Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Killdozer vs Stevie Paddock
195 Plays5 months ago
Join our Patreon & Save our lives patreon.com/DudesRUs
New episodes & Patreon episodes weekly, soon to come more content
Join the Reddit make us feel bad r/dudesrus
We love you please subscribe and leave a review
Recommended
Transcript
Holiday Greetings
00:00:02
Speaker
Happy National Prayer Day. Stay prayed up. God bless you. Dutesara saved my life. was please Hello everyone, it is me. I would like to wish everyone a happy Valentine's Day. I hope that everyone here is able to spend the day with those who are important to them.
American Politics and Society
00:00:27
Speaker
Why does not America look like Dubai in Germany? And why doesn't America look like Russia and Persia? And where the is the money go?
00:00:40
Speaker
we but So I know Trump is innocent. I support Trump against his corrupt two-tiered justices. That's why I'm here to show my support as a black man for Trump. And I wear my shirt niggas for Trump 2024. And I mean that.
Psychedelic Experience
00:00:55
Speaker
mes no conversation My buddy told me this is just a micro dose of mushrooms and he was lying. So I'll be honest, I thought I was in waves of glory for most of the time that I was out there until it sort of settled down and then I realized holy f***ing time at the NHL all-star game. So I know we talked about this yesterday, but with some of the feedback that I get, you know, I feel like I need to do a part two. I just want to let you know, just because your dog is raised in a black household does not make your dog black.
00:01:30
Speaker
the can Sending positive vibes and good energy to everyone. Let's have a day,
Podcasting Challenges
00:01:37
Speaker
people. everything if So even though the podcast is doing really well and the response has been great, I am going to take a pause on it for now. We are not able to get the type of guests that I'd like on the show like say Jack Harlow or Drake or Post Malone.
00:02:00
Speaker
So anyways in reference to this like part two of the previous video this man tried to claim he thought he thought my ass was too round. no more way
00:02:12
Speaker
claims that his job has cost him several
Wildlife Encounters
00:02:15
Speaker
relationships. Please welcome Robert Faggot.
00:02:22
Speaker
Welcome to Dudes R Us. We are locked in this week and will never be stopped. We are the best dressed yuppies in the podcast industry. Please review us on Spotify and iTunes. why
00:02:44
Speaker
Hey, let's fucking go. Three minutes. Fisher fishing around in the Cheez-Its box. All right. Now that we're back, now the sky nuts back up. I really think what I'm going to do is put a snare trap out. When I get the coyote in it, I'm going to fucking cut a little piece off of it every day. Oh, my God. And feed it to the chickens so that they get more powerful. Yeah, you're going to Roy de Mayo it. Mm hmm. Just remember that shit. taken here one day.
00:03:19
Speaker
How big was it probably? Always surprising coyotes are like 14 pounds sometimes. I know this thing was like 6065 pounds. This one's a big fucking coyote. God damn that's fucking huge. Yeah, blow that motherfucker up. Yeah, I know retarded when I was wandering around in the woods in the dark with a fucking flashlight and a BB gun. These are these are pack animals. There's definitely five of them and they're all this big. There isn't a tree just looking down at you. You're like going out there like acid protection at Target and just yell at them and that's it. Hey, get out of here.
00:04:06
Speaker
We'll come back. Go. Maybe I'll go up to New Hampshire and go to like a um phantom fireworks and buy one of those mortar. Yeah, hell yeah. just Shoot a firework into it. if it set the Forest on fire right behind your house. good Tons of fountain fireworks out there. thats
00:04:32
Speaker
Dude, yeah, I would have fired fucking shots off. That's a good idea. I think you just got to start pissing around your house. I do all the time. Who doesn't? Yeah, true. Yeah, that's true. Throw some hair out there, shave your head and throw your hair around. Dog goes out and pee all the time. Marlow took one out, chased one down one time, but it's tough with coyotes. They literally don't give a fuck. Well, when you got this catch 22, either Marlow can protect the chickens from
Social Credit Systems
00:04:59
Speaker
ah coyotes or, or you attack Amazon delivery drivers. There's,
00:05:05
Speaker
allegedly allegedly ah that that we could put that part on the patreon there's no no court agents gonna pay through a paywall i don't know what you're talking about allegedly i think uh he would probably just eat the chickens honestly true. Yeah, fucking dude. I'm wearing a I'm wearing this coyote wolf shirt right now. I went to the fucking splash pad rocking this thing today. Hell yeah. Yeah, there was a classic. Maybe he was like 20 years old.
00:05:46
Speaker
ah I mean, he was like a hybrid retarded guy. You know what I mean? Didn't like wasn't full down syndrome, but definitely retarded. He came out of the cut out of nowhere. in a reflective orange under armor and a panty pack. He had first aid supplies. Military hat. Military hat. Under Armour reflective fanny pack and then of course all black like Under Armour and new balances just rocking it just went right to the splash pad and Obviously, it's for little kids. He gets an exception obviously ah Hit it up real quick took a little appetizer of the splash pad
00:06:35
Speaker
put his under armor back on, just immediately ripped it up at the playground right next, right next to it. Then just kept coming in and out of the splash pad. It was so fucking funny, dude. You're going to see that dude every day now. I hope so. He was fucking getting after it. Then there was, uh, there was another, another dad that just, uh,
00:07:00
Speaker
I mean, you know you know how ah black people are. He was wearing slippers in the splash pad, and the splash pad walking around just fully soaking wet slippers. ah but And then he got up and walked out and went to the parking lot and clearly just lit up a blunt because it just reeked like a weed for the next half hour. And I never saw him again.
00:07:27
Speaker
And then the retarded guy just kept coming in and popping in and out. I respect that shit, dude. My wife was a little freaked out. And then I told him, I was like, it's all good. He's safe. He's he's like eight years old in his mind. Yeah. Yeah. He warmed it right up on the splash pad, though. My guy was full effect, dude. I had to write it down in notes to make sure I got. Yeah, he went. Then he went to the park and went straight to obstacles because there was like an obstacle course, I guess, of like fabricated logs. He was just parkouring the shit out of him. Yes. Then when I left, he was just eyeing up a wall like he was trying to figure out his fucking attack mode on that. At this point, the hat was backwards. The military hat was backwards. He was just doing drills. He's ready.
00:08:20
Speaker
ah was such a fucking a funny event did splash pads a cheat code for kids are just fucking lay on top of the fucking sprinklers the whole time grabbing rocks and passing them around they love that That was so fucking funny, dude. But yeah, that dude just walking, trudging through it in full slippers just soaked was so fucking funny and just went and just went into his car and smoked the blunt. Now, that's hilarious. I wrote down straight. I went. I wrote down retarded guy, went to splash pad, then straight to desert on the obstacle course.
00:09:07
Speaker
And then here's another note that I wrote down while I was there. Imagine living in China, l LOL.
00:09:18
Speaker
That shit sucks. There's no good parts. No, now you have a fucking credit score on your head every time you walk around. You're either in like the 90% of the country that's that is still ah it is still in the 1700s where they don't have effective electricity yet, or you're in one of the 10 cities where everyone lives and you're just stacked on top of people. Yeah, and you have your face captured on everything.
00:09:49
Speaker
And you, yeah, you have a social credit score, which is like you Jay walked. Now you can't get a house. Do the people that live in the woods have a credit score? I think they probably do that. It would, it would be shocking to me if the Chinese government didn't know every pretty much everyone that lived there. They probably wouldn't care. Yeah. If you're like way out and you know, to like, Western part of the country where you're just growing like Turnips or something. Yeah, ah probably they don't care that much big nasty vegetables somewhere yeah they believe knife turn Just some weird root some weird spicy likeking car says vegetable ah They don't care as long as you're not a Uyghur, right? Yeah
00:10:41
Speaker
Do you think they rounded them all up in the Holiday Inn and fingerprinted them and shit? Yes. They're like, come to your nearest Holiday Inn. We're going to get everybody. I think they just roll through, yeah. Check your picture. Get your fingerprints. Take 10% of your weird roots. yeah Yeah, kick up to the boss right there. You got to fucking get that. Eat it raw. I don't even want them. They just have to take something to like prove they're powerful.
00:11:12
Speaker
What do you think that guy was eating today on Instagram? That Chinese guy with just corners of fucking eel or something baloney. So gross. That was horrifying. Just a giant like like the equivalent of like six, like the equivalent of like six hamburgers worth of like a just slice of raw fish skin. Fucking probably there's bones in there. That was the nastiest shit. You know those little seaweed Pokemon ball things even looked pretty good though. I Didn't watch it that far. I just saw the shapes and stuff on top of the fucking baloney pieces It's like a two-inch thick baloney piece. I don't even think it is who knows I Can't think about it. Just just chomping Yes, fucking slab of raw fish
00:12:05
Speaker
That's what I'm on with that ah other guy that I send you all the time that does the eating in his truck bongos ramen meal every day. I'd rather see that. kids ten I'd rather see that shit and i always pulling a weird ass sea urchin out and fucking munching it like a fucking psycho. Oh man, this guy update guy just got out. He flicked off everybody out and when he got to the parking lot now, His first ah prison stop at the convenience store is a red bull and he's smoking like a marble light right now. Hell yeah. Hopping on a Greyhound bus. Holy shit.
00:12:45
Speaker
Dude, come on. You got it. You can't go marble light after you get out of prison. That's true. Is it me or marble lights? Always were like felt like they had like three filters in the one. You can never get a full fucking drag of them. It's not worth it. They all suck. Do you think that there's some people I knew that got cartons of them and I kind of related it to like people that drink Diet Coke. It's like the marble light is Diet Coke of like, I guess once you get into them, you never get out. My ah my aunt and uncle on my mom's side who have smoked my entire life and longer smoke Marb ultra lights. Holy shit. Yeah.
00:13:27
Speaker
pack a day ultra light smokers. You're like, what is the point? Yup. One of my buddies, mom did that. We would have to steal those and they sucked every time. Yeah. Then his dad smoked Winston's. Oh my God. His dad was a British dude. Yeah. So we were stealing ultra lights and Winston's not, not a win-win situation at all.
00:13:54
Speaker
trying to think I used to when I like in the poorest I ever was, uh, after college, but when I was making like, you know, like under 30,000 a year and paying Boston rent and stuff, i think I was smoking USA golds for yeah a few months. That was like the worst I've ever been. some security guard, I would always bum a cigarette off when I worked at the Marriott. He fucking was like half dead. He was like five foot four and he was like 300 pounds and bald. And he would smoke like three packs a day, a 702s or whatever they are, menthols, ultra light menthols. And I just got used to him. I needed to bum one every day. He got like purple. He was always coughing in the smoke check. It was insane. I was like, Dan's going to die any fucking day of the week here, man.
00:14:43
Speaker
You just got that old guy thing where like all the veins in their face are purple. Oh, yeah. His nose was huge. Always sitting in the smoke shack. It was just a room that they had in the whatever, like the how a hotel has the bottom covered parking underneath. There's just a backup employee box that they had with heaters and benches. And it was just a hot box and cigarettes every time in it. It rolled so hard. It was awesome.
00:15:15
Speaker
I used to really like the cools, cools in the green pack. I don't think I've ever smoked a cool. Never smoked a cool. Not because I didn't, not because I wouldn't have. I would have smoked if there was that occasion where you want a cigarette and whatever. I don't think I was ever offered a cool in my life. No, I don't think so. Yeah. Everybody was just smoking new ports. New ports for sure.
00:15:40
Speaker
Camel any every kind of camel including the fucking filterless camels was really cool shit was really cool for like two months In my 20s. We all smoked filterless camels and then we're like this sucks. Yeah, it sucks so badly. I Was rolling my own when I was in Europe, that was pretty cool for a little bit those two did just roll them up tobacco But yeah, you get addicted to it
00:16:09
Speaker
Yeah. New ports. And then I smoked Newport Reds when I was on a ton of fucking drugs. Sometimes I'm always weird. I never understood why people got those. They were decent though. The filters on those will always look fucking weird. Like super spotted. They're like leopardy, I would say.
00:16:31
Speaker
Damn. Might be on. Might be on team. Karen Reed didn't do it, bro. Oh yeah. Um, I don't know what's happened since the last time we talked about it. I know there's been a whole other week of stuff now, but I, I listened to a podcast that came out maybe a week ago. So I don't think that I'm caught up either, but do you want to give them a shout out or no? There's a, well, no, they don't need it. They got like 750 episodes plus a shitload of subscribers. They don't need a shout out. Yeah, fuck them. Fuck those guys. You pay us. Fuck that podcast. You give us a shout out. But they don't have four Patreon subscribers. Yeah, that's right. We're coming for you. Whatever that probably some dumb podcast is. They get beer or something.
00:17:24
Speaker
They get beer. Wow. One of the things. All right, but whatever, but you know, the, uh, let's see the the weird things, right?
Legal Discussions
00:17:34
Speaker
The, um, how long for someone to die and the cold. I mean, that one, we went extensively into that last week, but I, that one's really hard to get around. The, uh, yeah, you're not just curious about that, but walking up multiple flights of stairs on his, according to his cell phone, his cell phone. poll Yeah. They're starting to pull metadata from his cell phone and they're going to try to use that as like admissible in court. Right. So they say that his cell phone shows that he walked up like six flights of stairs after Karen Reed dropped them off.
00:18:16
Speaker
Oh, damn. So she didn't hit him with her car. I still think she hit him. But I do think that he like went into the house with some help and whoever was there that didn't like him just fucking saw their opportunity. This bitch hit me with a fucking car. Well, they they had a forensic. Yo, fuck that bitch. Blows them down the stairs. had They drew blood of Karen the next day. And then they backed what they would have thought her blood alcohol would have been based on what it was when they drew it. it doesn't work And they were like, yeah, it should have been like a 0.2. They also have her on camera drinking like fucking nine vodka drinks and then getting in her car and driving. the
00:19:05
Speaker
resist job but And they also have the, so this part's just like kind of funny. It feels bad to talk shit about the guy who died, but fucking douchebags, a police officer, and he gets into his car with a cocktail. Oh my God. It's fucking rules for the, but not for me. What kind of car was he driving? Like a red Ford truck? Oh no. He was just riding with Karen in the car, but still you can't have an open beverage. Yeah. yeah No open containers. That's illegal. Uh, as long as you can't reach them, right?
00:19:40
Speaker
No, it has to be sealed. Sure. But you can't be sitting in the fucking front seat with an open cocktail. Those drivers. Yeah, not that. i'm I'm just saying I probably have like three or four bottle open bottles of liquor in my car right now. But they're I can't reach them from the driver's seat. That probably doesn't matter. No, it doesn't matter unless you fucking they smell it on you. I don't do that. I never do that. Emotional support bottles.
00:20:10
Speaker
Be like officer. It's a, it's a liqueur. No one drinks. No one gets a drunk on that. Some people do officer. Do you really think I was drinking herb saint?
00:20:31
Speaker
Tim fucking like three out of four of these dudes that were on lockup for all of them all died.
00:20:39
Speaker
That surprises you. Just being dopers.
00:20:45
Speaker
ah Maybe I got to explore Alabama a little bit. What the hell is going on over there? Yeah. ah shitty don't I mean, I'm, I'm down for like the content of it. If you do a little exploring and then come back with, uh, uh, some stories, but object objectively, don't go to Alabama. Have you ever seen that movie Mississippi burning? No. No, nevermind. It's not gonna make any sense. Oh, there he goes.
00:21:24
Speaker
No, I'm on here. Hold on. I'm good. We're good. ah cut off growing Keep Keep rolling. Keep it going. Um, the, uh, Cheez-It Taco Bell stuff dropped last week. What was that? I couldn't read it. Just a magic card. There's a new there's a new edition, whatever dropping this week, right? You're going to eat one. No, I was talking about magic kept cards. ah No, I got the um yeah, I got the the Cheez-It stuff. I got the.
00:22:07
Speaker
The tostada. It's a cheese on a fuck. I didn't know there was stuff on the cheese because I saw someone that just got it and nothing on it. Well, yes. So you so you can order you. They were ordering basically just for the ridiculousness of a giant cheese that they were just going online and ordering the tostada and then like subtract tomatoes, subtract lettuce, subtract sour cream, subtract.
Food Critiques
00:22:29
Speaker
So they're basically just paying four ninety nine for a giant cheese, which is kind of worth it for to do once.
00:22:37
Speaker
I got some, I was in Tampa Tuesday night. I got some Mexican from a highly rated Mexican place. Shit sucked. I should've went to Taco Bell. What was it? Name and shame. I was like Mikasa or something, bro. Like what the fuck is that? It was like a, it was, I could walk there. So it was like a minute walk. I was rated. I trust the ratings, highly rated by like 700 people. Shit, fuck that shit. That shit sucked. And then, um, maybe I'm spoiled. I'm like my place here. Uh, and my new place all like those, you know, pressed fresh tortillas every time and yeahp all that legit shit. This shit sucked, dude. Yeah. This place looks dumb. Fucking sucked. I got a burrito. I was wondering. enchilato Wanted a burrito. Wasn't good. Gordo's wet burrito.
00:23:36
Speaker
Yeah, I was thinking about getting that. I'm glad I didn't. What is it? What burrito is just sitting in some fucking? Yeah, they they make the burrito and then they put some kind of like. Something on it, you know, like and like a salsa or like that consummate, they would put on like a beer, a taco or something. Oh, yes. Now it's ah it's a burrito. You can't eat with your hands because they covered it in shit. The breeze and spy here now are unbelievable. I can't get them them. I can't go that much because they're so good. So fucking good, dude. Everything comes in super styrofoam. Yeah. The way God intended. You're not pressing fucking flour tortillas or whatever in the back or I guess both, right? Cause you do the same. Yeah. Corn and flour. If you're not making them right there, you got a fucking problem. You get out of here. If you don't have one of those fucking,
00:24:33
Speaker
I never got it. You probably know what it is, Jared. You're Mexican with the fucking drink, fucking fountains of Mexican juice that are coming around. I don't know. It's horchata and then there's another one. There's two machines and I don't even know, but all ah all the Mexicans in there love that shit. And I'm like, I'm just going to stick with the Pepsi. It's like one of those like dispensers that's like comes like a fountain that just keeps coming up and around. You know what I mean? yep i have Yeah. I don't know how to describe it. Straight out of the 90s. But yeah, I need that shit, dude. Didn't see any of that when I walked in this place. I was like, God damn what I get myself into. Should have went to Taco Bell. Should have got this crispy Cantina chicken taco.
00:25:27
Speaker
I got a Taco Bell tomorrow. That sounds good. See how many days ah I can eat strictly healthy for. I'm on day two, so we'll see how this goes.
00:25:43
Speaker
I didn't eat dinner. I just had these chomps at the trail mix and some fruit. I'll tell you what, though, I got into the refried beans game, guys. i had refried bean and cheese and rice ah burrito at the house earlier, it was really good. Yeah, dude, beans and rice all you need, all the nutrients you need to live. Then I got red beans and rice I need to make. So we'll see how that goes. I just need to get a bunch of chicken thighs from up the road.
00:26:24
Speaker
Fucking love refried beans. Thinking of getting on the charcoal grill game. Like, how long does it take? I put the charcoal. All right. I got the grill. I put the charcoal in. I got to throw lighter fluid on it. No lighter fluid. Not really. Yeah, they're pretty like whatever. Right. Could I turn my regular grill to a charcoal grill? No. No pre-soaked nothing. You just get the original bag of fucking you get this thing called a chimney. Oh yeah, the chimney. You get the original Kingsford or whatever you get lump charcoal, you do whatever you want, but you put them in the chimney, you get these little things called tumbleweeds, you put them on your grill, you light it, you set the chimney on top of it. 15 minutes later, there should be flames coming out the top of the chimney, you dump the charcoal, throw the grill top back on, let it warm up. Probably like 15 to 20 minutes. What's the chimney? but What does that just come with the grill?
00:27:25
Speaker
No, you have to buy it, but it's only like 10 bucks. It just holds all the charcoal together so that you can get it burning at the bottom or the top at the bottom. Where's it? Put the little thing underneath. I'll just send it to you in the chat. It's like a big metal tube and it's got a thing that like the bottom opens and you fill it with the charcoal and then you um opens top opens and then you, uh, It's like contained, but air flows through so that you can get all the charcoal going without like wind or shit, making it difficult. And then when it's all like well lit, then you just dump it into the to grill and it's good to go. I might put it on my deck, so I don't know. Wind won't be that bad. I send me over a ah decent one that's not expensive that I could buy charcoal grill. Yeah, yeah.
00:28:20
Speaker
I'm not trying to break the bank here. I mean, the, what is the like standard Weber? Cause I have two grills. Oh yeah. I got one of those on the property. They just left one of these around here.
00:28:34
Speaker
I got a, there's a Weber out there. You think I could just reef. We fucking just open. Yeah. it's man It's the same one that you have, but I'm like, I don't know. I was probably been sitting here for a year. Now you could use it. You start cleaning out the inside, maybe pressure washing it. And if your grate's all gross, you can just go to Home Depot and buy a new grate. Shut the fuck up. I can go get a new grate. Yeah, probably. So much doggy dog world out here, the owl's probably just killed whatever the fuck was in there. Oh, fuck. There you go. Get it out. Yeah, I need to fucking get that smell going at the charcoal. I smelled some people growing at the park the other day.
00:29:18
Speaker
But bro, I got so much, I got probably eight full propane tanks that I still have just sitting around from hurricane season of four. Shoot them. So maybe I'll just keep those for my generator here. Or we could shoot them. You could honestly do that out here, man. No one fucking will. You could do, you could blow a fucking house up out here. We could get some Tannerite, hook it on to one of them. The whole fucking house on fire, like half a mile down the road the other day. There's volunteer fire department guys just going to work on it.
00:29:56
Speaker
Driving up to the Adirondacks one time with my old man, and it was probably like nine o'clock at night when we were driving through this little tiny town.
Fire Stories
00:30:06
Speaker
And we like get out onto the outskirts on the highway and all of a sudden way off in the distance, you can just see this glow as we get closer and closer, bro. It was an entire house just completely on fire. Like burning down to the studs. Yeah, that sucks. We like pulled up to it and looked at it and we're like, Oh man, that sucks. Well, we got to keep going. So we're just gonna keep driving. Yeah. That was a crazy thing. We drove by the same exact thing, dude, but we drove by.
00:30:34
Speaker
30 minutes before going to the store and it was just normal house as it always is. And then we come back. We're like, what the fuck is this bro? It is down to the studs burnt the shit out. Crazy. The Fens and Fenway fucking burn a few times. Yeah. That happened. Like felt like it happened every year. I think it's just electrical shit that just goes out sometime. Oh damn. People's houses. Yeah. The fence now is just like two homeless dudes lighting shit on fire. Yeah. I found cigarette, but I distinctly remember a year that who knows it could be like, you know, it could be like Las Vegas bump stock propaganda, but they were like, the fire was started by a carelessly put out cigarette. And you're like, prove it. You're telling me that it burned like five acres of land.
00:31:26
Speaker
And you were able to trace that to a cigarette, but that definitely was incinerated. They know, dude. but Yeah, they know.
00:31:40
Speaker
What kind of cigarette is the question that they need to be asked? Probably like a Benson and hedges. Oh, God. Oh, I bought those one time and regretted it. Yeah. Yeah, you did. They had that cool box, though, and the clamshell. Yeah. Nope. Yeah. When I was really hungover one day and when I woke up, I reached over to get my water on my desk and I hit the water and it spilled on the, on the pack of Benson and edges. And I was too poor to lose an entire pack of cigarettes. So I just had to take a lighter and fucking drive them all and smoke a bunch of weird half fucking dry cigarettes for the next week. it does It doesn't something about, I mean, it probably makes sense, but something about them getting like,
00:32:25
Speaker
wet and then drying out, they change. Yeah, they've had that happen with like, ah you know, like cigarettes I had in my pocket and I got caught in the rain or whatever. And you're like, Oh, whatever. I'll just like put them somewhere and they'll dry out. And then you're like, Oh, why do these tastes like ass?
00:32:51
Speaker
Cigarettes are cool, though. oh My god if they is somebody ever we've talked about this before if we ever invent a cigarette that doesn't give you cancer. Oh, yeah said that one off Coming out of the shopping plaza today. I was like damn, you know, there's nothing cooler than smoking a cigarette there was a dude just ripping it he was a ah GameStop employee just outside the GameStop ripping a cigarette with like ah The the classic I pause my game shirt on Yeah. Nothing better.
Financial Speculations
00:33:24
Speaker
Speaking of GameStop. Yeah. What happened with their stock this week? Bro, that guy in deep fucking value on Reddit who is like the original memer. Yeah. He has $300 million in GameStop. Bro, I would sell that shit so fast. That's generational wealth. That means he cuz he cashed out with I think 60 mil the first squeeze and then he put it back into it.
00:33:49
Speaker
then made up and then it's all an options too. So it's like June 20th he's betting that the stock will stay above $20 per share or else he's fucked and he could lose double that off. It goes down like if the calls sink. So yeah, he's playing a smart game. He's like basically pumping the stock and and he's still like obviously the biggest supporter of it. And he's like manipulating it in a good way. But fuck that dude. I was like, ah maybe I should buy some of this. And I was like, you know, what I don't need this fucking headache of this shit. Three hundred billion dollars. I fucking sell that shit so fast. Crazy dude. you Watch that movie talking about it.
00:34:35
Speaker
You watch his movie on Netflix or about him? Dumb money. I haven't watched it yet. I watched it on a plane. It was actually pretty good. ah He lives somewhere in Massachusetts. All right. Oh, really? Yeah.
00:34:54
Speaker
I'll tell you right now, it's some random fucking town. Yeah. of course it's like oh you live this guy's from massachusetts he's in boston then he's uh you know he's at the harpoon brewery getting this is a scene that he's at the harpoon bra he just stops by after work yep let's see where the fuck is he from Brockton. Yeah, that's where he's from. Brockton? Good for him. really that's Coming out of Brockton and making $300 million, dollars he might be the only one who's ever done that. He could buy the town. Him and Mark Wahlberg. True. and Mark Wahlberg's from Lynn, right? I think he's from, straight from Dorchester, right? Yeah, I thought it was Dorchester. Yeah, same thing. The fuck.
00:35:49
Speaker
Lord has proctin might be marginally shittier than fucking words. I mean, Brockton south of the pike, they're like different countries. We're talking North, so North Shore, South Shore.
00:36:05
Speaker
Everybody knows the North Shore sucks. Yes, it does. Although beach pizza. The fucking North Shore is just a bunch of douche bags. roast beef Roast beef and beach pizza. I can't hate it on, but everything else about the North Shore can get fucked. You know what they have? That's good. They have Gloucester and that's it. What's so good about Gloucester? It's just like a nice little town. What is nice about it? Have you been there since, have you been there since, uh, Oxycontin? That's hilarious. I was there, I don't know, in the last 10 years, probably.
00:36:41
Speaker
Yes, I'm probably not. I've been to the cave quite a few times.
00:36:50
Speaker
Oh, man. um
00:36:56
Speaker
I didn't know that yesterday that I said that we should talk about the Kildoser was the
Historical Incidents
00:37:00
Speaker
anniversary. Was that two days ago? Was I? Oh, that's literally, you said, you said yesterday comparing Kildoser to our boy, Steven, the goat. And, uh, and then it turned out that today's the 20th anniversary of 20 or maybe whatever it was. Maybe it was a, maybe it was yesterday, but. 20 years ago, Granby, Granby, Killdozer incident. Colorado, right? Colorado. Colorado. Yeah. That guy's a hero. That guy's a national treasure. Yeah. i would I don't know why I was just driving. I was like, what should we, you know, I was doing that thing. What do we talk about? What do we talk about? Stephen Paddock, Stephen, oh, Killdozer. Cause I had the idea like, uh,
00:37:54
Speaker
I think it was last month in the and NBA playoffs. I was like, Nikola Jokic is the kill dozer of the NBA. Like, no one could stop. But what the fuck that guy does in the NBA? And I was like, that's a good subject. Then you you sent me that this morning. and I was like, oh, shit. That fucking makes a lot of sense. Just popped up there. Just had a gut feeling. It's the collective unconscious. Steven Patek was the guy in the kill dozer. All these guys are pussies, bro. They all kill themselves. Yeah, they got to fucking just like say they got to go on. You got to speak your story. I mean, here's the thing, though. If it's between that or a cop killing you. Just want to let a cop get that dub.
00:38:42
Speaker
Now, these dudes are pussies, bro. This dude was inside of a fucking tank and he shot himself. He could have taken out half the town if you wanted to. Yeah, I mean he did. He could have taken out the entire town. That's right. um
00:39:00
Speaker
Yeah. You know who didn't kill themselves.
00:39:08
Speaker
Tammy and Joe cars are naive. Let me yeah, the one dude got ran over by his own brother. Other dude got thrown to a table by a cop in his apartment after not doing anything. He lived in Miami and they're like, get the fuck on the ground. Oh, my God.
00:39:27
Speaker
Here we go. He was in Boynton Beach and got fucking two in the chest when he opened up the door.
00:39:37
Speaker
The dude that did get killed, that was just like their friend. It looked exactly like a um Amish mafia guy, but he was ah one of the white Muslim dudes. the Look him up.
00:39:52
Speaker
He was like a UFC fighter. What does that mean? I don't know, just look up. Third dude in the marathon bombing that just got shot in his apartment.
00:40:09
Speaker
friend. You know what it's going to be. It's going to be some crazy name.
00:40:18
Speaker
So yeah I remember that. i I remember this part of the story now, but um all of them are like IKEA furniture names. You have no idea what the fuck it even means. Here we go. Yib Yibra Jim Todoshev.
00:40:38
Speaker
Oh, yeah, dude. Was he their college roommate? That guy's have got like a helmet haircut. Yeah, he's got the homage mafia haircut.
00:40:49
Speaker
Get the fuck on the ground. Ibrahim Todoshev was checking on former mixed martial artist, former amateur boxer and friend of Boston Marathon bomber Tamarind Zarnayev. He was shot dead at his apartment in Orlando, Florida by FBI agent Aaron McFarlane. after being interviewed there for eight hours. Damn. Jesus Christ. He attacked the agent with a pipe while writing a statement about the marathon bombing. No way. And a triple homicide that took place in Waltham. Oh, yeah. 11th, 2011.
00:41:29
Speaker
Yeah, I know about that. I read it but forgot about all of this side of it. Damn. Tamerlan and his boys walked into an apartment of some dude they think they boxed with. You can fact check me on that. I'm going off the dome. And this guy, I think, dealt weed and they fucking went in there and basically were like, oh, fuck, kill this dude and any other guys up here. Triple homicide. Boom. And then they took like four pounds of weed and dumped it on their bodies and left. Fucking in allegedly what they're fucking this was just coincidentally on the 10-year anniversary of 9-11 They did that on 9-11 to September 11th 2011 triple homicide was committed in where Waltham Mass
00:42:16
Speaker
on or near the evening of September 11th, 2011, Brendan mess, Eric Weissman and Raphael Tekken were murdered and messes apartment all had their throat slit. Yep. Such great force that they were nearly decapitated thousands of dollars worth of marijuana and money were left covering their mutilated bodies. Yeah. Uh, the local district attorney said it appeared that the killers were victim Uh, the killers and the victims knew each other and that the murders were not random. Tamarlin is our, and I have the deceased suspect as the Boston marathon bombings had previously described the murder victim as his best friend, though, before mess was murdered, there had been animosity between Cernaev and mess over messes, quote unquote lifestyle. Uh, after the bombings and subsequent revelations of Cernaev's personal life, the Waltham murders case was reexamined.
00:43:12
Speaker
authority says our knife and his younger brother Jocar may have been responsible for the homicide. ah but but but but but bear In May 2013, Abraham Todoshev Chechen native who knew Tamarlin was shot and killed in Orlando by law enforcement. Oh, so the boycott guy didn't have anything to do with it. um There's a lot to this article. I'm gonna have to read this. So at some point there, Mike, after what, the ninth hour, when he was signing the statement, they're like, you know, anything about Waltham, Massachusetts? And he just piped them. Do you think they just him? Uh, either way, dude. What? Yeah. Both the officers and spent hours firing together.
00:44:04
Speaker
Sorry, I've had to introduce a mess to John Allen, owner of Y crew mixed martial arts, which was like literally across the street from my house. yeah Say that again. Y crew. That's what I thought. So I thought you said, how was it pronounced? I don't know. I was just curious. Hey, you guys got any classes going on over here?
00:44:30
Speaker
Yeah. All I'm going to say is that those two guys are pussies, you know, who weren't pussies, the fucking North Hollywood shootout guys, those dudes went down in a blaze of glory. They robbed the bank and then just came out and started fucking people up. The one dude only died because he got shot like 55 times.
00:44:52
Speaker
Yeah, that would do it to you. that changed policing forever, dude. They were so which thing we talking about the North Hollywood shootout happened, I think in the eighties. Okay. I thought you were talking about those other people in Hollywood that were like shot a bunch of people at TMZ or some shit. No, this
Crime Recaps
00:45:12
Speaker
happened. And 1997, two guys robbed the bank of America. They came out. The cops obviously showed up. They had a bunch. They had like modified AKs and H and K assault rifles and body armor. And they just started fucking shooting it out with the cops that going down the street, just fucking blasting people. And the one dude ended up surrendering and dying. And then the other one got shot probably 50, 60 times and died from that.
00:45:41
Speaker
Those dudes, those dudes, not pussies. OK. Tamblyn and his brother were not pussies. They were fucking firing in the streets all for four days over there. they They were trying to get away from the police and throwing pipe bombs out their car. It's firing handguns out there. and It's crazy. They're just like, you know what? Pull this car over and they just got out and we're dumping clips in the street. that Oh my God. And one of them got away, dude. i matt That was the craziest video where I remember it was showed like Tamlin out of the car, just walking towards the cops, just firing rounds off, dude. The cops were like, Jesus Christ, we don't know how to deal with this. yeah that just ah Genuinely does not happen in Boston.
00:46:34
Speaker
That guy's walking down the fucking road like RoboCop firing off clips and throwing pipe bombs. Coming out of a vo Honda Accord, dude. Those guys are pussies. Dude. If anything, if you believed like the the conspiracy, they were definitely pussies because they were patsies for the CIA. I had some fucking gay shit. We're talking about that. Stevie never heard of that before. His mother said that his mother said that they were set up by the government and that they were patsies and they were being used to like a false flag at the heck. Sounds like bullshit. Well, yeah, obviously. fucking
00:47:19
Speaker
That was a rough drink. we need It's real smooth. good We need an interview with the younger Zarnar brother in ADX Florence out of his cell just hanging out. Such a waste of money to keep that **** guy alive. I'm telling you. Take him up to the top of a tall building. Just kick him off of it. Just release him, dude. Just put him back into civilization. See what happens. He's probably he's like probably like what 30 years old, 2028 years old now.
00:47:59
Speaker
Damn, would that be the craziest thing if they were just like people who commit really bad shit like this? The sentencing is they just have to get dropped off in the middle of the city where they can. Yeah, you get dropped off on Boylston Street in fucking Boston. You're at a zoomies in Boylston trying to fight your way out. ah for People have been killed in Boston for wearing the wrong jersey. Yeah, dropped in a TD garden after a Celtics loss. is like ah the, what's the big building and in Boston, not the Hancock building, the other one, the Prudential, the Prudential Center just gets a big countdown on it. And at the end of the countdowns, your knives going to be dropped off somewhere in the city. Yeah, yeah exactly. I kind of like that. I mean, he is very good at hiding. So I don't know if it would be that easy. He wasn't that good. and
00:48:55
Speaker
There's got to be like a kind of a hunger games kind of like counter to that where it's like he gets dropped in the middle of the city. If he gets, if he crosses I-95, then he's free. Yeah. yeah He's good back. He's back. Back good to go. Yeah.
00:49:17
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know. That'd be interesting. You know, Steven Paddock maybe was the guy that was the CIA guy. Yeah, he definitely was. That was, as I said, that was a failed CIA attempted assassinating the crime prints of Saudi Arabia and they failed at killing him. And then they had to cover up whether they were trying to do it by shooting a bunch of people. Well, was that Prince at the Luke Combs concert or something down there? He was there. He was at, uh, they thought he was at the trop.
00:49:49
Speaker
Um, but he was so apparently staying somewhere else, but they just failed to get him. And then they were like, well, shit we how would you explain why people were shooting at him for black helicopters were shooting at him? Like how do we know it's him. They're like, you you will know you'll be able to be, you'll be able to put put them out in a crowd.
00:50:13
Speaker
I mean, the thing that Was he dressed? Was he in like a business suit or was he in like? I don't think they're allowed to wear anything but those white dresses. Yeah. But after Patek died, after Patek was like confirmed dead, there was like, there continued to be shootings all around Vegas, like all along the strip for like two and a half hours, including at McCarran airport, like in front of Caesars. Just like a bunch of shootings. So you're like, what was going on then? Like the guy was dead. So who was doing, who was shooting people at McCarran airport? Who was shooting people who who had people held hostage inside of Excelsior Excalibur? You're like, no one has explained any of that shit. They just dropped it immediately. You're going to use that as like your opportunity to settle your score with somebody.
00:51:06
Speaker
It was like 7,000 rounds getting fired somewhere else in the city and all the police are there and you're like, you know what? Fucking haters really been pissing me off lately. Sure. But there was like no arrests or anything. Like people were held hostage inside. Like there's like four eyewitnesses who were like, I was held hostage inside of Excalibur. We were not allowed to leave. We were held at gunpoint. No one ever explained like who was, who was holding them at gunpoint. And then like the owners of Excal, like MGM will not talk. They're like, we have no record of that incident. Like it's all just been wiped and the, and the judge who did the investigation is the daughter of the head of security for MGM grand.
00:51:53
Speaker
So it's like a family thing.
00:52:00
Speaker
That guy had a fucking shot. You need that guy in your backyard for the coyotes, Paul. You need Stevie P back there firing off rounds into the woods. He'll get him. He'll get him right through the head. Fucking coyote around.
00:52:20
Speaker
You guys think you could you'd be a good spy? No. Depends on what the assignment is. no I do. I think I'd be a decent private investigator. Sure. I would agree with that. You know what I mean? That'd be a pretty fun fucking gig. Yep. PI. There's no license. I just started Google page on my private investigation.
00:52:48
Speaker
Professional stalker. I mean, you could do it. My friend had a gypsy cab company in Boston. He just would hand out cards. ah based on He was a driver. That's fucking, that's great. He was Uber and before Uber. Yep. Yeah. He tried to convince me to join up with him. and I was like, I'm not doing that. He's like, yeah. He's like, bro, you just have to drive people to the airport. but That's different. That's a shuttle service. That sounds terrible. yeah So what gate? What gate were you going to? Get into fucking Logan. You're like, God damn it. I took the wrong turn. We're back out on 90. Oh, God, dude. That would probably be the most stressful drive is the airport drive every single fucking time. You're like, great. And never want to do it again. Yeah, not actually the last one. Never want to do it again.
00:53:46
Speaker
I'll let you guys know what this.
00:53:51
Speaker
so Well, I report to small airport time travel is going to be like huh going through Panama City Airport. See how that is. Probably a fucking tiny. I almost flew out of there and then I had to drive nine hours. to tampen i I had planned this perfect road trip that the only downside was that you had to fly into Pensacola and out of Panama City and those have layovers. Yeah. ah Because there's fucking no one's going there. Yeah, but ah but.
00:54:24
Speaker
In exchange for dealing with a layover, you didn't have to drive nine hours to Tampa. Yes. Got overruled. I'm getting used to the layover game now because it breaks my flight up. I get to have a shorter flight. Yeah, as long as you're not like the only the only times that that shit sucks is when it's like. A year in Atlanta and your and your flight was delayed a little bit, so it's like I've got to get from you E to, you know, to B. in 20 minutes and you're like, fuck, I have to kind of run. Yeah. Otherwise, I don't mind. I don't mind. Or I guess the other alternative that sucks. And then the opposite of where you're like, my layover is four and a half hours. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah. I have a short one in Charlotte. We'll see how that goes. But um I'm always like, well, there's a million other flights that are always boarding in like half hour. Yeah. So I'll just go to that one.
00:55:23
Speaker
Let's get on a plane, see where it takes you. End up in Havana, Cuba. They're pretty cool about it every time. It's like, can I go on this early flight? and I'm here. And they're like, yeah, it's fine. Yeah. Going to the same place. They're like, yeah, it's fine. Who cares? Yep. Yeah, what do they care?
00:55:44
Speaker
No. What do you guys think? You think Trump's going to jail? No. oh I've texted my buddy who loves Trump every, every day since that. And I just keep saying different prison sentences again. So Matt, I just keep getting like 24 years, 85% served and then six years on probation. He's like threatened to block me on Sunday. I did it again today. Did it again today. So fucking funny. He has to get some sentence, right? You can't get 34 felonies. Yeah, but if if the worst thing they'll do... Yeah, the worst thing they'll do is house arrest. No way.
00:56:26
Speaker
they're They're locking them up. I don't think they're gonna. And by the way, none of us are political. I'm just saying, I don't care if he gets locked up or not, but he's got 34 cases on him. i don't I don't care either. I just don't see... I mean, I don't know that anyone should go to jail. Like what is jail accomplishing for like like paperwork fraud? Like you didn't kill anyone. You didn't beat anyone up. You didn't steal anything. You like. You like falsified records. I don't know that that's jail, but certainly they for you or me.
00:57:03
Speaker
yeah Yeah, I get that. I, mean I would, ah I would disagree with it for you too. But in any event, I think I just, I don't think he goes to jail. That would just be too controversial. I hope he does. And then I hope they accidentally leave his shoelaces on and they find him hanging. No, he, how could he, he couldn't get himself up on a chair like that. He couldn't do it. And I get abstained. Um, but I could see house arrest being, or, you know, house arrest where he's, he has to, you know, either be at the white house or Mar-a-Lago or Bedminster or like, or Trump tower, whereas he's house arrested to like, quote unquote. So it sounds like a punishment, but really he's just, he just can't like, I don't know. He gets house or arrest, becomes the president again. And then he's like, all right.
00:57:57
Speaker
Anybody who wants to have a meeting with me needs to come to the White House. So Netanyahu, you're coming to the White House, Putin, yeah the White House. I mean, you'd have to figure something out. The judge would have to be like, you serve your sentence after the completion of your presidential term. Like you there's just I don't it's just too logistically fucked.
00:58:19
Speaker
um As much as I'd love as much as it would be really interesting for him to go to jail.
Legal Troubles for Trump
00:58:28
Speaker
Would it be even better if he got voted in while he was in jail and he got to give all his prefer press conferences from his cell? I mean, it'd be a, it'd be even better if he, you know, had a heart attack or something, but that's not going to happen. Guys ripping fucking Chick-fil-A milkshakes. Hell yeah. Got to figure he does so much fucking math that how could he be
00:58:57
Speaker
Fucking I don't know. I feel like he's he's that kind of guy who's going to like seem pretty healthy until the very last moment and he doesn't go out. He doesn't go out like, you know, slowly dying in a hospital bed. His like heart explodes. That's what I was going to say. Probably well probably will have a heart attack sooner or later. Yeah. Like where he could live till he's 200 years old. Yeah, joe biden goes out slowly in a hospital bed like he'll get like he'll you know after he's president hopefully And all that he'll be like uh, he'll be like jimmy carter jack He'll be like jimmy carter is now where he's just like That old but trump's gonna like explode somehow joe biden's gonna get hit by a fucking
00:59:53
Speaker
Boss, there's something by accident, dude. He's going to walk right into the street one night. Yeah. Just sleep walks out of the way. Yeah. Yeah. Secret service doesn't catch it.
01:00:09
Speaker
Um, yeah, dude. I mean, either way, that's fucking crazy. How do you deal with that?
01:00:16
Speaker
Oh, that's crazy. and Jimmy Carter's 99 years old. Yeah, he's going to live forever. That motherfucker. Is he not dead? Good dude, right? No, he's still alive. That's crazy. His son, uh, I think it was his son, like put out a press release a week ago. I think that was like, he's going to die. Like, yeah, he's about to die. And this, but he's his son, Jay Z. Yeah.
01:00:44
Speaker
Man I have to be rich fucking First time today I got bit by a fucking wasp or stung by a wasp And it was on my fucking earlobe, dude.
Painful Insect Encounters
01:00:58
Speaker
That's gross fucking hurts so badly ah Welcome to the club. It's like it ain't I was like Saying I was like if this happened on my arm or some shit it wouldn't hurt as bad But my fucking earlobe also fucking my whole ear went numb the That shit felt fucking so stupid, dude. What were you doing? Were you attacking a wasps nest? No, I was just walking by. Maybe I was earlier. Maybe I picked something up because I was picking up a bag. Maybe it was on it or something. Was it a yellow jacket? Like a regular walt wasp? Flew by my head and I thought it was a regular fly. So um I swatted it and then it came back and fucking nipped me. swatted it But then I think it just died after because it was just on the ground.
01:01:43
Speaker
Yeah, they die after this thing. So maybe it's a yellow jacket. I don't know. What do you think? Give their life to to to piss you off. Staying you like rips their abdomen out. After this, I'm going to fuck after this pot. I'm going to spray the shit out of that fucking nest.
01:02:02
Speaker
Fuck those guys. That's just not cool, dude. Yeah, dude, what the fuck? Should do it during the day so you can see them.
01:02:14
Speaker
I'll just put the light on. It's like literally right on my deck. I can fucking just open the door and just mace them and then go back in. But they're sleeping right now. So just go up and fucking grab it like that. Oh, I've seen the video of that old guy doing that. Yeah, that's insane. You know, eat it. You actually look confident. It's real confident. Fuck that. Does it be hurt more than a wasps? I guess is the question. I don't know the answer to that. I've never been stung by anything. I think that all B stings just hurt, bro. They're just, they're not. Yeah, but there's the ones that are supposed to hurt more. There's like a particular kind of wasp that's supposed to be like the second most painful sting in the world. What about the ant that bites you? The bullet ant. It's probably that one was probably the most powerful wasp that stung me. Bullet ant that's called that because it that they say it is like being shot.
01:03:15
Speaker
It's like, God damn it. Call 911.
01:03:21
Speaker
Hell yeah, I need this assassin bug that just covers itself in dead fucking ants to. Oh, dude, there's like a. Yeah, fucking ants are crazy. Yeah, they just go to work. There's a. ah Oh, man, I'm not going to do it any justice. There's these two species of ants in Florida that are like constantly at war. Or maybe it's three. But they're one of them is one of them raids. OK, so it is three. I remember it. I just don't remember the names of the ant species. So one of them. They're called slave raider ants, and they invade the nests of this ant that they go to war with um and steal their babies and then raise their babies as slaves. So that's fucking crazy that I had to do that.
01:04:15
Speaker
ah And then the the ant species that is the one that's like the victim of the raids, they figured out that there's this third ant species that the slave raider ants are afraid of. So they collect the corpses of that third ant species and decorate the area around their nests with skulls of that ant to scare the slave raider ants away. Fucking ants. That's what I'm talking about. Maybe drop a tactical nuke on them, dude. Yeah. How are ants figuring out that complex where they're like, Oh, shit. If we just, if we just put skulls around our house, people aren't going to fuck with us.
01:05:07
Speaker
That's what I'm going to start doing. Yeah. What do was how what do the assassin dogs do though? They just what were you saying they pick up dead ants and put them on their backs so that they can hide. Yeah. but dad Catch that fucking coyote and cut its head off and put it on a snake. Yeah. Throw a bunch of weed and money on top of it. know
01:05:31
Speaker
All right, let's ah do our do a Patreon episode here. Everybody, subscribe to the subscribe to the regular and subscribe to the Patreon. I'll put that link in the description of this episode. It's in some other old episodes too.
01:05:53
Speaker
But that's it for the regular week. We'll see you on the next week. Bye bye.