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00:00:01
GUCCI PLEASE COME BACK
80 Plays3 months ago
Please return home Gucci we love you
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New episodes & Patreon episodes weekly, soon to come more content
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Transcript
Introduction and Personal Anecdotes
00:00:06
Speaker
Happy National Prayer Day. Stay prayed up. God bless you.
00:00:16
Speaker
hamburger we The hardest shrug I'm on is two milligrams of Ativan and it knocks me out like I'm a little baby, okay?
Societal Issues and Taboo Topics
00:00:36
Speaker
Josh, you've said the M word a couple of times, right? I was just drunk and hamming a meltdown. That's all. But you're not racist. You just feel like it comes out sometimes. I slip up sometimes. I crushed. You crushed? Why are you coming first? Why are you fucking coming first?
00:01:01
Speaker
Is it hella to play PlayStation 5? Yes it is, as long as it does not involve something which it's worth it in. And I have a lecture.
00:01:11
Speaker
I see that in these days most of the men are can weaker ah coming are coming pussies and lazy, are coming addicted to drugs, addicted to porn, addicted to chocolate the chicken, and all that fucking weird shit. You have to be a man and wake up every fucking single day. It's a fight against you. It's a fight against you and your mind.
00:01:36
Speaker
Hi there. In a few hours I'll be checking out of my hotel, having one last lunch at Kooters before I return to Burlington.
00:01:49
Speaker
I have often wondered how it was decided or who made the decision to to use the word penetration.
00:02:04
Speaker
Hey, everybody.
Podcast and Community Engagement
00:02:05
Speaker
Welcome to Dudes R Us. We can't be stopped and we'll do anything for you. Please subscribe and join the Patreon so Jared does not die. Oh. Oh. We're live. Yeah. If you leave the discord, you don't get to come back. That's so mean. I'm banning you if you come back. Oh my God. Gucci, please come back to the disc. Please come back. Nope. I'm banning you. I want to talk about, ah or if you got banned from the discord. Yeah. You got to come. I mean, if you got to come on Reddit and tell us what happened. Well, you don't have to tell us what happened, but you can come back if you want to.
00:02:48
Speaker
If he's on Reddit, I don't know. I doubt he listens to this stuff. He left the disc. How do you find our discord if he wasn't on Reddit? I don't know. That's a good question. Maybe the tick tock ad. Patrick C, you better step up, bro. You got a lot on your fucking shoulders now. Or else you're banned. yeah Just ban all of our fans. Yeah, everybody's banned. All of our fans. We're going to lash out at you and then ban you. they're Just going to spend three weeks being assholes.
00:03:24
Speaker
If you, if you join as a fan, we're going to just be, we're going to lash out at you for three weeks, but it's all part of it.
Online Privacy and Social Media Engagement
00:03:33
Speaker
like initiation yes it's initi It's like It's like, um, yeah. Yeah. It's all, we're healthy. We're healthy people that we communicate with each other.
00:03:46
Speaker
Never said anything nice to anyone in any fucking, uh, anybody's addresses. That's a fan anymore either.
00:03:57
Speaker
i thought That was, I thought that was being a friend. I mean, it's 2024. If you, if you share pictures of your like face and house and yard. I'm going to find something. Dude. We had a geo guesser world champion on the pod on our like fourth episode. That stuff's real. Yeah. We got to get them back, dude. i got us I saw him on ah on Reddit on r slash who is this guy who's riding the tee. No. ah He had a basketball in between his legs. Yeah, that could be him. He had a loose shaker in his in his side pocket of his jacket. That that would definitely be him.
00:04:48
Speaker
r slash who is this r slash cigarettes if he comes back on this podcast i'm banning him yeah he's he's getting fucking banned too just invite him back and then mute his audio the whole time oh my god
00:05:06
Speaker
I just keep going on to, uh, different serious redics and just being like, yeah, I'm gay tomorrow. I'm gay. know No one likes it. I don't know about that bit.
00:05:22
Speaker
Oh man. Christians with cancer r slash Christmas. Hey guys, I'm gay. Damn. That sucks. I'm mad gay. That's crazy. ah I'm an F1 driver. Fucking losers. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. yeah yeah you What's been going on in life last week was a big week. ah What happened last week?
00:05:58
Speaker
We were off on, uh, on vacation. yeah dude dudes Actually so much. I was thinking about that when I was like my designated hour of of thinking about this podcast and what to talk about. A lot has happened, I think. I don't think Kamala was officially the, the, I don't think Joe had ah dropped out when we last talked. Yeah. Kamala. And, and since then that happened, which is its own thing. The fucking Olympics. Yep. Uh, like a stuff. Second or third. Patreon episode. Listen about it's a, I did Kamala Harris for our com.
00:06:38
Speaker
Kamala what's the right then they do a jamala um I don't know I think I did like 20 minutes of Kamala Harris Towards the back end of episode. Yeah, we look for Kamala merch on Timu Timu. Yep, and now she has a VP that guy from um Minnesota seems like a silly guy minnesota guy seems He's got a he's got like He's got like, I don't know, funny dad, like your friend's funny dad. Yeah. yeah Rodney Dangerfield, funny dad energy. Exactly. Oh, I hated it. How how was everything?
00:07:22
Speaker
ah Terrible. We hated it. I hated it. You can tell. Just flirting with the 16 year old waitress. Oh my God.
00:07:33
Speaker
Yeah. So that ah happened. The astronauts are still stuck in space. I was thinking about them the other day. um So Elon did swoop in and was like, hey, I'll i'll send one of my rockets up to get them, which is great. And then, uh, I think it was today or yesterday, NASA was like, it's not going to be ready. It's not going to be ready till at least September 24th. And like, when you say at least that means you're kind of lying. Like if you're saying like September 21st at the earliest, that means like mid-October.
Food Discussions and Preferences
00:08:11
Speaker
Uh, I can't remember how long ago we talked about it. Probably the,
00:08:17
Speaker
One of the second week in June, we were talking about how there's like a couple astronauts on the International Space Station that were supposed to only be there for like six days because they were just doing a like basically like a expensive advertisement for Boeing because they went up there on like a Boeing rocket and it was the first time NASA did like a private public like not one that NASA made manned mission to space kind of thing. And then their pod that's supposed to take them home, like broke, like won't, isn't like airtight anymore and like a bunch of shit. So they're stuck there. And then they thought they could fix it and they can't. And they were only supposed to be there for six days and now they've been there for like 60 days. And then they're like, yeah, end of September at the earliest. So like, you also know you're going to be there for another month, like continuing to like poop in your tube.
00:09:15
Speaker
I thought they had the space station though, isn't that like a hotel? I don't know. Well, I don't know. Aren't they like decommissioning the international space station like a year? They probably have a bunch of MREs up there, right? I don't know.
00:09:35
Speaker
Yeah, I guess maybe you get to eat like taco meat out of a bag out of like one of those little kid applesauce squeezes. Yeah. i've been I was ah on a real stream last night of this guy's page that's just in prison that just shows his meal every day. No. just I scrolled probably 4,000 of them every day. Yeah, it's me, Ramen. Man Tito here. See what we got on the tray today. All right, little pancakes, grits, tube sausages. All right, y'all have a blessed one. Thank you for every day. Thankful for every single day and every moment I wake up.
00:10:19
Speaker
Yeah, it's your man Tito here see what's on the tray today Got a little pizza today little pizza green beans Little corn. All right, man. Thankful for every day. Thank for every moment. I got That's pretty much it every single video day. So they let prisoners have bro. He's got a media accounts now. I mean, the phones Oh aren't allowed, but he's like showing a prison like Cribs. He's like, oh, I got my TV. The TV has like a towel over for some reason. I don't know why. It's like a thing. So I got to keep that TV cool.
00:11:02
Speaker
um ah been in prison You you have you get some weird superstitions He's like here's a tablet they give us and they give like a Kindle to each of them He's like you play like games and shit and order stuff on it. I'm like hell. Yeah, dude I guess that keeps them like if you can played candy crush instead of oh, yeah about stabbing each other and Those are all the guys that's on um the Clash of Clans. They're all in prison probably. yeah yeah They're all finishing out strong. I guess that makes sense.
00:11:38
Speaker
Yeah. And then, uh, his commissary is pretty stacked. He has like 45 Dr. Peppers. Dude, do they get a mini fridge? Do they have to drink? Everything's warm. Everything's always warm. Honestly, that's so that's, that's the worst part of prison. Yeah. warm The way warm soda makes your teeth feel. I remember this not it was like, yeah, when you have like a in and prison is when you can get ice from like ice works downstairs. Like, yeah. but yeah he's got he's like obviously like usually no he said no he posted like there's like some beef that comes in a bag but
00:12:16
Speaker
90% of the time, they all all like ah tuna dishes because it comes in a bag. Some people do like crazy tuna ramen and shit like that. And he made ah oh i know burritos the other day. If I round up in prison, I'm not going to make it. the I would fucking kill myself if I had to do that. Bro, these guys eat like 40,000 milligrams of sodium every single day with all the commissary. they I would just try to eat so much tuna that I got mercury poisoning. I was probably like eight months deep on scrolling through his videos and he's like yo check out these new ones like obviously they're way behind and he showed a video of him eating Takis. He's like damn these are good. I'm like hell yeah dude. He just got put off. He's just made it to prison.
00:13:10
Speaker
That shit would da that would be that buys you another year of just eating Takis like damn these shits are good. yeah Who invented this? I've been thinking after I saw that video today, I was like about to grab some Takis and I'm like. Nah, dude, I can't eat those. I feel like I'll have an allergic reaction to those fucking things. there they' They're covered in just red stuff. Or the blue ones that are like, yeah, electric blue. Extremely spicy. But it's not even that they're spicy. Like, I don't mind the spicy. It's the blue. How is it? Nothing food is that blue. Or blueberries. Yeah, blueberries, dude. Never heard of them.
00:13:56
Speaker
absolutely absolutely Blueberry pancakes ever heard of them Blueberry pie ever heard of it ever heard of it. That's blue name something else is blue Sky blueberry airheads ever heard of them. Those are his hell blueberry cop tarts, i but they have those in the commissary. Blueberry mystery flavor. It's white, but it's taste blue. Yeah, they got that. They got a lot of those. They got cop tarts in that bitch. They got 800 Dr. Peppers in there, too. Dr. Peppers making a like having a moment. I think it's the second most popular soda now. It's a minty dough here. It's not going to want Pepsi.
00:14:47
Speaker
Pepsi, you know, it's not Pepsi. All loves Pepsi. It's OK to like Pepsi, but you know that it's not like good. Well, that's good. It's a bit Tito here showing another tray. To be honest with you, Dr. Pibb, better than Dr. Pepper. There's no such thing as Dr. Pibb. There is. Yeah, there is. another Mr. Pibb. Mr. Pibb never got his medical degree. Pibb extra better than Dr. Pepper.
00:15:21
Speaker
No, no, no one could even get that if they wanted to. Where would you even find Chipotle on tap? Mr. Pip. I do have that. Oh, Paul, guess what? I'm going to become a big Y shopper in the next couple of weeks here. Good. You should. Yeah. What do you think of it? It seems like a pretty good. It's really good. It seems like the only place I go. It's not Publix, but like it's enough like Publix. that You I noticed it's a little darker in there little dark like ye There's no ah there's no lighting I would say like a grocery store like Publix Publix is bright as fuck every time you walk in there you're like hell yeah um Like a dark I need that brightness, but it's good looks like good I got to get one of those cards and and get down with the system Something you'll notice about all
00:16:18
Speaker
I don't know. Grocery stores up here. Is that sometimes maybe once a week they leave the trash compactor open and the whole back of the storage is like hot garbage. I don't know. yeah I don't know why that happens. It used to happen at the one I worked out. It's pretty bad. The trash place doesn't doesn't come every day. Yeah, but you don't have to leave the compactor door open. Hmm.
00:16:46
Speaker
You can tell. You can like tell when they're doing trash. You walk in the whole back of the store just smells like fucking just hot trash, dude. Yeah. ah When I worked at Urban and ah in the suburbs, we shared a trash compactor with a seafood restaurant. Oh, Jesus Christ. rather So we'd just be throwing away like that's horrendous. regular trash, like, you know, packaging and stuff, old t-shirts, but you'd be throwing it on top of just like a bunch of old fish. Like when like legal was just like, oh oh, nobody got the octopus dump, a whole bunch of octopus in the trash and you'd have to open a thing and it would just.
00:17:32
Speaker
fucking fish smell and then the thing goes automatically when you shut the door like it starts to crush it and it would crush it and you just see all the fish juice like leak out the bottom of the dumpster just a fucking sea of stinky fish juice that was great in the summer it got real good Japanese guys just had their head underneath it right oh yeah they loved it Guys, I just deleted like 5,000 emails.
Managing Digital Clutter and Pranks
00:18:02
Speaker
You could just get AI to do that for you. Yeah, but then you know how how satisfying it is to do it yourself. What if one of those emails is important? It's too late now.
00:18:16
Speaker
Wait, did you just like mass select them all and delete them? I had emails from twenty twenty. Nice. Yeah, I got sixteen, nineteen thousand emails. Yeah, I go through now like I sense it breaks it down into like promotions and stuff. I delete all the promotional stuff and all the social stuff. Yeah, it's really nice. I used to be very on top of my email just because I liked not having anything unread. Whenever it was like a year ago, when I just decided that was a stupid fucking waste of time. And now I have 6000 unread emails. It's really nice. well Yeah. Yeah. Hey, chill on Patreon. We love you, boy. Yeah, dude, you're the best shout out to that dog.
00:19:12
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not on Patreon, so I don't know what you're talking about. Get on Patreon! You know what I've been doing ah today, which was funny? ah to To some of my boys that have, like, um real public jobs. Yeah, I go on to like I look up whatever they work Like one of them's like a Navy officer and I just looked up like US Navy, Rhode Island and then I I went to on Google and just did like a five-star Google review, but I
00:19:47
Speaker
nah I didn't enter it in obviously, but it looks like I did. and I just took a screenshot of it. It's like five stars. I'm like, oh, Dan X, Y, Z last name. I'm like, yeah, he he gave me some great five star service and and he loves black bitches so much. And I'm very proud of him and I'm proud of him to be a part of the US Navy. And then I just did the same exact thing to a, uh, one of my buddies who's a realtor. I was just like ours X, Y, and Z horniest realtor I've ever met, but he was great. And he got me the house I needed. And then I just send him a screenshot and they, uh, they pursue realtors or freak out about that. Yeah, they all do. I mean, if you're in the Navy, freak out about it too. But I think I'm going to do that over the next week, probably everybody. I like that.
00:20:37
Speaker
Because, uh, yeah, it's like, Hey, yeah, this guy. Wow. This guy likes black women. That sucks. Five star review. you're what You're welcome. Damn. Yeah. Hey, chill. Shout out to you, my boy. We're doing this for you. Let's see. what Who else do we have on blast? Shout out Gucci. No. Shout out to my. You're banned. He fired. Shout out to a wrote Rotor.
00:21:15
Speaker
Shout out Brandon. Shout out out Blaff. Shout out to you, my dog. Gucci, come back. Talk to us, bro. Now let's see who else is here. That's really it. We got $23 in the Patreon account. I'm just going to let that shit ride. Let that stack up.
Culinary Experiences and Humor
00:21:41
Speaker
Maybe one day we'll be able to go out to dinner. Fuck yeah. Hell yeah. Right now we could get a lot of candy. 2313. Like a decent amount of like nerds clusters. Yeah. Hell yeah.
00:21:56
Speaker
I think I outdrank myself on the frozen cokes. Oh no, I had one. I still haven't had one. That's on my list where you can get them in McDonald's or are they like limited time? Yeah, you get them at McDonald's all day, bro. I had when I was ah in Florida last week. I had one every day. Maybe I'll, maybe I'll get that for lunch tomorrow. Like damn, this shit's good. Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup. I got a room service walls there and uh, it was the most devastating thing. They brought it up and they, and they forgot my Coke, but I was so hungry that I forgot. And then after I sat down, I was like, fuck dude. No, I don't have it when that happens. Yeah.
00:22:33
Speaker
But they brought me, I ordered it, I didn't know it was real, but I ordered like a yeah ah wedge salad, and that shit literally came on like a wedge of fucking lettuce. Oh yeah, that's how they are. Yeah, they just give you like one fifth of a head of lettuce, and then they put a bunch of shit on it. What the fuck, dude? That's not what I expected. What did you think a wedge salad was? I don't know. Just like maybe, I don't know, bro. Like a wedge of tomato or something in there or something. I don't fucking know. bro That's so confused. That's awesome. Like, this is like a bread bowl of lettuce that they just handed me. I was he. yeah but Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You just got a fucking crescent moon, a lettuce. Yeah. What the hell? Shit was good as hell though.
00:23:25
Speaker
Yeah. Do they have blue cheese dressing, like eggs and shit on it? Or was it just... I'm gonna put eggs on them. I think a ball of wedge is always blue cheese with bacon. Yeah, it was house made. And the Cobb salad. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I got it. It was like house made blue cheese house made this and and then you add chicken. And I was like, yeah, dude, that's what I need right now. And then they gave it to me a balancing fucking piece of lettuce. I was like, what the fuck? i When they gave it to me, all the stuff was on top. I was like, maybe the salad's like inside of this.
00:24:05
Speaker
ah Like maybe it is like a bread bowl and all the salads inside of this looking fine Because it was a pretty nice place I was like what the hell was these what the fuck am I eating right now? I broke it down with a fork and knife, but at the end I just started like eating like a piece of pizza The fuck is going on dude, I should have got the chicken Mmm, that shit threw me off
00:24:33
Speaker
like call down and you're like, um, I'm not mad, but like you, you, so you just serve me like a ah quarter of a head of lettuce was that on purpose. The easiest dish to make ever.
Hotel Adventures and Challenges
00:24:47
Speaker
Well, did you mean to do that? Can you do it again? If it was an accident though, can you do it exactly the same as you did it? Could you put a cheeseburger inside of that thing for me? Can you do it? Can you do wedge salad, but make it a cheeseburger? Yeah. Yeah. You do wedge salad, but where it's a cheeseburger and fries, please. Do you have frozen Coke there?
00:25:12
Speaker
I wanted one. I went out after you freeze it. After I got that, I was like, all right, I'm staying in there like nine o'clock. I was like, fuck it. I'm getting a.
00:25:29
Speaker
Just on foot, wandering the streets. Oh, he's got that Glock 17 out there. you Give me the goddamn wedge salad. That's the last thing the fucking guy saw. I was stumbling into McDonald's. Do you do wedge salad? I had my Xbox with me. I needed an extension cord, so I was wandering around the back of the hotel. I was like, you know what? Fuck this. And I was, uh, I found like the ballrooms and I was like, there's gotta be one in here. And all of them are locked. And then I shimmied one door open that was locked and popped it open into the ballroom. And I was like, had the ballroom lights on and I was creeping around it. It was creepy, by the way.
00:26:16
Speaker
Sure. I was like, yeah there's got to be an extension cord somewhere in this fucking ballroom. And then there wasn't. So then I went through like the pushing doors where it's like the service, like behind the ballroom. We're all like, the you know, if you're at an event. Folding chairs and stuff are kept. Yeah, I was pitch black back there. So I was like, you know what? There's gotta be an extension cord back here And I was just fumbling around back there I was like, uh, there's a bunch of flat screens that I was like feeling behind it because I couldn't really see anything What the fuck is this?
00:26:58
Speaker
as ah I kept fucking searching and searching for one and I couldn't find anything. Then eventually I just gave up and fucking hit all the lights off and and slowly crept out of there. I don't know, like a crackhead skin quest. I know. I was so pissed, dude. I was like, if anybody finds me back here, it's going to be a little bit. I was going to just be like, oh, I don't know where the where I'm looking. I couldn't find my way around here. Yeah. But I was like, you have an I left my I left my jacket back here. I think I i think my jacket's back here.
00:27:36
Speaker
Because there's no way it's like I'm on the only floor with fall rooms. It's like I can't even be like, oh, my room's around the corner. Oh, do you know Chris? Have you met him? Yeah, Chris told me there was um an extension cord back here. I don't know. There was like a podium and shit back there. And then eventually I just went back and just door dashed an extension cord.
00:28:04
Speaker
I feel like you could have just sat like ass maintenance. I know, but they might have hooked you up and then I kept um just popping the lock on like the linen room in the hallway and taking a bunch of waters and towels every time, every day. sure I'll also give you those for free if you ask. I didn't feel like calling those motherfuckers. I do that. Like when you are like on the floor leaving or coming in while they're like the maids are there doing the rooms and you can just steal water from their maid card, I'll do that. Well, I've been watching so many movies that I'm like, now I'm like, ooh, I'm going to creep around and- Yeah, I can just be a movie person. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to fucking get what's mine. Pick locks at the hotel. got Just popping locks and shit.
00:28:55
Speaker
Yeah, I definitely should have been like, yeah, I need an extension cord to work, but I was, I didn't think that far. That's fine. You know what I'm gonna fuck you up. I think most people wouldn't be just creeping around behind the hotel, sneaking into ballrooms. Yeah, exactly. Hey, they forgot my coke. I should have said that. Oh, I'm looking for my coke back here, though. I mean, the thing is... Yesterday. Just because of the nature of hotels, like even if some, even if you did get caught, nothing happened. You were like, Oh, I'm staying in this hotel. And they'd been like, okay. Like it would have been like a weird note on your account. i'm like But this, but like you wouldn't have, nothing would have happened.
Beverage Preferences and Nostalgia
00:29:34
Speaker
No, I'm the, I'm always in the right in that situation. That's what I thought. I was like, man, I'm, I'm just looking for an extension cord. Get off my back.
00:29:42
Speaker
I needed to do business. Everything in this hotel is mine, if if I want it to be. I need it for work. I need to play PGA in my room. God, yeah. And then after every night at had like nine o'clock, I was like, I can't get a frozen coke. cause I was like, fuck it. I'm going to get a frozen coke. could Just show up.
00:30:06
Speaker
oh Man, they're good. Wait till you guys have one. You're going to be addicted to them.
00:30:16
Speaker
What was that? Two days ago? Yesterday? Yeah, it might've been yesterday. That was my last one. Wow. Yay. The McDonald's ones hit differently though. The ones that like 7-11 aren't as good. Yeah. McDonald's has some kind of special Coke. I had a Sprite Zero with dinner. I was underwhelmed. Jesus Christ. That sucks. I just, you know, sometimes you're like, I haven't, I haven't had that in a long time. I wonder if it's still bad. And it is. It's a cranberry spray when it comes out. what The cranberry spray is pretty good. The way, whatever they do to sprite that makes it so that you are way more thirsty after thinking it than than you were when you started. That's still true. Like whatever magic that they have there where you're like, I'm more dehydrated.
00:31:08
Speaker
I feel like I don't even see Sprite at the grocery store anymore. I feel like it's bottom shelf. yeah when i was gave up I was like a top tier soda when I was a kid. Like, oh, yeah, I don't think it was just me. I think everyone really likes Sprite. When I went to CVS and to get fucking chips and soda, it literally bottom of the shelf. Like, man, fucking cream strawberries and cream. Dr. Pepper gets higher billy than Sprite now. bro people fucking uh once i remember they changed the logo like twice in the 2000s the first one they had to just the green dark blue and yellow sprite that was good and then they changed it after and it sucked after that sucked ever since
00:31:52
Speaker
Not the drink, just the logo, and that's why no one likes it anymore. Yeah, everything got dumb. I'll tell you what, once ah Santa Claus Coca-Cola comes back out again, I'm probably buying cases again just because ah that should just taste different. Yep. Can't tell me that. You know, that brings me to my next fact. That's Santa Claus Coca-Cola is probably going to save pedophilia. It's going to fix it. It's going to get it out. It's going to evolve. Like abolish it is so okay. I saved maybe refresh whatever make it, make it cool version two. I don't know, dude. It's going to abolish it. That seems it. Yeah. It seems like it could happen.
00:32:41
Speaker
All the pedophiles are going to leave. They got them all actually. I thought that they got them
Crime and Punishment Debates
00:32:46
Speaker
all. I heard that. they did Now they put pedophile on things like cool on Instagram. It's, it's weird. Like I'm not, I don't, I'm not against it. Um, but it definitely is, uh, it's odd when they're like, yeah, we caught this guy. He was, he thought he was meeting a 13 year old girl. We're going to make him eat old shrimp. it just like to Shrimp. We're calling the police.
00:33:15
Speaker
And it's like little pump yelling at him. yeah i saw meet old shrimp And then, and then he cries and eats the old shrimp. And then they're like, all right, you ate the shrimp. So I'm not going to call the police. And then they leave. And then the police are there. Yeah, dude. They need to just shoot them in the back of the head. That would be the real one. How long do you think that Instagram would count would last? Uh,
00:33:42
Speaker
That probably happens and they just don't video it. Oh man. I mean the cartel has their Instagrams are up. Yep. That is true.
00:33:58
Speaker
Oh man. El Mayo was captured while we're on vacation too. This has been a while. Yeah. El Mayo, the Sinaloa cartel president. ofioo that's What did he do? how do you get caught ah El Chapo's son allegedly, well from El Mayo's account, he flew into New Mexico on a private plane and got arrested on the tarmac by FBI with El Chapo's son. And um he said that He wasn't tricked. Everybody was like, oh, al Chapo's son probably tricked him. He said, no, I was kidnapped by him and hogtied and thrown on his plane. And then he flew me into Mexico and turned me over to FBI, which is probably the id obviously he'd rather get killed than that. So pretty cool punishment.
00:34:47
Speaker
Yeah. But yeah, maybe they should do that to pedophiles. Just kidnap them and put them on a plane to Mexico. Yeah. Drop them off in a random place in Mexico. I mean, I feel like Mexico doesn't want them. Exactly. That's a, you know, put them as far away in Mexico from the border as possible. I feel like the the British were like onto something with like, Australia was just like originally they just sent all the fucking yeah prisoners there. There's got it. Like we've we've got like 22 tiny islands in the Pacific. Like give them one of the Marshall Islands. You can't you can't leave. Yep. But you just have to be here. There's no kids. So like whatever has some men to. Yeah. Because then they can't procreate.
00:35:40
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I think you could probably, yeah I mean, you can give them pills and stuff that may chemically castrate you anyway. I think they so they do that. I think some states do that anyway. Louisiana is castrating guys. Surgically, which is a rules.
00:35:57
Speaker
Do you think they're like, how am I supposed to piss now? They're like, I don't know. Figure it out. That's not our problem. but Down your leg. I don't know, dude. Should've thought of that before you, uh, you know, diddled.
00:36:16
Speaker
Um, yeah. Or like a barge, like a garbage barge. Yeah, there's got that garbage patch in the Pacific. You could put some boards on it. Yeah, so in about what, uh, maybe like three or four months that once a Sanico comes out, all this will go away. Yeah. Does it come back when it's not Christmas anymore? Or that's going to one they kind of roll back in. They slowly. You had to chase them out.
00:36:52
Speaker
right around Martin Luther King Day. They just start coming out. Peeking around the corner at the bank on discords and stuff slowly reappearing. You know, they're like skunks in your yard. You got to just keep that a lot of them. Yeah. Like wasps, you might say. Oh, my God. Paul, you have any, uh, any skunks looping around back there?
Encounters with Nature and Weather Challenges
00:37:19
Speaker
I don't recently. Any more coyote sightings?
00:37:26
Speaker
One of our chickens stayed out all night. The LA like that. Not that long ago. You just like didn't know it wasn't in there. Now a coyote came and we got like most of them back in except for one, we couldn't find it. And then just the next morning I went outside and it was just in the lilac bush. Oh shit. but Made it through the night. I mean, I guess like I know that like domesticated chickens are fucking stupid relative to like whatever they were domesticated from, but like I mean, yeah, I guess a bird can survive overnight.
00:38:02
Speaker
But I would have thought fucking raccoon or something. Raccoons are really fucking, they don't really do anything. Uh, yeah. They just like eat everything and like have no fear. They kind of just like fuck around.
00:38:20
Speaker
They might eat a chicken. They definitely do. Think so? Yeah, I know somebody who, whose chicken's got eaten by raccoons. Damn, dude. They must've been hungry. Bit its head off, she said. Jesus Christ you think the raccoon was like what the fuck did I just do you didn't didn't realize ah ah Things still moving and Yeah, yeah Why yes, that's my guy from ah
00:39:03
Speaker
Storage wars. Storage wars. Yup. Yup. Yup. Yup. What's his name, Paul? It's a yup guy. Dave. Dave, yeah. Dave. Yup. I think that's his name. I swear the fucking entire universe is stupider now. after storage wars. No, sorry. I just got a text from the hotel that I canceled, but I called to cancel on Monday that just checking in to make sure you're enjoying everything so far. Please text us when you were leaving your room for express checkout. Have a safe journey home. No. Now I have to wonder if they know that I did. I actually canceled. Yeah. Refunded.
00:39:56
Speaker
No, I did not. Damn dude. Well, I said, uh, I was like, I know it was booked non-refundable, but because it's like a hurricane, surely you will refund me. And they were like, yeah, you should be fine. Like no one can do anything like. even enterprise when I canceled my car rental yesterday, I called them and I was like, or I tried to do it online and it didn't work. Called them. They were like, then they have the voice thing. That's like, did you know that you can cancel you? Like when you select two to cancel your reservation, it's like, it's easier to do this online. And I was like, yeah, I know you told me I can't. So I called and then
00:40:37
Speaker
spoke to an Indian woman. It doesn't matter that she was Indian. I'm just kind of coloring the story. indian And I talked to enterprise for like six hours. the other And she was like, uh, she was like, I can't cancel it online either, but it'll just automatically cancel itself once you haven't picked it up for 12 hours. And I was like, cool, but I prepaid. So like, I want to make sure I get my money back. She's like, Ooh, that's a terrible idea. yeah And she was like, well, it's, you shouldn't be charged. And I was like, Yeah, I paid already shouldn't be or like won't like, I want you to tell me like, Oh yeah, the funds will be, you know, like whatever. So it's like wait three days for all this and then yell at everyone. Cause even jet blue hasn't returned my money yet and they canceled my flight. So I feel like that that's a no brainer. That's what I mean. Everyone's just fucking dumb.
00:41:28
Speaker
Yeah, man. Fuck that shit. I got they that. A storm went right by me. It was actually a nice day yesterday. I had to pass. Where is it now? People are getting smoked by it right now. Mm hmm. Like, oh, it's just hovering over South Carolina. They don't have any drainage. I was like, how the fuck does that even work now that they just don't have drained a major state? There's no rivers here. Yeah. They're like, yeah, water ain't going to really, you know, it's not really going to go. They got one inch of water and the streets were flooded yesterday. Yeah. It's like, Jesus Christ. I don't think it has anything to do with the storm, but today, fucking 9am this morning was like apocalyptically dark. Yeah. It was very cloudy. You would have thought it was like 6pm.
00:42:21
Speaker
9am weird started on your eight hour meeting. How did everybody start that? Everybody talk about the weather. Um, happy monday no, there was no like dumb small talk beginning of the meeting because they immediate because we first got into it with them realizing the audio didn't work on like the, kind of the, video conference or thing. And then they just spent a half hour plugging and unplugging things. So all this icebreaker was just being like, can you hear me? No, I can't hear you. No, I can't hear you just over and over and being like. And then they just did ended up doing a thing where they're like, we're just going to place a laptop here. You're only going to be able to hear like the three closest people to the laptop, like
00:43:12
Speaker
but It's going to be fine. But again, not a big deal.
Health and Diet Strategies
00:43:20
Speaker
How's your, how's your journey of naughty Dean McDonald's every day? Pretty good. I haven't, uh, uh, I haven't felt Like I have had a McDonald's craving yet other than I guess I've had two McGriddles since I told, I said I was going to eat healthier. So like, am I really eating healthier? Um, but today I just had like rice and a potato. Okay. That was pretty great. every day You don't crave McDonald's. Um, maybe it like, maybe there's like moments and I don't remember them.
00:44:01
Speaker
i wanted a so I wanted a steak today, and i would not that I couldn't have one, but I think you're not supposed to eat that much red meat. I don't know, it's going fine. Okay, that's cool. Not bad. You have a cheat a cheat day? Yeah, I just cheat on the weekends. I mean, I figure if i if I, rather than just eating like a piece of shit every day, Yeah, hell yeah. If I eat mostly healthy Monday through Thursday and then Friday, Saturday, Sunday, eat like a piece of shit, that should probably be fine. Dude, you could eat like a piece of shit every day. Yeah, I could. And I, who knows, you know, who knows? Like probably I'll probably get McDonald's for lunch tomorrow. Yeah. he yeah bro Like I said, maybe it's a once a month thing instead of a once a week thing. Twice a week, four times a week. ain't bad burn McDonald's breakfast the other day. McDonald's breakfast doesn't count. McDonald's breakfast is just perfect. I paid Dad Chick-fil-A tonight. I absolutely went hard. I was like, you know what? I'm going hard. Crushed it.
00:45:18
Speaker
Nice. What'd you get i open get? I still been good, though. I just get the grilled chicken sandwich at Chick-fil-A. Yeah. And I got the two extra tenders. You know, it was pretty good. Pig donut, dude. Their fucking coke has slapped so hard. They just do, you know, we dine in at Chick-fil-A. It's really nice. It's always good. You get a milkshake? I don't. The other two get milkshake and my kid just plays in the playground the whole time. Nice. Yeah. Double playground.
00:45:57
Speaker
Oh, we're back. a Slow a so little bit of ah a little drop in connection, but we're back here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can tell the satellites just passed over you. and Yeah, he has the Canadian satellites and the Japanese ones picked up. Moshi Moshi. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you know what else? Fucking.
Controversies and Stories Surrounding RFK Jr.
00:46:25
Speaker
Did we talk about RFK Junior?
00:46:29
Speaker
no i heard he like raped two people is that true i'd believe that they someone said that uh i was on a podcast i was listening to today maybe it was on lemon party but they said uh he there was like more like they're just destroying him with like all these allegations and they like said he raped people and then his counter was the bear video i don't know what that was or he wrestled a bear or something dude i was gonna i didn't know anything about fucking rape allegations i just read that article about the fucking bear which is the funniest shit what was it
00:47:06
Speaker
It's so much better than wrestling a bear. All right. First of all, he told this, story he chose to tell this story, which is, which is fucking insane. So he's like, he's, he's driving around upstate New York, falconing, nice which is like the, that is the most incel sport imaginable. Yes. ah He but he's falconing He sees a woman Driving ahead of him hit a bear cub and hit and run kill a bear cub He Wanting to eventually skin and eat to the bear meat skin the bear and eat the bear meat Picks up the dead bear puts it in his trunk and
00:48:03
Speaker
normal human things as we all see roadkill sometimes and think we want to skin and eat it. Uh, then because he's a, he's a Kennedy, he's a busy man. I think he has a job. Uh, he gets, he gets, he has to travel suddenly unexpectedly. They're like, they're like, Bobby, Bobby, we need you in California. Get on a jet right now. So he hightails it back to the city ah to catch his plane. And he's like, fuck, I still have a dead bear in my trunk. I can't just be at the airport.
00:48:40
Speaker
parking garage with a dead bear in my trunk. So he pulls over in Central Park, dumps the bear there. And then he's like, you know, it'd be funny if I made it look like a bicyclist hit this bear. And what? Look, I have an old bike I don't want anymore in my car. So he stages the bike and dead bear to look like The bike hit and killed the bear and then leaves.
00:49:15
Speaker
And then everyone's like, who the fuck killed this bear with a bike? And then he's like, it was me. I did it. That was me. Uh, I think I love him. That's the craziest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. What kind of car does this guy have? i That's my question. Where are you fitting all this stuff? Yeah. How are you fitting a do a dead bear and a bicycle in your trunk? Probably got a Subaru Forester. Bike is always tough to fucking fit into any, anything. This guy might be the best or he's a complete full of shit. Yeah. I mean, that's the most insane story I've ever heard, but also the energy of just being like, well, what do I do? Let me just prank everyone.
00:50:09
Speaker
with his dead bear. So he drives to the city. I think when he, I don't, I didn't read like every detail. I think when people say upstate New York, they mean like he's in like o white planes. yeah I don't think he was in like Albany. Fuck this guy I was just watching a video before this of him Someone was recording him and he's like in high anus and he's like Yeah, five generations of Kennedys own this place There's about 20% of this is Kennedys if you walk around I'm like shut the fuck up, dude Yeah, you don't know that shut up. They all disowned you shut up, dude Yeah, no one
00:50:55
Speaker
they Did they they all disowned him? I think so. Oh, yeah, I mean Yeah Bobby we need you get on a plane right now get to California. We need you We need your voice to call in a bomb threat to us We need your voice to call in a bunch of bomb threats I Think is like brother or something said not brother son said that he's like crazy and shouldn't be president. Like when your family like does he that dirty Jesus Christ. I mean, he is pretty crazy, right? Oh, I mean the dude Falcons, which suddenly the rate and the sense rate and stuff makes way more sense. Had a brain worm. Yeah. Uh, doesn't believe in vaccines, which isn't crazy per se, but I think is like in,
00:51:56
Speaker
The like Venn diagram of crazy and other things like those definitely overlap. A voice. I mean, the voice works out in jeans.
00:52:13
Speaker
Just picks up roadkill with the intent of eating it. And it's like fucking doesn't even work out. He just takes fucking like crazy. no He's on like TRT Holstein or whatever. Yeah.
00:52:29
Speaker
Um, yeah, dude. Crazy person. I didn't know that there was, I mean, fucking everyone's got sexual assault allegations against them, but. I mean, yeah. Who knows if it's a real.
00:52:47
Speaker
Oh, no. I do a voice analysis at the trial. definite Like if they were like we have this we have this recording of the event. Yeah Yeah, why why don't you bend over for me yeah exactly Like, well, he's guilty. Yeah, it's definitely him. There's no way anybody could do this crazy voice. He's divorced. So there's that. I mean.
00:53:30
Speaker
Hey, is it Kennedy? Hey. trump optionss for him That's part of their like. holiday stuff. They probably just, you know,
00:53:45
Speaker
what is on the background behind
Television Content and Appraisal Critiques
00:53:47
Speaker
you? Is there, is just the fishing channel this whole time? Yeah, dude. I'm just watching, uh, ooh, that's not how the cat works mad fishermen or whatever. Yeah. It's the bass pro shop. Can Bella's it's a 2022 bass pro shop. Can Bella's bass fishing. tournament of some kind on the on, you know, the um Jesus Christ, yeah you know whats how smart TVs just have channels? Yeah, I know. And like, what are they? ah This is on there. There's also professional paintball. You can watch that. Oh, my God. There's all they show is
00:54:30
Speaker
um Good or really good or really bad antiques roadshow appraisals. Yeah. All day. 24 hours all day. Yes. You either watch people. You either watch that old guy who like brought in like like a fucking fucking bowl that he's like, my grandma left this bowl. um We put beans in it. And the guy's like, this, this bull belonged to George Washington. This is priceless. I've never seen anything like this. And he cries. You're like, you have a piece of American history. He's like, Oh, I guess I won't be putting beans in it anymore. and see that guy Or you see the fucking bitch who's like,
00:55:11
Speaker
My father was a poet in, he traveled to Japan and brought back this his vase and ah it's been in the family for 300 years. And then they're like, yeah, this is, they sell this to fat, ugly tourists. They sell this to gay people. This is worth $6. Your, your, your father's gay. yeah Only those two kinds of appraisal. It's the best channel. oh My god none of the ones where it's like just somebody where they're like, I think I got a good one This painting my my aunt gave me this painting when she died and it's signed and they're like, yeah, it's a pretty good painting like
00:55:49
Speaker
12 12 grand. Like, Oh, wow. Cool. None of those ones. real Yeah. Yeah. That looks like a 12,000. I don't know. Like 12,000 is a painting number. Yeah. I bought it for 10,000. So that's pretty good. I'm glad I got a decent deal out of it. Only devastated or excited one way, one way or the other. Hell yeah. That's awesome. They should have fucking robbed you to a cold host a fucking antiques road show. That would be good. Everyone, he just fucking is like seventy five thousand dollars. Every single thing, everything that they bring up. Wow, this is great. Seventy five thousand dollars. Wow. OK, it's great. All right.
00:56:40
Speaker
Antiques road. I got to throw that on. Yeah, it's great. I guess I'm, I'm sure it's on all of them, but this is a Samsung case. Yeah, I think it's. i think There's also a, this old house just 24 seven, this old house. Yeah. Yep. If you get a little tired of antiques, roadshow, switch one channel over this old house, Olympic highlights, but from 2020. Nice. Not bad.
00:57:14
Speaker
I'd be like, I know you were interested in ah women's beach volleyball now, but what about Rio?
Olympic Controversies and Geography Confusion
00:57:22
Speaker
Everybody just boo in China. Oh, remember when the thing that made the world the most angry was that China snuck a bunch of 12 year olds into the Olympics? Boo. Now they're like, that now they're like, that that boxer's a man. She's a man. Yeah, exactly. They're like, we measured we measured the distance between her shoulder and her Adam's apple. And that's a man. Oh, my God. Like, bro, she's Algerian. You know, they don't get to do that there. No, I know. That's not that's not a real thing. Yep. I i need to get back on the Olympics game.
00:58:05
Speaker
I haven't really watched. This is the first, I think because I don't have TV anymore other than, um, they need to slow down. There's going on. There's like, how the fuck are you supposed to watch all that shit every day? Well, and when it's like, uh, Maria was like the same time zone as us, I think, or like maybe one hour behind. or I don't really know how the earth works in terms of the curve, but France is like, Yeah, exactly. Five hours ahead of us. No way. Basketball's on at 11 a.m. On the weekday. I'm like, well, get out of here. Any of these fucking games. Get out of here. Yeah, I feel like this is the first year I haven't really followed it. I just know like there was like a Korean or there was a Turkish dude who shot who yeah got like the silver for shooting and everyone was like, he's cool.
00:58:59
Speaker
There's like a French dude who's like giant dong hit the like he was doing the pole vault and his didn't get the gold because his giant dong hit the pole and Knocked it off. Everybody booed him. Yeah, they were like fuck you And now he has an OnlyFans, I guess. Oh, Jesus Christ. Because if you don't get the gold medal, why not? Yeah. um Obviously, that boxer chick that everyone was like, it's a man. That was the thing. ah What was the other one?
00:59:37
Speaker
Michelle Obama. Michelle Obama. It was a man. Obama boxing. For US.
00:59:49
Speaker
yeah Yeah. I think she made it to the semi-finals. She's like competing for the gold. What? She getting knocked out yet? No, she's, she's going for the gold.
01:00:05
Speaker
Yeah, whatever. algae Oh, I forgot. And then the opening ceremonies, everyone freaked out about it. Cause they thought it was like satanic, which okay. Who cares?
01:00:20
Speaker
I'll hear you. Oh, wow. It's in Africa. ah Yeah. Is that Middle East? yeah Yeah, whatever, dude. It's all the same. I mean, I don't know where it is either. yeah I couldn't point it out on a map. I just know it's. Oh, that's Africa. You're right. Damn. I would not have guessed that's where Algeria where I where Algeria is. Oh, yeah, dude, is Google Maps just a bunch of sand. Thanks a lot, Algeria. I think most of those. Like they've got. If you're not on the Mediterranean coast, it's probably just sand. Oh man, I just googled. It's just a bunch of ruins, too. Jesus. Well, that was like eighteen hundred. You get dropped there. You're like, well, this ain't good.
01:01:16
Speaker
Jesus, dude, you will go on vacation out there, huh? I feel like now. I feel like I wouldn't. um Well, I'm so uneducated on anything in Africa, all these places. I'm like, I can't believe it's a real place. way You just find Zambia Togo. Yeah. Logos, I know about that. Logos. That's where that scene from Black Panther or whatever was. Captain America. Yeah, good for them. Listen.
01:02:02
Speaker
um I understand. Yeah, OK. Well, Algeria going to get gold. Good for them. Yeah, I mean, listen, they deserve it.
01:02:16
Speaker
You can sneak a man into the Olympics. You get it. Kazak. Yeah, I'm probably just going to look like that Turkish dude that won the shooting thing. So right. I'm just going to be that guy now. That dude looks great. This is my identity. No fucking I got the no fucking weird glasses, no fucking your protection. Whoa, they have Lexuses and Kazakhstan. Good for them. Wow. Good for them, huh? Look at you. Bumper stickers and stuff. That's cool. Allegedly. Good for them, huh? Kazaks.
01:03:08
Speaker
Kazakhstan's huge. Jesus Christ. Chill out, Kazakhstan.
01:03:14
Speaker
That's crazy to be that much of a country and like, no one even knows where you are. Zing Zhang. Zing Jane. You're like right next to China. Yeah. Chill out. Yup. Yup. Not even on Google street view. Yup. Oh. Yup. Yup. Dude, that's so much fucking dirt.
01:03:41
Speaker
That's wild.
Global Politics and Historical Reflections
01:03:45
Speaker
yeah looking at the map you're like oh it makes sense that so many russians are muslim it's just like right there so is everybody in russia just like in the army now um like in general like or did something happen recently Now, just like ah in general, right? Yeah, I think they've always kind of been that way. But I think not recently. now Yeah, right. Like a couple months into the Ukraine thing, which at this point was what, like two years ago, Russia was like, yeah, if you're if you're between like 18 and 36, you're you're like in the military now. Oh, that sucks. And a bunch of people like tried to fucking leave.
01:04:35
Speaker
They're like, no, no, no, no. No, not for this. You can't go anywhere. But then somehow Putin still gets reelected with like 110%. Everybody says the richest man in the world. Yeah. I mean, at some point for people like him, cause like what he has to like Elon Musk or like fucking Jeff Bezos don't have is like a country. So for him, the what what even is money? Like what even is wealth for him? You just get whatever you want. No one asks you to pay for it. And you leverage anything that you do have to pay for against an entire country's wealth. So like, well, how do you even calculate his, his net worth?
01:05:29
Speaker
Exactly.
01:05:34
Speaker
Wow. All right. that's That's an episode. That's a podcast. That's a good job. Good job, guys. Welcome back. Welcome back. You're welcome for the podcast. Yeah. Please review, subscribe, join the discord since we lost a valued member and and no he's not welcome back. Oh my God. Be nice. Give us a five star review on Google. yeah do that all right goodbye but
01:06:25
Speaker
Yeah, do that. Alright, goodbye.
01:06:47
Speaker
That's a whole shit, one bad bitch Gotta have bursts, yeah that makes sense Yeah I make hits, but I still take so much So I can see yo, I'm a fool with the snow They think I'm putting DVS juice in the coke Might watch a cool-handed paint job a cold 20 And after this flip I'm quitting the trouble cold turkey Psych, the packing and I'm working Draw season in, charge a answer, whole thing
01:07:18
Speaker
The fish get white, same color, my armor Zone six polar bears never see summer It's winter all year, cause the birds fly younger Ninety-five airmen, cause I'm a dope one I'm ballin' like an athlete, but got no jumper, it's great
01:08:03
Speaker
In the trap, I got something to serve It's 16 bars, same price for a bird What you need a bird? A couple pounds, I'm on TV now You know my side of town So many bricks, I can build my own apartment You better have a check when you come in my department Yes, I break them down, and I sell them whole Try me watch a whole crew fall
01:08:29
Speaker
And a trap car, a hundred thousand dollars a kelp, that's a trap star All this smoke got me feeling real nauseous, grind with them bricks, got me feeling real
01:09:02
Speaker
But I still take
01:09:48
Speaker
I got this slim shaded, we call it eight miles I'm from North Memphis, walkin' some browns
01:10:14
Speaker
That's a whole shit, one bad bitch, gotta have mercy