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Smelling like Thailand
115 Plays6 months ago
Let me smell you.
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Transcript
Introduction & National Prayer Day
00:00:02
Speaker
Happy National Prayer Day. Stay prayed up. God bless you.
Chipotle Boys & Food Trends
00:00:09
Speaker
There's another kind of guy they say taking over New York City and they're calling them Chipotle boys. It's a man who eats at Chipotle five to seven days per week. So cute. Are you Jeremy fragrance? Yes, I am. I'm ready for our picture.
00:00:30
Speaker
in the motherfucking suburbs with it. Bop, bop, bop. Ayo Terry, what's going on? Hey, does everybody have that one friend that knows that the poach is fake but still pops it? Or is it just me?
Nonstick Pans & Cooking Mishaps
00:00:49
Speaker
Bro, these blue diamond pans, bro? Nonstick pans? Look at it, look at it. I didn't put nothing on it, bro. I didn't put nothing on it. Oh ho ho! I shot that shit dog!
00:01:08
Speaker
Hey everybody, these are my two ravens. they They're not actually mine, they are just... I'm just taming them.
00:01:32
Speaker
I think that's the the male in the back and the female in the front.
Dudes R Us & Ice Cream Adventures
00:01:50
Speaker
Welcome to Dudes R Us.
00:02:00
Speaker
Diagonally. Diagonally. Should I just start showing showing you guys stuff in the camera while I'm just sitting in here? Yeah, do it. Sick. Did you do magic spells while you were there? I don't think so.
00:02:22
Speaker
When I go back, though, maybe I'll bring it.
00:02:30
Speaker
Three, two, one. Oh, shit, we're recording. Three, two, one. There you go. Clear your throat right into the microphone. What you eating, Pops? Cookie crisp? Chocolate ice cream. Hell yeah. I almost got that. um I almost got that. I don't know what brand you got, but I saw Ben and Jerry's had Oreo ice cream. Yeah. I didn't get that. Ben and Jerry's had it? but Well, I didn't know what brand you got when you said you had it, but then I was at the store and they had it.
00:03:14
Speaker
Literally like Oreo, Oreo mint, mint ice cream. I almost got that. And then as I was like going to grab it, I saw they had a peanut butter chocolate banana ice cream. Jesus Christ. It was like ah chocolate and banana ice cream mixed with mini Reese's cups. Jesus Christ. And so I ended up getting that new stove. That's next level, bro. Pretty good. Pretty good. Shit, dude. Yeah. I wish I could eat 10 fucking ice cream right now, but I'm fucking trying to live this healthy life. So fucking like ah a min max your day. I didn't eat anything until today. Like if you're like, Hey, I want to have something unhealthy. Hell yeah. Um,
00:04:04
Speaker
Aiden's showing a tech deck right now. That's what I reacted to. I trying to fucking film a video for you guys earlier.
00:04:15
Speaker
video If you want to like cheat on something, not cheat, but if you want to be like, I just really want to fucking pull ice cream, then you just like don't eat lunch. you like Don't eat breakfast. Nah, dude. Three squares a day and that's it. Yeah, stack through those pokey cards, Bob. Pull a random one out. Just don't lick and pull random one out. Ooh, hell yeah. Charmander. I hope it's the... First sed edition Charmander.
Nostalgia & Pokémon Cards
00:04:41
Speaker
I hope it's the fat one. That's an arrow. That was a Gen 2 Pokémon. That was a promo card that you could only get when the movie came out. So oh do you guys Snorlaxes the tallest Pokémon?
00:04:58
Speaker
Well, you guys got some cool stuff, but do you have a Q-tips container filled with acorns? How many? You can't hold. because
00:05:14
Speaker
That's mad Meryl promo cards. Dude, what how do you have all those? My older brother, when the movie came, I stole them all at the mall. yeah You just have them loose in your desk? Hell yeah. I don't even know where these ones came from.
00:05:40
Speaker
Articuno, Horsey, 15 barrels that my brother stole for me.
00:05:48
Speaker
to the Reverse bucket at $6.99 on eBay, dude. Damn. I got about 20 of them, so. That's at least 40 bucks. That's right. 40 bucks. Whoa, your bucket hat changed. I told you, reversal, reversal, reversible bucket. I was looking up the value of the promo Meryl card from 1999. Oh, you know what I had today?
Chipotle Portions & Boston Memories
00:06:20
Speaker
Last year's PGA championship hat. At Chipotle today and I didn't even have to film the guy to get a good Chipotle. Dude, I get somehow I get a good Chipotle every time. Do you think that was real or was that just TikTok bullshit that they were like, I'm not getting below scoops. I know it's real filming, but do you think Chipotle really like briefly made them give you like bullshit little scoops?
00:06:46
Speaker
Briefly, maybe I don't know. Maybe there's just a bunch of fucking a bunch of scumbags working If I was working at a place and somebody came up to me and started filming me I think I would just have to throw hands right on the spot Reach over the sneeze guard and grab their phone When I was in Boston with you guys last week, I had Chipotle every single day. I was there I nice So much of those people who film would have no idea what to do if you just reached over the sneeze guard and grabbed their phone Just stuck it in the black beans. Oh, man. I started adding those to my to my order by up blank bes I was make red beans and rice today, but I didn't and i I'm ah new I'm new on the game. I didn't know how to like pre soak those fucking things.
00:07:36
Speaker
Oh yeah, if you got, uh, yeah, so at least four hours, but soaking overnight is even better. I was fucking through them away.
00:07:49
Speaker
the Fuck this shit. they Don't go bad. Fuck that. though um let get out of I don't got fucking time. Yeah. I was like, damn, I should've just got them in the can. I had no idea. You just threw the whole thing of beans away? Yeah, fuck that dude. that is I'm not I fucking don't have time for that. Bean disrespect. Finished for watching Bronx Tale after. That was pretty chill.
Movie Discussions & Critiques
00:08:16
Speaker
Bronx Tale's great. Bronx Tale's a great movie. First time I saw it. Really? Yeah.
00:08:24
Speaker
ending's a little sopranos-y, I mean, my wife looked at each other, we're like, that's the end? I thought we were gonna see him like, what is it grow up, but, bronxdale I was happy that the kid didn't get killed. I got you in that one. Then I told you guys I watched the Nutty Professor Saturday, maybe great maybe Sunday, real good movie. um hard to hard to understand like the the time frame what was that 1999 or something but that like maybe even earlier than that 96 kicked off a weird genre i mean there was obviously a bunch of spin-off like clumps movies yeah but also that kind of format ended up getting used a bunch what are um movies
00:09:19
Speaker
I haven't seen that. Eddie Murphy did another movie that's Big Mama's house. Big Mama's house. That was Martin Lawrence. Martin Lawrence did that, right? Isn't Flubber just like an extension of the Nutty Professor or am I getting that screwed up? What was robin your favorite guy, Robin Williams? oh yeah Completely different things. they came out They came out at the same time and that's why. Well, it was ninety seven. So, yeah, not a professor was ninety six. Flour was ninety seven. Just having some ah Mandela effect there. You could easily be like Flauber had.
00:10:04
Speaker
Eddie Murphy is as clump as whatever guy in it, fat guy. And we'll watch this clear and everybody knows I still hate Robin Williams. I'm glad he killed himself. Did you guys, you guys never saw a burn after reading? That's a pretty good movie. It's a little confusing, but real good movie. Has John Malkovich, George Clooney, ah Brad Pitt. Oh, seems like it'd be good. A few other people that I'm missing. Tilda Swinton.
00:10:46
Speaker
It's got the guy from Stuff Brothers, the dad. Who's that? J.K. Simmons. Richard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Keep Simmons. That's also a good cast. It's probably a good movie.
00:11:06
Speaker
OK, not the same year as in bruises. I need to get some, I need to watch some other movies. I need to finish out. You're watching Bruises? No, I don't know what the fuck that is. You should watch that. What is that? Colin Farrell. Yeah, Colin Farrell's good. Brendan Gleason. Okay.
00:11:32
Speaker
After a job gone wrong, Hitman Ray and his partner await orders from their ruthless boss in Bruges, Belgium, the last place in the world Ray wants to be. I watched that movie sometime in my 20s, but I had gotten so high that I did not follow a single plot point of it with no memory. of what happened in that movie. I remember laughing at parts where my roommates looked at me and they were like, what is wrong with you? um So I can't really give you a recap of it, but I'm told it's a good film. I've got a 10 on IMDB. How the fuck do you even spell that? Yes. It's a city in Belgium where like half of our podcast listeners live. Oh, OK.
00:12:29
Speaker
This one's for you.
00:12:33
Speaker
I think the worst movie I've ever seen as a life aquatic. I never saw that. There was a movie I always do time. There was a movie probably in the early 2000s, but maybe before that called Godsend. OK, not the one from like that. What was it called? Godsend. That was called.
00:13:00
Speaker
what is the life aquatic about because i remember everybody's facebook picture is this at some point steve zisu yeah it's like a fake uh it's a west anderson movie but it's like a fake boat captain it was just to it was really bad so i'm one of the only movies i've ever almost walked out of the movie theater on
00:13:27
Speaker
A fake futuristic movie or something. What? Life aquatic. Is it not? No, it is. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Is is not, I don't want to say hit or miss, but it's like, if you are not game for some weird bullshit, Um, that could be tough to get through. like there's so it was stuff I really like and there's other movies where I'm like, all right, get to the fucking point. I'm looking through the.
00:14:05
Speaker
Bibliography of Wes Anderson, I don't think I've ever watched or liked any of these movies. Moonrise Kingdom was a good movie and it wasn't too. It wasn't too bullshit. Um. The French was and looks like and I like it even less. Yeah. He looks like that. um Rushmore was really good. You should watch Rushmore if you haven't seen it. He didn't. He looks like the YouTube video of the person at.
00:14:41
Speaker
ah Game Stop going, it's ma'am. It's me and me. He is a weird dude. That's what he looks like. Um, I haven't seen all of these. I thought Rushmore was obviously really good. Uh, like I said, moonrise kingdom was good. People liked I heart Huckabee's when it came out, I think, but I thought it I didn't ever see it.
00:15:11
Speaker
I don't know. What's interesting gets like a B minus C plus maybe everybody fucking loves that guy because he makes wacky movies. It's like he's like a reverse Tarantino where you're just like you're going to watch those movies when they come out because you're like, this is different from how most movies are. So it's like a relief.
Celebrity Controversies & Activism
00:15:30
Speaker
Did you see those people yelling at Quentin Tarantino? I don't know what he'd do, drop an end bomb or something. No, he's just like eating in some dark restaurant and they're like, Hey, Quintertino, you're a piece of shit. You went to Israel. It's crazy how that keeps happening. What did I see yesterday? A bunch of people in like the new metal scene were upset because the lead singer of disturbed went and like signed
00:16:00
Speaker
Missile are assigned to like bombs with the IDF.
00:16:08
Speaker
I don't know. You're you're you're like a fan of a band. It's. I can't even remember what any of their songs are. But even.
00:16:25
Speaker
I don't know any of that shit, but it seems crazy. There's people that walked out of their entire college graduation. Yeah.
00:16:37
Speaker
That's tough. What the heck? Just relax, guys. I mean, I guess I respect respect for the people standing up for what they believe in or whatever. Do you think they'll regret that, though, in fucking six years? I don't think you'll regret like walking out of your graduation. I was at my graduation. It sucked. Um, this is going to be the free Coney of right. twenty None of those people ended were having to explain themselves for that either. Um, whatever the fuck that was. Anti Coney, free Coney. What was it? I actually have no memory of what that was about, but I remember those like bumper stickers and stuff. Um, Coney, 20 2012.
00:17:25
Speaker
2012. That's right. ah Yeah. All I remember, that was something with Africa, probably. Oh, yeah. Warlord. So I guess it wasn't Free Coney. There was definitely stickers that said Free Coney, though, or something. Maybe it was. Maybe I'm mixing that up with like other stuff. But I remember the Coney 2012 stuff. Slacktivism.
00:17:51
Speaker
But yeah, I would say if you have the opportunity to walk out of your college graduation on whatever loose principle you have, you absolutely should because I was the first name called on my graduation and then that's cool. And then I had to sit there for.
00:18:11
Speaker
Another like a thousand people to get their names called before I could leave and that sucked You're walking out bro. No one like of that stuff though. It's like I'm like none of these people Fucking know you even care about you and you're walking out of you're in protest of this shit yeah, but like ah They still get to graduate they still get their degree and I don't know That's like, well, that's like the prime age should take a stand against something that no one cares about.
College Advice & RFK Jr. Critique
00:18:45
Speaker
Not saying no one cares about people that you're protesting for. Don't give a fuck.
00:18:51
Speaker
yeah yeah i not
00:18:57
Speaker
not um i'm Whatever. Don't, don't bomb kids. Yeah. Don't bomb kids. Obviously no one should bomb kids. but you know enjoy being a fucking enjoy your last time in college that is true uh don't worry about shit like that if you don't have to right now you'll never have more freedom and less responsibility than like those four years so so Yeah. I can go go ah throw shit at Indian guys or something. You don't have to put the world on your back. If you're like 22 right now, you don't have to put the world on your back. It sucked before you were born and it's going to continue sucking.
00:19:43
Speaker
oh It's just fucking make fun of RFK Junior's fucking stupid voice. oh Man yeah i yeah I Don't know just your Fucking uncle got shot in the head dumbass electrocuted I Did that guy neither? Somebody one of my buddies was like he has a medical condition I was like he can still pay to get it fixed
00:20:21
Speaker
Or just like, I think we talked about this once, maybe not on the pod, but like, I feel like it's okay to say like, Hey, if you are, you know, everyone should be able to do what they want. But like, if, if you talk, like, these are my, I'm training them. It's like, listen man you can do a lot of stuff. He has achieved a lot in life. I would even say he's achieved. a decent amount of it, not just on the fact that his last name's Kennedy. I think probably half of it is just the fact that you're Kennedy, but I think like you you did become a doctor and presumably like you did that legit. um So like good for you. You don't get to be president.
00:21:09
Speaker
Like you, you can't do that. Like all those, you know, like God forbid there's like a terror, actually whatever terrorist attack or something. And he's got to like stand up, you know, or like he's the, you know, he alternate universe where he's the one who kills ah Osama bin Laden. He's got to stand up in that meeting and be like, yeah
00:21:35
Speaker
c team sex as sex that fully like you can't Come on man, like that's just not an option for you Dude, I know it's embarrassing almost like clear your fucking throat dude, and then If you've got a thing like that you've got a weird thing so you're You're up against a lot. You're fighting an uphill battle in life in general, or like, I know this, he wasn't born with that. I i know it happened to you. I'd like some, yeah, some swimming ass or something. a got Water in his head. Water in his ear this whole time.
00:22:15
Speaker
but ah if that's the case where you're like Okay. I know I've got this thing that makes it impossible for anyone to listen to a podcast that I'm on. Oh yeah. uh Could not listen to more than 15 minutes of the man shane episode he was on. Yeah with the joe rogan episode he's on anyway, uh Don't tell people that you had a ah worm in your brain that yeah Like if that's true great, no one was gonna find that out. That's that's the shit you pay
00:22:48
Speaker
Donald Trump hush money to bury that story. Bury anyone who's going to tell that you had a brain worm that ate part of your brain. That's a bad narrative you're thinking that's your campaign. Dude, there's if if you told me AirPods would make me sound like that in 10 years, then I would stop immediately. Easy. You don't need to do that with cigarettes. Easiest decision. You'll sound like this guy in 10 years if you keep smoking cigarettes. You're like, oh fuck, I'll put him down right now.
00:23:21
Speaker
Well, that would, yeah, that would work on, that would work with anything. I'm trying to think of something I like that much anymore. Anything, dude. That would stop the whole pizza fucking, no one would eat pizza again in their life if that's, if you said, you know, what in 15 years, you if you keep eating pizza, you're going to sound like this fucking raven human, this human raven. Yeah. Oh, and that's it. Dude, that's the other thing. If you're gonna, okay, so you fucked up and you told the story about how worms ate your brain. Bad probably you can't recover from that politically, but you're still going strong and there's still some people who you know really believe in you Don't be a weird guy who trains Ravens like That's like your secret love like you just really want to train Ravens to bring you little trinkets because if you didn't know this like Ravens once they become a friend will bring you like a little like buttons and and shit to find. That would be cool. like In theory, if that happened to me organically, I wouldn't hate it if Raven just brought me presents every day. Don't tell people. Just let that be your secret hobby. you're allowed like John Kerry got to Windsurf. You can have ah Ravens that bring you presents. Don't put it on Instagram.
00:24:35
Speaker
a ah my i it my i i did Did no one wants to hear you talk about COVID with that voice? No. a ah well day and Yeah, that's impossible. How the fuck does something in your brain cause that to happen? That's terrifying. That does mess me up. I i don't remember anymore. I did read what the condition he specifically had was. But, uh, yeah, it's one of those, like, it could happen to you things. So knock on wood. I don't want you guys to make fun of me if I sounded like that. We probably wouldn't do the pot anymore. I'm just being honest. Yeah, yeah would there's no chance, dude. I'm not saying like Aiden and I would keep doing the pod without you. i We would just just ban the pod. I'm not even lying. I cannot list like an hour of him speaking. I could not listen to. It's the worst. Even if we had listeners, I don't think I could. We'd still be friends. We just couldn't have an hour long conversation.
00:25:45
Speaker
Yeah, text only, dude. Not, not, not talking to you on the phone.
00:25:53
Speaker
It's a fucking guy is a goddamn dude such art character. It would have been. It'd be way better if he just got. um If he would just not even Stephen Hawking style, but just like typed out what he wanted to say. yeah And then some and then he just had some like random like.
00:26:17
Speaker
Asian woman next to him that read it out loud. i would actually That would actually be kind of baller. you'd like This is some weird fucking like Captain Planet villain bullshit and I like it.
00:26:31
Speaker
That guy never gets on a roll either. you never I'm like, maybe he'll clear up on this podcast. Nope. There's nothing. It just takes six hours for this guy to do a podcast. it is it's painful every story he says too i'm like you did that with this fucking voice dude that's crazy you're in divorce court with this voice ah man well maybe one of uh the two presidential candidates or whatever fucking drops out maybe he might be a president
00:27:13
Speaker
i Mean it'd be interesting. Like could it be could it be any worse? Than the choices we already have So where is he who what does he do? Is he like the fucking governor or something right now? I don't think he's anything is he I think he's just a librarian He's a library
00:27:37
Speaker
A librarian. A libertarian. Jesus Christ. Actually, wait, didn't he not get the libertarian nomination?
00:27:50
Speaker
I don't know. I have no idea about any of that. I think they, I think the libertarian party, like whatever they call it, uh, had their convention maybe like a month ago. Okay. And I want to say he didn't get, which is like libertarians, for everything that they're, I don't know. They're like really funny when it comes to that stuff, who they end up nominating. And they're very like, I think he's just running as an independent now. All right. I'll take that. They nominated some Spanish guy who doesn't even speak English, probably by accident. I don't know. There was the word turns would ever do that. It was all right. I have to find out now who
00:28:39
Speaker
Fucking Canadians on this livestream are still wearing President's nomination 2024. Chase, Chase Oliver.
00:28:53
Speaker
Chase Oliver and Mike Turmont. Oh my God, it's 51 degrees in Alberta, Canada. That sucks.
Weather, Travel & Thai Cuisine
00:29:04
Speaker
You going there? No, this fucking live stream that I have up on my screen over here has Alberta. There's people just walking around in full winter jackets still. It's going to be like 70 degrees at the high, the 78 at the high this week. And then it just goes back down to like 70 every day. Alberta's part of my first watching on a live screen live stream of Canada. No, it goes through all the all the countries around the world. It's one of my favorite to live stream. It just shows you live streams in every country around the world. Sometimes it's true. Sometimes you're in Alberta. Sometimes you're like
00:29:42
Speaker
At the travy fountain in Rome. Sometimes you're at yeah on the shop. So we say he just brings you all over. This one's Levi Finland right now ski resort. I've seen this one a few times. the one This is the live stream that taught me that Australia has different season like the backwards seasons that of us. Oh, yeah. Like hemisphere. I mean, i direct um everything um in the southern hemisphere actually. Okay. Whatever, dude.
00:30:13
Speaker
Thailand. Thailand seems really cool until you get there. You're probably like, Oh, okay. Yeah. i It's one of those ones where they've got like a lot of cool like architecture and history and stuff. And so you're like, Hey, that's tight. You've had like Thai food. Oh yeah. And then it's like, Oh shit. All the roads are dirt and everyone's on a bicycle. Yeah. Then you have real Thai food there and you're like, oh my God, it's so spicy. And you're like, what is this? A baby chick? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everything boiled.
00:30:58
Speaker
<unk> It's one of those. Yeah. Any restaurant, one of those 100 little bowls. 100 bowls of mystery food. everything
00:31:14
Speaker
Did definitely they're boiling coca-cola over there dude every fucking day I suspect as fuck. Yeah, what's what's this?
00:31:28
Speaker
like oh i know what that is but's gotten gotten wa but but but and dot and thailand yeah They have a lot of bowls
00:31:47
Speaker
hey
00:31:55
Speaker
I feel like every like all of the towels in Thailand are like hand towels too. You get to your hotel room and you have a million hand towels.
00:32:10
Speaker
Man policy you don't use the top of your yeti. You just go straight no top Yeah, man, it feels like that tastes like medley to me every time I have done that You just beast
Culinary Experiments & Ravioli Making
00:32:26
Speaker
beast through it coat the palate with the chocolate ice cream Yeah, oh yeah Yeah, it's going down with the pork shoulder or oh, yeah I won't start it for like another two hours. Holy shit. How long does it go? Be ready to be wrapped up first thing in the morning. Man, if you fuck this one up, you're toast. Nah, I'm working good at it. There's no going back at it right now. No. You're sure you didn't get a brined pastel on accident? Yeah.
00:33:09
Speaker
You got a bunch of thick cut bacon. Throw it on there. You should do one of those extreme ones where they wrap it in bacon like a hundred times and throw a bunch of cheese on it or something. You should do that. I've got a bunch of ah what is that shit called? Pancetta. I got a bunch of thin sliced pancetta.
00:33:32
Speaker
I used up my pancetta the other day. Shit was so good. Pancetta, meatballs, sauce. Nice. I made some extremely high effort ravioli on Sunday. when Did I use pancetta? Was that what you stuffed it with? Stuffed it with ricotta and crab meat. Oh, yeah. Okay. But then the sauce was just like lemon butter, pancetta, mushrooms
00:34:02
Speaker
mushrooms Swiss chard. Okay. Really good. Really good. But making possible from scratch kind of sucks. Kind of a bitch, huh? One of those things where I'm like, Oh, okay. I'm glad I did that. And that was kind of fun. Uh, no, don't think I'll do that again. Okay. I respect that. I've been using the sauce out of the jar too. So I'm, I'm slacking, but it's just tomato and basil. So sue me if you want to. What's wrong with that? And some of that stuff, it's like, listen, I mean, I'll say the same thing with the ravioli. I was like, is this, this was fun. Like it was a fun thing to like make dinner for a couple hours or whatever on like a chill day. Did it, did what came out of all that effort. Was that way better than something I could have bought? Like probably not.
00:34:53
Speaker
It was, it was more the experience of being like, okay, I've done that. Same thing with like, uh, if you're just going for pasta with like a simple tomato sauce, it's like, yeah, you could like get a can of crushed tomatoes or whatever and like do a whole bunch of bullshit. But like, you know what? Fucking prego kind of figured it out. They kind of figured it out. I don't do the prego. Come on. or only gave him You know what I mean, though? Michael's from Brooklyn. Michael's from Brooklyn. I think we get rouse. What? Because that's what they have at Costco. You can't do there. They're fucking up the universe or something. Rouses? Mm hmm. What do they do? Their sauce, I guess, is just like total bunk. All right. Well, tell it to Costco. That's the one I can get at Costco. oh good You go to go to the grocery store sometimes.
00:35:47
Speaker
I do, but not for something like pasta sauce. I'm just going to go with the, I can get two gallons of it. Yeah. You get 14, 16 ounce jars. Put her in the fridge. It was a fucking straight dog walking on a beautiful beach in Thailand. You gotta be kidding me. That's what I want. Fucking straight dog walking on the fucking beach in Thailand. You know what the capital of Thailand is, right? Probably your favorite place.
00:36:19
Speaker
a Cuz gay You're gonna feel really bad one day when he tells us he really is good I know I'd just say I told you Been saying it for years you Yeah Oh, and decided by choice to get a roommate.
00:36:57
Speaker
Guys, it saves money. Get you around this way. Oh, that's so funny. Just kidding, dude. Yeah, we're totally joking around. It's fine. I'm gay.
00:37:21
Speaker
Oh, and I'll be right back. I'll take a piss and keep going to keep, keep, keep going. Keep Karen read or something. My ring is fucking my finger up stuck under it. You have like a callus there. What is it? Not that the white band around my finger is from my wedding ring. I think that's just from wearing a ring. Yeah. Like I think it just makes, it's like when you have a bandaid on for a long time and the skin under the bandaid turns like super white. Yeah, it's yucky. I think you just have to not wear your wedding ring sometimes. No, I just have big calluses because I'm a man. Sure.
00:38:02
Speaker
It's from all the hoes I hold on to. Yeah. It's from all the blue collar work you do. Mm-hmm.
00:38:10
Speaker
very sweaty today. I had sweat dripping off my eyelashes. Yeah. For anyone who isn't in New England today, it was the start of a heat wave. It was like 97 degrees today.
911 Service Outage & Emergency Preparedness
00:38:24
Speaker
And, and nine, nine 11, no, nine one one was out from like 11 45 until like two 30, which, uh, for most people just means Yeah, I was gonna say for most people just means that you get like 11 amber alert things on your phone. Like they just kept sending it every like 15 minutes. They'd send a new thing. That was where your phone goes crazy.
00:38:51
Speaker
And what I learned from that is two things. Well, I guess three things. One, how does 9-9-1-1 just go out for the entire state? That's kind of crazy if you think about it. Like for any amount of time, how does it just be that like that no longer works? But okay. Like maybe some... Yeah, maybe like National Grid was like digging and they cut a fiber optic cable, like the one fiber optic cable that all 911 calls go through in Massachusetts and they were like, oops, oh fuck, we got to fix that. Okay. um At one point, one of the like 12 messages I got from the Amber Alert system was from Maine.
00:39:35
Speaker
The state of Maine being like, ah just so you know, Maine is fine. Maine's 911 works just fine. like Why did I need to get that 200 miles away from the most southern point of Maine? Unclear. But I think they probably just like I think they just got wires crossed there and fucked up. But like, why can why can Maine's emergency alert system send me a message 200 miles away? Interesting. Seems like nobody really has their shit together over there. But the main main but the the most interesting thing I learned, because at some point in this, they had to send out a message being like, please stop calling 911 just to see if it works. I wanted to do that. Is that a bunch of people who heard 911 wasn't working and didn't have emergencies.
00:40:30
Speaker
We're like, I better call 911 to see if my call gets through. And then what do you say? What if you get through and they're like 911 emergency? Oh, I just wanted to see if 911 worked. like and i'll go ahead It's like when you go out of internet and then you just keep hitting Google dot.com to see when you're back up on it on Wi-Fi.
00:40:57
Speaker
Every jet blue flight because the internet doesn't work and I'm like, Oh yeah, I'll just check right now. um I mean, i I thought about it, too. I was like, oh, this this would be funny because I could finally you could just call 911 and not get in trouble. But enough people actually did that, did that. They had to put another alert out, not like, please stop. If you don't have an emergency, please stop. You're not helping.
00:41:30
Speaker
Yep. Services have been restored statewide and can be used only for reporting emergencies. Do not place test calls to nine on one. with
00:41:43
Speaker
Like what, what are you accomplishing? I just wanted to make sure in case I do have an emergency wild.
00:41:57
Speaker
That sucks. What was the alternative? You had to call it like some fucking long ass number. ah You were just supposed to call. They were like, didn't call your local communities emergency services number, because that's something we all have handy. Yeah. Just, you know, what is what is Elmont? Fire department's phone number should be programmed into your fucking phone. I got to run up and get my kid to pass fire back.
00:42:32
Speaker
Sure, he's going to 911. He's going to 911.
00:42:39
Speaker
ah Yeah, that would that was I guess like a dad moment where you're like, Oh, I should know that number. yeah
00:43:15
Speaker
All right. Some good, dead air. Sorry. No, it's fine. I'm just shell shocked if I buy everything going on in this world, you know? Yeah, what what like what? What's the news? I don't know.
Social Media & Internet Behavior
00:43:33
Speaker
I haven't checked in on any of our Instagram gremlins, really. That dude Live Life James just scared me off recently after I watched like 10 seconds of his any of his new videos of him flipping the Egg. Did you send that today? Yeah, that was from like four days ago. I haven't checked up on anyone either until that popped up organically and I was like, oh shit, I forgot this guy existed. Um, yeah, he popped up recently flipping an egg, which is, uh, which is, I don't know. Yeah. Pretty. sand
00:44:09
Speaker
I really would have loved to know if he what how many jobs he's been through since the last time we watched it, but that's OK. um And then I saw a Davis Clark video where he. I think he's just always like this, but he was like a bunch of you are chirping at me in the comments, so that's why I'm here at the bird park. Yeah. to cause all you are churpers. I was like sick dude. You got him.
00:44:44
Speaker
And then I think, uh, I think now that, uh, chef Mike is eating healthy, he just decided he's not going to do videos anymore. Not posting anymore. Our guy is dead. No, I told him, he put up a poll and he was like, if I do healthy, if I started eating healthy, should I keep doing videos? And I was like, yes, dude, that's like way better. It's like actually way better of a niche than what you were doing before, which was like, Tyson chicken nuggets, let's go oh Yeah, blt let's go a fucking guy shows two seconds of cooking anything too insanity So that's unfortunate. That's just somebody who can't be helped. Oh, I did try um
00:45:27
Speaker
Those mango baja blast Doritos yesterday. Oh, shit. Saw one bag left over at the star market or whatever. Shaw's. Mm hmm. They're bad. yeah Whoever whoever thought Doritos needed to taste like a fruit wrong.
00:45:51
Speaker
I would say in general fruit with any chip, not a great flavor combo. Didn't need it, didn't didn't enjoy it. And I even got some like spicy queso. And I was like, ooh, these, I was like, these are bad. yeah And then I was like, I'll i'll i'll microwave some queso and that'll make it tolerable. Kind of didn't. So, um, sad to say Baja Blastaritos. Yuck. Yucky.
00:46:25
Speaker
dude Did you just make all that up, Paul, to get more ice cream? Yeah, she's looking pissed. She's fucking... She's up there screaming. Fuck you, man. As soon as you walk in. She's looking hot or something. I don't know. She's sweaty. Turn on the mini-split. Yeah, it's about... Nah, I just like just... We just want her room to be 100 degrees. Yeah, and Cook actually turned it off to put the heat bump on. I mean, it's you know, babies in like the Amazon rainforest make do so. Maybe there's like a it's like conditioning, you know. You don't raise a snowflake. Yeah, true. Oh, man.
00:47:17
Speaker
um Yeah, get the whistle going, dude. ah good question say oh chester ma Chester, Massachusetts is on the live stream. but the feer mass I don't even know where that is. Is that in Western Mass? Has to be. Chester, Massachusetts is in Hampton County. So yeah. You should have tried to give her a chocolate ice cream. She probably would've liked that. Hell yeah, just mid mid-sleep wake up, just get ice cream given to you. You're like, what the fuck? These fucking Alberta people walking around. Tried to pick her up, she didn't like that. Get the fuck off me, bro!
00:48:05
Speaker
We were talking about Live Life Jam just spiraling out of control. He's a roofer now all of a sudden. Just about doing that up, dude. Just in a roofing ponzi scheme now. I think we fell off until that egg video came up organically. But I didn't go any deeper into what he's been up to. I don't know. I've been paying attention. What's he been up to? Just being crazy. Just fucking four shots of methadone every morning. Yeah, dude. Talking about his kid. Fucking weird. Trying to get any job possible. Bro, he just gets jobs and quits jobs like nobody I've ever seen in my life. I hate it. I hate it so much. Yeah. Yeah. doug i'm I'm really thinking about working for a Walmart dog. He didn't end up going to Walmart.
00:49:01
Speaker
Now, I'm gonna try out this solar thing. It's a real good opportunity for my family. Fucking Ponzi scheme of a solar company. Anybody really like these blue blue pants? Blue Diamond. Are those good for you or are those bad for you? Dudes are also sponsored by Blue Diamond Pans. Blue Diamond Pans. I'm a diamond pants. I guest swa coated pans are best for you have the best PFA coating that ah will definitely make your kids be born without highlids. It's a good pad. Do not use Teflon pans if you have a bird in the house actually that's that's true and RFK jr. Should not use Teflon pans if he's if he has his Ravens indoors and so what made his voice sound like that ah because Use Teflon pans his voice sound fucking crazy after I
00:50:03
Speaker
heating your Teflon pan too hot will cause it to release a gas that kills birds. so Jesus Christ. like ah That's true information for you listeners. So think about that next time you eat food off of one. I use a ceramic pan. I think ceramics not as bad. No, it's one of the best. I looked it up today. It's the best non-toxic. It said ceramic or cast iron or stainless steel. Yeah, I think most of mine are but just don't have fucking time with the cast iron anymore. I like your thesis. Yeah, most of mine are so are cast iron or stainless steel, and then I've got one ceramic for literally for eggs, because like I know some people say you can you can nonstick your cast iron enough to fry an egg on it, but I don't have that talent and I can't fucking scrape egg matter off of a pan every time I want to make an egg.
00:51:04
Speaker
Would you say you use cast iron? What about stainless steel? What else? Yeah, I've got some, I've got a couple of cast iron a couple stainless steel and then one ceramic that I use for mostly for eggs. what's the cast What's the other one besides cast iron? That's like ah not not toxic. What the fuck's that called? pain the um Let me look that up in my orders. Pan. Here we go. Pre-seasoned mer preseasoned carbon steel carbon steel. That one's not toxic, right? No, that should be fine. What do you think about that? Is that not toxic? can't I mean, unless the metal were contaminated with something, which why would it be?
00:51:55
Speaker
I need to order another one of these. This just had chromium and fucking iridium in your... This is my original one. I gotta order this again. My ceramic is like fucking tiny. Yeah, you need a good one.
00:52:13
Speaker
is a Is this a good... Is... Is... Is a good... I don't want my fucking voice to sound like that. yeah was like then your attack ah use nonstic
00:52:36
Speaker
Who cares man, I'll just say it didn't show up and I'll get refunded anyways. Yeah, there we go. No one asked him about it on pods and stuff. ah That's what I would open with. Yeah. So why did your voice sound so shitty? It was a guest here. Yeah. so Probably on his his do not ask list way around Don't ask about the voice don't ask why we're blues brother suit don't ask any of that don't ask about my uncle don't ask about my Ravens I'm a human Raven. I look like Jeffrey Epstein kind of I
00:53:18
Speaker
Someone told me he was hanging with the Epstein, so he's also not on the list. He's not on the list or was on the list? No, on the good guy list. Oh, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure that, like, everyone is on the bad list except for, like, Dennis Quaid. Yeah, iRoker.
00:53:46
Speaker
Um... Yeah.
00:53:50
Speaker
There's not a lot of celebrities that would where I'd be like, oh, that's surprising. What? Oh, I was just a space station. Netherlands now on the live stream. Let's go. Hell yeah. Let's go. Kill myself. If I go to Panera Bread again, I'll fucking kill myself. I swear to God. If I ever go inside the Panera Bread, it's right in the fucking back of the head. Either garbage. the Now that they, um, they don't sell the lemonade that kills you. don even They don't even do good breakfast anymore, right? Did they ever do good breakfast? The bagels, the cinnamon bagel was so good. so such bagel You could get a solid bagel there. That's true. now it probably asks Yeah, I don't know. There's just, I can't think of a reason.
00:54:45
Speaker
I would ever be like, oh, Panera. Here's
Travel Mishaps & Work-Life Balance
00:54:48
Speaker
a story. I was at the connecting through the Charlotte airport on my way home, bro. Every single bathroom in there had a line out into the hallway. And it's one of the fucking most traveled through airports ever. Every bathroom. I feel like it's going so small. It's like fucking, I mean, it's pretty big. It has what, six fucking? terminals to it, right? I went to like, B, F, I don't know. Yeah, maybe two, maybe three or four different terminals, bro. It was insanity. So bad. Maybe it's time of day. It's fucked up, though. Shit, it's fucked up. What? What you sniffing? He's touching his acorns. I had a pen that I was trying to do a mustache with.
00:55:43
Speaker
But then I found, while I was in my desk drawer with this pen, I found this, these 500 milligram shroom gummies that have been e one e who in in here for over a year. And this fucking thing is, looks like a fucking pencil eraser now. Eat one, dude. I'm not going to do that. Eat one and go on all your meetings tomorrow. at all my I have no meetings tomorrow. I'm six months ago away from getting fired. I didn't know. I had one today. I don't i don't think I've had any ah at all. ah i My boss has canceled our last four check-ins. I haven't talked to him in like a month.
00:56:31
Speaker
He's always just like oh something came up and I'm like, it's dude dude. Just say you don't want to talk to me. It's actually fine It's not gonna hurt my feelings. He just texts you thumbs up emoji for your check-ins. That's how quick it is. Yeah Good talk to you in a month um Yeah, it's fine it's uh, it's so fun Man, isn't that nice though, dude? What my The weird situation I'm in, where I'm, where... You just don't have meetings, you just get to hang out. Yeah, dude, I just took a nap for like two hours. I'm tired, I'm gonna take a nap. Put on your calendar, nap 24. Put a focus hour on my calendar. Go lay on the couch while YouTube videos play on autoplay. I got some focus hours. Click present in teams.
00:57:32
Speaker
Yep. Coke boy. I'm a coke, coke boy, coke boy. don even see what i happened there If were to pull something up and be like, like what your like activity is and stuff. And then they'd be like, that you'd have to explain yourself and be like, uh, So there was no keyboard or mouse activity on your laptop for five consecutive hours. What was going on then? I was working on my desktop. Like, Oh yeah, man. Like, uh, I was on like the phone. I was on my phone meet phone meetings, back to back phone meetings with my team, just like back to back oh yeah phone meetings. What's wrong with that dude? That's why they probably would have been like,
00:58:26
Speaker
Looks like you're on Reddit for about four hours today. What were you doing on Reddit? Backpage dot.com for six hours on the company computer. You searched a big titty anime babes. ah Yeah, I meant to do that on my phone. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
00:58:52
Speaker
That's why your check-ins keep getting canceled. Your boss ain't on that tip, dude.
00:59:00
Speaker
More of a everybody loves Ray kind of guy. some good If you had to pick what kind of show your boss is, what kind of show would you pick? What kind of show? Yeah.
00:59:21
Speaker
what is my boss handley not your boss my boss yeah all right first adjetive manly yeah a ace hardware full time until time with ten allen a hardware trim section of running um I don't know. What is what? ah What is the show that epitomizes white guy dreads? Oh my god ah That's a good question, I don't know Rocket power. Yeah That's to be some some show that's relevant now. I feel like rocket power is like being too nice.
01:00:09
Speaker
Big bang like young Sheldon or something ready Young Sheldon Big bang theory one of those dude. Yep. Cope or mafia
01:00:32
Speaker
What's our boy on, uh, what's our boy on Discord's name? Shout out to, uh, was it Gucci? Gucci. Desert are Nomad 69. Shout out to you, bad boy. Remember since February 7th. I like his dogs. Hell yeah. Shout out to your dogs. My my my man makes burgers every day somehow. I fucking love it. His dog's got big nuts. What are you doing today? Just making burgers? Hell yeah, bro. Dude, always making burgers. I fucking love it. Always making burgers at Audi's, testing out the meat at Audi's. I don't even... It is what it is. I went to a very nice ah local grocery store today. It was actually like the fucking cleanest, nicest thing I've ever seen in my life. What was it called? shout and Give them a shout out. So one of the Piggly Wiggly's shout out to Piggly Wiggly. Okay. What is that? That's a grocery store? Yeah. And it's like... mission
01:01:31
Speaker
You know, nice wooden shelves. It looks like they stock everything one by one. There'll be like a thousand Powerade stocked one by one in an aisle. They just have plenty of room. That seems dope. Yeah, it was great, dude. They have fucking chicken breasts already cut up. So then the like, you know, fresh chicken breast cut up. So then I don't got to cut it up and I can just fucking season it and cook it up. That was nice. What did you do? Like stir fry, like chopped up pieces of chicken breasts? What do you mean? Chopped up pieces of chicken breasts. And then I just seasoned it with adobo cayenne and salt and pepper. And, um,
01:02:14
Speaker
some sweet chili sauce. Then I just fucking throw it in the oven in a pan and then fucking broil it at the end to get crispy and then put it over rice and some ah green beans and fucking eat it, dude.
Community Engagement & Podcast Promotion
01:02:27
Speaker
didn't have I was going to do red beans and rice in that, but I had to pivot at the last second. You fucked up the beans. Yeah. I knew I liked this dude. The one discord member said he would go out. go out like a real champion, go out and I'm burning blaze of glory. No, he just let the cops kill him because he needed, because he wanted to do as many memes as possible. out of
01:02:53
Speaker
He's got a plan. He's not going to show god all these pussies people making out on the stream right now. What the fuck, man?
01:03:03
Speaker
Oh god. All right. Jumping over Patreon, guys. Subscribe to the Reddit. Join the Discord. It's on the Reddit. Join the Patreon. Save us before I shoot myself in a Panera bread. I'm going to get fired in six months. I got to have a plan B. I need a plan B, guys. I'm having a second kid in September. I need that. Yeah. Please, God, somebody help us. All right. Goodbye. Bye.