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88 I Showing Up Matters More Than Winning
67 Plays18 days ago
Some people are trying to break records.
Some people are just trying not to quit.
It depends on the season they’re in..and both matter.
In this episode, we’re talking about why showing up for yourself is sometimes the biggest win of all. Because sometimes winning looks big and obvious, and other times it looks like quietly continuing when no one else sees how hard it is for you to keep going.
Maybe your win right now is rebuilding after heartbreak.
Maybe it’s finally making the hard decision.
Maybe it’s getting through the workday without falling apart.
Maybe it’s showing up to the thing you almost talked yourself out of.
And maybe the pressure to “have it all figured out” is the very thing making you feel behind.
This episode is a reminder that we are all running different races in different seasons of life. Success is relative. Healing isn’t linear. Growth is uncomfortable. And just because something feels hard doesn’t mean you’re failing.
We also dive into mindset, self-concept, resilience, personal growth, the psychology of self-reinforcement, and why confidence is often built by simply continuing to show up for yourself over and over again.
Because maybe winning was never about being first.
Maybe showing up is the win.
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to rate the podcast five stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟. It really helps others find the show.
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Transcript
Introduction & Philosophy
00:00:36
Heather Morgan
Think of it like we're all just running different races in different seasons of life. And what looks small to one person might actually be monumental to another.
00:00:50
Heather Morgan
Because sometimes winning looks like first place and sometimes winning is simply finding the strength to show up at all.
00:01:02
Heather Morgan
I was thinking about that recently while running a race and I know you need to hear this. Welcome to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. I am so happy you're here.
00:01:21
Heather Morgan
Hi, y'all. I want to go over why this is going to help you feel so much more at peace with where you are in your life.
00:01:35
Heather Morgan
And the real key thing that I took away from realizing that showing up is winning. And it really matters more than winning.
00:01:46
Heather Morgan
And when you even get to the next layer of it, winning is really subjective. It's all perspective. There's people that you see things and you go, oh, they wanted it life. But to them, they may be so farther behind than they ever thought.
00:02:03
Heather Morgan
And that's why everything really comes down to how you view it.
Signing Up for Personal Growth
00:02:10
Heather Morgan
And if you've been listening along to the podcast for a while, you know I am one that loves to make a story out of everything. And so I wanted to talk about something that I feel like so many people will feel more at peace and really resonate with. It's when I was recently – I got – I felt this random pull to sign up for a 5K in Nashville.
00:02:31
Heather Morgan
And if you've listened to earlier episodes, you know i had a bit of a you know runner girl career. I wouldn't call it a career, but i at one point in my life, I ran a half marathon. That's the longest distance I ever ran. But the discipline that i acquired from the 12 weeks of running consistently five days a week to achieve an under two hour half marathon was a whole – it was a really impactful part of my journey when I look back on it just because – gave me so much discipline. And it was one of those things where if you know, you know, if you don't run at all and someone's like they're running, to say you're a runner, it feels like you have to earn that title and you never know when you actually earn it. Does it mean when I run once? Does it mean when I run a 5K? Does it mean when I hit a certain, you know, mile per minute? And so anyways, but I felt this pull to call
00:03:29
Heather Morgan
like to to sign up for this race. And i hadn't really ran a consistent three miles since last
Pursuing Personal Goals
00:03:35
Heather Morgan
Thanksgiving. And I didn't like train for it, per se, because it's no pressure, you know short distance race. But I didn't really know why. But I thought one of the parts and one of the things that you probably noticed is that in this shift of identity from super messy to trying to really position myself into this new, less messy and more...
00:03:59
Heather Morgan
growth oriented, becoming my best self era. I was like, I kind of miss that feeling of getting up early and being at the park and there's all these other runners and it's just kind of a fun vibe. And if you've listened to other episodes, you know how important, sell I truly know self-concept is a key piece of creating the life that you want. And so you should do more of the things that that are aligned with the person you want to become. And I thought being outside early morning with a whole bunch of other people that are aiming to be active feels very aligned for me. So I'm going to sign up.
00:04:36
Heather Morgan
And I invited a couple people, but everyone kind of had plans. So it was fine. I was like, I can do it by myself. And so I go to the race. And really, i realized that
00:04:50
Heather Morgan
when I'm there, I'm running it. And during the race, sorry, I'm thinking back to just the whole feeling, but as I'm going through the process, it's a timed race and there's a ton of people.
00:05:02
Heather Morgan
And as I'm running through, i didn't really have like, I'm going to run so fast. It was more like definitely like in my personal goals, I was like, run it under 30 minutes, which is not extremely hard. If you've ran races before, maybe if it was your first time, yeah,
00:05:18
Heather Morgan
And then I was like, and don't walk, like don't stop. That was like my two goals. And I think it's always fun to go in with goals, but then also give yourself grace, you know? But so I go in and I'm running it. And as I'm doing it, I realized that there's like people that will go in front of
Inspiration & Energy Exchange
00:05:37
Heather Morgan
you. You see the same people, you know? And it's never like a competition specifically for them. But I realized that as I was going down, when there's a downhill, I'm always like, that's kind of where I'm like picking up speed. And I pass i would pass someone. i could pass like a couple of
00:05:55
Heather Morgan
people, the same people a number of times. And each time I would pass them, sometimes they'd be going like they would be winded so they'd start walking and then they would suddenly see me pass and it's like they would get a wind of like, I got it i got go And what i realized about that is, and I was thinking this in my head as this is happening because I'm i'm not being competitive with them, but i realized that they're seeing me continue to go and that motivates and inspires them to keep moving.
00:06:26
Heather Morgan
And that really made me think that is how life is. And that is why it's so important for us to continue moving through life towards our goals and the things that we want and keep going because it inspires people.
00:06:46
Heather Morgan
as they're passing me. And then I'm like, keep going, Heather. Maybe you'll pass, you know, you'll pass them. They'll pass you. And it's really like this exchange of energy. That's like, look, we're all just running this race together.
00:06:58
Heather Morgan
And I don't know when they started and, you know, everyone starts at different times in the race and all of that. And, but it's just so fun to kind of realize that everyone takes from others.
00:07:14
Heather Morgan
And as we passed around, it was kind of like a um a roundabout. So you kind of went back through the same way you came. um you're passing these people that are much more behind and you're, you just see them smiling. And this is this man in front of me. And he was like high-fiving the people that were still running, just very motivational. And I thought it was so kind. And I was just thinking like as I'm passing those people, like this is life.
Defining Success & Personal Growth
00:07:42
Heather Morgan
We're all just running this race. You see these people and some are farther behind, but you don't even know what it took for them to show up, to wake up, and get to the race and actually do what they said they're going to do.
00:07:59
Heather Morgan
And that's what I thought of with every single person there. Because sometimes I think we take for granted The amount of time and energy it takes for some people or even on our own selves some days to get up and do what we say we're going to do, even if that means getting up earlier than we say, you know pushing ourselves in ways that are uncomfortable, that is a win.
00:08:31
Heather Morgan
And there was someone there that was definitely, surely nervous. It was their first race.
00:08:39
Heather Morgan
It was probably something that someone was like, I don't think I can be a runner. Like, am I going be able to run this? And they're are they're feeling the pressure of that. And then some people were like literally getting there and they were like, this is a victory. I'm so proud of myself. And everyone at the race has a different story.
00:08:58
Heather Morgan
And that's so true to life and where you are that you should always be proud of yourself for showing up when you say you will.
00:09:12
Heather Morgan
And at the end of the race, there's people that I ran it, you know, in 16, 17 minutes. Incredible. And for them, that could have not even be the best time. And they could have been like, could have done better.
00:09:27
Heather Morgan
And then there's someone that ran it in 30 and was like, that was my best time. I'm so proud of myself. And then there could have been someone else that walked the whole time, but they finished.
00:09:39
Heather Morgan
And they were happier than the person that won first place.
00:09:45
Heather Morgan
Because life is all about perspectives and showing up based on your own challenges and your own strengths and your own talents. And so when something comes naturally to someone and it's not natural to someone else, showing up alone, that is a win.
00:10:08
Heather Morgan
And I want to remind you of that, whatever you're going through in life, because this is really a journey and we're all cheering each other on and there's gonna be people in front of the race and there's gonna be people walking in in the back no matter where we are everyone has the ability to win in their own mind whatever that looks like for them and it doesn't have to feel competitive there's enough winning for everyone it can just feel motivating that a whole bunch of collective of people all showed up to prove something to themselves and
00:10:45
Heather Morgan
And I think that's the kind of mindset that will most benefit us is when we can think, I'm doing this for myself because I want to show up
00:11:01
Heather Morgan
for myself. And success is such it's defined differently by everyone.
00:11:08
Heather Morgan
And a win is relative to the season that you're in. And when I think back to starting my life over, some days the win was just getting through the workday without crying.
Self-Recognition & Brain Rewiring
00:11:21
Heather Morgan
Some days the win is just not completely falling apart when you're at your lowest point.
00:11:34
Heather Morgan
Sometimes the win is not doing that thing that you know isn't going to help you in life, that harmful thing you've been avoiding. And if that's all you did was avoid that thing, that strength is a lot.
00:11:52
Heather Morgan
And i I truly talked about this before, but since we're on the topic of winning, I want to remind you how important it is to remind yourself each day of how proud you are of the ways you showed up for yourself.
00:12:10
Heather Morgan
And when you do the things you say you're going to do, it's like, I am so proud of you. I am so proud of you because when it's almost like crossing the finish line. It doesn't matter how fast you got there, doesn't matter If you wanted to quit five times during the race, it doesn't matter. Once you cross that finish line, I'm so proud of me.
00:12:32
Heather Morgan
I'm so proud of you to yourself because every time you get up and show up for yourself and do the thing that really doesn't feel like something you want to do and you cross that finish line, that is a win.
00:12:46
Heather Morgan
And that is something to be proud of. And the more, and I go back to neuroscience, this is literally human psychology and neuroscience backed proof. When you are giving that positive reinforcement to yourself and showing yourself that you can show up, it will continually help you rewire and repattern your brain for more of that.
00:13:11
Heather Morgan
And so instead of being upset about your time, being upset about this, saying, well, I could have done better. It's no, I finished. The better comes with the continual reps.
00:13:26
Heather Morgan
Finishing is the win. And I think we would feel so much less pressure on ourselves if we would realize just showing up is enough sometimes.
Challenges & Discomfort in Life
00:13:38
Heather Morgan
just showing up. And I want to tie this into the reminder though, that just because you showed up doesn't mean it's going to be easy.
00:13:50
Heather Morgan
Because I think back even in to making the decisions in my life to start over. And it was a really, really, really hard to decision to actually go through with getting divorced, let's say.
00:14:05
Heather Morgan
Like harder than I think anyone can understand unless they've been and lived it themselves. But, and I'm sure there's something in your life, even if you haven't been divorced, that you're like, that decision was really, really hard for me to make.
00:14:17
Heather Morgan
And even when you make that really hard decision, like showing up to the race you don't want to run or doing, even though you know it's good for you or making a hard decision in your life, even though you know it's the right one, that doesn't mean that once you get there, that it removes all the heels on the way.
00:14:35
Heather Morgan
Because there will still be moments you want to quit, moments you doubt yourself, moments you surprise yourself. And you're like, I cannot believe I'm doing this. It's so amazing.
00:14:48
Heather Morgan
And so I just want to remind you too on this journey is that just because you finally choose yourself doesn't mean the race suddenly becomes easy.
00:14:59
Heather Morgan
And I think that's why you need to remember that just finishing is the win.
00:15:05
Heather Morgan
Because it's truly life is moments of continually choosing to start something that you know is good for you and finish it over and over again, knowing that it's probably not going to be comfortable or easy the whole time through.
00:15:24
Heather Morgan
And believe me, in all of the work that I've done and all of the reading, studying, you know I love this stuff, mindset, neuroscience, reading everything, personal growth, the one truth is is that there is no perfect formula to easy.
00:15:43
Heather Morgan
i looked for the easy mode button. And you know what I found? It's within your perspective. You have to become
00:15:57
Heather Morgan
all right with being continually un uncomfortable.
00:16:02
Heather Morgan
You have to disassociate
00:16:06
Heather Morgan
uncomfortability with You're doing it wrong. You can't do it. You're being rejected. You're not worthy. You're not good enough to be there. do you think of those people that wanted to come to the race and they're like, well, there's going to be people that run it in 16 minutes. like what i I couldn't even run. I mean, someone's probably thinking, I can't even run one mile in 16 minutes.
00:16:30
Heather Morgan
But does that mean they don't show up?
00:16:33
Heather Morgan
There are so many times in our life where we just think we can't we we we can't do something because someone else has done it so much better than us already.
00:16:45
Heather Morgan
But that is not true. We are all running different races. We are not here to stay small because other people have already won.
00:16:59
Heather Morgan
Do you think like when the first person finished, crossed the finish line, everyone just stops and like, it's over. We lost, you know? No.
00:17:10
Heather Morgan
And I think we just need to sometimes think more about that in life, that not everything is, oh, it's over now. We lost. And I remember even tying it back to, you know, again,
00:17:24
Heather Morgan
changing my life and getting divorced is like, all right, well, I tried. i tried marriage. I lost.
Perseverance & Mindset Lessons
00:17:29
Heather Morgan
That's it. It's over. Like I tried my best guys. Couldn't do it. And it's, it's not really that.
00:17:37
Heather Morgan
And I think I hold on, held onto that for a minute. Like if I couldn't do it then could I do it now? But yeah, I could. I definitely could and i could I think I could knock it out of the park.
00:17:50
Heather Morgan
And I think it's all because of the mindset that you bring into anything you do from life. And so I don't want you thinking that because you felt failure in the past or because you haven't finished things as fast or as quickly as you thought you should have by now that that's it for you and it's time to throw in the towel because it's not over till it's over.
00:18:12
Heather Morgan
you push all the way through that it doesn't matter what happens at the beginning. It really matters how you end. i I truly believe that. And I think that's the way we keep showing up for ourselves is by realizing it ain't over till it's over.
Enjoying the Journey & Self-Love
00:18:31
Heather Morgan
And i also want to lastly kind of tie this up with one thing that hopefully will keep you in it because I know sometimes when you're in a low point, you're like, okay, I hear you. I have to keep going. I don't really feel like going. Like, uh, this is exhausting.
00:18:49
Heather Morgan
But there is beauty in the being in it. I know sometimes like while I'm running this race and y'all, I love that you guys know me that some of you that listening that have listened so long that you're probably like, yeah, I could totally see where she's thinking. Cause I'm such a,
00:19:06
Heather Morgan
an overthinking mind and it makes me want to cry because I'm a baby. I'm such an emotional feeler. But um when I'm running it, you know, and I literally feel like my, is it, my quads are like so heavy. I'm just like, oh okay.
00:19:26
Heather Morgan
But while I'm running it, I'm just like, oh my gosh, this weather is perfect. Look at that tree. Look at this cool little, we like went over this little like, um really Heather, you can't think of the word, bridge, which is very reflective of life. Like this little bridge. And then one was like wobbling. So it's kind of fun. like did to do And i was thinking to myself, like, this is the journey. Like, yeah. Like, do I, like, I am getting a little winded on this part. Like maybe when I push myself up the hill a little or whatever, but like,
00:19:59
Heather Morgan
This is kind of like fun. Like I got my playlist going. Like I am just like, if you can get in your head and be like, this is fun. Like this is actually enjoyable, even though it's kind of not enjoyable.
00:20:15
Heather Morgan
It really is a game changer. That's anything in life. Like if you were like doing that thing, like you don't want to do, aka your taxes, but you're like lighting a candle and you know, making a little mocktail and making it like a whole, like look at what I get to do.
00:20:34
Heather Morgan
I had literally done that did that recently. So that's why I thought of it. But these are the, gay I literally have to, it's kind of like a childlike vibe. Sometimes for things that really are uncomfortable, we've got to find a way to push ourselves through them.
00:20:49
Heather Morgan
And I was talking to a friend recently and she's like, I am a little different. I like to be hard on myself. I need to be like, you can't even do this. Like what? And I think that can work for people as long as you're still kind to yourself. I just always am like, I don't think it serves you to beat yourself up consistently without like tough love is one thing, but you really need to make sure that the love for yourself is there foundationally.
00:21:20
Heather Morgan
because it's so key to you being able to truly replicate that in your value to the rest of the world. It's just an important foundation. So and I understand tough love, but I really, everyone has different ways, but I love to come from like, because you love yourself, that's why you show up.
00:21:39
Heather Morgan
Because you're worthy of the life you want, that's why you show up. Because you know that the gifts and the talents that you specifically have in this world need to be shared with the world, you're going to keep showing up over and over.
00:21:56
Heather Morgan
And there is joy along the way. And you are motivating people along the way. As someone passes you and you see that, you're like, let me turn it up. And i actually want to say at the end, which just goes back into my – so i'm this girl kept – me and her were back and forth at the end of the race.
Pushing Limits & Embracing Challenges
00:22:18
Heather Morgan
And, you know, I could tell that, you know, she noticed like it was enough times. And right before the end of the race, she had passed me and she picked up speed and was pretty far ahead. So I do this thing and I usually do. And it's not just, but it's kind of, you know, interesting when there's actually someone I've been doing that with throughout the end of the race. And I am like, I love to push myself when I know I'm at the end of something like,
00:22:46
Heather Morgan
Even recently, i got like a personal trainer and it's like once I know I'm at the end, it's like they're like, where'd that strength come from? And I'm like, because I know it's at the end. And and that's just kind of what I've always done. But so I'm like, I'm going to start just booking it.
00:23:01
Heather Morgan
But then I thought about her and I was like, I don't want to be rude. I don't want to pass her. But then I'm like, that's not rude. That's just what you do. Like, you know, and it's so funny that i that thought even crosses my mind. But I just booked it.
00:23:15
Heather Morgan
past her. And it wasn't about beating her. It was about pushing myself. And i don't even know if I beat her because I don't even know when she started. You know what i mean? But I say that to say that there's moments where we know we can push ourselves much harder than we do.
00:23:35
Heather Morgan
I could have ran much faster.
00:23:38
Heather Morgan
And sometimes it just takes a moment to be like, I can do this. I can do this and I'm going to show myself that I can. And I know whatever you're going through right now, whatever feels hard, I promise you it is not on your plate because you cannot manage it.
00:23:58
Heather Morgan
It is not given to you without the strength to get through it. It is not on your journey because you have no way of of overcoming it.
00:24:08
Heather Morgan
that That I do know and I want to remind you. And the journey, like I said, it's beautiful and it's not always because you're winning, but it's because you're experiencing it.
00:24:27
Heather Morgan
And that is a win in itself.
00:24:31
Heather Morgan
So wherever you are in your race right now, whether you feel behind, exhausted, lost, or like you're finally catching momentum, I am proud of you for continuing because showing up counts more than we give ourselves credit for.
00:24:55
Heather Morgan
Now, if you know someone needs to hear this, send it along. Let them find some peace and joy in just showing up for themselves. I know there's so many of us feeling like uncertainty now and showing up day and day.
00:25:13
Heather Morgan
You don't have to solve every problem. You don't have to plan out every moment of five years from now to show up to what you know will move you in the direction of the life that you want for yourself.
00:25:29
Heather Morgan
This was Wandering a Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. You matter.