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50. If you've ever been called ditzy, dumb, air headed, and it made you feel stupid: LISTEN to this
19 Plays3 months ago
Hi babes! This is a must listen to if you've ever been called ditzy, dumb, air headed, stupid, a bad listener, not opinionated enough...
I bet you have an undefined or open Ajna center in your Human Design.
You are not dumb, you are not a bad listener, you just process information differently.
This episode I give you the exact reason why you feel like this, how your mind operates, the difference between defined and undefined Ajna, and the exact tips and tricks you need to ACCEPT and EMBRACE this about yourself and how it's actually a huge gift!
Let's connect: Ellisa's Instagram
Work 1:1 @byellisamccoy (stan.store)
xx,
Ellisa
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Transcript
Introduction and topic reveal
00:00:00
ellisamccoy1
Hello, hello my friend. Welcome back to the It's Happening for Me podcast. I'm your host Alyssa and I am so happy that you're with me today. So today I am dog sitting. I am in my mom's office and girl, I want to talk to you about something that I'm super passionate about and I think this is going to help you a lot if you relate to this and if you're someone on the purpose path, this can be something that really, really holds us back, especially as women.
Personal experiences with inadequacy
00:00:33
ellisamccoy1
So if you have ever felt stupid, if you have ever been called ditzy, airheaded, um forgetful, like you're not opinionated enough, this is for you, okay? I have spent
00:00:52
ellisamccoy1
a lot of my years on this earth feeling like I was super dumb. I have been called airheaded. I have been called a valley girl. I have been called ditzy. I have been called anything you can think of around those types of comments, right, around those types of negative, rude comments. And I want you to know that I honestly used to believe them until I learned about human design and I discovered that I have an undefined Ajna center.
Understanding the undefined Ajna center
00:01:21
ellisamccoy1
Okay, so in this episode, I'm going to be talking to you all about the undefined Ajna center and actual like real life examples of how this can
00:01:31
ellisamccoy1
show up in your life in some of the challenges and how to actually embrace it and to embrace the freaking gifts that this center gives us because it is truly a gift. It is truly a gift to be open minded. And despite any of the challenges or anything that comes with it, there are so many ways to actually like work around this. And once I embrace this within myself and realize like, oh, this is just how my mind works. This is how my mind processes data. And I accepted that. It gave me so much confidence to fully step into my leadership and just be who I am. And it actually takes away so much pressure from trying to be perfect or trying to show up like other people or, you know,
00:02:14
ellisamccoy1
have everything together or seem super smart and um just lean more into my gifts right lean into more of what makes me me and that is what makes us more magnetic is just like really understanding who we are and having this awareness because trust me if you have this undefined i promise you you have been told one of these rude comments you're dumb um you're not listening, you're ditzy, you're a valley girl, you, depending on how you speak.
Societal pressure and intelligence perception
00:02:45
ellisamccoy1
um Yeah, but I want you to know right now, girl, we are not dumb, okay? So let's talk about it.
00:02:52
ellisamccoy1
So the Ajna center is going to be in your body graph, the second shape from the top. So we're going to have the head center, which is kind of related to the crown chakra. And then we have the Ajna center, which is also related to the third eye chakra. um In human design, the Ajna is responsible for data processing. So it takes in information, it takes in thoughts, information from the head, and it processes it, okay? It's an analyzer, it is a data processor. um A lot of times we get kind of jumbled up, right? All of us, all humans get jumbled up when we try to use our mind to make decisions, right? Because our minds are not
00:03:34
ellisamccoy1
Our minds are not the decision makers for us. No, no, no, no, girl, you know this, that it is your authority, right? We have an authority that is the way that we are designed to make decisions. um The mind is really good at analyzing things, at making pros and cons lists, right? But if we try to make decisions from the mind, that is where we get into looping
Strengths of open-mindedness vs. 'steel trap' minds
00:03:58
ellisamccoy1
thought patterns. That is where we get into anxiety. That is where we get into trying so hard to be certain when I can tell you right now, if you have this undefined or open, you will never have certainty. You were not designed for certainty. Okay, so as scary as that can sound when you first learn that is actually super freeing because it's like, oh my God, like,
00:04:19
ellisamccoy1
You're telling me that I'm never going to be certain in my life? Okay, cool. I can start moving through life a little bit more trusting, right? A little bit more trusting with the universe, trusting with divine timing because I realize that my human self can never be fully certain about something, right? And so instead we look for clarity. So let's just talk about it first and then we'll get into some of the challenges and the benefits, right? So like I said, the Osho Center is really here to process data. Okay, so it's taking in information from the mind, filtering it and then energy and the way that human design works is, it is literally just a ah kind of like users manual for our energy. So energy comes in through the mind or through the root and it wants to go somewhere.
00:05:04
ellisamccoy1
And so the way the place that it wants to go is to the throat center. It wants to move its way up to the throat center and out as communication, as manifestation. It wants to do something, right? Like energy wants to create, energy wants to do. So we are taking in information and we're processing it right here. If we had this undefined or open, right? If it's white in your body graph, we do not produce our own energy here. So we are open minded.
Encouraging authenticity over memorization
00:05:32
ellisamccoy1
Someone who has this colored in, produces their own energy, it's defined. Their mind, you guys, is like a steel trap, okay? This is someone who can recall a history fact from seventh grade. This is someone who can recall a chemical reaction from chemistry from sophomore year. This is someone who
00:05:56
ellisamccoy1
knows every like artist, every movie they've ever watched, every actor's name from every goddamn movie. like This person can remember things. It is a steel trap. okay like Information comes in. They got it they need it. They need to hear it once or see it once. It's stored. okay For those of us that have this underfinder open, our mind is not a steel trap. That information comes in and it goes out just as fast. It's kind of like goes in one ear, out the other. okay So we are not recalling facts. We are not storing data in there. We are not remembering our best friend from second grade's phone number. okay like We are not remembering these things.
00:06:36
ellisamccoy1
and so That can feel, if we don't understand that that's just how we are, it can feel like we're dumb. It can feel like we don't know how to remember things. It can feel like we don't listen. Other people can make us feel like we're dumb, that we don't know how to listen, that we must not know how to like learn things. And it's it's not that we don't know how to learn things, it's just that our mind is doing other shit. like Our mind has other gifts and it's not here to like hold and hoard all of this information. It's here to just like let it come in, go out, and the true knowledge, the true wisdom, the true things that we need to recall when we're in our genius, we will be able to recall it, okay? You will be able to recall things that you need. It will come to the surface when you need it, so don't even try to beat yourself up.
00:07:23
ellisamccoy1
to memorize things because it's good luck. like we We are not meant to memorize things. um One thing you guys that has helped me significantly in this whole like memorization data like recall thing, um especially as a leader, especially as somebody who is obsessed with like all these esoteric studies. right like There's a lot of information in human design. There's a lot of information in the gene cues. these are It's like knowledge, it's a shitload of information and knowledge that yes, we then take it in and embody it once we understand it, but it's like, it's a lot of memorizing. So I learned very early on, once I learned this about myself when I was learning human design, is that I'm not gonna be someone who just memorizes every gate, right? Like I don't remember every single gate in human design, what the number is, what center it's located in, the name of it, right?
00:08:20
ellisamccoy1
I'm sure that's something that if I cared about it, I can, I could learn it. Um, but it's like, I don't care to like, I allow myself to reference things. So like, I have so many interests. I have so many things that I'm obsessed with. I'm, if it doesn't come naturally to me as a line two, right? Like line two line twos, we easy breezy genius too. That's like a good two for, but line twos, like things that come really naturally to us. So we just pick up like the gene keys. I understand the gene keys like like this. like i don't like It's like I've memorized like all of the sequences, right? like All of the pathways, all of the spheres, all of the lines. like That comes easy for me. But certain things like human design gates, I'm not going to beat myself up for not memorizing them. It doesn't make me any less embodied. It doesn't let make me less any less informed. If I can just look back at my notes, look back at my book, look back at my references, anytime I need to reference information,
00:09:18
ellisamccoy1
It's like, Oh yeah. Gate 54 aspiration. I know exactly what this is, right? Like it it allows me to know the information, but not hold it on so tightly to where I feel like I have to memorize it. And so this is freeing you guys. I want to set you free if you have this undefined because you're not dumb.
Impact of undefined Ajna on relationships
00:09:38
ellisamccoy1
You're not any less than someone else that's in your same modality who has a defined mind a defined ashna and they can hold on to this information like steel traps and just recall shit like that is a really cool flex like I'm not gonna lie like that is super cool but it's it's not necessary right like we have other things that make us like super unique and really really like incredible in what we do and we don't need to bog ourselves down or worry about like the fact that we can't memorize things okay so
00:10:08
ellisamccoy1
A tip here, you guys, if you struggle with this, if you're in education, if you're in some sort of modality where there's like a lot of information, ah ah do this, allow yourself to take notes, allow yourself to have visuals, allow yourself to have things to reference you. it It does not make you look any less professional to tell your client like, Oh, that's a great question. Let me look this, let me look up something and then just pause and like look up your references, right? It's, it's better to be yourself. It's better to be authentic and honest and be like, oh yeah, like, let me check. Instead of lying and pretending, pretending to be certain, pretending to be like a know-it-all, pretending to be like, oh yeah, I know that. And then just making some shit up or leading whoever you're speaking to in the wrong direction, because you are so afraid of looking like you don't, you're not certain about something, right?
00:11:04
ellisamccoy1
We will never be starting about things. It's okay to reference things. It's okay to go back and say, that's a great question. Let me look. That doesn't make you look like you don't know what you're talking about. It makes you look actually very smart. It makes you look resourceful. It makes you look like a leader, like you're an integrity, that you're transparent. It makes you look Really good, okay? So that's my first tip is um if you have this placement, if you have this undefined or open, allow yourself to take notes to reference things anytime that you're at work. If you're with a boss and your boss asks you a question, don't be afraid of looking dumb to where you just make up some answer really fast to look certain. I've dealt with, i've you guys, I've done this so many times with my boss in the past where I have had like this like knee-jerk reaction to like answer him right away.
00:11:54
ellisamccoy1
even if I don't know what I'm talking about and then he'll question me and then in the end I just look more I just looked I truly looked dumb because then I look like I'm lying and I also look dumb because I'm just like making up some sort of answer to relieve the pressure of not knowing so instead what I do now say hey oh my god that's a great question let me check or Yeah. Oh my God. I, you know what? Let me check something really quick. I'll get right back to you. Literally. It takes two seconds. Double check. We need to check, check the numbers, check the data, and then get back to them. That is, that is honestly how you're going to start moving through life in an embodied way using your design to support you because we're not just going to know. We're not holding on to the facts of the P and L's of the, whatever it is you have going on in the business and the corporate job. Like you don't like, we're just not holding onto this and that's okay.
00:12:45
ellisamccoy1
Okay, so the next part of that I want to talk about where this can get a little bit tricky, but I want to show you how it's actually a positive is.
00:13:01
ellisamccoy1
Sorry. cause super thirsty. Okay, where this has been challenging for me is in relationships. So the thing about us, okay girl, the thing about you and me, is we have an open mind so we can see every side of the situation. Okay, so say there is a circle and this is like the situation, you know those shapes? I don't know what they're called, but the shapes where it's like, it looks like a circle almost, but it's actually like all these lines that make up the circle. We can see every goddamn side of the situation. So in relationships, specifically romantic partnerships, okay? Like I'm thinking about me and George. Because I can see the side of every situation, I play the devil's advocate as like,
00:13:52
ellisamccoy1
a reflex. Like it is just in my nature to offer him like another viewpoint, another vantage point of like how the other person is seeing something. For example, see if he's telling me something about like a conflict he's having with somebody at work, his team member, someone, wherever, right? um Instead of just instead of just like being the partner that he probably wants me to be, which is just like, allowing him to vent, like holding space, um validating his feelings, just allowing him to vent, right? That's what people really want. Instead, I reflex jump into like playing the devil's advocate of like, Oh, well, okay, yes. But have you thought about this, this and this? Have you thought about x, y and z of why they're doing that? Have you thought that like, maybe they're not actually doing this on purpose, but it's bla blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And
00:14:42
ellisamccoy1
While that can be like a very positive attribute in romantic relationships, I have noticed that it can be frustrating for the other person because oftentimes, and we know this right as women, oftentimes when we are expressing something to our partner that we're going through, we're not looking for solutions. We're just looking to express ourselves. We're just looking to say, you know, like how we feel wronged. We're looking to say how we feel slighted. And we really just want support and we really just want connection, usually, right? Unless we're really looking for solutions, which is like usually we're not. So I have noticed that allowing myself to step back from that side of myself
00:15:24
ellisamccoy1
recognize what situation am I in? Does my partner just want to vent to me and be like, okay, like, you know, really support him, validate his feelings? Or is he asking me for solutions? He's, I can tell you right now, he's never asked me for solutions. Okay. Like that man can, he, he comes up with some really good solutions. Like he's like, he'll tell me, he'll genuinely tell me like, babe, like, I really want your perspective on this. Or like, Hey, like, what do you think about this? Like, this is what's going on. And like, I'll know, I'll know, because he's asking me for my opinion. Whereas If just allowing him to vent, which is like mostly what happens in relationships, it will save you so many disagreements. It will save you from your partner feeling like
00:16:03
ellisamccoy1
He has literally, that' that's one thing we've really struggled with in a relationship is he feels like I don't support him or like he is not seen, he's not being um understood and he's not being supported and then I always take everybody else's sides. That's like one of, that that's honestly like the biggest thing that we have. And it's not even that I'm taking other people's sides, it's just that I can see so many other perspectives from having this undefined option, this open mind. that I'm genuinely trying to give him so many other perspectives where I'm like, I really don't think this is what's going on or like this could be this could be what's going on.
Leveraging multiple perspectives in coaching
00:16:37
ellisamccoy1
And so that's really challenging. Like I'm telling you like this is it's very challenging. And so really learning this about myself has been game changing, because now I know to just
00:16:52
ellisamccoy1
take a breath and know that like he doesn't want me to, he doesn't want me to go into the devil's advocate right now, right? He just wants to be supported. And then he, and then now that I do that, and sometimes obviously it's like human design, it's his experiment. We have to, we have to experiment with these things to actually see changes and to like see how it plays out. But you guys, I promise you 1 million percent of the time that I just like validate his feelings and don't play devil's advocate and just validate the shit out of his feelings. He feels so seen and our connection is so good. And then he's able to just move on in a second and we can move on to something else, right? Whereas if I constantly play the devil's advocate, it can create arguments, it can create fights. He can feel like, this is why I never tell you anything. Like you always take everybody else's side. So I just, if you have this placement, I guarantee you can probably relate to this.
00:17:41
ellisamccoy1
Okay. Where this is really helpful, you guys, is in a coaching situation. So if you're a coach, if you're a healer, if you're a guide, if you are someone who is in the service-based industry, who's here to help other people, um, if you are a consultant, a business coach, whatever, this gift is fucking incredible. Incredible. Because when your client is so stuck in, like, one-track thinking of like seeing no possibilities and feeling so stuck and feeling like they're so just like here you know and we really want to pull them out of the box and get them like seeing all these other different perspectives it's a gift like it's literally a natural gift that we have we're so good at seeing bird's eye view we're so good at like showing them like oh well like especially if they're having like interpersonal conflicts or
00:18:31
ellisamccoy1
If they're feeling conflicted on how to solve something, maybe they're like really nervous about, for example, maybe they're really nervous about quitting their nine to five job and like pursuing something they actually want to do. They're probably in their mind. and visualizing and really going over and over and over how it's gonna look when they put in their resignation, right? And it's probably like the worst case scenario. But with the undefined mind, we're so good at being like, hey, hey, girl. you are mentally rehearsing a worst case scenario when you turn in your resignation, that your boss is going to be so upset with you, that your whole team is going to turn on you, that everyone is going to think you're selfish, that everyone is going to be like mad at you and like just completely giving you the cold shoulder for like the next two weeks. But really let's turn this around. I bet you your boss could be like, Oh my God,
00:19:30
ellisamccoy1
you're going after your passion? Oh my God, I fully support you. Wow. Like you have been such an instrumental part of this team. I am so grateful for everything you've done for us. And I want nothing more than you to live your soul's purpose and to love what you do. And I'm so excited for you. And like, how can I help? And like, do you need a recommendation? And I bet all of your team members or your peers are going to be like, Oh my God, like this is so cool. Like, What are you doing? And like you can even get clients from your peers. like There's so many ways that we can turn it around, which is so cool as someone with an undefined mind. If you're in a leadership role like this, or like I said, a coach, a healer, a guide, because you can help your clients easily and quickly look for the best case scenario, which it can sometimes be a little more difficult when we're the ones in the situation or
00:20:24
ellisamccoy1
It can be difficult sometimes for people who have a defined mind because they really, truly see things from like rose like their own rose colored glasses, their own rose colored lens. They see the world a very certain way. And sometimes it is a little more hard to change their mind or to give them to see things from other people's point of view. So it's a huge, huge, huge gift if you have this, okay? Because we can see so many different sides of things.
Interest in philosophy and open-mindedness
00:20:52
ellisamccoy1
um Yeah, super, super helpful. Okay, so another place that this can show up. So we already spoke about how we can feel dumb, we can feel stupid, we can feel forgetful.
00:21:04
ellisamccoy1
um We can... It's happening to me right now. um We can feel dumb, we can feel stupid, we can feel forgetful, we can play the devil's advocate too much in relationships. Um, yeah, so here, so yeah, so we are, these are the, these are the pros. Okay. We're very open-minded. We see things from all levels. You're probably somebody who's very interested in like philosophy and understanding how the world works, psychology, um, any of these so systems like human design, astrology, like you really like to see like archetypes, the way different ways that people think you're very open to different things. You're, you're very open-minded. So you're very probably into like the spiritual stuff, the
00:21:50
ellisamccoy1
health stuff like maybe you live conspiracy theories right like we're very like we can see all sides um you are somebody who yeah so like very flexible you're somebody who is also very compassionate because you can see so many different ways of how people think it makes you incredibly emotionally intelligent because you can really see and understand like why someone's behaving a
Certainty vs. clarity and truth
00:22:19
ellisamccoy1
certain way, right? It's almost like you can put yourself in their shoes and like think how they're thinking because you can think in so many different ways. Um, another way this is super helpful is yeah, I think those were it like just being super, um, yeah, like super open-minded, super curious about things.
00:22:43
ellisamccoy1
Yeah, I think those I think those I think those are the top top things I want to talk about. um
00:22:51
ellisamccoy1
I feel like there is one other place where this can get tricky. um Okay, yeah. So I just want to touch again really quickly on on certainty and then we're actually all done for today. So again, we're not meant to be certain. So people who have defined Ajnas, they have a way about them that is very certain. They're very opinionated and they see things a very certain way. So coming from somebody who like us is not, We can feel wishy-washy. We can feel like tiptoeing from like not picking a side, but it's really just because we literally see all sides. And then also, instead of trying to always seek certainty, having the freedom of knowing that you will never be certain, instead, choose clarity. So I think I already spoke about this earlier. This is the second time I'm recording this because my ah microphone was actually on mute when I did this the first time. um And so I'm like, girl, like this is already a day late, girl. like I'm going to do this again right now.
00:23:50
ellisamccoy1
Um, so I forget if I talked about this in the first time I recorded this, but anyways, um, certainty. So really seek to be clear, clarity. Clarity is your best friend. Someone, if you see like people online that are like very certain, either, either they haven't ah defined Ashna, so like they're really certain about things, but certainty. Okay. Certainty does not equal. Right. Okay. I'll say it again. Certainty being certain about something does not equal facts. You can be certain as hell about something, but it doesn't mean that it's a factual. So be aware when you are learning from people or where you hear information from people, just because they're so passionate and certain about it, doesn't mean that it's true. So that's something to be very aware of. Second thing, we can sometimes us, uh, with undefined actions, open actions can,
00:24:47
ellisamccoy1
ah feel the trap to be certain about things that we're not so like we can pretend to be certain so this can sometimes feel like or look like lying or um assuming things just like being very certain about things that we're actually not certain about and it can just like lead us to have issues down the line like this has happened to me so many times so for example i i this I remember a perfect example. So one time me and George, it was kind kind of late at night and we wanted to go get food or like, I think we wanted to get ice cream at Cold Stone. And so he was like, Oh, I wonder what time they close? And I was like, Oh, they close at nine. And he was like, Oh, are you sure? And I'm like, yeah, for sure. I wasn't actually certain, but I sounded so certain because I was actually, I really didn't know, but I was just going off of like,
00:25:35
ellisamccoy1
what I thought was true or like a past experience that I had about like a different ice cream store or something I forget what the what it was but I honestly I really truly did not know I did not truly know Cold Stone's hours of operations but I was so certain and confident that it closed at nine I was like a reflex like yeah they closed at nine I sounded so certain I was pretending to be certain and so we drove all the way there 20 minutes And we got there at like 8 30 and they were closed. And he's like, Oh, I thought you, I thought you were certain that they closed at nine. And I'm like, Oh yeah, I guess I wasn't, I wasn't sure. I didn't really know. So sometimes it's like, we just say shit that we think is certain because we're going off of like, I think it was because I knew this other ice cream place or something closed. Yeah. Like at like nine. And so I was just going off of that.
00:26:28
ellisamccoy1
or I think it was like a different day of the week or something and I knew Cold Stone closed at like Fridays at nine. So I was just like, oh, it's nine. But I didn't really look up the hours of operation. I didn't really know. And so what we do now is like, instead of pretending to be certain, anytime that I sound very certain, George is like, okay, do you like, do you really know that or are you just saying that? And then I'll check myself and I'm like, oh yeah, I'm just saying that. Let me Google it. And then I'll just like pull up my phone and let me check the answer real quick. Let me actually check the hours, right? Because I don't actually, I don't want to be wrong. And it's not like I'm lying. It's just that I'm like, reflexively pretending to be certain about something that I don't really know what the fuck I'm talking about. So yes. So I don't know if you can relate, but I just want you to know all in all to package this up. You are incredibly smart. You are incredibly intelligent. You're wise. You are
00:27:20
ellisamccoy1
passionate, you are, you are so perfect in the way that you are. You don't need to be certain about things. You don't need to memorize things to be an expert. You don't have to have everything figured out. You don't need to have a steel trap mind. It's okay to be forgetful. It's okay to be a little slower when processing things. You're not dumb, you're not ditzy, you're not an airhead, you're not a bad listener. Okay, like you know how to listen. Your mind just processes things differently. And that's good because there's so many gifts and there's so many beautiful things that make you you. So the more, I promise you this, the quicker you can embrace this about yourself, the quicker you can and be okay with forgetting things, with being forgetful, with being all of these things. And like the next time someone ever gives you that rude ass comment,
00:28:07
ellisamccoy1
that you can just let it brush off of yourself and be like, girl, I'm not dizzy. I'm just I have an undefined option that like literally it's going to make things just feel. So much better. OK. And I think that's it. Alright, you guys, so I hope this was helpful. If you would like to get a human design reading, a Jean Keys reading, I will put all of the links in the show notes below. So go ahead and schedule those. If you are interested in doing like a longer term one to one mentorship, I also offer that. So that includes everything. So that includes human design, all the Jean Keys readings, Akashic records, um subconscious reprogramming,
Conclusion and offer for further engagement
00:28:47
ellisamccoy1
and we really do like an achievable goals
00:28:52
ellisamccoy1
process where we actually work on something that you're trying to bring to life on your purpose path. So it includes everything all together to really work with you through all of the limitations that are going to come up, all of the fears, and you get to know yourself at such a deep soul level. You become so freaking magnetic, so driven, so on purpose, and you have someone that's literally your biggest cheerleader that's literally like, girl, this is just how you are. So how can we embrace this more and magnetize everything you want? Okay. So I'll put the link in the show notes. If this was helpful, DM me. Oh my God. Send me a DM on Instagram at I am Alyssa May. I would love to know if this was helpful and I will see you guys next week. Okay. Bye-bye.