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44. My Experience with Social Anxiety through a Human Design Lens, HD Centers, Types, How to Thrive in Social Situations
28 Plays1 year ago
Hi friend welcome to this episode!
I used to suffer from extreme social anxiety during my teenage and twenties years and used alcohol as a coping mechanism to just feel okay to exist in my body.
In this episode I look at social anxiety through a Human Design lense and the mechanics of our energetic body. I go through the different centers in my body graph and draw connections to how the not self or shadow parts of my design were contributing to my anxiety.
I also go through each energetic Type and explain the aura and why someone may be feeling socially anxious.
My hope is that this brings awareness to you, whether looking back at your life in hindsight or if you're currently struggling, I hope this brings some awareness and better understanding of why you feel the way you feel and validate that you are not crazy or broken!
I share why environment is so important to our health and wellbeing.
If you'd like to dive deeper and get guidance on your unique energy and solutions to feel better in social situations you can book a Human Design Reading with me: https://calendly.com/byellisamccoy
Let's connect: www.instagram.com/iamellisamae
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Transcript
Introduction to Spirituality and Personal Growth
00:00:00
ellisamccoy1
If you are on the sole purpose path, if you're obsessed with spirituality, you're obsessed with personal growth and development, you love getting to know yourself, maybe you love human design, maybe you love astrology, then this video is for you. So today I'm going to be talking all about how we can really use our human design to understand ourselves, understand how our energy mechanically works through our body so that we can actually heal things like social anxiety, like using substances to doesn
Living Alcohol-Free: A Personal Journey
00:00:31
ellisamccoy1
Make us feel okay in certain situations and Yeah, I think it's gonna be so juicy so where this all stemmed from is I have been on the alcohol free journey for about seven years for seven years I have lived an alcohol free lifestyle and My life is completely different than where it was Seven to ten years ago. So I'm 34 years old now and um I, when I was younger, I lived totally out of alignment. So teenage years, young twenties, college life, I lived totally out of alignment. I was disconnected from my purpose. I was disconnected from
Social Anxiety and Coping Mechanisms
00:01:10
ellisamccoy1
source. I was really disconnected from having a relationship with myself and understanding myself at all. And so what that looks like is I was still a social person. I still had friends. I still did social things, but I really relied on external
00:01:29
ellisamccoy1
things external coping mechanisms to make me feel okay. So I had extreme social anxiety and was very uncomfortable in large groups, um even in like, even in smaller social settings, like um at small parties or, you know, going with a friend who invited another friend that I didn't know, like that would make me feel very uncomfortable and have anxiety. And so what I did and what many many people do in this country is I used every excuse to be an excuse to drink alcohol. So I love to party. I love to drink. It was it was beyond just having fun. It was literally a way for me to feel okay in my body and to feel safe enough to be in
00:02:11
ellisamccoy1
these
Insights from Human Design
00:02:13
ellisamccoy1
situations. It was a way for me to turn off those constant, um those kind the constant negative self-talk, the constant um stories I was making up about myself, about how I didn't fit in, how nobody liked me, how I wasn't pretty enough, how I wasn't acting, how I should be acting, how I'm not even worth being in this situation, right? And so I developed a very strong pattern of using alcohol to help me in these situations. And living on this alcohol-free lifestyle now for seven years, and doing extensive studies and experiments on my own human design for the past couple of years, I've really learned a few key parts of my design personally that I think played into these patterns. And so I want to talk about those today.
00:03:00
ellisamccoy1
And if you are someone who you know your human design or not, there are so many free resources that you can use to pull up your body graph to maybe see if you also have some of these things going on mechanically in your body. And if not, you can always book a reading with me. I would love to go through
Managing Social Anxiety in Present-Day Scenarios
00:03:19
ellisamccoy1
human design um and just give you African energy alignment and let you know how your energy works so that you can start shifting things and actually create a life and a reality where You love to exist and where you're existing in your own frequency and you're not trying to change yourself or fit into what society wants you to do.
00:03:40
ellisamccoy1
because that's what we do so often. So this all the reason I want to talk about this is I just went to a lunch with my mom this week yesterday. I went to a work lunch with her it was like a benefit lunch ah to really celebrate all of the donors who have donated to their the non-for-profit that she works at. And When she invited me, I was like, oh yeah, for sure. like I would love to go. I was already thinking about the food. I was like, oh, sign me up, girl. like Let me know what the menu is. I was so excited to pick my food. um I didn't think about at all any anything that would make me feel anxious until right about until we were about to walk in. And I was like, oh my god. like
00:04:18
ellisamccoy1
I actually am like, I'm the type of person that needs to know all the details. Like, okay, who am I sitting by? Are we sitting at a table? Is this like, is there like a cocktail hour? Are we supposed supposed to be standing up and talking to people? Are we like mingling? Are we just like listening to a presentation, listening to a speaker? Like what's the vibe? Because I can't go in there blind, right? um Especially from someone who is like a recovered social anxiety person. I still get those things that come up. I just now have tools of how to help me deal with it. so She wasn't super helpful because she didn't really know how it was going to be. She kind of gave me the best idea that she could. And so I went into it a little nervous, but I was like, you know what? Like no matter what, I don't have to carry any
00:05:05
ellisamccoy1
conversation. I don't have to do anything that I don't want to do. I don't have to be anything other than just simply breathing and existing as myself. That is one thing when I really struggled with social anxiety is that I always felt like I had to turn it on and like my mask would come on and I would have to be a certain way, be a certain liveliness, you know, be a certain like charismatic person. If no one was talking, I had to leave the conversation. I felt a lot of pressure to be somebody completely different than who I am, to pretend to care about small talk, to pretend to engage with people. And I'm like, really, like, I don't give a fuck, right? Like, I don't care. I'm a Capricorn Selium, Virgo Rising. It's like, I don't do small talk and I don't care about
00:05:51
ellisamccoy1
the weather, right? And so it's taking me a long time to learn how to unmask that and not fall back into those traps. Five to five on the clock. Um, so we went to this lunch and what I instantly realized is that, so I went in, got my name tag. We said hi to a few people that we knew and then we sat down at the table. which was empty, no one was there yet. So we sat down at the table and then other people started to sit down. And as they would try to engage a small talk with me, I was just very nice, polite, I would like talk back with them. But then I noticed that I didn't find myself.
00:06:25
ellisamccoy1
overly speaking or searching for stories or questions come up with to keep the conversation going. Like when it went silent I legit let it went like I let it go silent and that's something that has been impossible for me in the past. Like there's no way it would let it go silent. Everyone was drinking wine so the server came around was passing out wine to everybody. I asked for a diet coke and I just allowed myself to like just exist literally i was like wait i don't have to talk i don't have to conversate i can just smile be polite and just look around so i literally was just looking around i was observing my mom was sitting right next to me she was talking to someone on her other side i wasn't like overly in their conversation because i really didn't care where in the past i would have probably pretended to care just to like look like i'm
00:07:13
ellisamccoy1
in the conversation, what what I experience is that it's almost a feeling like everybody is staring at me. Like all of the eyes are on me. And if I'm not constantly talking or doing something, then I feel like I must look weird. If you can relate to that.
Communication Styles in Human Design
00:07:29
ellisamccoy1
If you're someone with social anxiety, don't you feel or i just do you feel? Have you ever felt like you're in this whether you're like at a dinner or at some some place and you feel like everyone is just staring at you and it's like super awkward if like everyone else around you is talking and you're just there it's like it's so awkward right but what I realized is like it's actually not awkward because the people that are having conversations around us are literally having conversations around us like nobody is looking at us you might find like the one-off person like across the room who's also like you just like sitting there and observing and maybe you'll smile at them or glance up and it's like they're just existing too and like there's no pressure and it actually takes a lot of pressure off myself. So this is the first tip in human design. I have an undefined throat center. So our throat center is an energy hub for communication, right? Communication, manifestation, it's all about
00:08:20
ellisamccoy1
um using our voice speaking like the energy wants to go here so that it can express itself if you have an undefined or open throat center like me and your body graph your human-designed body graph it is going to be white it won't be colored in and this just means that we don't produce our own energy here so we have a varied style of communication sometimes we're going to speak a certain way sometimes we're going to speak ah different way we're really like chameleons and we're able to really change our style of speaking depending on who we're in front of so it's actually a huge chef's kiss gift okay if you have this throat center colored in that means it is defined and you produce your own energy here so you have a very consistent way of speaking
00:09:08
ellisamccoy1
depending on where this throat center is connected to, like what center it is connected to in your body graph, um, that creates a channel, which is a huge gift of yours. And you're really going to be speaking, you're going to be really great at speaking about whatever energy center it is connected to. So for example, If your throat center is connected to your ego center or your heart center, then you're really here to speak about things that really light you up, things that you're like really passionate about, things that you want to do. it's a very like
00:09:42
ellisamccoy1
um Doing energy like you have the willpower to just do things and get things done if it is connected to your G Center Which is all about identity self-love direction then you're somebody who knows who the fuck you are like you're here to Speak about your identity your directions in life. You have so much self-love. You're here to really share that self-love if it's connected to the Ashna Center, then you're really here to speak about, but that's really like about processing ideas that come in through the Head Center. So you're really here to like speak about the process, the ways that you process information, ideas, thoughts. And yes, so anyways, if you're someone like me who has the Undefined Throw Center, there is a
00:10:29
ellisamccoy1
there can be a need to, when we're in our not self theme, which is going to be like kind of the shadow aspect of this and like not being ourselves, there is a need to fill up space. There is this feeling, this pressure to speak and to be heard and to get attention. And like, we don't want to be invisible. So we're going to talk just to talk. Like, even if it doesn't add anything to a conversation, we sometimes have issues with having like proper, um, with having like proper communications with others. And so it can lead to like interrupting, um like interrupting others, bursting into others, over speaking over people. And these are always that it manifests as its shadow.
00:11:15
ellisamccoy1
The thing that we're here to learn, you guys, is how to be okay with silence. So what I learned in this lunch, I allowed myself the whole lunch to literally not talk. Like I was like, that was very hard for me, okay? Like I said, if we have this undefined throat center, we feel the pressure to talk, girl, okay? Like we feel like we need to talk. But if I don't have anything to say, then maybe I just shouldn't speak. It's all about finding the correct timing to share something. So when somebody would ask me a question, I would answer. I genuinely didn't have anything that I wanted to ask anybody, so I didn't talk. What I did instead was listen, and there were some very fascinating, interesting people at this lunch, and they were sharing so much. like You can tell they're very extroverted. They love talking. They love talking about themselves. They they have things that they want to speak about. They're passionate about it. they They weren't just talking to fill the space. They genuinely wanted to develop connection. They were asking people questions about themselves and
Alone Time and Emotional Centers
00:12:08
ellisamccoy1
really trying to create deep connections. And so I was listening to these two men speak and I was like, Oh my God, like I learned so much about them. I learned so much about the frickin, um,
00:12:23
ellisamccoy1
insurance industry i learned so much about their podcast that they have right like that's not even about insurance like it's like it's just so cool when we allow ourselves with undefined throats to if we don't have anything to say just listen just exist and let other people speak and it was so beautiful like i felt like wow i was really myself i wasn't forcing myself to say anything i was just being an observer and i was okay with like holding myself you know allowing myself to just be there and take up space and be worthy of not having to speak so if that is something that you struggle with and especially
00:12:59
ellisamccoy1
And you're someone who struggles with social anxiety and you feel this pressure, like you need to always be on and like speaking and carrying the conversation. You probably have an undefined throat center. And so you feel that pressure, but allow yourself to just be and listen and know that it's okay. And you can actually learn so much about other people just from listening. Another part um of my human design is this, I am a two-four profile. So the two is the hermit, right? And the four is the opportunist. So it's kind of like a little contradictory, but it's basically like I, as a two, at love my alone time, right? Like I recharge alone. I'm naturally gifted. I am so good. I can't even really explain how I am so gifted at certain things that just come naturally to me.
00:13:44
ellisamccoy1
But those are the things I'm really here to do. Like I often get called out for my gifts. I'm here to really share those with the world. But with that being said, I have these spurts of like just wanting to be alone and really like loving my alone time. Whereas The four in my profile is opportunities. It's the networker. It's the heart chakra. It's the person who loves connections and building connections with people and like heartfelt connections. That's why small talk is impossible for me. Like if I'm not really getting to know you and if you're just telling me that you're fine when really you're not and my psychic abilities can tell that you're lying and that you just
00:14:23
ellisamccoy1
are Okay with being honest like it's just uncomfortable and it's not fulfilling and so I really like that for loves connection and deep connection and so This can also be a reason why you may feel social anxiety especially if you're in big groups if you have a four in your profile because you long for those connections and if you're just with too many people and there's no way for you to really like have connection or like speak with somebody, it can feel unfulfilling. And then it's just kind of like, what's the point, especially if everyone's just talking about small talk or about things that you're not interested in, it can feel very disconnected.
00:15:00
ellisamccoy1
and Another ah thing about my design is I have an undefined head and ajna center. So the head center is um associated with the crown chakra and this is where we really people that have this defined they create their own energy here they really have like they are thought leaders they create their own thoughts right they have this like divine wisdom divine inspiration they have their own thoughts when we have this undefined like me we don't produce our own energy here so we're literally taking in and amplifying the thoughts of everybody around us so that means that
00:15:43
ellisamccoy1
I can hear and literally especially depending on how in tune you are with your psychic gifts like everybody has the potential to be psychic like we're all psychic we're all spirits it's just about cultivating the gifts and seeing like what senses are stronger for you but for me um I really have the gift of the um my gosh I always forget which one is called of the knowing of just like the claire it's one of the claires but it's where it's like not clear sentence. That's like a feeling I think but
00:16:15
ellisamccoy1
clear cognizant. So I just know things and I can literally read people's minds. So if you get me in a room of a ton of people, I can read the minds of people. I can know when people are uncomfortable. I can know when people are lying. I can know when people have different intentions, whether that's bad intentions or not. And so it can be extremely overwhelming in big groups of people. And so that causes a lot of social anxiety. It's also like an overwhelm of thoughts. It's just like a kind of like, for I don't know if the word's frenetic, but it's like a chaotic feeling almost because it's like, I'm so open to the thoughts of other people. I'm anticipating what other people need. I'm trying to answer other people's questions. And it's really like de-centering myself. And it's it's really taking on everybody else's stuff and feeling like, oh, I have to be the one that like, is answering questions that nobody's asking, or that has nothing to do with me, or it's making people feel good and like feel okay when it's like, that is not my responsibility. you know like My responsibility is to just exist, and I can just exist here and be okay with that. that is That's what happens in the deconition deconditioning process when we're learning how to just be okay with ourselves.
00:17:25
ellisamccoy1
And I would have never known any of this until I learned human design and had awareness of how my energy works. The next place I'm gonna move us to is the emotional solar plexus. So your emotional solar plexus is related to the solar plexus chakra. And this is all about emotions. Okay, so I had this undefined. So this means that I, if I'm by myself in my own space completely, i I'm connected to anybody else's energetic aura. i My energy is pretty even. like it's It's pretty good like even, right? I don't have extreme highs, I don't have extreme lows. Of course, I'm gonna feel feelings when life happens, but I'm pretty much just like pretty even. When I get into the presence of other people and our auras, our energetic fields around us is communicating with each other, even if we're not speaking, our energy is intertwining with each other and it's communicating with each other.
00:18:19
ellisamccoy1
I feel other people's emotions. So people who have the defined emotional soilx solar plexus, if you have this defined, um it's a beautiful gift as well. you have an energy, you have an emotional wave. And so you are someone who feels your emotions, right? You're gonna feel emotional highs, you're gonna feel emotional lows. And it's really all about not creating a story or creating a reason for why you feel this. It's just you feel emotions. And so if I'm around emotional beings as an unemotional being, I am taking in and amplifying their emotions. So it's feelings, it's like that clear sentience. it's like
00:19:01
ellisamccoy1
Feeling I'm pretty sure that's the clarity that it is So I'm feeling other people's stuff and even if it's stuff that they're not talking about even if it's stuff that they're unconscious of If it's stuff that they're trying to hide from other people if it's die if it's very present if it's obvious whatever it is I'm feeling it and I'm amplifying it times 1000 so as non-emotional beings, it's not that we don't feel feelings. If we're in the aura and we're interacting with other people, again, even if it's not verbally, we are amplifying how they feel. That is overwhelming as fuck. It's like, no wonder if I didn't know this about myself.
00:19:39
ellisamccoy1
And I was always partying, always with a ton of people, socially drinking. I really consider myself a social drinker. I love being around others, that four line, but I was feeling all of their stuff. And so it's like, of course I'm going to want to binge drink and drink even more because I am so uncomfortable with feeling these feelings. I do not want to feel these feelings. So I want to drink as much as I can to black out and not feel these feelings, to numb out that we can look when it comes to social anxiety is if we really think about our thoughts, our mindsets, when we're about to go into a social place. And it's like, what are the thoughts that we're thinking about ourselves?
Self-Worth and Human Design
00:20:18
ellisamccoy1
So for me, I used to feel a lot of inner dialogue and inner monologue of like, I'm not worthy. Like I truly believed that my own friends
00:20:28
ellisamccoy1
did not like me like i truly believe that they hated me that they didn't want me there that really also i can attribute to like the cycles of like overdoing it with alcohol because it's like when i would binge drink and black out i would a lot of times become a different person and like forget the things that i said forget the things that i did and so i was in that cycle of shame and so even if i didn't do anything mean or embarrassing or bad I didn't remember and so I created those own thoughts about myself and so this we can also look to to really to really
00:21:06
ellisamccoy1
First of all, for self-love and direction, we can look at the G Center. so I actually have mine defined. okay so I actually have my G Center defined, which means I usually, typically if I'm in alignment, will have a pretty clear direction in life. like I know who I am, I know where I'm going, and I have self-love, a lot of self-love. That was not the case when I was very much out of alignment. so What that can look like is feeling like too much. So I often felt like I was too much for other people. um We can also look at the heart center, the ego center, if we want to look at worthiness. That really brings up a lot of issues of like worthiness. So whether you have, wherever wherever you have your ego slash heart center, either colored and defined or not,
00:21:52
ellisamccoy1
Either way, it doesn't really matter if it's defined or not. When we're living out of alignment, we're going to feel like shit and we're going to be expressing the not self theme of it. Like we can still express the not self themes of it, even if it's defined. So for me, it really looked like. feeling unworthy, feeling like I didn't belong there, feeling like I needed to do something or provide something just to be in this this space with my friends. um And it was a really horrible feeling, like it it's a horrible feeling to feel like
00:22:24
ellisamccoy1
Nobody likes you and that everybody secretly hates you and has like these conversations about you behind them They're back with whether that was going on or not. I don't know. It's not like it was like proven to me it's more of a it's more of an internal thing like when you're in when you're in that kind of like victim mindset and you feel like everybody's out to get you and like Everybody doesn't like you again. It doesn't help to be blacked out a lot of the times and like not remember the situations that you were in because it's like, obviously then we, our mind is just gonna make up whatever the hell it wants to make up. So those are really the places that I would kind of start to look at if you're experiencing social anxiety or if you've experienced it in the past and this is a way to now kind of like get to know yourself even better. Like even if you're on the alcohol free journey, like maybe you don't drink anymore and you used to be like a really big party person, you can look back on your life and reflect and really see like, oh wow,
00:23:17
ellisamccoy1
these are that These are the certain ways that my energy moves through my system, and I can see where if I'm in like expressing it in the not-self theme of not being myself, feeling so out of alignment, these are some of the things that can really come up. um Another place that we can really look at when it comes to social anxiety is like, what is your human design type? Super basic. What is your type? And when we say type in human design, we're talking about aura type. So again, it's that energetic field that is surrounding us. That is like our energetic signature. It's like who we are. It is this energy field around us. So if you're a generator, right? Generators are
00:24:00
ellisamccoy1
open and enveloping. So our auras are open and enveloping and almost like hugs the other person around us. It kind of pulls them in. So if you're in a crowded space with a lot of generators and the generators aren't the happiest people, they're not the most aligned people. They're not the most um accepting people. They're not the most open-minded people. They're not the most diverse people. They're not the most
00:24:30
ellisamccoy1
Positive people they can be en enveloping and hugging you with like a shit hug like a piece of shit Shit ass feeling that like you're like, you'll get the fuck away from me like it does not feel good So and again, it's whether you're talking to this person or not. That's just what our energy does. That's what our auras do so if and and Generators manifesting generators included because they're both the generator type. They have the Define Safe Girl and they have the same ora type so it's going to feel like you're being hugged and embraced by all of these different energies and if they're not good energies it's going to feel like shit so where are you going do you have social anxiety because you're going to a really overcrowded popular place of
Embracing High-Frequency Environments
00:25:13
ellisamccoy1
people who might not be feeling their best, like it's like where are you going that you're feeling this social anxiety, right? um The next step we can look at, however, okay, reversely, if you go somewhere where it's like very high five and it's very high frequency, and people really want to be there and like the people are healthy and they're open-minded and they're like friendly and it's like exciting and it's in its generators who are lit up and they're like passionate and it can even be like a music festival where they're so excited to listen to the music and then vibes herself again. It can feel like you're getting hugged by like a million hugs of like
00:25:47
ellisamccoy1
Fuck yeah, like fuck yeah, passionate. Like we're so excited to be here. We're all connecting over like this artist and like, oh my God, this is like the fun side of my life. And like the energy feels so good. And so like, even if you're not a generator, you're in that sacral energy. And that's probably why people love being at music festivals where they're connecting with like-minded people who love the same artists. Like everyone's singing the song and like the vibes are so good. And it feels like you're in that sacral lit up energy. And so, It's very important to really think about your environment, where you're going, who you're going with, why are you going, as to work to work on your social anxiety.
00:26:25
ellisamccoy1
Now, if we look at another energy type, so we talked about gen generators, manifesting generators are gonna be the same. It's like an open and enveloping aura. um Let's talk about manifestors. So just straight up manifestors alone, they have a closed and repelling aura. And so this is done on purpose, okay? Because manifestors are like, Manifesters are cool as hell. Manifesters are these bold initiators. like They are the initiators of the world. They're here to change things. They are the rebels. They are the rule breakers. They're here to be like, fuck you. like I don't care.
00:27:00
ellisamccoy1
about your rules, I'm gonna do my own thing. And so their aura type was designed very specifically to bump up against other people. It's gonna feel like you're kind of like bumping, they repel you, you're bumping up against them and like it's like, okay, it might not feel that good. But the reason is is because they can't be open, energetically open to everybody and be able to like carry out this divine mission that they have to change the world and to like be themselves and like be these rebels. so if you have social anxiety and maybe you are a manifestor, right? And you're going to these places and you just kind of feel like people aren't really like opening up to you and you feel like people are kind of closed off to you and like maybe you're getting reactions that you don't like and it's like at an energetic level. It's, it might not even be at a verbal level. It's because people are bound, like they're being repelled off your aura and
00:27:55
ellisamccoy1
this can be difficult, right? Like this can be a difficult thing to experience. But once you know this about yourself and you're like, oh my God, like this is why I'm experiencing this. This is why I'm experiencing people kind of like, you know, like maybe having a difficult time connecting with my energy or just kind of being like, pushed away from me and you understand that that's why nothing's wrong with you. It's so freeing. And then also know that
00:28:26
ellisamccoy1
you're going to attract and be open to people that are meant to be in your field. So it's actually very beautiful because you can like bypass all the people that are not for you and you can actually be like, oh, thank you. Thank you for pushing that person away from me. They were not meant for me. that I don't want them to waste my time. And I'm going to be a drawn and, you know, matched to people who really are for me, like who are my people. And I have like, um, Katie Irving like my human design teacher is a two-four manifestor and I fucking love her like I love her energy I want to be in it like she does not repel me at all like there's nothing about her that repels me I'm i'm like give me more of her I want to learn from her but she has a very unique special energy and some people are not gonna like it and it's going to bounce off and like Repel a lot of people that are not for her that are not here to learn from her that are not here to be her students They're not here to be in relationships with her friends with her, right?
00:29:19
ellisamccoy1
And that keeps her in so much alignment because it saves her energy for the people who are actually here to vibe with her and learn from her and be with her, right? So that's a beautiful example. um so So if you are feeling that from people, like if you're not a manifestor, but you're feeling that from other people that are probably manifestors, that can create some social anxiety because you feel like you're kind of being like, like they're kind of like, I don't fuck with you. That's so good to know because then it's like, okay, cool. I don't fuck with you either. Like we don't want to waste our time.
00:29:51
ellisamccoy1
trying to get validated and approval from people that are not matches for us right like not everybody's gonna like us and that's just how energy works like there is a resonance there is a like energy is so beautiful because it's like a soul resonance that people feel with each other And you're going to feel that with the people that you're meant to vibe with, that are meant to bring value to, that you're meant to bring value to, like for whatever super, super short exchange it can be, or for a long period of time, whatever season in life it is. So knowing this about ourselves is so freeing, because then it's like, okay, I'm no longer trying to get approval from this bitch.
00:30:26
ellisamccoy1
in my office who's like so rude and like our vibes are never on point and I feel repelled by her all the time it's like instead of trying to suck up to that and have anxiety around that anxiety around going to the office because I'm like oh my god like her or him energy is just so yucky and like so repelling it's like oh I'm probably just being repelled from them for a reason like there's nothing that we we don't need to create this relationship that doesn't need to exist, right? It's like, oh, okay.
Understanding Energy Types and Social Anxiety
00:30:55
ellisamccoy1
And then they can save themselves for the people who are supposed to be interacting with them. Um, and again, that's just assuming like, if they're, that's just assuming their time. Now let's move on to projectors. So projectors energies is also beautiful. So projectors, your energy is penetrating. So your aura is like, it,
00:31:18
ellisamccoy1
It is very strong and penetrating. It can go in and see, it can cut through all of the layers of somebody and like see directly into their soul and see what they need, see what's wrong, see what's going on. It's like a bird's eye view of what's going on. So this energy can be very intense. so you may have experienced social anxiety because there may have been situations where like you wanted to go really deep with somebody and like they were like no like they were like repulsed by that or like people oftentimes oftentimes people if they're not ready to see something in them themselves and if you're someone who's just like
00:31:57
ellisamccoy1
pulling it out of them and like mirroring like you know showing them this or you know like going straight to the core and seeing them so deeply where they don't see themselves yet it can be uncomfortable and so that's why it's very important for projectors to really follow their strategy of waiting for the invitation like You can see what someone needs to do and give them the best advice in the world, like literally A1 class advice. But if they're not asking for it, they're not going to be grateful for it. They're actually going to be turned off by it. And then it's going to leave you bitter because you're only trying to help them and share this like beautiful genius insight that you have. But it wasn't taken well. And so that leaves me feeling bitter. And so that can create social anxiety if you've experienced that over and over again with different people. And so it's really understanding like, oh my God, like,
00:32:42
ellisamccoy1
having awareness of your type helps you go into all social settings and know like, okay, just because I can see what's going on here, I'm not gonna interject my advice unless this person is asking for it. And there's implied invitations as well. like its It doesn't have to be a formal invitation of like, oh, I want you to, like here is your invitation to do whatever you want with me. It's not like that, it can be implied, Invitations which we can get into in another video when we talk all about the types but just for like social anxiety purposes if you're ah If you are a projector or for somebody who has been in the field of projectors who have been like see you cutting deep to your core and it's so uncomfortable and so it gives you anxiety like maybe you've had um maybe you've had like a coach before who was a projector and
00:33:34
ellisamccoy1
or actually this isn't a great example because with the coach is kind of like implied invitation so say it was just like a friend and you there was something about you that you didn't want to talk about or you weren't comfortable yet bringing it to light and this person saw so deeply into you and tried to call you out on it or like pull it out of you because maybe their projector way saw it and they were just trying to help but it wasn't like wanted and so now you might feel this like uncomfortable a comfortableness around certain people or certain friends or certain family members because they can just see things in you that you don't want them to see or you don't like that. And so that can create social anxiety, right? So it's just knowing that about yourself or about other people. Some people have the ability to do that and like how to create very strong boundaries. If we move on to the next type of reflectors. So reflectors are, their aura type is completely open.
00:34:26
ellisamccoy1
And it is a sampling aura. So what it does is it goes into different environments and it samples the aura, the energy fields of other people and it's like, hmm, how does this feel? Okay, no, like I don't like that. Or like, hmm, how does this feel? Okay, yeah, I like that. So it samples and it reflects back the aura and the environment of people around it, right? And so environment is so motherfucking important if you're a reflector. Because if you're around people who are sick, if you're around people who are toxic, if you're around people who are negative, if you're around people who are gossipy, who are complaining, who are
00:35:03
ellisamccoy1
um and their victim consciousness all of the time. You're going to be amplifying that and it's not going to feel good. So you want to make sure that you're really around and in environments with people who are very uplifting, who are expansive, who are positive, who are um heart like I almost said hardworking. Hardworking has nothing to do with it, but people who are aspirational, people who are moving forward, those are the type of environments and people you want to be around. You probably feel social anxiety when you go somewhere that does not feel good. Like when you go to an environment where it just feels off and you're like, ew, this feels bad. I don't know what how to describe it, but the vibes feel off here. I feel drained. I feel tired. I feel sick. I feel angry. like All the bad vibes.
00:35:49
ellisamccoy1
you It's because you're taking in and amplifying the energies around you. Now get into a big situation. We're talking about thousands and thousands of people. That's a lot of energy that you're taking in and sampling. So it's very important for you to go to the events and put yourself in the places that you love with people that are like-minded and that feel good. and then also just have an awareness around it. Sometimes, you guys, we're gonna have to go places that we don't wanna go, okay? We're gonna have to go to the DMV from time to time. We're gonna have to maybe go to jury duty. We're gonna have to...
00:36:23
ellisamccoy1
go to the dentist. That can be stressful for some people. We're going to have to do things that aren't always high vibe and with our like-minded people. But knowing these things about yourself and the way that your energy body works and the way that other people's auras work is going to give you so much awareness and insight as to why the hell you feel the way you feel. So you're no longer feeling crazy. You're no longer feeling anxious about it. you can be prepared, you can suit up, you can be ready to go into the world. And I'm actually gonna be dropping a really freaking powerful protection meditation that I want you guys to be able to use anytime you're about to go somewhere that might have caused you social anxiety in the past. So whether it's like you're going somewhere really exciting, that's like a music festival or someone's birthday party or a concert, somewhere that you're really excited about, but you tend to get anxious,
00:37:14
ellisamccoy1
Or if it's going somewhere that you don't want to go necessarily, like DMV, dentist, doctor's office, court, places like that, they're a little more low vibe. I'm going to do this meditation for you so you can listen to it before you go. And it's going to help you protect your energy so that you suit up and you're good
Upcoming Tools for Energy Protection
00:37:32
ellisamccoy1
to go. And we do not have to worry about social anxiety. We're protecting our energy. We understand how our energy works. It all starts with awareness, which is where I hope you got so much from this video. and If you would like to learn more about your specific type, anything about your human design, anything that you're struggling with, if you're struggling at the office with certain people, if you are having patterns with um dating the same people over and over again, if you're having friendship issues, if you're having issues with anxiety, going places, having fun in your business, on the purpose path, anywhere that you feel like you can use some help and some more understanding and awareness of your specific
00:38:11
ellisamccoy1
human design and how your energy body works. I would absolutely love to do a human design reading for you. Right now, I actually just updated all of my readings. um For those of you that but have been with me in the podcast previously, um I had switched scheduling systems, but I'm back to Calendly. I freaking love it, back to my OG. I'm gonna have way more reading options, very specific, juicy as reading options for Jane Keys, Akashic Records and Human Design. But i would for the purpose of this video, if you love this, if you want to learn more, get a human design reading. It's intuitive. It doesn't matter your level of knowledge. You can know absolutely nothing about human design. Never heard of it. Or you can have studied it, experimented with it, but just want somebody else's insight to look at your chart. Sign up for that. If you want Akashic Records guidance on
00:39:05
ellisamccoy1
past lives, present lives, future potentials, where I tap into your Akashic Records and I channel your higher self, your spirit guides, your spirit team, light workers, ascended masters. And we really ask questions of like, what is the root cause of this um social anxiety? If it's something you're really looking to heal moving forward. Booking Akashic Records reading, um everything's going to be in the show notes and Yeah, and if we're not connected yet, come hang out with me on Instagram. I am Alyssa May. That is where I'm going to be like chatting with you guys in the inbox. You can talk to me anytime. And yeah, and if you love this episode, please subscribe and stay tuned for future videos and
00:39:48
ellisamccoy1
Also, very last announcement, if you love this this podcast, this episode, this video, this channel, please, please, please rate and review. It would mean the world to me and it helps this information just get out to more people. So, all right, thank you guys. I will see you next week. by Bye-bye.