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Big Justice Boom or DOOM
105 Plays4 months ago
Sorry no intro, we were on the road this week
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Transcript
Subscriber Milestone Celebration
00:00:04
Speaker
900 subscribers.
00:00:08
Speaker
900 subscribers. We're at 899. You could be the 900. Chef Mike, 999 subscribers. Who are you guys taking? Paul, just do it. you No.
Biden Health Rumors and Comedy
00:00:26
Speaker
Chef Mike, Joe Biden is going to die. He has COVID. He tested positive of COVID. HIV positive Like maybe I guess maybe I would like I don't know if I was that sick. I guess I would like test myself, but Oh the dudes like 86 Yeah, he probably just immediately went to the hospital. Well, I think he has I mean, I just mean if even if he has like a runny nose, they gotta they gotta check him i out cuz he Just go at any moment ah That's sad
00:01:05
Speaker
That's a shame. It's a shame. Damn.
COVID Testing Hesitations
00:01:17
Speaker
I'm surprised that he even has a COVID test just laying around. Think so. ah he I mean, right? Do you think he uses one of the little plastic ones?
00:01:33
Speaker
I would hope the president gets a better COVID test. If you guys are getting sick, if you get sick tomorrow, are you testing for COVID or you're just waiting it out basically and just treating it like a cold? Oh, right now I'm, there's no way I'm but doing a fucking brain probe COVID test. ah thank you Back when I thought you had to do it to fly, yeah that was one thing, but now,
00:02:03
Speaker
I think you just walked through it. i don't I don't think that it's, ah I don't think anybody's really fucking gonna go out and get tested. No. Allegedly, you know? Absolutely not.
00:02:29
Speaker
Oh, fuck it. We ride.
00:02:36
Speaker
Fucking in this hotel bed recording. I think they probably made it up. Why? Cause he's like, Oh, that's why he's had such brain fog. He's been like, uh, getting getting tested.
Dating Methods of Jeremy Fragrance
00:02:50
Speaker
He's had COVID for, for the last two years. No, they were like, uh, you know, they were like sitting around in his war room being like, fuck now that Trump got shot in the head, everyone. feels really bad for him and like he's doing well in the polls and everything. And they were like, what can we do to make?
00:03:09
Speaker
Joe sympathetic. You remember in the late maybe it was like early 2000s when Tom Green got a testicular cancer and did the special and then Andy Dick said he had gingivitis and also did a special.
Comedic Health Announcements
00:03:23
Speaker
That's what we're looking at right now. Yeah. yeah He's one step down. He sprained his thumb. He's like, i yeah, I mean, I basically got shot in the head. I have COVID. You think Joe Biden's war room has like all of the, like, like, it's like baby proof. It has all the corners of the tables, like with those soft things on them and shit. Yeah. It's all round, all the little bugs in them. Yeah. Light switches are
Biden's War Room Humor
00:03:51
Speaker
all labeled and stuff. They got hoods. He's in the freezer in case he needs a need something to get him going. Water bottles are already opened and shit around the room. I can't imagine that.
00:04:06
Speaker
I keep looking at this picture of Jeremy fragrance in his shower with his laptop. Oh God. He's looking for girl looking for girlfriends. So many emails. Oh yeah. What's the, did he find a, did he get a, I know he got like 8,000 emails. Did he, did he get a girl off finally? Not yet, dude.
00:04:31
Speaker
Jesus is his girlfriend. He's just being selective. She has to be under 32 and follower of Christ. I feel like that's not high bar. You should be able to find that and hot clearly.
00:04:52
Speaker
She needs to be able to take him sniffing children.
00:04:58
Speaker
Maybe that's where he's getting hung out. I think the key question in that. The girl's mind is, is he rich or does he just seem rich?
00:05:13
Speaker
I mean, do you have a Cologne room? That's what I'm saying. I don't. He's he's loaded, dude. I think you could probably just steal samples from. Macy's at the mall until you like amassed a master collection though. Like what if he's just really good at shoplifting? I guess you could just steal full bottles cause no one's really buying cologne anymore. No, no. And
Panama City Adventures
00:05:38
Speaker
nobody works in stores anymore. Yeah. Everything's just sitting there asking to be stolen.
00:05:48
Speaker
I saw a sad JC Penny when I was in Panama City last week. And I thought that too. Saw the that Tesla with the Nazi sign on it at the beach. Oh yeah. Great beaches, I'll tell you that in such a shitty fucking city. Yeah, Panama City's got good some good beaches. That seemed like the fucking gutter there, dude. I mean, I think it's... Yeah, it's one of those cities that's like. It exists for tourists. Who come, you know, certain times a year and then the people who actually live there, who like live there in in like January. Oh, God. Yeah, or just the most. Like fried beach people.
00:06:46
Speaker
like off season and one of those like beach side cabana kind of restaurants. Oh, I couldn't imagine going to one of those restaurants. ah i I had the thought just now it's the Atlantic city of Florida.
00:07:01
Speaker
It's probably a good comparison. There's probably like three different Atlantic cities of Florida, but yeah.
00:07:11
Speaker
Good beach though. Clear, clear water beaches are nice. Yeah. Those, uh, those Gulf coast beaches are nice. That's where it's at. It was super rip, ripping it though. Um, in the water, but it was dope. Oh yeah.
McDonald's Nostalgia
00:07:29
Speaker
People were shitty though. Naturally panhandling. w trump trump Tell you, they have a good McDonald's though.
00:07:41
Speaker
Nice. What was your order? Oh God. Just, you know, tons of McNuggets and, uh, shared double quarter pounder. Yep. Then, uh, another cheeseburger. Got a, I've been getting enough frozen cokes. Okay. I never had that frozen Coke. So fire Coke. It's like an icy, but Coke flavored. Yeah. Oh yeah. Fucking AMC. When I went to AMC last week, I was stoked to get one, but they didn't have them ready at that time. That sucks. I was so pumped.
Airport Chaos and Compensation
00:08:20
Speaker
You guys must be pumped you don't have to go to Pittsburgh anymore. Other than it's the Pittsburgh Pickle Festival right now. Oh, shit. Liable to get shot.
00:08:32
Speaker
What are they doing in Pittsburgh? Shooting presidents? Shooting presidents? Yeah. I forgot about that. Trying to shoot presidents. Yeah, that's true. You probably don't want to get too into that. I kept making a gun sign at people at work over the past two days. Just letting them know. Yeah, that's why I said you keep any but any one of us can get assassinated if our president could almost get assassinated. Mm-hmm. Yep. Probably not relevant enough quite yet.
00:09:15
Speaker
That's like a
00:09:18
Speaker
There was almost an assassination at the airport when I was going out with the two hour delay. People were up at the counter, small airport. So people were getting rebooked at the counter at the gate counter. Yeah. Course. Like I said, shitty people. Fucking huge line. One black lady with dreads was just on the ground on her knees. I guess she couldn't like walk or needed a wheelchair, but this bitch was just waiting in line on her knees. I was like, okay. yeahre You're embarrassing yourself already. Then she started yelling when they switched the line over to the other gate. They're like, okay, anybody else that needs to be rebooked, go to gate seven. And I was like, that's right, bitch, crawl over to gate seven, you fucking idiot.
00:10:13
Speaker
ah That's what you get that's I think some other dude maybe from the airlines put her in it in a chair But then there was some dude that was in line next to me He was like I'm gonna I'm gonna have him compass something and Then he went up to the gate and started acting like he was angry and just made a fool out of himself They're like two hours is so normal I know. They're like, who booked, who'd you book through? And of course this guy never travels. He's embarrassing him and his girlfriend or whatever. And they're like, did you we go do like really cheap flights dot.org?
00:10:53
Speaker
Yeah, exactly it was exactly one of those services. And they just started like laughing at this dude. They're like, well, can't really do anything. You got to call fucking yeah Expedia dot.com. well We didn't actually book a seat. Technically, we bought an NFT of the seat. Yeah, you fucking that's disgusting. Don't do that. So embarrassing guy probably didn't get anything did that there was like well I'm missing a three hundred and seventy-five dollar Hotel in Fort Lauderdale today. because i I'm like dude. No you're not. What are you talking about also? That's not a flex like I don't want to pay three hundred and seventy-five dollars a night for a hotel room, but that's not like You're fucking you're a baller
00:11:46
Speaker
Oh, you're going to $4? Sorry, dude.
00:11:53
Speaker
Oh, man. One second. Hold on. Let me pause this real quick. got it We bring the boom! We bring the boom to you! We bring the boom! justice We bring the booze to you.
00:12:13
Speaker
big justice we gotta go my What the fuck? Bro, I've been addicted to those guys. He's still eating his chicken bake, bro. Leave him alone. He's still eating my chicken bake! How about when AJ laughs? we'll be at the game but the palm beach gardeninal You should have went to that, dude. I love when his dad does the the wrestler laugh. He's like, but oh oh, I beat my wife.
00:12:48
Speaker
but oh oh He used to be a wrestler. I know. Oh, ho I hate these two people so much. I sold one New Jersey property and now I live in Boca Raton.
00:13:08
Speaker
this is the g Why is his son sound like a little girl? He was a wrestler though in like VFWs. He wasn't even like on wwe WWE. Oh no. Yeah. He was just like one of those fucking pleasure guys. They ruined Costco for you. Ho ho ho! Did I mean a chocolate chunk cookie? Double chocolate chunk, boom! Hey daddy, what is that? It's a double chunk chocolate cookie! cookie!
00:13:44
Speaker
Oh man. Isn't the chicken bake just like a Domino's pizza crust, basically? Probably the chicken bake is the worst thing they sell there. It's fucking unbelievable, dad. Double jumble jock cookie! The chicken bake's like a large hot pocket, basically. Jesus Christ.
00:14:04
Speaker
Yeah, I'd fucking put his son to the down to the fucking ground with two punches.
00:14:12
Speaker
that yeah
00:14:14
Speaker
I just want to know why he sounds so fucking girlish. just start I'll just pull a knife out on his son, dude. They got such a weird group, too. They've got Big Justice, Age, whatever the dad's name is, AJ. AJ, yeah. And then the Rizzler. The Rizzler's just that fat little fuck, right? Mm-hmm. He's like, yeah, yeah, fuck you. Fuck me. I'm gay. I'm the Rizzler.
00:14:46
Speaker
And then they have all those other weirdos at the hangout. and Yeah. the Yeah. The Rizzler literally looks like just, I don't even, I don't even know, dude. Just like one of those racers you would do kickflips on in school.
00:15:08
Speaker
That's a wild crew and they're all in Boca Raton just in some weird HOA community probably that all their parents met in.
00:15:17
Speaker
go shopping were eating a chicken ba moco course we have to try the new double chumk trumpa cookie is jesus christ up I love that their content is like barely relatable to people they're like all right it's gonna be over under and where is it under or over 942 dollars at Costco this week
00:15:46
Speaker
We're gonna buy this patio set and our groceries together, no problem on the whim right now.
00:15:55
Speaker
Tap the button. You would just think that like, the dad is in pretty good shape so you think he would just be like fucking totally disappointed that his son is just a fat loser. Oh my god.
00:16:14
Speaker
Paul, you should comment on their most recent video and be like, do you know the president was almost assassinated and you guys are still doing this shit? Something totally irrelevant. You're still doing this shit and DGT got fucking almost assassinated? Not now with the double-chunkled chalk cookie. Trump took one through the ear and all you can do is say boom or doom. We're going over the assassination of Donald Trump. Is it a boom or is it a doom?
00:16:52
Speaker
oh boy boom boom boom but
00:17:07
Speaker
oh my god we're going over the the sound footage of the las vegas shooting as you can hear two different shooters at the same time at two different calibers is it a boom or is it a doom doom i mean if you were uh never mind just keep it to myself You gotta say it. Oh wait, I gotta get my shoes. yeah
00:17:39
Speaker
That is pretty hilarious if that's like the thing he's worried about. Oh my god.
Trump Assassination Attempt Reactions
00:17:44
Speaker
just wait i get give Just got shot in the ear and he's like, wait, let me get my shoes. I can't be photographed walking barefoot through the grass. Oh my god. Hey, my guy keeps it G dude. You gotta keep, you gotta to put those dogs in there. Yeah. we Wait, wait.
00:18:05
Speaker
I mean, a lot of people were saying that, like, they thought it was fake because he stood up and took the picture. But when you hear that audio, they're like, yeah, shooters neutralized. And then he stands up. Yeah, exactly. I don't even think they would have tried to fucking move him if the guy was still shooting. They were just all laid on top of him. Yeah, that's probably true. I love that that's their defense mechanism. I thought it would be something I thought like a shield would pop out of the ground and like he would huddle under it. it just thought oh yeah they're Just a pile. A pile of fat lesbians all over him.
00:18:39
Speaker
Like, who would even want that job? What a fucking shitty job. Oh yeah, so your job is you have to lay down on top of the purse and then be a bullet sponge. Yeah, you have to take up a bullet for this guy. Yeah. Well, first it starts with like, how good are you at spotting very ah obvious things on roofs? And then then you pass and then you're like, you got like a, you got like 50 50 on the test. So you're hired. Yeah. You're good. You're good. You totally failed the visual test, so you're gonna be right on the front line.
00:19:14
Speaker
And then I love all the troops with like night vision on that for some reason that's like guarding him around them that come out of nowhere. Yeah. Just in case the lights go out, you know, just in case another Pittsburgh retarded guy comes out of nowhere with a, there's an insane portion of the video where they're, they've like rushed them into the SUV and there's like three Female secret service agents just literally just running around like I don't know what to do Not you know, and there's a lot of there's a lot of shit on Twitter right now And I'm not saying that uh that women shouldn't be allowed in the secret service but it's just it literally looks like if there was like a um a comedy with like Melissa McCarthy and like Mindy Kaling and Kristen Wiig where it was like their first day um
00:20:08
Speaker
out of Secret Service School. And they were like, all right, you you know, a little bit high profile, but not it's not like you're guarding the president. You're just going to guard Donald Trump at a random ass rally in Pittsburgh. Dip your toes in the water, get you ready for the ri for the big time. And then you get shot in the head. and They're like, oh.
00:20:32
Speaker
Oh, my God. You can literally in the video where He like where he's actually getting shot. You can hear one of them go like, what are we doing? What are we doing? What are we where? Where are we going? Oh, wait, can I get my shoes?
00:20:50
Speaker
You know what, I handled it perfectly. Big justice. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Mr. Trump or Costco, guys? Boom. Boom. That's so funny. fors For that for that attempted assassination, that's a dude. Oh, my fucking God, dude, they're they're just dropping twelve hundred dollars a week at fucking Costco. So funny.
00:21:30
Speaker
Who the fuck eats 48 Chibani fucking plain yogurts in a week? Jesus
Secret Service Comedy
00:21:38
Speaker
They're like reverse Mr. Beasting at Costco. I need to find his address. Mr. President, Mr. President, the shooter's down. That's a dude.
00:21:52
Speaker
ah I'm going to just comment his address under his next video. Yes, we got his address. Shooter's down. List of the shooter's pizza plates under his next video.
00:22:15
Speaker
I need to do that. Boom. I'll be, instead of like the Gio guesser on Instagram, I'll just be me. Doxxing people. people. Doxxing minor Instagram celebrities. And anybody who follows my account, unwilling, just just a free follow. And just my next video, I'm doxing, uh, whatever, soccer guy 22. Here's his address. Here's his phone number. So i went I went down through his account, I found this picture he posted in 2015 and in the background there's a reflection of a license plate and I can tell it's a New Jersey license plate, so that led me to... Oh yeah, that's basically how I got our boy, dude. That was the most recent docsing, I was just tracking like sun patterns on corners of streets and where they're lined up.
00:23:13
Speaker
No one's safe. No one's safe. Oh, wow. I didn't know that this was your mortgage rate at this house on this address. That's crazy.
00:23:28
Speaker
o You know who wouldn't have missed that shot?
00:23:36
Speaker
Steven Paddock. Steven Paddock would have right between the eyes. Fucking beamed him, dude, right in the fucking dome. Steven Paddock would have somehow made the bullet go straight down through his through through the top of his skull and out his chin.
00:23:55
Speaker
Oh my god, there's a 70-year-old very, like, very white-skinned male in a hoodie up there? Oh my, ew, that's really gross. something Did somebody fill a white hoodie with a bunch of uncooked turkeys?
00:24:19
Speaker
what He has 16 AR-15s up there.
00:24:27
Speaker
so He has 48 AR-15s in a turret gun he has up there mounted already. Oh my god. This video of ah of the Secret Service helping How handing him pelicans full of guns? left the roof Someone on Twitter is like as replays like as you can see throughout Trump's six-minute speech. You can see paddock. He's loading 18 hockey bags onto this roof by himself oh Man that guy that kid was so retarded. Is there any more information that came out about him?
00:25:13
Speaker
Um, I don't think I mean, they had like. They they were i saw a video of like one of his classmates, which I think he's 22, so it's also like it's been a few years since he was in high school, but. you know, kids from four years ago being like, yeah, he was like weird. We made fun of him and like kicked him and stuff. He was really political and like just said weird stuff. So like, this doesn't surprise me at all. We bullied the fuck out of there. It's basically the vibe. I mean, to be, to be willing to come out and like talk to the news and be like, Oh yeah, I knew that kid.
00:25:52
Speaker
You've got to be you've got to be able to distance yourself from that person as much as humanly possible and be like, oh, yeah, we went to school together. ah He was a piece of shit.
00:26:05
Speaker
Yeah, he was a total loser, whatever. He sucked. He was born after 9-11. He's not built like us. He doesn't have the the mental stability of having a terrible event in his life. Yeah, he thinks this is a fucking terrible event. Dude.
00:26:26
Speaker
I keep telling all my Trump friends, I go, this is the first one. Just wait there on the second one. They're going to get them. No, they're definitely going to Iran's after him now. I will say the I had a realization on Twitter after like the actually the day of and the day after, which is that like the type of gay people that go to gay pride parades and the type of Trump people that wear like Trump hats and T-shirts literally exactly the same. Oh, yeah. There was like videos on TikTok and and Twitter all weekend that were like, up until now, I've been afraid to wear my Trump hat in public. I was worried what my neighbors and and my community would think. But now that President Trump has taken a bullet for me, I can't hide in the shadows anymore. I'm wearing my Trump hat out. And then it's like them like just walking through the mall for no reason, wearing a red MAGA hat.
00:27:20
Speaker
Oh my god. Dude, you're gay. You're just gay. know he that you to this where youall want reach something theres three you Wait, wait, wait. I gotta get my shoes. When i was I was heading to your place on Sunday, Pops, there was like a little pride parade above the highway overpass on 95. Just people with Trump flags just walking back and forth so the cars could see him just being like, it literally, it was ah it was a gay pride parade for Trump. The show happens all the time. It's never put two and two together until there was like literally there was like coming out videos of people being like, I'm coming out as a Trump supporter.
00:28:02
Speaker
I said it last night, but it's crazy being in New England back up here compared to being down south. I mean, not in Florida. Florida's just gay and different. Say in Georgia. It's like people, when I come to New England, surprisingly, I see 20 times, 200 times more Trump stuff just out and about than I ever do down there. Yeah. It's weird, people up here are aggressively gay pridy about it. Yeah, they really like to broadcast their shit. I don't care about the politics side, but it's like, dude, that you can't even see out of your back window the amount of stickers that's on that shit. I know. It's like Jesus Christ. You know what's pretty crazy? This big justice kid calls his dad daddy.
00:28:52
Speaker
I don't like that. Pause. So I'm saying, dude, he's like way too old for that. Daddy.
00:29:03
Speaker
Yuck. yeah He's not around. ah He's not growing up around too many black kids, if that's the case. It's just him and the Rizzler. Yo, motherfucker, that's mad gay, bro. yeah They're like 13.
00:29:18
Speaker
Doing whippets. Yo, that shit's fucking gay bro. Yo know justice. You're fucking gay What is up with that weird crossover right now since one has inner city Community taken up with it student. I saw not there's like yo this nosed up ah the Latin kid was coming up and G checking is at the gas station. He's just holding up giant balloon. He's like Yo, what neighborhood you from? but He's just fucking on. You're getting buck on a bunch of people for no reason, just high as hell. It's so funny that you try to front on somebody when you're fucking fucked up on nitrous. All you have to do is just push that dude over. He's just holding in a huge balloon. It's hilarious. It would be so easy to fight somebody if you weren't on nitrous and they were
00:30:10
Speaker
It's like, dude, those guys, ah just how much they take you to the limit, their brain cells are gonna be done by like 2025. Literally, it's gonna be New Year's Eve and they're just gonna be like, beep, just like nothing going on up there at all. My liver failure. How much, how good ah do you think like hot wings in the hood taste while you're just on two balloons of nitrous though? Like you're you're probably feeling fucking on fire. That video is so funny because the guy just eats like a fucking plain fry. and He's like, this shit's good, bro. yeah She's like, how's that plate, honey? You look down, it's like fucking 18 cheeseburgers and like 40 hot wings. And he's like takes one fry. He's like, damn shit, motherfucking, fucking motherfucking hitting.
00:31:03
Speaker
She's like, Tai Wing, he takes like the smallest bite of a wing. He's like, yeah, hell yeah. I'm like, this kid is fucking so high off the whippets, dude. I don't even understand why people like that shit so much. It's like kind of fun, but it's not like it's not like it's the best drug ever invented. Yeah, like insanely high for five seconds and then you come down and you your head just have a headache, like a really bad headache. Yeah. Dude, it's because they smoked so much weed. They're like, what the fuck is next? Like we need to get insane. We need to do this like in within two seconds. And I guess it might be legal. I don't know. Everything just makes a wub noise for five seconds and then you get a headache.
00:31:52
Speaker
pretty much hell yeah I'll start doing I'll start driving around doing that non-alcoholic beer in my cup holder and just a big whippet jar oh you gotta to get to like the giant cylinder he has yes I'll buckle it in in my passenger seat
00:32:16
Speaker
You have frozen coke and some whippets. Oh, AMC better have a fucking frozen coke this Friday. Fucking light.
Favorite Movie Recommendations
00:32:25
Speaker
Uh, uh, before this I've finished, uh, No Country for Old Men. Pretty good movie. Yeah, it's a really good movie. I saw Heat, um, Monday at the airport. Very good. Heat I've seen like three times. I have no memory of it though. It's too long. It's my favorite movie now. Holy shit, that's such a good movie.
00:32:47
Speaker
Everybody at work, i I filled my entire day up today by going, like, have you seen Heat? seen Have you seen The Godfather? Have you seen Oppenheimer? And then every time I make, yeah, I make good movie. Good movie. That was really it. That was my contribution. It's perfect. You seen Heat? Yeah. Good movie. Good movie.
00:33:16
Speaker
Oh, say, can you see?
00:33:27
Speaker
I also like that after they realized Trump was going to be fine, they started chanting USA. I know like a fucking, like it's the PGA tour coming up on the 18th hole. so you I like that it never occurred to poor dad. That's dead in the crowd with a headshot and they're literally that. And the, and there was an interview I heard of the guy who was sitting next to him who was like, uh,
00:33:58
Speaker
They were like, are you sure he was dead? And he was like, he he was. Oh, he was dead. Like in the like in the like his entire head exploded kind of way. Jesus. Which I don't think it's like, you know, like where he was like, that man was not alive. Jesus Christ. But also everyone was just so sure, even for the Secret Service where they were like neutralized, where you're like, there's never there's never been two shooters before. Oh, yeah, everyone everyone was just like, oh, they got him. All right, cool. There's there definitely couldn't be like people embedded in the crowd with bombs or anything like we're good. Let's just stand here like idiots chanting.
00:34:36
Speaker
Dude, do you guys see the big flinch on those snipers, though? They're fucking choked. Oh, dude, there's a whole thing about it. I mean, I don't know how real it is. So caveat that I'm just perpetuating 4chan rumors. But supposedly the guy, one of the guys in that picture was like, had him in his sights for three minutes and and wasn't given the authorization to use deadly force. What the? Who fucking who gives authorization some cop? Yeah, you got to like, I think you got to call your boss and be like, hey, I'm about to shoot a kid. Is that OK?
00:35:14
Speaker
some Pittsburgh cop on fucking benzos who's just like snoozing down there but again this is all like twitter by way of 4chan so anyone can type that shit and say like hey i'm that secret service agent who yeah i'm that secret service sniper who you see in the picture and i wasn't allowed to take the shot because of the lady director of the secret service said no Hey, I'm that Secret Service Sniper. I had him in my sights for 90 seconds, and I'm trans now. This is my story.
00:35:51
Speaker
This is my story. True life. you know so so sort of service streams true life I'm a trans sniper sewor so go go neutralize good neutralize that's ah that after like five shots right now now now now now neutralize go go go a little too late
00:36:29
Speaker
go orange chicken and it's a double chunk of junk this is the philly cheesesteak oh we got a boom there for the philly cheesesteak jesus christ yeah the italic sub Well, the Italian sub, it's kind of like a salad, so it's a doom. It's the closest thing I've had to a salad, it's a doom.
00:37:09
Speaker
it I love this guy, dude. I don't know and want to have him on the pod. Do you think though the Rizzler is like a human chicken bake and that's why they like him so much? So he's a six piece popcorn chicken from KFC? Yeah. He's a human chicken bake and want to like those Carmelo chocolate bars combined. Boom.
00:37:44
Speaker
Boom. Sorry I am busy. You don't understand? I am busy. Are you mad? I told you I am busy. I am busy. I am busy. I am busy. I am busy.
00:38:04
Speaker
Those ones make Shannon so mad. I'll just sit there and watch him in bed. Let's just get increasingly angry. I'm busy. Are you mad? I told you I'm busy. Yes, I am a banker. No, I'm not a banker. i Yes, I'm a banker. No, I'm and not a banker. Yes, I'm a banker. No, I'm not a banker. I love those kids. What is your kids so security code? What is your security code? Oh man, I need to get that guy on the pod. Yes, this is the IRS. but What are your boobs IRS agent now? Next time one of those guys call me and we go, sorry, I'm busy. This is the IRS to give me your fucking boobs. I kill you IRS. I said I'm busy. Busy.
00:39:06
Speaker
Oh man, I'll tell you what, guys, the, uh... It's just because of ease of use when I'm traveling, but the Starbucks is up their game on the breakfast burrito they have. Egg, sausage, bacon, potato... Very good. Very good. And blueberry muffin, too. oh Yeah, they've always had a they've always had a really solid blueberry muffin. Yeah, I get both of those and it just takes me to the next level.
00:39:38
Speaker
For some reason, the coffee there doesn't give me, ah doesn't do it for me anymore, even if I just get straight espresso. I had a cappuccino and a a large coffee and in the same sitting at Starbucks yesterday, it just didn't even, didn't even elevate me. I go to Dunkin', I just get a medium iced coffee from Dunkin', and it does it, just sends me through the roof. Starbucks, I think, is cuttin' their shit. They're cuttin' it with ventin' all over there, but like, just baby powder, actually, instead. Coffee's going extinct. They're probably just trying to like stretch it out Duncan's doing it, right? They have unlimited their Bitcoin Duncan's Bitcoin Duncan also still puts like a pound of sugar Not in their black coffee. Yeah, they do. No, they don't. Yeah, they do. No, they don't that tastes way too bitter
2025 Political Agenda Concerns
00:40:31
Speaker
These aren't those fucking Mexican slurry coffees where the old lady pours like a hint of espresso and eight tablespoons as a slurry technique on the- Yeah, that's called coffee. Puts them on- puts it on top of the coffee. The cafe con leche or whatever. Mmm.
00:40:54
Speaker
You say I'm a banker? No, I'm not the banker. You say I'm a banker? No, I'm not the banker. What's this 2025 stuff everybody keeps talking about? I think my mom asked me about that. I was like, I don't fucking know what the hell that shit is. Uh, they're gonna let you smoke cigarettes inside of fast food restaurants again.
00:41:20
Speaker
You, uh, I was going to they're going to bring back the rodeo burger from Burger King. Yeah. um They want to. ah Make it so that like no one wears sleeves anymore. OK. So everyone's got like cut off t-shirts again. um But they're going to we were talking about it the other week, but they're going to get rid of all the computer shit in cars. Yeah.
00:41:54
Speaker
and um And then I think they just want to like make it so that white men control the country again. Amen. It's pretty much just that. Gays go back to hell.
00:42:10
Speaker
ah Yeah, I don't know. It's a bunch of shit that everyone's freaking out about, but I think they've it's all the shit they've been doing for for fucking every, you know, The last four years of or the four years of Trump, it was all all the same shit. but make it What is it, though? Is it Trump stuff that they're worried about? It's like a policy. I guess I mean, I haven't read it, to be honest. It's like a policy platform, though. It's them being like, all right, here's what we want to do in 2025. And it's like ban abortion, get rid of illegal immigrants and seal the borders, get rid of like
00:42:51
Speaker
entitlements and welfare and social security and shit like normal fucking everything's Republicans have been wanting to do forever. So I don't know anyone surprised or shocked when they're like, yeah, we would like to make it so that you can't get an abortion in this country. It's like, yeah, dude, they've been saying that for like 50 years. OK.
00:43:12
Speaker
So I don't fucking know, dude. It's one shit or the other, right? I mean,
00:43:21
Speaker
You ain't wrong.
Political Priorities and Wishes
00:43:24
Speaker
It's just all shit they're never going to do that. they I'd love. Yeah, that's the other thing. But I just love for either of the parties to be like, Hey, I'm not interested in like. in like reshaping society around some fucking ancient religion. Uh, I would love it so that you could go to the grocery store and get the food you need for the week without spending $300. Uh, gas at $4 a gallon is insane. And, uh, and smoke cigarettes and indoors again.
00:43:56
Speaker
you should be able to smoke cigarettes indoors again. And, uh, you know, if you're making like 60,000 a year or more, you should be able to buy a house. Let's just do those things. Like, I don't actually, like, I don't, I mean, I, I'm forced to have an opinion about abortion because that's the way society works now is like every fucking issue you have to have an opinion about. But I would really just like to be like, Hey, it would be nice if, Every moment of my life wasn't somebody trying to nickel and dime me for existing That would be dope That would be pretty sick. I Shouldn't have to pay for better Wi-Fi in this fucking submit of And we and I mean dude I could just go on about this like we have the worst fucking internet in the in the world normal internet in like
00:44:47
Speaker
Fucking Europe is like a thousand megabytes per second. We get we have to pay extra at the hotel to get like 50. Yeah. Shit on Musk fucking way too much money a month to use my own off grid Internet. And then both these assholes have the like fucking. I don't even know. Text constantly. but Give me $50. The other guy is winning. Give me give me $50.
00:45:16
Speaker
Yeah. Give us $2 join our Patreon. Yeah, dude. say that should be Save the for that. You were going to give to Trump or Biden, uh, and, and listen to subscribe to our Patreon for 25 months. yes exactly Way better. We might all be dead by 25 months is over and you'll still have a good membership. You'll be paid out. Not only new episodes, but you get all the old episodes, too. Yeah, exactly.
00:45:51
Speaker
Gucci doesn't even have internet. He's a subscribed Patreon member. If you subscribe, you can play Call of Duty or or GTA with us. Yes, that's true. and need to load I need to load back up onto the GTA world. Like I said, I was gonna
00:46:13
Speaker
oh You could just get a kill dozer now I think you've always been able to Okay, I was trying to tempt everyone into hopping on by being like oh shit kill dozer. It was way too late at night, dude That's that's that's subjective What time are you staying up to nowadays? At the same time, I'm always up probably like midnight ish between like midnight and two a.m. Two a.m. Is a little crazy. I don't think that's like two and if I go down like a rabbit hole where I'm where I'm like speed running barbecue showdown.
00:46:56
Speaker
I'm like, fuck, i I have to know who wins. But usually it's like, you know, twelve thirty one. What about if you have to wake up at like fucking five in the morning? Same, same shit, dude. And you just... Same shit. You just power through it. Hell yeah. Not me. Going to bed after those. Yep. I think I might have to do the same. Might have to record the Patreon later in the week. It's fine. I gotta fly it. Hopefully fly out of here tomorrow. We'll see. Maybe I'll yell at the gate agent. What are you gonna do about this for me?
00:47:39
Speaker
All I want to know is for me. That's why our old job sent me this email, but then didn't BCC everybody. So now all these retards in this email chain have my email. Yeah, dude, they're just like literally fucking idiots. So one, everyone in the company has a company email address now. So you don't need to send emails to people's personal email addresses anymore. And yeah, that part two to be like,
00:48:10
Speaker
Oops. Here's everyone's personal info. I would just go through that list and sign everyone up for farmers only.com. What's the email they sent you Paul? Somebody got in trouble for smoking weed at work. So they sent out that it's a zero tolerance for anyone using. Yeah. Again, it was like a remote. It's like HR is like so fucking stupid. where they're like, oh shit, a bunch of people just got sexually harassed, so we gotta have like, I want an email to remind everyone that sexual harassment's not okay. yeah Yeah, dude. Pills are cool. No smoking. i was about I was about to slap a girl's tit and then I got this email that reminded me like, oh wait.
00:48:54
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not supposed to, that's sexual harassment. Okay. I won't do that now. Oh, what? I hit reply all reply back to everybody and just be like, I don't work for this company anymore. And you don't know how to fucking put together emails, dipshit. There's literally nothing they can do to you. Nope. You can just doom dude. Yeah. You could just send a fucking giant
00:49:24
Speaker
Just once a week. a
00:49:30
Speaker
I want to have all your personal emails. You're all subscribed to my meme page. Dude, that's crazy. That means like everyone. From from that building in the last like three years, if not more. Well, they were that no one ever thought like we should clean this list up.
00:49:53
Speaker
but I never even made it to my first day in that building, dude. I still have my email on file. It's nuts. Do.
00:50:11
Speaker
That's crazy. What else? What does this? What is that right here?
00:50:21
Speaker
oh This was a note that I had late at night was L. Ron Hubbard podcast technique where we might just do like the most podcasts ever until we become podcast leaders of the industry. Oh, yeah. We put out like 100 a week. ah do Doesn't have to be much set the world record dirt of how however many pod if we do 100 a week do we'll be up there. You look at the library, it's like 1,400 podcasts just to keep rolling. Yep.
00:51:01
Speaker
That's where we could do what I said a while ago, where we just do the podcast about the podcast before that. Then you just crank numbers out. You just go straight statistics and you just have the most podcasts ever. Yeah. And we'd you know you'd start to really branch out to different demographics. Cause we'd end up just like reading the Bible, right? Yeah. We'd be like, listen, they're not all going to be gems today. We're just going to read the book of Job. Filibuster of podcasts. I mean, it was just basically, we were just, it would be Scientology where our listeners only have an option to, if they want to like stay up to date on the pod episodes, they have to just listen like 24, like any open time in their day that they normally miss. Yeah, you don't want to miss it.
00:51:46
Speaker
It would be like they would unsubscribe from every match. Shane would go down and everybody's numbers would tank. Yeah. Then they eventually have to come, come on our podcast. we i don't know dude We're doing today. So hop on whenever you can. Yeah. You don't know when it's going to be. You got to listen to the whole 16 hours. Yeah. I don't know. We kind of just text each other when we have a free half hour in the day and we just podcast real quick. you got You gotta to make it through four hours of Aiden and I reading the Bible in an Indian accent, and then you get to Matt and Shane. Then some of it's just voice notes recorded off of into the microphone from throughout the day. Mm-hmm.
00:52:32
Speaker
Doom! God fucking damn it. What's going on? Dude, I blocked off all of Friday because I'm going to go to the beach instead of working. Yeah. And I did that like two weeks ago and no one scheduled any meetings with me. And in the last 12 hours, I've gotten three hours of meetings scheduled on Friday. Well, that's when you know, like last minute, like people being like, oh, my flight was delayed. Can we move this to Friday?
00:53:08
Speaker
Tom, now you're on PTO. I'm not on PTO, though. Ooh, my flight got moved from seven days from now. Could we, could you meet up on Friday? Yeah, but you get unlimited. p two I could I could have I could have taken this Friday off. I'm I'm I'm taking basically every Friday for the next two months off for like reasons. This is just I wanted to go to the beach. It's fine. I only really have to actually show up to like an hour and a half of these meetings. Like there's one I'm just I'm straight up just going to be like, oops, I forgot. Just put it on the while you're at the beach, dude.
00:53:45
Speaker
Yeah. And then the other two, I'm just going to have my earbuds in at the beach, but I was, I was really the just a principle of like, don't schedule shit one day out on a Friday. Are you retarded? Yeah, dude. That's cause they went to the beach on Monday and Tuesday this week. yeah
00:54:07
Speaker
Oh man.
00:54:10
Speaker
It's like people, I'm just like, yeah, I don't really care. I'm not going to respond to anything and I'm not going to do anything, so I don't fucking care. What do you think about this, Aiden? Yeah. Well, I don't really care. I'm leaving, so it's your problem. Have you seen heat? um
00:54:36
Speaker
Oh man, that's been a good- that's been a good career Xanax is doing that. I don't know, have you seen heat? I don't give a fuck.
00:54:48
Speaker
Just canceling meetings, not having to have a reason. Yep. Yeah, not gonna be there. What are they gonna do, fire you? Yeah, exactly. You got them by the balls, dude. What are you gonna fucking do? Yeah, what are you gonna fucking fire me? Hey, they need you right now, clearly. Or else they would've just told you, okay, whatever. Alright, later. Sign our, buddy. Boom! That you should start doing in every meeting. yeah I'm gonna give this meeting a a boom or a doom at the end of it, so... Everybody be on your best behavior.
00:55:35
Speaker
Oh, man.
Podcasting Domination Idea
00:55:36
Speaker
That's basically four meetings today. And if they're all dooms, I'm not coming in tomorrow. Yeah, you won't hear from a me for until I leave. I'm going on permanent PTO and you have to pay it. Oh, man. Maybe I'm just going to put Gucci's address as the podcast title of this episode.
00:56:00
Speaker
ah Put his put his bad little Caesar's the closest one address as the title I Think we're gonna do that. We're gonna do a hundred podcasts a week everybody We're gonna do a hundred hours of podcasting every single week You have to listen to every single one or else I'll notice in the viewership tank then I'll Doc's every single person that listens to this
00:56:30
Speaker
In a nice way. Paul, the that is the most disgusting thing you've ever sent.
00:56:41
Speaker
That's going to haunt me for the rest of the night. I was waiting for one of you guys to see that. What is it? I don't even want to tease it. yeah You just got to watch it. We need we need her ah a boom or a doom on that video, dude. But that's I would take which one eight hundred Asian guys slurping down fucking tentacles before I ever watch that again. Which one? Which one is it? It's the second most recent one that I sent that's pink.
00:57:20
Speaker
Oh, man, let's see.
00:57:24
Speaker
You'll know which one it is. Jesus Christ. Oh, God, this is insane. So I take it from you, that's a boom. Oh, God. You got to nail tech, I hear. Jesus Christ.
00:57:49
Speaker
bo Boom. Boom, boom, boom.
00:58:00
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, and the nail text definitely insulated for sure. Jesus Christ. I got a couple more people I need to send that to. let He got to round it up. He got to send it to my mom, my dad.
00:58:23
Speaker
Jesus fucking Christ. Of course we're dudes are us. We watch videos of women's labias. We watch waxing videos. Boom. Boom. That's actually our full time occupations.
00:58:56
Speaker
Here I have looking through my emails of all my girlfriends, 8,000, 8,000 girlfriends.
00:59:07
Speaker
He's like the Craigslist killer dude. Jeremy fragrance. I can't stop laughing though. I him just working on the laptop inside of the shower. That's absolutely that's crazy. That's creative as you could ever think. Here I have my laptop in the shower and I look through my girlfriends. Oh my God. That said something funny like, uh, explained in my last video as to why I'm standing in the, in the shower. It's the only place I could get internet. Cause I'm stealing internet from the neighbor. Oh my God.
00:59:48
Speaker
So he's definitely, that answers your question from earlier. He's definitely yeah broke as shit. Boom. Stealing internet from your neighbor. Dude spends every penny of yarns on fragrance. No, it's definitely all on just like Adderall and cocaine. Well, yeah. Boom. They are so pretty at times. and i asked for certain verification processes and it worked and so it's it's it's possible
01:00:20
Speaker
find a person like that i don't know anybody on earth has ever done something that that's what i have done I'm very happy that I did it and so I know I really put my investment into it is to have a one girl to the wife until thatparts because that's what i'm looking for My first verification is I ask him two questions. Do you like corn and are you a nail tech? special ah theyve They must send one labia strip. Do you do you have sideburns on your vagina? And then I say yeah yes or no?
01:01:14
Speaker
Oh my god. Get him on the... Dude, Paul, can you send him a DM and ask him if he'll come on the podcast?
01:01:23
Speaker
This is gonna be like, are you Christian? Yeah, totally. We're all Christian. You ever say anything bad about Jesus? Yeah, I'm Christian, dude. We we both went to Catholic school and Aidan went to CCD for a year. Yeah, exactly. I never went to Catholic school. Well, I did. So I'll, I'll lead when he asks the cat Christian questions. you know fuck I went to a Catholic college. So I take that back. Tell him you're from Cherokee, New York, dude.
01:01:57
Speaker
DM, um dude, please come on my, our hit podcast. We do a hundred hours a week. We do a hundred episodes every single week.
01:02:05
Speaker
We're not paying you though We got to bring Gucci on on here and he'll talk through his skull candy microphone on his head so buzz in Is very tangled up one pair of headphones that he has I
01:02:32
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, a podcast from my Xbox 360 headset that plugs into my phone.
01:02:41
Speaker
Damn, you see that the company that owns Ray-Bans bought Supreme. Oh, Jesus Christ. Is that true? Mm-hmm. I thought you were gonna say T-Mobile bought them. It's over for Supreme. I was about to say, I mean, not that they haven't been going downhill for a while now, but... Gonna be able to get it at Paxon now. Basically. Yeah, ever since their inner racism really ah flourished there. I don't even know. why Last time I bought something from Supreme, I was in high school, so it's been a minute. I mean, I don't think they can get like $120 for a t-shirt anymore. I think it's been a while that they've been a little more accessible, but yeah, I would agree. This is kind of just the ah
01:03:32
Speaker
the end of it. Guys, not not now our president almost got assassinated. Okay, just give it like a week or so.
01:03:41
Speaker
Give it a week before we start making jokes, guys. Come on. did You seem show up at the RNC with like a fucking maxi pad on his ear. He was snoozing. He was just falling asleep during the whole thing. That's probably an opiates.
01:03:58
Speaker
That'd be so funny. You just get addicted to opiates. I forget it's shot in the ear. I think you had to wear it because when when it's eventually all healed up, you'll have to be like, yeah, I had the greatest plastic surgeons who completely fixed my ear because it's going to look like nothing. I think you had to like kind of have it up. Oh, definitely.
01:04:21
Speaker
Very much blood, very much bleeding.
01:04:26
Speaker
Wow. It did look like Jeremy fragrance, like to typed up his tweet that he had afterwards where he was talking in gibberish. Much bleeding. Wow. I'm good. The beautiful secret service saved my year.
01:04:49
Speaker
They were all fired after, but it's fine. I think he has to say nice things about him, right? Because they're still protecting him either one way or another. They have his life in their hands every day. Literally. Can't fuck around with that. Very much blood.
01:05:20
Speaker
What do you guys have? What's for breakfast tomorrow morning, Paul? what are you What are you grabbing at four in the morning? Probably some Dunkin'. Just a raw steak. Yeah, I think I'm gonna get some Dunkin' in the morning too.
01:05:37
Speaker
Sorry, I was already just thinking about that. I was like, I'm gonna go have to get a blueberry muffin too. addict Addicted to him. The Dunkin' Blueberry muffins are too crunchy, too much sugar on top. That's that's where Starbucks difference is. They push the push it out to another level. They don't have the crunchy sugar on top. Yeah, you don't need that shit. That shit is just way too crunchy.
01:06:06
Speaker
Way too crunchy. Too crunchy. Boom!
01:06:13
Speaker
a
01:06:19
Speaker
Oh, man, I know what this episode is going to be named. Oh, hey, Big Justice.
01:06:33
Speaker
Hey, Daddy, this Costco chicken bake is a Jesus Christ. Jesus Christmas.
01:06:46
Speaker
chicken bakes suck we're Costco guys boom I can't believe neither of them get fucking like they don't get a hot dog or anything that's just the chicken bacon the double chocolate chunk cookie that's crazy yeah that's an insane Costco order pizza or hot dog those are your actual choices mm-hmm they Maybe a churro. If you're like feeling crazy, get a churro. I always go hot dog. Is it a boiled hot dog? Probably. Yeah, definitely. They don't have a model roller?
01:07:30
Speaker
I don't think so. That's disrespectful. They're usually in the steamer. They're like already put together in the steamer. Yeah. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Jesus Christ. That way, when you get it, you go, boom.
01:07:54
Speaker
Oh, man. I still think my favorite Instagram guy right now is the Indian guy. What is it, just a mad, like an angry Indian guy? It's just, yeah I don't know if he's like making a acting page or something. I'm gonna give these trying to get gigs out of it, but it's just him doing different voices. I'm proud of him. Famous Ram. Shout out Famous Ram. I don't care, dude.
01:08:29
Speaker
interfere I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.
01:08:43
Speaker
If you are at the uptick, you must show me your boobs or not to be downstairs. Sometimes when he says things, I'll be like, I'll do like a punch and then I'd be like, punch, punch, punch. He said, I don't care. No, man. I do not have the whippets here, man. No, no, no, no, um no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What about our man, Live Life Jam, just making cookies on fucking being a total ice head? He had a terrible day today. I didn't even get to see it. I just saw that and it was just like, oh, God. It's the perfect job for him.
01:09:23
Speaker
Yeah, man, so, you know, I'm still applying for jobs, even though I work 18 hours a day at 7-11, they don't pay me. But yeah, dude, i mean post let me post all the different ah reasons at the start of David, how that creates into the universe. He did a Trump video. That was pretty good. hey What did he say?
01:09:52
Speaker
He's just, uh, no, go ahead. Just saying that we all have to support Trump now that he's been shot, dude. Yeah. What? He's a big Trump guy. He's made a few videos about Trump. One was about how his daughter has a hard time at school because she can't, uh, she has to focus on things like trans and can't just learn and be a kid. So that's why I got to vote for Trump. Jesus Christ.
01:10:23
Speaker
Low key base though. Now he is saying that because Trump got shot, we all have to support him. Hey, it is what it is. I mean, Biden could get shot too. Like if he wants to even the playing field, take a bullet, dude. Just have him hop on another bike. It'll be probably the same thing. It'll just be a bunch of secret service guys jumping on top of him. Yep. Oh no.
01:10:55
Speaker
shooters Down it's just a fucking mountain bike on a roof 150 yards away. It's a flight of stairs without a without a rail Running off of a roof a flight of stairs just animated running down a roof trying to get away get him Eight stairs running down a roof So I i saw this This, uh, it was probably about, you know, six or eight wooden stairs and a, and a very muted outfit climbing up the roof, trying to get to Mr. Biden. I saw him. I saw those stairs myself. They had jeans on as soon as those shots rang out, that those stairs were off that roof and running.
01:11:44
Speaker
Or you could come out and say, Hey, it wasn't my son. That was me actually. I'm addicted. I'm addicted to crack cocaine. and I don't have over. That would be so cool. he was just that Prostitute openly, a cocaine user. I'd vote for him. Listen to me, Jack.
01:12:11
Speaker
Well, alright guys, that's the podcast. I'll mix these together. Hope you guys enjoyed. Paul, do you give this episode a boom or a doom? I give this episode a boom!
01:12:31
Speaker
Alright, goodbye, subscribe, guys review, join the Patreon, join the Reddit, join the Discord. Goodbye. See you later.