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Little Happy 420
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Transcript
Introduction and National Prayer Day
00:00:11
Speaker
Happy National Prayer Day. Stay prayed up. God bless you. What's up, motherfuckers? Y'all need to stop being little bitches, standing inside like little pussies. At least 30 minutes a day, go outside, go do something. Enjoy the environment, you know?
00:00:28
Speaker
A bunch of Tweetybirds are chirping me in the comments section. I love it, which is why I came to the bird park before work so I could hear more of it to get absolutely fueled up.
Excitement Over a New Bird
00:00:40
Speaker
Yo, guess what? I got a bird. Oh! I got a bird. A little bit of inspiration for the fellas.
Costco Visit and Positive Vibes
00:00:54
Speaker
I just left Costco, man.
00:00:57
Speaker
And you know how it goes, man. They always love Jesse. They always love me. They love the smile. They love the vibes.
Conspiracy Theories and Mold People
00:01:06
Speaker
Apparently, all the ops were not taken out. They're running an underground facility to take me out. What you are witnessing here is the aftermath of a mole people infestation.
Rabbit vs. Winnie the Pooh Rant
00:01:27
Speaker
Oh, you thought this was a rabbit? They thought this was a rabbit? Oh, that's funny. That's fucking funny, bitch. It's fucking Winnie the fucking Pooh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck 4th of July.
Miami Beach House Memories
00:01:43
Speaker
Certainly not the first year we took it to the limit. And I was in Miami with my new beach house. Well, it was a couple minutes from the beach.
Morning Hike and Blue Belly Capture
00:02:08
Speaker
Hey everybody, I hope you're having a good Independence Day weekend. I just made my morning hike and I caught this blue belly.
00:02:23
Speaker
Who are you waiting for? My friend. Listen, we know you're here to see an 11 year old girl. She said she was 12.
Surreal Claims of Founding Xbox and Microsoft
00:02:32
Speaker
I'm the real and exact founder of Xbox and after I named Microsoft and I founded Microsoft with my own money, I named and I founded Xbox a division of Microsoft.
00:02:57
Speaker
Hey everybody!
Dudes R Us and Patreon Plea
00:03:01
Speaker
Welcome to Dudes R Us. We can't be stopped and we'll do anything for you. Please subscribe and join the Patreon so Jared does not die. Not unhappy about it because I'm sure it's been good for his
00:03:15
Speaker
career outside of wrestling, but it is a, it is a thing. You'd be like, you'd be like, why did I become the like retard wrestler? Retard gay. Like of all the wrestlers, why couldn't, why couldn't, why can't, uh, Seth Rollins be the retard wrestler? Who's that other guy?
00:03:44
Speaker
Henry Rollins. Henry Rollins of Black Flag. No, that guy sucks too. My war. You're one of them. You said that you're my friend. What other guy? Another retard guy? Roman Reigns. That's what I was thinking of. Roman Reigns would definitely not be the retard guy. He's too like,
00:04:13
Speaker
He's too serious. Finley? Fin? Finley? He's the one with the chalalie. Who's that? He's a wrestler. He's the size of a... Well, I don't know. This would have been mid-2000s. Oh, yeah. Never mind. He's a leprechaun. He'd come out with a chalalie.
00:04:42
Speaker
Do they even do that anymore? Do they have like gimmick wrestlers anymore? Or is it all just like? Just John Cena and The Rock. The Rock. There's no way he's still those WWE. He just came out for WrestleMania 40 or whatever the fuck it was. I thought he was, he was rumored to show up and then he didn't. He actually showed up. Damn. Good for him. Probably made a ton of money doing that.
00:05:11
Speaker
I think he's a part owner or something. That would make sense. I mean the rock for sure. Prime on prime candidate for being the retard guy and he's sophisticated, sophisticated retard though. No one's making a wish to see him. Sophisticated retired.
00:05:38
Speaker
Gucci's going to love this. I got him pegged as a WWE guy. It's a good, it's a good theory. I think it's a, I think it's a fair theory. Shout out Gucci. Shout out fries. You could probably take away word theory from that guy. He probably likes the, um, like the low res backyard wrestling. Hmm.
00:06:08
Speaker
Looks like he lives in a fucking low-res backyard wrestling scene. I was just about to say his backyard looks perfect for him. Looks like he builds his tables out back for exactly that reason. Yeah. Easily fall through him. Oh shit. I'm going to show up at his house. For everybody else, we have our captain of the Discord, Gucci.
00:06:39
Speaker
a favorite of ours who is absolutely running, running the jewels on the discord. He's the, he's the killer Mike and the white guy of running with the jewels. Right. And that's right. Shout out Gucci found out where he lives last night. So maybe I'll pop by, maybe I'll do the next one from there. We'll all pop in to do a live pod.
00:07:11
Speaker
Be a good time. What else has been going on 4th of July? That was a good time. You said you laid low. Me? Yeah. 4th of July itself. Yeah. I just kind of chilled with the fam. Nice. That's good time. Saturday was the, was the rager. Yeah. You dropped some LSD. Did a little bit of that.
00:07:42
Speaker
handful of shrooms. We've been doing this thing for like a few months now, maybe a couple months, sort of like a power hour where you can only drink from a little tiny shot glass size solo cup. But anytime your little tiny shot glass gets filled, you have to drink it. So you've got like, you know, four or five friends or whatever all drinking out of tiny shot glasses, but
00:08:08
Speaker
you don't get to say no. So you basically just end up a nonstop drinking shots of beer for, you know, four or five, six hours, however long until everyone runs out. And then, you know, people start putting tequila and then whatever else. So it was a good mix of things, good mix of, uh,
00:08:34
Speaker
Started the start of the night on the power hour game, then went swimming in the lake, lake swimming. Yeah. Bunch of shrooms. Yeah. Got back to have acid, barbecued, more drinking than it was like nine 30 lake fireworks. Pretty good lake fireworks for like a random ass lake in New Hampshire that like, I don't know, a few hundred people live around. I don't really know.
00:09:03
Speaker
Uh, decent firework, not even decent, good fireworks, like probably went on for like 40, 45 minutes. And like, I was like 20 feet away from them. Really good. I recommend it. And then I couldn't sleep somewhere between lingering effects of acid and doing shots of tequila and Celsius at midnight.
00:09:28
Speaker
By the time I, everyone was gone and we were all going to sleep at like three, three 30. I was just laying in bed. Like every time I closed my eyes, I was like, Nope, can't do that. That's too fucked up. Kept felt feeling like I was like falling out of bed while I was laying there. If I close my eyes. So hell yeah. Stayed up all night. Watched Paul. Paul knows this fell down a late night Instagram rabbit hole of, of like, um, gnomes. I can't really explain it.
00:09:57
Speaker
But there's there's a whole like going on as we speak. These aren't like, you know, three year old videos. These are reels that were from like yesterday of people who dress up as gnomes. They put like a sheet over them and they wear a pointy white hat and they carry like a fly swatter or like a fish tank net. And they go like
00:10:22
Speaker
into a like McDonald's and they like, you know, they're like crouched and they like hop behind the register and just like make noises or they go to the mall and I'll put some in on the Reddit. But it's actually also one to group chat so you can see it. But yeah, it's that's awesome.
00:10:45
Speaker
I found one and then I was like, Oh, that's kind of weird. Like there's, you know, there's like a whole genre of people who just do annoying things at fast food restaurants or the mall and legitimately probably watch two hours of recent gnome content in the like six hours I laid in bed, uh, trying to fall asleep until other people woke up and I could go and we could all go do stuff.
00:11:12
Speaker
Do they do anything behind the register? They don't get yelled at. No, they do. You like, you can see like the people working there, yell at them and stuff. Yo, what the, what the, yo, what the fuck? Yeah, those vibes. Get the fuck up out of here. Um, yeah, there's a whole, there's just fucking hours of content. If you're interested in gnome, gnome lore, um,
00:11:42
Speaker
You do know there's a dark website. You can just know people's houses. I don't even know what that means. Type in anybody's address on this dark web website. And then, uh, I think they like send, I think it starts with like one gnome and then like progressively they just keep putting gnomes on your house or inside of your house somehow. And then it just progressively gets worse. I like that.
00:12:13
Speaker
No game. I've tried to, I think we've talked about this before, but I've tried to figure out like what is the most annoying, like the least expensive, most annoying thing that you can have sent to somebody on Amazon. Like obviously if you wanted to be an asshole, you could get like the $12,000 collapsible house, but I don't want to spend that much. You can, you can spend like 90 bucks and get like, get like 30 cubic cubic yards of packaging peanuts.
00:12:44
Speaker
which is like just the fact that that, that many boxes shows up at your house is pretty annoying. Um, but that's not a bad one either. No, get somebody to gnomed up. Speaking of that. Yeah. I think I saw like a, um, human football in a wheelchair at Walmart today.
00:13:14
Speaker
Neil Smeed who is basically like I mean I felt bad. I wasn't gonna say well, I mean immediately when Me and the family drove by I was like, holy shit. That's a human football in a wheelchair I was like, you know what? That's that's on me. I shouldn't say that but Then this fucking guy was like recklessly driving at people in the fucking Walmart Inside the Walmart. Oh, yeah
00:13:43
Speaker
just doing U-turns, driving right back at him and stuff. So I mean, I understand that's on him. Yeah. Yeah. You got to figure God made him a football person because he was an asshole. Like, is it a chicken or the egg thing? Like, is he an asshole because he's a football person or is he a football person because he's an asshole? And I think that answered the question. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:06
Speaker
It's literally like a football with like a backwards hat on. It's just. Whipping around his jazzy scooter. It's a tight spiral coming off of that fucking jazzy scooter. Oh, man. He had a ton of shit, too. He's buying out the fucking store. Oh, man.
00:14:37
Speaker
What's it doing with all that stuff? July was cool. I don't know. Definitely just travel size of everything, probably. The mini Gator Aids, mini body armors. Yeah. Yeah, what'd you do for us? I went to that dope
00:14:53
Speaker
It was like a fucking crazy concert food truck thing with like thousands of people there unexpectedly. We sat, uh, this gray sat for the, uh, deep in the back of the concert. And, um, then the fireworks went off and we were front row for the fireworks. Cause you just turned around and it was probably the best fireworks I've ever seen. Hell yeah. I felt like I was on drugs watching them. It was so fucking sick. It's fucking going off.
00:15:24
Speaker
And then I don't know. Yeah. Just hit different was, uh, interesting watching all of the high school kids, probably maybe they were drinking and buzzing around. It was a good time. Yeah. High school kids. So gay though. They need to all sack up. They need to, they need to really get into some damage. How so elaborate? I don't know. You know, they need to, they need to be like falling over and like,
00:15:53
Speaker
pissing themselves on the ground drunk, not, Oh, they don't really get drunk anymore. Willingly able to stand around drunk. Yeah, that's pretty lame. Yeah, that shit's whack. I mean, if you're in like the, if you're in like a rural Georgia kid, nothing else to do. Yeah. You got to get just like obliterated drunk. I say, this is a pretty big town, you know? I mean, maybe not. It was like,
00:16:23
Speaker
30,000 people out there. Okay. Yeah. Either way, people fucking living in like 700 person towns out there. It's insane. God bless them. That's where my family lives. That's fucking awesome. Can of cherries.
00:16:43
Speaker
No, I'm not there anymore. West Springfield, Springfield, Massachusetts, 700 people live there now. They all, they all moved. They all died from fentanyl. Yeah. Population, population two years ago was 80, 89,700 people in the basketball. They all work at the basketball fame. What'd you do, Paul?
00:17:12
Speaker
Wet in one swimming for like three hours. Hell yeah. Just floated around. Hell yeah. Drinks of pina coladas that I made. Nice. Yeah, they were dangerous. I really snuck up on you. Dude, pina colada, strawberry daiquiri, like those types of drinks.
00:17:31
Speaker
Um, I don't know, man. They are, they are, they are that drink where you're just like, like you never order them outside of like those settings, but they will hide an infinite amount of room. Yep. It's amazing. Yep. I have that one. That's like 69%. I just drop a shot of that into it. I'll add two of them. That was enough. Oh,
00:18:00
Speaker
Then I just floated in the water. Hell yeah, bro. You watch any fireworks? Yeah, but by the time the fireworks happened, the mosquitoes came out. So I just went inside and laid down with the dog. I got distracted by, uh, like shiggers. Foot Locker.
00:18:25
Speaker
I just didn't even realize too fucked up to realize. And then like in the morning, my like feet and ankles are so itchy and they look like I don't even know how to describe it. I didn't get bad chicken pox as a kid. They look. They look like I have some fucking. Small pox or some shit. Man, those burn ends I got there was so fire.
00:18:51
Speaker
I had 40 bucks in cash. I lived like a king at that fucking event too. The burn ends. Burn ends are the best things I've ever had. The burn ends are tight. Never had them because they're always sold out. But I think this place just called them. They may just call them tips around here.
00:19:10
Speaker
God damn. Put them on a fucking stack of fries with some obviously a random piece of country white bread. My God. That shit was the, the bell of the ball. I'll tell you that. Yeah. Burnins are out of control. Jesus Christ. They're like 11 bucks for that whole plate was like, come on now. I could just shoot through any, any, any of those dude. Oh, so good.
00:19:38
Speaker
It was a good time, though. I didn't have any any funny notes, really. Surprisingly, there's. Everybody there was having a great time. No bombs went off, so. Overall, a decent success. It's fucked up to say at the Celtics parade, I was worried that there was going to there are some bombs that were going to go off. Oh, dude, I. I only because you're saying it, I mean, I could have
00:20:07
Speaker
I could have gone that day. Like I was technically working, but who would have called me out for it and like thought about it. I was like, I'm 30 minutes away and kind of wanted to go. But then, yeah, I mean, that thought crossed my mind just being like some fucked up shit that could go down and like, I don't need any of that. But yeah, both of your legs.
00:20:37
Speaker
Ideally Mosquito bites though wouldn't have mosquito bites true could have been half a football guy in Walmart Yeah, two footballs Yeah, that's what I meant
00:20:59
Speaker
Yeah, dude. I mean, if I were younger, like I went to like Red Sox shit and stuff when I was younger. Like if I were still in college or even like in my twenties, I think, you know, looking at those, like those videos of the dudes like jumping into the fountains and stuff, I was like, ah, but me in my thirties probably probably don't need to get into any of that anymore. Yeah.
00:21:23
Speaker
Bro legit was a fucking football. Hike! Hike! Sit! Sit! Sit! Hike! Hike! Sit! Hike! When he was being an asshole, he should have just been like, blue-darted too!
00:21:49
Speaker
It's like being an ass I might just look at this guy running over people Fucking can't even get the family-size cool ranch Doritos because it's bigger than him legit, dude Can you guys never fucking ever walked up a flight of stairs?
00:22:10
Speaker
Oh shit. He has no idea. He has no idea. He just used one of those dumb waiters. Like they have, uh, those, just those little like grocery elevators, the rich people have. Yeah. So it gets around. Laundry shoot down. Oh, it's actually sick though. Oh man. Oh, what else has happened in the world this past week? Dude, there's, um,
00:22:40
Speaker
I mean, we might as well, cause we've kind of followed the Karen Reed trial for a few, few episodes now, small ish development. No, but no, but yeah. So she's definitely guilty of no, but that was unequivocal. Um,
00:22:59
Speaker
Random out of fucking nowhere on Monday the defense Sends, uh, I don't know how this shit works sends a letter to the court or whatever basically being like a juror and two Associates of two two separate associates of two different jurors of one juror and two
00:23:26
Speaker
people who were friends of other jurors all came to the defense in the last like week being like we were unanimous on not guilty for counts one and three. So 12 out of 12 jurors agreed on not guilty of a second degree murder and not guilty of fleeing the scene of an accident. And they were only locked on or hung on
00:23:57
Speaker
DUI manslaughter or OUI manslaughter. And so they were like, we were, we should have, we weren't given the opportunity to deliver a partial verdict, but we were in agreement. And then the judge declared a mistrial before anyone could say like, we have a verdict on two of these counts and we're hung on one. So that was a whole fucking shit storm that went off on Monday.
00:24:21
Speaker
And they obviously just can't, there's no, you can't bring the jurors back. And I don't know, like you can't get everyone back into court that fast. So nothing's really happened. Other than the judge issued a, what would you call it? A order sealing the names of the jurors. Cause technically you in Massachusetts, you have the right to like do a FOIA request on the jurors after a certain amount of time.
00:24:52
Speaker
Um, and she did some thing that makes it so that like their names are impounded or whatever. Um, which I guess makes sense because now that they're like, now that there's like yet another fucked up kind of fishy thing with the trial, people are going to try to figure out who the jurors are. So that's weird, but no resolution to that yet. Um, or what that even means. I mean,
00:25:21
Speaker
I don't, I don't know enough about the law. If any of, if anyone who listens as a lawyer and wants to comment on the discord, what it means, let us know. But I'm like, it feels like if she was not guilty on those two things and they just never got a chance to say it, she should be acquitted on those two. And if they do retry, they can only retry in the DUI or the OUI manslaughter.
00:25:50
Speaker
Is it at the worst one besides murder though? Uh, yeah. I mean, that's the weird thing to think about is like, if you believed, if you didn't think they proved murder, then in order to believe, in order for
00:26:11
Speaker
I mean, they said it was more than one. They said it was evenly split. Six, six on six, six on when they did the first drop, six, six on O.U.I. manslaughter. And then they only ever made it to. Eight, four in favor of acquittal. Oh, that's so for holdouts, Dan. So if you believe that. Oh, and then you and then so if you were not guilty on
00:26:42
Speaker
fleeing the scene and not guilty on murder and hung on OUI manslaughter, then you'd have to believe that she unknowingly rammed into him. And that's how he died, which is crazy. You'd have to believe like all the bullshit testimony of like the fucking. Headlight.
00:27:09
Speaker
exploding into his arm and causing slashes and like, ignore all the data from his phone that show that he was like moving around, ignore that Jen McCabe searched how long to die in the cold. Ignore that Higgins guy like went to a competing and moved a bunch of cars around. Like all of that's just coincidences. Um, so that's wild, but
00:27:39
Speaker
You got to figure if this is what happened, even in retrial, it'll be either acquittal or another hung jury. So what did that one dude do? He moved all the cars around at the police station. I can't, I don't remember that. So he won when he was like shit faced. That's awesome. Just walked drove.
00:28:06
Speaker
his car, his personal vehicle to can PD and then like moved a bunch of cars around and like no one knows why. Like he doesn't have to say why or he was just like, Oh, I just wanted to get some work done before the weekend or like some cop bullshit organizing some cars. Like he's not on trial. So he doesn't really have to, but yeah, like just all the fishy fucking shit that happened.
00:28:38
Speaker
Okay. You'd have to believe that that was, but anyway, so yeah, I mean, maybe nothing. You could imagine the judge just coming back and saying, well, like, Hey, here's what would happen in this case. Like, okay, maybe I fucked up. Here's what would happen. We would, it would be declared a mistrial and that's what you, that's what we have a mistrial. So there is the remedy for this situation as a mistrial. And that's what you're getting.
00:29:05
Speaker
Um, but why would that guy move cars around? What's the, what's the point of that? Um, I think that was, no, I think that was his story was like, he, they were like, why did you go to Canton PD? And he was like, Oh, cause like I had to like move some cars around. Okay. Rather than like, I was going to like tamper with things or clean up or whatever, get some cleanup material, get some cleanup materials after I murdered a guy.
00:29:35
Speaker
I was getting a jump starting on a, on a case. Yeah. Yeah. Use some cop tools to, I don't know, delete some phone records or something. I like you just sipping on a Fanta, the quarter left of a Fanta. Yeah, dude. I got Chinese food. Yeah.
00:29:59
Speaker
They had usually a ginger ale with Chinese food. Okay. I usually do orange soda kind of Just feels like the right drink to have with Chinese food. But uh, well, I don't want to I don't want to coke or anything go just My sleep's been all fucked up because of a Saturday night. So I was like, I don't need any caffeine right now. Come on Give me an espresso, dude. Let's go. No, I know but I don't do that shit I don't do caffeine after like 2 o'clock
00:30:30
Speaker
We'll see. Espresso a high, a Heineken 0.0. Let's go. Yeah. Um, but the ha saw the Fanta and I was like, so yeah, went with the Fanta with the Chinese food was pretty dope. What'd you get crab rangoons and some, uh, some chicken, a little light order. Yeah. Some sweet and sour chickens, some crab rangoons and some, uh,
00:30:56
Speaker
Just some regular ass fried rice. Yeah. Simple order, but yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah, bro. Enough for lunch tomorrow too. Yeah. I decided that low main, chicken low main is the best side. Chicken low main is pretty dope. Better than fried rice, better than steamed rice.
00:31:19
Speaker
I usually get the Lomain at Panda Express when you can get the combo thing. The Lomain's better than the rice there. And the super vegetables or whatever they call them. Fuck that stuff. Just cabbage. You gotta heat it back up in the styrofoam tomorrow. I've seen people do that shit. Oh, I've done that a hundred times, dude. For somebody who's as worried as you are about like... Not anymore, back in the day. Back in the day, bro. I was gonna say I...
00:31:50
Speaker
Bare fryer is like the perfect thing for reheating Chinese food. Yeah. Now I got the stainless steel, bro. Teflon over 400 degrees. Teflon starts acting up on you. No, I know. Kills the birds in your house. Yeah. I put a whole Chinese container in when I just, you know, while I'm out and just blew the whole microwave up because it had those metal hinges on it. Oh yeah. You can microwave it with the paint, like the box it comes in.
00:32:19
Speaker
That's just cardboard with some kind of plastic coating, but I don't think the plastic and it melts. But the metal blows the fuck up, bro. Metal's not good for a microwave. Styrofoam. I've seen people do that. I've done that. People still do that shit. Well, this upcoming generation is just genuinely stupid. Like no one taught them anything. They're like, I'm going to use an air fryer in my bed.
00:32:50
Speaker
Genuinely, because I'm the worst. I don't like really know how to read. Yeah, they don't have an attention span because they were raised by like iPad, fucking cocoa melon. So fucking today you and I had a plumber come through to do a small job for me. My dude was chopping it up. He hasn't. He's a classic nasty plumber. He's like, but I'm, I'm uneducated,
00:33:19
Speaker
I'm like, I don't care, man. He's like, I made, I made like 180 grand last year doing this. I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ. Good for him. Chopping it up with this dude for two hours more than it took him to do the job. I was like, this guy fucking rules, dude.
00:33:37
Speaker
I kind of hate when people say that they're like, oh, I'm retarded, but I do a job, right? Like make sure that your house doesn't explode. Don't fucking tell me you're retarded before you're about to install like a gas line in my house. It's not hard, dude. That's a trade, though. That's being educated versus he's like saying it's like being like, I don't know when the fucking
00:33:58
Speaker
I don't know what Pangea was, but I'll fucking be able to do a whole PEX line in your house. No problem. You can do that shit. He just doesn't know that thulium is element 69. Yeah. All those jobs require math. They know a lot of math. Yeah. So he's not retarded.
00:34:17
Speaker
He's saying he's uneducated. Well, he's not, if he can do the math that he needs to do to do like electrical work or fucking plumbing. An electrician's a different trade. They do have to be kind of smart. You can read a measuring tape. You got plumbers. That's five eighths. Plumbers. The football guy at Walmart was probably a plumber. Plumbers take some skill.
00:34:45
Speaker
You can fuck up, you can fuck up something really easily. Most trades take education. All those dudes are just fucking salty. They're the same guys who are too dumb to fucking do anything else. But they're not actually that dumb. They're just like, Oh, I'm fucking I'm stupid. So I decided to be a tradesperson. They're ashamed that they were poor. Yeah, exactly. My family couldn't or my family or myself couldn't afford to send me to college. So
00:35:15
Speaker
I'm a trades person, but it's definitely because I'm dumb, not because I was bored. Yeah. I mean, there's definitely that stigma. If you were like, yeah, I graduated summa cum loud from Oxford and I'm a electrician, you'd be like, what dude? What? I don't know. I just, I hate that. Cause then I fucking work with a lot of those people and I'm like,
00:35:44
Speaker
You're just acting retarded. You're not actually dumb. I know you're not dumb. Like I watched you do things that a dumb person couldn't do, but now you're acting dumb. Yeah, but there's like different kinds of smart. It's like, if you know, you're not able to ever go to college and so why wouldn't like, what are you going to continue? If you know the aisle isn't there, why not just get started on a trade and say, fuck education.
00:36:08
Speaker
Yeah, but you're not saying fuck education because all your trades send you to school, dog. That's part of the deal. You take night courses. Yeah, I'm saying like going and going to like history class education, not like trade school. I have to take history class in college and high school. I mean, I get it, but it's like the same thing outside. I guess my argument is that like a trade is the same thing as education.
00:36:37
Speaker
because I studied biology. So I went in and I learned whatever, whatever they taught me about biology, right? But like a trades person goes in and learns whatever they need to learn about fucking plumbing or electrical work or whatever. You're just an apprentice and you're getting meant, you're getting paid for it is the difference. You're not getting paid to go to college. You're just either in debt or you have like a, luckily you have like a someone providing for you to go to college or you got a scholarship.
00:37:08
Speaker
You know what I mean? If you were a plumber for 10 years, you're already five years into the job and you were an apprentice for five years and then you're still educated. I guess that's, I mean, I'm not, I don't really, you're educating in the tree, but you're still educated. Yeah. I think it's like the attitude that like biology or chemistry or healthcare or finance are like considered smart career paths. So like you're not, you're not wrong. Like, uh,
00:37:34
Speaker
Fucking even like a carpenter is educated kind of But it's not considered like intelligent education like people who it's like you don't consider like a person who went to school for like Like art history like an intelligent person No, yeah, there's all these dudes building these
00:38:00
Speaker
800 house developments that aren't even from this country that are fucking literally can't even fucking read or write. And they're fucking just doing it because they would just know how to do it. They just always built a job. Yeah. Just been building shit since they were a kid. Yeah. That's all they fucking know. I don't know. I guess that's that's just odd. That's just fucking experience and working.
00:38:28
Speaker
And there is like a part of it that's like, yeah, fuck, fuck the book side of things. I'm just going to fucking do what I know how to do with my two hands here. I mean, for sure. If you're a cop, you're retarded. Yeah, that's you have to go to fucking Academy for that. You have to go to more school to be more retarded. That's a special kind of fucking
00:38:56
Speaker
unless you're a listener and you're a cop for some reason, but that's a special kind of stupid. Yep. I mean, I mean military. If they were ever to listen to this, you know that I love you, but the two dumbest people I know from high school are both cops. Like college dropouts, fucking like always in detention, dumbest kids.
00:39:27
Speaker
Now a state police officer and detective. Ooh. Detective is all right though. That's like, if you could get right in as a detective, that'd be kind of cool. I mean, was a cop for a long time and is now a detective. Yeah. That's part sucks. I mean, you're basically working. You're either a city worker or a state worker at that point when you're a cop, right? Yeah. Most of the time you're like where you are fucking from being a cop.
00:39:58
Speaker
I guess that'd be difficult to be somewhere, like, transferring to another state to be a cop would be difficult. You think so? I don't know, right? Don't you need to be familiar with the land? Feels like one of those things you'd show up and you'd be like, yeah, I was a cop in Massachusetts and they'd be like, welcome, brother. Oh, yeah. I'm just saying the learning curve might be different. I don't know. You got to like figure out all the fucking
00:40:27
Speaker
what's going on on the, on the streets there. Yeah, I guess if you want to like learn, you know, like damn back mass, they were mad sleepy. All the drug addicts. These ones are all like high sprung over here. These ones are all stealing off copper everywhere. They got energy. They got real energy in them. Just gotta, just gotta, you know, work the beat for awhile and then you learn. Yeah, exactly.
00:40:58
Speaker
You find your live love jams? Yeah That guy's full fucking off the off the whack juice, dude. Oh, yeah Haven't looked at his videos. He posted the worst 4th of July party I've ever seen in my life. Oh god Describe it
00:41:20
Speaker
It was all those like shitty cookies in the, like with the paste on them. And I think there was, he showed one 750 mil bottle of Tito's on the table. Then there was like one of those pre-made sandwich platters on the table and fucking chips. Whenever you see chips on the table, that's like the small bags.
00:41:50
Speaker
That was really it. I'm not hating, but it was somewhere I would never want to be in my life. And they were playing that big beer pong cup game on the ground. I just saw that. He's not allowed to drink. I don't know if you think he was just showing the flex. There was like 20 people in his apartment complex, maybe.
00:42:14
Speaker
out there doing it. Maybe it wasn't even his. There's no way he provided any of that. Yeah. Potluck. They brought up sandwich platter, some grade school size bags of chips, half drank bottle of Tito's. Yeah. Nothing else. I was, I mean, Hey, it's name brand. It's Tito's. I was expecting to see something far worse than that. Can of Fresca.
00:42:41
Speaker
I got to look back at this. Definitely a can of Fresca warm. What's up guys? I'm, I'm here. We're having a, we're just having a 4th of July party. Uh, we're just here for like the good vibes straight up.
00:43:08
Speaker
It's straight up. All right, there's a yellow bottle, there's a pineapple Fanta, there's watermelon, there's those cookies, the sandwich platter, and then one of those pre-made ham and cheese and cracker boards. And there's ice cream just sitting out on the table in the California weather. No one else has touched anything, the ice cream's still out there. Two cranberry juices, one pack of burger buns.
00:43:38
Speaker
That's it. No, you have they've hummus hummus. But that's it. They have one of those fruit platters. Jesus Christ. All right. Tito's one shot glass quarter bottle of water next to it. Two giant bottles of cranberry juice is the most that's what they probably spent all their money on on this thing. Yeah, that's happy fourth.
00:44:08
Speaker
Jesus Christ, this is insane what's going on at this apartment complex. He's live right now. He's just a restroom door must be 7-eleven restroom. Is he live straight out? He's coming out of the bathroom.
00:44:33
Speaker
I've been fucking up. So if I fuck up on camera, it's not because I'm on camera. It's just because I've been fucking up. Okay. Oh, Danny, is it work right now? Yeah. He's live. So you just came out of the bathroom. He wouldn't want him doing that double charge somebody on chips. So he's, he's frazzled.
00:45:14
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I doubt they want them doing that, right? He's lost all of the charisma at this job already. I mean, he's also a San Diego 7-11 employee. They probably do want to give a fuck. There's so many people. That's a thriving 7-11 that he's at.
00:45:33
Speaker
you see me starting to suppose to post those conspiracies of like the, uh, the, um, founding fathers and stuff. But he did. Yeah. No. What did he say? He was just a one of the, actually he's reposting somebody else's video. Like, did you know there was a different constitution that they weren't showing you? Did you know that one times one is actually equal to two?
00:46:00
Speaker
I'm tired of being aware of all my problems and doing nothing about it. Things are going to change. All right. Hell yeah. He's fucking going to literally blow that store down soon.
00:46:16
Speaker
their shift and I started work at 6 a.m. today. I was supposed to get off at 3. They asked me to work an extra hour overtime. Someone was supposed to be late but come to find out they're not coming to work. So, they asked me to work a whole another 8 hour shift. So, that'll be 9 hours overtime or overtime baby. I'm working 16 hours straight today. So, you know, I'm gonna be getting I'm gonna be getting a good
00:46:55
Speaker
Yeah, right, dude. What a fucking idiot, dude. That dude's just always complaining about working fucking like the worst employee ever to have to deal with.
00:47:12
Speaker
California's gonna take all of that overtime money on your taxes, my man. I'm not trying to be fucked up, but this poor guy, dude. Jesus.
00:47:29
Speaker
Guys, I just saw my paycheck and you know, if you remember that day where I worked that 16 hour shift because they asked me to come in, uh, stay an hour late because somebody was coming late and then they didn't come in. And so I worked that 16 hour shift and I just saw my paycheck and, and they taxed like all that money.
00:47:51
Speaker
And I just think if we were being honest about the founding fathers and the other and the shadow constitution, like this tax, this taxing is I just don't it. You know what I'm saying? It's not right. I fire that dude immediately if I was his boss. I think I'm not dealing with this shit.
00:48:16
Speaker
I can't have you here anymore, Jesse, but you're also scared that he's going to come gun you down. Oh, yeah, you can't. You got to let that guy just disappear. Find somebody like hire somebody to work there who can subtly get him back on meth. Yeah, he needs to get on fucking the downers. This guy doesn't need.
00:48:42
Speaker
This guy can't go up any further. He's at the ceiling of the world. I can't believe he just props the camera up on live while he's taking a piss in the bathroom. I'm working 16 hours today, bro. God, I kind of feel bad for him. They're like, hey, could you stay another hour? Can you stay seven more hours, actually?
00:49:11
Speaker
Yeah, I don't feel bad for him, to be honest with you. He's gotten sucked into every Ponzi scheme and now a shitty fucking... the worst job ever. That's on him. Oh, man. That poor dude. That guy... See, that guy is actually dumb.
00:49:42
Speaker
Yeah, he's like severely, severely retarded. He probably was like huffing spray paint for awhile. He kind of like, he wasn't born looking like that. No, his head gets shaped differently. He looks like somebody dehydrated his face. I know.
00:50:07
Speaker
Like something happened. Some, something that caused his skin to like cling to his skull. Like, like a melting wax. He clearly is something going on with his head. I mean, his cheekbones are like poking through his skin. He has no teeth. Yeah. All false teeth. I forgot about that. Completely has teeth falling out. Yeah.
00:50:36
Speaker
Completely shitty teeth. He's fucked Good luck, bud. Yeah, we're rooting for you, man. Yeah, we're clearly rooting for you You'll be fine he'll be fine he's fine. He'll be fine He's fine Throwback to like one of our first episodes. Uh
00:51:02
Speaker
Chris Red, the black guy from SNL that isn't Keenan. Is hosting a reboot of Pimp My Ride. Oh, shit. Called Called Resurrected Rides. Damn. On Netflix, premiering July 24th.
00:51:32
Speaker
So just him having the Kia boys return cars one after the other to the rifle owner. Probably. Yeah. This was your car and shit, but we're going to get it back for you from the Kia boys today. They're all wearing like these, uh, these scullies and ski masks and shit, but they, they got it back for you. Hmm.
00:52:00
Speaker
I was just watching those Kia boys. What's Chris Redd going to do though? Is it's on Netflix. So it's going to be a one season and done. Yeah. I think it's like just continuing the trend of, uh, SNL people having their own show. So like Mikey day got that cake show and now Chris Redd gets a pit, my ride reboot where they just do, I don't know. He's just a host.
00:52:27
Speaker
People forget Mikey day was the star on wild and out back in the day. Was he? Yeah. And then he just became the worst person ever. But so are they, they must, they have to actually fix the cars this time instead of like fake doing accessories and stuff. You'd think that people would probably catch on immediately if, uh, if they were shitty.
00:52:58
Speaker
Yeah, you want you want to hope that they like learn some lessons from the past, I guess, and be like, all right, let's like make these cars that people can actually drive and like improve their lives and not something where they are like, fuck, now I have to sell this because like I can't afford the taxes on it. Or it looks just or it's just walking or like it's just asking to be stolen or fucked with. Please fix my transmission on this.
00:53:29
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. I didn't read anything beyond that. I just thought I was like, I don't know. What was it like episode two or something we were talking about? Uh, what our fucking theme would be if we were on pin my ride or something. That is a throwback. It was not what I was expecting. Yeah.
00:53:58
Speaker
Oh man, he's not having a fun time. He's bumping angry rap music behind the counter. Nobody wants that, dude. You're freaking out the customers. This is the busiest 7-Eleven in the world.
00:54:30
Speaker
Uh, yeah, he's done. Everybody's saying he's going to get fired on, on, uh, next week for live streaming people's credit cards. I mean, you're definitely not allowed to do that.
00:54:55
Speaker
Just get him a Twitch dude. Give him $2 million. See what it does with it. See how quickly he spends it over. Yeah. Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast should just do that. Oh my God. What's up with that guy? That fucking guy literally gets like 2 billion hits on YouTube. Yeah, dude. He's Mr. Beast. I don't get it. I don't get it either. Expose him. There's nothing to expose. Expose that man.
00:55:23
Speaker
He's like very upfront that he does things and he knows that they're not perfect, but that they're better than nothing. No, I know. Expose, expose them, dude. He has maybe figure out what prostitutes he uses and expose them for that. Got to figure somebody's tried to blackmail him already. Oh yeah. Of course. I think he's even, he, he had the, uh, Mr. Beast burger or whatever. Yeah. I think he opened a burger restaurant.
00:55:53
Speaker
And he just did it through like a third party company, like those ghost kitchens that came up during COVID where you just, uh, you know, there's like companies that'll do that for you where you're like, I want a chicken wing restaurant. And then they'll just like take care of all the rest of it. And so he did it through one of those companies and they just made like shitty burgers and people were complaining about it. So he's suing them for like,
00:56:16
Speaker
ruining his burger reputation. He's just suing normal people for billions of dollars. Yeah. Just some like random Chinese company that, you know, what did you think you were, you thought you were going to get like gourmet cheeseburgers from this gas station company that was like, we'll open your store in mall. Not even it's a other side of a shell station. It's like those restaurants.
00:56:43
Speaker
I think I remember seeing one in Florida. It was literally half of the gas station. Was it a Mr. Beast burger? Yeah, that's fucking nuts. Yeah. All those ghost kitchens fucking suck. And it's crazy that that celebrity still promote them. Yeah. Fucking soulless. I mean, it's a whole like a thing I didn't realize entirely, but then I was at a, uh, I was at,
00:57:14
Speaker
I want to say it was the Raleigh airport and they had this thing where you could order from any restaurant in the airport. What? And it would like to go from any restaurant in the airport and it would, and then there, you would get this notification to come to go to a certain locker and you're like, meal would be in the locker. Um, so you could get like payway. You could get TGI Fridays. You can stop. Yeah.
00:57:45
Speaker
Um, and I was like, Oh, I like, I had an epiphany at that moment. I was like, they don't, there's not like different restaurants here. There's just one kitchen in the back and like a bunch of like Asian or Mexican people who are taught how to make six dishes from each of these restaurants. And that's, they just do all of it back there. And if you can do that, you can do a fucking ghost kitchen.
00:58:14
Speaker
call that point, you know, just have one building that, you know, could have 30 different restaurants as a, as it's a dress and they just make what fucking, whatever chicken sandwiches. Sure. Sure. That's a good point. It's like a Chili's line line gets in the back and they'd make literally 89 things. Yeah. But I got a payway, something payway, chicken, orange chicken or whatever. And it was,
00:58:44
Speaker
It was orange chicken. It was how big of an airport is it for that shit? Is it a big airport? That's like the nicest thing that you could ever have in an airport. Um, I don't know. It's big airport. I don't remember. That's really nice. It was great though. I mean, yeah, it was like, instead of having, instead of it being Logan where there's like six restaurants in your terminal and they're all closed. Yep.
00:59:11
Speaker
And that or there's like a fucking huge line for like pot belly sandwiches and you're like, I don't even want that. Yes. So you end up having to go to like whatever the cooler is that has like a you're like, yeah, why does this Japanese restaurant have turkey sandwiches in the cooler? But like, I guess that's what I'm getting in a wrap and it sucks. Yeah, you can instead of that experience, there's no restaurants. There's just this. And bars.
00:59:39
Speaker
and you can just get anything you want from it. That's genius. It's kind of cool. It wasn't bad. It solves so much waiting in line bullshit at fucking airports for food. And you just get a text message. So like I put the order into my phone, uh, waited 20 minutes and then I got a text message like your order's ready in locker 13 and then you just open it up and there's your shit. Hell yeah. Should be a Postmates guy just coming out of nowhere. Right? Yeah, that'd be cool. They could just find you.
01:00:11
Speaker
I'd pay for that. It's not a bad idea. That's fucking amazing. Solves a lot of issues. Couldn't get a Mr. Beast burger though. Wouldn't. I don't think I would have. So that's a positive go. We ended up on a positive ghost kitchen story then. Yeah, I guess so.
01:00:39
Speaker
Unexpectedly positive ghost kitchen story. Did you walk in? They get the Chinese food tonight. Yeah, I went in. Yeah. It's right across the street from my house. Did you tip? Yeah, I do. Okay. How are you? I know it's, I know a lot of people feel, I don't, I don't, I don't care either way. And I know a lot of people think it's dumb to tip for takeout, but I usually give them three bucks. You know, that's my tip.
01:01:09
Speaker
I'm like paying it forward or whatever if calm is real. Yep. What are you hitting them with? Four bucks? Five bucks? I think I gave six dollars. Nice. Dude, that's way too much. You gotta walk in and say, here's a tip. Don't take wooden nickels. Don't go out in a storm without an umbrella. Yeah. Yeah. That's just a thing. I'm sure that.
01:01:41
Speaker
they're not making, uh, they're not ripping me off or anything. And it's like, anytime it's like a place that you go a lot, I feel like you're doing yourself a favor by being like, Oh, that's the guy who like, uh, like the barbershop I go to, I tip pretty well. And like, at this point now that like, if I walk in and, and somebody else is in the chair, like they will fucking wrap that guy's haircut up real quick.
01:02:11
Speaker
And then I'll get like a 45 minute cut that's like perfect, like making sure the fades like real good and everything. Do my beard for free, you know, for free because they're just like, that's the homie.
01:02:23
Speaker
That is gay man. That's the gay man. We do, we do very good job. Many, many boyfriends, many customers. They come in. There you go. You're ending it on a positive. Yeah.
01:02:57
Speaker
They get it. They use a whole different set of clippers on your hair. Yeah. They put me in the gay chair. Yeah. Oh no, this chair is for, this chair is good for you, man. This chair has good cushion for your bottom. Oh my God. You asked for it, dude.
01:03:22
Speaker
By the way, you haven't gotten a haircut in a little bit. I've got I got this is this I'm on a week and a half. I get a haircut every two every other week. Jesus. Fuck off. It's not my fault, dude. You got to cut it. You got to cut it like grass, cut it the other way now. What do you mean? Got to cut it one way. You cut it going one direction this week and then other direction that week.
01:03:51
Speaker
then it won't grow in as fast, you know? Oh, no, I don't care. Let me see the sides, dude. Okay, I guess that looks a little bit more. That looks a little fresher. Yeah, right. It still grows way too quick. It's just my hair, dude. I can't do anything about that. You get a zero fade. It's good for like three days. Yeah, I know.
01:04:23
Speaker
when you get it July 3rd, day before, always a Saturday. Okay. So it would have been the 29th day before holiday is always holiday week. No, I think, I think they were open, but like, that feels like, yeah. Nobody wants to work that week. Yeah. Nothing is going on.
01:04:52
Speaker
Work was, uh, work was a joke last week. Nothing was going on. People email me Friday and I'm like, fuck off. I'm not doing, I'm not answering this. Who the fuck's doing that on a Friday after fourth of July? Right. I was like, I didn't, I didn't take today off and I'm not answering you. Yeah. Get a fucking life. Yeah. Right, buddy.
01:05:21
Speaker
Get out of here. Out of it. That's a fucking joke. Well, all right. That's the regular. Join the Patreon. Subscribe and review. Join us on Reddit. Join the Discord. Follow Gnome Instagram. Follow the Gnome Instagram.
01:05:52
Speaker
Goodbye.
01:06:20
Speaker
You can call me Gold Mountain, that's what I said Hey baby, you gon' eat your cone bread
01:06:43
Speaker
When you got mega junk in that trunk I have bees, only dick, booty, gals that are stouter Then the coochie hold, let him know I'm about her Damn me a ticket, can she kick it while I doubt her I ain't bein' mean, but her pocket's on a drought her Sippin' on this lean, got my dick with some counter You can get sprung off of this
01:07:29
Speaker
what she said in the shower already hit the booty hole for an hour what you doing girl with all that
01:07:34
Speaker
Ring around the rosy, pocket full of posy Mind full of numbers, make these bitches wonder Let's go smoke an ounce up, maybe tear the house up Rip on her ass, cause this lance gotta beep, but She can make it touch ground, she can make it bounce round She can pack it up, make the killing in another town Shake, jump starin', I don't mean no harmin' Call me Mr. Ripper, cause I wanna squeak the shaman
01:08:09
Speaker
My dick take a sippo Down about a bin so a cheese don't a flippo At the hotel with a them like a cripple Pretty light eyes and a smile had a dimple Make a twat pot like a bus on a pimple What you doin' girl with all that? What's all that poppin' from the back? What you got doin' over there? What's all that make the stoppin' stack? What you doin' girl with all that?
01:08:46
Speaker
Use a bad young bang, baby, with your man Make your n****s hear his turn like, God damn I'ma ask for your name, you been blessed for show Smelling better than a tightrope optimal I'ma have to know how your garden grow Also, you can holler back after the show Got something poking out of this show and dress You know just what you're doing, girl, and you a mess
01:09:19
Speaker
She spray all night, you can make it clap She can be one of those bisexuals That love to engage in menagee twas Stand down with a man when behind the bars Catching me with the dope, then she take the charge What you doing girl with all that? What's all that poking from the back?