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Finding Love After Divorce: Blending Families & Building a Successful Business (with April)
194 Plays5 days ago
Starting over after divorce can feel lonely, uncertain, and overwhelming, but it can also lead to a life you never imagined.
In this episode of Wandering the Wild Mess, Heather sits down with a backhome friend, April, a mother of eight, and a successful entrepreneur who rebuilt her life after divorce in her 20s. From navigating single motherhood and the loneliness that comes after leaving, to finding love again and building a thriving business, April shares what it really takes to start over.
They talk about:
- What divorce actually feels like (the part no one talks about)
- Dating after divorce and learning to trust again
- Blending families and navigating step-parent roles
- Building confidence through survival and self-leadership
- How one person believing in you can change your entire path
- Growing a successful business from the ground up
This episode is for anyone who feels like life didn’t go the way they planned and needs a reminder that it can still turn out better than they imagined.
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to rate the podcast five stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟. It really helps others find the show.
Make sure to subscribe, follow, and share it with a friend who needs it!
Find the book mentioned in the episode linked on my website: www.wanderingthewildmess.com
Stay connected and check out all the ways you can follow along!
- Email the show: heather@wanderingthewildmess.com
- Host Instagram: @heatherdyann
- Host Facebook: heatherdyanmorgan
- TikTok: @wanderingthewildmess
- Subscribe to YouTube: www.youtube.com/@wanderingthewildmess
Find free mindset tools & more here:https://stan.store/wanderingthewildmess
Find more on April and her business on Instagram:
- @bloomstudiosutah
- @urhairsucks
- @gldnhr
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Transcript
Introduction to April's Journey
00:00:36
Speaker
Some of the biggest decisions that we ever make are the ones that we have no idea how it will turn out. Welcome to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. I am so happy you're here. Y'all, I'm so excited to talk to you about the thing that we all know is life and how we make decisions from a place of not knowing how it will turn out. And today I want to bring on one of my favorite people, such a wonderful just light in this world for me, ah my friend and fellow Utahan, who is also a mother to eight,
00:01:17
Speaker
A salon owner, boss babe, and also navigated her own divorce in her 20s, only to rebuild her life. April, welcome to the show. Hi. Hey. April, happy to have you here. Thanks so much for coming. We've been talking about this for so long, doing this podcast. Yes. Yes, and you thought about starting a podcast, which still, wait for that. Maybe. Could be fun. Could be. um And I wanted to have you on. April like is in town from Utah. So we're both born and raised in Utah. And this is her first time in Nashville. What do you think? No.
00:01:54
Speaker
It's so fun. its We had so much fun last night. ah Nashville is like I knew when you were coming out and the last time I was in Utah, I told her i was like, come out, be on the podcast.
Life Changes and Divorce
00:02:05
Speaker
yeah April's really been just such a pivotal part of like my journey because I actually started getting my hair done by April, like right before my whole divorce thing yeah started. So that was like,
00:02:18
Speaker
I'm in this transition period and i now I'm going to a new and at girlies, you know, you get a new hair girl and it's like there's just a bonding, especially when you're doing like extensions and you're just with this person for a long amount of time. So she was really a pivotal point in my separation and divorce journey. And I learned a lot about her own. And so I thought I wanted to bring her on and share her kind of perspective because I was in awe by everything that she'd built.
00:02:45
Speaker
And learning that, you know, she had to kind of navigate her own challenges. So I kind of want to start with a little bit of your story, April, like how you like a lot of my listeners, if you're not from Utah, it's it's definitely a bubble that I didn't realize was one until I left it. Like you don't realize just it's just different.
00:03:07
Speaker
I mean, sure, that's everywhere. Yeah. But growing up in Utah, like you. get married young, a lot of people, and that's other places. And so you got married young. 22. 22. Yep.
00:03:19
Speaker
And then it just was something that you enjoyed, but it wasn't forever. Like, how did you know it wasn't forever? um I mean, when I got married, I was head over heels for that guy. Like, I was so in love with him. I don't think marriages end because it was wrong from the beginning. I think they end because it's the choices people make in a marriage that end a marriage.
00:03:40
Speaker
You know what i mean? People change and they make choices. And I mean, we both made some bad choices, I think. That's why marriage ended. Like... um But, i mean, i also feel like I am where I'm in my career because I went through that marriage and that divorce because it makes you really strong.
00:03:59
Speaker
100% and well and I think even more so with you because I've had some people on like people on that have had kids i had Leah on and you had kids during the war so that adds a whole other level of level of complexity to for sure leaving so that was probably pretty hard because you were still in your 20s when you decided to yeah leave and was that like tell me about that because I know growing up in Utah like I feel like I mean, a lot of people do get divorced, even you know but it's kind of like not ideal. Like I know when I was going through it, I didn't really want to tell my family. Like how did that feel for you?
00:04:36
Speaker
um i lucked out. My family is awesome. Like my family, I definitely made mistakes in my first marriage and they were fully supportive. Like I remember telling my mom about it and she was just like, It's okay, I love you. I still love you no matter what. Like my parents are very unconditional of that, like that. So, um and my family was great. um There's definitely a level of mom guilt when you get divorced and you have kids. Like no matter what, even my, my you know, my kids from my divorce are 22 and 19 now and i you still have mom guilt because it's not like they chose a divorce, right? You chose that for them.
00:05:12
Speaker
So I think that's something that all moms who get divorced, feel. They feel it forever because it's like of a sudden you're like, mom and dad aren't living together anymore. We're going to be in separate houses. You're going to have all these different dynamics coming in, kids, people, family.
Starting Over and Finding Love Again
00:05:27
Speaker
So that was hard. It's still hard for me when I think about it because it's like a date I chose that for them, right? Which was the best choice for me and still was a great choice. you know But it's still hard to put your kids through that. Yeah, I can only imagine. I know that that's a huge reason why people stay. But I i think at the end of the day, like you do have to do what's best for you because that becomes what's best for your children. I'm sure that that's how you feel. like They see a better mother because you're happier. yeah And so after so after you left that, like you didn't you weren't a salon owner yet and you've built so much. And so like, how did that all happen from going to like, okay, now here I in my late twenties, right? You're like 28, divorced, two kids living in Utah. Like, what am I going to do now? Like talk me through like how you, yeah, well i started working a ton just because my ex-husband was having troubles with his job. And so I started working, working more and kind of taking the role.
00:06:28
Speaker
of the breadwinner. And I think that when I got divorced, I just like threw myself into that. Like people like meet me and they're like, oh, she's so hard and mean and it's kind of scary. But I wasn't always like that. I think my divorce, like having to provide for my two kids and like have my own business and do it all by myself.
00:06:49
Speaker
I just like, ah started working all the time. Like I became a workaholic. probably part numbing from my divorce and not being able to like but then when you don't have your kids you're like i was like i might as well work instead of sit home and like be sad you know no i see that and then well and a part of it was survival too if you felt like you did have to provide for your children like take that provider role then you're like, I've got to make this work for my kids because you're already moving through the divorce with the guilt.
00:07:20
Speaker
Yeah. Right. And they're like, at that minimum, let me provide them everything that I possibly can. Yeah. Because I can't fix what I took yeah from them there. sure. So you probably were trying to kind of help, I mean, support where you could. yeah So then you throw yourself into work, which I totally relate with that. I think a lot of people, it's hard to sit with yourself after a divorce because you're just. Yeah.
00:07:42
Speaker
Yeah. It's hard. Yeah. And so then you're like throwing yourself into work and then tell me, cause I know you have an amazing husband now. Yes. And that's always, I'm sure people want to hear that. Cause when you're going through divorce, you're like, is it ever going to happen for me again? What is that going to feel like? What is that going to look like? Yeah. When I first got divorced, I remember reading old journals of when I met my first husband and I was just like the little Twitter painted kid.
00:08:06
Speaker
Like I was just so obsessed with him. And then I remember being divorced. I was cleaning out like a storage unit or something. And I found an old journal and I was like, who is that girl? Like, there's no way I will ever feel like that again.
Entrepreneurial Journey with Bloom
00:08:21
Speaker
Like there's, I was just like, there's no way because like after divorce, you're very like jaded and you have so there's so many feelings you're so hurt. And so I just remember reading that going, Oh my gosh, I'm never, I'll never reach that point, which I did. And most people do again, eventually, you know what I mean? But it's just like, healing your heart and taking the time for yourself and like finding out what you can live with, what you can, can live or like live without live with and live without, you know what and i mean? Like, so anyways, um, but yeah, I met Brickman and when I met him, I did definitely didn't think I was going to marry him. Like the first night we met, I was just like, okay. And then he just, he kept asking me out and he would, I was like, my sister, my little sister was like, just go out and get some free sushi. Just go out with him. I'm like, okay. Okay.
00:09:07
Speaker
So here we are 15 years later, eight kids, four dogs. just Oh my gosh. I feel like, and that's a really key thing what you said too about you, you had to do some healing of your heart. Cause I do agree that you kind of like shut that idea out. Yeah. I think it's also like to protect from the pain of like what that feels like to lose it.
00:09:28
Speaker
You're like, I just even, can I love like that? And even do I want to, because I know what this pain of like, letting that go and seeing it fall apart. yeah You know what i mean Because that like you said, you you end up, you love that person and then it just watched you fall, not like you kind of fall out of love at some point, but you still have love, it's just not the same. And that's like a painful reality.
00:09:50
Speaker
Well, I remember dating guys that were beneath me, like just, they weren't like people that I was truly interested in. i just was like, well, they're easy to date. They're obsessed with me. I'll just date them. Because I was so afraid of dating someone that had potential Right? Because then you're like meeting them there and you're like, it's, you're afraid. You're like, well, he's a really great guy. Am I ready for that? You know, i used to date guys that were like, well, I can just date him and it's easy. It's,
00:10:14
Speaker
it wasn't ah anything real. Right. i feel like you're speaking to my soul right now. april i guess i do too he I feel like that's where I'm at. Like, and I feel like a lot of people, sometimes they're not self-aware. And I think, I love that you're, you were aware now looking back that like you were doing that as a protection for sure. You know, like, and then Brickman comes along and you're like, dang it.
00:10:36
Speaker
But I don't think you knew at first, so that's probably how I didn't. And like divorce is so lonely. like people I feel like when you're in divorce, you want it out so bad. You're like, get me out. And then you get out and you're like, it's so lonely. You could cut it with a knife. It's thick and it's heavy. And like I remember one night waking up and the house was so quiet and I like almost was having a panic attack. And I called my brother, who had also been recently divorced. And it was like 2 a.m.
00:11:02
Speaker
And I'm like, I just like, I can't. He's like, I'm coming over. We went to Village Inn and got Keyline Pass. love that. But he was just like, he knew exactly what I was going through. And he's like, it's hard. It's lonely. Even though you don't want to be with your ex, but you're just like, so then I feel like when dating comes around, you're dating people that you're like, well, just don't want to be alone tonight. Like, I want to like.
00:11:22
Speaker
Not be alone. it's It's very lonely, but it's definitely worth... Like, I'm glad I met Brickman and he stepped up to the plate and we are we're where we're not at now, you know? Yeah. And so when you... Were you like, I'm... This is going to be my forever marriage. Because I feel like I think about that sometimes when you go in. Because you had a lot going. But he really was critical in and your whole path though, right? Meaning Brickman like kind of changes trajectory for everything that you've built. Yeah.
00:11:48
Speaker
He... When I met him, I was working at a salon and I was renting out two rooms. And I was thinking like, I should rent out, I should knock down another wall and rent a third room within this studio. And he was like, you're stupid, go get a studio of your own. And I was like, no, I don't want to be a salon owner. Like I was pretty strong at that point. I don't want to own a salon.
00:12:09
Speaker
And so he was just like, like crunching numbers and he called his dad and his dad's like, she's so stupid. look Like, look at her. Why doesn't she, why doesn't she have her own place? So that's like, I didn't want to open bloom. That was like Brickman and his dad were his dad sat me down and he's like, he works his butt off. He always has. He's like someone I look really look up to. And he sat me down and he was like, you you can do this. You know, you can do this, right? Like, look at you. You're you're already doing it just in someone else's space. And I was like, oh, okay, fine. Let's do it
00:12:42
Speaker
Let's open bloom. I love that. And it gave me chills because I do think like that's one of the my favorite things about even just thinking about getting in a relationship again or it brings that structure. Yeah. Like you were just going through the emotions and you were like providing and making you were doing great. And it took like someone like that that you opened your heart to like Brickman to come in and be like, April, you can do that. And like having his yeah like structure and belief in you.
00:13:09
Speaker
change the trajectory of your where you're at because he like saw that in you. like that yeah And I love that just because I think that's like a beautiful way of why relationships, even though you risk a lot putting your heart out there, yeah you can gain so much from like someone truly like seeing you and loving you and believing in you like Brickman did and then bringing his dad. like That's huge. No, it was huge. And like when you get divorced, it's like when you're married, you're like, we're married, we have these kids, we're going to go on these vacations, we're going to spend time here. And then you get divorced and you're kind of like, you don't know your future as much, right?
00:13:43
Speaker
You don't know what's, what will I go to Disneyland again with friends? I don't know. Will I do like, so I feel like meeting him, it really like honed in on like, this is the path I want to do. This is what we're going to do from now on. This is how we're going to raise our kids. Like,
00:13:57
Speaker
I don't know. Being single is hard that way. You know what i mean? it's It's hard to like know. like you know't You have the ideas and plans you want for yourself, but I feel like it's hard to have that direct path. You know what i mean?
00:14:10
Speaker
Yeah. No, I 100%. And I think even when... you kind of think it's one path and you kind of get like, oh, this is what we're doing. Just even any way that you shift off because you've been growing the brand, right? Like you, Bloom is big. You're doing lots of things with that. And each time you have like an apprenticeship too that you do now. So like, how do you, do you feel like it was easier now to take on new things because you like just ripped the bandaid off and open the salon? Like, is it easier to venture out or do you still have those fears every time you do something new? Um, I mean, we started really small. We started 1800 square feet, five rooms, five stations.
00:14:48
Speaker
And I was like, so happy. It was the best thing ever. And then because of our apprenticeship program, I feel like I started basically bringing these girls in and then they didn't want to leave. So then it was like, wait, we need
Leadership and Personal Growth
00:15:00
Speaker
to get bigger. We need to get bigger. Now we're at 8000 square feet. And I think we have 28 rooms, eight stations. It's crazy. I think we have, what's the number? 63.
00:15:12
Speaker
sixty eight which is crazy. Like, it's crazy to bring this up to I just want to say, because like, you're going from like, okay, I'm this 28 year old divorced woman of two to like, okay, I'm just going to deep date people that I don't have to invest in to meeting this man. That's like, okay, like I'm just going to keep hounding you and tell you like, except me in your life. And then me and my dad are going to be like, open a salon. Yeah. And then you're going to open a salon, have a baby, three babies, three babies who with this man. Yeah. Bring in his own children.
00:15:43
Speaker
And then all while growing a salon and then in a lot of ways, and this is like what I really like loved about when I went into April space, like when I met her, my friend Candice recommended me and I was like, okay. So, and it's like the girls at the salon are so, they're all in town too. Yes. A lot of them. They're so fun. And they're so fun. And it's like, I love that how you kind of like mother, i feel like you've just nurtured people in general. Like you're raising like yeah eight kids and then you're these girls that are coming in, I feel like they're also like, it's so like, do you feel like you've always been someone that just wanted to be a mother and like pour into, cause I feel like growing up, like for me, a lot of people just wanted to I feel like we're kind of
00:16:28
Speaker
to nurture yeah people. You know what mean? I didn't want to be a mom. No, go you didn't. Not to eight. Wow. That's a lot. Yeah. I mean, eight kids is a lot. I mean, the main reason I opened bloom was because I felt like in the industry, like you would have salon owners and they were like,
00:16:45
Speaker
nickel and diming and picking at you And I was like, there's my whole like mantra is there's enough success for everyone. And I tell all my girls that there's enough business. Everyone can be successful in this business if we work together and support one another. And I just felt like in the industry, it wasn't like that. And I like, I wanted to like lead my girls and be like,
00:17:03
Speaker
Create your own path, create your own success, create your own brand, create your own business, create yourself. It was really like my big thing. And so I feel like when they come in, I'm like, I am there with like open arms and I find these girls and I'm just like, I, cause I've done it.
00:17:18
Speaker
I've been where they're at and I've built that what I've built and anyone can do it. You know what i mean? Like it's a ton of work, but I look at them. I'm like, you have the potential to be me or better or bigger, you know, like even if bloom is just a stepping stone for them, that makes me so happy. So i kind of went into it as like, I'm just like here, I'm here for them. And I get these girls and I'm like, I love them. And I push so hard for them. And I'm like, what do you want me to do to help you? And some rise to the top.
00:17:47
Speaker
and some don't, but like I'm there for them, for whatever they need. you know Yeah, and I love that because it's partly because someone believed in you, yeah that you're able to like do that, you're kind of like paying it forward. So like the when Brickman's dad like sits you down and Brickman himself, you can do this. I feel like people don't realize how,
00:18:08
Speaker
impactful someone believing in you is and then how much you can pay that forward so the girls that you're telling you know and if they don't take it and I and I talk about this even through the podcast you know people know how I say like if not everything is for everyone yeah so that doesn't mean like that just because they're not taking the path like maybe they don't even really want to do hair I feel like in Utah that's just like no yeah I mean you have some of both I have girls and I put everything into them and they totally burned me or they, you know, are they like, just you like, they just can't even show it for themselves. And you're just like, you know, and I, I, I mean, my manager, Bobby, we go back and forth with girls and we talk about him and we're like, how can we help them? What can we do?
00:18:48
Speaker
We like create plans for them. And some girls, I mean, if they want it, they they'll take it, you know? i think the cool thing about it is whether it's doing hair or anything else in life, it's about you just owning your own personal development and like growing your career. Because it's really like entrepreneurship at its yeah finest. You know, you're getting that. So that lesson, I feel like in doing all of that work, it's like you have
Identity and Fulfillment Post-Divorce
00:19:10
Speaker
to be able to show up for yourself. And some people are ready to do that. And some people aren't. I mean, I feel like Through my divorce is when I really found my confidence because like you're doing it with someone and then all of a sudden you're not.
00:19:22
Speaker
You're by yourself and you're just like, listen, inner self, we got to do this. Like we are, it's either this or that, right? So, I mean, I definitely have like Brickman runs behind the scenes. Bobby does a lot. Like I have, you know, Kennedy, all my people that helped me run the salon, I couldn't do without them. And definitely I feel it feel like with Brickman, the biggest thing in our marriage is like he has fully supported me no matter what.
00:19:48
Speaker
I mean, I could be like, I want to start a hot air balloon company, babe. And he'd be like, okay, let's do it. Like he's just down and he believes he believes in me. You know what I mean? So, and that's huge. That's really huge, been huge in our marriage that he's always believed in me and supported me.
00:20:04
Speaker
I love that. I feel like that is like the key to a lot of people. But I think you kind of you got the best of both. I feel like which is hopefully inspiring to people's journey. Like, you know what it feels like to only have yourself to rely on. Yeah.
00:20:18
Speaker
But then you also know what it feels like to have someone in your corner that's like, no matter what you want to do, like I'm here. for you and those are very different experiences yeah you know like when you don't when you're just like i'm lost and i don't know how i'm going to do this then too i know that no matter what i want to do not only do i have my own confidence and i've self-led but also i have this man that's willing to like sure sure babe whatever you want like you know what mean because i've seen him hustling at the salon with you He does everything. But the but team is key too. You know what I mean? is like, so like, and what do you feel like, I try to explain and you probably, because you still live there, like Utah is just different too. I feel like there's a level of like pressure that I felt when I got divorced that I was like, I don't want to live here anymore because I felt like there's, it's just like,
00:21:13
Speaker
like I can't explain the pressure that you just feel living there. Like being in that is like you've got to be, you got to look a certain way. You got to like, there's just, i just feel like it's different. You know i mean? So I'm sure like in the salon world, it just feels that like a little bit too. Like, is it like competitive? Do you feel like that's heavy or do you think it's not?
00:21:35
Speaker
No, it's Utah's crazy. I mean, people are starting companies left and right. Like, and they're, it's amazing. Like all these entrepreneurs, business owners, like ideas that are coming out of Utah are crazy. And i I think there's two ways to look at it. Either you can look at it and be like, I got to keep up. I got to work harder. I got to do this, this, this, or you can be like, wow, look, look what I'm doing in the middle of all this. It's enough.
00:21:58
Speaker
Like I struggle with that. I struggle with like, am I enough? Is it enough? Have I built enough? You know what i mean? And so, and I shouldn't, like I've built something great, but it's like, I think as a business owner and entrepreneur, you're constantly like trying to stay, stay with it. Right. And that is a huge Utah keeping up with the Joneses is a huge thing. And so, I mean, that's hard because I have, you know, my best friend Lisa's in Oregon and she tells like tells me all the time, like, you're amazing. You're so awesome. Like, look what you built. Like, she'll say, like, I don't know anyone like you. Like, that's amazing. And so, like, from outsiders looking in, but when you're in the thick of it in Utah, you're like, I'm barely treading water here and staying afloat. Is it enough? know. 100%. And that's kind of how I felt too. I do think it like keeping up with the Joneses. Although my family, I didn't have that. But it i just felt that sense that it kind of felt like a weight lifted when I left it. Nothing bad about it because i love Utah. yeah But it's just like, I just felt like, and maybe I was making that up in my own head. You know what I mean? for sure But I agree with what you're saying about
00:22:59
Speaker
Like i there was a book I was reading, um like The Gap and the Gain, and it talks a lot about that with entrepreneurs where when you're always in the gap, when you're thinking I should be doing more.
00:23:10
Speaker
Yeah. And the gain is like, say you were like, okay, I want to book like 10 new clients and then you book seven. But you focus that you didn't book three. three yeah Instead of the more majority. And so it becomes this like you're always in the gap.
00:23:23
Speaker
Like you're not doing enough. And so when you're in the gain is like I had seven bookings. So goal. are still good but you can't sit in the gap of like what you and I know sometimes when I come in and you're dealing with the day-to-day salon that's when you're not because I feel the same about you I'm like April you kidding me do you know what you've built because not everyone rolls in and like owns a huge salon and like yeah has all the girls that look up to them and do all those things and you're just like this is incredible it very inspiring yeah like but you're over here like
00:23:55
Speaker
oh, I'm not doing enough and I'm just going like... I know. Well, it's just like business is hard and any business owner will tell you like, oh my gosh, like, you know, it can't, nothing can prepare you for the, there's just, there's heartache and there's hurt that go along with it. And it's working through those things, those hurdles or, you know, people that have burned you or relationships that, to like stay strong and be the leader that you want to be for everyone and not fall into the into the gap, right?
00:24:23
Speaker
It's like trying to stay into the gain. I got to read that book. Yeah, it's so good. i've been I've been loving it. It's like, it's insane. So yeah, we'll link it on the website. Okay. But yes, and I, so what would you, like when you think about like what you've learned in the entrepreneur, because I feel like i your divorce probably helped you gain the strength. And then we talked about Brick, Helping support you. But like what what keeps you going when it's hard? I mean, I've I've learned a lot.
00:24:52
Speaker
I have learned a lot and I have failed a lot. And I think when I first started Bloom, I just had we were 10 of us and I just wanted everyone to be successful. I wanted everyone to be a part of everything. And I didn't want to leave people out. And I mean, trust is really hard.
00:25:07
Speaker
It's, I've gotten burned a few times from best friends, you know, girls that I, you fully trust. And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, you know, they were just using me or it wasn't important to them. It was only important to me. Like it's very one-sided as a business owner because you're just, I mean, it's your brick and mortar. It's your blood, sweat and tears. So I think that, um I mean, yeah,
00:25:30
Speaker
I don't know, getting through it's been hard, but I think just like trying to stay positive, having support from Brick, having support from Bobby, support from my family, you know, I feel like, and there is, there is more better than bad. There is more gain than gap, right? It's just like you said, looking at it and noticing it and focusing on the good. So we had a really rough, rough year at Bloom and I had a really sticky relationship and my bobby was like My best friend Bobby was like, you have 50 girls over here cheering for you and you are focused on this one girl that is, you know, and I was like, what's wrong with me? You know what i mean? And I just, I mean, it gives me the chills when I think about it because I do have all these amazing humans that I love and want to work with. and
00:26:18
Speaker
bring to Nashville and hang out. We had the best time of our lives last night. You know what I mean? Yeah. has that More to come on that. Yeah. But, and it's just like you said, like just focusing on the good. It's hard because you're, it's like the hurt and the heartache, but trying to really focus on the good and stay positive and just like be like, I still have this amazing story, amazing salon, amazing people that I'm with that I need to like, just focus on
Advice on Resilience and Embracing the Journey
00:26:40
Speaker
that, you know, and let the, let the other slough off and just let them go.
00:26:45
Speaker
Yeah, no, I feel said than done, but let him go. Let him go. Well, and I think it's like not giving that attention to the one that's bad. Like when the example of like 50 and there's the one, it's kind of even like when one person says like one rude thing or one bad review, you're like emphasizing on that. For sure. Where like a million other people have loved it. Yeah. You know, and it's like, I, you know, I obviously there's psychology to it, but there's part of you just wanting you know,
00:27:13
Speaker
make everyone happy and that's like impossible. And like, I think I went in genuinely like with a open heart and like wanting better things for my girls and my business. But you do like, you do need structure and you do need rules and you do need to, you know,
00:27:30
Speaker
you know, be a hard ass sometimes. Yeah, and how does that, I feel like you're great at that. Like you, like when I interact with you, i feel like you're like really a softy, but I know that you can be, and I actually like really like love that about you because it's sometimes it's a little hard for me to be like super assertive. um but I had, I had a part of my like life that I could, but um when you're like being assertive, it's because it's like, it's a, I feel like it's a tough love thing. Yeah. But I feel like also, and that sometimes people take it differently when you're like,
00:28:06
Speaker
and i And I, you know, men, I love you, but like when a strong woman has an opinion, it's suddenly like yeah a lot for someone yeah to just be stern when it's like maybe if it was coming from someone else, it would feel different. like I mean, I think that I built the biggest wall on earth when I got divorced and I was like, no one's going ever hurt me again.
00:28:26
Speaker
Like i'm no i'm never going to be and I'm never going to be in that relationship again where... someone is going to control me and treat me that way. And I think that is part of the reason i kind of have this like this shell on me, but I am a softy. I do have a huge heart, but I mean in business and things like that, you do have to,
00:28:46
Speaker
you know, be strong and have a hard shell sometimes and grow a thicker skin. But I really truly do feel like my divorce helped me so much to do that. I don't know if I would be as strong as I am now if I didn't go through that.
00:28:59
Speaker
yeah Yeah, and I agree with that. I feel like you really could become, you become who you, are meant to be, like when I think about it. like and i And I talked about this before I touched on it, but I feel like it's the biggest growth opportunity. Like when you're in it, it's so lonely. You don't like how it feels. You do think about having your old life back. It's not really the partner. It's just the routine, the day-to-day, your kids not having to move, you know, whatever it is.
00:29:25
Speaker
you just You want to hold on to that old version of April, that old version of you that... yeah was familiar, but then what you build from all of those trials is like that's the reason you could go to business. Like you're like, I've already felt this awful pain So like really even someone leaving you you, know, or betraying you, you've kind of already built up some yeah resilience around that. I think that like divorce strips all your layers.
00:29:54
Speaker
Right. And I think if you can take the time for yourself and heal and find out who you are, because I was divorced for, I was single for three, three and a half years, which wasn't a ton of time, but enough to like build, build myself back up and find out who I am and what I want and,
00:30:11
Speaker
And that's who I am today. and well And honestly, I think that's, if I'm new in the math, because you're 28, you're single at in your 30s in Utah. like You know what mean? With a couple of kids. like That's a long time to be a single mom. yeah That's a long time to like, because I just hit three years you know in my divorce. And I do feel like three years is really when something almost, not like immediately switched, yeah but like the level of healing that I am from you know six months, year, even year and a half to out yeah is like,
00:30:40
Speaker
wild to see yeah like how much i've changed and grown and grown yeah you do grow a lot and you grow a lot when you're by yourself because you have to you have to and now you're back in the chaos like you because you're always busy yeah do you feel like you're just because i feel like every time it's like you're back to back clients you're going to the gym early in the morning then you're like running the kids around and doing everything with your loving you like thrive on that busy I really do. like you know People that are thriving chaos, I definitely am like that. like Turn the music up, bring more people over. I love that stuff. Brickman is my calm and I need him because he is my calm and he helps me to relax and
00:31:22
Speaker
you know, like enjoy things. But um yeah, I like being busy. I've raised my kids really independent. I work a lot. They know mom works. They're, you know, doing chores, getting places. They're doing their own you know what i mean? Which I love that. i you know, went out with my daughter Ava last night and it was so fun. And she's just a strong, independent woman.
00:31:40
Speaker
And i like I could cry about it. I love it so much. So um there's definitely you know different ways to be a mom and raise your kids and all that. But um yeah, it's been it's been good.
00:31:53
Speaker
And what I love about it is I agree. There's like different ways. I think... And I'll obviously a lot of my friends are moms back because they're all yeah in Utah. So I'm like one of the few. But I know that like a biggest thing and i'll I'll even talk to my friends when they're like thinking about their parents. It's like we're all just doing life for the first time. I don't think there's any perfect way yeah to be a parent, you know, like looking even back at my own. Like they I had the most amazing parents. But like, did they do everything I would have chose as a child? Like, a no, probably not. no You know, like like blending a family, being a step parent, being a step monster is so hard.
00:32:26
Speaker
Yeah. Like coming in. Yeah. And like my stepson, I can he's so forgiving. He's always like, we were all learning. We were all learning. And I'm like, I love that because that's how you have to think about it. Like in anything in life, whether you're like getting a new step mom, being a but step mom, whatever. It's like, okay, well we've never done this before. Yeah. First time being a step mom first time, yeah like all that. And like, let's just try to figure it out together. Yeah. You know, and that's all there really is, really. Yeah. That's I mean, you know, it just trying to figure it out and make the best of what it is. Yeah. And I think that my I think that my kids like my son, Mitchell, like I think that they're stronger and like he's very like every time I see him, he'll come give me a hug every time. And I'm not a hugger.
00:33:13
Speaker
But like I want a hug from him. But like I love that about him because like he he figured it out, right? All my kids have figured it out, even though they were a blended family. And it was so hard.
00:33:23
Speaker
I think it took us three years to figure out how to like be a family and how to mix all the dynamics and the back and forth. But, I mean, a lot of heavy marriage counseling helped a ton. You know, at the beginning when you're blending, where you're just like...
00:33:39
Speaker
I don't know how to be a stepmom because that's like a whole new role. Like, you know how to be a mom, but like a stepmom where you're like. mean, feel like I just felt like, like okay, great. I'm going to help out with these kids. But like overall, you're like, you're loving ah someone else's child, like your own. And it's hard to do.
00:33:55
Speaker
And you like think, oh, I can just love everyone. And it just takes time to like learn and they've been what they've been through and like what you know they go kids go back and forth to these houses and there's different rules and different people and different families and it's not easy. So like good job to all my kids for I wasn't raised in a divorced family. I don't know what it was like and they've all done it and they've done it well.
00:34:19
Speaker
Yeah, I think that like props to the kids that have to kind of navigate that because have some friends and they're like, that was like really challenging for them. But it does make them stronger and it makes them a little bit maybe more well-rounded. They've seen different sides of different things, you know.
00:34:34
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. Good and bad. so Yeah, and I think sometimes it's just like that was their journey, right? Like they they didn't experience like two parents and that that's just – that's okay. But I know that it goes both ways when I talk to people because I have friends that are like, I just wish my parents would have got divorced. I know. It's true. Like I just got to witness an awful relationship. As hard as it is, it's like you – if I would have stayed, I don't know if it would have been any better, right?
00:35:00
Speaker
Yeah. so Well, especially if you like think how much you've grown, because I do think I'm personally, whether it's the mother or father, anyone showing that example of going after your dreams and building something of your own.
00:35:13
Speaker
I think that's very like for your children to see yeah what you built. For sure. Like literally brick by brick with Brickman, you know, like you, you, you guys have built something and that's like,
00:35:28
Speaker
I feel like something to for them to be proud of. yeah Like my mom knows how to just figure it out and build. it so And i've hope they like they've learned how to figure things out and you know be independent and strong.
00:35:42
Speaker
Yeah. And i'm I'm sure they did. I think one of the biggest things when you, and I'm learning this too, as I'm just even putting myself out there, like my little sister texted other day and was just like, I'm so proud of you for like doing that. And when you show up for yourself,
00:35:55
Speaker
yeah The people in your life around you like are kind of like, oh, I could show up for myself too. yeah And that's why I think it is key for children to see their parents showing up for themselves, whatever that looks like, even if it's not an ideal scenario. yeah It's still my mom loves herself enough to not self-abandon.
00:36:17
Speaker
The way that you felt that way, right? You felt like this is not for me. And you had a choice. You could stay and continue to self-abandon and probably deteriorate your confidence and what you not have the life that you knew you wanted. Yeah. Because that probably wouldn't have been the path. Right. You didn't have someone, nothing wrong, but it didn't sound like you had the partner in that relationship.
00:36:38
Speaker
would have inspired you and driven you and given you the confidence you needed to expand. Yeah. Well, just like how you're raised, I think my mom's family and my dad's family that I knew, like they raised them a certain way, then they raised me a certain way. And I think that, you know,
00:36:55
Speaker
we were raised independent and strong and like you don't because your brother like he does his own entrepreneur stuff like you have entrepreneurs all my siblings are very successful and active and busy busy busy we're really busy family i know how many do you have any because you guys like do all like fun like outings you just went to like california and did like a big thing we're we're big into family reunions we're we plan a year out my mom is a planner I'm not as good as that as her, but she's a planner and it's it's been great. And I hope to like follow that with my kids. Like we're getting together for a family and forced family fun time. You're coming.
00:37:30
Speaker
I love that. I think that that's great. That's one thing I love about like people be like, oh, you're a good host. I'm like, I feel like growing up in Utah, like that's just like kind of like something you have to be good at. Yeah. Like you just have to like, you know, my mom would always like play bunco and stuff. And it's like, you're just like hosting people all the time. we love bunco. Yeah. Like moving out here. I'm like, I didn't feel like it wasn't the same. The one girl that I even do something like that. She's from Utah. She did like, i literally met her on TikTok and she did like a, ah like a book club. She like wrote me cause she was also from Utah and she's like, Oh, I do a book club, yeah like dinner party thing. And I was like, of course the girl from Utah is like organizing that. Cause I feel like that's how we are. Like, it's like a community thing. yeah You know, even you bring in the girls yesterday. I was like,
00:38:14
Speaker
like these utah girls it was so fun i know it was so fun and it's just been it's been a journey and the crazy thing and i'll kind of like circle back to just like having april in my heart like when i remember that i was going through my divorce i go to the salon and and when i came back i'm like i'm getting divorced and you're probably like and i didn't know i don't think i knew you were divorced because i don't know if we got into all that like the first time because it was literally like maybe like the second yeah time yeah i did your hair yeah uh-huh And i you're like, are we getting 22? Divorce hair it is. Divorce hair. And I was like, is that a thing? But apparently, but I was like, but you really want to like, to your point, like you're you don't know who you are anymore. Yeah.
00:38:55
Speaker
You know what i mean And I just feel like you arrived in my life. It's less about just, and when we talk about like, I love that we're talking about entrepreneurship because I think a lot of people right now are just awakening to their own passions and people are like, can I do the opportunity entrepreneurship? And what you said earlier is so true.
00:39:12
Speaker
Most of the time, you're already talented enough to do... You're already doing it. you're just You just haven't built the structure and the confidence yeah to go for it. yeah But you're already... That's already what you're doing. You're just not... You just need to shift the structure and reorganize. know what mean? Like girls that I work with, I'm like, I see their potential. I can see it. They just need to see it and find it. They see it and find it. And so I hope someone listening is seeing it and finding it because we got April over here that's going from a divorced single mom with two kids to like now having...
00:39:41
Speaker
eight combined children. 24 to 10. Yeah, twins at at the end. Twins at the end. Yeah, so I'm like, if she can do this, yeah like anyone can figure it out with like the right things. You just have to kind of open your heart to those opportunities coming to you. And like you said,
00:39:59
Speaker
am I ready to step up as my highest self, the best self that can possibly be? And you've taught me so much about manifesting and like really just saying it and thinking it and just, I love that about you. Like I think about that all the time. And it's like, when you sit in my chair, you're just like, April, you can do it. It's fine. Talk about it. Like all the things, I love that about you. Yeah, it's taught me a lot. I love that. I'm glad. I love, that's just what I like to do. You know, I'm just always here yapping. But no, I appreciate that, April. Because I do believe that and I think,
00:40:29
Speaker
I think what people don't see about you probably when you're like being like tough and you have to be like this business girl, I love it because I know that's what it will take for me to grow the things I'm gonna grow. I see in you what I'm going to have to be more rigid and i'm gonna have to put my foot down and I'm gonna have to be that way and i'm I'm gonna have to disappoint some people. Yeah, for sure. Right? And that's not because I'm not a kind person yeah or that I don't love or that I don't have a heart. Two things can be true. for i can have to make difficult decisions that someone's not going to prefer. and then I can also but I also like growing a business like those. you know what I mean? big I care about this thing. And I think sometimes people want to see it black or white. Like if you do this, that means you don't care. or if you don't did didn't do this, that means this. But it's not like two things can be true.
00:41:17
Speaker
You can make the right decision for a business and it can hurt someone. Well, yeah, and I just, like, I tell my kids, like, as they're navigating careers and stuff, I'm just like, find something you love, like something you love to do and figure out how to make it your job every day, you know, whether it's working with your hands or working with people or working in, you know, healthcare. care what what do what love What do you love that keeps your interest peaked every day?
00:41:39
Speaker
Because that's what I feel like I have. I love what I do. You do love it. And you can tell yourself. And I think that's also where the passion comes from when you're being like caring so because you love it so much. If you didn't, you wouldn't even want for yeah more for anyone else or everyone else or the salon. And if you don't love what you do, go find what you love.
00:42:00
Speaker
yeah It's out there. It's out there. and you but you have to I think that all comes back to let's talk about the manifestation. It's really identity. like i You manifest from identity. So until you can see yourself as that person that has a salon, that has a ton of clients, even your girls, like if in their mind they're like, oh, that could never be me. Yeah.
00:42:23
Speaker
then they can't get there they because they don't even see the path. it it They've already just decided for themselves. yeah And that's i think that's kind of where divorce gives you another chance. I'm kind of tying that to that, but yeah it's almost because you've decided who you were and then the divorce takes everything that you decided about who you were away.
00:42:44
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, for sure. And you're just like, Well, who am I now? Yeah. And it's a lot. It's a lot. And it's heavy. So let's end this by understanding you're talking to your younger self, April. And you're like, this is going to be a journey because it has been. Yeah, it has been. From 22 getting married to where and everything you've built in your career and so successful. What would you tell her? Um, it's really easy to get in your head and to get discouraged in business, but I would say like, I enjoy the ride. I would tell her enjoy the ride. It's going to be hard. It's going to be busy. It's going to be fast paced, but try and enjoy the ride, like sit back and enjoy it. And I am getting to a place in my career where I feel like I can like take a breath and enjoy it. And I've really put people in place in my life that are helping me
00:43:40
Speaker
to be able to relax and like make things run more smoothly. So I would just tell her, don't get in your head. You got this and enjoy the ride and try and enjoy what you've built and enjoy the people and you know, that sort of thing. So.
00:43:56
Speaker
I love that. Yeah, I definitely think that's a key thing that we should all take is really enjoying the ride. I think when you're in the moment, and another great book, Power of Now, I've talked about before, that saved me. Like being in the now is like the only time you really enjoy. Because like probably last night out in Nashville, you're in the now. You're in the joy. It's vibe. Be present. You're there and enjoying the ride. And you wouldn't even be out here in Nashville if you didn't come to the salon. All of these things, they always work out for you. So just enjoy. always say that to April. Say it again. Say it again. It always works out for you. Literally, it always works out. I feel like even the timing, I was like, I need to get my hair done in eight weeks. I know. I was like, wait, should we do a trip? Let's do a trip. April's birthday. It's April. Let's It worked out.
00:44:44
Speaker
perfect weekend. So yes, I love it. So I loved having you on April. I feel like so fun. Your message is going to help a lot of people just how you've been able to rebuild your entire life into something beautiful with the help of, yeah know, people along the way, but it took you accepting the help. I know sometimes that's a hard thing as well. I think that I will say for anyone listening,
00:45:08
Speaker
In a marriage, be present as much as you can for your spouse, because I feel like now in this day of a day and age, it's like so easy to not be present. And that has been something huge in our marriage that has brought us so much connection is being present. So...
00:45:24
Speaker
As life gets busy. Yeah. Yeah. And it's hard to do, but it's so important and highly recommend. Okay. So be present. I mean, maybe I'll find my Brickman, the the balance to ah find your Brickman. Find my Brickman Brick. We'll like that. um New line for you, Brick. Yeah.
00:45:43
Speaker
the next time you're like, oh, Bricks piss me off. it's like, well, somebody wants out there. What can create calling Find Your Brickman? Yeah, I know, huh? But okay, April, I'm going to wrap this up. I'm so grateful for you. We're going to have some great times in Nashville. So maybe we'll have some more stories to tell eventually. Yes. But If you're listening, i just want you to know that no matter where you are on your path and journey, if you're like in the middle of the mess or you're just getting divorced or you're managing life and trying to be a single parent.
00:46:14
Speaker
It works out. Yeah. You just have to allow yourself to heal and grow and learn and know that it is like you don't know what you don't know. And just and like April said, enjoy the ride. Yeah. every Every pitfall, everything, it leads you to where you're meant to be.
00:46:32
Speaker
And you will get there. And please share this with someone that needs it. This was Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. You matter.