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Reindeer Games (2000)
32 Plays5 months ago
It's time to have yourself a slutty little Christmas with the Erotic Thriller Club! We're kicking things off with the Ben Affleck/Charlize Theron classic Reindeer Games! Jello riots, hotel sex, casino heists, holiday cheer!
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Transcript
Welcome to The Erotic Thriller Club
00:00:00
Speaker
Ladies, gentlemen, folks beyond the binary, grab your husband, wife, partner, mistress some hot chocolate and pecan fuckin' pie and gather round the radio. It's time for this week's meeting of The Erotic Thriller Club.
Plot Summary of 'Reindeer Games'
00:01:07
Speaker
Picture this. You've just done five years on the joint for boosting cars. Your BFF cellmate has a smoking hot pen pal he's very excited about meeting, but he dies on a tragic jello riot. What are you supposed to do? Let her find out her pen pal died this close to Christmas? No. You pretend to be him, slide down her chimney, but now her gross brother needs you to rob a casino. Bah humbug. This week on the Erotic Thriller Club,
00:01:36
Speaker
reindeer games. Hey everybody, welcome to this week's meeting of the Erotic Thriller Club. Our happy holidays edition, Christmas slutty Christmas is here folks. Garrett Calender can't wait. Oh, ho, ho, ho's all around. but Yes, and this is where we answer the genre's three most and important questions. Was I aroused? Was I thrilled? And would I ruin my life for this person? And I propose we add a special fourth category. Did it put you in the holiday spirit, Garrett?
00:02:07
Speaker
Yeah, fuck yeah. That's what I'm talking about. i am so I'm so sad that we only get two episodes in Christmas, Slutty Christmas. Christmas, Slutty Christmas. Well, I mean, yeah we could go all the way to Twelfth Night and put one in January. Well, we get this year, we get an erotic thriller on Christmas Day. Oh,
Upcoming Erotic Thrillers
00:02:32
Speaker
shoot. I didn't think of that. Yeah, we do get one this year.
00:02:36
Speaker
Literally Christmas Day, A24 is giving us baby girl with ah Nicole Kidman. And by day 24, I think you mean Sandy Claus. Sandy Claus has given us that in our stockings, because we were good. What month did Love Lies Bleeding come out? what what with That felt like Christmas. Was that a Christmas and July situation? Or was it earlier?
00:03:03
Speaker
ah get i know Wait, hold on, I can look it up. Seriously though, A24 coming in clutch with two erotic thrillers this year. Thank you for that, by the way. um Which means folks, you will get two Nicole Kidman erotic thrillers in a row because next week's erotic thriller, or two weeks from now, whenever you're listening to this, Eyes Wide Shut. Eyes Wide Shut.
00:03:33
Speaker
For December, we're doing movies that have been talked about a lot. All of my splitting came out in March, by the way. It came out in March. Oh, that was a birthday present for me. Oh, man. Christmas present, birthday present, A24. You shouldn't have. Oh, but they did because they love you so much.
Celebrity Gossip: Ariana Grande
00:03:51
Speaker
Before we get into ah reindeer games, though, there is a movie in theaters right now, and i it's not an erotic thriller, but the behind the scenes feels a little erotic thriller-y to me, and that is ah wicked. Yeah, you you said that you you weren't able to separate the art from the artist on on this particular one.
00:04:14
Speaker
Yeah, so Ariana Grande in Wicked, I'm sure you've all heard about this by this point, ah she did sleep with a married man who was on set of Wicked and it wasn't a married, it wasn't the prince in the movie, it was a guy who played a munchkin and he's got a weird little red perm and I'll be honest, I think she gave Hope to weird little redhead perm guys everywhere. Aw, isn't that sweet? Like seriously though, when you look at him, you're just like, what the fuck happened? Is she unstable? Why him? And and yeah, maybe he had a great personality. When I first saw him, I was like, oh, no no, no, no, no, he doesn't normally look like that, right? Like that's just what he, like in real life, he looks different. Like at first I thought he was, what's his name from Stranger Things? The, the, the- Demogorgon?
00:05:11
Speaker
yeah
00:05:15
Speaker
No, the guy with the long hair was super, he was totally cute. And I was like, no, he can be cute. And then I realized, no, they just have vaguely similar faces. No, no, he really does look like that. And he looks like that all the time. Even the perm is just like a little bit more of what he usually has. So.
00:05:35
Speaker
Yeah, there goes that that high school sweetheart marriage of his because Ariana- Were they really high school sweethearts? Yes, they really were. Amazing. Yeah. Amazing. You know, like every day she's like, how was work? And he can't say like, I got sucked off of my trailer today by one of the biggest pop stars on the planet. That was your day. Mine was awesome. And the thing is like, how are you supposed to compete with Ariana Grande, you can't. He's almost not at fault. Yes, he is, Garrett. He is still at fault. Thank you. ah This almost falls into like hall pass territory. Okay, so what, you would give your wife a hall pass to go have sex with Ariana Grande? I mean, I would understand what happened.
00:06:32
Speaker
I'm not happy about it, but I get it. I just picture in his life where it's just like, oh man, I was a theater kid growing up, probably got bullied a little bit for one having red hair, two being a theater kid. And then your biggest role you've ever had is Spongebob on Broadway, yeah which to be honest, like when I find out that things like that have become a Broadway show, my first thought isn't, I bet that's really good. I'm sure it's fine. I'm sorry, Broadway fans out there, but You too could be a theater kid who works their way up from the understudy in a production of Clue at your high school all the way up to gain sucked off at lunch by Ariana Grande on the set of part one of Wicked.
00:07:20
Speaker
Which, uh, which, which I did not ah see coming. I didn't have on, on my bingo card for wicked, um, weirdly codependent relationship between the two leads had that on my bingo card. and um unhinged press tour. That was there. That was the free space. Wicked has that effect on people. But no, you're right. This one I did not I did not have ah any indication that this was going to be something. So wait, you think this is going to turn into an erotic thriller situation? What you think that his ex wife is going to to track down Ariana Grande and get revenge? Is that what you think?
00:08:03
Speaker
No, she's the normal one. Ariana, you saw the press tour. She's insane now. She is gonna have probably the tiniest bag ever, but like a comically long knife that comes out of it. Yes. Oh, shoot, you're right. And then you know what, Garrett, was it worth it? I mean, yeah. Did you ruin your life for Ariana Grande?
00:08:26
Speaker
I think at the end of the day, this redhead now, he wears probably cooler sunglasses while he's in public with Ariana Grande and has a little more swagger than he did. I think at a certain point when she leaves him, because this isn't going to last forever, that he'll be like, I maybe shouldn't have done that. But hey, you know, you only get the shot like this once in a lifetime. And you know what I just realized better, better ending to our movie is Elphaba kills him.
00:08:54
Speaker
because of their weird codependent lead relationship between the two women, she has to take him out. That's entirely possible. I
'Reindeer Games' Nostalgia
00:09:04
Speaker
don't know. i've just This has really captured my imagination, and I don't know how a single person is supposed to sit through that movie, see his face, and not think about them banging on the set over the four-year span of this movie filmed. Which is wild, come to think of it, that it took four years and you only got half a show out of it.
00:09:26
Speaker
Well there's two. it there were two there were There was a shutdown for the pandemic and then the strikes. So there were two shutdowns in those four years that extended it too. And you still only got half a movie though. Well they filmed them both. They're done. Yeah but I only get half a movie and then I'm gonna have to wait. You have to pay twice. I have to pay twice and and the intermission is a year long. I don't like that. The real payoff is gonna be that they've been filming those two as a reality show this whole time.
00:09:56
Speaker
God, you would pay so much more money to go see that. That's an Oscar winner. All right, we're like 15 minutes into this. Let's get it. Let's start with some dead Santas everywhere, because that's how the movie starts.
00:10:08
Speaker
Kit, I don't know, I mean, I know everybody hates this movie is what I have found out later. Charlize Theron has said it's one of the worst movies she's ever made. She said she only made the movie to work with John Frankenheimer. It was her last chance, because this was his last movie, wasn't it?
00:10:28
Speaker
This was his last movie that he made. you know He did The Manchurian Candidate and you know some other big things in the 60s and 70s, but also you and I, one of our personal favorites, The Island of Dr. Moreau. Absolutely. Complete classic.
00:10:44
Speaker
But I don't know, I saw this movie, what, I would have been in like, so eighth grade when it came out, 2000? You saw Charlize Theron's boobs when you were in like eighth grade? Yes, and that's why this movie holds a special place in my heart where not only do you see boobs, but it's pretty funny. The action is good. I think this movie's awesome, but it might come from a place of nostalgia.
00:11:10
Speaker
think the movie probably got a bad rap because it came out in February who the heck was gonna go see this movie in theaters in February because they they showed it to some test audiences and they were like mmm so they had to do a bunch of like re-edits a couple of reshoots and it pushed it back to February nobody's going to see a movie called reindeer games and Cause it's not like this movie is just Christmas adjacent. no This is one where Christmas is referenced throughout the entire movie. Every single scene has at least some Christmas decor in it. there It never lets you forget for a second. Our main character's name is Rudy.
00:11:57
Speaker
yeah You've got a Rudy, a Nick, a Gabriel. I was honestly surprised that Charlize Theron's name wasn't Mary, just to really get it in there. I even think that they reference
Charlize Theron and Ben Affleck Chemistry
00:12:11
Speaker
a Jesus.
00:12:12
Speaker
i
00:12:18
Speaker
This movie isn't subtle. no And I think that's part of the fun in it though. It does seem like, cause you and I watched the director's cut and this was my first time seeing the director's cut. And I looked up and found a list of the differences. Cause it had been a few years since I had seen the regular one. By seconds. Yes. Like basically.
00:12:41
Speaker
The director's cut is 20 minutes longer, but it's not like there's a big scene that was left out. It's like every scene was cut by like a minute. So they added like a minute to each scene. And it seems like- It's just a little more cheek, a little more of an Affleck cheek. Oh my God, and you get a lot of Affleck cheek. You do, it's nice. He's got a good look. And it's a close up. But you also see it pull out, so you know it's him. Mm-hmm.
00:13:09
Speaker
very, very hairless and shaved back there. I mean, he, he has a very well like manicured butt, manicured, powdered, everything was nice. know what That's true. We've seen some real hairy butts on this, on this show before and not here. oh I think it's funny that this is a movie too, that like clearly two of the sexiest leads in their prime. Mm hmm.
00:13:34
Speaker
And it's a movie where both of us like, I didn't know if I'd be hot enough for you. That part was absolutely hilarious. And the best part is, though, that is that Ben Affleck's is obviously a lie.
00:13:50
Speaker
Um, and and because, you know, he had his own personal reasons for not, not showing up for her at first. And you can tell he's, he's trying so hard to come up with a reason why she might be disappointed to see Ben fucking Affleck walk out the gates of the prison to meet her. Oh, I thought you'd see my face and you'd just be disappointed.
00:14:20
Speaker
way And Charlize Theron's like, I thought you might see my hair. I thought you think my coat sucks. My jacket wouldn't be cute. And listen, I know I'm banging so it it can't be any of this. You think my fashion sense is a little whack. Yeah. And as we all know, people who've just gotten out of prison, that is the most important thing that they're looking for in in um in a partner, is is good fashion sense. let's Okay, so as you said, this movie opens with a whole handful of dead Santas. We guarantee you know this thing, show the end first. And we gotta work our way through a movie to get to how did all these dead Santas show up everywhere. And the dead Santas.
00:15:08
Speaker
When this movie opens, I think that the violence definitely was upped a little bit in the director's cut as well, just like how gruesome it is. Cause it seemed like the director's cut the tone of the movies a little darker and they cut it down by 20 minutes and made it a lighter action comedy.
00:15:26
Speaker
and where this one did feel honestly significantly darker. Yeah. I mean, there's still fun, and but there's definitely some, some, you know, the holidays can be both cheery and a little dark, a little, little sad for some people. So that fits with the tone. Uh, but yes, dreams of getting out of prison.
00:15:52
Speaker
Is hot chocolate and pecan pie. Sorry pecan pie. I don't actually know if they pronounce it that way in the Upper Peninsula. I have not spent a lot of time in the UP. Pecan fucking pie. Pecan fucking pie is what he wants.
00:16:08
Speaker
I love that we see his cellmate. He's got photos of Ashley, Charlize Theron all over. And God, those photos, she said, and there's some spicy ones. There's some bikini ones in there. Those could be currency in prison. Absolutely. But he loves her too much to do that to her. He would never.
00:16:29
Speaker
been pen palim with this gal. and We also find out as they're walking around prison, there's a large scary man that thinks that Affleck got him thrown in the shoe in solitary.
00:16:43
Speaker
Yep, yep, yep. And his name is Alamo. And that is one of many, many cameos in this movie because that is um some NFL player. um Also, Ron Jeremy is a prisoner. Also, um Isaac Hayes is the is the one who starts the food fight. ah Ashton Kutcher shows up later. Yeah, I think like one of Ashton's first acting roles too. It's it's ah it's a bonanza.
00:17:13
Speaker
It is, it's a lot of people. And some of the cameos, so we're in the cafeteria and we see Nick and Rudy getting food. This weird old prison man slops a bunch of green shit on their plate. And I would say it looks like Jello mixed with kale is the consistency. And ah they get an argument over what that is. And he calls it holiday Jello. Sitting at the table having a conversation. Isaac Hayes is across the table.
00:17:43
Speaker
and freaks out a lot because there are, quote, monsters in the gelatin. There are monsters in the gelatin. Great cameo. Any audition for that? I don't think so, but it does bump the number of Oscar winners and nominees in this movie up to four because of his presence.
00:18:04
Speaker
Did he get nominated for what, like the shaft theme or something? Yes, he did. Okay. One for it. Thank you. One. Holy shit. Very cool. And he would have been pretty famous at this point too, because you know, South Park. Absolutely. There would have been a resurgence in the Isaac Hayes business. So yes, there's a big food fight as everyone realizes that their jello has been tainted. Uh,
00:18:30
Speaker
Did the weird old man do put all these roaches in there on purpose? Yeah. I guess the feeling I got is that it was, um, a holiday, a holiday goof, which the fact that Ben Affleck's response to it is like, as protein, just eat it is really funny. It's like, I'm getting out in two days. I don't give, I don't give any shits at all.
00:18:55
Speaker
Do you think that that old man was an insane asshole and knew that this was going to cause a full on riot that results in dead people?
00:19:07
Speaker
um ah He knew there was a non-zero chance, I wanna say, of that happening and he just didn't care.
Prison Riot Scene Absurdity
00:19:16
Speaker
I mean, over the years we've seen a lot of prison riots in movies. This one started because Isaac Hayes stood up and screamed, there's monsters in the gelatin and people die over it. In fairness though, there are indeed roaches in the jello. Like he didn't make that up. I was kind of on their side, you know, I get it. I've seen prison riots in movies start over things that are much less deserved.
00:19:52
Speaker
Kit ah found a hair in her soup once and shivved her partner. I did, I did. It's a nice restaurant too. Yeah, yeah. He had nothing to do with it. I thought it looked like his. What do you want from me? So yeah, the during the prison riot, we see that the NFL player, he comes, ah his his buddy Nick jumps on the way, takes the shiv.
00:20:20
Speaker
and dies in Ben Affleck's arms. And we get some, this is like prime late 90s, early 2000s Ben Affleck. As his friend dies in his arms and Affleck lets out that guards, guards! He lets his voice gets higher and that's so like, I mean, do you remember at the end of Armageddon? I love you Harry! That's that, you get that. And that Affleck,
00:20:44
Speaker
In the early 2000s, late 90s, no one cried in a movie like Affleck. The single Affleck tier was such a great trademark. he it's power A handsome man like that crying, you just, oh fuck. ah Like I'm wet. I'm wet right now thinking about it. And you're wet thinking about Ben Affleck being sad over his best friend getting shanked in prison? Well, how lovable he is and how you want to comfort him and console him.
00:21:14
Speaker
Oh, I see. Yeah. My penis also had a single tear run out of la ah sympathetic tear. Uh, so yes, Rudy is sad. Rudy slash Ben Affleck is sad reading all of his cell mates letters and being sad that, that while pipe in his bed. Yeah. Well, here's the thing as well. Affleck's going to get out and he's going to get to have his hot chocolate and pecan pie.
00:21:40
Speaker
He's thinking about how his cellmate who was also supposed to get out is not gonna get his beloved pen pal girlfriend. And how sad is that? He had so much to live for. Do you think Affleck is, I mean, he's not really a hero in this movie. Like it is- No! This is debatably an erotic thriller, but I would say that it fits a lot of the beats of an erotic thriller. The beats, absolutely. Including ruining your life.
00:22:11
Speaker
where he is doing a bad thing. yeah Like if you pretend to be somebody else to have sex with somebody, you've done the wrong thing. You have done an actual criminal crime. What you have done is a crime, uh, morally as well as legally. That is a crime. Don't do that. It is a crime. It is a crime. It is considered rape by deception.
00:22:33
Speaker
Really? It's been used in a case where um one twin pretended to be his brother to have sex with his brother's wife, girlfriend, whatever. And she took him. She took his ass to court because that was it turns out that's a crime.
Impersonation and Deception
00:22:52
Speaker
See, I think that is a special case where that's definitely. But I think if you pretend to be somebody's pen pal,
00:22:59
Speaker
I feel like that's more of a, I think it's completely morally wrong, but I would think that legally it's more of a gray area. You think so? You think so? What, because you're so nice, you're just trying to make it so that she's not sad on Christmas. what Really, you've done her a favor, if you think about it.
00:23:18
Speaker
I love, like as he's even morally debating what he's doing, like he's he sees Charlize Theron outside alone waiting for somebody that isn't gonna come. He's sitting on a bus, sees people making out next to him, and he's just like rolling his eyes at himself. He knows what he's doing's wrong, but he lets the horniness take over. He does, and you know what? In many ways, he is doing this woman a favor. Number one, Christmas. Number two, he's an upgrade.
00:23:47
Speaker
from the cellmate. He's Ben Affleck. The other guy? Is he Ben Affleck? No, he's not. Affleck supposedly maybe helped write some of the letters. And I think it's really funny as they're reading the letters, Affleck is doing pushups and she basically just writes him a very like junior high Christmas poem about like It's just a very rhyme like happy holidays we gonna fuck poem and his athletes doing push-ups He's like she sounds very mature for 25 Yeah Yeah He just keeps trying to ruin things for for his buddy Nick being like what if she sees you and realizes you're too ugly to have sex with
00:24:33
Speaker
You ever think of that? Or what if she doesn't look like she says she's supposed to look? Do you ever think of that? A good friend keeps you prepared for any and all scenarios. Really? Is that what a good friend does? Bro-negging. Bro-neggs a good friend bro-neggs you and says, have you considered that maybe you're too ugly for Charlize Theron? And you go, yes, yes, I am.
00:24:59
Speaker
Yes I am, but Affleck, not too ugly, he knows it. He is not, he is the most handsome man in that prison in a way that I would be feared, I would be fearful.
00:25:11
Speaker
ah Like, everybody is scary. Everybody looks like they could star in a Rob Zombie movie. And then Ben Affleck is just like this shiny diamond in the middle of. It's a beautiful boy. ah So, yeah, he he he comes out. He tells Ashley, I'm Nick. And, you know, they go off to to grab some brunch together. And it is so awkward because I hated being on the state with them.
00:25:40
Speaker
you did you Did you not like the fact that they started talking about the weather and the wind chill? Five years in prison, he forgot how to talk to girls. I mean, it's not all that surprising, I suppose. Also, how often has he ever had to talk to girls? He's Ben Affleck. He looks like that. He's never had to like make small talk with a woman in his life. They just tear off their clothes the second they see him.
00:26:08
Speaker
Which basically happens after this cup of coffee. That is basically what happens. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is it the next thing you know, they are having really fun looking sex in. This is two hot people smashing bodies together. Yeah. They're knocking. They knock that crappy TV off the dresser. They're fucking on the dresser. They're on the bed. They fall off the bed. They don't care. They just keep screwing on the ground.
00:26:39
Speaker
the The place is trashed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're getting his cheeks. You're getting her cheeks. He's sucking boobies. he is This is a pretty spicy sex scene for this early in a Christmas action comedy.
00:26:57
Speaker
Well enjoy it cause you're not going to get much more. I'm so sorry. I mean, not, and you know, you know, it's not nothing. Like there is ah more later, but this one, so I guess they didn't rehearse the scene and they just kind of, they just started having fun. They yeah did great, I gotta say. Like they were just like scoop.
00:27:22
Speaker
it It was the soundtrack to the last movie we watched. But yeah, they so the cameramen just had it was just two guys with steady cams in there. And they they were just like, let them go and follow their lead um around, see what they do. And what they did was have ah what looks like a ah really good time.
00:27:41
Speaker
Yeah, they they're making out through this movie is pretty believable. Yes. With anyone Charlize kisses through the movie, which you'll come on to, we'll get to later. You get the feeling they all know they're getting to make out with Charlize Theron and they're real excited about it.
00:27:59
Speaker
Yeah, this is a weird time. I feel like the way Charlize Theron's career has gone, but she obviously she's still a very, very ah pretty lady, but she's played such badass women a in movies that now I think like it's hard for me to picture this sweet cutesy version of Charlize Theron because I fear for my life.
00:28:24
Speaker
that Furiosa or Cypher from the Fast and Furious movies are going to beat the shit out of me. Well, it turns out you that instinct would have served you well if you were Ben Affleck. So, ah yeah, they get into this motel room with with some snacks and boom, he is getting the absolute crap beaten out of him.
00:28:48
Speaker
by Danny Trejo and uh... Donalogue. Yeah, yeah, which was apparently supposed to be Vin Diesel in that part. It's funny, the conflicting stories with what happened with Vin Diesel being in that part.
00:29:07
Speaker
Yes, with some saying that he was he was demanding a bunch of money and rewrites and others being like, no, he just wanted to get fired so he could get on Fast and Furious, which I would believe that's a that's a lead role in a better much better movie.
00:29:25
Speaker
For sure. I think that probably is pretty believable, but also that behavior doesn't sound unlike behavior we're still hearing from him from the sets of the Fast and Furious films. That's fair, too. That's... Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not... I actually really liked Donald Logue in that part. I do, too. He plays perfect, doofy henchmen that I don't think Vin Diesel would have really gotten that same vibe. And Danny Trejo, the three henchmen in this, Danny Trejo looks deflated and and twenty in
00:30:03
Speaker
It makes me think like Danny Trejo might be on the gas for these later roles, because he's always like shirtless and buff as fuck. And this guy, he is the shortest of all the men in this movie, and just small. Aw.
00:30:18
Speaker
Yeah, I guess I hadn't really thought of that. You know what? I mean, he just, he had pure charisma. He didn't need the big muscles. Plus they explained that he's going to night school and ah they sold him business week and ah talking about how they should add Christmas too to help ah juice business in the United States. And I love it. it See, he the reason he's not so inflated is because he's, he's investing in the mind.
00:30:47
Speaker
yeah That was a legitimately very funny scene. yes Like that made me laugh out loud. because the So we've got the three henchmen and we've got Gary Sinise who looks like he hasn't changed anything since he was Lieutenant Dan.
00:31:07
Speaker
Like Gary Sinise is the shittiest looking scumbag in this movie. Like they couldn't have made anyone look shittier and slimier than Gary Sinise. dairy sunise so part where he's like sitting on the jukebox in his little guitaring air guitar and he's wearing all black with a stringy hair. He looks hilarious. It is so funny.
00:31:35
Speaker
And then he gives that speech about how hard, you know, his life is because I guess he's a long haul trucker who also runs guns. And this, ah ah this upcoming ah casino heist is gonna be where he gets what he you know deserves and he's finally gonna get some money and it's like how are you not making money as a long haul trucker who also runs guns my man like
00:32:10
Speaker
And you screwed up both crime and a real job that is known to pay really well. The hours are considered terrible, but like you get paid really well. What have you done with it? Did you spend it all on um cut off like black tank tops? Is that where you' all of your money went? It was those Oakley sunglasses that he wears when it's private. Yeah, must've been.
00:32:41
Speaker
And he clearly owns his own truck because that truck is very customized. Hidden doors. and they They are very funny criminals. They're not good at it. And it's genuinely pretty funny that that they're not good at it.
00:32:58
Speaker
and how poor they are. Yes. Yeah. like They are scraped together like a hundred bucks to go pretend to be a high roller in a casino. They don't have that kind of cash. Danny Trejo is so mad because Ben Affleck bought pay-per-view. Which was also very funny. Affleck always, any scene, he is mouthy or does something that is going to get him beaten by these men. And he does not. like every He takes his lumps, I gotta say. He knows that what he's doing is gonna get his ass kicked, and he's just okay with it. You know what? I think everyone was really wrong on the critic scores and everything for this movie. Do you know how this movie seemed so much fun to write? Because like it is a constant state of Gary Sinise giving Christmas-themed one-liners.
00:33:51
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Don't you play any reindeer games with me, boy? You want to slide down my my sister sister's chimney? Because we find out that Gary Sinise is the brother of Ashley, Charlize Theron. Yes. And that he read her letters and ah found out that she's dating um a prisoner who used to work at a casino and he wants to now use that insider information to rob the casino.
00:34:20
Speaker
But of course we have mistaken identity because Ben Affleck isn't really Nick, the casino worker who did time in prison for, who did less time in prison for manslaughter than Ben Affleck was doing for Grand Theft Auto, I want to point out. like Well, he says in voiceover at the beginning regarding that, he said, that's just the way things work out sometimes. That's just the way things work out sometimes.
00:34:51
Speaker
His public defender probably got him a real shitty should he deal. Yeah, meanwhile, I guess ah his buddy had a great one ah for his manslaughter case. How nice is it, though, that they were cellmates but became best friends? I mean, you know, I could see being in prison getting appointed a roommate could be a real rough situation. You know what? Maybe, though, they became friends and then requested to be roommates afterwards. That can happen.
00:35:20
Speaker
Can you transfer rooms in prison? You can actually, you can, you can request like, I want to sleep. I learned this from, I learned this from, uh, no, from a podcast. Um, that apparently, yes, they, they really do want people to, uh, get along with their cellmates and not cause trouble. So yes, they will accommodate frequently. Um, I mean, not every prison obviously is the same, but like they will frequently accommodate requests for cellmates.
00:35:49
Speaker
Well, I'm glad it worked out for these two and that they were gonna get out on the same day. Did it work out? Did it work out for them, Garrett? Well, Ben Affleck got to touch butts and have his hot yeah chocolate. He got to lick a booby. He got to have the hot chocolate. He got to watch that pay-per-view on Danny Trejo's time.
00:36:10
Speaker
I fucking love this era of Affleck. Like this is my, he did so much fun stuff during the time. Cause he's got that shit eating grin on all the time. I know like there was an evolution of Affleck and the type of picture he does and him as a director and kind of making a little bit more prestigious picture with like his own. I mean he's wonderful in the tender bar, I gotta say. He's so good in that.
00:36:34
Speaker
God, that's such a ah comfort movie for me. It's just such a light good. He's so good. But this era just handsome, like hasn't had the life beat out of him yet by the general public, other than having the life beat out of him by Gary Sinise. So many times, so many times. Yeah, there's one of my favorite bits in here is, ah you know, that these guys are beating the crap out of him and telling him like they need him to help them rob a casino.
00:37:04
Speaker
And he's like, you got the wrong guy. I am not actually the pen pal that your sister was writing to. I am the cellmate of that guy. And I lied. That man's dead. I lied. so And he's like, so wait, you lied so you could slide down my sister's chimney. And he's like, yes. And he says, did you really think that was going to help your cause? but just And punches him in the face. And you're like,
00:37:33
Speaker
so that No, you thought I was just gonna tell this guy yeah, I lied to your sister so that I could have sex with her and that He was gonna be fine with that he was not gonna he he was gonna stop beating the crap out of you and instead leave you alone because you said you lied so you could have sex with his sister and Oh, Gary Sinise's delivery on that is so good. So good, too. Like, there are moments in this movie that do kind of suck. But there's like, I think there's some genuinely good myths here. the I think the good bits outweigh the the shitty dumbness of some of it. I just I think people need to revisit this one.
00:38:18
Speaker
Yeah, so Charlie's there and tells him like, listen, if you keep saying you didn't do it, and that you're not Nick, that you're not the guy, they're gonna kill you. My brothers killed people before. um And it starts to become clear that she she knew this was gonna happen.
Casino Heist Comedy
00:38:36
Speaker
And, ah well, crap. So he's like, fine, but I wanna see some hot chocolate. and some goddamn pecan fucking pie.
00:38:54
Speaker
So he gets it. He gets his hot chocolate and his pie. They take him to a diner and they start asking him questions about about this casino he's never seen before. They they show him their hand-drawn map. And he quite cleverly comes up with like, oh, this doesn't look anything like like your map is crappy. And they're like, what are you talking about? We just cased the joint. He's like, oh, they must have changed the place since I was there.
00:39:20
Speaker
You're the line, the line that he says regarding the map, you, uh, you niced it up a little bit. Cause it was certainly a do that. oh It was ah a line that won't be in a movie in 2024.
00:39:34
Speaker
Yeah, you can't say that in a movie now. and These guys are so fucking dumb though. like it' It's so clear that they don't know what they're doing. like At one point, he actually finds out, like not long after this, he's like, so how many ah casinos have they robbed before? like How many robberies have they done? And Charlize Theron's like, they've never robbed anywhere before they they're truckers who who run guns on the side it's it's so weird though because like he you know straight up tells them quickly i'm not that guy then they beat him up and he's like okay i'm the guy
00:40:17
Speaker
But then he's in the back of this truck with Charlize Theron. Donald Logge just has a pair of headphones on to his Walkman. And Affleck's just like sitting there having a conversation with her like, I'm really not the guy. I'm absolutely 100% not the guy. like These guys now think I'm the guy. Donald Logge is hearing this conversation and never is like, hey, pulls his headphone off to be like, it seems like he this guy isn't the guy. it seems like No, he does later so tell Gary Sinise though that like, hey, I heard them talking. He said he's not the guy to her. I understand why he'd tell us he's not the guy, but why would he tell her he's not the guy? And so then they, they hold him at gunpoint and make him answer questions about, about Charlize Theron.
00:41:11
Speaker
It is really just a long series of scenes back and forth of just like, I'm the guy, I'm not the guy. And it doesn't seem like they have no idea and they don't really care. No, just and it's it's really strange. ah It does feel like they're belaboring the point. Like, is he the guy? Is he not the guy? Why does she still seem to act like he's the guy, even though he's explicitly told her he's not the guy? Well, that gets answered later. A lot of these things get answered later.
00:41:41
Speaker
I love, so they go to stake out the casino and they can't let him be seen because the boss will recognize him. So they, he's like the boss isn't gonna recognize me. And they're like, why would the boss not recognize you? He's like, cause you're gonna put me in a disguise. A lovely cowboy costume.
00:42:02
Speaker
Yes, and ah what's his name? Merlin the third ah henchman is like, what do you say to Santa's dwarves when they give you a gift like this cowboy costume you're gonna wear? He's like, it's elves. And that is a recurring joke that this guy keeps saying Santa's dwarves. That's what we're at with this movie.
00:42:28
Speaker
I just love that they're sending him into the casino. He's like, well, you've got to give me some money. I can't just go in there with nothing. And and they hand him like a crumpled up 10. Yes. And then these guys are. Yeah. where What happened to their trucker money? Were they really like terrible truckers or like you said, maybe bad investments? I don't know. They spent all the money painting that truck to have that really cool decal on the side. I don't know.
00:42:56
Speaker
When the casino is hilarious, it's a very shitty casino in the middle of nowhere. It looks like a broken down movie theater from the outside. It's what I got. It looks like an abandoned movie theater and instead it is in fact a casino in the upper peninsula of Michigan and clearly struggling.
00:43:21
Speaker
And apparently Dennis Farina is here ah as their Vegas consultants, I guess is his job. Such a funny scumbag of that time period. Just like always like a shady dude in movies. And I love the shit they're doing to try and make the casino profitable or better. They walk in and it sounds like a busy casino, then suddenly it just goes dead silent. And then you see him run to a tape recorder, pick up a cassette tape that says big winners do or something, put it in, and they're just pumping the noise of fun casino so over the loud speaker. It is really, really funny that they've just plopped that tape in and it's like, and then the sounds of of people enjoying a casino.
00:44:13
Speaker
And he is talking to the Native American guys that own the casino about what he's doing to make the casino better. And the funniest thing he says is regarding the buffet. He goes, this buffet has both Coke and Pepsi. You aren't going to find that anywhere else. I want to point out, he says that after he points out, I got the girls showing 16% more skin.
00:44:39
Speaker
So that's what he's done for them. He's got 16% more skin and the buffet serves Coke and Pepsi. I don't know how this place could possibly fail. And I do love that every time they see one of the cocktail racers says she talks about how freezing she is, because she now has to wear, you know, show 16% more skin, presumably. And you know, they're not shelling out for enough heat here in this, this ah cold Michigan weather.
00:45:07
Speaker
Well, an Affleck ordering his drink too, when he says, I'll have a ah Jack and Coke. And the guy says, do you want that with Pepsi or Coke? Yeah, they really want you to know. They're like, Hey, we got both. Just little details and what they were saying. It was thought out. They're really fucking funny. Dennis Farina also keeps saying, I can't go back to Vegas. They'll kill me. That's never explained. I love that.
00:45:35
Speaker
i Even like towards the end of this movie, when he is bleeding out, he's still saying, I can't go back to Vegas. They'll kill me. Oh my god.
00:45:48
Speaker
Farina is telling he's like when you first meet him, he is telling the owners of the casino that their biggest problem is snow that like they need to do some sort of he says so many racist things, but like that they need to basically do some sort of like weather dance to get rid of the snow because that is the chief problem with their income is that there's too much snow for people to come out and gamble.
00:46:17
Speaker
that they're not just like a roadside casino. They are an international gaming destination. And- I'm bringing in these three lounge, these three German lounge singers. These broads look like, they all look like- Like Meryl Streep. Like Meryl Streep. He said they all look like Meryl Streep and they can juggle anything. This, it is so funny. Genuinely, he's killing this part. He's doing so much. Their endgame couldn't be funnier than robbing the shittiest casino in the world. Right. Honestly, I wish they had they had done all this and there wasn't any damn money in the place because of how like and it's really funny. You know how um in like Ocean's 11 or 13, whichever in in heist movies, they're always like we want to go on the day where they have the most money in the casino.
00:47:15
Speaker
like a big fight day or something, you know, when they have to have a lot of cash in the casino. Here they want to go when the casino is most dead, least likely to have any cash on hand at all.
00:47:31
Speaker
That's how good they are genius this job. From this point, I don't know, like that we're kind of in a little bit of a cat and mouse for several scenes. It does get a little repetitive, but they find ways to keep it fun. yeah And this is where Affleck tries to sneak out and pays young Ashton Kutcher to switch clothes with him. That was a great bit. That was funny. Genuinely surprised Ashton Kutcher didn't get killed.
00:48:01
Speaker
The scene that follows that though of Affleck running from them, gets away, runs through the woods, they're all chasing him. This is actually a really great action chasing that leads into something that scares the shit out of me and that's getting trapped under ice. Yeah, yeah. Charlize Theron goes under the ice and then for no good reason, he goes in after her. Don't do that.
00:48:29
Speaker
He's kind of a good guy, kind of. He's kind of our hero. Then you're just getting stuck under there with her. You need to try to get her out through the hole that already exists. and Otherwise you both drown. But he had that really cool little shotgun and was blowing holes through the ice to get them out. And we do see Gary Sinise be genuinely insane and scary in this scene.
00:48:51
Speaker
Yes, when he goes after that poor ice fisherman who just was like, hey, do you guys need any help? And instead of just being like, nah, we're good. He's like, I gotta kill that guy. and he kills him in a very creative way. Fills his little shanty up with bullets so the guy does get hit, goes in and the guy's like, please, I'm just a farmer. It's actually a very dark, sadistic scene. yes And you think that Gary Sinise is just missing him, but what he has done is shot all the ice around him so the guy just sinks and drowns. Well, the good news is the cold probably killed him. It's hard to, oh my God, but this this, them going back to the hotel after this,
00:49:32
Speaker
Mm hmm. Which I do want to point out that the motel room that they have, uh, Ben Affleck staying in has like a weird castle theme where there's like the wallpaper is meant to look like castle like stones. And then there's like a little fake arch. It is hilarious. It's really good. It's really, really good.
00:49:58
Speaker
This scene, when they get back though, is the first scene in the movie where I'm like, oh, maybe this movie does suck. And that is, ah we found something that Affleck doesn't do well. And that is pretend to have hypothermia. Yes. It is goofy. It is bad. It is like in Winter's Tale when that child present pretends to have a seizure.
00:50:23
Speaker
Uh, yeah, so they're hanging out in the little game room of the motel, which hilarious two kids come in there and they're like, yeah, pinball. And then the big thugs throw them out. And, um,
00:50:38
Speaker
He's like, we're gonna have a darts competition. Me versus you. You know, whoever gets closer to the bullseye gets what they want. And he does this knowing that Ben Affleck is and freezing to death, shaking so hard that he just drops the dart. It's so sadistic and kind of funny. It's very good. But then yes, Gary Sinise starts throwing darts at Ben Affleck. Um,
00:51:06
Speaker
which I don't know how much that would hurt, but it certainly looks like it hurts. I have been hit with a dart like that. Have you? On purpose. Who did this to you? Actually, it would have been around the time this movie came out year-wise and my neighbor was a dick and I went over to see if he wanted to hang out and he didn't. And as I was walking away, I dropped to the ground and turned around and pulled a dart out of the back of my leg.
00:51:35
Speaker
ah We aren't friends anymore, Kit. Shocked. I'm shocked to hear this. I never would have... How much did it hurt and would it work as a form of torture by Gary Sinise?
00:51:49
Speaker
So this is what I think Affleck reacts really big to each one of these darts. And I don't know if it's because his body's so frozen, or because it actually hurts. Because Steve-O used to do this nightly on tour, where he would have like, he would set up like a bullseye on his ass or something and like people would throw darts at him.
00:52:10
Speaker
And his reaction was tolerance is going to be different than Ben Affleck. Affleck has been just willingly taking beatings to play goofs on these guys. That is true. But the darts like, I don't know. I think that he overreacts and it did say that the dart thing was, uh, the pain and suffering was extended. This was like a big extension and the director's cut.
00:52:36
Speaker
they wanted to make it more tortuous, torturous. And they did make it seem more like a saw trap than I think it really was. I think I'm sure it hurt. I mean, like I'm sure it did too. But yeah, and then he's, he's freezing and, and, uh, Charlize Theron's cuddling him up in the, in the blankets to try to keep him from freezing to death.
Major Plot Twist in 'Reindeer Games'
00:53:00
Speaker
Um,
00:53:02
Speaker
And then then he's decided now that he wants to get in on this heist. He wants to like to to get a gun and and take down Gary Sinise and steal all the money for himself. And also there's Santa outfits now.
00:53:19
Speaker
Yeah, he's he's broken out of his room. He's cat and mousing around the the hotel. Originally he was gonna escape, but then he sees the guys and he has to get back to his room and get himself chained back up to his bed. But in the midst of all this is where we get our big twist. Which is we, know he hears, there's too many fucking twists. Like the twist is what I think ruins this movie, not this twist.
00:53:45
Speaker
real But a later you think i I do ah I think one twist was enough But it we'll get to that This twist, we hear Charlize Theron yelling. It sounds like she's in pain or like scared. And Affleck sees her in the pool with her brother. And then- And she's like, why'd you shoot at the ice? you made you know You nearly killed me. Fair. Even if that was your brother, that's a totally fair argument to have. Why'd you shoot at the ice and send me nearly to my death, bro? Turns out, not bro.
00:54:18
Speaker
Or if it is bro, that's. Then we've done two incest movies in a row. we've Done two incest movies in a row. I did write that down. I was like, Oh no. Did we accidentally do another incest movie? No. Uh, she is not his sister. She is in fact his girlfriend. She was in on this all along and, uh, uh, crazy shit. yeah is that, yeah, so she's banging her her boyfriend, which is you her brother, Gary Sinise. not her brothers I think the craziest thing is that Gary Sinise sees Ben Affleck and is like, yeah, Charlize Theron wants to be with me.
00:55:05
Speaker
ah her Because he's, well, we did establish he's gone. And then when Charlize Theron is like, the whole time I was having sex with him, I was thinking about you. It's like, do you really believe that, man? Do you really believe that? You took one look at Ben Affleck. And now when this woman says she's thinking about you while fucking him, can you believe that? Are you sure you do in your heart of hearts, Gary Sinise? Maybe that's why you're really so mad.
00:55:34
Speaker
That red-headed curly guy when he's having sex with Ariana Grande is thinking about Ben Affleck. All thinking about Ben Affleck. It's so true, though. ah Yeah, so he has to run back to the room to get there before anybody finds out that he's loose. um And ah then we find out that he, that night, I guess, bought a bunch of pay-per-view and and drank all the minibar drinks just to skirt with them. Danny Trejo.
00:56:04
Speaker
that was on my credit card. bless great lord There's some real you're right. There are some really funny bits in this movie. And then once we get to this heist, the casino's dead and they go in and just- And they're all for pretending to be various mall Santas and department stores. disgruntled Santas. Various department store disgruntled Santas who are there officially now off the job. You know, it's Christmas Eve, therefore we're done. So we're going to go gamble and uh, uh,
00:56:40
Speaker
our Our boy Affleck gets to be the diversion Santa who flips the the poker table or the blackjack table, I guess, and there's a big old shootout. It is violent and has no gun throughout this. He just has a water gun filled with rum.
00:56:58
Speaker
which is hilarious, I gotta say. Which is hilarious. And yeah, it is a violent shootout. Like these, those security guards, everybody is just getting absolutely blown away. It is bloody. It is. Yes. It is pretty gruesome. Some of like the shots people are taking. The a couple cops run in and you think that, you know, maybe this whole thing is going to turn out okay. um And then Charlize Theron,
00:57:25
Speaker
drives her car into the cops, like through into the building, bam, right into the cops. And you realize that nobody here is is fucking around. this is This is getting gross in many ways.
00:57:44
Speaker
One of the funniest, so he's got the, he ends up killing one of the henchmen that he's with in another Santa costume. As the henchman is lighting a cigarette, spraying the rum squirt gun into it, you have never seen fire ignite faster. And I, and honestly, it makes me mayor nervous. this act been ever clear it It makes me nervous how flammable a Santa costume is because the guy goes from not on fire to a full body burn in a matter of one second. Second. and Yeah. Well, you know, that thing is entirely polyester. So yeah, that's real flammable. But yeah, he does also bring back the joke about Santa's dwarves.
00:58:29
Speaker
Um, you know, so that he can die with that line, um, being repeated back to him ironically, the next thing, you know, um, Gary's starting to realize that, uh, he got bad information. He runs up the stairs and he was told that like, on your right is the count or on your right is the manager's office. It's not, it's a wall. And then the next thing he finds is a ah broom closet. And then he finds the actual.
00:58:59
Speaker
like office for the manager, he's starting to realize maybe Ben Affleck didn't know shit. But he still doesn't question it. I mean, there's ah another big shootout. They do get out of there with all the money. And it's not until they're basically. The number of times where like they are faced with very clear information that this guy is not the guy, that Ben Affleck is not the guy.
00:59:27
Speaker
And and they don't they don't pick up on it because they're all too fucking stupid. like Isn't it kind of fun though? Because most, you're not used to having such incompetent villains. Like you're usually like kind of a suave, like they've got a plan and like the good guy has to foil the plan. this They're dumb, they're poor, they don't have a plan. And Ben Affleck is just like fucking with them and making things hard and worse yeah for the whole movie. In every way that he possibly can. And it's it's really, quite funny. But yeah, so long ago, they they realized when you know ah one of them talked to a cocktail waitress and was like, when was the remodel? And she's like, this place hasn't been remodeled in forever. And it's like, ah letting you with you? So dumb.
01:00:26
Speaker
The only people left at this point once we're outside is Charlize, Gary Sinise, and Affleck. Yeah, everybody else gets shot. it turns Ben Affleck was like, there's no guns in the count room. Oh, there are guns in the count room, y'all. And a lot of people get shot because of it.
01:00:44
Speaker
Yeah, Uzi's come out of a safe at one point. But it's the the thing that like truly makes them be like, oh, I don't think that Affleck is the guy, is when Charlize Theron gives up the line, when somebody takes a shiv for you and you let you do this to them, he's like, wait, how did you know she was he was shivved? I never told you that. And Gary Sinise starts being like, yeah, wait a minute. I think you might be lying to me too.
01:01:12
Speaker
Well, no, no, no, no, no, because first Dennis Farina was like, that's not Nick. They got Dennis Farina and, and they're like, don't you recognize your old employee? And he's like, what are you I don't want to go to Vegas. I don't want to go to Vegas. Let's kill me. But yeah, so they get the money. They drive off with.
01:01:33
Speaker
Ben Affleck held hostage basically and they're going to drive it. They're going to light a car on fire and like drive it off the cliff with Ben Affleck in it so that it looks like this is a very bad plan because they're very bad criminals. They're going to make it look like he died ah with all the money on hand and ah He's like, you're a bad person. She's like, you don't get to talk to me about being a bad person. A guy took a shiv for you in prison and you stole his girlfriend. And yes, he's like, what are you talking about? I never told you he took a shiv and I definitely didn't say anything about for me. And she's like, yeah, he did. And he's like, no, I didn't. I just said he died. And yeah, Gary Sinise is like, Hey, wait a minute. And that is when we find out the next twist, which is
01:02:28
Speaker
Nick was never dead and he's the mastermind behind it all.
Final Twist and Action Climax
01:02:33
Speaker
Yep, he's alive. Somehow the chain of logic makes no sense. He paid the NFL guy to stab him in prison. It was kind of like the scream plan, like just don't stab me too deep. Don't stab me too good. Well, and he had a blood pack to make it look extra good, I guess.
01:02:55
Speaker
I think this last five minutes of the movie, like yeah, once he kills everybody and Affleck, you know, kind of saves the day for himself, but really no one else. It's fine, but it's just like an extra twist that I didn't care about or really need, like it was just like one step too much. She was never Ashley. She was k Nick's girlfriend that he went to prison for in the first place because he committed manslaughter ah while protecting her, like standing up for her to a guy at a bar. It was her the whole time. She was ski she was she was scheming against the criminals.
01:03:38
Speaker
and him, it's like so many layers of deception. She's like, I never fuck the wrong guy, which was a good line. It was a good line.
01:03:50
Speaker
I do like that they tied Affleck up in the car then you know he's and he says the fit like a cool line where he says something like, never leave a car thief behind the wheel and hot wires it and smashes and his buddy. Yeah, he tried he reverses to to break Nick's legs, then goes forward to hit Charlize Theron. Send her flying off a cliff. Send her flying off the cliff.
01:04:15
Speaker
I miss these types of movies so much where a car flies off a cliff, hits one second delay, enormous explosion. That's how every car crash should be. This is the perfect time. You remember in Van Helsing though, when they did that with a goddamn carriage?
01:04:33
Speaker
no that's really funny though it's extremely funny like they were just so used to the idea of like cargo off cliff car explode that they didn't really think about the fact that like that's ah a horse and buggy type was there a horse attached to it and the horse exploded too the horse did not explode god damn it if they if it if it hit and the horse is what exploded that would have been
01:04:58
Speaker
Yeah, so that's that's the big the big twist. and And he pretty quickly gets out of the bad situation. All of them die. And he takes the cash and puts it in every mailbox from here to his parents house where he finally gets to have Christmas with the family. but yeah And everybody got some stolen money that has his fingerprints all over it. Like there's no way Ben Affleck isn't going back to jail at the end of this. It's his cellmate that they're gonna find dead in that truck.
01:05:30
Speaker
And it just, but it ends on that great Affleck smile as the movie fades. Yep. He did not take a shower. He is still covered in soot and wearing that ratty Santa costume. But he's there at Christmas with his family and he didn't even take the money. he He gave all the money away. It was, it was all about just being home in time for Christmas.
01:05:55
Speaker
I really think that people should consider throwing this into the Christmas rotation. It's honestly, I enjoyed it and it's very Christmasy, you know? It's like as an alternative Christmas, like not a Christmas cheery movie, but just like a movie that, because there there's a ton of movies that we've started throwing into rotation that just like take place during the holidays, but Christmas isn't the theme of the movie. Oh yeah, this is much more so than Die Hard, a Christmas movie.
01:06:25
Speaker
Yeah, this is like straight up, i I mean, this is a Christmas movie and I don't really ever see it on lists other than like, this movie's bad. And it's not perfect, but like it falls during that same time of like, yeah it's towards the end of this run, but when we were getting like the rock con air face off, like that type of action movie, I feel like this fell in line to that like,
01:06:51
Speaker
funny almost Jerry Bruckheimer feel of like a silly fun action comedy where the action is still really good. The comedy is still really good. This movie pretty sexy like sexier than any of those I just named. Absolutely. You don't get to see me Bruce Willis's ass during Die Hard. You don't get to see As ah far as I'm aware, any boobies in, uh, in most rough timers, this is a fun movie. I, ah really watching this was fun, i knew it but I
Arousal Factor and Sex Scene
01:07:29
Speaker
enjoyed it for sure. And I didn't know any of the twists were coming because I had not seen this movie before. So that was fun. I had fun. So Garrett, where are you aroused? That was a good sex scene. Get.
01:07:43
Speaker
I mean, it's a really good sex scene. Yeah, you only get one, but in a lot of the movies we watch, we only get like one big sex scene. And yeah, they usually happen early. And this one, they threw in Charlize Theron naked a little later into the movie, just to remind you that the movie is still kind of sexy. Just in case you forgot, just in case you forgot what her boobies looked like, here you go. And they don't make you see Gary Sinise cheeks.
01:08:08
Speaker
I would have and not mind it. That would be fun. Clearly on this podcast, we accept all the view that is given to us. We are in of all God's cheeks or beautiful cheeks. Not necessarily, but I want to see all of them. All God's cheeks will be displayed before Garrett's eyes. he's not Show us your ass. Show us your ass.
01:08:35
Speaker
So as far as was I aroused, ah I mean, I'd say this one's higher than quite a few of the movies we've watched. I would say that sex scene lands it closer into the three to four range. um the Especially with the director's cut, I think we get like a thrust that's left out of the the R rated cut. Thrust, thrust, thrust.
01:08:57
Speaker
They roll onto the floor, she rises. It's really fun. Yeah, I would give it a two and a half, I would say. Two and a half. That feels a little low, that ah especially to two needed more people who went on to be superstars. That's true. Academy Award winners. I'm still leaving it at two and a half because I wanted more. I mean, we always want more, but I think you give it your rating.
01:09:25
Speaker
Okay, I think that that was a little low. I think it it deserves at least a three. I'll go three and a half. Okay. Were you thrilled? Absolutely. Absolutely. Them getting stuck under the ice is a nightmare for me. Like ah the fear of drowning. it's It's a little claustrophobic with the can't get it. Get above the ice. I'm rolling down the hill before that is in the number of times that he is almost caught um as being not the guy and then somehow managed to just convince them that he is the guy.
01:10:00
Speaker
It's pretty up there in terms of anxiety inducing. Yeah, honestly, this is just a fun thriller. I once again go three and a half. I'll go three and a half on the thrills as well, yeah. I think I will also go- I'm not worried about anybody, but I'm a real man. No, but that's because they established that from the beginning, you know that no one here is an angel, not even Gabriel.
01:10:28
Speaker
But you know that none of them are good people. Nobody got here because they were making good choices. And so it's OK for them to live with those consequences. It feels like it's OK for them to live with those consequences. And so, yeah, I would put it out of three, three and a half seems seems about right. And um would you ruin your life for Charlize Theron?
Romance vs. Morality: Is It Justified?
01:10:53
Speaker
Think about where Nick's coming from. oh i have spent He has spent two years in a bed staring at photos of her, hearing about how great she is, and some of those photos very sexy. I mean, it's Charlize Theron. She is a gorgeous movie star. Our boy Rudolph here has spent two years listening to his cellmate talk about his hot, hot girlfriend.
01:11:18
Speaker
seeing pictures of her, hearing her terrible poetry about how much she loves and misses him and wants to have sex with him. And all he's got to think about is hot chocolate and pecan pie. So if I just got out of prison, I saw the one, cause you know he himself has masturbated to those photos of her on that wall. Absolutely he has. Every night probably. Now she's there. She's available.
01:11:48
Speaker
and the devil on the shoulders barking at you. And in your mind, the consequences are gonna be so light. You don't know how bad this is gonna go, but it's so easy. It's so easy. Like it's just on a platter right there. Yes, I think the devil on the shoulder is gonna bark at me here if I'm in Ben Affleck's situation. So yes, I would ruin my life for Charlize Theron and reindeer games. I'm kind of curious what like how their plan would have gone down if Ben Affleck had been like,
01:12:16
Speaker
He went out there and he saw her and he was like, Hey, um, I'm Nick's roommate or tell me, and I just, I'm so sorry to tell you this, but he died yesterday. And, um, you know, there's just not much, uh, I can say to make this better. I know it's the holidays and, um, I'm just, I'm really sorry. Um, he told me all about you. You seem like a really great person. And, uh, I know he was really looking forward to this and, um,
01:12:46
Speaker
Boy, i I just I feel so terrible about it. mean You know, like they went out for that diner breakfast. Like what was her plan going to be if he had done the right thing? I think she plays it off as if.
01:13:03
Speaker
she He still co goes with her and she basically asks him to have sex with her in a comforting way. She convinces the other guys he talked about this casino and knows a bunch of stuff because of him. ok Plus yeah he's an experienced criminal and you need an experienced criminal because that they specifically enough plan. Well, and they said that at the at the end that if he didn't go along with it, she was still going to be able to convince them to go through with it anyway. Yeah. Yeah, that's so I think they had contingencies. It just so happened that they knew that Ben Affleck was going to fall for for the bait.
01:13:46
Speaker
I don't think there's a version of this where she doesn't have sex with him. I think- No, because she took one look at him and was like, he never mentioned. that this cellmate was Ben Affleck. She's like, God damn, it's worth a shot. Hell yes. Let me get a crack at that. So yeah, I think either way, he took the naughty route to get there, but I think all routes lead to that. Maybe it's a different type of sex though, I don't know. A sad sex. Maybe it's like not as... Not as acrobatic. Yeah, but even sad sex
01:14:23
Speaker
Mm hmm. I'm waiting for where you're going with this. I'm trying to remember what movie I watched recently that was reminiscent of the. In Monsters Ball, when Halle Berry has sex with Billy Bob Thornton, the make me feel good scene. Oh, was that something we watched or was that something I watched on my own? I think this was just you alone staring.
01:14:48
Speaker
I don't know, but either way, it's a different type of- Different type of sex, but still- It can be ravenous in its own way, but this way they went, looked very, very fun. It did look very fun. I would say that, yes, I get it. I would also end up making the same mistake as Ben Affleck. I would ruin my life for Charlize Theron. I would.
01:15:08
Speaker
Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. I like her teeth in this movie. she um they're like she's got They're not perfect like they are. Yeah. yeah And I think there's something like a there's that makes her more cuter. it's me Yeah, it's and more relatable, you know? Relatable type of cute. But Garrett, how much did this put you in the holiday spirit?
01:15:30
Speaker
A lot! A lot! It's not Christmas adjacent. It's like, we see them go holiday shopping. We see Christmas trees and lights everywhere. The bad guys are doing Christmas one-liners throughout it. There's nothing more Christmas-y than that. Santa's dwarves brought you a great present this year is what I'm hearing.
01:15:52
Speaker
Yeah, this is, I put this high. this is This movie gets you in the holiday spirit, even though the director's cut is a little dark. I think if you go- And you do see so many dead Santas. Yeah, I think you go the other one, you're still gonna see a lot of death. You go theatrical cut, but I think it plays up the laughs more and doesn't linger on the darkness as much. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Kit. Mm-hmm. In the holiday spirit, you feeling it? you You know what? I I think so. I think this got me feeling jingle bells and Batman smells. I'm really. Yeah, we're we're here. We're we're we're tinsel and ah follow. I really do. I think so. Like it's it's not just aesthetic. You know, it it really is part of of the fabric of reindeer games. And it it did pull me in the mood.
01:16:50
Speaker
You got the real, uh, holiday spirit in here. So next time around, we've got eyes wide shut, but I think if this podcast somehow lasts another year, we find not something a different, a different holiday.
Future Holiday-Themed Thrillers
01:17:09
Speaker
We could, is there, uh, is there Hanukkah?
01:17:12
Speaker
erotic thrillers out there. Are there Kwanzaa erotic thrillers? What other... It doesn't have to be Santa and Jesus in our or Christmas movies or erotic thrillers. Let's see if we can we can find something else and make it more more festive for everybody. I love that. Let's get pan-religious coexist bumper sticker style ah holiday cheer in here.
Festive Farewell and Listener Interaction
01:17:38
Speaker
thank you for listening i hope you have yourself a slutty little christmas and you know at erotic thriller club on instagram erotic thriller club at gmail dot com if you have any like comments concern i believe a comment tell your friends If you're on the YouTubes, tell us where you arouse. Give us your scores. Thank Give us your scores. When you watch these movies. I'm curious. Like, are we wrong you for on some of these? I mean, subjective art listening. form. We all get boners in different ways. So true. You know, some of these work, some of them don't. I think this one works. All right, everybody. We love you. Thank you for listening. Wet your snails, jingle your bells. We want to shake you naked and eat you alive.