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Original Understudies - EP 100 - Live At The Chaos Bloom Theater in Denver Colorado
225 Plays9 months ago
This episode will cap off Season 1 of Original Understudies. It was recorded live at the Chaos Bloom Theater. I am still struggling to get the equipment working properly to record live shows, but with the help of Toivo, we were able to take some pretty blown out microphones (My Bad) and salvage them to a listenable quality.
This series would not be possible with the unending support of our Post Audio Engineer and Sound Designer , Toivo Kallio. He is an incredible kind soul who has tirelessly cleaned and mastered nearly every episode of Original Understudies without complaint. Please give him a follow so you can see the cool things he has in the works going forward
Toivo Kallio - @Toistinen
That music at the start... You know who that is? It is The Quick Six, I bet you would love their whole album "County Line" check it out!
Todays Understudies are...
Amey Goerlich - Chaosbloom.com
Zak Roland - Chaosbloom.com
James Heaney - James Plays Elden Ring
Adrian Holguin - King Penny Radio Hour
Rober Abbot - @RobertDAbott
Heather Curran - Chaosbloom.com
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Audience Interaction
00:00:00
Speaker
๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ episode of Original Understudies where I've gathered the world's most original understudies and we're going to perform some improv comedy for you using your suggestions. Now I'd like to get a suggestion from the audience first so if anybody can shout out something that they're passionate about, something that's not a food item.
00:00:33
Speaker
Any words at all? But I can't, if you're all screaming at the same time, I can't hear you. Crunchy. Crunchy. Great. So Crunchy is going to inspire us today.
Meet the Improvisers
00:00:45
Speaker
But let me first introduce the improvisers, starting with Zach. Zach, hello. How are you today? I'm great. Do it well. Why don't you like people to find you online? Online? Please don't. I don't like to live there. But you can find me right here at the Cass Bloom Theater every weekend. Right here at the Cass Bloom Theater.
00:01:08
Speaker
And next up we have Amy Gerlich. Amy, thank you both for having me out here today. Where would you like people to find you, Amy? They could find me here too, or they could go to my Instagram and watch my Lollipop Guildmare video. And I love the Lollipop Guildmare. And next up we have Adrian. Adrian, thanks for being here tonight. And it's great to find and see live. We're not out of Zoom, Paul. Where would you like people to find you? What are you working on and see? Tom, they can find me here sometimes at Gasplume. And also
Crafting as a Calming Activity
00:01:39
Speaker
if you go to kingpenny.org, that's our 1940s radio, improvised radio show. That's pretty fun that we're doing right now.
00:01:50
Speaker
Dan, forgive me. I'm dropping your name at this very moment. I'm ashamed of myself. I Online. Great. Thanks for being here, Robert. And last, but certainly not weirdly, Robert, thank you for being here, Robert. Thank you. Yeah. Just cover Robert in the world if not online. You can obviously find me here at a Chaos Flume Theater in Denver, Colorado, or you can follow me on Instagram at Robert D. Abbott.
00:02:35
Speaker
No. Robert E. Abbott. Please, thank you guys for being here. Thank you. And Jane Teeney has found me. This is the original understudies podcast. And I'm so thankful that you're here live and listening online. Crocheting. My grandmother crocheted a whole bunch. And I was not like one of those kids that didn't enjoy getting the blankets. It certainly wasn't my favorite thing. But as an adult, I find that the things that she made were much more precious than any GI joke toy that she had gotten me. So crocheting is the act of what? It's not, is knitting and crocheting the same or? No. No. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know the fundamentals. It's more like knots. You're like basically making tiny knots over and over again. to
00:03:31
Speaker
Okay. All right. And I would argue that the end result looks a lot more like Matt for me than like something you would sell. Yeah. Okay. My students. taught high school math for a million years. In the last few years, have more and more have started to show up and will crochet during lectures or doing military activities during presentations. I have four or five kiddos, boys and girls, um um crocheting. It seems to be this thing that the kids have come out of that I'm never doing. You don't like stop them from doing that? You're okay with it? I mean,
00:04:14
Speaker
is that They could be watching porn on their phones and stuff, right? Like, gosh. It's like it engages their hands. It's like this zen repetitive kind of thing like that. And depending on what we're talking about or doing, if they're participating, it's, I think, a kind of a great way to sim. The sim? Was that? Yes. Sweetie, a porn on his phone. My mom is really into making these.
00:04:47
Speaker
these felt type ornaments like she'll buy the whole like cutouts and like they're pre-made to the point where there's instructions and she'll just like go crazy during the holidays and then it be become like an all year long type thing. So yeah you go to my parents house and it's just like little felt things just sta you know staggered on the walls and yeah just all throughout the house. I, uh, I love felt, um, and I think it is really targeted towards the holidays, but also if you ever went to vacation, Bible school. Yeah. Yeah. You don't know that. Well, you probably had so much less to process on your child. One event of many, it's like a Southern Baptist thing. So vacation, Bible schools during the summer, you get to go to church for a whole week all day long. I actually did have friends that do that, but I never went. They'd disappear and I'd be so jealous. Yeah, I don't know that I would be well. I think your NFL, it was a lot of artisan grass, felt heavy grass. I went to vacation school, yeah. And what did you think? Well, I still remember a song from it. Oh, yeah. It was like a pirate themed vacation Bible school that summer. And the song went, welcome aboard.
00:06:09
Speaker
on the vacation Bible ship. Welcome. My sister went in high school, which I don't even think that was a thing. But she still very, very supportive of God. And in a very beautiful way. Yeah, I will say in a very beautiful way. But she in high school made a bumper sticker that said, home for Jesus,
Improv Scene: Survival on a Ship
00:06:45
Speaker
because she felt like she was literally doing the Lord's work. And he laughed and laughed about how that did not work out for her.
00:06:55
Speaker
Original honor studies, 100.
00:07:11
Speaker
seat for so long i can't believe the we can't find land now i don't want to sound like i a free just anything brief me we should choose prayer to spining land so choose choose
00:07:33
Speaker
I didn't see you as a god-fearing man, you're more of a... I haven't feared him so far, but now I've had options. I don't want to scare y'all, but downstairs there's not much more proved.
00:07:56
Speaker
I'm sorry I hate to be the guy on the ship that does this. I don't really know how this will help us when we're in the middle of the ocean. What do you think birds are just gonna fall out of the sky for food?
00:08:11
Speaker
Okay, listen, I'm just big John that's all I know okay, but I don't think there's anything bigger than me up there
00:08:24
Speaker
Wait a second. look Did you think that it was trying to kill me? You're a fool! I think you Then you... I figured it out like this. More wishes. We get more wishes? Yeah. Now I don't want to, even though I'm captain, I think it should be something we come together with. I wish I were captain.
00:09:04
Speaker
I wish I were captain. I wish I were captain. I wish I were captain.
00:09:22
Speaker
Where's the pole? It's over the top of me! We switched it over! We switched it over! Captain, what's with all the porn? You found this porn down in the stores! Wait! You're not Captain! You're wearing the hats! Let's follow the porn!
00:09:54
Speaker
Did you do your homework? I have a heartbeat. I was going to, i but I and wanted to. Yeah, me too. You didn't either? No, I mean, I did it, and I crocheted my homework, but then I can submit that. No. No. Oh my God. It's what? What? I got a landline. Shut up. I did. I called the phone company, and I was like, do you guys know those things that you put to your ear and you dial and you plug into a wall? And they knew what you were talking about. It took a while, but then they figured it out. Have you had a phone yet, though? Well, they said I'd die. Right. And he was like probably two years older than us. And he was like, I don't even know how I installed this.
00:10:46
Speaker
seriously Well, i I mean, I barely know myself. Well, I mean, just cause I looked it up on YouTube. okay So like he came in and we we started like looking for like holes in the wall. Okay. for Right? Yeah. And like, what does the hole look like? And he's like, I don't know. I'm like, I don't know. So you were actively talking about holes in the wall? I just realized.
00:11:25
Speaker
Brian, you installed the phone line, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you think it's going to connect to, Brian? Where's it going to go? I tied ah some knots. I tied some knots in the in the it's a core, I guess. Yeah. And then I just stuck it in the ground. Brian. I think it's a pretty good start, but I'm afraid that we're gonna get in trouble for fraud. For fraud? For fraud. Hold on, what do you mean? a We gotta get all the employees together. There's a new thing. And it's a new thing? Yep. It's called the Internet. Oh my god. There's a ton of cords. There's a ton of
00:12:12
Speaker
Speed. Speed cords. Speed cords. It's called honey answering machine. Yeah, a lot of cords. You gotta plug it in. I think it's the good thing. Listen, I feel like some of these things are what we call ratring as were coming back to that hor anan shoot oh yeah And when I was working out with me, you know.
00:12:43
Speaker
I used the internet. Guys, guys, guys, look at this. It's a phone on top of a keyboard. They call it a fax machine. We're rolling that in here. Oh my god. Look at that. It's got a phone. It's got buttons. You can feed paper through it. It's a miracle. That's incredible. I've been sending things through the clock for so long. It's nice to have something physical physically tangible. Touch it! Feel it! Put your hands on it, right?
00:13:30
Speaker
It's got your DNA, Dale. What the heck?
Art and Emotion: A Poem's Discussion
00:13:33
Speaker
This is gonna take over. It's great it's all code. Dale. Dale, you're mean to me. This is the heroes.
00:13:45
Speaker
Sorry, it's starting to give us the fingers.
00:13:58
Speaker
This outfit looks made. I just want people to think I'm cool and hip. Honey, they'll love it, okay? They're gonna love it, all right? Just felt. Do you know how cool felt is these days? show them All right? That is all felt, made with love. It doesn't have a logo. It's not supposed to have a logo. The kids are totally terrible logos. But then those kids are dummy faces, okay? Okay. And a bunch of dummy faces, and you know who's not a dummy face, my little Henry boy? Yeah, come here, let me touch that felt. Oh, so nice.
00:14:31
Speaker
Isn't that Mom, do you ever think maybe me you have a twisted sense of smartness because you're my mom? No, never. Mothers always know everything, OK? Hey, darling, hey, hey, build another beaver. See, your father knows. Keep on speaking with her. I just told you. Thank you, honey. Now we're going to put that piece. over that piece. I don't know, I've just been thinking maybe if there's something more sustainable about this. What's more sustainable about this? What's more sustainable about this? What's more sustainable about this? What's more sustainable about this?
00:15:35
Speaker
Thank you for the stuffed beaver inside of your fat.
00:15:41
Speaker
I didn't understand the poem that came with it. Oh, it was, it was what I felt at the time. Yeah. um like carry you the beaver yeah did you show a beaers and it Oh my god. you shake the cell child
00:16:21
Speaker
I can really hear some great things about this earth. Fast forward, you've been ready. Well, I wouldn't have categorized it as... You might not, but a whole lot of other people do. How about this beaver stuff? Well, as I run my fingers through the beaver, I find a bit of waste-ness. Right, and there's a whole story about stuffing beavers with fat, and I get it in fat. I get it in fat.
00:16:56
Speaker
We love the book so much that Warner Brothers wants to make it a film. A film? A film! A real adult film! An adult film?
Exploring Creationist Themes and Extinctions
00:17:18
Speaker
Counselors, counselors, come on in, come on in. We've done a meeting. We've done a scene for camp, okay? Because we've done Jesus. We've done baby Jesus. We always do the undocumented T.A. Jews of Jesus. What are the internal family systems of Jesus? What's a Jesus inside of Jesus himself? beauty Say more, say more. Like within Jesus, sure, Holy Spirit God. But there's like wounded Jesus, like pre-cubescent Jesus, there's Jesus with a sacred heart of Jesus, with a sacred heart and a butterscotch.
00:18:00
Speaker
Yeah. Did I see you in Jesus? Sorry? Did she see Buzz cut Jesus? Yeah. Yeah, you don't have an idea. What? No, I know. I totally know Buzz. You're not here.
00:18:13
Speaker
CrossFit Jesus. CrossFit Jesus, yeah. It is later years, yeah. I don't know, but let's cut Jesus, right? Okay, good, good, good. If he answers, just say yes, right? Okay, I'll probably rehydrate, Todd. He's the only one that knows how You're to run the not here. zip line. Yeah.
00:18:45
Speaker
If you don't understand it, why not? Really?
00:19:02
Speaker
I went to the Creationist Museum. I believe it was in Kentucky, it could have been Tennessee, but it's undeniable that just there was the c Creationist Museum, but then there's also the recreated Noah's Ark to scale using the biblical sizes of cubits. and it was incredible wow when you go inside i think a lot of the drawers to get the kids to want to be there so there's ziplines the creationist museum but what they've done at the at the recreation of the arc is there's the obvious of zru lines that stuff
00:19:36
Speaker
But there's also dinosaurs. And I think they got every single dinosaur there. There's T-Rexes, Biosauruses, Stegosaurus. But I didn't see a single Wolverine. Because I don't know. There could have been a Wolverine somewhere there. I'm just trying to think of animals. There's obvious animals like bears and lions. Probably I don't remember that but I do remember thinking myself they didn't skip on any dinosaurs In the creation Museum
00:20:12
Speaker
I gave them my money twice. In the creationist museum, one of the first parts you go to is the Garden of Eden and there's Adam and Eve and they're naked, it's hot. But there's also, there's the train, there's all of it. What you see also is a velociraptor there.
00:20:44
Speaker
I was a big church head when I was younger, but I blame a lot of my false knowledge on stuff like that. Uh, cause I just like bought into whatever was going on at my church. Um, and it was until what, like maybe eight months ago that I discovered that the planet had like caught on fire and hurt and died multiple times. Wait, what? I know, see, every time they say this, because I was like, oh, it just happened once, dinosaurs all died, right? And then I watched the show, where it's like, no, no, no, this has happened like four or five times. And like, we are approaching that place again. But like, there's been different types of death in the source, which I was like, my mind was
00:21:28
Speaker
Absolutely blonde. And everyone else is like, you're dumb. But still, I was like, this is crazy. It's crazy. um When I was younger, at the church that I went to, we did a Noah's Ark musical. oh Yeah, and it was pretty great. The song that I remember is a song called Flood Stuff, and the stuff that you put in the boat during the flood, it was pretty interesting. I have no idea, but I still to this day remember songs from it, but it was like, and it was this whole thing where like, it was sort of like Why in the World is Carmen Sandiego meets like, Bella.
00:22:08
Speaker
They were like just
Childhood Plays and Roles
00:22:11
Speaker
like there was like these kids that were like discovering parts about Noah's art and then there'd be a song and then there'd be more discovery and the song and it was fighting for I don't know this but it was it was a wonderful thing to be part of good time The play I did when I was young wasn't at church. It was at school. And it was like called Bugville or something like that. And all of us students were bugs, different insects. And um I remember in being in class, I was like seven years old, and the teacher was reading through all the parts. And my name hadn't got called. My name like ended up being the last.
00:22:50
Speaker
to get cold. And by the time it got there, I was in tears because I but thought I didn't have a part. So here I am crying. And apparently I end up getting the biggest part, which is the mayor of Buckville.
00:23:08
Speaker
So I was just like, yeah, that's fine. What kind of bug was the mayor of Bugville? The mayor of Bugville was a human, of course. But I got to learn my dad's Looney Tunes cots. Oh, wow. My traumatic performance was fifth grade graduation, and since I didn't get any big parts, I decided to write my own. And I wrote like a bluesy sort of song, and I got four of my cool cool friends to be my backup singers. And it was like, ever since I've been going to school. And then they go, da, da, da, da, da, da.
00:23:46
Speaker
Only got through two lines, and I forgot all the little things. And I got such things, like my eye was twitching, my lip was quivering, and like tears just started. And the parents ate that shit. They love a kid who can't follow through. It does not surprise me at all that after forgetting the lines and being traumatized, that you've become an improviser.
00:24:20
Speaker
Original Anderson is 100!
00:24:28
Speaker
All right, kids. So we're going to just I'm just going to say who everyone is reading for, OK? So of course, we have, oh, of course, the caterpillar. It's going to be Melissa. Bye. All right. All right.
00:24:49
Speaker
Melissa. Suck it. Okay, Melissa. Do I become a butterfly at some point? You do. Very good. And then I'll live for a week. Yeah. Okay, great. And then next we have the centipede, which is going to be Thomas. Yes. Right. It's going to be 10. Live for 100 arms, right? Yeah, it's a sinner. It's a hundred. I've studied a lot and you didn't make a big mistake. I've got this rule. It's a legs norm. Yeah, I was gonna say they're legs, right? They're not arms and they can't actually hold anything. What? They don't have opposable digits or anything. They're just little digits. It's fine. You'll be fine. You resemble the centipede. I know. Everybody's always sipping. Squids don't have hearts. They don't. Correct. I don't think I'll ever eat. He'll never be able to eat. He's going to die in this plane. He'll be fine. He'll be fine. You're not, Thomas, you're not going to die in this plane. Okay? I'll be right in the plane. Okay. Can we move on? What was that? The stink bug? Stink bug? Jason. Yes. Yes.
00:26:02
Speaker
You know why? Yes. Okay. We asked you to shower. It's a condition. It's not a condition. It's not a condition. I talked to your parents. teacher thirty it's It's not a condition. Melissa, I don't know how you do it. Robert's drooling. Robert, honey? Are you okay over there? Yeah. Okay. no Are you ready for this? ah You're going to be Mayor McCheese.
00:26:32
Speaker
butter can need burger cake And then they have Jack in the box. It's just Jack. But this is Mayor McCheese visiting Bugville. Okay. And I thought you would be the best Mayor McCheese. Do you remember why? ah Because I have red hair.
00:26:51
Speaker
I'm glad you said it. It makes me not hate myself. Is he going to fall down and then we're going to eat him? No, we're not going to eat him. He's going to eat.
00:27:08
Speaker
We can like kill him. We can bite him. Like you could sting with your fingers. Yes, one of my hundred stingers. They were not stingers. I'll send Jesus in with my beautiful butterfly wings and promise him lots of things, but then I die. Oh my goodness. Did I sing the song? Okay. All right, and we have a new student. I didn't get a chance to introduce yet. Just because this is a creationist school doesn't mean we can't have a praying mantis in this production. This is Tanya. and She's the praying mantis. I guess she just made that up because it's not in not in this. She just made it up. I make my own roles when roles don't come to me after intense prayer. All right, Tanya, did you say you had a song prepared for the
00:27:58
Speaker
The show? Always. Okay. And you wanted to hear it now? Yes, no better time than now. I just need to make sure it fits in. Just gonna cut your head off and then eat your body. Stop. Jason. You just gave away my big lyric. That was the bridge. Sorry. You're not gonna eat anybody. Nobody's eating anybody. It's not me. I'm gonna die. You're not gonna die. I am a method actor. And if I'm going to rip off a hand after pro-creating with one of these bugs, no one's there. Nobody's pro-creating. This is ninth grade biology. All right. OK.
00:28:41
Speaker
Let's just hear it. I don't know why this is a curriculum. I'm gonna attempt you with my whisper. a Oh, I'm gonna attempt you to want to do it with me. No, no, no, no. Okay. if we do it, I'm gonna screw it up. I hate your head. You'll be dead. Oh, Jesus. This is crazier than the porn I watch.
00:29:24
Speaker
Where's our school? In our town, there's giving a bad name to McDonald's. There's a lot of fun. And Mayor McCheese is allegedly going down there. And I don't think we like it. No. Yes. Thank you. As the Hamburglar has stated, we've got a lot on the line. So we've got to think about ideas of how to stop these cats.
00:29:57
Speaker
Thank you, Hamburglar. But this is a team effort, Grimace. well um i could um um i guess i could um um i could give him a big hug oh damn it skirmish you are good at hugs fry kids? yeah what about fries?
00:30:28
Speaker
what you're saying what are you made of felt well first of all we need to have a much better attitude everybody here i guess you're not made of hamburgers are you rebel and are you not made of eggplant no Dammit, Ronald. Oh, please, Ronald. Go ahead. Oh, um, I'm Wendy. Yeah. Yeah. Ronald wasn't working for me. I'm Wendy now. So watch out. I've heard everything y'all have said. And if any of those ideas were good, I would have brought them back to my franchise.
00:31:17
Speaker
Ooh, she's frosty.
00:31:27
Speaker
I don't want you to perform in any play because you're consummating, mating, eating anybody's head off, okay? So I need you to go back to class and tell that teacher you're not in the play. All right, Tanya. Those are the only kind of plays I want to be in, Principal Harris. Tanya, you call it him dad. OK, just because he's the principal, you call him dad right now. Call me dad. and He really wants this. I know he's your stepdad and it's new. He wants to be your stepdad. OK,
Interview at the Creation Museum
00:32:12
Speaker
dad.
00:32:14
Speaker
Alright now, Tanya, I don't want you to play a character in a play that is what I would consider... I don't want to use the word, but it's it's a bad word about being too promiscuous.
00:32:33
Speaker
We here at the Creation Museum in Belleville, Kentucky are very excited to take on your application. It looks like from your past work experience, you just have a way of doing whatever you want. Yeah, I say, well, I give a fuck when you can give zero. Okay, we gotta watch the latency. I love anything performative that is sexually inclining me. Oh, whoa. How about a naked? Oh, wow. A hand-drawn photo of a naked Adam and Eve. Oh, is that a Tyrannosaurus Raptor event? It is. And I played all three of those. Whoa, that's cool. Wow, that's exactly the mindset we're looking for here. We don't have a lot going on in this town. Do i get you want to make me nervous? Yeah, oh, this is how I talk. OK.
00:33:27
Speaker
I just feel like you're kind of nervous around me. Like, you can't take a sexually empowered woman out of the creation of this museum. No, of course not, OK? The fact is, the fact of the matter is, this museum is going to get closed down unless we get more patrons to it. The museum? Uh-huh.
00:33:50
Speaker
Ken, you're having a stroke. Holy cow.
00:33:59
Speaker
It's been happening for about a week and a half. I didn't know that that could be a thing. You ever count the holes on the ceiling? You ever count those holes up there? There's a lot. Yeah, get a little heartbeat! Wow, what? What? No heartbeat? I swear my heart rate got going wild the other day. Well, I was actually checking mine at the same time, so maybe it just can't seem to turn it up. I guess that could be one thing. Well, it's very nice to meet you. I'm ah in charge. Well, I've designated a new person charged at the Croatian Museum on Highway 257 there. Take the XF-36 off. Yeah, I've been here for about 15 years. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. I don't know if I'm ready for that.
00:35:06
Speaker
you know oh Thank you. Okay.
00:35:17
Speaker
Welcome to Peter's Gate-Taker! You've arrived!
00:35:25
Speaker
All right. All All right. All right. Oh, I'm so sorry. You probably don't realize it. Don't make me do it. Get that. What? You're trying to scare me? You're trying to the hike in Sedona that you were on. hey Yeah. This is Sedona. Hey, I gotta to go back down. Some hassle pirates are making wishes. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. That's the guy. That's the guy. That's the guy. Wow. All right. Forgive me. I thought he would be bigger. Oh, he is. He is. Well, that's how big he is. OK. The truth is he's a lot. He's larger on the inside than on the outside. OK. Forgive me. What's your question? Oh, Chris. Oh, geez. What's the last thing? Oh, buyers. Geez. You're not on my list. Really?
00:36:19
Speaker
christopher byers jr i kick the junior i'm not a big fan of my dad
00:36:34
Speaker
na no so You left the back door open. Oh, you left the back door open. No, no, not anymore. still We're not doing that technology. We're going back old school. OK, school. Yes. And then you you left the doggy door open, too. So we've got a bunch of people coming up and escape. Well, look at this. This way.
00:36:58
Speaker
my name's martin t dale hold on one second oh he's alive he's definitely alive yes i remember was being told i didn't have a heartbeat but my doctor and i thought it might have canceled out because we were together at the same time right did you hike in cedona were you doing a hike in cedona after that oh I could have been. Yes. Well, that's where the bank door is. Well, I'm going to go see. What? Yes, cool. Well, that's a full guy. You're like a doctor with no heartbeat. Were you talking and and but having a conversation? ah Those are clues that you weren't quite dead. Oh.
00:37:37
Speaker
okay well and just turn around you see those class stairs yeah just go down okay oh wow okay i mean i'm sorry i didn't know those vortexes were open you do it as your kid you're not fat like king you gotta close that gate okay okay absolutely don't let anyone like you excuse me excuse me Hello, am I in the right place for the musical about the Noah's Ark? Were you at a Lakers game? Yes, I was just at a Lakers game. Okay. No, me, Jack Nicholson. Yeah, I know who you are. Yes, sir. Yes, but I'm here to do a musical about Noah's Ark.
00:38:22
Speaker
Somebody stop me. That's not my line. Good friend of mine. chief sir jack nicholson are you the golfer
00:38:36
Speaker
dare you yeah dare you sir Jack Nicholson from the shining.
00:38:46
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. I'm not even about culture, because I've been up here since, well, before common era.
00:38:59
Speaker
Hey,
Personal Stories of Hairstyles
00:39:00
Speaker
I'm thinking of losing a lot. Just a full buzz cut. Just real high and tight like a... Oh, Jesus, this is not like really... Not for us to say no, but remember what happened? I think his name was Sam. That's disgusting. This is old school. That's old testament. Sure, absolutely. Who Who broke down the gates, right? Who wrote the script? Is this a Chris? Because it might be Samson?
00:39:36
Speaker
You said I don't feel like I'm connecting anymore with the kids, right? Last three themes at VBS have been just bullshit. That's a bad attitude, JC. Why don't we just cut? Why don't we just shave underneath? We left you a real nice moment. I'm telling you, balls cut.
00:40:03
Speaker
I'm glad you've counseling. You're just stuck in a bit of a victim mentality. It's all about what other people did or didn't do, how good your hair is or bad. So, so you, uh, you, uh, you gave a fish and bread to a bunch of people and not one. Thank you. Hey, Jesus, you did a lot of good things. yeah I did a lot of good. I did a bunch of good things. Jesus. Yes. I think that part of you in your family system is overriding like, it should be, let's cut Jesus. You know, it's, it's like, uh, let's tap into him. Okay.
00:40:46
Speaker
Jesus, thank you so much for coming to HR. Oh, hey. So there's been a lot of talk and we've talked about it and we don't think that you should call the things that walk around that don't look like us demons. We decided that as collectively we'd like to call them dinosaurs. pray slider They're sores because they're like No, I get eyesore. It's just demons easier to spell and it kind of gets the, like, it goes with the whole biblical thing, right? Yeah, it's just that, yeah, people feel like a couple of people have been really triggered by that. Yeah, well, I just feel like this is like when I, when all my suggestions for what angels should look like all got shot down, then you just went with a person and two wings. That's stupid, right? I just feel like everything I bring to the thing...
00:41:46
Speaker
So we had to give Todd the axe for good. That means you're in charge of the zipline, okay?
00:42:06
Speaker
When I was in my 20s, I had dreadlocks a couple of times. The first time I had dreadlocks, I made them with mud and clay, and they were not very clean. And I had moved to Venice, and the first place that I lived, there was a bar by my house, and I used to sit by myself and write poetry in the bar. And one day at this bar, I was writing, and I saw that and the an ant was crawling across my poetry book. So I shoot it away and kept writing and so this place is fucking filthy. And then another ant was on my page and it was only moments later that I realized those ants were coming from my scalp and I had that very day I cut every single one of my dreads off and for the record dreads can be very clean as long as you don't use like clay and mud to do it.
00:43:01
Speaker
The way that I did it well, and I had him for like seven years afterwards, was tying nuts. It was very painful, but then I could wash them, and I was ant-free. I'm just trying to picture you with dreads right here. I mean, they got down to about here, and I mark you, I looked real sexy, Zach, real sexy.
00:43:24
Speaker
Man, I mean, I had some pretty crazy crazy hairstyles. A lot of mohawks. Really? Colored mohawks, especially. Was it to the skin on the sides or was it? Maybe not skin on the sides, but it was pretty it's pretty down there. Definitely had a mullet or two, you know. I desperately wanted a mohawk when I was the kid. Yeah. I was not allowed. My first mohawk was like 13, and I was just here to go to summer camp, Boy Scout summer camp. But not the other side. Not the Bible school summer camp. I had moved on from Bible school and gone into Boy Scouts. Wow. I really sift a lot. We can't eat on Scout, right? I don't eat on Scout. So let's commit then. Yeah. Well, it was like first summer camp, and I was like, I want to be cool. I want to stand out, and I'm going to get a mohawk. And it was like a person that I knew had been cutting my hair for a long time, so they cut it. And it was like,
00:44:13
Speaker
It was huge, but I didn't know how to take care of it. And I didn't know how to like style it, but I'd i'd seen some guy use like gelatin. You ever heard about that? You guys put gelatin in your hair? and Yeah. All right. So I guess, you know. Did it work? No, I don't know. I guess it was not it, but maybe. No, mine was just like, it just flopped over. It was a real lip balm. Like a rooster snake. But I made an impression. I definitely made an impression.
00:44:54
Speaker
It's picture day, you can't go to school looking like that. Why not? Oh my gosh. I put Vaseline in my hair. I look like Grandpa Todd. We're going to try to rinse this mess. No, Mommy. Sweetheart. He's my hero, and I want to look like the best little girl in school. The best little 85-year-old girl in school. play Your scalp looks like you're a lizard person. Please, let's try to rinse it. Good. Good? Yeah. But you're my princess. I don't think you can even... Hi, Grandpa. Hi. Do I look familiar? Let me get you a Werther's.
00:45:35
Speaker
was up See, Ed, please don't encourage this behavior. She looks up to you. Tell her how she looks.
Technology's Humorous Side
00:45:43
Speaker
yeah yeah look likey what You You look... Nice. All right, everybody, I'm going to work. I'll be back around 8, 10 tonight. Oh, wow. Hi, Danny. I didn't do this. I know that I've made her look up to like a lot of different things to this. Do you know what? Kind of cool outside. I see this. I'll be back in eight days. See,
00:46:15
Speaker
Danny didn't care. Have you considered wearing a hat for pictures? A hat? Yeah, I've got hats in my closet. I've got lots of hats. Mom, I'll wear that fedora. Give me that fedora right there. Yes, my eyes are squaring. Where's all of that? No, please. This is your sister's Vaseline. And you look up to your sister's sense of style. What do you think? I like it. You like it? I like it. Check out those scams. Those are very nice scams. Ew.
00:47:09
Speaker
All right, so we're just going to go ahead and get a nice photo here for you, just trying to find the lighting.
00:47:19
Speaker
The lady tried to comb my hair, but she lost it inside my hair. I can see that. It seems like there's a lot of things people have lost in your hair today. There's a script. I'm just going to do some more lighting. You look lovely. I don't know about the hat so much. might
00:47:49
Speaker
won't All right, that's not um okay. Why does the photo have ah wheels? I think they got stuck on there. okay really yeah playing Music for all the other kids. Why won't you play Frank Sinatra for me?
00:48:11
Speaker
Oh, Ted, where are you going with your camera? There's still a lot of kids. No, I can't. I can't. Ted, you've been a photographer for so long. Don't you try to bite me like a dinosaur. That's a new thing. That's not a new thing, OK? You have to ask me to fax them. I don't... What is that? Why are kids faxing? Ted, just put the camera equipment down for a second. Let's talk like adults. I can't do it anymore, Doug, OK? I think I... You know what? I've been a terrible photographer for a long time. Let's just admit that, OK? I've never had a complaint that was legitimate from any of the parents. All the complaints were legitimate?
00:48:48
Speaker
Wait, how many complaints have you gotten? They were not your fault. Their kids are not good looking kids. Dad, please, please. I can't do it. Can we just do it, Doug? All right. I'm going to go for a hike in Sedona. No, Careful up there. What are you talking about? People dying up there. They're dying on Sedona.
00:49:13
Speaker
we we We take them with Polaroids, okay? And we get one one copy, but I just got a new thing. It's a new piece of technology in here. Take a look at this. This is a photocopier, okay? Here's a photocopier. You just lift up the panel, and that looks like a big cheek. all right there you You can even send it to somebody's house. Wow. Isn't that crazy? Whatever number we just put in here. I feel like I'm famous now. Well, it's going to save picture day. Tell the truth though. Did I just put my hands where someone's butt was?
00:50:05
Speaker
Is that a face? What is that? Is that a face without eyes? It's a smile.
00:50:15
Speaker
Sorry. Yeah, it's a bite. It's a bite. Wait, there's another one coming in. Why did the elementary school set this up? And that's a show!
Closing Remarks and Future Plans
00:50:45
Speaker
Thank you for listening to the 100th episode of Original Under Studies and what I'm going to call the wrap of season one of Original Under Studies. This whole series wouldn't be possible without the help of our post audio engineer and sound designer and overall amazing human being who has donated their time to making this podcast a reality
00:51:13
Speaker
I'm forever grateful. I am also very thankful for the Patreon members who have helped me afford to get the servers, to get the Zencaster recording, to get all of the things necessary to create this podcast. And I am sure as shit not giving the podcast up, but we're gonna take a break. And when it comes back for what we're going to call season two of original understudies, there's going to be a shakeup. I don't exactly know what it's going to be yet, but I know there's going to be a brand new world for it. So please, if you are interested in supporting the podcast,
00:51:50
Speaker
Please go to patreon dot.com slash original understudies. I'm going to be putting out content there, whether it is video versions of the podcast we've created in the past. There's going to be some sketch comedy that I have created that I'll be posting there first before it goes to the wild world out there. And that's just a great way to keep up. and yeah Honestly, there's even the version of the patron. You don't have to pay for it, but that would be a good spot to keep up because there's going to be a dry spell on the podcast being uploaded. See you soon.
00:52:26
Speaker
he's one hyb thank you so much for listening yeah