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47. How I stopped drinking alcohol 8 years ago and never think about it, The Power of Identity Work
23 Plays4 months ago
Hi babes! I saw something this week that made me reflect on my alcohol-free journey that really started in 2016, so over the past 8 years I have been alcohol free aside from two pivotal events where I drank twice-- once at 2 years sober, and then once again a year later at the same exact work trip, to now being alcohol free since 2020. I don't consider myself starting over on my sobriety journey and both times taught me new lessons that I needed to learn. At this point alcohol is totally neutral for me, I never think about it, it doesn't trigger me and I can live my life co-existing without any struggle and I want that for everyyyyyone who has had a problematic relationship to it!
I share about:
-Why alcohol impacts people differently from genetics to environment and our childhood
-My relationship to alcohol starting off in 8th grade to my young twenties and how I became super dependent on it towards the end
-What the Akashic Records say about alcohol culture and how it's really used as a distraction
-How our identity is SOOO crucial in actually having lasting change
-Why inner work matters any time we want to change an outdated behavior or pattern that isn't serving us anymore
-How my life is so different from where it was 4,8,10,15 years ago and how I almost don't even recognize that older version of myself, I've had many deaths
-I offer hope and proof that life can be so juicy, and fun and full and even more exciting without alcohol, coming from someone who NEVER could picture living life without alcohol
-Why the word sobriety feels energetically heavy to me and why I prefer alcohol free
-Why I don't resonate with AA, my experience with it and the power behind our words as spells and our belief in our identity
I hope this episode was helpful to you in some way and if you'd like to hear more details on what the Akashic Records say about the spirit of alcohol, DM me on instagram!!!! www.instagram.com/iamellisamae
Join my Piecing Together Your Purpose Through the Gene Keys Masterclass, July 14th 3PM PST: https://calendly.com/byellisamccoy/soul-purpose-blueprint-gene-keys-masterclass
Work with me 1:1: https://calendly.com/byellisamccoy
If you loved this episode please rate and leave a review, it would mean the world to me!
XX,
Ellisa
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Transcript
Introduction & Personal Journey
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello, my friend. Welcome to the It's Happening For Me podcast. If you are obsessed with all things spirituality, personal growth and development, and living as your highest self, you are in the right place. I am your host, Alyssa, and I spent the majority of my teenage years and young 20s living totally out of climate. As I started to question my patterns and behaviors and actually got to know myself at the soul level, I realized that everything was happening for me. Now, as a spiritual life coach and human design guide, I am here to share my voice, personal stories, human design wisdom, and learn from incredible individuals living their purpose. Join me each week as we walk the spiral path of purpose together. I cannot wait to dive in.
00:01:03
Speaker
July weekend. I hope that you had a beautiful weekend. Happy Sunday if you're listening to this on Sunday and happy whatever other day you are catching this episode
Alcohol & Personal Reflections
00:01:14
Speaker
on. So this weekend I was looking on Instagram and I follow this account of it's like this like sobriety account and I don't personally like to use the word sober. Like I don't really like to identify as sober just because of like ah kind of like the energetics behind like what that word feels like. But anyways, um I was looking at this account and the the girl who runs the account, she was like posted that she um relapsed and like drank again after two years of being sober.
00:01:52
Speaker
And she was talking about how like over this past month, she has kind of been like trying to moderate and like make up different rules for herself and um like her experience with what she's learned from this whole situation. And it got me thinking a lot about my own journey with alcohol abuse. And so I just wanted to really talk today about like literally how I have completely changed my life to the point where like i you guys don't even think about alcohol. like It is so neutral to me to the point of where like I never desire it. I never have FOMO. I never feel like I'm missing out. um It's not hard at all for me not to drink. I just like am so in love with my life and like how good my life is without alcohol that it just like never crosses my mind.
00:02:46
Speaker
And so I forget that some people that really struggle with alcohol and with, you know, alcohol abuse, like that some people, a lot of people are living in this place where like it's all they think about and it's really a struggle. And so I really started thinking about my own experience and like, why is it that I used to have such a problem and I used to be able to relate to that so much. And now it's like my life is so different that it's like, almost unrelatable. And why is that? And so I wanted to kind of just like dissect that today. So I think this will just be really interesting because if you kind of like even if you personally don't have a
00:03:28
Speaker
estranged relationship to alcohol. um If you like having your cocktails and your wine, I just want you to know that I'm not against alcohol. like um I think everyone has their own like relationship to it and that is so perfect. um But just if you don't struggle with alcohol specifically, maybe think about something else in your life that you struggle with. like Maybe it's food and like food addiction or whatever it is. I think if you really look at what I want to talk about today from that lens. It'll be so powerful because I can also put all of my thoughts that I want to share with you into the idea of like my own ah journey of like food and I wouldn't necessarily say food addiction but yeah just like issues with like oh my god like what do I eat and like really obsessing over food and I guess like diet culture. So
00:04:19
Speaker
Yay! I'm
Challenges & Insights on Alcohol
00:04:20
Speaker
so excited to get into it. And then also, I don't know if I'm going to share this part, but I did open up my Akashic Records and I channeled some messages, some questions that I had for the Akasha around alcohol and like why does our society drink so much? And like why is it such a big part of our society? What is like the spiritual lens of like what's going on behind the scenes with alcohol? Like what does the spirit of alcohol look like? And so it was like pretty fascinating what I got. And I just was like channel writing. So I asked my questions, I opened up my records, asked the questions, and then I was typing like channel writing.
00:04:58
Speaker
and it was just full flowing through me. like I feel like that was one of my like strongest gifts is like being able to like channel write, but like channel type because I can type so much faster than I can write. and It was really interesting, but I will say that I am a little nervous to share it because I still have this fear, you guys, that people are going to think that like these are my own opinions or that I'm just like making this up you know where I'm like this literally that's not the case so I don't know if it'd be more beneficial to have like some sort of like other community where I share like bonus episodes bonus podcast episodes about more of this like this kind of like very niche topic stuff where it's not super public you know I feel like that might feel a little more safe to my nervous system so that I'm not going through this whole week in a
00:05:49
Speaker
like, vulnerability hangover, of like what I'm sharing on the internet for free for everyone to hear. But yeah, so anyways, I'll think about that as I go on with the episode. But yeah, let's just get into it. So I was really contemplating this idea of like, okay, I started drinking very young, I started drinking in high school, even actually in middle school, like eighth grade. And growing up, Alcohol was super normal to me. um It was super normal in my immediate families. Like my parents, my parents were really fun, like social drinkers. Like they always had friends over or we always went to my parents' friend's house where like I was like friends with their kids and our parents would just like drink and like smoke cigarettes like in the garage or like in the backyard. And it was just very social. It was very fun. It was very lively. There was music. There was laughing. There was um just a lot of joy around it.
00:06:45
Speaker
And so it was super normal to me. like I just saw that and I really kind of made the connection in my like brain and my neural pathways that like oh alcohol is something fun that you do with your friends. like It is something that's very social and it is just like a fun time. And I personally, growing up, never saw anyone that was an alcoholic, like both of my parents drank, but they were, I kind of like consider it like normal drinkers, like people who can like drink and like have fun, let loose, but they know when to stop drinking. You know, like they aren't dependent on it. They don't drink every day. They don't drink every weekend.
00:07:25
Speaker
But they can have some beers, they can have some wine, and it's just like fun, right? And this is also where it gets like really tricky, okay? Because if you're trying to identify like, do I have a problem with alcohol or not? It's like the guidelines are so confusing. And it's just like, honestly, crazy. So I think it's really like more of an intuition thing. like you just know like you just know like for me it was so obvious that my relationship to alcohol when i started drinking was so different from everybody else's because like i just couldn't stop like from the first time i started drinking i wanted more and it was like every time i drank like i would only stop drinking if i either passed out or like if we ran out of alcohol or yeah like like that's really the only reasons like if i passed out or if we ran out of alcohol so it was like i always was chasing more and more and more and more and
00:08:14
Speaker
I actually have. um So I really like this. I really like this. um
00:08:24
Speaker
I really like this. It's not a quote, but this is what I pulled up from the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism is alcohol is dually reinforcing because it can both activate the brains reward processing system that mediates pleasure. and reduce the activity of the brain systems that mediates negative emotional states such as stress, anxiety, and emotional pain. So I just think that there's so many things that go into like what makes somebody susceptible to having an alcohol use disorder or like being an alcoholic. um This is also something that I pulled up on
00:09:03
Speaker
the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholisms website. So it says, how do genes influence alcohol use disorder? And it says, alcohol use disorder, AUD, often seems to run in families, and we may hear about scientific studies of an alcoholism gene. Genetics certainly influence our likelihood of developing AUD, but the story isn't so simple. Research shows that genes are responsible for about half of the risk of AUD. Therefore, genes alone do not determine whether someone will develop alcohol use disorder. Environmental factors as well as gene and environmental intrications account for the remainder of the risk. So essentially they're saying that there are multiple genes that play a risk in the role of somebody um who may develop alcohol use disorder, but also so many other things go into it like um our environment and like how we grew up and trauma and all of those different things, right?
00:09:59
Speaker
So yeah, obviously I'm not a doctor, but I just want to share my own personal experience. So I have found that there are people who like normally drink, right?
Struggles with Moderation & Personal Growth
00:10:11
Speaker
Who can like drink and have drinks. And then there's people like me who cannot normally drink. Like it is like, you cannot stop us. Um, I've gone through so many periods of time where I was trying to stop drinking. And I don't think a normal person would ever say that they tried to stop drinking so many times, right? But there were so many times in my life throughout the years where I was trying so hard to stop drinking and I would try to moderate or create rules for myself. And we find that this is very common for people who are, you know, probably have an issue with alcohol is like creating rules. So like, okay, um I'm only going to drink when I'm with friends or
00:10:47
Speaker
um out at dinner. You know, I'm never gonna drink when I'm at home or when I'm alone, or I'm only gonna drink on the weekends, or I'm only gonna drink on special occasions and I'm only gonna drink beer, or I'm only gonna drink wine, or I'm only gonna have two. I'm only gonna limit myself to this many. You know, like there's so many rules that we can try to place on ourselves. And I'm sure for normal people who are normal drinkers, it works, okay? But for me, and I'm sure many others, it does not work. Like no matter how many rules I would make up, I would always break the rules and then I would get in those cycles of like shame and guilt for like, and just being mad at myself for like not being able to follow this rule. It's like, why can't I just do what I say I want to do? And it's like alcohol is affecting me in a different way. Okay. Like alcohol is, something is happening in my body and my makeup that is different than what happens to other people.
00:11:43
Speaker
And so just really like identifying that probably also took me so many years. like I just always thought that I was fun and like wild and crazy and just like wanted to have a good time. And that's why I always wanted to be like the last one that went home and like, oh, there has to be an after party after the bar and an after party after after party. And like it's just also since I was so young, like in my teenage and young 20s, college years, high school years, that's kind of just like the culture. like It's kind of just like ingrained in there. so I think it was a little bit more difficult to see that I probably had a problem.
00:12:18
Speaker
as opposed to like, if I was still behaving that way at 30, like it would be very obvious. Like, you know, if we think of like, typically people in their 30s have to go to work and it would be a little abnormal for someone to want to stay out like even later and like, oh, like not, not go to sleep until 6 AM when they have to be at work at eight, right? Like that probably is like a little bit problematic. So I, Yeah, just growing up, like viewed alcohol as like super social and super normal. When I drink it, I initially like immediately felt that like reward center going off or is like, Oh my God, it felt so good. It made me feel so relaxed. I like was I can I consider myself kind of like a warrior or a person that leads more towards like anxiety. So a lot of like overthinking I have a lot of thoughts that are always going on in my head. And so the alcohol really quieted that for me. So it took away that overthinking.
00:13:17
Speaker
And then it created this false sense of courage and this false sense of confidence. And I felt like amazing. like I felt like I was the coolest person I knew. I felt funnier. I felt livelier. I felt more outgoing. like I typically am more introverted, um definitely very introverted. and I have a 2-4 in my human design and so it's like the 2 is the hermit. It wants to be alone. It needs a alone time to recharge. The 4 is very like connections and people and so it really fed into that because I love just like being with people and like being able to create these instant connections with people. Like alcohol took away any of the awkwardness, like any of the social awkwardness, which I know now is just like a normal part of life, right? Like it's a normal part of like human behavior.
00:14:05
Speaker
so I just immediately loved it. I immediately loved alcohol and started drinking for every occasion possible. So like anything you can think of, I would want to drink. So it could be like going to baseball games, like weddings, obviously. Obviously, any obvious places that people drink. Um, I think our culture, especially American culture is like so tied into alcohol. It's like every party you go to, every celebration, um, every loss, have a hard day at work. You go get drinks with your friends. Something stressful. Go get drinks with your friends. Hello. This is editing Alyssa here. I'm just editing this podcast and I feel like I forgot out. I forgot to mention kind of how bad like it got for me in my drinking. And so I think that.
00:14:55
Speaker
I want to just add in this little clip here just so you can understand like how severely alcohol was really impacting my life um and then just like move along with the episode because I think it just shows for you to understand the depths of like how dark it got, I think really is a testament to how beautiful my life is now without alcohol. And I never thought that would be a possibility. So I'm just gonna add this little clip in here. Sorry, if the audio is bad, I forgot to have my um mic plugged in. So that audio is going to be a little rough. But I think it's just important. It's only like four minutes long. So thank you guys. Okay, here it goes.
00:15:37
Speaker
So I think those are all like really common like normal occurrences even for typical normal quote unquote trickers. I think where I realized that I had a problem is like I was drinking in high school like daily like we could literally um we would literally like get bottles of vodka and like mix it in with our orange juice and drink before we went to class like the people that the friends group that I was hanging out with. So I was going to school drunk and I was in high school you know you're still like under 18 obviously the drinking age
00:16:14
Speaker
like in the United States is 21, but I lived in East Lake growing up, which is like Chula Vista area, super close to the Tijuana border um to Mexico. And so I literally lived like, it was probably like a 20 minute drive, 15, 20 minute drive. So I started, and I had so many friends that actually had like family members in TJ. and so there was a lot of excuses for us to like go to TJ so I would always go with them like my ex-boyfriend or like my old best friends we would go with their parents to like go visit their family members and then be like okay we're going to the movies and then like go to the bars because like you you can be 18 there is illegal drinking age.
00:16:56
Speaker
and I think we were even going like before we were 18 we would just go to places that would serve us. um And then it's so that was like a very common occurrence and then it was like going out on the weekends in high school like we would go to TJ all the time go clubbing and like go dancing and like it was so fun but then I think that's kind of where it stops for the normal person but like I said like me going to school drunk like that's not a normal like that's not normal for teenagers to go to school drinking or ditching school to like go drink instead or like leaving early and like ditching and going and drinking like in the field by the high school like you know those memes
00:17:37
Speaker
that are like super millennial memes, but it's like, oh, like my mom thought I was like spending the night at Susie's house, but really I was in a field somewhere drinking. Like that was literally like our life, like in high school was just like going to random like fields and places outside and just like drinking. And like, that's not normal. Like it wasn't like a party that we were going to or a celebration. It just became like a very like reoccurring thing. um And then, yeah, it even got so bad to the end of my
00:18:10
Speaker
which we'll get into later, but it it got so bad towards the end of like my drinking that I even started drinking before work. So I would take like the little like mini shots and like drink two while I was getting ready to go to work. And then because I felt like I was a hostess and a server and I felt like, oh, people liked me more when I was like a little like tipsy. like I felt like people would just like thought I was more fun and like bubbly and outgoing. So I would drink a little while I was getting going like getting ready to go to work. And then, and would start crashing and feeling tired so then I would go to the back to my purse and like get two more and like drink two more like two hours into the shift and then oh we're about to close which means um we're all like all the servers and all of us are about to go out like to go to bars so I'm gonna go start pre-gaming and like drink two more shots so it just became like very
00:18:58
Speaker
very toxic and it was something that I was hiding from people like nobody knew that I was doing that and I feel like anytime that there has to be like secrecy or anything that you are like anything that's like really impacting work school relationships anything they feel like you have to hide from people Um, it's obviously, obviously a problem, like when there's secrecy there. And so I think that's when I really knew like, Oh, this is, this is not normal. Like, I don't feel good unless I'm drinking. And it was like, I was always just kind of
00:19:32
Speaker
in that time like working I was going to school working um and working like in the service industry and so like that's pretty much like what the culture is in the service industry is like you go out for drinks after work like you're already getting off so late like usually like midnight we would get off so we would go to like all the different bars into like two and then sometimes I would have to be up to do like a six a.m shift so we would go from the bars at two to someone's house to keep going and like keep drinking and then sometimes I would just never sleep and then I would just go directly to work like drunk still so that's that's really how I know that it became super
00:20:12
Speaker
like super problematic. And I just didn't feel good. Like, I felt like shit all of the time. Like I didn't have any energy. I was had lack of sleep, lack of nutrition. I was not taking care of myself. And it was really old like, like I say, I'm gonna talk about in a second, of like this distractedness of like, just getting to the next time. And it's all I can think about. And it's like all I want to do. And it's like, literally ingrained in every part of my life. And I never thought that there there would ever be a day where I wouldn't drink. I never thought that I would have friends that didn't drink. I never thought I would have a boyfriend and be dating a boyfriend who doesn't drink. I just did not see that in my future for myself.
00:20:52
Speaker
distraction where it's like if you're I was really only living for the I was really only like working and going to school so that I could go out on the weekends or and then it just became like every night like we could go out honestly like every night of the week there was something to do especially living in San Diego it's like there's always like always things to do always bars open always places to go and so it became this thing where it was like I was really only living I was really only surviving inside my body to go out to the next event and to be with my friends and to like be social and and do that. And I think where my soul was getting confused is that, not my soul wasn't getting confused, but my human self was getting confused is like, I was confusing.
00:21:37
Speaker
the drinking with my friends with connection. So what I really was longing for was connection, which I think is what most humans are looking for. Like we don't live in tribes anymore. We're all living separate in our own homes. We're very secluded. A lot of people work from home now. And so people aren't just enmeshed in community anymore. And so it's like, oh, what do we do? We call our friends and see if we want to go get a drink or have like a white night or a girl's night with drinks. And it's just like so common. But I really think, and even like opening up the records I confirmed today, like what we're searching for it has nothing to do with alcohol. It has everything to do with the connection and just like wanting to be with our friends and like laugh and like make memories and have fun and like be vulnerable and share things. like Our inhibitions are down. Typically, we're sharing things that we might not always share. It like it it does like ah lower your
00:22:32
Speaker
It kind of lowers your guard, right? But then we kind of get to the other side of alcohol, which is like, it also really, you can numb your emotions and escape from things in your life, but it also heightens emotions. So for me, it was heightened anxiety, heightened depression, heightened emotional outbreaks. Like I often later on found myself like crying when I was drunk and like highly intoxicated, like ah uncontrollably uncontrollably sobbing, like having these like emotional releases where because I wasn't allowing myself to have any alone time and any introspective time of really getting to know myself at the soul level, I was just constantly
00:23:13
Speaker
with other people and also under the influence that I wasn't processing any of my own emotions. I was burying them very deep within me and then I would drink and then I would have this like emotional outburst where I would just like cry or be super upset or like things would just trigger me so easily. And obviously it's never just like what's actually happening in the moment. It's like the inner root cause triggering something in me that needed to be healed that I just like wasn't looking at. And so I think this is why we can see people become super emotional, like when they're really intoxicated. A lot of people,
00:23:49
Speaker
um yeah, it's like it's like all of these emotions are like flooding to the surface now. And because we no longer kind of like have our guards up of like protecting ourselves and everything is just kind of like spilling up and then it's getting heightened, right? Like everything's very heightened when we're under the influence. um And it's not really productive. Like we're not able to actually process these feelings in like a healthy and safe way. it's on It's usually causes problems or it causes more drama within the friend group or like it embarrasses you. And then the next day you have like that shame and like guilt cycles like all over again. And so yeah, I just found like that I was always kind of living in those patterns. Like I was never really expressing my emotions or spending time alone with myself to get to know myself.
00:24:37
Speaker
when I wasn't drinking. And I really ask i asked the records why is it that alcohol is so prevalent in our society, especially American culture. And one of the reasons why it told me they told me that it was because of a distraction. like It really is used as a distraction to really separate people from their higher selves. like when we're constantly chasing, like when we
00:25:09
Speaker
A lot of people are unhappy in their life. A lot of people are unhappy in their jobs. They don't like their boss. They're unhappy in the work that they're doing. They feel like it's unfulfilling. They're not happy in their relationships. And so what do they do? They just push forward. They just push through and say, oh my God, I just can't wait for the weekend because on the weekend I'm going to let loose. I'm going to drink so much and just like have fun and like let some steam out, right? Like that's how people really deal with stress. And the thing about this is that it keeps us in this perpetual cycle of distraction because you're never taking the time to look at the root cause and and do any reflective work of like, why is it that I don't like my job? Why is it that I'm not happy in my relationship? Why is it I like don't feel good with this friend group anymore? But instead of addressing that, we just, oh, I'm too, like, you know, you get into those situations that are like uncomfortable or awkward.
00:26:04
Speaker
And you're just like, Oh, I'm too sober for this. I'm going to drink more. And then people are just like drinking themselves to death. Right. And so I really, yeah, like they really showed it to me that it was like this, like this cycle of really, um, just really this cycle of like. keeping ourselves from ourselves, keeping ourselves from feeling what we want to feel, from looking at we want what we want to feel, creating the sense of FOMO all of the time. Like when I was drinking, I was always in a sense of fear missing out. If I wasn't invited somewhere or if I saw people, friends somewhere, even if I was sick, you guys, like I can't remember. I mean, I can't even count how many times I was sick with like a really bad cold or like some sinus thing. And instead of staying home and resting and getting better and like feeding myself like nutritious foods and like sleeping,
00:26:53
Speaker
I would push myself and I would go out and I would just like go out that night and come home super intoxicated again not eating properly and then waking up hungover eating all of the crappy foods to try to make myself feel better and like never getting proper sleep and so it's like lack of sleep is one of the hugest reasons why we don't get better or why we feel sick or why we just like don't feel like ourselves, right? Like lack of sleep is crazy. And I was always in a sense of lack of sleep. And I really feel like there's this energy of alcohol that creates that fear of missing out where it's like, you want so badly
00:27:33
Speaker
to be where everybody else is at and you're avoiding where you are. And it creates a sense of like belongingness, especially a lot of us that have like abandonment wounds or like belonging belonging wounds. We don't feel safe to just be with ourselves and to develop that relationship to self or to source. we're also like For me personally, I was very cut off from source. I was very cut off like um from feeling this connection and safety in myself and with spirit to where I felt good to be alone. That that didn't come until much later, probably after like around 28 and definitely in my 30s after I stopped drinking and really like did the spiritual and like healing work on myself.
00:28:13
Speaker
And so I think so many people just feel so lost and so disconnected that it's like, okay, I don't even wanna feel any of that. So to make myself feel better, I'm just gonna do what I always do and just go out and get drinks, right?
Reflections on Sobriety Journey
00:28:26
Speaker
So I really saw that as something that I just always did. um Okay, so what I wanted to talk about now is like, When I was, like I said, I i was looking at this like really beautiful woman's post of how she was like kind of describing her experience, and she was talking about how she drank again um after having two years sober, and she really was experiencing a lot of anxiety and like depression about it, and she thought she could try to like make rules for herself for the last month or moderate, but she realized she couldn't, and so now she is starting over again.
00:29:02
Speaker
And when I was reading like what she was writing, I just wanted to give her the biggest hug and share with her that like we're never starting over. okay So for anyone, if you've ever struggled with this, if you are on the sobriety journey, if you are on the alcohol-free journey, um or whether it's like your fitness journey, your food journey, whatever journey that you're on of like healing yourself, just know that any time that you
00:29:31
Speaker
relapse or whatever, like drink again, right? It's not like those two years that she had completely went away. It's like you can't erase two years from um one night or a month of drinking. She's still living two years of an alcohol free lifestyle. And so I told her that, like, I just want her to know, like, you know, that doesn't erase those two years and you're not completely starting over. it You still have two years that you have been living alcohol free and living a beautiful life, right? And I can experience so this or I can relate so much because I had, um, I was alcohol free for, I believe three years. And then I experienced like drinking again, which was like a very devastating like situation that I had. And then I did another year of living alcohol free. And then I drank again in and the very same exact work situation on a work trip.
00:30:27
Speaker
and had another like devastating fallout from that. And in the time, I was like so sad because I was like, oh my God, like I could have by this time had three, four, five, could have had three, four. Yeah, like I think, yeah, like that would be four years, right? I could have had four years, but now I feel like I'm starting at your like day one again. And that's when I was like, you know what? I'm not doing that to myself. I've been living alcohol free for four years. I'm not gonna start again and say like now I'm alcohol, I'm sober for a day or I'm out like, no, because this whole four years I was not drinking. And because I chose to drink twice on two occasions, like two days out of four years doesn't take away that I was living alcohol free for four years. And so I think that a lot of um
00:31:11
Speaker
there can be a lot of like shame that comes from certain systems or certain schools of thought of like maybe like Alcoholics Anonymous. Like I personally never resonated with Alcoholics Anonymous. I had to go to different classes because they were court ordered when I got in trouble for my drinking and so what I experienced was when I was in those was First of all, it made me want to drink more because people are just like really reminiscing about like the good times. and then also like just I felt so much ah low dense energy of like um and also people would express how they are bitter or jealous towards other normal quote unquote people who can just like drink normally and like they wish they could and so it's just this really like yucky to me okay like and I don't want to offend anybody but just personally a very low vibe frequency that's very disempowering
00:32:08
Speaker
And I think that's where a lot of people get so stuck up. Like, oh my God, I have to start completely over again. It's like, you're not starting over again. You're already living all of those years alcohol free. Like no one can take that away from you. Like you're not, so the clock isn't starting again. It's just, you're choosing a new choice in the moment. And so it really got me reflecting on like, how did I do this? Because why is it that it's not hard for me? And this woman was expressing how like, it's so hard for her. And like, she thinks about it all of the time. And she just wished that like these thoughts would go away. And I was like, I don't feel like that, like ever. I never feel like that. I never think about alcohol. And then I realize you guys, it's because I've made it neutral. Okay. So there was a point in time where on my path, I really demonized alcohol, right? Like I was like, Oh, like alcohol is evil. It's this like horrible poison that's like destructive to everybody.
00:33:01
Speaker
And while yeah, there is some truth to that, like it literally is poison to our bodies, the moment that I actually made it neutral and I was like, it's literally just a freaking substance. Like I can drink it if I want to, but I feel so much better in my body when I don't drink it. I have so much better experiences with my relationships with every part of my life when I don't drink it that I'm just choosing not to. So it was really like creating that neutrality and the thing that I want to give up so bad that allowed me to just like.
00:33:34
Speaker
not want it, like not crave it because what happens that I found personally is like when we try to restrict ourselves from something, right? Like restriction creates this energy dynamic of like more desire. It's like the more that you can't have something, the more that you want it. So like, especially for me, ah if we're looking at food, the more, if I would, was to tell myself like, Oh, you can never eat. I'm never going to eat like in and out again, or I'm never going to eat chick-fil-a again or canes again. It creates this desire, this desire in me so bad where I'm like, Oh my God, I want it so bad. It's all I think about. And now all I'm thinking about is food. And I just can't wait till I can like finally have it again, but Oh, I can never have it again. So then it's like this cycle. That's just like, I'm always thinking about food. And so I think that that's what happens to people too, when they're like restricting alcohol, like, Oh, I'm restricting it. I can never have it again. Instead, it's really reframing of like, girl, you can have a drink if you want, but
00:34:33
Speaker
do you really want it? like What are the implications of you drinking it? And what is that going to do for you in your life? right And so I think about that too. And I know that it is a little bit different with different substances like and addictions, right with different levels of addiction, different substances. It's obviously probably less detrimental for me to be like, oh, I can eat Chick-fil-A and like go eat Chick-fil-A and feel like I've satisfied that craving. Whereas for someone else who is experiencing like alcohol abuse disorder to be like, oh, I can have a drink if I want. And then if they have the drink, it'll probably really send them in a spiral. So I'm not saying like i'm not saying thinking about it think about it in that way and allow yourself to like do the choice of do like partaking, but it's more like reframing it from restricting and just making it more of a choice is a very more uplifting
00:35:32
Speaker
ah way of thinking about it. Even when the other thing that didn't really resonate with alcohols an honest anonymous is like first of all saying oh hello my name is blank and I am an alcoholic. I don't believe in creating this label over yourself, this identity With your words verbally out into the universe, you are saying that about yourself. Our words are so powerful. You're creating a spell. When we speak, we are creating spells with our words and you are creating a spell saying that I am an alcoholic means that I am powerless to this substance. It is putting the substance on a pedestal and saying that that substance is more powerful than me. And I'm always going to be a victim to that substance. And that substance is going to have a hold over me for my whole life.
00:36:19
Speaker
when that is not the case. and my And what I did is I removed that pedestal and I'm like, I'm not a fucking alcoholic. That's why I don't even really like resonating with the words of um sobriety because sometimes even sobriety, the energy, there's like a denseness around that. And for some people, maybe there's a feeling of pride, right? And and that is beautiful. Like it's it's up to the individual. If the word sobriety brings somebody a lot of pride and like um like ah pride and just like um acceptance, understanding,
00:36:52
Speaker
um gratefulness, like really beautiful feelings around that word, then that is perfect. For me, I kind of feel a lot of like lower kind of dense words, where it's again kind of giving this power a away to something else. Where it's like, obviously there was a time in my life where it did have a power over me. Like absolutely, when I start drinking, I cannot stop. It went for like 100% has a power over me. I don't have a normal relationship to alcohol. But I don't feel like that now. I feel like, and I don't feel like that in the terms of like, Oh, I want to test it out. And like, I think I can drink like a normal person again. and Like, no, I don't ever plan on drinking again. But
00:37:38
Speaker
It's really taking away the power from the thing that was controlling us for so long. So I assume the same thing kind of happens like with food. like If somebody is calling themselves a food addict, there is going to be this sense, like this tie, this spell that they're casting over themselves that is like always making them think about food. It's an identity that we're we're taking on and we're
Identity Transformation & Change
00:38:03
Speaker
identifying with. And it's like, no. like I choose to be the identity I like the phrase alcohol free or just like a non drinker like oh I'm just like a non drinker like to me that feels light that feels like there's no ties that feels like there's no backstory um that that just feels like it is what it is like it's neutral it is a neutral thing oh I choose not to drink I'm a non drinker it's an afterthought I never think about it I don't have to try
00:38:27
Speaker
I don't have to try to convince myself not to grab a drink. um I can, I'm not triggered. Like I can be, this is another thing that I think comes later in the journey that I really want to speak on. So for a long time, you guys, I did not put myself in situations where I felt like it would be hard for me. For example, when I was first on my alcohol free journey, I wasn't going to clubs. I wasn't going to bars. I still don't go there because like, why would I, I don't have anything in common. I don't, that's not something that I would like. think is enjoyable or like vibrate with but I sure as heck didn't go during the times where it was still hard for me to not drink where I was still kind of trying to learn who I was and like actually dissect the relationship to alcohol and like why am I even drinking in the first place because it was hard like I said I had tried so many years to stop drinking until it finally something clicked.
00:39:18
Speaker
And so, um, I really think in the beginning of any time that you are going through this process of like letting something go out of your life of really having very high standards and boundaries for yourself and not putting yourself in any situation that would hinder your progress. So like. saying no to the events that your friends and are inviting you to and your families are inviting to you. If a wedding is going to be triggering to you because you used to drink all the time at weddings and you know everybody there is going to be drinking and it's going to be a temptation for you, then don't go to the wedding. like Putting yourself first in whatever journey it is that you're trying to change your life around, do those things and that will really set you up for
00:39:59
Speaker
success because the last thing you want to do is like put yourself in vulnerable situations where you're not really strong enough yet in your core center and we're going to talk about that in a second of how I did that and it's all around identity and like knowing who I am and having confidence in that but that takes like inner work to get to that point so it's really like not a lot like not putting yourself in those situations saying no to people like honestly completely almost like changing your lifestyle and 3 33 on the clock and it even is so painful you guys because a lot of times it also means ah Losing friends like it really does like But if there's something in your life that is really has a hold on you and you really want to change it You need to understand that it is going to require you To become a person that you have never been before and the person that you are becoming is this new identity this new identity is someone who
00:40:59
Speaker
doesn't partake in the things that used to partake in. And guess what? They're probably not going to have the same friends. They're probably not going to enjoy the same activities. They're probably not going to spend their time in the same ways. They're going to handle stress in a different way. They're going to take care of their bodies in a different way. They're going to prioritize different things. They're going to spend their money on different things. Everything really does change and it all comes around the center of identity. And so it is allowing yourself to go through the process of mourning your old self. Because really, you guys, your old self dies. like I do not recognize Alyssa that was seven years ago, five years ago, two years ago, 15, 20 years ago. like The later that I go back, I'm just like, oh my God, like who is she? i'm so like It feels like lifetimes away, you guys. Lifetimes away.
00:41:51
Speaker
but I love her so much and I had to give myself time to like grieve those friendships and like to grieve those things because we really do just start moving in such a different way and it's like it's very hard at first but then it just becomes your normal new normal and everything around you in life becomes so much easier and free and joyful and like you start to know yourself at such a deeper level and like you're unlocking all of these like different higher potential parts of yourself to where like it becomes so worth it. And I also really find like having this really like beautiful, neutral attitude of like never like hating, right? hey like Never hating on old friends that you had or looking down on other people. Never creating the sense of separateness because that only like creates, I feel, like this weird dynamic and this weird
00:42:48
Speaker
um And just like this weirdness, right? It's like, it's really seeing everything from a compassionate, loving place of like, Oh my God, like thank you having gratitude for the old friends that you had because you guys had so many good times. And I'm sure you've also had like some difficult, challenging, toxic times, but like it there were still some good times and it was necessary for you to become the person that you are now. So just like having love and gratitude for those people, even though you're not going to hang out with them anymore or spend any time with them, but it's really is just having this like beautiful,
00:43:20
Speaker
almost like cutting the cords and letting them go with love so that there's no weird cord connection between you guys anymore. There's no weird like discord animosity. You don't want to have any ill will feelings towards people because we really want to take full accountability for ourselves in whatever situation we ultimately put ourselves in, right? So I realized that that was really helpful. It was just like, okay, you can love people from far away and you can still send them love and wish them well, but you just probably don't spend a lot of time with them anymore because you guys just have different interests and different things going on, right?
00:43:57
Speaker
and then um
00:44:01
Speaker
Yeah. And so this, okay. So this is such a great point. So it brings me back to the woman that I was, that I'm following. So she was talking to you guys and walking us through how she relapsed in the first place. So she was sober for two years. And then she said that her friend showed up on her doorstep, um, that she hasn't seen in four years unexpectedly one night and her friend was really high. Okay. I don't know if she was under the, like, I don't know if she was high on like weed or like high on other drugs, but she was really high and she had alcohol with her. And she said, the woman said that she felt so uncomfortable in that situation. She hadn't seen this this friend for four years. She's introverted. She she doesn't like people enroaching encroaching on her space, but she just felt like she had to let her in.
00:44:45
Speaker
she felt so uneasy in her energy, like her energy body could feel this, her old friend, like very high, that she felt like she was like, okay, fuck it, I'm just gonna drink to like match her energy. So she drank with her to like try to match her energy. And then she ended up drinking like, I think she said like eight drinks. So she was like no longer moderating, right? And um I think this actually, I think this isn't the time that she, this isn't the first time she realized I think she had been drinking for a month and then this happened. And then yeah, so she had set those rules for herself. I'm never going to drink at home. I'm never going to have more than like two drinks a night. This, this old friend showed up on her doorstep. Hi, she let her in. They were catching up and she started drinking with her, breaking all of the rules that she set for herself, drinking at home, drinking more than two drinks.
00:45:32
Speaker
She felt so sick afterwards, so much anxiety. She said that she literally had so much insomnia, she couldn't sleep, that she felt like her body was like on fire, that her heart, like palpitations, chest pain um was so uncomfortable. She felt like she was dying. She felt like the alcohol, her body was rejecting the alcohol. um she and And just like reading her words, I can relate so much because that's exactly how I felt, you guys. when I would drink, like my body was rejecting it, like almost allergic to it. And so what really stood out to me in that and her share was that she had been sober for two years, right? But she obviously, and I can relate because it this happened to me with my sobriety of two years and then drinking at a work trip. Over those two years, she never created those deep boundaries and standards for herself, right? For example,
00:46:28
Speaker
If an old friend was to show up on my doorstep right now that was high, someone that I haven't seen in four years, like I'm not letting them into my house. like i am there's There's absolutely no way that I'm inviting them into my house. um i First of all, wouldn't I also don't like when people would just like show up on my
Handling Triggers & Relapse
00:46:47
Speaker
doorstep. I feel like that's really a breach of um respect. and I also wouldn't engage with somebody who is high. Like whether they're, again, I don't know if she was just like smoking weed or like on other drugs, but I wouldn't engage with them. And then also I wouldn't feel the need to, I absolutely would not entertain like drinking with them if I was already sober now as my person now. But that's because I have done the inner work you guys to create those strong boundaries for myself. But what happens is when we go so long without this certain substance,
00:47:25
Speaker
without doing the internal work, things like this happen. And then we very easily can fall back on our old habits because it's like that neural pathway is there in our brain where it's like, oh my God, this is uncomfortable. I've been really secluding myself from everything. I haven't been in this situation in two years. Now this is the first time I'm dealing with it. It's so uncomfortable. What do I do when I'm uncomfortable? I drink. And so I think that's what really happened to her. And I can relate because when I told you that I was sober for two years. And then I went to a work event. um And I was so uncomfortable in the social anxiety those two years. I didn't hang out with anybody. Like I only hang out with my boyfriend. I only went to work and I only went to school. I wasn't socializing with anybody. So I wasn't building any social. um I wasn't building any social like
00:48:12
Speaker
behaviors. I didn't know how to socialize with people. Like I still had social anxiety. It doesn't just go away when you stop drinking. And so I threw myself into a very social event. I was away from all of my support system. Um, I was away in Las Vegas and I was so uncomfortable that I drank because that was the first easiest thing to do was to just get rid of this uncomfortable social anxiety feeling. What do I usually do in that situation? The neural pathway is still there. And so I drink alcohol to like feel better. And then that just set me off into like a huge horrible shit that like
00:48:46
Speaker
Yeah, just like a horrible breakup and so many bad things happen from that. Whereas I realize now is because even though I wasn't drinking for two years, I wasn't doing any of the internal work to realize or figure out how am I going to handle situations without alcohol? Because we really, it is ah it's a learning process. You have to relearn how to be yourself. like You have to relearn how to show up in different situations. You can't just isolate yourself forever, which I feel like is important to do in the beginning. Don't put yourself in uncomfortable situations, which I definitely didn't do, but then I never like practice. What am I going to do when I'm in an uncomfortable situation? So I think that can like really backfire. um So I relate to her stories so much. And then again, like for that whole year of being sober again, I kind of did some internal work and kind of looked at my relationship of alcohol, but not really. So when that same exact work trip happened again, you guys,
00:49:43
Speaker
That same neural pathway was there and it was the only one that was strengthened because I i never practiced being in a social setting. Like sober with other drunk people outside of my car like support system. And so I just did, I just drink again. And some people can think that that's so crazy. Like, Oh my God, why would you do that again? You just, you gotten broken up with the last time that you did that. You, your life completely kind of like fell apart. You realize again that alcohol is so bad for you. Don't mix with alcohol. You know, you cannot drink. Why would you do that again? And it's because it's those neural pathways. It's like, whatever we think about.
00:50:20
Speaker
however we behave, we're like strengthening that in our brain. And so that's why the inner work is so important. And so from there, once that happened again, I was like, okay, this is never happening again. I actually did all of that was like 2020. I did all of the internal work since then. I've been doing, you guys know, like all of the spiritual work, all the tools that I've learned um for like reprogramming myself and just getting to know myself at like such a soul deep level, like the growth that I've had, from like 2020 to 2024. It's just insane. Like I'm a completely different person. Again, like unrecognizable. And if I was ever in that situation again, where it's a work trip, everyone's drinking, I feel so confident that I don't need alcohol and that I will be fine because I've developed the skills, the tools. I know myself. I know why that was happening to me. It's really having this awareness piece of like, why are these things happening to us? And so
00:51:16
Speaker
I also commented to that woman that you know there was probably just something else that your soul needed to learn in this time. and You didn't lose the two years. You know you have this beautiful recognition that your like body is literally rejecting alcohol. It's like you're literally ah allergic to it. and so those are all things that you needed to learn on your journey. And now you're just going to start again, like start again a new day, not because you have to, not because alcohol is evil. Um, you know, it's because you just literally feel like shit when you drink and your life is so much better when you don't. And so it's making that conscious choice of like, Oh, I choose to not drink. And again, once you start again today, you've still been living alcohol free for two years. You're just continue on. And now you're going to learn new things about yourself. Now you're going to start,
00:52:02
Speaker
really doing the deep inner work of like, oh my God, like why was I doing this? Like what programs was I running off of? What beliefs was I running off of? And I think that's one of the biggest lessons that I've learned is like actually having this understanding of the beliefs that I had around alcohol. such as, oh, Alyssa is so much more fun and funny when she drinks. She's so much more social. She's so much more outgoing. She's so cool. She's so hilarious. like She's like, everyone wants to be around her. She's the life of the party. um She's so pretty. She's so confident. She's so brave. like right like Those are all the beliefs that I had of what alcohol can do for me. And so it wasn't until I actually shifted those beliefs, I'm like, oh my God, like
00:52:48
Speaker
The alcohol is not doing that for me, okay? Alcohol is creating way more anxiety in my body, way more depression. I feel like shit way more when I drink and I really started to like really look at that and like why am I, why am I externalizing or giving away my power, my inner confidence? Why is it that I feel like I need a substance to feel cool, to feel pretty, to feel funny, to feel lively, and doing all of that inner work and really getting to know myself at such a so deep level? I think that
00:53:22
Speaker
understanding how my energy body works through human design was so helpful. Um, learning my jean keys and learning my patterns and like, Oh my God, why am I doing the same thing over and over and over again? And like stuck in this like shadow loop and then learning how to alchemize it into the gift. Like that helped me so much. And really creating this new identity for myself, you guys of like, I'm just not a drinker and life is so fun and so cool without alcohol. Like I literally like alcohol and I'm like, uh, it's like neutral. actually like a more lean towards like, you couldn't pay me to drink because of how bad I'm going to feel like I feel like my body is on fire. um And that last like 2020 when I tried to like drink, even just drinking like a beer or like a michelada, like I would feel like literal, like with one sip instant heartburn,
00:54:15
Speaker
instant anxiety, heart palpitations, I literally think that my body is allergic to alcohol. And looking back so many times, I used to feel so shit from just drinking like a few sips to drinks. So like, I would purposely drink so much to try to like, get over the feeling of being sick, so I can start having fun. So I literally think that I have like, there's this one gene um that a lot of Asian people have that this happens to them, um where Like it makes them, their their body doesn't process the alcohol properly and so it leaves their like skin very flush and like they get very nauseous and like um heartburn, heart palpitations and it feels really horrible.
New Identity & Social Impact
00:54:58
Speaker
um and so I was researching that that's why a lot of Asian culture doesn't drink because alcohol just does not sit well with them. And I think I have that cheater, like something related to that because I feel sick, like sickening. the The hangovers that I got you guys, I was out for like two days, like couldn't go to work, couldn't get out of bed, vomiting all day, like horrible migraines. It's just like it is out of this world. And I legit, every time I get sick in real life, like from like the flu or something, it's so bad but it's nothing compared to how I used to feel hungover because the but alcohol was just like wrecking my body.
00:55:36
Speaker
um I wouldn't wish it on anybody. and so anyways um yeah It's just like really like developing this new belief system about myself and this new identity. and so I'm so strong now in the identity of who I am, and it's just like so not a part of my life and it's so neutral that I never think about it, you guys. like and i I'm never like triggered by it. I don't get upset when my friends drink. I have plenty of friends, plenty of girlfriends that drink, proud plenty of um family members that drink, And I'm like, Oh my God, cool. Like I would never want to try to convince people that drinking is bad for you. Like I think it's a very personal choice. Like I do believe that alcohol is poison and it's not great for any human body, but it's everyone's choice. And there are normal people out there, quote unquote, normal who can like normally drink and like have drinks and like have a good time. And it if it's not affecting their life in a negative way, more power to them. I just know that that's not me. And so.
00:56:32
Speaker
When I got to this place, it's like, oh, like um I even have fun with like, oh, my mom and my brother. like Sometimes I'm like, they get so excited to like have a beer or a wine. I'm like, oh, I'll be the DD. you know like Just little things like that. like It makes it so fun. And like um I love going to dinner, and like people can still have drinks around me. And it's just like, it's so normal, and it doesn't bother me at all. And I think that's a really beautiful place to live, because I didn't want to live in a place where I hated it, because I did live in there i live in that place for a little bit where I hated it. I looked down on people who drank. Um, I just had a really negative outlook on it. And honestly, that did not do anything for me except harbor more low vibrational feelings. Like, it's like, who cares? Like who people can do whatever they want to do. It is not affecting me. It's just, I know that it doesn't feel good to me. And
00:57:19
Speaker
It's, it's funny because there was this point in my journey where, um, you know, after getting my spiritual life coaching certification, I really, really, really, well, actually I think it was right before I got, I think it was right before I went to Dharma coaching Institute. I, um, I did a sober girls guide, um, coaching training. And so I became a sober girls guide coach for the beautiful Jessica Dubrow, her community. And I loved it so much and I really thought that it was part of my like journey and my destiny since I did have such an issue and I overcame this growing up. I thought that I was here to really help people on their alcohol like sobriety journeys. And so I was a sobriety coach for a while and I just started to, I tried to build a lot of offers around sobriety coaching.
00:58:03
Speaker
but I just quickly found that I couldn't relate anymore to people who were like pretty early on in their sobriety journey or having trouble just like not drinking day to day. because my identity had shifted so much and I was just a non-drinker now, like it was so easy to me. and You guys, I honestly forgot what it felt like to struggle with it. And so I had such a hard time putting myself in their shoes and like remembering like, why is it so hard to drink? Because to me it wasn't hard. It wasn't, it was just a choice. And then I kind of started getting this weird, like, kind of like this weird, like, like thought of like, oh my God, like maybe, um,
00:58:47
Speaker
like, yeah, this sort of like, oh, I don't think I'm actually supposed to help people in this area of life. And like, what I really wanted to talk about more was like, um, future potentials, right? Like future potentials, new beliefs, new identity, being your highest self, spirituality, chakras, like all of the spiritual stuff. And I realized that some the people that I was directly helping in those support groups were people that were more like just now stopping alcohol or like trying to stop drinking. And so if I'm trying to talk about chakras, that's not helping anybody who needs help and not drinking tonight, right? And so I felt just like an a misalignment. And so it was really hard for me, but I decided to step back and to um no longer do the sobriety coaching.
00:59:32
Speaker
Um, which for like a while I felt like, Oh my God, like, but isn't this part of my
Shift to Spiritual Empowerment
00:59:37
Speaker
destiny? Like, I feel like I'm supposed to help them, but I, cause I can, but I just realized it wasn't lighting me up anymore. And so that's something that I love as like human design is like, Oh, like follow follow your generator urges. Like what lights me up? What lights me up is like. helping people and create their most empowered dream life through spirituality and getting to know themselves at the soul level. And that comes a little later on. When when you're when you're not so stuck in like trying to fight for your life and not drink today, you know once you already like have that under control and now you're just kind of like in the process of learning about yourself and like opening your eyes up to like
01:00:13
Speaker
why did you used to drink like this? And like, you know, you, you're looking for more reflective introspective stuff. It's not so much dire in the moment. so Um, then I feel like that's where I can really come in and help with like human design and jinkies and like learning about the self, kind of like looking back at our lives and why we act in certain ways and how we can like really create this like new identity for ourselves. And so that's what I'm like really more interested in. And so for a long time, I actually like stopped talking about my alcohol free journey. I didn't really want to like, share about it or I just like was really focusing more on like purpose and like sole purpose but honestly I've realized you guys that it is a huge part of my journey and so like why wouldn't I talk about it if it's something that I've overcame and it's something that I struggled with so badly like I had so many issues from alcohol so many abusive toxic um really like codependent relationships I've gotten in and so much in trouble for drinking um
01:01:12
Speaker
you
Integrating Sobriety in Teachings
01:01:13
Speaker
know, drinking under the influence or driving under the influence, stealing, stealing alcohol, skinny dipping, like so many just like crazy stories that I have of just getting in a lot of trouble and then also just feeling a lot of depression and letting like ex-boyfriends treat me very, very poorly and just having like no no way to really stand up for myself or no idea of what my worth was that I just allowed things to happen and life was just happening to me, not for me. And so now I'm like, I really want to like reading that woman's post and seeing her still suffering even after two years where I'm like, Oh my God, I can't believe that. Like, yeah, like people do, people are on the alc are on sobriety journey, but are still suffering. I'm like, why is that? And it's, I think because of identity work and all of these like,
01:02:04
Speaker
Yeah, just like tools that we can use to actually heal each other and ourselves. And so I do want to kind of bring that more into what I share and what I teach. And so I'm really excited. I'm really excited to create some hypnosis is some guided meditations around anyone that is on the path of like wanting to stop drinking alcohol. There's so many like nuanced things that comes up of like loot like really um like losing friendships or um feeling like you're alone now, feeling like you're crazy or really mourning your old life and having to learn how to meet new people and just like so many things that come up or like how to just live differently and so I really want to incorporate that into my teachings and so I'm definitely going to be coming up with something like that but
01:02:50
Speaker
Again, even if you can't relate, even if you have a totally normal relationship to alcohol, or maybe you're just like a non-drinker and it's so easy for you, or if you can relate, just think about something else in your life that was so hard for you to overcome. and I want you to think about how like now it's so easy for you and think about how like what is your identity around that thing. right and It's probably because your identity is completely different. like You're just like not that anymore. and probably the thing that was so hard for you to stop doing, you see it as neutral now, right? Like we go through phases of like seeing it as evil, seeing it as like the worst thing ever, but once we neutralize it, it takes away any of that stickiness and it just is. And then we have so much compassion for other people that are doing it. Like there's that stage where we you look down on other people for doing it. And then we come to this stage where we're like, Oh my God, like to each their own, like everyone's going through their own journey. We're all just doing the best we can.
01:03:43
Speaker
I'm going to continue with what's doing good for me, but I'm not going to judge somebody else for like doing what they need to do to cope and to feel okay. Like they're just at a different part in their journey. And so you probably have felt that on different, whatever you have overcome in your life, right? so Yeah, i think it just come I think it's just such a beautiful place we can get to where we don't like look down on it anymore or we don't judge it. Because I
Spiritual Perspective on Alcohol
01:04:06
Speaker
don't want to be the person that is like, it's not my sole purpose to teach the world that alcohol is bad. like Alcohol is poison. like Even though I really think it is and a lot of the things I learned from the Akashic Records you guys are mind blowing about. like I asked, like what is the spirit of alcoholic? What does it look like? And the things that it told me is just like pretty crazy.
01:04:26
Speaker
um If you're interested in those kind of more nuanced questions, let me know. i would love like I don't want to just share it because I don't know if anybody's interested, but um if you're interested in like why is it the alcohol affects different humans differently? um What is like addiction from a spiritual lens? um Describe the spirit of alcohol. What does it look like? What is it doing? Why does America have such a big drinking culture? Why is it that AA works for some people, but for some people it doesn't? um What is happening spiritually when somebody relapses? Why do people have symptoms of like feeling like they're allergic to alcohol? like Are they more sensitive in general? What does alcohol do to the aura? How long does it take for alcohol to get out of the system?
01:05:14
Speaker
Um, yeah, if you're interested in me of those questions, or if you want me to do a podcast on that, I totally will just send me a DM on Instagram. I am Melissa May. Um, and yeah, if this, if you resonated at all with this podcast episode, please send me a DM. Let me know, girl. Maybe you know somebody who suffers from alcohol abuse disorder or maybe, yeah, I don't know. There's so many different ways that this can affect us. It affects all of us in some way, shape, or form. like Alcohol is super prevalent in our society. But I just know that um I just want to send a message of hope that you can be free from the chains of alcohol. like You don't have to give it a second thought.
01:05:55
Speaker
It can just be there. You can coexist with it. Just like we can coexist with every type of food. if If food used to trigger you, you can coexist with every type of food. You can coexist with anything that triggers us. It's really coming to this neutral place and just like of acceptance and like, okay, different identity. We're on a different timeline and it becomes so easy. It doesn't have to be a struggle. Okay.
Masterclass Promotion & Conclusion
01:06:17
Speaker
So that is it. I hope you have the most beautiful weekend, and I will see you guys next time. Oh, also, sorry, announcement. You guys, next Sunday, I am doing my jinkies masterclass, which is piecing together the activation sequence in the jinkies. So I'm going to be teaching you all about how to read your jinkies profile. I'm going to be talking, like, breaking down, like, where do the jinkies come from? What is it made of? Like, how do the foundations of it actually fit together?
01:06:46
Speaker
um And then we're going to break down each of the four spheres of activation of the activation sequence, so your life's work. Evolution, which is like the biggest lesson your soul is here to learn. Radiance, which is how you're supposed to be healthy and radiant and vital. And purpose, who you are here to be in this lifetime. And I'm going to break down the six lines of each sphere. So you're going to understand exactly how your energy expresses through those areas of life. It's going to be so much fun. It's only $55. I'll put the link in the show notes. It's going to be through Zoom next Sunday, July 14th. 3 p.m. PST and they're July 14th PST 3 p.m. PST and there will be a replay available So don't worry if you can't make it live you can always catch the replay It'll be so much fun. This is like the first of like my series of three I'm gonna be doing the Venus sequence and then the pearl sequence after as well and I highly suggest doing all three in order It's gonna help you so much in your own personal contemplations. Okay, so that is it I hope you have such a beautiful week girl, and I will see you next time Bye. Bye
01:07:53
Speaker
Thank you so much for being here and listening beauty. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to leave a review and share the episode with a friend who you know will love it. We can connect further on Instagram at I am Alyssa Mae. So come say hello, leave a comment of your favorite takeaway on my most recent post and I cannot wait to connect. Thank you so much and I will see you next time.