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Transcript
Spirituality and Society's Flaws
00:00:08
Speaker
It's no prayer day. Stay prayed up. God bless you. By the people, of the people, for the people.
The Value of Beanie Babies and Life Priorities
00:00:30
Speaker
But the people are retarded.
00:00:43
Speaker
I can hardly wait to read the next tomorrow to hear what people have to say about what we did. We have literally, there are 28 Beanie Babies in here when you consider retirement that can literally pay for everything right now.
00:01:04
Speaker
I don't think I'm screaming. Yeah, you've been screaming all the time. I screamed once. You screamed a ton! Shut the fuck up, Doug, you fucking scum! You shut the fuck up, Mike, I'll kill you! For one thing, I tend to favor drugs that increase intensity of any experience. I've never been really a fan of press or
00:01:35
Speaker
Any kind of donors Work-life balance is bullshit There should be no balance Life is way more important than work If you are working nearly as much as you are living, then you are fucked
Friendship and Political Memorabilia
00:02:11
Speaker
Welcome to dudes are us. The path that has taken you here is the correct one and the best decision you have made ever. No one in this world can stop us. We are friends and you are our friend. Buckle up for the big one. Yes. Yes. Yes. No, no, no. We smoked row about their kind of hick in the right way and Watertown or just in that.
00:02:31
Speaker
region, I would say. Is that not where that Trump bar is? Canadian? No, the Trump bar is more north. That's like 20 minutes south of Canada. Oh, no, I didn't realize he said Canada. The bar, it's like the only bar in town and it's just filled with Trump shit.
Trump's Future: Presidency or Jail?
00:02:53
Speaker
Trump flags, Trump 2024, I'll be back. Trump fucking cut out so you can take a picture with him. He's coming back somehow. I feel like he's just gonna be back as like a Saudi billionaire instead of president. Nah, he's going to jail.
00:03:12
Speaker
Feel like he's going to jail and he's still going to anything and that's going to make just just because the world wants us to have to deal with something crazy and new that we've never dealt with before. He's going to go to jail and then he's going to get elected president. We're going to have to figure out what that means. He won't be able to be if he goes to jail. I don't think that that's written anywhere. And even if he if they were like, well, he's ineligible.
00:03:37
Speaker
I think there's enough people who would still write him in, plus enough people who are like, I just hate politics and I'm going to do this to be chaotic, that he would win. And then we'd have to deal with that issue. I just think that's. I don't even know about this, Santos. What's even going on with him? Can you guys explain it to me in simple terms of what he's even, what he's, I don't know about. He's indicted the first time. He's been indicted four times.
00:04:06
Speaker
Oh, damn. And he's anything he's. And that means like 68 lawsuits right now, I think. Indicted means that they're just. You're just. Yeah, evidence. Yeah, I'm going to try all the charges. You know. But every time he's indicted, does he have to go and rebook?
Trump's Legal Troubles
00:04:26
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. Oh, my God. But it's like have like five mug shots or whatever for mug shots.
00:04:35
Speaker
I don't know if they do mug shots right now. I don't know what to do for that, but it's like a misappropriation of campaign funds to pay off Stormy Daniels. That was one of them. Yep. Evidence tampering with the voting and then I'm not really actually sure what the other two are. One I think is something to do with January 6th and I'm not sure what the fourth one is.
00:05:00
Speaker
I think he's fucked. I think that he's dodged a lot of things, but I think he's probably fucked for one of those. I think probably the best one and they're the one that he's most likely to get in trouble for is the misappropriation of funds for hush money to pay off stormy Daniels. But I don't know if that's like enough to really get you in a lot of trouble. I think that's just something that rich people do all the time. He just happened to get caught. Okay. Uh,
00:05:31
Speaker
So I don't know. I don't know if you actually, what do you think you'll do actual time? I don't think so. I think you'll probably do like time served or some shit. Uh, yeah, I don't. I mean, I would love for him to go to jail. I don't see him going to jail though.
Society's Distractions and UFO Ignorance
00:05:47
Speaker
Right. He would have to have 24 seven security. Well, definitely that. But then also just depends on what the actual charges that he gets. And like if he if he were to get found guilty, which one it was, because then they would all carry different levels of. Yeah, I mean, you like insurrection thing like he's too far removed from it, even if the like, unless they find.
00:06:10
Speaker
You know, and I guess who knows they could, but unless they were like, yeah, here's a text of him from him to like everyone saying like, Hey, we're going to overthrow the government. This is Donald Trump. And even then, I don't know. Uh, yeah, I just don't, I don't see him going to jail.
00:06:32
Speaker
So we're going to fucking hang Mike Pence in the center of DC. He's good at he's good at keeping himself like one or two people removed from everything, even with some of this shit with like the like the documents. They're like charging his lawyers and stuff because like he got other people to move the shit around for him. He got other people to do the like the thing where the like pool drained into some server room and destroyed the server like wasn't him who did it.
00:06:59
Speaker
Crazy that there's still people that work for this dude and do things he asks them to do because every time he then just throws them under the bus. I know. I think the last one was having the classified documents. Yeah. And then this election fraud one, they're going to blame his lawyers at the time for like giving him bad advice.
00:07:23
Speaker
Crazy how he just, I don't know though, because they, that one, they, I feel like they have a lot of, um, evidence for it. Cause he'd like called the dude in Georgia and was like, I need you to find a few hundred votes. Thought I win. Like I need you to find those votes. I mean, I re I get it. I mean, I remember that recording. I'm just like, it's been like over a year now. It doesn't really seem like anyone cares that much or just, I don't know. Uh, weird. It's a weird world. He's old as hell too.
COVID-19 Discussions and Theories
00:07:54
Speaker
Yeah, he's definitely very old. Let's see, he is. Eighty something, not seventy eight. Seventy seven. Seventy seven. Yeah. Imagine a day in the life. Speaking of current events, did you see the guy in Utah who said he was going to kill the killer?
00:08:22
Speaker
whatever the president, Joe Biden, and then the FBI went to his house to serve the warrant and killed him. Holy shit.
00:08:30
Speaker
Yeah, the FBI, that truth social, you know, Donald Trump's. Yeah. Then he was on there and he's like posting pictures of his rifle and he's like, this is my liberal killing machine. Oh, he was like, I see that the president's going to be in Utah time to dust off the rifle. Oh, my God. Posting pictures of himself in a ghillie suit holding a rifle and the dude was like in his 70s, I think that our old CEO. Oh, my God. And then he shows up at.
00:08:59
Speaker
or he doesn't show up, excuse me. The FBI gets whatever information they need and they just show up at his crib and they're banging on the door trying to make entry and they'll like come out with your hands up and obviously he says he's not going to and then there's some sort of loud bang and then they just fucking lit him up. I mean, I guess FBI's crazy not to be trifled with and they let those people down and wake up, burn to death.
00:09:22
Speaker
Oh, yeah. But that's what I mean. If you're if the FBI is serving a warrant for that shit and you put up a stand like, yeah, there's a there's a decent chance you die anyway. Even if you're if you're standing in the middle of your living room with your hands up when they barge in, you might still get shot in the face. But if you put up any kind of stand like, yeah, all bets are off. They are going to just put you down.
00:09:48
Speaker
just seems crazy that they showed up at his house instead of trying to like, wait until he left the house for a few minutes because they knew he had guns and everything. Obviously, why don't they just like until he's like driving down the road and then just fucking get him there. He just saw that on his fucking ring camera at the last minute. Right? He's like, Oh man, there's about armed FBI agents. I mean, and that's, and like for, you know, if, if
00:10:14
Speaker
I don't know how I would know, but if I were getting raided by the FBI, I'd be like, fuck and be compliant. But for that guy, like the FBI showing up at his house is like his is the confirmation of all of his paranoia. He's like, it's finally happening. They're coming to get me. That's true. So, yeah, they that's an interesting angle because you're like they knew they probably knew he would react like that.
00:10:41
Speaker
That shit's crazy though. Imagine that. But what do you do? You can't send like a, what do you like? Hey, just so you know, the FBI is going to show up in a minute. Don't act crazy because then you'll die. Oh no. I mean, I'm a hundred percent with you. And the dude had to, they had to arrest him. Obviously he was saying he was going to kill the president.
00:11:01
Speaker
And it was serious about it. Yeah. Yeah, you can't fuck around with that. You can't do that. And speaking of other things, did you see the cartel cap that Ecuadorian presidential candidate? Oh, that was a cartel. That was they he was speaking out about how he was going to, you know, stop drug trafficking and everything in Ecuador. And as they're trying to get him into his car, he's surrounded by fucking security. Somebody just runs up, shoots him in the head. Oh.
00:11:31
Speaker
Yeah, not the best move. Where was it security yet? Just all around them? They were loading them into the car and I think the person came up on the other side of the car and just shot them. Cause you can't like see in the video that the news showed who actually shot him. You don't see the person come up behind him or anything. That sounds like a professional. Yep. That sounds well-planned. That's crazy.
00:12:01
Speaker
This is all a wave of distractions all at the same time. Yeah, because they don't want you to think about the fact that UFOs have been confirmed that it's real. Aliens are real and nobody cares. No one does, dude. Everybody's fucking still just, I don't know. Listen to the Joe Rogan and fucking
00:12:23
Speaker
Post Malone. I have to go to work tomorrow and cut cups out of fucking fucking five hours of Post Malone when there's UFOs out there. No one that a UFO exists. Aliens are real. We have their bodies. They might be coming back for those bodies. They might be like, you kept, it's like kind of fucked up, right? Give us our bodies back. Jerky. Ooh, what do you think alien jerky tastes like?
00:12:54
Speaker
Some somebody's got to try to eat them if we have them if we have it tastes like Tastes like probably like Sour Patch Sour Patch Kids Yep Hmm I get behind that I back that Also, how about the fact that Mars is just covered in
00:13:18
Speaker
in, uh, semen, for Mars is covered in like nuclear glass, basically from getting hit by meteorites. They don't know. They don't know why there's so much nuclear like material on Mars. Well, I think that that same kind of like compression glass is formed at meteor impacts. It's and it's space like Mars doesn't have as much of an atmosphere. So it just gets
00:13:48
Speaker
The surface of Mars gets irradiated constantly by cosmic rays, so it's probably just impact
Movies, Shows, and Comedic Readings
00:13:52
Speaker
glass for meteorites that then got irradiated by just shit in the solar wind and cosmic rays and stuff. But if you asked Neil deGrasse Tyson, he would say that. He wouldn't. Fuck Neil deGrasse Tyson. Fuck Neil deGrasse Tyson. I don't know, dude. He went to Harvard. He wrestled at Harvard. Dude sucks as bad as fucking
00:14:17
Speaker
whatever his name is, who made all those shitty movies that I don't like. Oh, we don't need to talk about that. Adam Sandler. We don't need to just redo last week's podcast where we listed movies and then talked about how you hate Robin Williams. So do you guys want to hear the top 50 worst movies I hate? Yeah, I do. I'm assuming Bridesmaids is the guy on that list. Bridesmaids, Mean Girls.
00:14:48
Speaker
I just found out that her name's Melissa McCarthy. It's not even Jenny McCarthy. It's Melissa. I knew what you meant. I wasn't going to correct you though. I was already being pretty aggressive. Hey man, you like it's whatever helps you. I don't know. Maybe that's your white noise. What? I realized that like, hey, maybe this is, this is somebody's impractical jokers to them. I would get like that about a practical joke. Oh no, that's not the hill I would die on.
00:15:16
Speaker
Bridesmaids is not the hill I would die. What would be the reality show in the early 2000s that you would die on?
00:15:23
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah, V Villa Pan was pretty good. Was that a reunion? Would you call it? I liked your mama for the first the first season of Robin Big where he has the net gun. Yeah, of course. Net him. I like to keep going. I was going to say something controversial, which is that early, early seasons of The Apprentice were that was I never watched that. It seemed like a good show. That was hot. It was hot on the scene. That in twenty four.
00:15:51
Speaker
I think there was 15 seasons of The Apprentice. I didn't watch. I mean, I I watched probably the first four seasons and it was really good. And then it's it's the same thing over and over that like all of those kind of shows that were like, let's get some like B if not C list celebrities. Yeah. And do the same thing every it just. It's kind of like the white making a band. Yes.
00:16:16
Speaker
Um, yeah, but I i'll admit that that was a good show that doesn't mean he was a good president, but that show was good What about uh, I saw a controversial thing on twitter today
00:16:31
Speaker
Let's hear it. I was like, and it goes with this because they said like, oh, who remembers the Andy Milnocka show? And people were like, yo, that show sucked. And I'm like, that show was funny. I got bees on my head, but don't call me a bee head. I'm just doing wild fucking random shit in the street. That was a good show. And he looked like he was 13. Pops, we might have talked about this, but did you ever watch Wonder shows in? It's on MTV2. Very familiar.
00:17:02
Speaker
There's a recycle company that I saw today that all of their logos look like swastikas, so unfortunate. A recycling company? Yeah. That is a bummer. Like the recycling thing. Go ahead. My shout out, I know that we're not at the end of the pod, but just because I'll forget, is the 2005 comedy series, Wonder Shows, that aired on MTV2.
00:17:27
Speaker
If you you could you you could not make that show today. It was like a parody of Sesame Street kind of I did watch that It might be the best Two seasons of television that was ever made and I don't understand how they got away with it I'll leave it there
00:17:49
Speaker
What about the German name? Three South. That was on TV. That's pretty good. Daria. Daria was pretty good. It was very good. You know what I've been watching is King of the Hill. King of the Hill is fucking hilarious. King of the Hill is always on his classic. You know what made it till 2007? Celebrity death match. I watched a ton of that. Delivery death match. Almost a 10 year run on that.
00:18:20
Speaker
I was at a restaurant last night. I went to the bathroom at the urinal. Some shitty taco chain place, but they had TVs over the urinal in the bathroom. Pee-wee. Pee-wee's playhouse was gone. Interesting. Interesting strategy. That's a movie, right? Because I remember I'm like, damn, I can't believe I watched this shit. Yeah. Not a bad movie.
00:18:49
Speaker
Damn, oh god. I think there are some good actors. I didn't even or actors and actresses. I didn't even know we're in there. Do from rain man. The fuck?
YouTubers Turned Boxers: The Paul Brothers
00:19:11
Speaker
Who's the guy from rain man? Dennis Hoffman? No.
00:19:19
Speaker
Dustin Hoffman, that's his name. Who does everybody say is the best actor? What's that guy's name? He's like older now. I don't know. You got to describe more. Like a guy with a tequila brand. Nah, not George Clooney. He's probably Dustin Hoffman's age. Dustin Hoffman and the graduate. That was a great movie.
00:19:52
Speaker
You got to give me more than just Dustin Hoffman's age Daniel day Lewis Daniel day Lewis He's I don't think he's that old you guys seen a piggy blinders for heaven. I
00:20:10
Speaker
I tried. No, I'm just trying. Oh, that's who. I'm trying to think of the other people that says that Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy. Yeah, he's an actor. He was in all those Guy Ritchie films. What was he in? He wasn't in Rock and Rollo, was he? Which of those ones was he in? Was it Rock and Rollo? Doesn't matter.
00:20:40
Speaker
Never got a rock and roll of two. Remember that? The Joker was a good movie. Joker was okay. Or Dark Knight, I mean. Dark Knight was great. Yeah. That's what I mean. I was like, I think that was the last one I saw under there. The newest Batman. I don't know if it's the newest Batman. Joker blows up in an ambulance and stuff. Oh, yeah. That's the Dark Knight.
COVID Testing and Air Travel Chaos
00:21:07
Speaker
Fantastic film.
00:21:09
Speaker
This right here should be even more evidence that the UFOs actually exist. UFO whistleblower kept security clearance after psychiatric detention. So he's not crazy. What does that mean? He's allowed to get on the base, they'll reap the rewards. They put him on psychiatric detention and then they... Yeah, they're like, this fucking dude's crazy, so we gotta make sure he's not crazy. He's not just talking shit. And then you're like, he's good.
00:21:36
Speaker
Yeah, psychiatric detention in that context is definitely a code word for like, scare you. That's them bringing you in to be like, guy, stop shitting in the punch bowl. Like, if you're not careful, you're gonna hang yourself and shoot yourself in the chest. Or what about if you're gonna tragically drown while kayaking? Hear me out. Are we thinking about two down the middle and they're like, perfect job. And they have some other shit brewing.
00:22:05
Speaker
You know, knife behind their back always, right? Yeah. Like they're like, this whistleblower isn't even actually the real whistleblower. This is all just a front to keep scurrying around bigger shit. Skirt skirt. I don't know, dude, if they're like being open this open with it. What the fuck is
00:22:30
Speaker
You know, I don't know. Well, I think the, I think the strategy, like old school strategy would have been that the government would come out and be like this, we categorically deny these a bar, bar, bar, but like these days, if you deny something, you're confirming it. So like the, no one's saying anything because they're just like.
00:22:49
Speaker
No, they're like, everyone has no attention span anymore because of the stuff that we put in tap water. So we just need to ride this out until everyone forgets because like, you know, some celebrity is going to do something and then everyone will be, and look at it, that's working. Nobody even cares. Everyone's talking about like, I don't even know. No one cares.
00:23:16
Speaker
I was worried about Nate Diaz. They're worried about Nick and Nate Diaz. Damn, that's somebody who's going to fuck Jake Paul up. What the fuck was that, Paul? I don't know, man. What the fucker, dude? I didn't watch the fight. I had to get up the next morning for work. But halfway through, he's just kind of toying around. He's putting his hands up and shit. He's getting his ass kicked, really.
00:23:46
Speaker
I mean, do we have to now admit that Jake Paul's good at boxing? Well, the only real boxer that he's fought so far was Tommy Fury. And Tommy Fury pieced him up. So I didn't even know. Yeah, I didn't even watch any of those. I had that end with a tie. Tommy Fury won by decision. Oh, shit. But Tommy Fury had to win or else I think his brother would have fucking disowned him. So he did win. So how didn't that end this whole fucking saga?
00:24:15
Speaker
Cause he didn't knock them out. Jake wants to run. Yeah. Well, I mean, you didn't knock him out. Cause he's on fucking steroids. Jake wants to run a back, fight him again. See if I could send this that long. Nate Diaz was like running again. My dude, no one wants to see this again. I don't think Nate.
00:24:34
Speaker
Well, Nate wants to fight on UFC style, which I think Nate Diaz would fucking maul him towards the end of the fight. Nate Diaz put Jake Paul on a guillotine choke, like no problem. Yeah, I saw that. That was super nice. And yeah, throws him into it. Someone won. Like there was just like a miracle bet that a ton of people won because of that. It was technically a submission.
00:25:00
Speaker
Imagine if you just put him out, if he was just like, fuck it, I don't care about the money. Did you see the video of him choking out the fake Logan Paul or whatever? Yeah, hilarious. Now Jake and Logan are beefing in real life because they'll see us sponsored that fight. That's one of Jake's partners. And they told Logan that he couldn't bring any of his prime shit or wear any prime clothing into the stadium.
00:25:27
Speaker
And Logan's like, come on, dude, you're my brother and you're not gonna let me try to build my brand. And Jake's like, bro, it's just, they didn't want you to wear. It's not that big of a deal. Dude, there's like, I see kids fucking like fighting for that prime shit at gas stations. This shit, they make, I don't know how that got so popular. Just gas the fuck up.
Satirical Takes on COVID Policies
00:25:45
Speaker
It has like a million grams of caffeine. Oh, really? It's an energy drink.
00:25:49
Speaker
Well, it's not supposed to be, it's supposed to be a sports drink, but they're getting investigated by the FDA for having way more caffeine in it than it says. Oh, Jesus. 200 milligrams of caffeine on the bottle, which is already a ridiculous number. 300 milligrams of electrolytes, which just means fucking salt. Salt, mad salt in it. That's an insane beverage. Do you see that link in the chat that I put?
00:26:20
Speaker
Uh, it's the, it's the screenplay of bridesmaid. I'm going to read it. I'm going to print it and read it over the next week. Whatever you, whatever blows your hair back, bro. How funny would that be? I've read a movie like that. Probably terrible. They have all of break the entire, the entirety of Breaking Bad they have. I know. All right.
00:26:53
Speaker
Imagine reading like in an upscale Friday after next to like this into an upscale modern home at night the ultimate bachelor pad a Porsche is parked in the front and he says I'm so glad you called Ted. I'm so glad you were free Annie. I love your eyes Ted cut my balls Annie. Okay. Yes. All right. I can do that Ted. Oh, there it is.
00:27:20
Speaker
Cut to bedroom continuous any walk 30 having sweaty sex with Ted handsome 40 in a series of close ups and jump cuts We see Annie in the middle of a very long vigorous session Annie. Oh that feels so good You know what to do Annie I'm so glad I got to see you again jump cut to She is now bouncing on top of him and he continued. Oh, yes Then they look concerned
00:27:47
Speaker
Okay, wait, hold on you and I are in different rhythms. I think Ted I want to go fast Annie. Okay, sure. He bounces Annie super fast Cut to clean upscale modern bathroom in the morning Annie stands in front of a mirror in nice lingerie She puts on lotion makeup brushes her hair mascara, etc She's reading the script of bridesmaid Opening scene of bridesmaids. You don't remember this part. Oh
00:28:19
Speaker
You haven't watched that movie 100 times? Paul blacked out about halfway halfway through the list. What about Paul Blart Mall Cop? Was that on your list? I never saw that. Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 was 2015. Paul Blart Mall Cop was 2009. Chuck and Larry got an honor I mentioned. What's the one we're... I think it's called Serve and Protect.
00:28:46
Speaker
I never saw that one. It's Seth Rogan is a mall cop and this dude keeps coming into the mall and just like running around naked. And then like the big scene in the end is the old man's running down the hallway and is like dick and balls are just flapping and Seth fucking shoots him and kills him. Whoa. Whoa.
00:29:10
Speaker
Oh, that's a funny ass movie. That one's worth seeing. That goes hard. Spoiler alert. I think that's what it's called. Maybe that's not what it's called. The fuck is it?
00:29:33
Speaker
observe and report. So I was pretty close. Observe. I don't even know. I don't even recall hearing about this movie. Is Danny McBride the one who runs around naked? No. I don't think so. I don't want the movie.
00:29:54
Speaker
Ray Liotta's movie. It's Randy Gamble is the flasher. What is Danny McBride's role? Is he? He's a Caucasian crack. Okay. You got a bit part. Oh, this is like very early Seth Rogen when he, I actually remember super Canadian. Him with like a short haircut. That's why I remember this. Still living in Calgary. Calgary baby.
00:30:24
Speaker
Okay, I remember. I think I might have seen this movie. I'm always mad funny. Oh, man. Aliens are real, dude. Nobody cares. You guys remember when Comedy Central would actually just be like specials and stuff all day? If you stayed up late enough, they'd play them on Sun soon. Insomniac.
00:30:54
Speaker
Exterior cow pasture a deep blue sky overhead fat scutty clouds below them black and white cows graze on rolling hills This could be one of those, California It's the cheese commercials except those commercials don't normally focus on cow shit But we do tilt down to a fast around patty drying all of drab in the Sun Flies sold on this youthful and quiet until zoom wheels flow wheels plow past
00:31:18
Speaker
through the shit with a splat, new angle, an RV, his speeding, smack dab through the pasture, no road in sight. A bit out of place, to say the least. It's an old 70s era Winnebago with chalky white paint and Bondo Sports, a bumper sticker with the good Sam Club is stuck to the back. This is riveting. I would read the screenplay to Breaking Bad. Our Redbox sponsor is going to kill us. Not happy. We're going to get dropped.
00:31:47
Speaker
I think you're allowed to just read things. That's gotta be, this is America. You can just read things. You have to be able to. I know that Trump can't talk about the evidence being presented against him. It just didn't hook me right there. Well, it's different when you're reading it.
00:32:07
Speaker
Screen pans i mean they took they he took vince gilligan took like four paragraphs to describe how oh i can imagine are the camera panned up from yeah a scene that took in the show uh less than two seconds yeah but that's like yeah i mean that's him for sure that's crazy that he does that every single episode it's like dude i barely can remember the last fucking
00:32:36
Speaker
car handle that was painted red in the last scene that relates to some other season. Oh my gosh. Yeah. All the very significant like two crows. The episode opens on like a drops of water from a sink hitting, hitting a bowl of like discarded Chinese food. And it's like, exactly. Like what? Oh God. Okay. We're doing something artsy. I get it. What did you do before breaking bad? Uh,
00:33:07
Speaker
Oh, the main character? No. No. Billy. Malcolm in the middle was good. Malcolm in the middle was great. He wrote Hancock.
00:33:26
Speaker
What were we talking about? Was that a comedy? Would you call that a comedy? Hancock was two. Hancock was two movies and only one of them was good. I didn't even know it was two movies. No, I mean like the movie Hancock was actually two movies in one. And it was good. It was good until the part where he like discovers this other woman who also has superpowers that was like this, his wife that they both had amnesia or some shit. It should have just they should have left that part out.
00:33:55
Speaker
But they didn't and so then it was a bad movie Watch the El Camino, was that any good? Yeah, that was a fucking good movie at that. You did watch that I have no memory of the plot, but I watched It's basically all Jesse trying to escape from that fucking crazy pics Better call Saul any good
00:34:24
Speaker
Better. I mean, I've fucking loved Better Call Saul. Yeah, I love it. You got to be patient. I love Breaking Bad, but I couldn't get through the first season of Better Call Saul. I was like, Oh, shit, sucks. It's fucking retard doesn't want to come out of his house because he's scared of the sun, but he's just faking up. Yeah, I know. It's a slow burn, but that part isn't the whole. Yeah, that that ends eventually. You like. Yeah, I don't know. It's like Chuck.
00:34:54
Speaker
Chuck is a bitch, I guess, but I said, why it's tough to get tough, tough to power through it at first. I guess when it came, I was like, it was just the first like drop of breaking bad that everyone was waiting for. So it was awesome. Yeah.
00:35:14
Speaker
I was really excited for that TV show, The Walking Dead. The first season was pretty good. And then after that, I never. Oh, yeah. I think I watched Walking Dead until maybe like season five. And then it just got bad, bad. And I can't I don't even know. It's like made it. I don't know if it's still airing, but it made it to like an 11th season, I think. And you're just at that point, you're like,
00:35:38
Speaker
It's just it's just a money is just a cash grab at this point. You're just like, all right, how long can we let this thing go before we get canceled? Chris Pratt in that. Yeah, I think Chris Pratt plays one of the zombies. Okay.
00:35:58
Speaker
Really? Donald Trump's a zombie. Well, he's making that shit up because he plays the funny zombie. You think an alien took over Mitch McConnell's body and that's why he did that? No, he's a reptile. He was already an alien. OK, that's already basically if I can use a lizard. Right. You just have a stroke and they don't want to admit it. You like. Oh, I mean, yes, he had like a he had like a grand mal seizure or something, and they just didn't want to tell you.
00:36:28
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, that's another one. It's like, how is that not, how is that not like everyone? I mean, him, Dianne Feinstein, how is everyone not like, all right, cool, but like get these people out of office? Like no one cares. It's like, all right, you're allowed to just have a senator whose brain stops working while he's standing. I'm sure he makes- It's pretty crazy. I'm sure he makes good decisions on our behalf otherwise.
00:36:55
Speaker
I'm sure this woman who looks like literally like her face is mouth. She's so old, her skin is detaching from her skull. I'm sure I'm sure she's making sound, reasoned decisions. I'm sure this woman who was born before the Golden Gate Bridge was built. I'm sure she has a has a very relevant perspective on life in 2023. No one cares. They keep reelecting these people. This country is fucked.
00:37:26
Speaker
No, we'll be all right. Yeah, we'll be fine. We will be fine, but. Is it going to save us all? I still don't want these fucking career politicians just milking. Money. And not really actually doing their job, which is to represent their constituents and make our fucking lives better with the tax money we pay them.
00:37:51
Speaker
I mean, Mitch McConnell has to have like $100 million, right? Oh, definitely. Maybe he'll just have a accidental heart attack. He probably took the COVID vaccine. That's true. He probably got the double, the double triple boosties. Yeah, that's my favorite conspiracy theory right now is that the COVID vaccine is making all these people die suddenly.
00:38:21
Speaker
Do you think it would be that they got boosted and fucked up again or off the initial one? Yeah, I think it was the first one. You get everyone on the first one with whatever the thing is that...
00:38:37
Speaker
Um, you know, edits your DNA or puts like a kill switch in you. I think you would do it on the first, you'd probably do it on all of them. And then, you know, you just get that many more chances to get the kill switch in your DNA. I think maybe that they're just, uh, old and it's just a shot coming down from the UFOs. Oh yeah. It's definitely not the vaccine.
00:39:07
Speaker
As a reminder, all of us got that. As soon as we possibly could. Yeah. And I'm running for Congress spot. But the COVID vaccine, I got that shit. Me and Aidan spent an entire day of work trying to find. I was there that day. And we all did. We all did. And somehow you guys got the good one and I could only get it. That's true. But then since I killed people,
00:39:37
Speaker
I did get the one that killed people and I got it. What right before? Yeah, literally, I got it. And then a week later, they were like, they suspended it because of all those women getting blood clots. They're like, we got to edit the batch. We got to remix this batch. It works too good at killing people. Guys, just chill out. We'll mix it. It's all it was supposed. The killing wasn't supposed to start until 2023. You guys like another one we can get. You guys want the new one?
00:40:07
Speaker
We accidentally gave you guys the Russian Sputnik. So I got all three. So I think that like the Pfizer, all three. Yeah. I think the Pfizer like brain control, the Moderna brain control and they all, they're all fighting each other. Fighting for control. So, so that's why it's good. Fuck that. I'll never get another one.
00:40:31
Speaker
Another COVID vaccine or another vaccine? Another COVID vaccine. That shit made me so sick every time I got it. I don't think it worked. I told you that when I got the J&J one, for three days, I felt like I could punch through bulletproof glass. I felt indestructible. That's why they had to retake it back. I felt so good. And then the other two, I didn't feel anything to the point where I thought they didn't work. But I still haven't got COVID. So one way or another, they worked.
00:41:01
Speaker
gave me a really bad migraine. The second one gave me probably the worst migraine I've ever had. And I made the mistake of working from home that day instead of just like not working at all. Yeah. I got onto a business call and fucking got into like a big argument with one of the people because I felt so sick that I just felt like being bitchy. Oh yeah. Caused like a scene basically. Um,
00:41:28
Speaker
And then the third one made fun when you just pick a fight. Oh yeah. You kind of like justifiably pick a fight, but everyone's like, whoa, why is this happening? Those are great. I was like, you don't have a wash pad in this design. What the fuck is wrong with you? And then just kept on banging on it for about five, 10 minutes.
00:41:50
Speaker
Oh, what else? I got the third one and I got stupid sick from that ruined my entire weekend. And then I came back and got COVID like immediately. That sucks. Damn. Then he went right through it. Yeah. Yeah. It really wasn't that bad. The only bad part of the whole thing was I, I, um, never stopped smoking weed.
00:42:14
Speaker
Cause I was just like, this is just what I do. And, uh, I was out for a walk with the dog and my wife and we were probably on like a, the loop that we would do was like two and a half miles or so. And we got all the way out to the halfway point and I was like, so winded from smoking a joint and walking that I was like, I might have to sit down and have you come back and pick me up.
00:42:39
Speaker
Oh my God. That would have been so embarrassing. Oh yeah. Cause we were just like in a neighborhood. We were in that neighborhood across the street from the apartment complex I lived in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And like, if the neighbor had come out, I would have been like, you can't like, don't approach me. I have COVID. Don't worry. My wife is coming to get me. Did you go anywhere with COVID? Anywhere in the public?
00:43:06
Speaker
All right. When we were both sick, we went and picked up groceries. We were just like, I opened up the bed of the truck and the guy came. That's not bad. That's, that's safe. Yeah. I mean, that's like, you have to eat. You're safe. Yeah. In Korea, the government delivered groceries to your house, but in America where they didn't give you a choice, you had to do that. Yeah. That was kind of fucked. They didn't really figure that part out for anybody. They're like, eh, have fun. Other than going for walks, I didn't go anywhere.
00:43:38
Speaker
Yeah, if you had COVID, they were like, stay home and die. It would have been so much easier if they're like, don't worry, we'll drop some shit off at all your guys' houses.
00:43:49
Speaker
I mean, the good thing now is like, if you do get sick, you can just go get the antiretrovirals. I don't even understand why it's, people should even be nervous about it anymore. What does that do? Does it just take out the problem? It just knocks it out. It's like Thermoflu. If you get, if you get the flu, but you know that you have it within like the first two days of your symptoms, you can go and get this shit that just like... Thermoflu. Thermoflu, thank you. Thermoflu is the tea stuff, isn't it?
00:44:17
Speaker
where you just go and you take that and it significantly reduces the sickness itself and the length of the sickness. Oh, shit. But they have that for COVID now too. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, fuck that shit. That shit did suck. I'm sure there's still some people out there who are worried about COVID specifically, but I assume the people that I see now who still wear masks.
00:44:48
Speaker
are just doing it because they think there might be a next thing. They're just like, for here, from here on out, I'm always gonna wear a mask. That's wild. Yeah, I could see that. There's still people at work who do that, which is... Masked up? Yeah. It's just uncomfortable. At the stores, I still see them.
00:45:15
Speaker
Yeah, sometimes I'm like people on planes. I'm like, I kind of get that. But like on the plane, I'm like, man, I should just fuck. I didn't breathe too well with that on a plane. Well, and supposedly the like how frequently they recycle the air in planes, it's like.
00:45:33
Speaker
not even super necessary. Uh, Hey, when you're in behind someone that's just like sneezing the whole time, like, yeah, fucking kill me. Why am I on this thing? There was, um, there was this one flight where during COVID and I was flying from Vegas to Boston and I wasn't sick.
00:45:56
Speaker
And there was somebody, we had the middle seat separating us, but there was somebody in the same row as me, but just one seat apart. And like, for whatever reason.
00:46:05
Speaker
It was like during takeoff or something when they're like a time when they can't come help you. My nose just decided it was going to start like pouring out. It's not like didn't have a cough, wasn't sick or anything, but it was just something with like the pressure change or the humidity in there. And my nose was just like, yeah, we're just going to leak like a faucet right now. Oh, no. And so what can you do? And I didn't I couldn't ask the flight attendant for like a napkin or anything. I couldn't get up. So I'm just sitting there like like going just like like
00:46:36
Speaker
And like trying to not be like trying to do that but then also not be noticed as I like wipe like snot on my hand But that was great some sugar on your hand then people would always thought you were doing coke. Yeah That's a great alternative. This is just some dude leaving Vegas whatever Through the that would have been way less alarming
00:47:03
Speaker
When we were in Pitt one time, we were out getting drinks and we were with a person who was nervous about COVID and they were wearing a mask and I was sitting next to them and I wasn't sick, but I got the spicy marg. And when I went to take a sip of it, I like inhaled some of the tajin or whatever that was on the rim of it. And I started like just uncontrollably coughing to the point where like your eyes are watering.
00:47:30
Speaker
Yeah. They were not pumped. They were like very upset that I was coughing. They were giving me dirty looks and they actually even said something. I was like, I can't stop. Like I cannot stop coughing. I started sweating and everything because I was coughing so hard. Yeah, that was the worst. Make you do it. They were like, could you please get tested? That shit sucked so much. Please come ahead. The brain tickle.
00:47:59
Speaker
When you were supposed to get like a, and I guess they never checked. Yeah. When they made you get a test within 24 hours of flying. Yeah. And they were like, we might check. So do it. Yeah, that doesn't make sense. I was traveling. I mean, back then I was traveling twice a month. So like I had to go to this fucking random ass rapid testing place in Vegas.
00:48:25
Speaker
And it's always like within 24 hours. So it's like, whatever day I'm flying, I have to inconvenience myself to go to this place at least like, like no more than two days before. And if it's two days before, then you're going like late in the day. Um, and they're not cheap. I was like spending a buck 60 every time. Damn. Mine were free every time. Luckily. Mine was 50 bucks. Nice rapid tests. And you just do it yourself in your car and then drive through. Oh, damn. No, I fucking still was lame as hell though.
00:48:55
Speaker
It was like the same kind of building that a spirit Halloween opens up in, not a real business, but it was like Fong's like rapid COVID testing center, just like vinyl banner, like stapled to the outside of a building where you're like, yeah, you threw this up. This was an abandoned building two weeks ago. Mine was just in a parking lot with a pop-up tent over it. These people just had a folding table and fucking rapid tests. And there you go.
00:49:22
Speaker
I had a buddy on the Massachusetts side. I had a buddy who did, who had one in Kendall square that would do, that would basically would do it for free for me. Cause we were homies. And again, that was like such a racket. He was talking to me about it. It was like, he was like, Oh yeah, we just, we don't even, we don't even have to pay for the space. We, he was like, we give the people in this building a discount. And so they just let us set up in their lobby for free.
00:49:49
Speaker
So, he gets a prime rapid testing site in the middle of Kendall Square in Cambridge, didn't pay any rent to be there, and charged not friends, like 100 bucks every test, and they would always run out of supplies. So, they were just clearing. However many they got in that day, 400 tests, they were clearing that money every single day.
00:50:14
Speaker
It's crazy. And it's not complicated, right? Like once we got the at-home tests, whatever tech that bad is, is the same tech that those people were using. They just take your violin to like a back room, put a few drops on a thing. And if it turns red, then you have COVID. Like we weren't getting anything more sophisticated from them. Yeah, I was thinking of that. I don't even think I ever had to send those tests to anybody.
00:50:39
Speaker
No. All those times I got them, no one ever asked. Yeah, never. Remember the first one we went on, Aidan? Where we went down, when we came back, we came back to work like the next day. Yeah. We didn't get tested and everybody was like, oh my God, you were in Florida and you didn't get tested. Yeah, you shut down the facility that day. Yeah, I didn't do shit.
00:51:06
Speaker
Yeah. A week later, there was like 14 people sick. They called out. Yeah. Ruined all the families. We came outside and next week everybody was crying and throwing blood on us. There you go. Throwing blood all over us. Yep. They canceled Easter that year. Easter was canceled. They threw hot dogs at us on Easter.
00:51:38
Speaker
But the craziest thing that I can remember from that is like people obviously nobody knew what the hell was going on. And there was all that kind of like, I don't want to call it fake reporting because they probably had seen some of this stuff, but didn't know how to explain it. But they were like, Oh man, like a cardboard box that we tested still had a COVID particle. Like, you know, three weeks or whatever. And somebody at the business we were working at was like,
00:52:07
Speaker
How can we sell this product? It comes in a cardboard box and like people are going to get killed by it. I was like, damn. So what are we supposed to do? Just shut the whole business down and all of us are just fucked. I think. Open up a rapid covid test in the lobby. Yeah. It's the only way. Oh, my God. Remember when we had a.
00:52:30
Speaker
Remember when we had the COVID monitors or somebody who was just stand at the front door with masks to hand out at a temperature gun? Yeah, you'd walk in during the winter and they'd test your head and it'd be like four degrees and they'd be like, you're good.
00:52:49
Speaker
That shit never made sense, dude. Yeah, you're good. You're good. It says I'm 47 degrees Fahrenheit. You had to pick your mask up. Like, fuck you. You're good. Pick your mask up. You're good. You're good. Oh, man. And then they would walk around the halls and yell at people, too. That almost sucked. Hall monitor.
00:53:18
Speaker
No jurisdiction. No. Dude, fuck you. Just paddle, paddle the compliance.
00:53:27
Speaker
That job must've legit sucked so much, dude. I know. You just sit at a desk all day and you're like, you're good. You're like, well, I guess I'm first line of defense. If I, if someone does have COVID, it just comes to me. I guess I get it sick. I get it. And then I go around the whole building telling people then they get it. So then you're good.
00:53:52
Speaker
And also you've chosen to get into a job that, you know, has, uh, an expiration date. I should just show up to a meeting with like, uh, and 95 and a face shield on just a business shirt. You might get fired down there. They'd be like, what the fuck? Hey guys, this, we don't remember this. This is still real.
00:54:20
Speaker
We're going to get flagged. This podcast is going to get flagged for COVID. Seeing people in suit jackets and like a mask, like a shitty fucking dental mask on. Or like one of the homemade ones that's like falling halfway off their face the whole time. I was on an airplane one time.
00:54:45
Speaker
And you know how like your kids had to have it on too, if they were older than like a year old or whatever. And there was this little kid and he wouldn't wear it. And it was before takeoff and the, um,
00:54:59
Speaker
the Stortus or whatever you refer to those people as actually wanted to kick the family off the airplane. Jesus Christ. They're like, Oh yeah, you have to keep the mask on. And the guy was like, I'm trying, but he's, you know, he's like a little kid and they're like, yeah, if you don't keep the mask on, you have to get off. And they kept, they delayed takeoff. So I could argue with that family. That was one of the worst flights I've ever been on.
00:55:30
Speaker
Well, maybe not the worst of all time, but definitely the worst. No, the worst of all time was the one from the old woman. Now the one with the old woman wasn't that bad. I thought you were going to say the, the, the one.
00:55:55
Speaker
the one from Florida to Charlotte where I sat in the wrong seat and the woman yelled at me. Oh my God. And then you just sat next to her, right? Then we'd just have to sit next to her. Next door. Yeah. That was wild tapes. I was supposed to be in the aisle and I was sitting in the window and then she'd like screamed at me. And then the dude who was supposed to be sitting in the middle was sitting in my seat. So then I had to sit in the middle next to her for the rest of the fight.
00:56:22
Speaker
Yeah, it wasn't even like you had the wrong aisle. You were like, nope, we're still going to sit next to each other this whole fucking time. Yeah, she she was real mad at me. And then she took her shoes off. And oh, man, how people make hemp bracelets.
00:56:37
Speaker
Yep. You're like three pieces of happy and tie the little knot on the end. She put the knot over her toe and then made. Oh my God. The seat next to me. Oh my God. Then the dude next to me fell asleep, took his mask off and fell asleep and just breathed in my face. That might be one of the worst. Yeah, that doesn't sound great. That's fucked.
00:57:04
Speaker
I don't know. What, uh, what are you referring to? 9 11, maybe the one before 2002 is what all I was going to say. I'm not going to say any names. The one Mark Wahlberg could have helped with. If you pray it a little harder. Damn. I do not miss flying.
00:57:36
Speaker
Flying just sucks now because all the flights are always delayed. Flying just sucks in general, dude. Yeah. You have to get there early. All that sucks, dude. I hate it. Too much. Too many people are on there. It's their big day.
00:57:59
Speaker
Yeah, it's not a big fucking day. Bad geographical city for people who think it's like a special day for them. Yes, I know. It's the worst. It is like we're seeing those people have the time ruined, too. Guys, it's not fun. No, no fun in fucking games on these planes, guys. We're all being serious here.
00:58:33
Speaker
Parking parking is probably the worst part about the airport. Oh, I don't mind the parking part.
00:58:41
Speaker
It was a little late one morning and they had shut down like almost all of central parking, but they had also shut down all the satellite parking lots at Boston. Oh, well, yeah, that was just a that was just a fuck you to some one particular person. I drive a truck and I was trying to like the only spot that was open was like this little tiny spot that you had to come into a weird angle at. I finally got my truck into it, but there was a pole jutting out from the back. So like the front end of my truck was sticking out into the fucking
00:59:12
Speaker
like road, main aisle. I just had to leave it. That's good. That nobody hit it or I didn't get towed while I was gone. Luckily nothing happened, but that was a shit morning. That's all good. That works. This is run out of it. Yep. Well, I find that morning I missed the exit on the pike. So then I had to drive around and back up to God. Yeah. I'm missing that one exit. You're like, all right, I got to go to like,
00:59:42
Speaker
I've written turnaround now. Sucked. There's no other more like nervous feeling than missing an exit on the way to the airport. What about forgetting your wallet? Yeah. That's pretty bad. That's really bad. The like one and only time where like we were traveling in pubs and I were like, well, we should just drive together.
01:00:05
Speaker
Uh, and I'd go, I pick up pops at his apartment. And then I'm like, literally as I'm like parked waiting for him to come out, I was like, I don't have my wallet on me. And so we had to go back to my apartment, get my wallet and then go to the airport. And we were still fine, but I was definitely sweating the whole time. We were pretty close to each other, but we were just far enough away that it was like. Yeah. Like I don't, I don't do two hours before the flight. So that 20 minutes that it took for me to get from your place to mine was like, was, was the buffer.
01:00:39
Speaker
Yeah, it's about good All right, I gotta go to bed
01:00:55
Speaker
That is the end of the episode from the biggest and most profound podcast since gasoline was invented. We appreciate you listening, please subscribe and download. Shoutout to our sponsors, airplanes, planes that fly in the air, non-Tesla cars. Bye.