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51. Difference between therapy and coaching, how to know when you're ready to hire a coach
17 Plays3 months ago
Hello babes!
This week I talk about the difference between therapy and coaching, how to know when you're ready to hire a coach, how Human Design, Gene Keys and mentorship can help you on your Purpose path!
Let's connect: www.instagram.com/iamellisamae
Work with me: www.stan.store/byellisamccoy
I hope you have the best week!
xx,
Ellisa
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Transcript
Podcast Introduction and Host's Week
00:00:01
ellisamccoy1
Hello, hello, my friend. Welcome back to the It's Happening for Me podcast. I am so excited that you are with me today. So first of all, I hope you're having a beautiful week. I hope that you had a great weekend. I had such a... such a really juicy weekend. I really allowed myself to just like relax and like watch a lot of summer house and I helped my mom do a lot of stuff around her house. um And yeah, I feel like it was
Gardening Experience and Reflections
00:00:34
ellisamccoy1
like a mixture of both. I low-key almost got heat
00:00:37
ellisamccoy1
I wouldn't say like heat um exhaustion but like or heat poisoning, maybe sun poisoning on Saturday morning because I helped my mom garden her succulents and right now in Southern California it's like legit 90 degrees out and so I think I went over there around like noon which is like the hottest time of the day and I was in direct sunlight. I had like a little gardener's hat on but is it did not help girl. um I think I was only out there for like an hour and I got so freaking overheated. But like one thing about me, and I know this is like for sure because of my human design, one thing about me is I have an undefined root center, so it really is this pressure to like hurry up and like just want to get things done. And so I could have gone inside at any point and like taken a break and like put on sunscreen once I get water, but I have this like internal drive in me that's like, no, like I just need to like hurry up.
00:01:33
ellisamccoy1
I'm not stopping until I'm done and so I even like swept everything once I was done and I was like I can reward myself later. um And I was really tapping into my sacral energy too because it was really fun like honestly it was super satisfying to like remove all the leaves and like cut cut the little plants and stuff so that was super fun. But I did get like major like some sort of like heat issue afterwards like my face and my arms like my face was completely discolored like so red and then also had these like white splotches and then I took a shower and it was like I used like freezing cold water and was just like letting it run over my face for like 10 minutes which felt so good.
00:02:16
ellisamccoy1
um But yeah, it was super satisfying. I realized that I really love gardening, especially like succulents, because there's no way you can really like mess it up. So that was
Feng Shui and Family Time
00:02:26
ellisamccoy1
super fun. And then and also it's like my mom has this like love section in her backyard in Feng Shui. And so it is the north if you ever want to create a love section for yourself like in your backyard or wherever I live in an apartment so we don't have a yard but I could definitely put it somewhere in my house, but essentially it is on the north facing wall of her backyard is the love area. So she has like a really cute little statue that symbolizes, it's like, it symbolizes like this masculine figure, like holding up like a feminine energy.
00:03:01
ellisamccoy1
And then like little seashells from the ocean and just like super cute. So like calling in abundance in the love area. So that was
Culinary Adventures in San Diego
00:03:08
ellisamccoy1
super fun. And then we went to try out a new sandwich place. Um, I mean, it's not new, but it's new to us and it was so bomb. So if you live in San Diego, you have to try Rubicon deli. Tell me if you've tried it before because it was ah so good. They make their own bread. And so we got one, we we both got one and like shared it. So one was a jalapeno cheddar bread, and then the other one was the Dutch crunch. But anyways, super good. And then today it was just like really relaxing. I'm watching a new show on Hulu um below the bridge, so super good like crime show. I was kind of binging it all day today, so I think I only have like one more episode left, but super good.
00:03:50
ellisamccoy1
um So yeah, that's where I'm at.
Therapists vs. Coaches: What's the Difference?
00:03:54
ellisamccoy1
But today what I really wanted to talk to you guys about and actually took notes on this like two days ago because I was like feeling really inspired to really talk about this. So I want to talk to you about the difference between a therapist and a coach and kind of like the key differences between what they do for you, how they work and when to know when to hire which one. Um, I think this is super helpful, especially because you are on the sole purpose path if you listen to this podcast girl. And I know that you are really obsessed with just like learning more about yourself and wanting to.
00:04:30
ellisamccoy1
Yeah, they create a life on your terms, a life of your idea of success and feel good and feel peaceful and successful and satisfied and have great relationships. And so I think it's really cool to just like know what the difference between them is and how they can help you. And they can both help you actually like working in tandem um to get to the places that you want to go and to just feel good and and really live a life that you love. so First of all, I, so I, my last year in college stayed an extra year and took like all of my psych prereqs because I actually wanted to get my master's in um psychology. I wanted to do marriage and family counseling and become a licensed therapist. So I stayed an extra year. I did like all of my like undergrad prereqs for that, um, for the master's program. But then, and I got A's and like all of my classes, I was obsessed. Like I love.
00:05:26
ellisamccoy1
psychology. I love human behavior. I love understanding like why do we do the things we do? Like what is our like what is behind our thinking and how can we actually like change our behaviors? And I was really like, I've been I've been wanting to do that and be in that field like for so long since I can remember because I am just like so interested in relationship dynamics and like finding love and like having healthy relationships. I think too because my past, ooh, $5.55 on the clock. I think too because of my past experiences with being in such, like having such toxic relationships in my young 20s and teenage years. um So much codependency in like romantic relationships and friendships and just really, really feeling to the depths of me.
00:06:18
ellisamccoy1
like what it feels like to like not be long. And I can also look to human design to like really point out a lot of these things within me. I can also look to my jean keys to like see my shadows. But anyways, it's just something that I feel like I am so happy where I'm at now with the relationships in my life. And it feels so good where I've come. And so that was something that I just felt like would be really interesting and a really cool career to have. So I got like really obsessed with it and I started watching different people YouTube videos of marriage and family counselors like sharing their experience with like school and like their practices and I got kind of like disillusioned if that's the word because I really just remember people that I really like looked up to that
00:07:06
ellisamccoy1
like really knew their shit like they talked a lot about how it takes so long to get license like it is a lot of schooling I had already been in college for 10 years you guys because it took me like literally 10 years to really hone in on what I want my major to be because I was just like so out of alignment for so many years and like dropping classes and not really like focusing until the end And so, and switching between majors and majors. So I was like, okay, do I really want to do that much more school? And then another thing is that
00:07:37
ellisamccoy1
the pay, like they do not get paid a lot. And a lot of times you have to work for free and do like externships, you know, to obviously get practice, which makes so much sense. But it's just like financially, they were struggling, like a lot of people. And so that also kind of made me be like, okay. And then the other thing is that like, you know, there's so many laws and regulations because obviously it is regulated like the in um Yeah, like therapists is a regulated industry, which it should be, right? I also think coaching should be, but we'll get into that in a second. But because there's so many different like regulations and like laws, like you can't talk about your own personal experience, you know, like there's a very strict way that you have relationships with your clients. And like, you're not openly talking about your past experiences and really relating to them, right? And so that's something I was like,
00:08:30
ellisamccoy1
that I wouldn't love that you know like I feel like I've been through so much so so so many experiences in my life that I feel like I didn't go through in them in vain I feel like I'm here to like really be able to relate to people on a very deep level because I have been through so many different experiences so that also really was like I don't love that you really can't
00:08:54
ellisamccoy1
be vulnerable and like share experiences when it's relevant, you know, and even in coaching, obviously you're not going to always be sharing about your own personal life, but I really love the direction I went in and building my business and building a personal brand where it is all about my life and my past experiences, like having this podcast, sharing everything that I've shared with you guys, you know, like and I continue to share. It's such a different vibe from having to be so professional and so corporate.
The Journey to Becoming a Life Coach
00:09:23
ellisamccoy1
in more of the therapist route to being able to just like be yourself and create your own rules in the coaching route. So I remember I okay, so I was the president of the
00:09:36
ellisamccoy1
entrepreneurship club at CSUB, Cal State Bakersfield. And I remember talking to my advisor, he was like the advisor of the club and one of my professors. And I was telling him how he was like, okay, what would like, what do you want to do after college? Like, what would you want to be if like, you could be anything and there were no nothing holding you back. And I was like, I want to be a frickin life coach. And he was like, okay, but how are you going to set yourself apart? Like what kind of life coach? Like there's so many coaches out there. It's a very like saturated industry. It's so hard to like put yourself out there. So like what kind of coach? And I just remember thinking like, I don't know, but I love like spirituality. And like, this is when I just was like, learning about the chakras and like Ayurveda and like finding all of the like things that I really loved. And so I was like, I don't know, but I just like can somehow see this working. And this was back in like 2018. This is before,
00:10:30
ellisamccoy1
I took my life coaching certification or anything. And so he, he kind of, I kind of felt disillusioned again because I kind of felt like he kind of discouraged me from pursuing that or like he couldn't really see it for me just because he like wasn't super familiar with the industry or couldn't see him for himself. and um I'm also going to talk about that in a little bit too about why it's so helpful to have a coach because they're literally trained to help you see the highest potential for yourself and it will never make you become disillusioned, right? Like maybe obviously they'll help you be realistic about things, but they will never like... there What's so cool about coaching is like
00:11:17
ellisamccoy1
they see the highest potential for you and whatever you want to do. And they leave that entirely up to you to decide what is it that you want to do. And all they're there to do is to help you get to that goal, which we'll get to in a second. So, and this was just a professor. This wasn't even my own family that was kind of talking me out of it. This wasn't anybody like close to me, which can have a way bigger effect on us and a hold on us when we are really excited to pursue something. But we're getting these quote unquote reality checks or what they think is reality checks from our friends and family when really they're just projecting their own fears onto us because they haven't seen it done. So they don't see how it's possible for us. So anyways, that's how I kind of like knew from that conversation. I always look back and I'm like, okay, I always, I knew at that point that I was going to be a life coach of some kind, but I just had no idea how it was going to work out. Absolutely no idea. And that was back in 2018.
00:12:12
ellisamccoy1
So I continued working. That's when I, the year that I graduated college, I was 28 years old and I continued working at the job that I was in at the time, which is in automotive industry as a service center manager, um which was super stressful. And then I stayed there throughout the pandemic. The pandemic happened. That's when I got the most stressed out in my life, the most overworked, the most, um, really the most
00:12:42
ellisamccoy1
like run down because when everybody else was forced to stay at home and to really retreat inwards and huddle this like newfound free time I was working more than ever because we were considered an essential business. And so we stayed open. We never closed and we had to furlough and let team members go because we were just so unsure of like what was going to happen with the business. So we were working extra hours and we actually became extra busy for all of the drivers on the road who still needed their oil change, right? Because they were essential workers and living in Bakersfield, it is a very big
00:13:21
ellisamccoy1
There's a big population of like trucks. like We serviced a lot of like pickup trucks, um just a lot of people that worked like in the fields. and so and Obviously, as you can imagine, like we had a lot of fleets that we did because a lot of people with trucks are considered essential workers. Anyways, we were we were like massively growing at that time with not enough help and so that made us have to work even longer hours even harder than it was like the bakersfield summers which is like over 100 degree weather working on cars outside that's under the hood is over 200 degrees it was horrible and so it was a lot of stress um we had to wear full ppe so like nitrile gloves and masks um from the moment we clocked in till we clocked out so that's like 12 hour days working outside with a mask okay like not being able to breathe
00:14:11
ellisamccoy1
in the heat, 100 degree weather. It was absolutely horrible. And um I just remember thinking like, this is and not what ah where I want my life to be at.
Career Shift During the Pandemic
00:14:25
ellisamccoy1
I was making a lot of money. I was successful in terms of like a career on paper because I had grown and had so many promotions within the company. I was on my way to grow into even a higher management position. But it was like, first of all, I don't give a shit about cars. Like I've never been a car girl. My parents, my dad never, my dad's not a car guy. He never taught me anything about cars growing up. There's no like sentimental.
00:14:49
ellisamccoy1
connection to cars, right? Like, it's just something I fell into. It was dirty. I'm a real girl's girl, so very girly. So like, I didn't like being dirty and sweaty all the time. And I also didn't like managing a group of very young men, majority of men, I always hired females when I had the chance, like, but majority of young men who were just in a part of their lives where like they basically just wanted to like party and work and make money. So it's like dealing with like hungover young men.
00:15:25
ellisamccoy1
It was just a lot. It was like I was not aligned. Okay, so I was not aligned. So I ended up getting my moving back to San Diego with George, still working in the same job, but a different place, same company, same same title, different store in San Diego. And then I ended up manifesting my job in an office position in the same company where I became the admin for our VP of operations. So I basically had a paint cut. I had absolutely no more growth opportunities. There's literally no like upward mobility in that position, but I just knew that I needed to do that so I could focus on growing my business. So I did that a year later. I took my life coaching certification, which was in 2021 to 2022. Um, I went through the Dharma coaching Institute with Sahara Rose and it was like the best decision I've ever made. And so I became a certified life coach and, um,
00:16:22
ellisamccoy1
specifically a certified spiritual life coach, Dharma coach, someone who helps people find their purpose. And on the side, I was also taking so many other certifications, right? Like I took my mindfulness meditation certification through Dharma Moon, where I learned how to teach people how to meditate, mindful medicine mindfulness meditation, which was incredible. i got my I went through mediumship classes. I became a certified sober girls guide coach. So I was learning a lot of things and taking a lot of certifications to see all in things that I was obsessed with, all in all in things that I was very passionate about and like super excited about.
00:17:10
ellisamccoy1
so what I really love about coaching and I'm going to tell you about the difference between
Therapy vs. Coaching: Distinct Roles
00:17:16
ellisamccoy1
both of them. And then I'll tell you where I really fell into like my passions and how this can all help you in finding your purpose. So I, the main difference between therapy and coaching is therapy is there to help you heal your traumas and to help you in life, right? To help you have better interpersonal relationships, to help you
00:17:42
ellisamccoy1
heal things you know they specialize in mental health issues so like if you have anxiety or depression or more serious mental health um problems that you need help with that is what a licensed therapist helps you with and the majority of their work is looking at your past so they're looking at your past and they're helping you learn how to heal from the past Okay. And they're helping you with coping mechanisms and tools to like live a better life. Right. And to feel good. And so therapy is incredible. And I recommend therapy for everybody. Like literally everybody can benefit from seeing a therapist. What a coach does is a coach is someone who helps you attain a certain goal that you want and they are forward thinking. So.
00:18:33
ellisamccoy1
Coaches, we don't look at the past. Of course, like things can come up, traumas can come up, but we're not focusing on the past. We're not focusing on your traumas. We are focusing on the future and helping you basically fill in the gap between where you are right now and where you want to go. So say you have a goal. say you want to find your purpose okay perfect so a sole purpose coach like me is going to say okay we are going to help you find your purpose so say over here is your purpose and then you're here right now is where you're at you have no idea what your purpose is um maybe you are very unhappy in your job and maybe you're unhappy in your relationships and you feel stressed out a lot your energy levels are
00:19:16
ellisamccoy1
really feeling like run down, you feel burnt out and tired all of the time. You're just not excited for life anymore. You maybe feel like you're not reaching your highest potential. And so it's like, okay, I help you bridge the gap from feeling like that to getting over here knowing exactly what your sole purpose is, having clarity and confidence to pursue the things that you actually want to pursue in this life so that you start living a passionate life so that you start living in a way where you wake up excited for every day because you know that you're living in your fullest expression and we work through all of the things that can come up that can hold you back from living that new purpose, right? Which can be like the fear of what your family and friends think or for people from high school might think of you or the fear that
00:20:02
ellisamccoy1
worthiness fears, worthiness blocks that you're not good enough to achieve this thing, you know, whatever those things are that are getting in the way of you living the life that you actually really want to live. So that is the main difference is therapists are helping you heal the past, they're looking at the past, they're helping you heal traumas, they're helping you do healing work, Your coaches are forward looking, they're helping you bridge the gap between where you are right now and where you want to go. And so they they're there to help you be accountable to hold you accountable to give you guidance to give you encouragement to help you shift the way that you think about things right.
00:20:42
ellisamccoy1
and so a coach And this is why it's so powerful to work with a coach. A coach is always going to hold you at your highest self. A coach can see your potential, especially when you add in like spiritual modalities, which is why, um, I highly recommend working with a coach who like also includes spiritual modalities, right? And I'll get to that in a second, the difference in like what to really look for when you're deciding like who you want to work with. But a coach is going to help you see that because they're helping you bridge the gap from where you are right now to where you need to go, there's a lot of things that go into healing. There's mindset, right? like There is looking at your beliefs and changing your subconscious beliefs about yourself. ah The programs I've been running on since zero to seven years old that were instilled from your
00:21:39
ellisamccoy1
caretakers, your like society, television, entertainment, all of those ideas that you have around money, and what it means to make a lot of money. and Do you think that rich people are gross? Do you think that rich people are bad? Do you think that it takes a lot of work to make a lot of money? Like it's really identifying like those whatever your current beliefs are, and then just reprogramming your beliefs to new ones that are supportive, right? Because it's literally impossible you guys to move on and to be this like new version of yourself when your subconscious mind is not on board. Because no matter how hard you try to change at the behavioral level, if your subconscious mind is not also like looked at and and helped to be reprogrammed, you're going to revert back to your old old patterns um and habits 100% all of the time. Because that is just how the brain chemistry works, right?
00:22:34
ellisamccoy1
That's just how it works. And it's nobody's fault, but that is why like New Year's resolutions don't stick. That is why. If you try to like go to the gym, say you want to like work on your fitness goals, and so your your fitness coach is like, okay, you want to go to the gym at 5am, put out your shoes before like you know the night before, put out your outfit, set your alarm, and then you should be good to go. like That might work for a week. That wouldn't even work for me for two days. Because you're going when your alarm goes off, you're going to go back to those neural pathways that are telling you
00:23:06
ellisamccoy1
just hits news like we can do this tomorrow let's start tomorrow right and so it's it's change doesn't happen at the behavioral level change happens at the identity level which we'll also get into so anyways that is like a huge difference between therapy and coaching therapy also is i think therapy is like a necessity for a lot of people and it can help people like get out of surviving to actual living. right like If you have anxiety, depression, some like a more serious health issue mental health issue going on, it is so important to see a therapist because there's no way that you can thrive in life and actually start living your purpose if you're not even able to
00:23:56
ellisamccoy1
like live a normal life. You know, like people who are ah really suffering mentally, they really need that help and that that help to deal with those traumas and to heal those things so that they get to a safe place where then they can actually think about, oh, how can I actually thrive in this life? Right. So that's more like that's when, you know, life is really like if you if your mental health um is really affecting you going to work and your day to day life making money your relationships, um, anything like that. A therapist is so, so helpful because they will literally guide you out of that, out of a dark place and get to a place where you feel good again. And then you can start thinking about how to really build a life of your dreams. Like that is like the first step. Then I see a coach as a coach is honestly, you guys not a necessity. A coach is a,
00:24:52
ellisamccoy1
desire. It is a privilege. It is like something extra that if you invest in, it will a million times help you get to where you want to go faster. You don't need a coach. You can do anything on your own. You can literally do anything on your own. You can learn anything on your own. There are so many YouTube videos out there. to literally learn or do anything you want. If you want to start a podcast, you can learn how to do a podcast for free on YouTube. If you want to, I'm sure even if you want to find your purpose, there's like books that you can buy. um I highly recommend um Discover Your Dharma from Sahara Rose. That's literally like, that's literally like the basis of
00:25:38
ellisamccoy1
the Dharma coaching method essentially. Obviously there's like way more that goes into it with working with an actual coach but like if you're not ready to invest in a coach and you want to find your purpose like yesterday rediscover your Dharma by Sahara Rose like that will help you that will change your life that will get you going like a coach you guys is not a necessity it is just basically a cheat code like it is a cheat code to life it is someone who has
00:26:08
ellisamccoy1
like either gone through the thing that you're going through or like has the training, the expertise, the knowledge and wisdom that you're missing to just help you get to your end goal faster, quicker, with more ease, um with more support. Like it makes it easier, but you don't need it. And so that's one thing to really keep in mind is like coaching is not a necessity, but it is an incredible thing to do to really change your life, like 100%. All the things I've ever invested in, in my healing, personal growth and development, working with coaches, program certifications, has like 10x my life. And I owe it to that. Like I, you can only get so far from only reading books and listening to podcasts, like you can get really far, but it's just gonna take you longer. Whereas if you work with somebody and you have that like guidance or that insight, like
00:27:05
ellisamccoy1
It speeds it up. For example, like human design readings. You can literally pull up your own free chart for human design at mybodygraph.com, look at it, and then start to watch free YouTube videos about how to how to dissect a chart by books. And you can learn about your own human design yourself, like literally for free. maybe if you buy the books that's an expense or if you're someone who doesn't want to learn a whole system because you don't give a shit about human design but you give a shit about yourself and how your energy works and you just want to understand how to have more self-trust, how to start living with more harmonious relationships, how to find a career that really suits you, how to know how to make decisions in life so that you don't have to trust or like
00:27:52
ellisamccoy1
put your trust into psychics, um oracle cards, your friends and family who have no idea where you actually want to go, right?
Human Design in Coaching
00:28:01
ellisamccoy1
Then you can get a human design reading from an expert. Learn all of that within like one to two sessions. And you didn't have to spend all the time reading the human design books, watching the YouTubes, right? So it's just really like, where are your values and what do you want to get out of something? Like I personally am obsessed with the systems because that's something that's part of my purpose. So it makes sense that I'm going to invest in
00:28:24
ellisamccoy1
the books, invest the years in learning about it, the years in researching it, programs learning about it. Whereas like my clients aren't obsessed with human design. i'm I'm helping clients who are obsessed with themselves and their purpose and trying to get to where they want to go in a much easier way. They don't want to spend the time doing the work to learn about these systems that they don't give a shit about. You know what I mean? So it's just really like learning that about yourself and learning like what do you actually want from life. So yeah, you do not, ah again, you do not need a coach. It is something that is like a privilege. It is something that is a desire that will really help you get to where you want to go faster, but it's not necessary. Okay. So now going back to my story that I was talking about a little bit ago. So I,
00:29:15
ellisamccoy1
did my life coaching certification. So remember in 2018, I already kind of like was telling my advisor, this is what I want to do. And then I got the certification in 2021 to 2022. Because it it wasn't even like, Sahara roads didn't even create the Dharma coaching Institute when I wanted to become a life coach. So it just like all perfectly fell into place in divine timing. So it's very important that we don't rush our purpose process, like our purpose path is going to be laid out so divinely guided. Like all of your teachers, all of your mentors, all the people that you're meant to learn from are going to show up in the perfect time in your life. And you might even follow them or like really love their content for years before you even invest in them. Like, and you might find somebody that you love and invest in them tomorrow. Like that's happened to me too. So I did the Dharma Coaching Institute certification and became a spiritual life coach.
00:30:06
ellisamccoy1
Now I was still like i was still not 100% with that on how I wanted to help people. It wasn't until I learned human design and jinkies that everything popped into place for me. because that was part of my purpose path. So like those two modalities and Akashic Records, so three. So Akashic Records, Human Design, and June Keys are like my specialty, like my what really sets me apart from other coaches, from other spiritual life coaches, from other life coaches in general, is like I really look at my clients in a very
00:30:43
ellisamccoy1
like, whole, I guess you can say holistic because it's like the whole person, a very individualized and holistic way. So there's never just going to be like, straight guidance for someone to find their purpose, like it's going to be different for everybody. And that's what I love so much about human design, the jean keys is like, it's so personalized based on you. So like, your path to success is going to look so different from somebody else's. And so I love using these modalities to help my clients find out who they are at the soul level, find out like what are their unique gifts? How are they really meant to make decisions for themselves and tune into their intuition and their authority? Like, because then when you teach somebody, this is why like, I feel like this is
00:31:27
ellisamccoy1
Like I honestly do feel like a light worker and I really feel like I am incarnated into this lifetime to help people find their own personal power and activate their purpose because I am not teaching somebody my method on how I found my purpose. I'm teaching you how to trust in yourself so that you don't need anybody else anymore and you can go out and live your purpose in whatever way that looks like to you, if that makes sense. And so that's what I really love. about like all of the modalities that have spoken to me and I feel like this is they're like they're so divine, they're so like orchestrated. like This is so on purpose. like This is so on purpose for me and so on brand because I'm so 100% about individualization and helping people
00:32:11
ellisamccoy1
have sovereignty and personal power so that you never again need to go to a psychic. Psychics are really fun like you I've been to psychics I love psychics but I don't need them and I don't give my personal power away to them because what can happen is like we can become addicted to external things helping us even our oracle cards can become addicting if we don't actually learn how to tune into ourselves and like make our own empowered decisions. Like they're really great divination tools that can really help us connect to source and connect to our higher self and confirm what we already know to be true and sometimes give us that little like nudge that we need like oh my god yes like confirmation.
00:32:49
ellisamccoy1
But the real power is in learning your own power and learning how you know how to make decisions, right? So that you can have self-trust and you won't need that external validation anymore. And that is what makes you so magnetic. It's like when you don't need your friend to confirm your life path or when you don't need validation from your parents to quit college that you're in, that you hate now, and that you're like, okay, why am I doing this? This is so not aligned. or you know it's like It really gives you that freedom to just really tune into yourself because no one is going to see your purpose for you. like That is one thing that I really love about coaches and mentors is because they're unbiased. like They just want what's best for you, but like you're not you're in they're not relying on you to help pay rent. They're not relying on you to help take care of the kids. They're not relying on you to keep the family unit safe.
00:33:45
ellisamccoy1
and so where it can get skewed is like if you're asking your parents or your partner for advice on what you should do with your life and like only you see these visions for your life purpose. And it might be like something really wild or it might just be something that's like out of the norm. And like everyone is trying to convince you that that's not safe. That's not the right thing to do. You won't make enough money doing that. You can be more successful over here. um Oh, you spent so much time going to college. Like, why would you just throw that all away? Where it's like, you're the one getting those divine downloads. And SourceGod is only going to show those, those visions to you because it's for you to live it out. And so
00:34:20
ellisamccoy1
and your loved ones, your parents, your partner, they're only trying to keep you safe and they can't see the visions that Source God Universe is giving you. They can only see what they know of you and they're going off of like your who you've been up until this moment. So they're not even connected to your higher self and they just want what's best for them in a way, you know, because we're inherently all a little bit selfish. And we also want to just keep each other safe. And so that's why it can be so tough. Because honestly, like most people aren't going to see your greatness until you're already at success and greatness. And it's it's not a quick road. like Your life purpose path, your success path isn't going to be an overnight success. And so and so having a coach who sees your highest potential, having a coach
00:35:12
ellisamccoy1
who knows these divine, um, these divine systems that can help you like pull out your gifts and like see what's really possible for you is going to hold you at your highest potential. And they're going to see whenever you have fears come up and limiting beliefs, they're going to be able to help you eradicate those because we're trained. Like we're literally trained. Okay. I'm not going to say we and speak for everybody because actually like it's, the thing about the coaching industry is like, it's not regulated.
The Importance of Certified Coaches
00:35:44
ellisamccoy1
So actually, that's a great point I want to move into is like, when you decide who you want to work with, make sure that they have certifications or that they um have had training that they've had past clients because coaching isn't, certains it's not regulated. Like we don't have licensing, we don't have certain requirements. um And so anybody can just call themself a coach. So you want to work with somebody who does have
00:36:10
ellisamccoy1
training and certifications because this is like very important that people are ethical and in their integrity with what they know how to do because your life is a very sensitive subject like your purpose is very sensitive like this is your life decisions and so you want someone who's trained to help you identify when you're in fear when you're in a limiting belief do you want someone that knows and is trained in semantics and like helping you feel safe in your body, regulating the nervous system. I was actually, I had a business coach for a year that I feel like, and I've talked about this on previous podcasts, but I had a business coach for a year that I felt like set me back like so much because her, the way that she taught us was just like literally teaching us what she did to become like a successful coach. And she wasn't
00:36:59
ellisamccoy1
taking into account anyone's like individualization. She wasn't taking into account anyone's human design. And she definitely wasn't taking into account like our nervous system. So her advice was to go live on Instagram once a week at least. um And if you do that for like six months and have like one specific niche, one product or like you know, one offering, then you will become successful. and The thing that really sucked is that she was she was very obviously, like, very extroverted. Like, her personality was very extroverted. um I obviously don't know her human design, but just like from working with her, I 100% feel like she was either a generator or a manifesting generator. I think she was a manifesting generator. Actually, I think she told us that she did know where her human design was. um And so she was a very specific type of person. And all the advice and guidance that she was giving us was,
00:37:53
ellisamccoy1
what worked for her as that specific type of person. She wasn't taking into account that like most of the people in our like that were in the program with me were very introverted. Most of them had very obvious different design types in her. Most people did not feel safe in their nervous system. And so she was it was missing the element of individualization of training people and teaching people how you can be successful. to suit your own type and design. She wasn't teaching people how to regulate their nervous system to actually feel safe to go live if they even wanted to, which we know that there's so many paths to success. Like there's not just one pathway to success, which is like, you have to go live on Instagram live.
00:38:37
ellisamccoy1
at least once a week for six months to become successful. like That is not true. Some people aren't going to thrive on talking to the video. like There's other ways that people can use their creativity. There's other ways that people can use their voice, or their their charisma. There's certain things about people that it would just suit them to do so things in a different way, but she didn't look at the uniqueness of the individual. and so Like anytime that people were failing and they weren't successful and they she would ask like, oh, well, did you do the things I told you to do? No. She didn't take into account that they were so, and myself included, were so dysregulated in our nervous system. We were in so much fear. We were in so much fight or flight that there's no way we could press play and go live on Instagram live. like and so it's like And then feeling guilty and bad that we're not following the steps. And like that's the reason why we're failing.
00:39:28
ellisamccoy1
It's like, that is not how coaching should work, you guys. And if you've ever been in that situation, I'm so sorry. Like, if you've ever been in a situation where the coach is literally just telling you what to do without taking into account what you want to do, or asking your input or so like, okay, sorry, a fucking coach, you guys, is going to help you create achievable outcomes based on what you want. Like, A coach is, that's like a consultant. That's like a difference. If you just want someone to tell you exactly what to do and like follow them, that's like a business consultant. It's like, okay, get a consultant. They're just telling you what to do. A coach is someone who is helping you.
00:40:08
ellisamccoy1
create what you want to do and then holding you accountable to it. Helping you when limiting beliefs and fears come up and actually saying like, okay, what why are you so nervous to go live? Let's get to the root of this. What is it in us? Is there inner child healing work that we need to do? Is there like inner teenage healing work that we need to do? Is there like somatic work that we need to do to make you feel safe in order to do something? Do you even want to do this thing, right? Is it like, is it just fear because you're scared to go live or do you truly like not feel aligned and not want to do that because that doesn't feel like you and it would be an authentic. So there's just like so much deeper digging that we do as coaches um to help somebody like really get to where they want to be and not just
00:40:54
ellisamccoy1
tell them that there's one path for success. And like, if you're not doing this, this is why, right? So that's something to really take into account. And if you've ever had an experience with without like a coach, like, just know that you're not nothing's wrong with you. Like, it's just that you probably weren't working with, it wasn't your person,
Personalized Coaching Techniques
00:41:09
ellisamccoy1
right? Like, we're all going to have those experiences where we work with people who just aren't aligned. And then there's also coaches that I've had, who are like, Yeah, like you need to spice up things on Instagram. Here are ways that you can do it. And it's like a mixture of consulting and also coaching of like, Oh, I really know like what is successful because look at what I've done and look at all of the people that I've helped. And I have a proven record of helping all of these people and not just myself in this area. And
00:41:40
ellisamccoy1
It's just such a night and day difference when someone really takes into account like your wants and your needs and where you want to go, and then entering in their expertise in the situation right so That's my little tangent on that. Um, but yeah, so once I learned human design and gene keys and how it was like really helping the individual person at the individual level, it gave me so much confidence to help my people because it's like, okay, I literally can tell you your exact shadows of why you have these spheres. I can literally tell you what pattern and shadow you're running off on from your inner child, from your inner teenager, right? We can look at that in the gene keys.
00:42:19
ellisamccoy1
And an exact map of how to move into the gift. And this is like tested on people this isn't just me learning my gene keys and be like wow this, I feel like my soul just got read to shit, or like what's that saying that they say like oh read me to filth, it's like, if you want to be read to filth. get your gene keys read or like get your human design read. like Every client that I've ever done a reading for has been like, oh my fucking god, Alyssa. They have left so activated because it literally reads your soul far beyond what anybody in your life, that like your closest partner, could ever know about you, far beyond what you can even articulate yourself because it is literally reading your soul.
00:42:59
ellisamccoy1
Um, the other thing that I love to incorporate, and this is what I'm like super, super excited in is, um, what I'm learning right now, which is all about subconscious work. And so I'm learning all about subconscious reprogramming and how to really go in and reprogram the mind. And so many beautiful tools that I help my clients do to move through the fear when fears come up and it's like holding them back from living their purpose. So it's all about really like discovering like who, where do you want to go?
Empowering Clients and Overcoming Fears
00:43:30
ellisamccoy1
Right? Where do you want to go? Discovering your yes, discovering like what do you want? And then having support to help you get you there. And again, you can do this on your own. So if you're not even ready yet to hire a coach, just do these steps. First,
00:43:45
ellisamccoy1
really think about what do you want. What do you want? If you're realizing that you don't like your job right now. You're not waking up excited. you're You're feeling tired. You're feeling like you could be doing way more. You feel like you're not living up to your potential. Allow yourself to just sit down and journal for like 10 minutes and allow your imagination to go wild. Like what would you do? What would you create? How would you live your life from waking up to going to sleep? if you knew that money was not an issue, if you knew that time wasn't an issue, education wasn't an issue, how would your dream life day look like? And what do you actually want? Like what do you actually want out of life? So getting really, really, really clear on what you actually want. And then
00:44:26
ellisamccoy1
go in and like reverse engineer it. So okay, you're like, this would be my dream day, I would be working in this kind of job, I would be doing this kind of work, um I would be doing this kind of morning routine, I would be eating this kind of food, I would be wearing these kind of clothes, I would have these kind of relationships, I would do these kind of things for fun. I would be expressing myself in this this in this way. Okay, great. Now reverse engineer, what do you need to do from right now to get there? How do you fill in the gap? And then create a step by step process to get there. um And that's how you actually start changing your life right now. And
00:45:11
ellisamccoy1
literally wake up every day, decide they're gonna be that dream person, that higher self version of yourself, and start making choices that she would make, right? If she works out three to four times a week, start working on three to four times a week. If she dresses a certain way, start dressing that way. If she has a certain career, a certain job, start looking for those jobs, right? So that's how you can really start to become that person. If you want help doing this, hire a coach. If you want help getting there faster, easier. um If you want help when all of these blocks and limiting beliefs come up because it is, they're going to come up like you, you're literally going to be every time that you change your behavior and start doing something that your higher self would do.
00:45:57
ellisamccoy1
you're rewriting your neural pathways. And so there's going to be a lot of resistance that comes up. So if you want a coach that can help you guide you through all of those resistances that are going to come up, the fears of judgment of other people, of yourself, of letting things go, look for a coach. If you want somebody that's going to help you understand your individualization through knowing yourself at the soul level, Human design, gene cues, if you want to cause records guidance from like someone who can tune into your spirit team, your guides, answer any questions that you have, heal past lives, look at potential features, heal present day things that have happened in inner child healing. If you want someone with guidance, support, accountability, right? Like check-ins.
00:46:45
ellisamccoy1
hire a coach. And your girl Alyssa does all of those things. So I would recommend first, right, if you're very unsure of like, if you don't even know what you want yet either, I would highly recommend just getting a Jean Q's reading. to really uncover what your four prime gifts are. You're going to know what your life's work is, what your biggest soul lesson is, what keeps you radiant and healthy and what your purpose is. That's going to start getting the juices flowing and it's going to unlock so many ideas and it's going to confirm a lot of things that you knew about yourself but you probably just like were scared to like pursue. And then I would recommend getting a human design reading to understand how your energy works
00:47:24
ellisamccoy1
how you should start showing up in relationships, how you should start manifesting things in life, your unique strategy, how to start trusting yourself, having so much clarity and confidence in your decisions, not needing to look outside of yourself, no more asking friends, no more going to psychics, no more pulling cards, trusting yourself full trust, waking up every day with incredible energy, You're on fire. You're following your passions. Life feels amazing. You feel like you trust in life. You feel like you're connected to source God universe.
Aligning with Your Highest Potential
00:47:54
ellisamccoy1
You feel like you start attracting friendships that really light you up and like you're vibing and like life just feels exciting. You're you're living up to your highest potential. You're surprising yourself by how good life gets to be.
00:48:09
ellisamccoy1
Book a human design reading. And then when you're ready and you're like, you know what? I know what my four prime gifts are. I know how my energy works. I want to do this. I want to accomplish this very specific goal. Then sign up for mentorship. That's when it's time to work with the coach one-on-one with me specifically. If you're interested in that, I can help you get to exactly where you want to go. We are doing it in an individualized way that is in alignment with your soul, with your soul contract. We are healing past lives. We are doing all the things. There's accountability. There's check-ins. There's someone to like really encourage you and lift you up when things start getting really tough because it will happen. Um, then one to one mentorship would be the next step. Okay. So yes, I think that is it you guys. So just remember therapists, therapy are really there to help you.
00:49:06
ellisamccoy1
heal past traumas. They are looking at the past, they're helping you heal, they're helping you with any mental health issues that you have coming up, any anxiety, depression, um and any other things that are coming up that are really ah impacting your like life, like your work life, your relationships, your energy levels. like That is incredible. So definitely therapy. And then when you're ready to look into the future and to really claim like your most highest self, like incredible, best version of yourself, your highest potential that you know you can be that you're like, so excited to be like, I'm that bitch, like, I am her and I love my life and I'm excited to wake up and like, I'm living my purpose, then coaching, right? Coaching, forward thinking, someone bridging the gap for you, accountability, and then also tuning into like all the spiritual and like soul aligned stuff.
00:50:00
ellisamccoy1
Okay, so day I hope that was helpful. I hope you guys have an absolutely beautiful week. um Oh my god you guys line Gates portal is in four days. So I hope you are on your manifestations. um This is it was around this time, almost this time last year that I launched my podcast actually it was like in a month away but I was definitely aiming for the 8-8 portal, but it got pushed back a little bit. um But you guys, so much like so much healing, so much like beautiful energy that we can really tap into right now. So I want you to just go out there, have a beautiful week, be your highest self, make decisions from your highest self, and know that you got this, okay? Okay, I will see you guys next time. by Bye-bye.