Also there's, there's nothing to me that that sounds English. I tell big dog. I love him every day. He never hits me back. It's a comment.
00:03:46
Speaker
Paul, you just see my comments randomly on these guys' videos. I like them. Every single time I see one, I hit the like on it. Gots to.
00:04:08
Speaker
Oh man. Yeah. I got that, um, that artist again. Like I said to you guys last night, guy was frazzled. It's like, I think people just come in here sometimes with a different conversation that they're started by themselves. I don't understand this dude. You're paying for eight hours. You fucking loser. Who cares if you're Tom who rides a bike, dude, get over yourself.
00:04:38
Speaker
I mean, that's the thing is like, Hey man, it's not that serious. Yeah. Keep painting bitch. You fucking idiot. Oh man. You know what college I wish I could have gone to Georgia tech.
00:05:03
Speaker
Why? Just because it's a cool name. Georgia Tech. Georgia Tech is a cool name. Better than Virginia Tech, I'll tell you that. Probably not. Oh, there was so much when I was in Roanoke, there was so much VTech stuff at the thrift stores and or the, you know,
00:05:24
Speaker
Um, I almost bought something, but then I was like, this isn't, this is only funny to me. Dude, you rock that. Rock that shit with a Korean war hat on. Well, in my head, this is bad. In my head, I was like, Oh, I could like, um, I could like tie dye this or like, you know, do like a splatter paint tie dye. Um,
00:05:53
Speaker
But then I was just like, no, that's that's only funny to me. That is probably. Yeah, you're exactly right about that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um.
00:06:23
Speaker
Yeah. So why does why does Lincoln talk with an English accent? That's a good. Yeah. Bring it back to that, dude. It's just because he's awkward. There's another autistic guy on season two of Love on the Spectrum. He talks with the English accent. Everybody on Instagram is like, why do you talk with an English accent? He's like, fuck off. This is just how I talk. He said he went to England once and then he couldn't stop talking like English accent.
00:06:51
Speaker
I mean, there's also like, yeah, that's definitely like, uh, what's that guy's name? Austin Butler still talks like Elvis. Who the fuck's that? The guy who played Elvis. Oh, really? I mean, there is, that is a thing. I mean, you know, like, what would you call it with like autistic and even like some ADHD people where you're like, Oh, I, uh,
00:07:18
Speaker
You just like absorb people's accents and stuff. I'm a main cabin master this week. That's a top tier show, Paul. I know you enjoy that. That show rocks. I got to, I got to watch that. I'd trust those guys to rebuild anything. There's a hard looking guys there. I have to look it up again.
00:07:47
Speaker
Because all of their like renovation budgets are such bullshit. Yeah, I don't understand that, dude. They do redo a whole rebuild a whole fucking house. It's like, oh, my budget's $18,000. Bro, it's insane. We just got our roof redone and it was like $22,000, $23,000 total to get the roof. Yeah. I was watching main cabin masters the other day.
00:08:11
Speaker
Yeah, I want a new roof, a new septic system, another fucking, I want a- Yeah. Yeah. Oh, could you take the roof off and put it up two levels? Yeah. Can you build a second level on this? And then I go, okay, that's cool. What's your budget? And they're like, $20,000. And the guy's like, yeah, we'll get that done. Yeah, no problem, Mark. Eight weeks. Yeah, eight weeks. Labor is completely free. We're gonna do it in the snow.
00:08:36
Speaker
They're like, yeah, we saved some money because I had two windows, uh, from some other project. So we saved $24,000 out of that. It's like pin my ride. Yeah. What's yeah. Look into that. Cause I need some clarification on that. Cause I'm like motherfucker, dude, this is crazy. I think that when I did look it up and said that the people, the quotes that they're giving are just for, um, materials, not for labor.
00:09:04
Speaker
for free. Damn. Yeah. Cause they get, what do they just get paid by the show? I'm sure. But why can't I be on the show, man? I got an old house, dude, not in Maine. Should I just write into them and be like, I want you guys to do my house for free. You could, you could, uh, I think they still do this old house. You could get on this old house. Yeah. This old house would be perfect for your place.
00:09:35
Speaker
They would love that shit. They actually would love that shit. Wow. They would love to restore. Today we're going to be restoring the World War Two era bunker in the back. It's currently flooded and filled with frogs, but.
00:09:52
Speaker
So probably see you got a swimming pool in your basement here whenever Yeah divert the wetland so that water isn't flowing underground through your house
00:10:14
Speaker
Dude, they literally had made, they had the whole house like six feet in the air and they're like, oh, okay, okay. $15,000. No problem. Here's six bedrooms. The fuck? We got to get everything by here by boat. There's one there like, yeah, we're bringing out, they go, this is a, this is $2,000 a day. What the fuck?
00:10:38
Speaker
That's the one where they're up on the Indian tribal tribal land, right? I think so. They're like, yeah, we had to go row in here. It's crazy, dude. Is Maine like what is Maine
Exploring Maine's Wilderness
00:10:52
Speaker
like? Is it just like I thought of it as like an ocean land like hick or whatever, right? I mean, once you're out of like Portland, Portland. Yeah, once you go like an hour north,
00:11:05
Speaker
of Portland. Yeah, you like might as well be in the south. I mean, they have a they have a school vacation like very north main where like the potato industry is like the biggest piece of the economy where there's a school vacation. That's that's for potato harvesting season. So like
00:11:28
Speaker
So that like the farm families can have their kids free to to help harvest potatoes. If you go far enough north to they stop naming the towns and I just. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're just like. Know what a town rated 2018. Yeah. What? Yeah, it's just it's just like, I don't know. It's like weird frontier kind of because like who would know who would want to live in. I mean, it's also weird to be like you can
00:11:54
Speaker
You can drive seven hours north of Boston and still and still be in Maine. What the fuck? Maine's pretty big. Is everybody a hiccup there? Hmm, probably. I mean, way up there. Yeah. Well, I thought it took forever.
00:12:16
Speaker
I felt like forever to get up there. Cause like, uh, it's crazy, dude. I mean, it's a nice area. You're basically in like Canada, right? Or no. Is it like Canada? It seems like it just bears and fucking cold shit all over the place. Moose, mooses, moose. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. It's like, uh, you know, it's like the North and gaming drones. What is this place?
00:12:47
Speaker
I remember where it was when I was like a kid, we went to a wedding in northern Maine and I remember it taking us not. It didn't actually. But like to me as a kid, feeling like it took as long as like driving to Virginia. And it was like, yeah, it was just like being in the middle of nowhere. Like caribou, what the fuck is caribou?
00:13:20
Speaker
I don't think anyone goes north of Bangor all that often. What's the most north tip of Maine? Like the like the northest town in Maine? Yeah, probably one.
00:13:47
Speaker
This looks like it's called. How do you even read that? Oh, this might be in Canada. That's why I can't read it. Oh, wow. Is this real? The Titan sub fucking audio has been released.
Mysteries and Conspiracies
00:13:58
Speaker
Yeah, I was like, should I listen to that right now? It's just like someone knocking. Say knocking noise. Sure. Oh, it's a knocking noise exploding. Yeah. I think this is in Canada, actually, but it looks like there's a town called Pawn.
00:14:18
Speaker
Oh, and a gamut. That's like very north for Kent, St. Agatha. Limestone, I don't know. Well, it's like raving a rhythmic banging. OK. Like, does it is it a person? Or is it like, is it? Like a machine breaking? Oh, I don't know, dude.
00:14:48
Speaker
Is that still just a mystery? I mean, they found the wreckage of it, right? Yeah, yeah, they pulled that shit out of the water. Well, I guess like what happened. Yeah, I need to know what happened. I mean, a submarine that wasn't rated to be at that depth and had no self propelling systems on it. I don't know.
00:15:15
Speaker
Went to that depth. They fucked up. But I mean, that plane that disappeared, they still haven't found that one's a little more interesting. But we're just kind of like, yeah, all right, fine. The plane, no plane. Like, yep, those people died. Sucks for them. Oh, well. And we can't we can't find it. So weird.
00:15:45
Speaker
Fucking world that has satellites flying around that can see fucking your asshole through your fucking mirror. I mean, that is pretty, that is pretty weird when you think about it. Like we can't possibly find this airplane. It's under a big tree. It's in China. We also can't see where it crash landed into this dense forest. I'm not buying that dude. I'm not buying that one bit.
00:16:17
Speaker
not buying that it, uh, they found the passports from the guys who flew the airplanes until nine 11. That's when towers fucking airplanes, giant crash stripe. That's hilarious. They're just like fucking try to get rid of the passports. Like they do with like bad burials of people. Put it under these leaves over here. Let's put these fucking guys passports over here.
00:16:46
Speaker
We were so dumb back then. I mean, that shit doesn't make sense at all. Everyone was. Everyone was like, Oh, oh.
00:16:57
Speaker
Well, they're Saudi Arabian because of these passports that were found just like like we already talked about this, I think. But in the way that you would like make a like for a school project, you would make a letter look like it was written during the civil war. You'd like tea dip and like put a put a lighter to the edges. It was like like singe the edges of the passport just enough, but like not so that it was the legible. And you're like,
00:17:23
Speaker
Really this was like in his pocket and his entire body was incinerated and this passport just got a little like Too good. Well, we were so dumb though. Everyone was like everyone was like, oh, okay closure Oh
00:17:47
Speaker
Now we'll never know. That's what I do for stuff at work, even though it's virtual, just scan pieces of paper into a PowerPoint, pictures of old pieces of paper with what I need to present on it. Oh, I've been working on this for so long. As you can see, how old the corners of this PowerPoint are.
00:18:14
Speaker
This has been copies of this have been photocopied over and over many times how old it is so hard on this Go off King. How about the green lasers in the in the fucking thunderstorms?
00:18:42
Speaker
I need some help understanding how to break that down to us. I don't know. I don't know it at all. All I've seen is the video of the thunderstorm. Then there's a like a laser, but obviously what are they saying about it? Easy to fake that it's a laser, but that's what started the forest fire in Texas. I thought they were saying that
00:19:12
Speaker
the lasers are used to as like a lightning rod, not to like cause the storm, but to like, you can make the laser, you can use the laser to make sure the lightning strikes where you want it to. I guess that's, that's a double-edged sword, right? You could be like, yeah, it's a lightning rod. You put it here so that it doesn't, so that it strikes this safe for lightning to strike place, but then you could also argue that like,
00:19:43
Speaker
Oh, you have control over where lightning strikes. Ah, that's genius. What? I think it's the aliens. They're just beating the shit out of lightning with these fucking lasers. Oh, yeah. Take that lightning. That's all what I've read on here so far. I still believe the harp was like causing it caused the earthquakes in a
00:20:12
Speaker
in uh Where was that? Haiti? Haiti.
Haitian Prison Break and Gang Control
00:20:21
Speaker
Did you just see there was a giant prison break in Haiti? Um no. That was big news like yesterday. Two days ago. Put us on dude. Oh man. Well Haiti's like uh Haiti's like
00:20:40
Speaker
So gangs in Haiti try to seize control of Maine Airport as thousands escape prisons. Damn, they're all the way in Maine. That's the first place they picked. I mean, yeah, that's crazy. It's crazy to go from like they had really bad earthquakes. Then they had the entire world
00:21:11
Speaker
uh, giving like humanitarian relief. Then you have everyone, then you have like the realization that like the red cross and doctors that borders and all of them probably by and large do nothing. Like whatever millions of dollars they get for things, they find a way to make most of that money go away and paying people who work for the organization.
00:21:38
Speaker
And so then you had like Haiti basically be entire economy become reliant on donations and then either no more donations or like fraud. And now it's like a failed state run by. I mean, we're we're like gangs can take over an airport and prisons. That's fucking crazy. That's like the that's like a big fucking global failure.
00:22:07
Speaker
Yeah, that's fucked. Thirty five hundred prisoners have escaped the national penitentiary. That's also crazy. I mean, I, you know, that's just crazy that there's that many people in prison, but that's fucking nuts. That's like Port-au-Prince is like having the purge right now.
00:22:37
Speaker
Dude, what do you do? They have, if they have control of an airport, they can just like hijack, they can just not even hijack planes. They just have planes. Oh yeah. That's wild. Just let it happen. What the fuck? What are you going to do? What can you actually do? Get into a war with them. That's about it. January 6th taught me that like actually like a thousand people
00:23:05
Speaker
who like really want to do something probably can. There's not really any way to stop anyone. They just like didn't quite have a plan. They didn't have enough of a plan.
00:23:28
Speaker
Uh, probably an unpopular conversation, but I was on, uh, go on Reddit. Yeah, you got something. Maybe it was, um, Twitter, but it was like these people rallying for Ashley Babbitt. That's the girl who got shot on January 6th. Okay. And they're like, she did nothing wrong. It was, I mean, she definitely did something wrong. It was a bad shot. They should never have shot her. Oh Jesus.
00:23:57
Speaker
I'm like fucking security guard standing on the other side of the door. Secret service member standing on the other side of the door with a gun pointed at her. He's like, don't screaming. Or I'm literally screaming. If you come through the window, I'll shoot you. And she's like, this is our house. We like you work for us. I probably wasn't what she was saying. But, you know, go through like that when the guy says, when the guy's pointing a gun at you and says, come through the window and I'll shoot you and you come through the window.
00:24:25
Speaker
Can't really be like, well, I didn't think he was going to shoot me. I can't really fault him. Oh, he took it too far. I mean, and it's one thing if it were like at a, you know, like at at Kroger's or something. But yeah, if the security guard at Kroger shot you for like trying to break in, I'd be like, it's a fucking grocery store. This is like the nation's capital where, you know, Congress was in session. That's kind of their job to protect those people.
00:24:55
Speaker
Maybe don't like, like how am I even getting served this up anyways? The fuck? What did I do? I somehow, I somehow, yeah, somehow liked something this week and I don't, I can't figure out what it is, but I liked something this week that the algorithm now decided I'm like a hard libertarian. Nice.
00:25:17
Speaker
I've been getting like the I've been getting fed reels all like the thing I sent you about like raising chickens and maybe it was that maybe because I shared that but all week now it's been a it's been like when you realize that you can't trust your government and it's just like some guy like like hit like putting his shotgun on a gun rack on his truck and I'm like fuck how did I get here?
00:25:51
Speaker
I like that one about the chickens. I mean, that's that felt harmless and funny. That was like, oh, buying, you know, buying chicks may lead to like home gardening and using herbs as medicine and not trusting your government and conspiracy theories. I was like, that's funny. Somehow that or either that was the beginning of something I already liked or that led me to now like literally just like libertarians of Instagram.
00:26:22
Speaker
So I'll let you know how deep this rabbit hole goes. That's one of the other things I get fed on X is libs of TikTok, which is just like the most right wing woman. I mean, every, every rabbit hole in on it on X leads to something ultra conservative. There is no other path ultimately.
00:26:47
Speaker
I can't even look at it anymore. I'm like, what is this bullshit? I don't care. The other thing, I mean, yeah, there's like layers of it that fucking suck now. Uh, anytime you, you used to actually be able to have a conversation in a thread and now it's just thread. It's just 800 irrelevant comments. Like other people commenting stuff.
00:27:12
Speaker
Unrelated, yeah, unrelated stuff for like a signal boost and you're like, all right, this this is this is this is everybody like this would be like a crowded airport terminal where everyone's just holding up a sign that says something and no one's reading anyone else's sign. You're just like, what is it? What is it? What the fuck is this? Yeah, it's garbage now.
00:27:39
Speaker
So I'm just like, how am I getting fed this thing? I like the the attack one is fucking terrible. So God like your most unhinged and
00:27:56
Speaker
It's like the fucking trans person who just got beat to death in parentheses the other day. Look at this. This is a video of them still at the school. They don't really look like they got beat up. They don't look beat up to me. Look fine to me. Look at them walking. They're all fine. Fucking fine. They don't have an unknown brain bleed or whatever the fuck happened.
00:28:23
Speaker
Then it's just crazy too, because I feel like these people just sit around all day and they're like, fucking trans people just piss me off. How bored are you that that's the only thing you can think about all day, live in their head all day, which is hilarious.
00:28:41
Speaker
It's like I hate these people so much, but it's all I can think about.
Social Issues and Generational Critiques
00:28:45
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, I just I just want to I hate him so much. I just want to kiss him. I mean, it's insane to me that somebody fucking wasted time on that shit all day there on Twitter, just like. Oh, did you see this fucking liberal teacher? Maybe the gay BCS in school. Oh, my God, that is pretty funny. It's like four other guys I did.
00:29:10
Speaker
I love the local town, Facebook groups. I a hundred percent support those. I'm in a lot of them. Oh, those are great. Cause you, I don't have it. I mean, when I moved back from Vegas, my brother was like, I moved to the same town as my brother was in. And he was like, you have to get on next door. Oh God, those are the worst. I was on next door for like, yeah, for like a year. And then I was like, this isn't sufferable. But yeah, it's just like,
00:29:39
Speaker
Oh, every fucking like I saw an orange cat. Does it? Did anyone lose their cat? And then somebody replies like. Like that. You're a fucking piece of shit and you should kill your cat out. Here's a picture of you fucking being a bitch. Do you know how many fucking wild animals cats kill because you assholes leave them outside? We're losing somewhere losing our native bird species because of cats. People like who?
00:30:05
Speaker
There was one, yeah, there was one like that that was like some, some mom was like, or maybe it was even the kid, but it was like somebody who was like, Hey, I'm, my son's doing a leaf raking business. Like, please reach out if you need your yard raked.
00:30:23
Speaker
for $10, like very nice, innocent, like thing that lots of kids do. And that I remember when I was a kid anyway, it's like, Oh, Mo, your lawn, I'll break your leaves, whatever. And there was like, there was like 10 replies and a half of them were like, sad state of affairs that, uh, 10, that we need to result to child labor to clean our lawns. And so be like, I can't believe you would let your kid just like wander around the town unsupervised and just like, Oh, and I'm like,
00:30:52
Speaker
All of you people are horrible. Oh, yeah. I love it. I think it's so funny. Sitting at home, like glued to glue to like Facebook and I guess next door and just like and just like looking for reasons to be angry at everything. God damn it. Juicy that fucking Billy down the streets parked illegally. I want to post about it on this.
00:31:18
Speaker
fuck that bill. Fuck your kid trying to steal our jobs of mowing and lawn. What do you do? It's terrifying. And it's just like 1000 posts of people being like nobody wants to work anymore.
00:31:36
Speaker
Yeah, dude, I remember I remember when a fucking Foxborough used to be a good, good town. Oh, God, I don't want to work anymore. Yeah, bitter, bitter, like 70 year olds who bought their house and car for like 17 raisins. So angry. Yeah, literally, dude, that's so fucking funny. It's so true, though. None of what none of that is like overexaggerated.
00:32:06
Speaker
I mean, my dad was like that. And I'm like, dad, you got the house I grew up in. Your dad gave you as a wedding present. Like it was that insignificant of an asset to my grandfather that he was like, Oh, this $16,000 house. Why don't you just have it for free? Yeah, my mortgage. And then you sold that house in 2000.
00:32:35
Speaker
uh whatever 2006 for like for almost like two million dollars you did fine and you didn't do any work for it made so fucking that dude rich rich fucking old people now low-key rich people it's crazy like oh yeah i just bought a bunch of uh stocks that were nothing in my oh god $80 when i bought it yeah
00:33:05
Speaker
It's got a bunch of Nvidia in the early 90s. Yeah, and Apple and fucking everything else. Jared, you like all the videos I send that are in my algorithm now of just J's on you. I get a million of those too. I know that it's a bit and so reacting to the bit makes it...
00:33:32
Speaker
You know, it's only going to make it worse, but I, they're always J's and you're not the only one who sends them to me. I send them to them privately. You owe me so many ice creams and fucking everything, dude. You don't even know what a sushi the other day. That's an expensive one. Yeah. You don't even eat sushi. Dude, I stop getting it for free. I don't care. I'll throw it out.
00:34:05
Speaker
You owe me, dude. That's, that's all that matters. Yeah, dude. Somebody, whoever, whoever started that format really kind of sing to poor people.
00:34:18
Speaker
Um, here we go. Here's a classic Facebook comment. Using diesel machinery to install a solar field. Shake my head. The hypocrisy of the green movement. Another huge field is being put in Enfield across from the prison. Oh my God. That dude's just on here arguing with nobody. Damn, dude. That's so sad.
00:34:42
Speaker
It's actually really funny because one of the dudes who come on here and trolls all the time is this Kid I was friends with in high school's father and when they were knocking down the old school and my hometown and putting up the new one it was like a so obviously tax incentivized project and he's like He's showing up at all the public forum meetings and everything. He's like, I don't even understand why we're doing this shit It's a big waste of money. We got this beautiful building
00:35:12
Speaker
You're gonna knock it down. If the kids are cold, they can just wear coats in the winter.
00:35:17
Speaker
Ah, classic. We work coach. He was the predecessor to the nobody wants to work anymore movement. I've watched all of the new season of Dirty Jobs and when he goes to all the sites, that's what the people working the Dirty Jobs say. No one wants to work anymore. You know, Mike Rowe, no one wants to work anymore. Every fucking episode. Yeah, I have to hear from fucking people in the industry all the time.
00:35:45
Speaker
Is that all you've been hearing the past two days? Yes. Nobody wants to work anymore. Like, no, nobody wants to work a fucking bullshit job for $14 an hour and have to weed whack and poison ivy and get poison ivy three times a summer. Exactly, dude. You can legitimately make like $18 an hour deleting spam comments from Yelp.
00:36:12
Speaker
Exactly. So what is your value proposition for me to go get poison ivy or do you know what I mean? It's just like It's crazy Fucking nobody wants to work You don't hear the people at Duncan saying that I'll tell you that they're putting on yeah, they're fucking doing justice for everybody. I
00:36:40
Speaker
Oh my God, the woman in front of me and that was the other part of my Dunkin' experience. Not only the terrible food, but obviously get there. There's a woman in front of me in line who starts the interaction with what kinds of, or she starts the conversation with what are your culada flavors now? Oh man. She's like, what are you fucking doing? No one orders that.
00:37:09
Speaker
And then we got like blueberry. Legitimately that was, it was like, they were like so annoyed. She was like, uh, I think we've got, I think it's like fruit punch and blueberry right now. And she was like, Oh no, no, no. I needed to be something coffee. You don't have a coffee one. And he's just like, no, no coffee, which, which obviously they do. They can put coffee and ice together. But she was like, do not, we're not doing this today. It's like nine AM on a, on a Monday. No.
00:37:39
Speaker
Uh, then she goes, okay. What do you, what are, what are your, what are your flavors you can put in coffee? What, what, which ones do you have that, that are, that are not flavored? And then the woman's like, just reads the list that's up there and it's like, uh, French vanilla, blueberry, like caramel, hazelnut.
00:38:03
Speaker
Um, and she's like, Oh yeah. Or whatever it was, it was, there was something like toasted almond or something. She's like, Oh, it's that. Yeah. That's the one I want. And then, uh, I don't even fucking remember. There was like eight other dumb fuck things. No. And then she kept saying she was sorry. She would ask an annoying question and then be like, and then be like, Oh, I'm sorry. You'd be like, don't you like, like come in here knowing what you want or
00:38:30
Speaker
Get out of here with that weak shit. Yeah, it's not like not. You're just like you're not fixing anything by apologizing every time you're like being a fucking idiot. So to own it or or like be better. But being like, I'm sorry, I can tell I'm being annoying. I'm sorry. Like, what is that accomplishing? Forgive me, sir. So then she then she did that thing that
00:39:00
Speaker
We're like, then we, I've ordered and her stuff hasn't come out yet. And the person who was in front of hers stuff hasn't come out yet. So there's like three of us waiting by the pickup area. She looks back at us and like starts like talking like, like, yeah, so it's like, uh, Monday, huh? You're like, like, we're not friends because we're all standing waiting to pick up our dunk and like that. We have not been united by this common fate. Like I don't want to be your friend. I don't want to talk to you.
00:39:30
Speaker
I mastered that skill, riding the tee. Like this is a, I probably shouldn't tell a story, but there was a special needs dude who would sit at the tee every morning with me and just talk insane shit into my ear. Just like, like zeroed in on me and just always wanted to come over and talk to me every morning. And I would just have my, I'd have my headphones on and I'm not on. And I would just point at my ears and go, I can't hear you.
00:39:56
Speaker
And then he would stop. And then the next morning we would redo the same over and over and over again, every day, just like.
00:40:06
Speaker
Yeah. Train tracks. T is cool, huh? Like I, yeah, man. I don't want to talk. It's fine. It's fucking five 30 in the morning. I'm going to my shitty job. He put like a retarded wizard spell on, you know, you just have all of them talk to you. Not everybody in the world wants to talk to you. You know, it's fucking annoying. He gave you talk to me eyes.
00:40:26
Speaker
Yeah. Who's that? Let me go. Let me go tell him how door dash sucks. No one wants to tip anymore. Jared. Yeah. What was how? What was your thoughts of Austin? Also, you're both one. So for me, I got in Wednesday morning. extravagant airport.
00:40:56
Speaker
Nice airport. I thought I stayed at like a, like a hotel at the airport that no one was in. It was pretty, pretty depressing. That's nice. I stayed at the hotel indigo. Wow. Okay. Cool. Um, it was in a, it was in a cool area, but then there was like, Austin's got a lot of, of like, they're not bars. They're like.
00:41:21
Speaker
a parking lot that somebody set up a whole bunch of little like food trucks and like mobile bars in and then they just people just gather there and it's like an outdoor drinking park like a dog park for adult for drunk adults. And there was one of those directly across the street from like I could look down on it from my window and it was like going until three a.m. It was so fucking loud.
00:41:51
Speaker
So that wasn't great, but, uh, yeah, Austin was cool. I've never been before. I did land then, uh, spent like an hour in Austin then drove to San Antonio. So I didn't, and then the next day was only there for the morning. So didn't see like everything all Austin had to offer, but I thought it was,
00:42:19
Speaker
for a brief, you know, less than 48 hour trip. It was, it was pretty cool, I guess. You know, it was a weird thing. It was, uh, it was a very, it's a very hit place. And for some reason I was like, maybe not cause it was hip, but I was, uh, bombed out. Cause I was like, I don't, I don't, I don't like this place too much. It's kind of weird. It's trying really hard.
00:42:45
Speaker
Yeah. And the people there are trying. So it's still kind of still like kind of shitty on where I was at part of all. I was like, yes, what is going on over here? There was definitely parts there where you're like, this is like this isn't the hood because it's not a city, but this is this looks like. Like this, this is a dump. Yeah, it was fucking weird, dude. But I've got like three friends ish.
00:43:16
Speaker
that live in Austin that I'm not like one that like I used to work with at Urban and another one that.
Cultural Observations and Humor
00:43:26
Speaker
Well, like mutual friends like of roommates when I was in college and like stuff like that's like not close people haven't talked to in years, but we follow each other on Instagram and I posted a story in Austin and all three of those people replied to it being like, oh, you're at that bar. You should go to this bar. I was like, you.
00:43:45
Speaker
are like the embodiment of Austin, which is just like trying very hard to be cool and like not quite nailing it. My best friend from forever, from growing up, he lives in Austin. He's lived there for like six years. He's like a tech bro. Hell yeah. RIP. He's living his best life, working for TikTok.
00:44:09
Speaker
Um, but yeah, I mean I, you know, again, I'll go, I'll go back at some point and maybe spend a little more time there. I didn't hate it, but I also just, uh, see a lot disc golf or anything. You didn't go and play disc golf or anything. No, literally like business. And then got dinner at a actually pretty cool Mexican restaurant. You didn't go to Terry blacks.
00:44:36
Speaker
Couldn't convince anyone else. Ah, dude, that's some spot, dude. That was the best barbecue I've had. We went to a... That's why travel by yourself is kind of nice. Yeah, exactly. We went to a lunch place called Phoebe's that was meh. I got a fried chicken sandwich. Better or worse than the sandwich factory in Waimama? I mean, dude, the sandwich factory is...
00:45:03
Speaker
No bad. Unbelievable. One of the worst. I don't know. You want steak and cheese and is it like a fucking hot dog bun? No. Yes. There's a different, there's a sandwich place in Tampa near where our office is that is called
00:45:29
Speaker
poppies and their Italian sub has mustard on it by default. And I like chalk that up to just like Cuban people don't know how to make. Now they have no idea. Like an Italian sub or like most other kinds of like classic American food. And so my only guess for that area and the sandwich factory is that like it is run by. Respectfully like Cuban people.
00:45:58
Speaker
Yeah, like Cuban immigrants or Mexican immigrants who who thought that that was like the right niche to get into but have no idea what like like culturally there aren't sandwiches in Mexico or and you know what I mean? Like there's like tortoise and maybe that's the closest you can get. So they're just like, I don't know. You put a bunch of black olives on it. I think they eat black olives like white folks like those.
00:46:23
Speaker
I love black olives don't speak ill of them. I mean, clearly they have you pegged. So, uh, yeah, we got, uh, we got, we went to Phoebe's for lunch. Big take. I'll interrupt with besides the airport. I would put Pittsburgh above Austin. Oh, I disagree. But that seems like an insane statement, but I'm more susceptible to the hipsterness of
00:46:52
Speaker
It was more the layout into the city, so I can't judge the city, but. So the layout reminded me the layout reminded me of Vegas in that there's like a downtown. And then it's like a checkerboard of things that are part of a city and then like. Not the ghetto, but just like
00:47:21
Speaker
why is there just like a like literally decomposing industrial park or just like a big empty lot full of like where you're just like, it's like a disk. It's a big city that's like got a bunch of, you know, a downtown, a bunch of different areas around the downtown, but then just like not connected in a logical way. It's 9,000 million billion dollars to buy that place and redo it. Yeah. How many Dunkin Donuts did you see?
00:47:52
Speaker
So don't recall seeing that. There was, uh, did you go to Bucky's? I drove by the Bucky's. I didn't, I, again, I was like, if I were, if I were, cause we literally drove the drive from Austin to San Antonio, you pass a Bucky's. You can see it from the highway. I was like, should we, should we get breakfast at Buck Bucky's? And it was like, Oh no. Right. Of course not.
00:48:22
Speaker
How dare we be fun? Yeah. Who are these people? But again, I'll, I'll go back. I'll do, I'll do Austin slash San Antonio slash Plano my own way. Stiffs dude.
00:48:45
Speaker
I didn't make them get raising canes for lunch the second day. So good. Good. I fucking love canes. My boss said, this is good. My boss said, uh, so I was talking it up a little bit. Um, and we needed a quick launch and then, so we get it. And afterwards he's like, not gonna lie. I think I like Chick-fil-A better. All right, bro. You failed the test.
00:49:17
Speaker
Why does that even need to be said? And it's so false, dude. Yeah, it's extremely false. I mean, when we went to Duke's, that was the worst restaurant I've ever been to in my life. And I didn't say that to Shane. Exactly. That's just unnecessary.
00:49:37
Speaker
You don't need to do that to somebody. And it's not true, though. It's such a bad thing. Yeah, no, I wasn't like, oh, he doesn't I wasn't like, oh, he doesn't like the restaurant that I recommended. Like when he said that I was like, oh, wow, you just have wrong opinions. Yeah, like you you don't like the cane sauce. Come on, bro. You don't like the piece of the fucking piece of bread you get. Dude, that's always this like, oh, and I got this. You get this giant piece of like delicious bread. Yeah, Texas toast, basically.
00:50:06
Speaker
Um, that's, that's wack. We should beat them up. That's bullshit. That's somebody just had trying to have a different opinion. Oh, I like chick-fil-a better. Cause they have the fucking, uh, grilled chicken nuggets that are the worst in the fucking world. Fuck you, dude.
00:50:33
Speaker
Uh, it was funny when we were like, we were in the, we were in the drive-thru line. One, I was like, I'm not lying, bro. Um, do they have waffle fries? I'm just thinking about how funny it would have been if Jared was like, Oh, you like Chick-fil-A better? Fuck you, dude. I would have been bummed out about it.
00:50:57
Speaker
He uh, so we were in the drive through line and he was like, so what um, like, what's the, what's the musket item here? And I was like, dude, they do one thing and they do it right. There are three menu items. It's three chicken nuggets, five chicken nuggets, or three chicken nuggets in a hamburger bun. Those are your options tenders. Yeah, that's what I meant in tenders. Sorry.
00:51:23
Speaker
uh and he was like oh really and i was like yeah dude what did you think we were in for yeah i'll have i'll have soup i'll have the beer chowder i'll have you what kind of culottas are here shut the fuck up dude i want to go back to that real quick so by the end of that woman talking to you did you just accept your
00:51:50
Speaker
Not, I, so I, so context, I was in a, I was in a suit cause I had, I was on, I was going back to work from a funeral. So I also was very in, uh, I was in that mindset where I'm like, I'm okay. Just being a full asshole right now. And she like, you know, smiled and then started a conversation. I just did not say anything back. Just dead. I, I'm not engaging right now.
00:52:23
Speaker
It was great. Got a cool lot as you guys have here. Was everybody else high on, I can't think of Canes. I keep getting confused with PDQ down here. I was just, I did say that when I was like going over the best
00:52:48
Speaker
places to get fast food, fried chicken. You baby. 82 is not a bad option at all. Um, so it's just me, my boss, and, and, uh, one of the other people on my team who also who's from Miami also had never had canes and didn't, didn't share an opinion one way or the other.
00:53:14
Speaker
But did pass the live check on getting McRiddles for breakfast one day. Oh, really? So I was like, all right, you're... Did you know this person? No, I haven't. I hadn't met her before that trip. I think I...
00:53:30
Speaker
met her yesterday yesterday. Oh, yeah, it was everybody on your team besides you and I fucking walked out of where I'm at. Not expect they're all just standing outside the door and I walked through and had to it was like a introduction.
00:53:46
Speaker
Yeah, fuck this dude. I told you I was like I I could never a million years walk out of here and expect to see this group here standing here and I have to fucking stop and walk through all of you So fucking damn it. Why can't I just shoot myself right now? Yeah, that's how I know I'm getting fired Let me just put a buzz saw through my fucking head
00:54:12
Speaker
So I just have a team trip to Florida that they don't invite me to. Oh, let's introduce you to these two new people. Okay. I don't know. What the fuck? You should have just said, where's Jared? Where is he? The fuck is this shit? Where's my, where's my homie? Dude, I was like looking around for him. I was like, wait a minute. This is not. All right. Definitely no engagement here. Yeah.
00:54:39
Speaker
Yeah, okay, whatever. I'm actually working here, guys, so please, please leave. This was supposed to be me walking down the hallway looking at the floor, not expecting to see people type things. If you're not busy, do you think you could show them some of the rooms? They didn't even get that out of it.
00:55:06
Speaker
It's like, hey, what's up? Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Great to meet you. Okay. Cool. Bye. Ah, cool. Oh, real fucking funny. Yeah, cool. There's been a I should have just been a standout asshole. Oh, cool. Yeah, whatever. Oh, what do you guys do? Oh, yeah, that sucks. All right. I'm out of here. I'll see you later. Oh, great. Cool. Yeah, whatever.
00:55:33
Speaker
You know, bad time to be here, guys. I was fucking expecting that be in peace right now. Where's Jared? Just make it super uncomfortable for them. Yeah. So you guys can't really be in here.
00:55:57
Speaker
Jared's got a level five clearance. Unless you would Jared, I'm not really going to ever ask if you want to see anything, so I'm not going to ever extend that. I don't see him here, so I'm going to go.
00:56:20
Speaker
Yeah. Maybe it was because of the canes thing, Jared. Maybe like, yeah. You're really upset when we said it wasn't that good. Yeah, right. In fairness, I am there all the time. And and most of them never get to see that. Oh, you guys fucking suck. Yeah, exactly. Fuck you guys.
00:56:49
Speaker
Oh, why? You don't like chicken tenders? Fuck you, dude. Fuck you, dude. Whatever. Come over here with that weak shit saying, fucking Chick-fil-A is better than this place. Oh, you don't like, uh, you don't like Rhode Island? Fuck you, man. That's what would have been me on that tip. Fuck all you guys.
00:57:12
Speaker
Bro, it took my own way back to Austin. It took me an hour to get to Providence today. Holy shit. How did it take you an hour? From where you're at? I think it's nearly 45 minutes from over there to Providence. It's 20, 26 minutes from my house. Oh, really? Holy shit. That's what I was about to say. It should be like under a half hour. It was insanity. That sucks. What happened?
00:57:41
Speaker
Oh, it's because the Washington Bridge is closed probably. Yeah, there's the construction down there and there was a car accident. No, they're not doing it, buddy. They had to, the bridge was falling apart and they like covered it up. And now they had to redo it. But they're doing a bunch of construction on like 95 too. And that's what I was on.
00:58:04
Speaker
Well, there's only one way now to get in and out. If you're coming from a mass area, then there used to be at least two ways. So all the people that need to would go the other way usually are now on like 95.
00:58:20
Speaker
beautiful city, you know, what a shithole, dude, nice and gray. Most people with fucking hazard cones around them. I do. Everybody's like, Oh, I love province. I'm like, Yeah, no, you don't. Like you do. Don't say you love the fucking it's a it's a shitty fucking place.
00:58:42
Speaker
It's like a nicer monster Springfield. I'd say a little slightly nicer than Worcester just probably because it's smaller. Mm hmm. Definitely nicer than Worcester. Well, yeah, I don't know. It's funny. Oh, I love I love walking around there after the bars. I'm like, why would you do that?
00:59:06
Speaker
Yeah, I saw some funny things. I saw a homeless dude scratching his ass just digging. Oh my god. He's walking around bro. It was like kind of warm the past couple days, but it was like gray and rainy. This dude's in slides with no socks, a t shirt, sweatpants, just digging fully on digging in his ass walking down the street. Like what in the fuck is going on right now?
00:59:37
Speaker
Just reminds me of Springfield a lot. Yeah. A couple of my friends lived in Providence over by Brown. That's the college, right? Oh, yeah. Yep. One of the many. And, uh. One of the three. They lived in like a small area. That was pretty cool. Yeah, dude. It's crazy. People, uh, pay so much money to live in Providence to go to those colleges.
01:00:10
Speaker
It's like, it's just, I don't know, man. That's crazy. Now it's getting the same thing, hipsterized, but it's still keeping its very scumbag-esque. Are you going back here tomorrow, Paul? Nah, we're done.
01:00:24
Speaker
Uh, nice. I'm bummed. I was trying to convince my two coworkers that they should stick around and we should get our boss to take us over to federal Hill, but Oh, dude. Stick around or get some wieners, dude, crush some fucking dogs after, dude, be top notch. It's because they were hungover.
01:00:44
Speaker
from, uh, from yesterday's convention. Oh, we went out after Nalia's trivia. Okay. Yeah. We went out and had dinner and shit. And they were really tying one on no fish filet after no man. Does it taste like fish? Yeah. It's like a big, it's like a big fish stick.
01:01:10
Speaker
What's on it? Fish fillet, cheese and tartar sauce. Damn, dude. Oh, there's cheese on it. I think you put cheese on it, right? Yeah, you ask for cheese. No, it comes with cheese stock. Damn. That's crazy. That's wild.
01:01:29
Speaker
I should try one sometime you ate the big fish No, I didn't I mean I didn't you would willingly I mean I will you know what I mean? It was a bit. He loved it so much You can't cast you can't cast the stone Is that the one I did the video for yeah? Yeah, that is the one I did the video for that was funny. That's disgusting
01:01:54
Speaker
Yeah, you without sin cast the first phone, Jared. Aiden got that Uber eats to my apartment that's different from willingly going to Wendy's and getting a fish sandwich. McDonald's. Don't over disrespect McDonald's. You were saying you love it. I do. I'd get it again. The freshest thing from McDonald's. Freshest thing on the menu, dude.
01:02:22
Speaker
How is it because they pull it out and cook it? Well, yeah, I mean, everything there is frozen, right? Yeah, I guess, besides like the quarter pounders. Listen, all I'm saying is that you can have a bunch of cheeseburgers just sitting around all day. I feel like you can't have a bunch of fish just sitting around. They fry them when you fucking get them.
01:02:50
Speaker
Yeah, I think they probably have or do they do they not freeze them? They do freeze me saying that they pull them out when you order them. Oh, yes, for sure. They don't have any like, yeah, I think they there's no precooked ones that are just trying from frozen and that they're they're precooked and hanging on the station. Maybe that I highly doubt it. They won't go through enough in a day. They can only sit out for four hours. Yeah, they're warming them now, dude.
01:03:20
Speaker
They're definitely on the way. You had to take serve safe training. Do they have fish fillet ready? It's going to say no. It's the freshest menu item. They're back there battering Haddock. Everything you need to know. Here's a Reddit about it. Perfect.
01:03:50
Speaker
Everything you need to know about how delicious it is. Everybody is some weirdos on here. It's probably just you on three different accounts saying delicious. Okay, you're on your man. This is this is you're on the spectrum thing because it's people are like, well, at my store, it is pretty much ordered ready to be ordered. Made to order. Jesus.
01:04:22
Speaker
See, it's like a less annoying version of the person who says they want fries with no salt, so they get fresh fries. Paul, would you get one of the land and sea things that they make? Or it's the burger and filet of fish? No. I'm kosher. I can't let them touch.
01:04:42
Speaker
What if, what if you ate that and they're like, if you eat this twice a day, twice a week for six weeks, your basement will never leak again. I would do it. Hell yeah. We'll come and seal your basement up. Yeah, I would do it. You should order a Big Mac, but with fish patties instead of buns.
01:05:10
Speaker
Oh, hell yeah. You want to see how they react to that request. With the middle bun, too, so it's three fish patties. And then should it should it be a double? Was that the double Big Mac? That's a limited time offering. It's ridiculous. The double Big Mac. Yep.
01:05:41
Speaker
It was ridiculous. But what are these things? Big flavor wraps. Robble, robble. Is this a new menu item? Fuck yeah. I love McDonald's, bro. I go every Monday. Oh, dude, it's the best. We're big McDonald's podcast here. Oh, yeah. Robble, robble, robble, robble.
01:06:10
Speaker
probably fruit and yogurt parfaits. No, no, I never got that. No, no, you should have tried it. Oh, this is the craziest thing. You got yogurt from parfait McDonald's. It's a fresh. It was like yogurt with a fruit in it. And then they put some, um, what's that crunchy shit? Granola. Yep.
01:06:40
Speaker
Some slivered almonds. I think there's probably a reason they don't sell that anymore. Yeah, I love people. Oh, we all know that the best menu item is the sausage, jigga jeez, McGriddle. No, it's the apple pie. The McGriddle is fucking ass. I can't believe you guys like that. Get out of here. You like Pepsi. You don't get an opinion. Yeah. Filet efficient Pepsi.
01:07:11
Speaker
They don't make those McGriddles to order. Those things just sit around all day. And they're somehow still so good. Yeah, I know. I'll give you that. They're definitely pretty good. I just like to hate on them because they seem like a gross item. But then when you bite into it, you're like, fuck, this thing is good. Yeah, dude, that's how I started.
01:07:36
Speaker
What about the filet of fish like brick of fucking things that people show? Or it's just like bricks of fish filet on like the in the freezer? I don't know. I eat fish sticks, dude. It's crazy. Those are frozen and you just throw them in the oven.
01:07:58
Speaker
I like tune out of a can. Isn't it smell your car up though eating one of those things? I don't eat it in the car. What part of I'm kosher don't you get dude? I have to wash my hands before I eat. How do they make them into a square? They just fucking clunk them with a fucking square machine dude.
01:08:29
Speaker
It's just, they just take an incredibly wasteful thing and they just punch a square out of the center of the fish and throw the rest of it away. That's kind of what I mean. They don't have like, you'd be like, Oh, if they had like chicken and chicken nuggets, then the nuggets are just made from the leftover part. But with that, there's like, what are you doing with the, God damn it. That's so gross, dude.
01:08:53
Speaker
Fish margins. I didn't even think that I didn't even know that the box was blue. So it's like an entire different blue box That's pretty cool. Though. I guess that might be the only good part about it Yeah, come on over to the dark side never dude Never try it one time. Never. Yeah Every but dude, that's how I know you're autistic. You won't need a fucking fish stick. Yeah fish at all dude. Fuck that
01:09:21
Speaker
Linguine and clams though. Yeah, exactly. That would be it. God damn. You won't eat fish and chips like fresh fish and chips. Nah, that shit sucks, dude. Damn.
01:09:36
Speaker
That's I have a pretty hard stance on fish, but I'll even eat fried fish. Yeah, you go to fucking shaws and they wrap it in newspaper for you or whatever you walk out. Where the fuck you fry? Can you fry this piece for me? They go, Oh, it's fucking this guy again.
01:09:56
Speaker
I'm gonna give me five fried fish fillets. Draw some shrimp in there. He's like the only one that asks us to fry it still. Yeah, right, dude. And I went the other day, it was the first day of Lent, and there was people up there fighting with him. Like, why is this guy, why is his food coming out? He just told me it was 45 minutes. This guy just got here. I bet they're psyched.
01:10:23
Speaker
There were some, there were some customer requests. I never worked food service, but like with retail that I would just enjoy doing because it took a lot of time and no one could bother you while you did it. Can you wear the pants for me? They'd be like, can you check other, if other stores have it and you'd be like, Oh,
01:10:46
Speaker
I'm about to call 16 different stores across the country. Just look for this random ass dress and the size you want, but that's all I'm doing for the next half hour and that's pretty tight. Hey, this is Jared. This is Jared from Dedham.
01:11:02
Speaker
Literally. I'm looking for the daisy print and a size double X. Have you guys got that? No? All right. I'll try Dover next. Hey. Do you ever call anyone in enough where you're like, hey, it's Jared and like, oh, hey, Jared, nice to hear from you. Yeah. If they were nearby stores,
01:11:28
Speaker
Um, but then sometimes it'd just be like, it would just be a Hail Mary. And I'd be like, I'm just going to call Aventura. I'm going to call, you know, Kawanga and just see what, see, there was no reference point. You just picked random stores. Here's on a phone, working at Urban on a work phone and wearing like the Kanye glasses.
01:11:56
Speaker
and all my garages and bully them paul pierce jersey on kanye glasses yeah it's juror it's it's juror from dead on my uh... i don't know if it's scary uh... man paul paul just started an entire new bit
01:12:30
Speaker
Isn't it crazy the psychology of McDonald's where you mention it once, you're like, damn, I want that so badly right now. Oh, yeah. I'm pretty much down to get McDonald's Taco Bell at any time. Yeah, legit, dude, seriously.
01:12:49
Speaker
I'll have gone to the grocery store. I've been like all day been like, oh, I'm going to make this fucking thing. I really want it. Like I'm excited about it. And if I get home, my wife goes, do you want to go to McDonald's? I'm like, yeah, hell yeah, dude. Fuck everything. Probably just throw all this other shit away.
01:13:07
Speaker
Yeah, you just fucking you have eight pounds of ribs on a smoking bagel. Fuck it. Just let it burn. I didn't want this brisket. I've been smoking for 16 hours. Yeah, exactly. Fuck that shit. I'll eat it tomorrow. Literally, it's in the morning, lunchtime and fucking late at night, dude. Anytime is good.
01:13:35
Speaker
I love McDonald's breakfast. Oh, man. I haven't gotten McDonald's breakfast in a while because I've been pampered by Chick-fil-A breakfast. So if it's breakfast, I go there. You know, speaking of random people being annoying, Jared, like that woman asking about the culada this last week. And I went out to visit my folks. So I stopped at McDonald's with Hazel in the morning.
01:14:04
Speaker
And it's maybe like 8 45. Yep. Order our food and sit down. I'm waiting. This woman comes in and um, like leans up against the booth that I'm sitting in with Hazel because it's like up near the registers kind of.
01:14:21
Speaker
And she's like, Oh, it's kind of weird that you're here with your kid. Like normally people wouldn't, they would just go right to lunch instead of having breakfast at this time of day. What the fuck? What the fuck? I was like, um, I'm just trying to eat breakfast with my daughter. We're on our way out to my parents. So, you know, just trying to eat.
01:14:45
Speaker
And then like, she didn't say anything for a couple of minutes. And she's like, yeah, my daughter came in from Pittsburgh last night. I really need a coffee. Oh my God. Where's this conversation going, lady? I'm like, okay. Hopefully they get it to you quick. And then just like, it just kept being random ass things like that. I'm like, what the fuck, dude? What do I deserve this? Some weird fuckers who think they're like,
01:15:15
Speaker
who take it very seriously that they're like the main character of the universe. Like, I'd brighten this person's day by telling him he's a weirdo for having breakfast with his kid. I do feel like, I mean, not as a non-parent, I guess maybe I'll just empathize with you guys, but also think it is maybe the worst part of being a parent, where you're like, oh, everyone in the world considers this permission to talk to me, anything they want. Oh, yeah.
01:15:46
Speaker
actually no we were at the playground yesterday or two days ago and uh this one little kid just kept on talking to me i'm like trying to play with hazel like he he was being pretty funny but then his parents came over and i'm like fuck this i'm not talking to these people yeah that's the all-time worst thing of going to the fucking park dude
01:16:11
Speaker
It's like, I'll be nice to your kid. I'm not going to be rude to a kid. If he wants to talk to me or like show me how he can like fucking jump off the top of the playground or some shit. Oh yeah. That's all fine. But I don't, we don't need to have a conversation because our kids are playing near each other. Yeah. Yeah. You hear they're making a solar farm in town. We should probably kill them. We should probably kill them.
01:16:32
Speaker
the the the
01:16:52
Speaker
the call you wanna throw the football around nope well yeah it'd be cool if they had a football or something instead of mom fucking watch you on the goddamn like dude I don't know you how about that don't go talk to your fucking parents don't use my time as your fucking parent here I was definitely true to that point
01:17:14
Speaker
Disrespectful. Not gonna be mean to the kid, but I was definitely getting to the point where I was like, all right, whatever. Yeah, yeah. I'm never gonna be mean to a kid with my head. I'm like, shut the fuck up. How about that? You shut up right now. Just trying to watch my daughter ride down the slide a few times. Yeah, dude. Can you actually fuck off?
01:17:35
Speaker
It is kind of crazy cause you go to parks and I feel like people do kind of pond their kids off. Oh my God, dude. It's just so many retards and their kids there most of the time. They're like on the phone and then they like point at you and give you the thumbs up. No, I'm not paying attention to your kid. Oh my God. That's fucking that would drive me nuts. Yeah. I'm not watching them. And you also know that that would just by the way the universe works, that would happen.
01:18:03
Speaker
when you and your mind were like, all right, I'm leaving in two minutes. Oh, yeah. Once once once Hazel goes down that slide where we're leaving and then that person on the phone like looks at you like, hey, can you just like keep an eye on my kid for a minute? Never, dude. Fuck. Never. Never even make an eye contact that long enough with the person. Yeah. Sucks, too, because we have like a couple of pretty nice playgrounds around here.
01:18:32
Speaker
I just feel like it's always like fucking mob and then you have to talk to the random. It's always popping off, dude. I never fucking understand it. And there's so many parents like they want to hover right over their kid. They like won't let the kid fall down or nothing. A bunch of parents in the way. I don't know. I usually just go and sit down, watch Hazel run around. She wants to play. We'll play obviously.
01:19:02
Speaker
normally she just wants to run around and go up and down the slide. Yeah, exactly. I don't need to stand there. I don't need to be four inches away while she goes down the slide. No, unless I'm getting down on the slide action. If it's open enough that I can get down on it too, I'm getting down on the system. I'm jumping on it. That's right.
01:19:27
Speaker
Climb on top of the tunnel slot, jump off of it. Pretty fucking sick, dude. You should do that to a kid next time. Next time a kid tries to do that to you, you should be like, hang on. Look what I can do. Say, not now, retard. Get out of here. I know. I'm going to show you what I can do first. Go fucking find your gross parents. I'm going to get this fucking kid.
01:20:04
Speaker
Maybe you should have a kid, Jared. Yeah, maybe. You know, rent one. You should get like that kid that's on two and a half men back in the day and just put them with you and your roommate. Oh God.
01:20:38
Speaker
What was even the premise of that show? Anyways, whose kid was it? I think it was the guy that's gay's kid or whatever. Wasn't Charlie Sheen's kid? No, definitely not, dude. Who was Charlie Sheen? Just the drunk guy who slept on the couch? Yeah, he was just the guy wearing foam shirts and hanging out. This TV show was so weird.
01:21:06
Speaker
It's like, so basically just fuck, fuck babes on the couch every night. It's pretty cool, right? It's like, I'm eight. This guy wear all the shirts, post the same pictures every day. I noticed. Oh my God. Oh no. It's different picture in the same exact pose in front of stuff. That's pretty genius.
01:21:33
Speaker
The hell is World of Shirts? That guy that wears the sailor hat that I sent you guys. Oh, he's a really drunk dude. Is he drunk all the time?
01:21:47
Speaker
I think, yeah. Yeah, he is. Well, he's autistic, but he's also drunk all the time. No way. There's videos of him getting kicked out of the bar. No way. Damn, that's hilarious. I did not know. I thought he was just super autistic.
01:22:05
Speaker
I think it's a little bit of both. Oh, man. He's a problem. Column A, little bit of Column B. That's a super problem right there. I don't want to get out. He's just for power, dude. That's crazy. Yeah, he just drinks wine. That's so funny.
01:22:32
Speaker
Oh my God. That is so fucking funny. Just hammering his autism is just shogging wine. Oh my God. That's fucked. Oh my God. Two shots of 99 bananas. I feel like I saw it on like no jumper or something. Him getting kicked out of the bar because he was too drunk. Oh man.
01:22:59
Speaker
Yeah, because he came from the those dudes from New York for a while. Mm hmm. The sky is crazy. The ship that looked to see their name, and the ship was a billy of teeth. The wind blew up, her bow dipped down, my boy, all boy.
01:23:27
Speaker
He's one of those guys. Maroon our coworker. The fuck was that? Which one? Oh, yes, I do. You call them a theater fag. The one who the one who was a merchant.
01:23:55
Speaker
Holy shit. That was one of the funniest things you ever did. Don't tell me we're a theater fag and he's like, uh, who did that? Who'd you say that to? Oh my God. That's awesome. He was just like, um, well, I was. All right. I guess we're not talking.
01:24:27
Speaker
He's like, so you like hairspray? Book of Mormon's good. Oh my God. I forgot. That was it. Uh, that was the Hatties. I think that was so fucking funny. Just being an outside observer of that conversation was amazing. Oh my God. That was good.
01:24:51
Speaker
It's just about shit myself when you said that Dylan, like that was so fucking fun. It's so fucking good dude.
Controversial Opinions and Wrap-Up
01:24:57
Speaker
Just start laughing. He's like, Oh, uh, yeah, musicals are fucking gay. I hate musicals. Oh man. I fucking ruined his night. Oh fuck.
01:25:19
Speaker
All right, and this thing give out some shout outs to everybody. Shouts out, raising canes. Yeah, hell yeah. Shouts out McDonald's. Shouts out to Austin, Texas. All right. All right, see you later. See you later. Bye.
01:26:00
Speaker
We like to want it