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g2g ttyl
52 Plays10 months ago
- Jared gets a tattoo of jesus
- We talk about what is crazy
- new direction for the podcast (inked up)
- damn bob marley was so cool
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Transcript
Introduction and Greetings
00:00:06
Speaker
Happy National Prayer Day. Stay prayed up. God bless you. Wake up, nigga, we gotta get this money.
Trust Issues and Humor
00:00:19
Speaker
Alright, so the gaming club today, for today is... Don't trust nobody. Don't trust nobody that you love. Man, I'm done with the animals.
00:00:37
Speaker
I've just stolen a toilet seat trying to put my seatbelt on. 100,000 lifetimes looking for the philosophy for stone and wasted my time when I should have been looking for that holy cry.
Alien Nutrition: A Question
00:01:01
Speaker
I have a question about the aliens. Are they nutritious? Do they have vitamins and minerals and protein and whatever else in them? Because they would definitely eat an alien if they were nutritious. Just saying.
Sports Debates and Confidence
00:01:19
Speaker
What's happening right here? No, the greatest. If you're from forever, you know who's here, right? Who's the best shooter in history forever? Right here, more than any of you England amateur wise. Any of you England amateur wise? Yeah, tell me you did the total job and changed things. I killed him. 3,200 placing agent. You can throw some powder. It smells like fish.
00:01:44
Speaker
Come after me because I'm a man and I can handle it when you make fun of how I look, how I act, and how I speak. This is America, baby. Let's go.
Podcast Promotion and Tattoos
00:01:56
Speaker
Welcome to Dudes R Us. Please review and subscribe to the podcast. We love you and care about you. Please think we are funny.
00:02:04
Speaker
This one is for Mohammed Okwolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol
00:02:34
Speaker
And no one even fucking noticed no one and no one notice. I've hung out with my family three times since I got tattooed and no one's noticed. Not that I care, but it's just funny. I'm putting on putting on a hat episode is going to get real sad. They don't. Putting on a hat, everyone's like, no, dude, why are you wearing a why are you wearing a baseball hat? You look weird.
00:03:03
Speaker
Got a new phone case. No one noticed. No one even noticed the phone case. No one noticed at all. Sorry, Jared. They don't think you're hard enough to get a tattoo, so they just assume it's pencil. Yeah, no. No, my sister noticed at the Super Bowl or the Super Bowl party, but that was funny.
00:03:37
Speaker
They don't even know I have a tattoo. Jared's that meme of the dude standing. Yeah, it's so funny. I don't even know I have a tattoo right now. They don't even know I have a podcast. They don't know they're in the same room as a tattooed podcaster. There we go. That's right. That's all of us, dude. That's what the podcast should be named. Oh my God. Guys with tattoos.
00:04:09
Speaker
Let's talk about our ink today. Yeah. Ooh, I'm itching for some ink. Oh my God, that's hilarious to say. You know, I'm itching for some ink. Honestly, I hate the fucking after after thing for tattoos and just like itchy.
00:04:32
Speaker
You have that fucking shitty weird looking spot on your arm where your hair takes like four months to grow back. Like just at the point where it looks the normal length of my arm hair. Nice. You think it's never coming back. Just like take who knew it took that long to grow arm hair. Can you can you barely see the tattoo now? Yeah. Oh,
00:05:03
Speaker
Because your arms, you have hairy arms. No, that's right. Nice, dude. Yeah, there's actually a pill for that. Yeah, it takes keeps for my arm. What? Does make you crazy aerodynamic, though. There's no drag on your arm.
00:05:34
Speaker
You feel like you could go out and just crush a bike race. How bad do you think all of those pills actually are for you? They're probably just nothing. Oh, really? It's probably just like weird herb stuff that doesn't really do anything.
Supplement Industry Critique
00:05:50
Speaker
It's all just CBD. CBD. I mean, this is not the format, but if anyone out there just wants me to come on their podcast and rant about D'Shea. What?
00:06:04
Speaker
The dietary supplement health and education act of 1994. Okay. Yeah, we won't talk about it, but that's why you can just sell like anything. You can just like anything that's like a health food or supplement or whatever. You can just like, as long as it, what about any trophy? As long as you're, as long as you're not making a claim, you know, so they are, they're always like these statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration. As long as you put that on the package, you can sell literally like
00:06:35
Speaker
worm shit. And be like, it promotes wellness and energy. And as long as you're like vague about what you're saying, and then you put that disclaimer, you can just do it. No one can stop you. Okay. Now you know.
00:07:02
Speaker
Kind of same same for the cannabis industry. It's whatever they want. Genuinely pretty ridiculous. But also at least people know. Maybe that's not true. I assume people know what they're getting themselves into and know and also know like this isn't like a miracle cure for everything.
00:07:31
Speaker
It's crazy that you would say that it's definitely a miracle cure for everything. I mean, it's definitely, it definitely helps people. No question about that. A lot of people find it helps them with a lot of things, but I also just think it's part of a, it's part of a, you know, bigger treatment. And I think with a lot of things, people go in being like, Hey, I'm going to take this and that's just going to fix everything. And that's never really how anything works.
00:08:01
Speaker
My two cents.
Super Bowl Disappointments and Pranks
00:08:05
Speaker
Jared, how'd you like the Super Bowl? Tug.
00:08:12
Speaker
Um, not, not the best, honestly. I mean, I wasn't really invested in either of the teams. I don't really like that. We're redoing 2020 or 2020 again. Um, you know, what was there like two actual touchdowns in the entire game? Come on. What is this football? And then fucking yeah, I just, just, I don't know.
00:08:43
Speaker
there's been better Super Bowls. That's what I'm getting at. I've been going on to serious artists lives that I could find of them doing art and they're like, hipster. And everybody in the comments are the live is super hipster and I just like keep
00:09:01
Speaker
doing this one where I go, you look like this guy, Tom, that rides a bike and they have read it off three times. Fucking idiot. That's awesome. Get them, dude. You look like Tom. Tom rides. I don't think I know these. Hey, everyone. I look like a guy, Tom, that rides a bike. Chad, who's the last one? Who's the Tom?
00:09:31
Speaker
Is that a what an idiot dude, is that a joke that I guess I look like a guy tom that rides a bicycle Yeah, no shit, dude. You are him Got him dude What
00:09:57
Speaker
Right before the podcast.
Busy Life Reflections and Tattoos
00:09:59
Speaker
I'm just thinking about how busy your life is. I just, I take a couple hours. It's probably 15 minutes. I sit, I linger for a little bit. I get in, I linger for a little bit and then I hit him with the jab and then everybody's like, what? No, he doesn't. That's how funny it was. Tom who rides the bus. Oh, fucking idiots, dude.
00:10:26
Speaker
Everybody like Andrew Dice Clay. Everybody else is like, Oh, is that a Castile marker? What kind of paint is that? Shut up, you fucking hipster. This guy was trying to fucking bullshit anyways, too. What was it? What? What?
00:10:54
Speaker
Oh, it sounded wrong for some reason. Does this do I still sound normal? Sounds like yourself. All right, great. No, I just had to double check. You all right? Yeah, I'm good, dude. You okay? You're good. All right. So now next time will be your fourth time.
00:11:21
Speaker
with your family and they haven't noticed anything. No, that was, no, that's not what happened.
00:11:39
Speaker
Oh yeah, you see that catch of Travis Kelce, his arm? What's that tattoo? Whoa. It's scratching your hair. Short sleeve shirts, doing some big head scratches. Oh my God. Just rolling up your sleeves. Yeah, over and over.
00:12:07
Speaker
Pass. Is anybody else hot? Pretty hot in here. Passing people's stuff. You know. Turning down the thermostat. Asking people after Tom who rides the bike. Oh, dude, how good of a bit is that? I know I have, I always think I'm like, damn, some of my bits are very one of one of people who think it's funny.
00:12:36
Speaker
And it's me that thinks it's hilarious that I fucking get on there. And I'm like, I mean, those are the best ones. You look like Tom who rides a bike. That's my guy, my friend, Tom who rides a bike. I think it's genuine enough and like odd enough that they read it every time. And they're like, what the hell? Yeah, you wouldn't, you would just go, you'd, yeah. But there, why would you think somebody's being,
00:13:02
Speaker
Fucking hipsters enough where they're after like read it back a hundred times Like Tom Tom riding a bike. I like bike. Well in like engagement in those lives like They're just so excited to have somebody on asking them questions and shit Fucking idiot. That's the phone Got him God
00:13:32
Speaker
You guys should try it sometime. Yeah, maybe. You don't think so? Think what? Oh, never mind. So what else is going on, Paul?
00:14:00
Speaker
Nothing. Just, you know, about to have a week off. Nice. Shit. Where are you going? Staycationing? Yeah. Nice. Staycation. Then you might go to Newport. Maybe spend a night in Newport. Nice. Right in the wintertime. Best. Nice and gray. Getting grateful dead.
00:14:28
Speaker
bear tattoo on you. I could do that. There we go. Yeah. One of the bears crossing the street. Maybe try one of these pre rolls. Oh, yeah. One of these goats. What are they called? Diamond infused pre rolls. Oh, God. Just get blast. Yeah, just gets so high.
00:14:58
Speaker
Yeah, I got I got pops a couple plus the the new. The new flower from our old from our place. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Nice. I can't remember which to how do you like it? I haven't smoked anybody yet, but it's the. Peach pie and sticky rice and ice cream back across with jealousy. Nice dude.
00:15:28
Speaker
Yeah, they both smell good. All right. I like the review. That's it. That's good. I like the smell of the peach pie and the sticky rice one better. That one's got some crazy GMO son to it. Very happy with that. These infused pre rolls are in like a like a like a blunt wrap almost.
00:15:55
Speaker
Yeah, I can't remember what that paper is, but it's, uh, some shit to smell like vanilla or something. I don't really smell like weed. They smell like the blunt wrap kind of Jared. What do you think about that?
Psychedelic Discussions
00:16:10
Speaker
Uh, all of the mushroom chocolate bars are actually just fake DMT. Um, honestly, I probably, I think I, in the back of my mind, I knew that.
00:16:22
Speaker
Uh, one, because when I went to that warehouse in St. Petersburg and got, and was buying them, just buying one from like every vendor I met. And I was like asking one of them like, what are these? And he was like, Oh, they're just like psilocybin. And I was like, okay, we're like, are these these drugs? I was like, are these, or he was like, what are these? And he's like, yeah, they're like shrooms. And I was like, what kind of shrooms? And he's like, you know, like shrooms. And I was like, is it,
00:16:50
Speaker
Is it a psilocybin mushroom? Is it like Amida muscaria? Is it some other thing? And he was like, yeah, it's, it's, yeah, dude, I can get off my ass. Yeah, basically that. And then I was like, do you know what strain they made them from? And he was like, the good one. I don't know. Like you could, I just basically was like, okay, benefit of the doubt. You're not the person who makes these. You're the guy who sells them.
00:17:11
Speaker
Um, but I was like, this is definitely like something sketchy. I really hope it's not aminita muscaria. Cause that I might like feel my skin off with a broken shirt of glass. What is that? That's the ones that look like a fucking Mario mushroom. Yeah. It's got a different chemical on it. That is like hallucinogenic in a bad way. Um,
00:17:38
Speaker
What was I going to say? Oh, but then. Then when I actually ate them, I was like. I was like, I don't believe they took the time to do like a. Extraction like actually extract the psilocybin from, you know, the mushroom material when they made this chocolate and I had them and there wasn't really any like grittiness or like powderiness to them.
00:18:08
Speaker
And so I was like, this doesn't make sense. And I don't believe they took the time to do an extraction. So I'm like, this is probably just like something else. And. You could technically get busted from selling for like making Shroom chocolates, which actually can't get in trouble for for like a DMT chocolate like that or DMT analog chocolate. There's nothing illegal about test comes.
00:18:36
Speaker
Yeah. About five ACO DMT. It's just like, so it's also, they probably just, that's how they can like sell it online and shit. Damn. Um, yeah, but I guess, uh, having, having eaten them, no complaints. Okay. That's good to hear. No complaints other than I guess, like blacked out.
00:19:00
Speaker
Don't know what I don't technically know what I consumed. But that's that's kind of normal. You know, it's kind of fine. It's been a life theme. Do you really know when you eat like a burrito? Do you really know unless you made it yourself? Do you really know? And you find out the Taco Bell's like ground beef is only 51 percent beef.
00:19:32
Speaker
Mostly horse. I told you it's, I watched that dirty jobs video of him fishing jellyfish and it's all cut with jellyfish because you can't even taste it. Makes sense. Um, so what's the difference?
00:19:51
Speaker
eat a Taco Bell Grande burrito, or you take mystery, chemical, shroom, chocolate bars from a warehouse in St. Pete. It's all the same. I still have some. I still, he gave me free, uh, like weird tablets. I see this drawer right in front of me. Where are they? Oh, there they are.
00:20:21
Speaker
They're like, they're like, uh, you know, like old school, like Molly, where they'd be like in the shape of something. It's like ecstasy pressed. Yeah, exactly. No way. Definitely. Yeah. They look like little mushrooms. Well, like little, uh, do you remember the, whatchamacallit, do you remember the little dancing mushroom guys from Fantasia, the Disney movie when we were like very young?
00:20:53
Speaker
Yes. Is that a picture of it? No. Hold, please. There, it's like slightly racist because they made the mushrooms into like dancing Chinaman, but this was Disney in the 80s or whatever. Is it like those angry ones that come out of the Mario things? I watched the Mario movie.
00:21:23
Speaker
Other week, it was great. Yeah, I saw parts of it. Mario. The Mario movie was awesome. Mario. Are you seeing that picture? No. Click the fucking link. What? Oh. Mario. The Mario movie was awesome. Danger mushrooms. Oh, OK. That's definitely fentanyl, Jared. Press to look like one of those guys, even with the slanty eyes.
00:21:54
Speaker
Yeah, I haven't eaten a movie on a fucking airplane with no sound, just subtitles. Staring into with your arms crossed. Breathing out your nose. And I watched, um, what's that movie with, with Michael Myers, the newest Halloween movie. I watched that with no sound and subtitles too.
00:22:19
Speaker
I don't have headphones. I like click into the, uh, chair. So they literally give you them for free. I didn't know that. I thought you had to pay for them. Um, I mean, whatever would have been free anyways. Maybe they're only free if you're mosaic, but yeah, I was mosaic. Thank you very much. Well, there you go. Then they were free and your booze. I knew that I drank a lot of free booze, but yeah, no big, uh,
00:22:47
Speaker
big silent movie with subtitles while listening to music kind of guy. I actually kind of do that too, but not with a movie. I'll put like the news on on subtitles or like, or like, you know, like sports center or something. And then listen to music. And I think a movie, I would be to invest in what was happening. Yeah, I mean, whatever.
00:23:16
Speaker
Fucking playing, who cares? At least you're not reading a book. I do that. No, reading a book's cool, man. Books are bad for you, actually. We bounced back. Paul, what's the verdict on the new Kanye West album?
Music Industry Highlights
00:23:41
Speaker
Uh, I only got to listen to three songs before I got taken off iTunes. Um, a disagreement with the distributor. They said it wasn't supposed to be distributed. Oh, wow. What'd you think of the first three songs? Well, I'm bad. As far as things go, it wasn't like a bad album. Who would you say carried it more Kanye or Ty Dolla sign?
00:24:07
Speaker
Um, I'm honestly not sure to be completely honest. First song sound like, what was the, that would also be hard to describe the beat sound like. I don't know. The only thing I remember is the, um, song where he says something about women with fat booties falling out of the sky. Okay.
00:24:35
Speaker
They just don't fall out the sky. You know, that's the only thing I can really remember. I feel like last night was just a blur. Gave my daughter a bath, put her to sleep. And then after that, I don't remember anything really. Just ate a bunch of mushroom fish shaped tablets and just woke up the next day, fell up some stairs. Listen to the Kanye, like listen, part of the Kanye album. Then all of a sudden I woke up because my wife came home after midnight.
00:25:07
Speaker
I heard the garage door open. I had to turn off all the lights that I left. Pretty much. What the hell? And this morning I never set an alarm. So in this morning I woke up and I opened my eyes and I'm like, Hmm, it's pretty fucking bright out. So I woke up at, uh, I don't know, six 30 in the morning. Ooh.
00:25:34
Speaker
Normally I get up about 550. Good God. What is your first thing you do? Um, daily. Just like, yeah, 550. What's happening at six o'clock? I roll over and I grabbed my phone. I look at it and I just go, fuck. You just go to Davis Clark, lock in for the day. Well, I got to get locked in.
00:26:00
Speaker
Yeah. And then I, uh, use the bathroom, brush my teeth, go to work. Fucking guy, dude. I'm so mad. I made him famous. Mm. Caught him at the, I caught him. He was still in like the 400,000 follower range. Now it's fucking bragging on everybody. He's out there throwing shots at Tony P. Dude. I love, loved that. I don't have to actually day in the life.
00:26:27
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he did. Oh, my God. You walked in. Yeah, dude, when you first sent that, he was definitely under a thousand. He's got almost 90K. Dude, is that 48K two days ago? Well, he's at 86. What the fuck? That should double. He's he's growing exponentially. God damn it. And if you just look at his top nine, it's just. His fucking. Mack tonight face.
00:26:59
Speaker
I can't believe there's two of them. We don't know that there's not more than two. We only know of two. I still think we could get him on the pod. He does. He seems like a dude who's got like five other brothers. Oh, yeah. Damn, he's a special guest. He's big time. And then he definitely takes, like you said, he definitely lives at his parents house still. Oh, for sure.
00:27:27
Speaker
Did we match those living rooms up last time? Um, I don't know if we actually did, but I was like, I saw that like stairs and I was like, I think that's the stairs has to be. You think he's going to sell out pretty soon and he's going to start making, um, videos like Tony P where he's talking about how he has respectful parties and doesn't drink too much because he doesn't want to make anybody uncomfortable. No, that's not.
00:28:00
Speaker
Listen, he's, he's still focused on, he's got his, uh, finance exam tomorrow. He's probably fast asleep actually. Cause he's getting his, he's getting good night's sleep for his big exam. Damn. For the first half of the season, we got absolutely smoked. We came in dead last.
00:28:31
Speaker
You're a bowling league. Maybe I'm looking at this wrong, but I mean, this says we're in eighth place. I mean, it seems like it's last. Locked in today. Working from home. Feels so good.
Social Media Fame
00:28:54
Speaker
Let's have a day. Send it.
00:28:57
Speaker
Send it. Do you know he's probably working harder than you in the same state? Oh God, he for sure. He's sending shots directly at me right now. There's moments where I'm like, this is wrong. That's awesome, dude. What can you do, dude? I genuinely just don't have no one will let me do work right now.
00:29:27
Speaker
It's okay, Jared. You just got a tattoo. Yeah, literally. It's okay. Why won't they explain that further for everybody? Um, no, I just was like, Hey, I've got,
00:29:54
Speaker
I told my boss, I was like, Hey, I've got like a bunch of bandwidth. Like my team is good right now. Like I train them well. They know how to do all the things. Um, I've got like space. Is there anything you need help with? And he was like, Oh, that's tough. I got to think about that. Like, I don't know. And that was like,
00:30:14
Speaker
A month ago. And like, how, like, is it my responsibility to keep reminding him to be like, Hey, you haven't given me anything to do. So I'm just kind of chilling. It's like chilling really hard right now. I don't know. We'll find out. Living the good life, dude. Take it while you can, right? This shit comes in waves, brother. That's what I'm saying. We've, we've all had the lean times too. God don't make ugly.
00:30:47
Speaker
Do you know? Yep. Do some chewing tobacco tomorrow. No, I feel like that's a gateway to smoking again. I'm doing well. Let's get some zines. I'm doing well. Yeah. According to the sheet during my season high score, I've got one of the high scores for the handicap series. What's that?
00:31:16
Speaker
I don't know. Did they see you bowling and think you were retarded? I don't know what that means. This guy's ate six hot dogs. He's definitely retarded. Six hot dogs. An entire game of gutter balls last week.
00:31:39
Speaker
Just keeps throwing gutter balls. He's wearing boots on the fucking floor. This last week, bro, I didn't bowl like the worst I've ever bowl, but it was not good. What happened? I realized, I realized again that I was watching. I smoked some weed before this week. And then when I went in, I'm, you know, I'm rolling. The guy next to me was having a really good game. And I just realized I was watching him bowl.
00:32:08
Speaker
So I'm like going to throw my ball down the lane and I'd let him shoot before me. I'm going to throw my ball down the lane and I'm looking at his lane. I almost threw a ball into the other people's lane. Just like didn't let go of it for too long. Was everybody giving you some encouraging news though? Were they like pumping you up? They're like, you got to do, there's a grilled cheese back here waiting for you. There's two nutty buddies back here in a hot tub.
00:32:39
Speaker
It's okay, dude. We're all, we all here for you. Yeah, dude. You're doing great. Yeah, man. Hell yeah. Jared's asleep, dude. He passed out. No, I'm still here. I think that like everybody at the bowling league is drunk usually. So.
00:33:00
Speaker
I like the dedication. You guys have been bowling for a fucking long time now. Yeah, it is a lot since 9 11 baby. And it goes through April. Holy shit. It's a season. That's like an NBA season, dude. That's literally like the NBA season. That's crazy. Every week, right? No days off.
00:33:32
Speaker
I think after like 12 Mondays, I'd be like, you know, I'm all right this Monday. I got to fucking do a few things. I like it when I'm there, but every single Monday, I'm like, fuck. I just was at work today, even though work lately has been basically doing nothing. It's like I'm at work today.
00:33:55
Speaker
I got to go home and get changed and then go bowl, hang out with people that I like the people I bowl with. You got to hear Rob Rob on the other side barking at everybody. Exactly. He's been there. He's been rolling good. Oh, yeah, of course. So what are you, top three on the handicap list? Number one, got the high score. Hell, yeah. I got to figure out from Frank what it is.
00:34:25
Speaker
like if it's weighted with my handicap or what it's good to know that i'm you know it's not like a bad list like the highest score is bad it's like golf yeah there's two fucking idiots who are terrible i said fucking world records this isn't even just here this is all over the world this is a global bowling stat
00:34:59
Speaker
I got a good stat for you. When Guitar Hero was huge.
00:35:07
Speaker
I didn't have the actual guitar. I just played it with an Xbox controller.
Guitar Hero Achievement
00:35:12
Speaker
Oh my God. That's ridiculous. So you would use the trigger, the bumper, and then I think the A button on both sides. So both triggers and bumpers in the A button. And then you'd use like the sticks to whammy bar and stuff. So Hangar 18 was one of the more difficult songs. I think this is Guitar Hero 3, maybe two. And I was on the top 100 liter board.
00:35:36
Speaker
for playing it with the... That's ridiculous. And it didn't wait that you were playing it with the controller. It was just top 100 at everybody who was playing the game. Oh my god. That's fucking dedication. I got so fucking good with that controller and then I wasn't able to play with the guitar at all. Just couldn't do it. Oh, of course. Of course, dude. How did you strum on that controller?
00:36:03
Speaker
It's all just tapping. It's it's like if you're playing DDR with your feet, but you're just tapping the controller with your fingers. But you can't do. Well, so the guitar controller had had a like a strum button that you had to press every time. Yeah. And then you can do the hammer ons and all that. I know. But the controller just was straight tipped out and everything. Interesting. So you just had to move your fingers looking fast because you couldn't like
00:36:35
Speaker
You know, I feel like you get the benefit of the doubt with the guitar. Do you know what you're talking to? You're talking to a top one. Hangry team. No, I just I just didn't know I was I was genuinely curious how the how the Xbox controller handled the strumming part. But that makes sense. The only thing that you could like strum is if you whammy bard and you would just use the stick. Oh, I love that. You just run the stick up and down pause.
00:37:13
Speaker
But yeah, you guys I should probably didn't know that but you're in the presence over here I kind of think if I have any fucking bullshit, whoa, not bullshit You know, I mean you like obscure any obscure achievements like that chill out, dude Top handicap in my bowling league. I
00:37:33
Speaker
Maybe it just means I have the highest handicap because I'm the worst, but it does say high score handicap series. But who's below you? Is there any notable players like directly below you? Jay, whoever that is. I don't know who any of these people's names are. I don't talk to really any of them. 200 J's in there. If it's a Boston area bowling league.
00:38:01
Speaker
No way. It's only eight teams and there's five people, a team. There's only 40 people in the league. Oh shit. It's exclusive dude. I'm the only Paul believe it or not. That's rare dude, especially when I'm with older folk. True. Paul was a very popular name for awhile. And all those biblical names. Yep. But hey, I'm not named after any fucking gay biblical shit. I'm named after my grandpa. What was he named after?
00:38:29
Speaker
Uh, I don't know other leading Paul's in the world. Yeah. His family's not religious either. So hope John Paul, is this place in your town poll or is it around? It's 20 minutes away. It's one town over. Okay. One of my coworkers family owns the bowling alley in Norwood. I think I've said that before. Yeah.
00:38:56
Speaker
And now I'm thinking I need to get into his will and see if he'll build me his part of the bowling alley and then I can be an owner. Yeah, that'd be dope. I'm going to ask him when he comes back, I'd be like, you're, you're getting older. She's like 70 something. You ever think about what you were going to do with your portion of the bowling alley? Like maybe you could just will it. You don't have any kids or a wife.
00:39:26
Speaker
He's one of those, one of those old people that thinks that nothing can run without them. He's going to like take it to the grave with him. Uh, I don't know anything. He does shit with the bowling alley anymore. He's just a part owner. So he gets paid off of it. His sister is the one who runs it.
00:39:47
Speaker
She's awesome, dude. I went in one time and I asked her if she was my coworker's sister and she goes, who the fuck are you? Who the fuck are you? So that's a great answer. Dude, I don't know. Who am I? Who am I? I'm fucking top 100 hanger 18 player. Who are you?
00:40:10
Speaker
Dude, this is a classic bowling fucking place. I'm looking up Massachusetts bowling fucking places. Oh, man. Norwood Sports Center. Mm hmm. That's the place. No way. Yep. This place is classic. Place rocks. Oh, Shannon and I used to go pretty often. Oh, damn, this place closed.
00:40:38
Speaker
So not the Norwood Sports Center. No, Ball Square, Ball Square, bowling in with a candle pin in Summerville. But it closed in 2017. This is a classic bowling area. Probably because I stopped going. It's just like it looks like it's abandoned outside almost. So old. Which one? The Norwood's place. Oh, yeah. Most definitely. Then you walk in literally just business. It's just bowling.
00:41:08
Speaker
Yeah, they got a fuckload of lanes too, because they got upstairs and downstairs lanes. You go upstairs? Yeah, I think you have to. Well, the spot is downstairs, right? Now the Norwood Sports Center is its own thing. Oh, is that one across the street from the spot? Holy shit, they have like a ball cleaner machine. What the hell? What in the hell?
00:41:39
Speaker
Yep. Shots out. Norwood sports center does just look like it's all the pictures. You're just a bunch of hammered white people. I mean, it's, it's candle pinball. I didn't be in fucking Norwood. It's not the most diverse area drive by limeys on a Thursday. That's Norwood baby. How do I get kicked out of there and never went back?
00:42:07
Speaker
for eating food off someone's plate. Mm-hmm. No, actually for stealing food. Look at that fucking picture from one of the reviews that attached to your guy. Holy shit. So the balls are like fucking baseballs basically, huh? Yeah, they're tiny. Like the size of a bocce ball. So these people, I keep picture and I'm throwing like real fucking balls and shit.
00:42:38
Speaker
No, this is a candle pin league. Dude, I feel like I could dominate a little bit in there. It's like underhand in a baseball pretty fast, huh? You'd think so. Yeah. So you have a bag of like six of these fucking things. I have two sets of four and I bring one side with me. Is it a cool leather bag?
00:43:02
Speaker
No, it's just fucking my homie work gave it to me. Open 24 hours on Friday. How the fuck does that work? His sister who owns the Norwood Sports Center. She had balls that were left there in a bag and they gave them to me. So shout out them. Damn, dude, this place looks like it rocks. If we have any local listeners, they should go and support them.
00:43:30
Speaker
Cause I'm going to be a part owner at some point. So there we go. It's decided. Yeah. You could do whatever you want. Just go in there and tell him, you know, Paul. Yep. Dudes are us Fridays at Norwood sports center lady at the counter super rude, which made it a horrible experience. That's awesome. That's hilarious.
00:44:01
Speaker
That's Massachusetts. Everyone's super rude. I hate it.
Nostalgic Venues and Rants
00:44:10
Speaker
Old woman called my dollar fat. That's awesome. All right, guys. Jared, you had a fancy dinner tonight. What'd you have?
00:44:32
Speaker
Oh, um, what did I make? I made a steak rice bowl. We'll call that. Got some sirloin steak, marinated it, cooked it, uh, then fucking sauce it up with some, um, you know, put the, all the contents of a can of chilies and adobo or Chipotle chilies and adobo and a blender with thought you said you were sick today, dude.
00:45:01
Speaker
Mix it up. Yeah, this is just sick. Yeah, that's why I did like a basic. Come on, dude. Then fucking glaze that up with the Chipotle paste and fully adobo paste and some honey. Put that on some rice. Did what I fucking do. Made some refried beans from black beans. Pickled some red onions.
00:45:29
Speaker
So I stuffed an avocado, made some fucking, I didn't make fucking sour cream, I put sour cream on it. And then I was gonna roast up some, like do some like the latte street corn kind of thing. And I just, I was like, fuck it. There's like eight different fucking components to this dish. And I gave up on the corn. So there was no corn, but it was dope. It was a good dinner. That's awesome, dude. You gotta eat.
00:45:59
Speaker
You gotta eat well when you're sick, you know? Everyone's like, you're sick so they like fucking saltine crackers and then you're just sick forever. You eat good meals when you're sick and you get better faster. You gotta give your body the stuff it needs to heal. Yep. That's how it works. To fight and to heal. That is how it works. Um, yeah, it was tight. Good dinner.
00:46:29
Speaker
But I've been getting hard on those burritos, dude. Yeah. Talk to me about this. Just. Talk to me about this burrito hard on. Bulk burritos. Then you just pull one out, throw it in the microwave, then put it on the skillet and then just give it a crispy cheese coating on the skillet. How many ritos you got in your freezer right now? I don't know. Maybe like 12. Nice. I'd make another. I think I made a ton. I got to make another batch.
00:47:02
Speaker
put a little nice ton of hot sauce on it and then a little sour cream. Crunchy as hell. Bob's how much how much frozen meat do you have in your garage freezer? I think right now there's just some pieces of a brisket and then like a nine pound pork but nice. Have you ever had have you ever had bison?
00:47:29
Speaker
Uh, yes, actually. Is bison good? I almost got bison for this meat bowl instead of steak. And then I was like, Oh, I better just go with something. I know what it's going to taste like. Just kind of rich tasting beef. Does it taste gamey? Nope. All right. Noted. Was it ground bison or was it like, it was a bison sirloin. Yeah. No, I don't think it'd be gamey at all. They're good. I had them at, um,
00:47:59
Speaker
Colorado a few times. Colorado. Colorado. Try bison next time. And bison. What about a powdered soap? Powdered soap? No. Is that some fake shit? Is that like comment?
00:48:20
Speaker
No, it's, um, just hand soap, but it's powder. You don't, you don't wet it or you do wet it. You do wet it. And when the water hits it, it turns into soap. Oh, it's probably just like a bar of soap that they ground into powder, right? But it comes out of like, it comes out of like a dispenser as like a fine powder. And then you, uh, just wet it and it turns out like an old fashioned thing. Okay.
00:48:47
Speaker
They had it at a place called Ted's. Thought there was like a science reason like. Oh, God. Oh, God. What was that? Fine. Jar mushrooms clanging in your other jar. I thought it was like some dumb thing. Like the sinks that have the fucking hand dryer in the sink.
00:49:15
Speaker
I don't like that sprays water all over the place. Makes zero sense. Makes zero sense. I hate all hand dryer machines. Even the ones that are like the good ones like the Dyson ones, I think still is gross, dude. Yeah, they all suck. I mean, yeah, like the Dyson is like your hands into the weird space and you always end up touching the wall. Well, the thing that
00:49:41
Speaker
The thing that the Dyson's revealed to me that I never, that you never had to deal with with the shitty ones before the Dyson's, like the shitty ones before the Dyson's would just blow higher on your hands and it didn't really do anything. You'd just be like, all right, well, I'm going to just wipe my hands on my pants now. The Dyson's actually blow hard enough that you just spray all the water from your hands onto the wall. And that's supposed to be like more sanitary. Well, you know, it's a weird thing.
00:50:11
Speaker
It's sucking all the air out of the bathroom onto your hands. That too. Yeah. Where's that air coming from? The bathroom. The bathroom. Fucking fecal coliform all over the place. Yeah. Whatever's in those psilocybin bars all over your hands. That'd be dope. DMT dispensers in the bathroom. Jared, what was the latest big drug trip you've done?
00:50:41
Speaker
I haven't done. I haven't. I took shroom. I took a little bit of shrooms. I think at a wedding. No, that's a lie on. New Year's Eve, not New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve Eve. I took a bunch of shrooms. That was last time. New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve Eve.
00:51:14
Speaker
The the day before new year's eve, okay. I think it was a friday. Okay I took sure i'm saying Okay, that's the last time That's it. I don't believe it. You don't have to believe it Doesn't require you to believe it
00:51:43
Speaker
But you, when was the last time you tripped balls? Dude, all the time. Right now. All day, every day. Yeah. What about you, Paul? Never. One time I ate too much edible marijuana and I guess that's the closest thing. You shit your pants? No, I just had like weird visuals. Shit your pants in the line at the deli? Nope. That was Jeff.
00:52:15
Speaker
Was it though? I don't shit my pants in public. I'm not a public shitter. Fuck it, man. I'll hold a shit all day, just a shit at home. Dude, I agree. It's way better. I don't need that in my life. Right, Jared?
00:52:42
Speaker
No, I'm, I'm, I'm way off on that. Come on, dude. I, I don't enjoy shitting in a, in a public restroom, but I will shit in a public restroom and have, if I, not even an emergency. If I'm just like, I would like to take shit right now.
00:53:05
Speaker
Um, then that's that. I mean, anywhere that I'm any, any like bar that I've been a regular at, including the silhouette where the stall didn't have a door on it. That's crazy. I would never have taken a shit at a bar. Uh, I was in dire straits. I don't really consider myself. Don't look deadly. I don't really consider myself officially friends with somebody until I've shit in their house. Hmm.
00:53:33
Speaker
I'm okay with that. I'm just shitting in a fucking restaurant. I can't believe people do that. Like, make a meal out to eat. Go back to your pasta.
00:53:55
Speaker
Yeah, I've never really thought about how weird that is. Definitely not healthy. Hold on one second. I gotta go fucking shit in this public restaurant with 600 people around. That's great. So you wouldn't have any problem with that?
00:54:22
Speaker
I mean, I genuinely have done it many times. So I guess I don't. Oh, my God.
00:54:35
Speaker
Yeah, pretzels are good to start. I'll be right back. I'll be back. I've genuinely shit between the appetizer and the main. And it's kind of nice because like you finish the you finish the appetizer, finish the appetizer, you go shit. And then by the time you come back, your your main is there. So you don't have to like wait that like stupid 10 minutes where you're like talk to people or whatever.
00:55:04
Speaker
You can just shit and then you come back and your food's there. It's great. That's hilarious. I got to take a phone call. You come back here like, yeah, that was a great, I saw you walking into the bathroom. That's another rare breed, bro. People who take shits at the airport and talk on the phone all the time. Dude, they're, yeah.
00:55:30
Speaker
Jared I wouldn't know I wouldn't I would never be on my phone taking a shit mostly just because I Have no desire to Talk on the phone to anyone But I absolutely have like taken like multiple shits at the airport at the same like in the same You know waiting for a plane
00:55:54
Speaker
Oh, well, yeah, obviously I've said at the airport, bro. That would be a nightmare situation if you were on the airplane and you had to take a shit, dude. Yeah. I think I would rather. Doesn't shit on airplanes? I'd rather shit my pants. Yeah, I'm not, dude. Come on. Come on, bro. Man, if I have to, like, if it's a difference, and I'm not talking about an emergency, if it's me being like, oh, I would kind of, like, if I were home right now, I would take a shit.
00:56:23
Speaker
verse it, but, but I'm on a plane. I would absolutely just go take a shit nightmare at the airport. It's kind of funny. I would do in the middle of a funeral. I, there's nothing about it that bothers me. I shouldn't have the shit on the, it's weird. I mean,
00:56:45
Speaker
Not judging. It's weirder to me to be like, I'm going to hold in my shit until you until I feel safe. No, until you feel till you're in a good spot. I just don't feel uncomfortable, I guess. The airplane is not a good spot, dude. I mean, it's not a preferred shitting destination, but like the idea of being like, oh, I'm going to like wait to like I'm going to wait two hours to do this so that I can do it at home. Yeah, wild. Yeah, dude.
00:57:16
Speaker
That makes the most sense. I guess it's not. Everybody's agreeing with us. I mean, I'll fully accept that I'm in the minority there, but I'm just like, I would I would just rather be comfortable now instead of being like, oh, yeah, right. I have to shit. I'm like farting weird now, like really fucking smelly farts because I'm holding my shit in. Also, not a plane farter, so.
00:57:45
Speaker
Whoa, come on. No. I'm not saying it's like polite or anything, but like, what are you just gonna not fart? Yeah. That's rough. You're torturing yourself for other people's, you know, lack of, I don't even know what the word is, you know what I mean? Being polite to people you'll never see again. Well, I mean, if you're flying with people, then you're gonna see them again.
00:58:14
Speaker
Yep. That's a good point. I mean, sure. We flew together all the time, but we didn't, like, book seats next to each other. What's wrong with that? I sat next to Dave a few times. Yeah, I guess. I would still fart, especially if it was a friend, actually. That would be funny. It's weirder when it's a stranger, because you're like, they're gonna smell it, and they're gonna know it was me.
00:58:42
Speaker
This is your buddy. You're like, they like look at you and you're like, yeah, I did. You and half air two peas in a pod, dude. How did you just shit his pants out in public, sir? I'm sure he could shit in a toilet in public. It's not like, dude, like I need to go or like we need to go to like target so I can get new drawers. It's like.
00:59:11
Speaker
No, I'm just going to keep going about my day with this shit in my underwear. Yeah. Yeah. And. That's pretty. That's that's. That's just too good. Right. And the other day I was watching something on YouTube. I think I was watching like a skate video.
00:59:37
Speaker
And then Jared came over and when we went back upstairs, fucking YouTube autoplay had been on for hours at this point. I just like left my TV on and it somehow had found its way into hour long videos of guys taking apart wristwatches and putting them back together. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about right there. Jared's roommate would be in heaven.
01:00:04
Speaker
Yep. Oh my God. Don't even tell him that that should exist. It was just like this dude being like, and here's the sprocket. I will now put this in the alcohol and here's the one swing arm. I will now put this in the alcohol. Give us an update on him, Jared. Oh, um, he went on a, uh, he, he went on a date.
01:00:32
Speaker
on Saturday night. Okay. Um, it wasn't a date downtown. Talk to him the next day. I'm like, Oh, how'd the date go? And he was like, Oh, kind of weird.
01:00:47
Speaker
I was like, well, what was weird about? And he's like, it was it was like fine for the first half. And then she just seemed like she got like really like bored with me fast. Fuck. And I think. And I can't. I don't know if I was just like not interesting or whatever, but yeah, she just like got real short with me and didn't really seem to want to.
01:01:10
Speaker
like talk anymore. And so like, I just like bailed and like, you know, paid for dinner and then just like left because I just didn't want to like figure out what her deal was. And then so I was like, oh, it's all right, dude, whatever. And so then later, I think that night or maybe it was Monday, he was like, I think I figured it out. I was like, what? And he's like,
01:01:37
Speaker
that, why that girl, like what was going on with that date? And I was like, well, what was going on? He's like, well, she texted me again and apologized. And I think that she just wanted to fuck. I don't think she really wanted to go on a date. I think she just wanted, she wanted to fuck and I wasn't getting the vibe. And, and she just realized it like after half hour that I wasn't picking up on it and then got really annoyed. And I was like, Oh, okay, dude. Yeah. That's kind of, that's kind of how it goes on dating apps. It's like,
01:02:06
Speaker
60, 70% of the time that's, it's just for hookups. So tell me a little bit more about your, uh, late, your latest position. Jesus, dude. So
01:02:22
Speaker
Yeah, totally was like, yeah, I'm just also you creep me out.
Roommate Adventures
01:02:26
Speaker
And he's like, yeah, so basically she wanted to just do me and I was like, I can't, I wasn't picking up on it.
01:02:37
Speaker
Can we just talk about disassembling and reassembling watches for an hour first? It's like she was all freaked out and left after I told her how long it takes for a heartbeat to stop in the freezer.
01:02:58
Speaker
Yeah, dude, that's kind of, that's kind of him. He's real, he's real stressed right now because they furloughed a bunch of people at his work. Furlough. Oh, so they just wait. They're like, we'll call you back. I mean, fake that, but yeah. What do you mean? So they don't have, well, like, it's like a thing. I mean, he works for like a small company. So it's a thing they do. So they don't have to tell the government they're doing layoffs, but it's like, Hey, you just have people on quote unquote furlough for like three months, not getting paid. And they don't get paid.
01:03:29
Speaker
Yeah, but you don't have to you don't have to count it as as like a Layoff basically from like a reporting perspective. So I'm assuming they get to keep The reasoning they would do it is they get to they get some kind of tax break for how many people they employ for as a small business and they probably Furlough so that they don't drop below some number Damn, that sucks
01:03:59
Speaker
but he obviously didn't get furloughed. So he's doing like six times the work. And I was like, dude, you need to ask for more money. Like it's, it's, he's like, I just, it seems like, no, no, Jared, it seems like it's greedy to ask for money when like people just lost their job or just got furloughed. Like I shouldn't ask for money right now. I was like, dude, this is exactly when you should, because they need you. So you just like don't see eye to eye on stuff like that.
01:04:24
Speaker
Stop it, Jared. I don't want to get furloughed. Yeah, he's he's all right. He's all right. All right. Great job, guys. So any last words about your roommate, Jared?
01:04:55
Speaker
No, that's kind of it. I can't really think of anything. Trying to. Trying to recall if anything funny has happened besides the. The him not picking up on. If that's even real. Yeah, I mean, there's a piece of me that's also like, but there I don't know. Please card games every like magic. I mean, like there's no incentive to lie to be like, so I don't know.
01:05:26
Speaker
Um, yeah, that's kind of it. Well, what just happened? What's that? What just happened? What? You didn't hear that? I don't think so. It was like when, uh, um, you probably don't remember like, like,
01:05:56
Speaker
am tuners or am FM tuners for when you would before you could have an aux cord in your car and how you would play your iPod through through the car by like tuning into a Oh yeah, I know those Yeah, 88 nine radio station. Yeah. The audio kind of did that thing the sound it would make or be like, when you're doing that. Yeah. Definitely was real.
01:06:29
Speaker
Alright guys, quick episode. Jared feels sick. It's late, late night. So I'm actually very tired. It's like a late episode. We'll be at it for you again.
01:06:45
Speaker
What does that mean? I don't know what those words mean in a sentence. We'll be at it unless I told you I'm going to the serial podcast, serial on iTunes and Spotify. I'll be the co-host. I'll double duty for now because people are getting furloughed. Yeah. So I'll be doing double podcasts here, guys.
01:07:07
Speaker
Oh, before we go, um, listeners, uh, uh, listeners from the beginning will remember episode 24. I think it was the one about the F 35. Yep. Where we talked about the movie twister. It's back. And if you watched the super bowl, then you saw the advertisement for twister two. It's real. It's happening. Twisters. Twisters.
01:07:37
Speaker
And I just want to thank our listeners for, you know, I think it was our, this podcast and your support and interest that, um, that will be getting us a non sequential sequel to, to Twister that doesn't have Helen hunt in it. So thank you. All right. Shout out to, uh, Hunter Biden.
01:08:06
Speaker
Nice shout out shit at home. Yeah. Shout out. Shout out, Japanese Spider-Man. All right. That's it, guys. Enjoy that. Goodbye.